Daily Archives: January 30, 2012

83. How to Swear in British English – VERY RUDE CONTENT (with James)

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Warning: Explicit Content. Do not listen to this if you are easily offended. This episode contains lots of very rude words and offensive content. You can read all the swear words, and watch some videos below.

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Introduction

This is an overview of all the swear words in British English. The aim of this episode is to explain how to swear. Please remember that swearing is very offensive and is almost always inappropriate. Please do not swear regularly! It doesn’t sound good.

In this episode I am joined by my brother James and we explain all the main swear words in English, their meaning, their use and how offensive they are. You can read the list of swear words below. Please remember that they are very rude indeed!

I do not intend to cause offence with this episode, just to educate people about language.

VOCABULARY

Here is a list of all the swear words. The * represents how rude or offensive the word is in my opinion.

*damn
*blast
*hell
*damn it
*damn it to hell
*damn you
*bloody hell
**bugger / bugger it / it’s buggered / you daft bugger
***piss / piss off / what a pisser / it’s pissing it down / I’m pissed off
***sod / sod it / you sod
***arse / you arsehole
***prick / you prick / you dick / you dickhead / you cock
***crap / that’s crap / that’s a load of crap / don’t talk crap
****bastard
*****bollocks / that’s a load of bollocks / never mind the bollocks / that’s the (dog’s) bollocks
***balls
*nuts
*****bitch
*****you bellend
*****wank / you wanker
***you tosser
******shit / to do, take, have a shit / that’s shit / that’s the shit / to have the shits / are you shitting me? / I shit you not / he’s a shit / this is good shit / shit head / shit face / shitty / bullshit / I’m shitting myself / I was shitting it / I don’t give a shit / shit – shat – shat / I was shit scared / I don’t give a shit / when the shit hits the fan / to be shitfaced
*******fuck / to fuck something / fuck off / fuck you / shut the fuck up / fucking hell / I’m fucked / that’s fucked up / what are you fucking doing in my bed? / what are you doing fucking in my bed? / what the fuck? / no fucking way! / what the fuck are you doing? / who the fuck is he? / un-fucking-believable / abso-fucking-lutely / you fuck / you fucker / for fuck’s sake / I don’t give a fuck
********mother-fucker
*********cunt / he’s such a cunt / I felt like an absolute cunt / you stupid cunt / you fucking cunt

All those words are offensive, but the following are the very taboo words which genuinely cause a lot of offence. They’re mainly used as racist abuse: nigger (often heard in hop-hop records as black American people sometimes use this word to refer to themselves) and paki – which was used as a term of racist abuse against people of asian origin living in the UK in the 70s and 80s. It’s associated with hate crimes and racism, so of course I think it’s a very offensive word.

So that’s it. It seems that swear words used to be religious in nature “damn”etc, then they became about sex or the body, “fuck” “shit” etc, but are they really that offensive? Not in comparison with words used in racial abuse. Perhaps it is the reasons for which words are used which are offensive, and not the words themselves. What is in a word? Offensive words can be powerful so think twice before using them.

VIDEOS

Here are some videos that feature lots examples of swearing.

George Carlin’s Classic Bit about Rude Language

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p25SdQEnhHI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Kf4kyQabwQ

82. Voting / Elections / Politics / Government

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In this episode I teach you lots of vocabulary for talking about voting, elections, government and politics. This episode contains some seriously useful and important terms about politics and the way the government runs here in the UK.

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The vocabulary I teach in this episode is listed below. Also you’ll find a transcript to the comedy sketch at the bottom. Enjoy!

VOCABULARY ABOUT VOTING, ELECTIONS, GOVERNMENT AND POLITICS
Listen to the episode to get definitions and explanations.
– a vote, to have a vote, to vote for someone
– an election / to elect someone as leader / a general election
– to cast a vote / to take a vote
– by show of hands
– a poll vote
– polling booth
– ballot
– ballot paper / ballot box
– polls(predictions)
– candidates
– campaign
– to form government
– a coalition government
– first past the post
– proportional representation
– parliament
– cabinet
– ministers
– ministries
– prime minister
– opposition
– shadow cabinet
– The Queen
– democratic elections
– corruption
– vote rigging
– miscounting
– “power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely”
– an uprising
– a revolution
– a riot
– looters / looting
– detention
– torture
– tourists
– terrorists

COMEDY SKETCH TRANSCRIPT

Monty Python – Election Night Special

From ‘Monty Python Live at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane’. Buy the CD here on Amazon.

About the Sketch:

This sketch not only was performed on their album ‘Monty Python live at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane’, it also appeared in the Flying Circus TV Show – Episode 19. It was also featured on their other album – ”Monty Python’s The Final Ripoff’. Please note that the actors that played the roles in the Album versions differs from the TV Series version. To avoid confusion instead of showing the characters names, I have shown the actors names.

The Transcript of the Sketch

(Music)

Cleese: (talking very fast, as do all the commentators): Hello, good evening and welcome to Election Night Special. There’s tremendous excitement here at the moment and we should be getting the first results through any moment now. We’re not sure where it will be from, it might be Leicester or from West Byfleet, the polling’s been quite heavy in both areas. Ah, I’m just getting… I’m just getting… a buzzing noise in my left ear. Urgh, argh! (removes insect and stamps on it). And now let’s go straight over to Leicester.

Palin: And it’s a straight fight here at Leicester and we’re expecting the result any moment now. There with the Returning Officer is Arthur Smith the sensible candidate and next to him is Jethro Q. Walrustitty the silly candidate with his agent and his silly wife.

Idle: (clears throat) Here is the result for Leicester. Arthur J. Smith…

Cleese: Sensible Party

Idle: …30,612. (applause) Jethro Q. Bunn Whackett Buzzard Stubble and Boot Walrustitty…

Cleese: Silly Party

Idle: …33,108. (applause)

Cleese: Well there we have the first result of the election and the Silly party has held Leicester. Norman.

Palin: Well pretty much as I predicted, except that the Silly party won. Er, I think this is largely due to the number of votes cast. Gerald.

Chapman: Well there’s a big swing here to the Silly Party, but how big a swing I’m not going to tell you.

Palin: I think one should point out that in this constituency since the last election a lot of very silly people have moved into new housing estates with the result that a lot of sensible voters have moved further down the road the other side of number er, 29.

Cleese: Well I can’t add anything to that. Colin?

Idle: Can I just say that this is the first time I’ve been on television?

Cleese: No I’m sorry, there isn’t time, we’re just going straight over to Luton.

Chapman: Well here at Luton it’s a three-cornered contest between, from left to right, Alan Jones (Sensible Party), Tarquin Fin-tim-lim-bim-lim-bin- bim-bin-bim bus stop F’tang F’tang Olé Biscuitbarrel (Silly Party), and Kevin Phillips Bong, who is running on the Slightly Silly ticket. And here’s the result.

Woman: Alan Jones…

Cleese: Sensible

Woman: …9,112. Kevin Phillips Bong…

Cleese: Slightly Silly

Woman: Nought. Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim bus stop F’tang F’tang Olé Biscuitbarrel…

Cleese: Silly

Woman: 12,441. (applause)

Cleese: Well there you have it, the first result of the election as the Silly Party take Luton. Norman.

Palin: Well this is a very significant result. Luton, normally a very sensible constituency with a high proportion of people who aren’t a bit silly, has gone completely ga-ga.

Cleese: And we’ve just heard that James Gilbert has with him the winning Silly candidate at Luton.

Idle: Tarquin, are you pleased with this result?

Palin: Ho yus, me old beauty, I should say so. (Silly noises including a goat bleating).

Cleese: And do we have the swing at Luton?

Chapman: Er… no.

Cleese: (pause) Right, well I can’t add anything to that. Colin?

Idle: Can I just say that this is the second time I’ve been on television?

Cleese: No, I’m sorry there isn’t time, we’re just about to get another result.

Palin: And this one is from Harpenden Southeast. A very interesting constituency this: in addition to the official Silly candidate there is an unofficial Very Silly candidate, in the slab of concrete, and he could well split the silly vote here at Harpenden Southeast.

Jones: Mrs Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Cleese: Silly

Jones: 26,317 (applause). Jeanette Walker…

Cleese: Sensible Jones: 26,318…

Cleese: Very close!

Jones: Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Blackpool Rock Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable Brrroooo Norman Michael (rings bell) (blows whistle) Edward (sounds car horn) (does train impersonation) (sounds buzzer) Thomas Moo… (sings) “We’ll keep a welcome in the…” (fires gun) William (makes silly noise) “Raindrops keep falling on my” (weird noise) “Don’t sleep in the subway” (cuckoo cuckoo) Naaoooo… Smith.

Cleese: Very Silly

Jones: …two.

Cleese: Well there you have it, a Sensible gain at Harpenden with the Silly vote being split.

Palin: And we’ve just heard from Luton that Tony Stratton-Smith has with him there the unsuccessful Slightly Silly candidate, Kevin Phillips Bong.

Idle: Kevin Phillips Bong. You polled no votes at all. Not a sausage. Bugger all. Are you at all disappointed with this performance?

Neil Innes: Not at all. As I always say:
Climb every mountain
Ford every stream,
Follow every by-way,
Till you find your dream.
(Sings) A dream that will last
All the love you can give
Every day of your life
For as long as you live.
All together now!
Climb every mountain
Ford every stream…
Cleese: A very brave Kevin Phillips Bong there. Norman.

Palin: And I’ve just heard from Luton that my aunt is ill. Possibly gastro-enteritis, possibly just catarrh. Gerald.

Cleese: Right. Er, Colin?

Idle: Can I just say that I’ll never appear on television again?

Cleese: No I’m sorry, there isn’t time, we have to pick up a few results you may have missed. A little pink pussy-cat has taken Barrow-in-Furness — that’s a gain from the Liberals there. Rastus Odinga Odinga has taken Wolverhampton Southwest, that’s Enoch Powell’s old constituency — an important gain there for Darkie Power. Arthur Negus has held Bristols — that’s not a result, that’s just a piece of gossip. Sir Alec Douglas Home has taken Oldham for the Stone Dead party. A small piece of putty about that big, a cheese mechanic from Dunbar and two frogs — one called Kipper the other not — have all gone “Ni ni ni ni ni ni!” in Blackpool Central. And so it’s beginning to look like a Silly landslide, and with the prospect of five more years’ Silly government facing us we… Oh I don’t want to do this any more, I’m bored!

Palin: He’s right you know, it is a bloody waste of time.

Chapman: Absolute waste of time.

Palin: I wanted to be a gynaecologist…

81. What Makes a Great Teacher?

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This is a guest post written by Lori Hutchison from www.mastersinteaching.net. I’m sure you’ll agree it is a very interesting article. Thank you Lori! If you’re interested in training to become a teacher, please visit her page for more information (see link at the bottom of this document.) Expect an episode of Luke’s English Podcast on this topic in the near future.

Five Common Characteristics of Highly Effective Teachers
Throughout the years, there have been teachers who have made history for their unique teaching styles, their intelligence and their ability to change people’s perspectives on education. Famous teachers in history (like Confucius, Friedrich Froebel and Maya Angelou) may all come from different times and different parts of the world, but they all have some common characteristics.

These common characteristics are what make them such great teachers and guides. Although particular traits do not guarantee that someone will be a great teacher, they do provide a supporting foundation. Listed below are the five common characteristics of highly effective teachers:

1. A passionate approach: No matter what the technique or method, a teacher must fully believe in their teaching philosophy. If a teacher is only teaching by the book and not from the heart, it will be much more difficult to get through to students. Some subjects do not seem important or fun to learn, but good teachers know how to turn “boring” topics into extraordinary topics. They are always trying to spark interest in the minds of their students and create that “eureka!” moment.

2. A strong position on classroom organization and discipline: Any teacher increases their students’ chances for success when they manage their classroom in an organized manner. In addition, great teachers verbalize to their students exactly what they expect from them in terms of academics and behavior. Great teachers also have a well-defined position on classroom discipline and practice a firm yet gentle approach to student correction. They are also fair and treat all students equally.

3. Attentiveness: Great teachers know how to read their students’ body language. They recognize when a student is struggling with a particular subject or personal problem, and they always do what they can to help their students find solutions to their struggles. Great teachers truly care about their students’ success, and they know that the likelihood for success increases when the teacher pays great attention to the student’s progression.

4. The ability to empathize: In addition to constant attention to their students’ progression, great teachers also practice empathy. Because everyone struggles at some point, teachers need the ability to stop, listen and understand a student’s academic or personal roadblock. More important than understanding, though, great teachers know how to build up their students’ confidence and realize their potential. They also have the ability to recognize when a particular teaching method is not working for a student and can change the approach to fit the student’s particular learning needs.

5. Patience: When it comes to teaching and learning, great teachers have an unlimited capacity for perseverance and composure. They understand that every student learns at a different rate and through different means, and they are willing to work until all understand.

All of the above characteristics can be learned and practiced by every teacher interested in becoming better at their profession. However, one should not fret if they have a difficult time making these characteristics habit. Perhaps the most important feature of a great teacher is being an upstanding citizen and good role model for youth.

Lori Hutchison teaches high school English and owns the site Masters in Teaching. In her spare time, she enjoys writing guest blog posts about various topics of interest; especially teaching!