67. Cockney / London Accent

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Tapescript of the interview:

Alright, I remember going on a date once, years ago, with a girl, a really good girl and I knew her brother and everything, right. And, I picked her up. And as I went to pick her up, I walked into the… this is a disaster, this is how things go wrong, right? I walked into the passageway and they lived round the back of the Limehouse, really nice people. And someone [had] left the telephone on the floor. And there was a glass door into the front room, the lounge. As I walked in, I was going “hello” and I kicked the telephone on the, it was like on the volley, on the half volley. It went straight through the glass window, right? No, that’s the first, right? Smashed the thing to pieces, right? I’m in bits, I’m like, like that. Mum and Dad were cool, I said I’m really sorry, like that. “who left the phone on the floor?” they’re going on and all that. “I’m really really sorry”. Kerry was upstairs getting ready and all that.

And then I sat down on the settee waiting for her, and Mum’s panning the glass up and it’s like… I’m in bits. And I leant on the side of the sofa, like that, and the whole sofa ripped down and fell off. Now you’re going to think I’m joking here, right? It fell off, and I’m up. It’s like You’ve Been Framed or something, right? I’m in bits now, right? I’m fucking sorry, right. And they’re getting the hump now. I’m smashing the house up! I’ve only been in there 5 minutes.

Done that. We’ve got a bus, from Limehouse. On the bus. Some Russian type sailor started digging us out. you know saying “you come with me, with your girlfriend” and all that. I’ve had a fight on the bus, with the geezer, right, within half an hour now, right? I’ve mullered him on the bus, right? It’s all gone pear shaped, right? So we’re still going out, we’ve gone to a pub, then we’ve gone to a party and the party’s in Cloudesley Square, in Islington, right?

Go up there, nice house, very nice house, one of those 3, kind of, tier houses, town houses things, really lovely, and the same thing. You know what I was just saying about this, what reminded me about, you know, keeping one eye on her and she’s alright and I’m talking to a couple of friends here like, boom boom boom. And as she’s walked across the room, right, to come and talk to me, I’ve noticed, you do with your girls, it’s something you, kind of, you look after them without making them feel they’re being looked after if you know what I mean, but you watch them. And she’s tripped on the carpet. And as I’ve caught her, I caught her, right? There’s a table behind me with a glass chandelier, right, thing on, right, and I don’t know how much this was worth, right, and I’ve hit it, and it smashed on the floor, on the fireplace and it’s gone everywhere. There’s glass everywhere. You couldn’t glue this back together. Right? And the woman whose house it was screamed. Right? And I remember saying to her, “I’m really sorry love, whatever it cost, I’ll… I was trying to catch her, whatever it cost, I’ll pay for it and I’ll put it all right, you know” it was obviously someone’s Mum we knew and “I’ll pay for that” and she went on and then you go “well fuck you then” and then it all goes pear shaped.

And, that was the date, and I got her home and that was that. Really nice girl, could’ve, you know, might have been really nice. That was it. I had a nightmare. So, by watching someone and trying to be so nice, it all went the other way.

Here’s the video of Ray Winstone describing the date.


20 thoughts on “67. Cockney / London Accent

  1. Mane

    I think what he wants to say when he sais “ban ban ban” is like when we here in Andalucía say “pin pan pun” when you want to say in a funny or short way “and all that stuff”, I think if you translate that by “and all that stuff”, it sounds well…

  2. Nataliya

    I’ve been interested in different british accents lately. Cockney is the best. It was fantastic. I barely understood a word of his speech. The video helped a lot. You really need to see him while he’s speaking.
    This type of speaking among working class and ten-years-old “gangstas” occurs in Russia too. In most countries it does, I think. It’s kinda a swallowing of a good half of the alphabet and a “f@#k” every other word.
    By the way, the expression “dig smb out” has got almost an exact equivalent in russian slang “докапываться”. Sometimes I wonder, who steals words from who? Or has it something to do with the way people think?

  3. Ivan

    cockney noises hahaha. lol. Seriously I think the guy just made the whole story up, met this kinda guys before can tell you any bs just to keep you listening

  4. Anonymous

    I think it’s really good to be introduced to differen dialects of English. However to be honest listening to it for the first time I didn’t understand close to nothing.It’s a bit frustrating!

  5. Ksenia

    I had to check up synonyms to the word ‘hilarious’ because I just can’t write all the time that your podcasts are hilarious)) So this one is screamingly funny (but somehow I feel you don’t use this expression, am I right?)
    I would say I understood the general idea of what was going on on that date. And what a date that was! Sometimes life is far more unexpected and funny and well, everything that fiction)
    In terms of pronunciation I especially enjoy the way ‘like that’ is pronounced in cockney :))

    1. Luke Thompson Post author

      Haha, I’m glad you enjoyed it. I must do more episodes on the cockney accent because it’s so enjoyable.
      “Screamingly funny” is not bad – although I don’t use it every day.
      “That was hilarious” is very common but here are some other possibilities:
      “That was SO funny”
      “That cracked me up”

      There are lots of other synonyms for ‘hilarious’ as you know, but they’re not that common in every day conversation and it might sound a bit weird if you say “That was uproarious” of something.

    1. Luke Thompson

      Did you just watch the video, or did you listen to the podcast too?
      I explain it all for you clearly in the podcast, so that should help you understand everything.

      1. Juan

        Both… I just watch the video, and then i listen to your podcast. But it’s impossible, at least for me, to get what that guy is saying. Even with your explanation it was hard. I really don’t know how you do that, friend. Btw, i love your podcast.

    2. Tanja

      As for me I got everything, but just after Luke’s explanation. I like Luke’s way to explain stuff like this and I love this podcast very much!

  6. Pingback: Teacher Luke’s lessons | Notes

  7. Ronald Ricchetti

    honestly. i do not like American accent i dont know its very common because all the people around the world speak like it and when i’m playing with acccent in my english class everybody say wooow. so I personally prefer brithish accent so original, pure and some day i want to walk on oxford street.

  8. Ronald Ricchetti

    thank you very much Luke i really appreciate your advice, you know every day i listen your podcast on my cumputer while i’m working and to be honest you have been very helpful for me since the first time i heard about you..!! cheers..

    1. teacherluke

      No, I don’t recommend that you learn to speak like a cockney. But I do recommend that you learn to understand different accents in English. I think it’s important to be aware of all the difference varieties of English.