In this episode you’ll hear me talking to Kristina from Russia, the winner of the LEP anecdote competition this year. We talk about her work as a translator and interpreter, her reflections on language learning, how she learned English to a good level and some other bits and pieces.
Hello! Welcome back to the podcast. In this episode I am talking to Kristina from Russia. If you’ve heard episode 403 of this podcast you’ll know that she is a listener who won my anecdote competition this year. Her anecdote was about how she ended up having to interpret for Emir Kusturica – the famous Serbian film director, on stage at a film festival in front of an audience of movie industry people with absolutely no preparation.
It sounded stressful and it’s also impressive that she managed to get through the whole thing successfully, without running screaming from the building.
Kristina’s story was the clear winner in the final round of the competition. It was interesting to hear about how she described that stressful and exciting experience and how her language skills were involved. The prize for winning, as suggested by one of my podcast listeners, was to have a one-to-one Skype conversation with yours truly (that’s me).
We did that the other day. We chatted on Skype for nearly an hour, with her in Saint Petersburg and me in Paris, and I thought it might be interesting to record part of the conversation for an episode of this podcast. Kristina agreed and so, in this episode you can hear the result.
So in this episode you are going to hear Kristina talking about
How she became a translator and interpreter
The differences and challenges of those two types of work
How she has learned English to her current level, and some general reflections on language learning (by the way she speaks several other languages including Norwegian and German)
The way she maintains her level of English and how listening is an important part of that process
I think Kristina is an example of someone who has not only managed to learn English to a proficient level but has also built a career around her language abilities. It was lovely to speak to her and I hope you enjoy listening our conversation.
So, without any further ado, here is Kristina from Russia, the winner of the LEP anecdote competition 2016.
* CONVERSATION *
Announcement: LEP Meeting for Conversation in Moscow
Here’s a message from a listener in Moscow called Dmitry:
Is here anybody from MOSCOW?!
A friend of mine is organizing the first MEETING of The Moscow LEPsters Conversation Club – a club for those who study English, like Luke’s podcast and want to develop speaking skills as well! Everybody is welcome on Sunday, December 11th at 4pm in the Wooden Door anti-cafe. We intend to discuss Luke’s podcast, your favorite episodes, drink tea/coffee, eat cookies, SPEAK and have fun! The meeting itself is absolutely free BUT the anticafe charges everybody 2 roubles per minute. Coffee and cookies included in this standard price. [Luke: About 1.7E per hour for free cookies and coffee? Not bad!] REGISTRATION: just send your name and several words about you (if you wish) to email@example.com or click “I will participate” on the Facebook page
Link here: www.facebook.com/events/275649646170689/ It will be great to share emotions and ideas! See you on Sunday at 4pm!
Let me know if you’re planning an LEP Get Together in your area
If you’re planning an LEP Meeting in your area, let me know and I can spread the word!
Getting together with like-minded people and having some fun speaking English is a great idea! It can be a great way to practise speaking and you can make some friends too.
The final results of the LEP Anecdote Competition, some podcast admin and responses to some comments & emails from listeners including a war story, some grammar & punctuation (noun phrases, possessives & apostrophes) and a question about my Dad’s accent.
The LEP Anecdote Competition – Final Results
The voting closed at midnight last night. So, here are the results in reverse order.
10th position: Weija Wang from China (talked about how his female friend embarrassed him by admitting that she had fallen in love with him, but he suspects it might have been a practical joke)
9th position: Shujaat from Pakistan (told us the story of how he narrowly avoided a terrorist attack near his college)
8th position: Elena from Russia (told us the nightmare story of how she went on a wild goose chase to find the daughter of one of her friends, who appeared to go missing one Saturday evening)
7th position: Frankie from Sicily, Italy (talked about how he narrowly escaped death in a walk around a lake that turned into the day trip from hell)
6th position: Vasily from Tashkent (told the sweet story of how he met his wife, accompanied by the lovely sound of the accordion – this story was a cult hit in the comment section, prompting lots of speculation about Vasily’s virtuoso accordion playing skills)
5th position: Jose from Spain (told a creepy story about a suspicious character he used to know)
4th position: Zdenek from Czech Republic (told an amusing anecdote about a lesson learned on the London Underground about how to say “please” to strangers)
3rd position: Marla from Germany (in her lovely voice told us about how she found herself on the set of the brilliant BBC TV series “Sherlock”, and met one of the main cast members)
2nd position: Saaya from Japan (Told us a story involving a pyjama-based family coincidence which proved to her that she’s truly is a chip off the old block)
1st position! DRUM ROLL! … Kristina from Russia! (who told us about her nerve-wracking experience of doing a completely unprepared live simultaneous translation for a famous film director, on stage in front of a large audience of people)
Also, congratulations to everyone who took part. It was really great to listen to your stories.
You can still hear the anecdotes, by visiting the page for episode 387 (all anecdotes).
I hope you join me in congratulating the winner and the runners up.
Adverts at the beginning of episodes
You might have heard some adverts being played at the beginning of episodes. For example, you play an episode on your podcasting app or on the website and before the episode begins you hear about 20-30 seconds of advertising. I’m not talking about the bit where I mention my sponsor for the podcast, but another ad – not featuring my voice. The ads are region specific. For example, here in France I hear adverts for Mini (coincidentally enough, voiced by my mate Tom Morton from episode 344). Some of you won’t be hearing these ads, but many of you will, and you might be wondering what they are. Let me explain. They’re not added by me. They’re added by Audioboom and I’m hoping that they’ll be a temporary thing. Audioboom, my audio host, are now inserting ads into podcast content which is hosted by them. I’m one of many podcasts which are hosted by Audioboom. They don’t just do podcasts. They do audio hosting service for lots of other purposes – e.g. for news websites that want to embed audio clips onto their websites, or journalists who want to publish pieces of audio. They’ve recently started featuring adverts on audio content in order to monetise their service. I’m in discussion with them about this. Personally, I don’t really want the ads. I have my own sponsors – italki & Audible and some others that I’m talking to. They’re working pretty well because I like their services, we have a good relationship and they’re services that reflect the aims of my podcast. I don’t really want other ads in addition to those. Some sponsorship is definitely necessary in order to keep this podcast free, and I want it to stay free. But too much advertising is definitely not a good thing. I want to make sure your listening experience is enjoyable, as much as possible. I personally find it annoying and a bit jarring to hear certain types of advertising at the beginning of episodes.
So, I’m in talks with Audioboom about how we can enter a new agreement in which those ads are not featured on my content. That new arrangement is now pending, meaning that we’re in the middle of sorting it out. I’m waiting for Audioboom to get back to me with some other options. Hopefully we’ll find a solution which is satisfying, or I might move to a new podcast host, which would be pretty inconvenient for me, but in the long run might be better for the podcast.
In the meantime, you might hear some ads inserted at the beginning and the end of my episodes, but I expect it won’t be a long-term thing. They’ll just be there until Audioboom and I have figured out a way to either remove them, or improve them to the point that I’m happy to keep them.
You might think – “you could earn money from them Luke, to help monetise your podcast”. Yes, that’s a good point, but as I said, I already have sponsors which I feel are working for me well enough, and allow me to cover costs like website services and just the time I devote to the preparation, recording and production of the podcast. The main thing for me at this stage is that the listening experience is good for you.
I need to balance all these things: the monetary support I might get from advertising or sponsorship, your experience of listening to my episodes, the workload that I have and the time I have to devote to the project.
So, in brief – if you’ve heard slightly intrusive sounding advertising at the beginning of episodes – I am aware of it, I didn’t insert those adverts myself and I expect it will only be a temporary thing until Audioboom and I have reached some kind of agreement.
A family story from WW1 – A Turkish POW in Russia
This is Deniz’s comment after my episodes about D-Day and in relation to the episode I did about my Grandfather, who died at the beginning of 2015.
In episode 183/184 I went to the D-Day commemoration to remember what happened in Normandy in 1944. My Grandfather was an officer in charge of a group of men on that day. I asked listeners to share any stories they had about family members who got caught up in WW2.
Hey Luke, This was an intense episode, wasn’t it? I can understand what you feel about your grandpa. I listened this episode recently, and came here to check if any commentator mentions anything about World War 1 or 2, which is related with their family. As a reminder: you asked for it in the podcast. As you probably know Turkey kept its neutral status during WW2. So as a Turkish person, my family do not have any WW2 memories (except how hard those state of emergency years were) on the other hand WW1 was a really intense chain of events in Turkish history, since so many Turkish people were killed during the battles and even infants had to fight for the very reason after a while it had became “defending the mainland” for Turks. So here is the memory from the father of my grandfather (my grandfather): The Caucasus Campaign had been a real disaster for the Turks, since fighting with the Russians during winter conditions is always a bad idea and “the sick man of Europe” Ottoman army lacked equipment for such a formidable campaign. In a nutshell, so many Turks died because of the winter conditions and the situation became a piece of cake for the Tsardom of Russia. The father of my grandfather (my great-grandfather) was really lucky to stay alive and became a POW after the Russians surrounded them. As a POW he had to do whatever the Russians decided for him and in the end he was sold to an aristocratic Russian family and became a stableman for them. After a while that Russian family let him marry since they thought there was no turning back for him anymore. So he married a low-class serf woman, and they even had two babies! But then… the Tsardom of Russia also collapsed and the October Revolution stormed through all of Russia. This incident had serious effects on aristocratic families, which is not a surprise. So during all that mess, my great-grandpa managed to escape by boat and came back to Turkey again… Of course he had to leave his Russian wife and those 2 children there, because he had no any other choice. After he came to Turkey, he fought in the Turkish War of Independence and after that finally married a Turkish woman, which led to me, in the long run. So Luke, isn’t it weird? There are some people in Russia, who are my distant relatives in a way, and there is almost no way for us to find each other. I just wanted to share that story here, since I know many Russians listen your podcast and who knows… It’s a small world with weird coincidences. :) Thank you for all the podcasts!
Does that story sound familiar? If it does – get in touch!
Grammar: Nouns adjuncts, noun phrases, possessive ‘S’ and apostrophes – A question about the title of “An 80-Minute Ramble”
Yaron’s question about the title of episode 397 “An 80-minute ramble” Hi Luke, It’s been a while… good to have you back… I haven’t listened to this episode yet (I probably will in the evening) Anyhow…I have a small question: Should it be “An 80 minute Ramble” or “An 80 minutes Ramble”? I find that all the subjects with the “S” at the end of the word in English to be very confusing (You need to add “S”, with ‘ sign before/after the “S”, etc…. ) I would really appreciate ii if you could clarify it. Thanks, Yaron
It’s ‘an 80 minute ramble’ not ‘an 80 minuteS ramble’.
As you know, plural nouns (unless irregular) do take an ‘S’ – e.g. “I’m going to talk for about 80 minutes” but not in the case of ‘an 80 minute ramble’ because ’80 minute’ here is like an adjective for the word ‘ramble’ and adjectives in English aren’t pluralised.
What kind of ramble? An 80-minute ramble. ’80 minute’ is performing the function of an adjective.
More information en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noun_adjunct
That’s the theory, but it’s a bit abstract isn’t it? It might be easier to learn this when you consider all the common examples of this kind of structure, e.g.
a 5 star hotel
a 10 pound note
a 4 year old girl
a 5 minute walk
a 10 dollar fine
a 10,000 pound reward
a 9 hour flight
a 4 hour drive
10-year cave-aged cheddar cheese
This is either: ‘is’, ‘has’, possessive
Check this page from Oxford Dictionaries Online for all the details about how to use ‘S
Sebastian Hi Luke, I hope you’re all right. I’ve got a question: Where’s your Dad’s accent from or what kind is it? Is it posh? Thanks.
The ‘short’ answer:
My Dad speaks standard British RP (Received Pronunciation), also known as BBC English. This type of accent is generally associated with middle and upper-middle class people, probably university educated, from England, particularly the South East of England, but possibly from any other part of the UK too.
I think, by the standards of most Brits his accent is slightly posh because there aren’t many regional inflections in his voice, but I don’t think he is properly posh, like someone who went to Eton school for example.
What does ‘posh’ mean? (screenshot from Oxford Dictionaries Online – click it for more details)
You could say there are slight regional variations of RP (e.g. in Scotland, the north of England or Wales) But it’s not a truly posh accent, like the way the royal family speaks, or David Cameron speaks, for example.
I reckon you could break it down like this (and this is making it really simple)
Regional dialects (strong accents, particular words and phrases used – all specific to certain areas)
Regional accents (strong accents specific to certain areas)
Standard RP with slight regional variations (e.g. the way some vowel sounds are produced)
Standard RP from the South East of England
Heightened RP (like David Cameron)
Very heightened RP (like The Queen)
Depending on your social background, you’ll consider some accents to be more posh than others. Generally, if the accent is associated with a higher social class (based on the old model) than yours, you’ll say it’s posh.
Posh can be either positive or negative. It depends on your view of the situation.
I guess by a lot of people’s standards, my Dad sounds quite posh. For me he isn’t that posh. He’s just really neutral and clear. I think a truly ‘posh’ accent has different qualities to it.
To do justice to this subject I’ll need to do full episodes on the way different people speak.
This is the LEP Anecdote Competition Round 2. The last time I talked to you about this competition was in episode 387 when I let you know that all the anecdotes were available for you to listen to and vote for.
I got about 60 anecdotes in total and I posted them on the page for episode 387.
People visited the page, listened to the anecdotes and then voted for their favourites using the online poll.
The poll is now closed and I have counted the votes. In this episode I’m going to play you the top 10 anecdotes in terms of votes. You’ll hear them in just a few minutes, and I’d like you to visit the page for this episode and vote for your favourites.
You can find the page on my website in the archive, or by clicking the blue button under the email subscription form on every page. You can’t miss it.
To be honest I still haven’t decided what the prize will be for this competition – it’ll probably be a free mug or tote bag, we shall see. Truly exciting prizes are on offer here in this most prestigious of awards. Forget the Oscars, forget the Nobel Prize. This is the LEP Anecdote Competition – it’s a seriously big deal ladies and gentlemen. No doubt the world’s press will be lining up to interview the winner. Papparazzi will be following him or her everywhere. Haha etc. Anyway, it’s not about the winning, it’s about the taking part, right?
I know that this kind of episode is not for everyone and some of you don’t fancy listening to other listeners, but I still suggest that you check out these recordings because you might be pleasantly surprised. I found it entertaining, enlightening and quite heartwarming to hear the voices of all these people around the world who listen to my podcast. There are some great little stories in there – some funny, some scary, some touching. So, even if you’re a bit sceptical about episodes like this – just give it a try. You might be surprised.
Also, I’d like to remind you that the general spirit of this whole competition is to encourage my listeners in their quest to improve their English. That’s why I did the competition in the first place. I want to support my listeners in their English learning so I’d like to encourage everyone listening and commenting on the website to be positive and encouraging because after all this is all about helping people improve their English.
Just before I play you the ten anecdotes that have qualified for round two I’d just like to say a few things.
Well done to everyone who took part. It does require a bit of bravery to record your voice and then have everyone listen to you, especially if you’re doing it in a language which you’re learning. So if you sent me an anecdote – well done you! I think it’s important to push yourself out of your comfort zone a bit and challenge yourself. I’m really proud of the listeners who sent in their recordings. Only 10 people got through to the second round, but it’s no reflection on the standard of the other 50 or so recordings. Everyone did really well and I’m proud of you all.
A big thank you to everyone who took the time to listen to all the anecdotes and vote for their favourites. There were a lot of recordings in part 1 and it must have taken you a long time to listen to them all. Some people in particular went out of their way to listen to every single recording very carefully and then voted using well-selected judging criteria. Also, some people left individual feedback for every single anecdote. Thank you so much for the attention you gave and the care with which you wrote your comments. I’m really impressed. Thank you for taking part so enthusiastically.
I can’t go into lots of detail about the other recordings which didn’t get through to round 2 – there just isn’t enough time! However, you can still go to the page for episode 387 and read the various comments which you can find there.
I would like to give honourable mentions to everyone, but I’ll specifically mention just a couple of recordings which stuck in my mind.
Jane from Taiwan – she managed to pluck up the courage to escape from a burning building because she was so keen to listen to the next episode of LEP. So, LEP saved Jane’s life! Ha ha!
Akane from Japan – this recording made me laugh a lot. The bit where you sprayed bathroom cleaner all over the cockroach and then it died was really disgusting and it made me laugh out loud!
That’s just a couple of examples. I can’t go into detail about all the other entries because there isn’t time, but go and check out the comments under episode 387 there are some lovely bits of feedback there.
Here are a few rules for round 2
You can vote for as many anecdotes as you like, but you can only vote once.
So listen to this episode and make a note of the anecdotes you like before visiting the page and casting your vote.
It’s very simple to vote. Just use the interactive poll on the page for this episode. It might not work very well on a mobile device but it should work fine on a desktop, laptop or tablet.
Voting closes on Sunday 27 November at 12 midnight, CET.
Then the votes will be counted and the winner will be announced later.
Please please please vote! It will make the competition more fun. It’s very simple to do.
Remember as you listen to these stories that I asked the listeners to tell the stories without reading from a script.
I will let you decide the criteria for your judging – grammar, vocabulary, pronunciation or just the general feeling you get from listening – did you enjoy it? How did it make you feel?
That’s all I have to say. So now, let’s listen to the anecdotes in no particular order.
You can listen to individual anecdotes again below
Kristina from Russia – A story about when Kristina had a very stressful, embarrassing and thrilling experience of working as a translator for a famous film director.
Jose from Spain – Talking about a weird thing that happened when he was a child in the 80s when he was pulled over by a dodgy guy who might have been posing as a police officer. Who was he? Was he really a cop or not? It’s a bit creepy.
Shujaat from Pakistan – here’s a story about how Shujaat experienced a shooting, the sound of guns being fired and bullets flying from a law court near his college, and then a blast – the sound of a big explosion that he managed to avoid thanks to a man who saved his life. Thankfully Shujaat managed to escape, but it must have been frightening.
Saaya from Japan – Talking about how a couple of embarrassing experiences and then a coincidence made her realise that she really does take after her father.
Vasily from Tashkent The story of how he met his wife, accompanied by himself playing the accordion.
Weija Wang from China – How his female friend totally took him by surprise by telling him she had fallen in love with him, but was it really true?
Elena from Russia – A nightmare experience that happened one night when Elena lost a girl called Julia, the daughter of her friend. When Julia didn’t come back from a night out at the disco Elena was worried sick and searched all around town in the middle of the night and even nearly got arrested by the police. I think both Elena and Julia learned a few lessons that night!
Frankie from Sicily, Italy – His story about how he went on an adventure with a friend and was threatened by a scary man with a shotgun and nearly got stuck in quicksand!
Zdenek from Czech Republic – a lesson learned on the London underground about how to use or not to use the word ‘please’ in English, and why people generally don’t talk to each other on public transport in London.
Marla from Germany – Her story of a close encounter with London’s most amazing detective!
journalists – /ɜː/ not /ɔː/
people that are unknown – strangers
strangers = people you don’t know
foreigners = people from another country
go by foot – go on foot
bullet fire – gunfire
running like they were saving their lives – running for their lives
I think I may fall in love with you – I think I may have fallen in love with you, or I think I may be falling in love with you
the only I could do – the only thing I could do
She told that Julia went home – she told me that Julia had gone home, or she said that Julia had gone home
Sand that sucks you in = quicksand
My family and me visited Wales – my family and I visited Wales
Voting is now open in the first round of the LEP Anecdote Competition. You can listen to all the anecdotes on the page for this episode and vote for your favourites using a simple poll. I’ll give you the full details and instructions in this episode. I’m also going to talk about the results of the podcast survey I did recently and a couple of other things, including the top countries for LEP this week.
To listen to the anecdotes like a podcast on your phone just copy the RSS link above and paste it into the search function on your podcasting software, then subscribe.
There are quite a few entries there. I know that’s rather a lot to for you (and me) to listen to. I hope do you listen to them all! You probably can’t listen to them all in one sitting, so I suggest you visit a few times. In any case, regardless of the number of listens and votes each anecdote receives, I will also have a deciding influence on who gets through to the next round. The number of votes is the most important factor, but as a judge of the competition I also will give kudos points to certain entries if I think it’s necessary. In the end, we’ll whittle down the 56 entries to just 10 entries for the next round.
How do you find the page for this episode?
If you’ve subscribed to the mailing list, an email should automatically arrive in your inbox later today. It might already be there. Just click the link and bob’s your uncle. It works best on a computer. The mobile theme of my website doesn’t work very well I’m afraid.
You can vote for as many anecdotes as you like. Repeat votes are allowed but you can’t vote for yourself more than once.
Voting will close in about 3 weeks, on the 21st October.
Then the votes will be counted and the top 10 anecdotes will go through to round 2.
Round 2 will be an episode of the podcast. I’ll play the top 10 anecdotes and then there will be another round of voting.
The winner will either win some LEP merchandise or will be briefly interviewed by me on the podcast. I might ask some more questions about the story, or ask questions any listeners have sent in.
So, check out the page for this episode, have a listen and vote for your favourites.
You are now judges and it’s completely up to you to choose your judging criteria. You could think about the English being used, the structure of the anecdote, whether the person followed all my rules, whether the person followed my advice or if they did it in a more original way, or perhaps most importantly: How much did you enjoy listening to it. That’s probably the best way of judging it.
All the recordings are displayed in a playlist on my site and the voting poll is available there too.
Catherine Bear Luke, do the survey results meet your expectations? Or are you surprised at some points? I hope that folks have answered just once (from one device) — so that you could get an accurate picture. But maybe you don’t mind. Thanks, Cat
Results of the survey
They show that listeners prefer these types:
When I talk about a subject at length, e.g. culture, history, topics which I know about
When I teach vocabulary
When I interview someone
When I teach grammar
Everything else gets around the same number of votes.
At the bottom of the list there are these ones: improvised stories (e.g. the Pink Gorilla story – what a pity), responding to messages from listeners, listener competitions!
Well, sorry to disappoint you but 1. I enjoy doing the improvised stories and I’ll keep doing them! 2. We’re in the middle of a listener competition!
I understand why listener competitions are not at the top of the list – you want to hear me or other native speakers speaking English. But I have my own reasons for doing these competitions and I’ll still do them from time to time.
The results are a little bit misleading when you look at them like a bar chart. It appears that some of the bars in the chart are quite short and therefore not very popular. But if you look at the results like a pie chart it’s quite clear that the preferences of the audience are very evenly spread out.
Each slice of the pie is actually quite similar in size. Everyone seems to have different preferences. It’s not like one single episode type is vastly more popular than all the others. It just goes to show that you can’t please all the people all the time and it would be unwise for me to try to do that.
In the end it’s my podcast and I’ll do whatever I want and whatever I think is right based on my judgement and experience. But it’s good to get some feedback and I will aim to produce more of the kinds of episodes that everyone seems to like, while also satisfying my own inspiration.
Like, sometimes I just fancy doing something totally different and unusual, based on what is appealing to me at any given moment. Sometimes it’s English language related and sometimes it’s topic related, and I think that’s what keeps me interested in the project as a whole, that I can do exactly whatever I want, unlike in a classroom situation, and I reckon that is what makes the podcast a bit original or at least unexpected sometimes. Imagine for example if I just stuck to a sort of conservative selection of generic topics with no surprises. It would be boring if it was always the same thing again and again so I will mix it up a bit, and I will continue to experiment with episodes, like improvised stories if I feel like it.
In the end I think it’s about creating something authentic and hopefully enjoyable to listen to, whatever form that takes and whatever subject I’m talking about.
UKRAINE – Здравствуйте (zdrazdoitchyeah!) (sorry, I don’t know it in Ukranian)
GERMANY – Hallo!
UNITED STATES – What’s up guys? How y’all doing? Hi there you guys!
BRAZIL – Olá (oh laa!)
AUSTRALIA – G’day!
SWITZERLAND – Hallo! or Salut!
FRANCE – Salut!
TURKEY – Merhaba (mare haba)
TAIWAN – 你好 (ni how!)
VIETNAM – chào bạn (ciao ban!)
THAILAND – สวัสดี (sa bai dee kup!)
MEXICO – Hola!
Transcript collaboration team
Comedy shows in Paris
Like my FB page to get updates, or check “Comedy Shows” on my website.
Meeting of Japanese LEPsters in Tokyo
Name: Hideki Kanazawa
Message: Hello Luke, how are you?
As I said before, we had the very first meeting today! Five people came and we talked about how your podcast is amazing. We also shared a lot information mainly about English.
It was really fun and amazing. We are going to hold another meeting soon.
We also took photos.
Thank you again for supporting my idea, I really appreciate it. Cheers.
Only 5 people – but it’s quality not quantity! Nice one for getting together, it looks like you had a good time.
I’m hoping to come to Japan in April. This is a place that my wife and I have wanted to visit for ages. I used to live there so I want to revisit and show her everything, and she’s just slightly obsessed with all things Japanese. Perhaps I can arrange a gig or an event of some kind if we manage to save money to come. We’ll see.
As for my other plans for doing events in other places, that idea is on hold at the moment because I’m working on another project which I’ve been putting off for ages – a business English online course. That’s my priority and I’ve got to finish that before starting other things.
This is just a ‘quick’ message from me to you about a podcast survey on the website, a reminder of the anecdote competition, a new video I’ve made about the Russian joke and some more rambling about things like The Beatles and conspiracy theories. The next ‘proper’ episode will be uploaded in a few days.
I’ve had this survey on my website for about a year but I am sure there are lots of people who haven’t taken it. So please visit the page and take the survey. It’ll take just one minute and will help me to understand what kind of episodes you like to hear on the podcast.
I’ve already had about 20 entries. Where’s everybody else? I expect a lot of you are a bit put off by the prospect of being on the podcast, or you can’t think of something. Well, let me remind you of these things: It’s an anecdote party, right? So, bring some cake to the party! Don’t come empty handed! Have a little think about something that’s happened to you and record it! If you want inspiration, just go back to episode 379. If you’re planning to send me something but haven’t done it yet, hurry up because you’re running out of time.
Russian Joke Video
More Ian Moore
The number of white men on the podcast
Podcast feedback – what do you like? What do you want more of? What do you want less of?
OK listeners, it’s competition time again on the podcast. This time the competition is all about anecdotes. I did an episode about anecdotes recently. It was number 372. In that one I talked about anecdotes and why it’s important to have a few anecdotes that you can tell in English. I think they’re pretty important and fun. I also gave you some tips on how to tell good anecdotes, and you listened to a few genuine anecdotes from my Mum, my Dad and my brother.
I love stories, especially true ones and I love hearing about people’s experiences. I’m sure that loads of you out there have had some pretty cool experiences too and that there are some lovely little anecdotes just waiting to be told.
So that’s why I’m using anecdotes as the basis of this competition.
I want you to send me your anecdotes. That should be clear.
Now, the last time I launched a competition featuring the voices of my listeners I got a lot of recordings and it ended up being about 8 episodes, which was awesome, but that was quite a lot. I understand that not all of you want to listen to the voices of listeners – you come here to listen to me, or my guests. But it’s still great to have some contributions from listeners, just not too many. So this time I’m going to do it slightly differently. There will be stages, a bit like the World Cup, so that I can filter out some of the competition entries that I get and just present the cream of the crop in an episode of the podcast. I’ll tell you more about the stages and how this will work in a minute. The main thing I want to do now is to strongly encourage you to send me your anecdotes. So, please send me your anecdotes!!!
But first I should say this – don’t worry, your anecdote does not have to be perfect or anything! I promise – it doesn’t have to be perfect, just tell us a little story about yourself – that’s all you have to do. We;re going to have a little anecdote party and everyone has to bring a little anecdote. You know the way that when you’re invited to a party you have to bring cake, or drinks, or crisps. Well, this is just like that except that you have to bring an anecdote. It doesn’t have to be amazing, it just has to fill up the table, ok, and then we can have an anecdote party! But the party will not happen unless you send me that little story you have, so do it! But remember – no pressure, just enjoy yourself.
Now, I constantly tell you anecdotes about my life on this podcast. I do it all the time and I hope you enjoy them. Now, I’ve done a lot of sharing on the podcast and so it’s time for you to share back with your stories. I’m fed up of hearing my own stories. Now I want to hear about your experiences! We’re having an anecdote party and you’re all invited!
I’m presenting this as a competition, but it’s not about the winning, it’s about the taking part. It’s about filling up that table with anecdote cake so we can stand around with cake and drinks and have an anecdote party. So, if you’ve got a personal experience you can tell us about, record it and send it to me! In this episode I’m going to tell you how to do that, and give you some tips and inspiration for your anecdotes.
First, the rules of the competition. Any half-decent competition has rules, so here are the rules for this one.
1. Record an anecdote and send it to me! Duh! “What’s an anecdote?” you might be asking. It’s a little personal story, told in a social situation. It’s a story about something that happened to you once in your life. For example, it could be a dangerous experience, a funny moment, an embarrassing thing that happened, a surprising thing, an accident, a mystery, a meeting with a person, a run-in with the police or just a misunderstanding. We all have little stories like this from our lives – think about it, what’s a thing that has happened to you – tell us the story of that! Again – it doesn’t have to be perfect! No pressure, just enjoy yourself.
2. Your recording must be no longer than 5 minutes! 5 minutes maximum. Please keep to this rule. Generally anecdotes shouldn’t go on too long (although I am guilty of spinning out my anecdotes quite a lot – for example the hot bath story I told recently). But also, if I get too many anecdotes it will all last too long. 5 minutes max. Feel free to do less than 5 as well. If your anecdote is 2.5 minutes – that’s great! Just don’t go over 5 mins.
3. Your story should be true, but you can exaggerate a bit in order to make it entertaining, that’s normal.
4. Send your anecdotes by email to firstname.lastname@example.org – or simply go to my website and send me a voicemail using the tab on the right side. You’ll just need to have your microphone connected. If you don’t have a microphone, just use your smartphone to record a voice memo and send it.
5. Closing date for the competition: 5 October (National Teachers Day in the UK)
6. Then round 1 begins. In round one I will publish all the anecdotes on my website. I’m not going to play them in an episode of the podcast at this stage, I’ll just publish them on the website so you can listen to them there.
So, the anecdotes will be published on the website, you will be able to go and listen to them all, and vote for your favourite.
Then I’ll count up the votes and the top 10 anecdotes will make it through to round 2.
7. In round 2 I will publish the top 10 anecdotes in an episode of the podcast and then everyone can listen, and vote for their favourites by using a poll on the website. That way, only 10 anecdotes are actually played on the podcast.
8. After some more voting time I will count the votes. The winner will be interviewed on the podcast, or will get a gift – I haven’t quite decided yet (remember it’s not about the winning, it’s about the taking part). IN any case, the winner will get the glory of being the LEP Anecdote Master, or LEPAM!
9. Don’t read from a script!
Basically – maximum 5 minutes, true story, send your recordings to me, then several stages of voting, 10 best anecdotes and a winner at the end!
Use a decent microphone. Most iPhones or smartphones have good mics these days.
Try to be in fairly quiet surroundings. Speak closely into the mic.
Practise your anecdote a few times (you could do this with your italki teacher if you like), but always record the first time you tell it. Sometimes the first time is just naturally the best! But then practise it a bit and record it again. Decide which one is best.
Try to keep it spontaneous! So, don’t read it from a script. You should avoid that habit. It’s better if you learn how to say the anecdote without reading it directly from a script.
It doesn’t matter if it’s not word for word perfect, just focus on getting across certain main ideas. If you read from a script it might be obvious, and it tends to sound fake and it’s not so appealing. It immediately will sound more robotic. Make your speech spontaneous, trust me. So no reading from a script.
I have the right to use or not use any recordings I want.
How to tell a good anecdote
Here’s a reminder of my tips from episode 372. You could consider these when you record your anecdote, or if you prefer you can just completely ignore these tips and do it your own way! Be an individual!
First: don’t feel any pressure, and just enjoy yourself. You could forget all the other tips and focus on that – it’s the most important thing. Forget about everything else and just enjoy telling us your little story!
Here are the other rules which you could just ignore to be honest:
1. Don’t get stuck in the details. Just tell us the events and situations which are necessary to show us how you felt. If you get stuck in the details just say “anyway” and move on.
2. Think about the feelings you’re trying to convey, and how they will affect the way you tell the story. Are you expressing fear, surprise, weirdness, luck, sadness, humour, relief, happiness? Let that feeling come through in your storytelling.
3. Use past tenses in the right combination – past simple, past continuous and past perfect. But to be honest, it’s good to keep it simple so you can just use past simple for the entire thing if you like (for example: my brother’s anecdote).
4. Introduce your story with a sentence like “This is a story about how…” and try to set the context of the story by saying something like “This happened when I was…”
5. Give the story an ending, for example, you can just say “And that’s what happened!” or “And that’s it!” or “And that’s why …” (include something you always or never do, a piece of advice or a lesson you learned, for example)
6. If possible, try to explain what that story means to you or what you learned from it.
That’s it in terms of rules and tips. Now it is over to you.
As I said earlier, even though I’ve given you advice on how to make a good anecdote, the first thing to remember is that you shouldn’t feel any pressure, and you should just enjoy yourself! Make sure you achieve that first, before you worry about any of the other things! No pressure and just enjoy yourself! I can’t wait to hear your stories.
I know what you’re thinking
You’re thinking – I’d quite like to take part in this. I’ve got an anecdote I could tell. I think I’m going to take part in this. I’m going to send a story to Luke.
Great! If you are thinking that – then great! But just make sure you do it! Don’t procrastinate. Don’t think: “Oh, I’ll do that later”. Do something now! just send me a little story, I’m dying to hear from you. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Your story doesn’t have to be the best in the world. We’re just having an anecdote party and everyone has to bring some anecdote cake or the party won’t work! I’m inviting you, so bring some cake it’s the least you can do!
Think of it like this: your anecdote will be one of a number of stories from my listeners and the overall effect will be so cool that it doesn’t matter if each story on its own is not individually amazing. It doesn’t have to be amazing. So, if you’re even considering sending my something, let me encourage you to definitely do it, and do it sooner rather than later!
Remember: No pressure, and just enjoy yourself!
Here are some questions to give you inspiration:
Can you think of something relating to one of these points?
– an embarrassing thing that happened to you
– a misunderstanding
– a weird person you met
– a famous person you met
– something you found which you still have
– how you met your best friend/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife
– an accident you had
– a scar you’ve got
– a time you got into trouble
– a time you thought you were going to die!
– a time you won something
– something that happened to you while travelling
– an animal-related experience
– something funny that happened in your family
– something that always happens to you, regularly
– a misunderstanding that happened relating to language or culture
– something that happened to you at work
– something that happened in an English lesson
– something that happened as a result of listening to LEP
– something that happened to you while you were listening to LEP
– the worst/weirdest date you ever had
– the worst/weirdest job interview you ever had
– anything else!
Just remember, no pressure and just enjoy yourself!
Send your anecdotes (5 mins max) to email@example.com or just leave me a voice mail using the tab on my website.
I can’t wait to hear your stupid, terrible, brilliant, funny, boring, confusing and fascinating anecdotes!
Remember the closing date is: 5 October (UK Teachers Day) and please – feel no pressure, relax and just enjoy yourself.
I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Let’s have an anecdote party!
Before we go, there’s a bit of time – so let’s listen to a few little anecdotes that I found online.
Louis CK – Punching a dog in the face to save its life
Essentially this is a story about how Louis’ dog ate chocolate. If dogs eat dark chocolate it can kill them because they lack an enzyme to deal with it. So, Louis had to rush to the pharmacy to get hydrogen peroxide and make the dog drink it, but it’s quite difficult to make a dog eat hydrogen peroxide in order to make it vomit all the chocolate out of its belly. In the end he had to wrestle with the dog and force it to drink the chemical. I love the way Louis tells the story, particularly the way he gives a voice to the dog and explains the emotional motivations of the dog, and highlights the irony of having to attack the dog in order to save it. Don’t worry – your anecdote doesn’t have to be as good as this, but we can learn about story telling from Louis!
Carlo Rota – Meeting Freddie Mercury from Queen
This one is a great little story, but it’s also interesting to hear how Carlo (an Italian-Canadian actor, born in England) uses present tenses, not past tenses, to make his story more engaging. We do this sometimes, although I think you should learn how to use all the right past tenses before you break the rules and use present tenses to tell a story.
A Red Chair story from the Graham Norton about a ‘happy’ donkey
The Graham Norton show is a very popular entertainment chat show on the BBC presented by a comedian called Graham Norton. One of the features on the show is the Red Chair. What happens is that any member of the audience who has a good anecdote is invited to sit in the chair and tell their story. This one is by a guy called Mohammed who went on holiday as a child and saw a donkey, who was, let’s say, feeling quite happy. The other guests on this show were Ricky Gervais and Johnny Depp – you might hear them making comments and laughing in the background.
So, that’s some inspiration and entertainment. Now, get thinking about your anecdotes and send them to me. You’ve got until UK national teachers’ day – 5 October.
In this episode the results & winners of the LEP photo competition are announced, and – it’s the 7th birthday of Luke’s English Podcast! This episode is long but you don’t have to listen to it in one go. You can listen, pause, do something else, listen later and so on. Enjoy!
Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please because the results of the LEP photo competition are here. Try to contain your excitement. I know we’ve all been waiting for weeks with bated breath to know who has won this most prestigious of prizes, but you can now relax and breathe normally because the wait is over! Yes, in this episode I’m going to give you the results of the photo competition. I’ll tell you the winners and the runners up, I’ll describe the winning photos in some detail including my thoughts and feelings about them, and later in the episdoe I’m going to ramble on about some other stuff.
Also, this is the 7th birthday of my podcast!
Also, I’ve just realised that this is the 7th birthday of LEP! It’s been almost exactly 7 years since I uploaded the very first episode of Luke’s English Podcast. So, this is not just the photo competition episode but also the 7th birthday of Luke’s English Podcast too! Wow. Has it been 7 years? 7 years of my life have gone into this project. I have put a huge amount of time and energy into this over the years and I’ve loved every moment of it. Time flies doesn’t it. Yes it does. I’ll talk more of birthday-related things later, but if you’re feeling like you want to congratulate the podcast, celebrate the birthday, send me a card or a gift, or say thank you for my work or something like that, and you’re wondering what the appropriate thing to do is – well, here are some suggestions:
leave a lovely comment on the website explaining briefly what LEP means to you. It’s always nice to read your feedback and it helps the podcast because new visitors will see that I have an active, engaged, positive audience and that the podcast is good. It’ll help me reach a wider audience.
give the podcast a review on iTunes. This is really important actually – lots and lots of new people come to my podcast through iTunes and many of them will look at the reviews. So, if you enjoy this podcast and you feel it’s made a difference to your English, leave me a good review on iTunes. Lots of other people will see your review and it will really make a difference to the reputation of the podcast. Just go to itunes.apple.com/fr/podcast/lukes-english-podcast-learn/id312059190?l=en&mt=2 , view the podcast in iTunes and leave your review.
the most sincere way to say thanks is to leave me a donation via paypal. You should be able to find a button on every page of the website that says DONATE. This is the most sincere way you can thank me, because it’s like an investment in the podcast. Any contribution you make will support the podcast directly because it’ll help me to cover costs, such as website hosting and other payments, and because it just means I can do things like buy my wife lunch or something, and that’s important for my quality of life and my energy, which then feeds back into the podcast.
There will be more birthday celebrations later but first let’s get back to the photo competition, and here is just a quick reminder of what’s up for grabs in terms of prizes (this is where things get very dramatic and exciting – the tension is almost palpable isn’t it?!) First place will get two prizes: an LEP mug and another gift of the winner’s choice (so, another mug, a t-shirt, a pad or a tote bag), the two runners-up will receive one prize: an LEP mug each, and then there’s a surprise 4th prize, in a category that I’ve just added, for the winner of the Luke’s Choice Award (a gift of the winner’s choice from the gift shop).
I know some of you might be listening to this thinking – “What competition?” “What’s he talking about?” If that’s the case it probably means you haven’t listened to episodes 313-327 and so you’re blissfully unaware of this photo competition. Either that or you just forgot about it, or you had your memory wiped by Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones or something. So, if you don’t remember, go back to episode 313 and 327 to remind yourselves of this competition and to find out more details.
Hey, don’t skip this episode, alright?
Some of you might also be thinking, “Oh, very good Luke, very good, but I might skip this episode because I’m not involved in the competition because I didn’t send a photo and I didn’t vote and yada yada yada”. First of all I should say that I would be deeply shocked and saddened if you skipped an episode. I mean really. It would upset me very much and it would be a huge trauma for me. I might have to go and have a lie down or a cup of tea, just to get over the emotional impact of knowing that you’d decided not to listen. In fact, I’m feeling very emotional about it right now just thinking about that… But if it makes a difference to you I’d like to say – I do hope you stay and listen, because I think there are some good things to be gained from listening to this, and I’ve got some biscuits here. Don’t you want a biscuit? Anyway, this episode is not just about announcing the winners, but it’s also about describing some of the popular photos using words, in English, and sharing thoughts and feelings with the LEP community.
Yes, I will be describing and commenting on the photos during the episode – so you’ll hear some descriptive language. I suggest you check the page for this episode to see the pics I’m talking about. Also, in episode 327 I taught you some very useful little phrases and techniques for describing pictures, which should be very important if you’re taking a Cambridge exam, or if you’d like to learn some useful little phrases and techniques for describing pictures. So, that’s back in episode 327.
Summarising the Competition
Just in case you don’t know, or you’ve forgotten or something, let me quickly sum up the competition again.
Some time late last year I opened up this new contest. I got the idea originally from a Long Term Lepster (LTL) called Guillaume who suggested it to me ages ago by email. He said, “Hey why don’t you do a competition in which you ask your listeners to send you photos of them listening in different situations, and you could share the photos on your website and people could vote for their favourites, and the winner could get a prize like an LEP mug or t-shirt or something?” and I thought, hmm, a competition in which my listeners send me photos of them listening in different locations and I could share the photos on my website and people could vote for their favourites, and the winner could get a prize like an LEP mug or t-shirt or something, that’s not a bad idea! And so I decided to do just that, and in episode 313 ( I think) I said, “I’m launching a competition in which you my listeners can send me photos of you listening in different locations and I’ll share the photos on my website and people can vote for their favourites and the winner could win a prize like an LEP mug or a t-shirt or something. All you have to do is take photos of yourself listening in different situations and I can share them on my website and everyone can vote for their favourite ones, and the winner could win a prize like an LEP mug or a t-shirt or something. What do you think?”
And people said “What? Sorry, can you repeat the sentence?”
Most people seemed up for the competition, which was nice.
There was just one condition , I said – “you have to include something that proves that you’re listening. So, that could be some headphones in the pic, or an LEP logo, or something like that.”
And that’s exactly what happened, everyone sent me pictures of themselves listening in different situations and I shared them on the page for episode 327 and then everyone voted for their favourite ones. I say, everyone – I actually don’t mean everyone – not everyone in the world. I didn’t get 7.125 billion votes, and not even everyone who listens to this podcast voted. In fact, just a small fraction of my listeners voted – which means that there’s a good chance that you, listening to this right now, yes you, the one with the ears – there’s a good chance that you didn’t take part in this at all. And I’d like to ask you why not?? What were you doing? Did you have something better to do? I can’t imagine what could be more important than voting in this competition! Except maybe writing a report for work or something – in fact there might be lots of things that stopped you from voting maybe you were going food shopping to buy food to keep you and your family alive, maybe you were cooking dinner and you couldn’t vote, eating dinner, feeding dinner to your family or friends, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, digesting food (I can’t vote I’m busy digesting), washing clothes, wearing clothes (sorry, I couldn’t vote, I was too busy wearing clothes), taking your clothes off in the evening – that’s time consuming, sleeping, being woken up by your alarm, putting your alarm on snooze, going back to sleep again, being woken up by your alarm again, putting it on snooze again, going back to sleep again, being woken up by the alarm AGAIN, and putting it on snooze AGAIN, then suddenly realising that you’re really late, smashing the alarm with a hammer, jumping out of bed, putting your clothes back on, having a shower, changing your clothes because they’re all wet, going to the toilet, taking another shower, cancelling 3rd world poverty, making coffee, leaking sensitive legal documents to the media that reveal the hoarding of massive amounts of secret money by a law firm based in Panama as part of a huge multinational tax avoidance scheme involving the leaders of many developed countries and various semi-legal tax avoidance schemes in offshore accounts based in tax-havens all over the world revealing incredible levels of alleged corruption at the highest level, eating a banana, going to work. You know, just the usual daily chores that take up our time. Maybe you were doing one of those things, and you couldn’t vote in the competition. I understand! That’s fine! I think that most people for one reason or another decided not to take part in the competition, and probably said to themselves – “Who? Me? Send pictures of myself listening in different situations so that Luke can share them on his website and then people can vote for their favourite pictures and the winner could win a prize like an LEP mug or a t-shirt or something? That sounds nice, but sorry Luke I’ve got a lot on my plate at the moment – I’ve got a big meeting with the boss this morning, and I’m trying to learn phrasal verbs, I’ve got to shred a few documents at the Panamanian law firm where I work and I have a conference call between with David Cameron, Vladimir Putin and some other world leaders that I have to attend to, and I have to eat these biscuits and I’ve got to escape from this pink gorilla that’s chasing me and I’m trying to learn the phonemic script to improve my English pronunciation… so I can’t do it I’m afraid, I can’t vote – but carry on anyway, it sounds like a lovely plan.”
Right. Are you following this?
I’m just saying that most people didn’t get involved in the voting, but that’s totally fine of course, and in a way it’s perfect because if 7.125 billion people had voted and sent me photos, I would have been impossibly busy over the last few weeks and my website would have crashed and so on… So, all’s well that ends well.
Total number of votes and photos? In fact I received a grand total of about 115 photos and then a total of about 270 votes.
Why did I do the comp?
I wanted to see things from your point of view a bit. Obviously, I do these podcasts on my own, mostly. Sometimes I’m joined by other people, which is lovely. But usually I just sit here on own (sad, lonely music?), I record episodes, publish them, read comments from some of you, and watch the download numbers go up and up and I think – who are all these people? Where are they? What are they doing? What are they thinking? It turns out, you’re all just normal human beings (which shouldn’t be a surprise) – I mean, you’re all normal people (I say normal, of course you’re all extraordinary) but seriously, you’re ordinary people just going about your lives in different countries, in different weather conditions, in different environments and you find time to listen to this podcast while you’re doing it. There’s a pretty diverse range of people out there in different situations, but the cool thing is that you’re all united by the fact that you listen to this podcast. You’re united by other things too of course, like the fact that you’ve all got legs (although, saying that I realise that some of you might not have legs of course and that’s great) or you’re united by the fact that you live on earth and other things, like that you need to drink water regularly, breathe air, eat food, go to the loo sometimes, we’re all united by these things, you probably like eating good food – who doesn’t? and you probably don’t like it when you have a stone in your shoe, it’s annoying when your neighbours play loud music all night, sometimes you run out of sugar or milk or, err, rice, and you get angry, like “Why don’t we have any sugar left!? Oh god!!!” or you find it embarrassing when you drop something in public or you trip over in the street and you’d love to get more sleep in the mornings. Yes, you’re all united by those things, but you’re also united by the fact that you all listen to this podcast.
In all seriousness, I can’t really overstate how amazing that is. It’s amazing. It is amazing. It’s amAAAAYzing. OK? Thanks for listening and thanks for your photos & votes.
But really, I was quite surprised at what a fun and even touching experience it was to look at all the photos that were sent. Did you check out the page for 327? It was a genuinely lovely experience, that was just a little bit heartwarming. Unless you’re a steel-hearted terminator of a person, who doesn’t let emotion defrost the edges of your frozen heart, I imagine that you felt it to be quite sweet as well, to look at all these pics of people around the world.
Not all the photos were outstanding works of photographic genius of course. In fact many of them were probably taken right at the moment that you were listening to episode 313 when I said “just take a pic while you’re listening – just take a pic of whatever you can see right now” and that’s exactly what a lot of you did – so there are some photos of computer screens, or mobile phones, or views from car or bus windows and stuff, but these pictures do have interesting details in the background or on the edges of the frame – just revealing little things that show us the things we have in common but also differences like which part of the world you’re in, or what your life is like – for example, the weather, the landscape, your working environment, other people we can see in the pictures, public spaces, etc.
Luke gets deep and meaningful
I’d like to take this opportunity to get deep and meaningful now and say some profound things about what your contribution to this photo competition means to me personally, and the way it represents something special as we move through life in this crazy world we call ‘earth’, struggling to make sense of what’s going on around us and searching for some oasis of calm and some sincere sentiments outside the usual banal nonsense we are exposed to in the media and in advertising. So, here’s some profundity for you.
So here we are, all living on this planet. We all lead these separate lives in different places with our own unique problems, stresses, responsibilities etc, but at the end of the day when we put our heads down to go to sleep, or when we lose a sock in the washing machine, or when we put our headphones on to listen to LEP, aren’t we all the same in some ways? We essentially care about the same things, don’t we? Despite being in different countries, divided by political boundaries, geo-cultural distinctions, ethnic and religious differences, we are all connected. We live pretty similar lives and we share the world together (cheesy). Things we do, even small things, affect the world around us, and affect other people’s lives – even people we can’t see might be inadvertently affected by our actions in some way, and what’s good for other people is good for the world ultimately is good for us too. You know, it’s like what Cypress Hill said – “What goes around comes around”. (Cypress Hill – “What go around come around!” – I couldn’t have said it better myself, except that it’s “what goES around comeS around”, but other than that, well done Cypress Hill.)
OK this might sound bit cheesy and naive but I think it’s true, and what I’m trying to say is that it’s stupid to divide ourselves up into little groups and isolate from each other, alienate people, stigmatise or scapegoat people and point the finger at others for being different. We should celebrate our differences, like our different customs and behaviour but we shouldn’t let those differences drag us into fighting each other on behalf of people who just care about their own power. Yeah man. Deep. OK, that was a cheesy and slightly preachy message there, but there it is. I think there’s a place for a little bit of cheese and maybe the odd bit of preachiness on this podcast sometimes because I enjoy the fact that my podcast is something that crosses borders and I think these things need to be said. It’s nice. If you don’t agree that we’re all interconnected in complex ways and that humans all basically deserve to be treated with respect, and that we have more things in common than differences – if you don’t agree with me, then leave your comments on the webpage unless you’re too busy shredding documents in an office somewhere.
So, back to the photos
Seeing people’s working lives – it’s awesome to observe the different types of work that my listeners do, and there are some interesting things in there, like Julia from Russia who works with gold for example. Multitasking – it’s great to see so many people managing not just to listen to the podcast but also to do other things at the same time – like playing the piano, cooking, driving or in some cases answering the call of nature – (that means going to the toilet – yes I got a couple of pics of people listening in the loo). Good work (not for the toilet thing – I’m not judging you based on your performance in the toilet) but good work for the multitasking if that’s how you listen to this podcast! Babies listening – There are a couple of little babies (newborn ones) listening too, which I do think is a good way to get the kids started on English. I wonder what this new generation will be like in English – the generation who will grow up with access to English online. It’s possible to raise kids with good English if you just let them interact with it from an early age. It’ll definitely help. Obviously, you should speak to them and get them to speak to you in English too. Hunter in Taiwan – I’m happy to see he’s smiling while listening to the podcast! I know that some of my episodes are really long. I’ve spoken about how I think that’s good for your English. But I realise that your time is precious and I think it’s just brilliant that you choose to spend that time listening to this. So, as ever – thank you for devoting your time to this podcast. I’m glad my work is appreciated.
Obviously it’s a free podcast and I do this in my free-time so really it’s you who should be thanking me – writing me heartfelt messages filled with praise and admiration, sending me generous donations and and religiously recommending my podcast to every single person you meet (literally everyone) but nevertheless, thank you for devoting your time to LEP. In fact, joking aside, many of those things are true – I really do get regular messages from my listeners telling me how appreciative they are. In fact, you may have sent me an email or written a comment or something saying thank you and I appreciate that. Your feedback is great.
Also, congratulations to you for having the sense to listen to a podcast to improve your English, because in my professional opinion it’s a very good thing for you to do and it should give you an edge over other people who don’t do it. Obviously you should also do other practice as well, to activate your English including doing plenty of speaking if you can find ways to do that. But, you know, congrats for adding an English language podcast to your lifestyle. It’s BOUND to have an impact on your English.
So, now that I’ve rambled on about the podcast for a while let me now ANNOUNCE THE WINNERS of the competition and DESCRIBE THE PHOTOS in more detail. (why did I put those words in CAPITALS? …I don’t know – it just seemed more EMPHATIC!)
PHOTO COMP – RESULTS
4 prizes: 2 runners up, the winner, and the Luke’s Choice Award.
RUNNERS-UP (a mug each)
RUNNER UP (3rd place)Walter near Milan in Italy – highest listener? 20 votes.
Walter near Milan in Italy – highest listener?
Thoughts: This is simply an amazing view and it looks like the perfect place to listen to the podcast. Walking in the mountains must be invigorating and energising, and I hope you also get some mental stimulation from the podcast while you’re doing it. I also like the composition of the photo.
RUNNER UP (2nd place)
Photo title: Sergio’s illustration of me as a Jedi in training / Sergio Tellez LEP JEDI and artist! Total = 22 votes
Sergio Tellez LEP JEDI and artist! He decided to draw a picture of me as a Jedi in training! :D I’m Luke Skywalker, finally.
Here’s a closer look at that illustration:
Note: Just describe the photo. What’s yoda whispering in my ear? “Mmmm, strong in the ways of podcasting you have become, but incomplete your training is.” Why master Yoda? What must I do to become a true Jedi Master of English Teaching? “Hmmm, monetise your podcast you must! Yes! Create online courses! Download them people will! Help them learn, you can! Video courses you could produce, yes! Study packs, pdf worksheets. Publish and sell your own materials online you must. Only then, a Jedi you will be.” OK master Yoda. I’ll try. “Hmm speak not of “TRY”. DO or DO NOT. There is no ‘TRY'”. Your voice is a bit weird master Yoda, are you ok?
Thoughts: A lot of effort went into this. The illustration is great, particularly Yoda. You’ve also done a pretty good job of capturing my face, probably based on just one photo. Also, the picture shows a lot of things like the fact that you’re listening while drawing, you’re a Star Wars fan, and you’re aware that I am too. It shows that you’ve been paying attention! I am Luke Skywalker after all. It’s really funny and nice!
OVERALL WINNER (1st place) (a mug + t-shirt, bag or pad)
Gabriella in Italy – listening while doing the housework (29 votes)
Gabriella in Italy – listening while doing the housework
Thoughts: This is a great pic because it shows very clearly the way that many people listen to the podcast – while doing something else. Gabriella is obviously very clever to combine the two, and she seems so happy! Big smile on her face, and it’s just a very striking and colourful picture. There’s something appealing about it. It’s a slice of life. We have a glimpse into your home, and we get a sense of how much you enjoy listening to the podcast. Lovely stuff!
Luke’s Choices for Honourable Mentions (from ones that didn’t win) – and one of these will receive a Luke’s Choice Award (a mug)
These are photos that didn’t win or get runners up prizes, but which I’d like to mention because I like them.
Esther and so many ginger biscuits 9
Dima Okun – listening all the time! 8
Lеksandra Sokolova – an artist who listens while illustrating – sashasokolova.com 8
Denis (Bosnia and Herzegovina) during his Orchestra Rehearsal 9
Thavorn Twinant from Thaliand in San Francisco 10
Hunter in Taiwan listening with 14 day old son 12
Zdenek_Lukas in Czech Republic 13
Sylke Strüber and her pet dog Robin in Germany 13
Meliana and bear in Wroclaw (in Poland), which is this year European Capital of Culture 15
Mateusz from Poland – and his LEP fish 3
Paquan Satamparat in Thaliand with another LEP Ninja – turtley amazing 1
Anna – on the way from China to Vietnam 5
Guido in Milan – giving LEP some free publicity 7
Mayumi padawan learner from Japan just having seen Star Wars 6
Alexander in hospital in Russia – don’t worry he’s ok – and he’s listened to every single episode of LEP while recovering.
Lê Phương Thảo sunrise after staying up all night studying 1 (stayed up all night studying and then chose to listen to my podcast – instead of crashing out in bed, exhausted – you’ll go far my friend)
The ‘Luke’s Choice Award’
This is an award given to one of the photos that didn’t win, but which I personally like.
I like them all, but of the ones that didn’t win, this one stood out for me.
The award goes to: Daria Bokova from Russia living China, cycling through the polluted streets (5 votes)
Daria Bokova from Russia living China, cycling through the polluted streets
Why have I chosen this one?
It’s a slice of life. First of all, we get a sense of daily routine. It seems so busy, with other people cycling past. A sense of movement. A sense of multiculturalism. Environmental issues – with he pollution. A sense of urgency. Although it was probably taken very quickly and it’s essentially a selfie, I like the composition, with the cyclists moving past in the background and to the side, with Daria on the left, quite close engaging us with those lovely blue eyes. It makes me wonder what she’s thinking while surrounded by all this traffic. It must be a stressful daily commute, but she seems calm while listening to the podcast. And she l looks like a ninja, which is cool.
If you’d like to buy some merchandise, click the image below to visit the LEP GIFT SHOP.
Click the image to visit the gift shop where you can buy LEP merchandise.
Other entries and their votes
Lê Phương Thảo sunrise after staying up all night studying 1
Amir Khosh – the Dentist who listens to LEP 1
Sara Viñas in Beijing China with a mask for pollution 1
Gabriel Reis 1
Armando Torres driving in Mexico with the iztaccihuatl volcano in the background 1
Mohsen from Iran 1
Paquan Satamparat in Thaliand with another LEP Ninja – turtley amazing 1
Vlad from Kharkiv in Ukraine, where it looks very cold indeed 1
Alex from Spain making delicious chocolate cookies with the kind help of her two girls 1
Valtesse Maria Thompson – hashtags are enough proof! 1
basma-salman listening in bed I think! 1
Mike in Sri Lanka or India 1
Ewelina – keep on running! (with headphones on) 1
Carolina from Santiago Chile 1
Amaia Garcia – Bilbao in Basque Country – Guggenheim museum 1
Emília Hosszú – she nominated herself in the most boring category – in the UK I think 1
Julien the French stonemason 1
Emma Lee – LEP Ninja from Australia – in her 6 year old son’s room 1
Adam from Poland, now a sheet metal worker in Leicestershire in England 1
Irina Lavrova – another frozen Lepster! 1
Tania from Chile now in Munich 1
Aine Ito – LEP Ninja from Japan now studying in Edinburgh 1
Farid from Algeria now living in Montreal Canada 1
Tetsro – shaving in Japan with Philip’s shaver – did you ask Philip before you borrowed it? 1
Junji Yanagi, from Japan, who prefers walking than taking the train because it gives him more time to listen to LEP – 2
Jonatan Uriel Vidal Carmona in Mexico City 2
Francesco Lotto – a foggy day in Italy 2
romana from höflein, austria – running betwen vineyards 2
Anthony CP from Spain – listening in Northern Ireland 2
Ivan Irikov at the Gym 2
Anna Maria Chachulska (Polish girl living in Netherlands) and Kermit and a gin and tonic 2
A lovely photo of Renato in a typical listening situation 2
Guillaume driving with The Thompsons in Switzerland 2
Ariel Tsai (from China) marking her students homework 2
Quyền Cao commuting and listening 2
Sebastian from Poland – feeling good after a 5 km jog 2
Sergey Abakumoff – somewhere in Russia – spot the headphones 2
Alexey Алексей keeping an eye on the road in Russia 2
playdoh crow multitasking with a nude_potato 3
Mamen – waiting for the snow in Biescas in Spain 3
Mateusz from Poland – and his LEP fish 3
Kaline who listens everywhere! 3
Vasyl Usik on a bike ride in Ukraine 3
Sylke from Germany 3
Marina F with her listening partner – Daniel 3
Achim Winter – Cooking with Luke 3
Facundo Vilicich with a skipping rope in the PLaza Malvinas 3
huda s – favourite place for listening 3
Maxi from San Nicolás, a small town of Argentina – with the view from his kitchen and a cup of mate (local tea) 3
Paulina from Poland – listening in the morning. 3
Hideki from Japan and the Tokyo Skytree 4
Marina in Moscow 4
Jose, who listens while running to the toilet 4
Sabine from Germany – starting the day brushing her teeth in English 4
Leila somewhere in Russia 4
Carlos Rodríguez from Chile – multitasking 4
Alessandro from Rome on a ferry from France to England 5
Anna – on the way from China to Vietnam 5
Kristina listening at -20 degrees C 5
Daria Bokova from Russia living China, cycling through the polluted streets 5
Charleston from Brazil – on the way to his girlfriend’s house in the middle of the night 6
Julia from Minsk in Belarus 6
Eric in France – raising a glass to LEP 6
Mayumi padawan learner from Japan just having seen Star Wars 6
Julia from Russia – a restorer who works with GOLD – note the golden LEP 6
Cristian cooking for his British fiancee – who also is a lepster 7
Joanna from Poland and her comments! 7
Kristina in Moscow – smiling despite the snowstorm 7
Guido in Milan – giving LEP some free publicity 7
Serezha Sergey from Moscow 8
Weijia Wang from China 9
Crikey! It’s the 7th birthday of LEP! I completely forgot about that!
Top countries by download over the last 7 days, 30 days, 90 days, year.
Nicknames for LEPsters
I expect I have many types of listener. Some of you have been listening for ages, some might be quite new. Some of you leave comments, some don’t. Some of you use transcripts, some just listen. I was thinking of nicknames I could use to refer to the different types of listener I have. Here are a few ideas. They’re mainly acronyms. *Let’s see how many of these nicknames I can actually remember in the future! and Let’s see how many get adopted by you*
LEPsters (all people who listen) LEP Ninjas (People who listen but never comment, or people who comment rarely, or people who comment anonomously and then slip away into the darkness) DLLs – Dedicated Language Learners (obviously that’s everyone – but these are people who really go all out to learn using the podcast, like listening numerous times, repeating what they hear, keeping vocabulary records, studying transcripts, or using any kind of serious work ethic while listening) Dudes – Anyone (men or women) who just likes to chill out while listening. You might have a cup of tea and lie down on your nice rug and just listen for the pure enjoyment of it) Civilians or “muggles” (People who don’t listen and who have no idea that it exists) Splitters! (People who used to listen, but decided to stop for some reason – especially if they listen to OPP but not mine) Scrubbers! (People who know the podcast exists but just ignore it, choosing not to listen) Passive smokers / Second hand LEPsters / Significant Others (Wives, girlfriends, boyfriends or husbands who listen because they’re with another LEPster) Younglings (Kids who listen to the podcast) Comrades – I’m referring to fellow English teaching professionals who listen to this podcast. I have a special sense of solidarity with other English teachers. All creatures great and small (any animals who listen) Aliens (just aliens – I imagine they’re scanning all broadcasts on earth) NSA Agents (Those American secret service agents who are listening to this – imagine Agent Smith from The Matrix) LTLs (Long Term Lepsters – people who have been listening for years – maybe since 2009 – early adopters) Newbies – Anyone who’s just started listening recently. The Lost Adventurers – Listeners who are quite lost because they just don’t really understand what’s going on in episodes, but they keep pushing forwards anyway, searching for the truth. I imagine you sort of lost in the jungle, slashing at the foliage with a machete, trying to find the path that will lead you to the temple of English enlightenment. Transcribers (LEPsters who take part in the transcription process) Audiophiles (People who have downloaded audiobooks from Audible) Talkers (People who talk on italki) Cowboys / gunsligners = people who think I talk too much “You talk too much” Readers (People who just read the show notes and transcripts, but don’t actually listen to the episodes) Multitaskers (people who listen to LEP while doing other things) Philanthropists (people who donate money to the podcast out of generosity and kindness)
I’m sure you could think of plenty of other types of listener. So, I invite you to think of other names and add them in the comment section.
POLL – What are the most common types of listener? Complete this poll to find out!
Hello listeners – this episode is all about the Luke’s English Podcast photo competition which I launched in December in episode 313. I’ve received loads of photos from listeners and they’re now presented on the page for this episode on my website, and they look fantastic, so please do have a look at them! In this episode I’m going to tell you how you can vote in the competition, and I’m also going to teach you some specific vocabulary and expressions for describing photographs, which is particularly useful if you’re taking a Cambridge exam like FCE or CAE. That’s what’s going to to happen in this episode, so let’s go!
Just before we start, I want to thank you for your support – either through donations or the audiobook offer (this is where I talk about donations and sponsors – but it’ll just take a couple of minutes)
Thank you if you’ve made a donation – you’re basically keeping LEP alive, I hope you realise that. If you want to show your appreciation for LEP you can – just click a donate button on the website and make a contribution (the amount is totally up to you). LEP is also made possible through some sponsorship from Audible.com. Basically, I get a small referral when my listeners sign up to a trial with Audible, which is basically Amazon’s audiobook service. The trial lasts 30 days, and includes a free audiobook download of your choice. Normally they’re 20-30 dollars each, but you can get one free with this offer. You can download any book you like, and if you don’t like the service, just cancel and keep the book, no strings attached.
If you’re wondering which audiobook to get, let me tell you about the bestselling audiobooks on Audible.com this week. #1 is called The Now Habit by Dr Neil Fiore and it’s all about skills and strategies for overcoming procrastination. #2 is Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (or Sorcerer’s Stone in the USA) – yes, all the Harry Potter books are now available as audiobooks and they’re really popular – constantly in the top 10 downloads. In fact, the whole top 10 this week is filled with other Harry Potter books. Get the first one yourself and dive into the world of Hogwarts, Professor Snape and he who must not be named. The first book has a rating of 4.9 – which is outstanding. It’s read out by British actor Jim Dale, who according to reviews, does an excellent job of bringing the story to life. #3 in the list is The Martian by Andy Weir. It’s a novel which was recently made into a film with Matt Damon, directed by Ridley Scott. I really enjoyed the film – it was a witty and exciting story of a man who gets stuck on Mars during an expedition and has to find a way to survive – and how does he do it? Well, luckily he’s a botanist – that’s an expert on plants. So he decides to survive – and how does he do it? he creates a farm inside the space station and then grows potatoes in his own poo as fertiliser. That might sound disgusting but it’s actually really really resourceful and clever isn’t it! It’s one of the many original and intelligent things about the story. The film is oscar nominated and is very funny and gripping and apparently the book is even better than the film, which is usually the case. It’s got a rating of 4.8 out of 5 on Audible. Alright, so that’s the top 3 books on audible.com. Just go to teacherluke.co.uk/audible or click the audible logo on the website. That’s it, I’m now going to shut up about my sponsor, and move onto the photo competition. :)
You can see all the photos below, but please read this text first :)
The LEP photo competition entries are here! On the page for this episode [hello you’re reading it right now!] (below) you can see all the photos which were sent to me in the competition, arranged in a randomly generated mosaic. I hope you agree that it looks really cool.
I hope I haven’t forgotten anyone’s photos. Remember that the only condition was that you included some evidence that you’re listening (e.g. headphones or an LEP logo or something). The closing date for the competition was the 15th of January, so it’s now way too late to send me your photos. Sorry if you only just found out about it now – you’ll just have to wait for the next competition to come along!
You can now vote on your favourite photo(s). Please see below for the voting rules.
Nice to see you!
It’s absolutely fantastic to get a window into the lives of my listeners, even just a little bit with these snapshots that some of you have sent to me. I know there are many more of you out there – I have a large army of LEP ninjas who like to lurk in the shadows and just listen, only coming out sometimes to leave a comment and then whoosh spring back over the wall and into the night! By the way, I’ve had quite a few first time comments from ninjas and it’s nice to hear from you.
Back to the photos – It’s great to see the different environments, landscapes and weather that you are in while listening. Also, it’s really good to see some of the faces of you my listeners around the world.
Many of the photos are very charming and also funny. There are some real gems in there! (a gem is a precious stone, but it’s also a word we use to describe something which you think is particularly good – e.g. someone you really like e.g. “She’s a real gem isn’t she?” or “there are some real gems in there” meaning, there are some particularly good photos in there) I’m very proud of my LEP community. Thanks for your photos!
How to vote
Just add a comment under the photo(s) that you want to vote for. You don’t need to give your name, but you can if you like. Make sure you use the word ‘vote’ or ‘choose’ in your comment, so I know it’s a vote.
Don’t vote in the comments section under the episode – please vote under individual photos by clicking on them and then clicking on ‘comment’.
Please include either the word “vote” or “choose” when you vote. E.g. “I vote for this one!” or “I’d like to choose this one as the winner!”
It would be nice if you gave a reason for voting in your comment! E.g. “I vote for this one because…”
To leave a comment, just click on the image. Then click in the bottom right hand corner where it says “Comment”.
You can vote for as many photos as you like.
The winner is the one who has the most votes. There will be two runners up as well.
Voting ends on 5 March 2016 – my Dad’s birthday.
Feel free to comment on other photos too. That would be cool.
To find all the photos just go to teacherluke.co.uk and click the red button on the side which says “LEP PHOTO COMPETITION” – you can see it on the side under the LEP mug pic and under the email subscription button, and above the Audible logo. Click it and you’ll get to the page for this episode. You’ll see all the text that I’m reading and then all the photos are there for your viewing pleasure.
It’s useful to know how to talk about photographs, especially if you have to describe them in a Cambridge exam like FCE. Here are some phrases that we typically use while doing it. Listen to the podcast to hear me demonstrate them.
in the middle e.g. In the middle of the picture we can see a really cute puppy!
at the top e.g. You can see his headphones at the top of the photo.
at the bottom e.g. At the bottom of the picture you can see that he’s sitting on the toilet!”
in the corner
in the top left corner / bottom right corner
on the right side / on the left side
hand – on the right hand side, on the left hand side, in the top righthand corner, in the bottom lefthand corner e.g. In the top left hand corner you can see a turtle in the pond. / On the right hand side you can see his headphones dangling from a tree.
in the foreground E.g. It looks like she’s studying maths because you can see what must be her maths book in the foreground.
in the background You can see the rest of the orchestra in the background.
the picture shows… (someone + -ing) The picture shows the view from his window and a pair of headphones dangling down in the foreground.
in the picture we can see… (someone -ing) E.g. In the photo we can see Julien doing some stonemasonry while listening to LEP.
there is… there are… There are lots of images of people travelling or in movement. There’s one picture which seems to have been taken on top of a mountain!
present continuous tense In this picture we can see that Ewelina is running a marathon while listening to LEP!
someone + -ing + while + ing This is a photo of Fernando listening while driving.
Present continuous + while + -ing In the photo you can see Gabriella who is doing some ironing while listening to LEP.
it looks like (something is -ing) / it looks to me like (something is -ing) E.g. It looks to me like Alexander is doing alright. or It looks like Carlos is reading music and playing the piano while listening to LEP, which must be difficult!
It’s a picture of… E.g. This is a picture of Zdenek cycling to work in the snow, which looks pretty slippery!
…which… – we use this to just add something to the end of a statement (not just to a noun, but to the whole statement). E.g. Some people have sent photos with babies or members of their family, which is really lovely.
Out of focus / blurry / blurred
Modals of speculation in the present, e.g. “It must be freezing where you are!” or “It looks like the traffic is really busy in Sao Paulo, which must be pretty frustrating – although it might give you more listening time”, “You can see that Mark is wearing his hat right over his eyes, which might make it hard to see where he’s going – but he’s probably a force trained LEP Ninja, so I expect he’s just using the jedi mind trick.” “In this pic we can see that Didar has a pen and paper ready while listening. I guess he might be writing vocabulary notes or making a transcription”.
I imagine… I imagine that’s a nice thing to do while listening to LEP.
I expect… I expect it took ages to paint that! or I expect she’s on her way to school.
I really think you should check out these photos. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Overall it’s just brilliant to see all these images collected together as a whole, and to explore all the photos individually to see the different situations around the world in which you’re listening, and there are some real gems in there (a gem – this means something that’s particularly great – e.g. you’re a real gem! = you’re great, and I like you a lot!). So, there are some real gems in there. I’ll now let you explore the photos for yourselves.
A quick re-cap of the rules: Please please please vote for the one(s) that you like by using the word “choose” or “vote” in a comment under the photo(s) you are voting for. Also, please make any other comments that you want to express. I encourage you all to mention things you like about the images.
Voting closes on March 5, and then after that I’ll do another episode in which I announce the winner and talk in a bit more detail about the photos. Remember, the winner of the competition gets an LEP mug and a t-shirt or bag, and two runners up get an LEP mug each. Those are the prizes, but for me – it’s not the winning that counts, it’s the taking part.
Where can I find all the photos!? You might be asking. You can find them all by going to teacherluke.co.uk clicking on the red button that says LEP Photo Competition. That button will be on the right, just under the email subscription button and above the audible logo. Click that and it’ll take you to the page for this episode where you can see all the photos. Just scroll down past all this text that I’m reading, and bob’s your uncle.
Here are all the photos from LEPsters :) Click a photo to see a bigger view and to leave a comment
Marina in Moscow
Алевтина – bathroom routine
Mayumi padawan learner from Japan just having seen Star Wars
Ariel Tsai (from China) marking her students homework
mynewlife.1900 – in China walking to the library while listening
Eric in France – raising a glass to LEP
Giovanni Fuschi – on the road with LEP
Achim Winter – Cooking with Luke, and Thomas
Francesco Lotto – a foggy day in Italy
Mateusz from Poland – and his LEP fish
Eeva Koittola – keeping warm
Charleston from Brazil – on the way to his girlfriend’s house in the middle of the night
javier – listening while at work in the Canary Islands
Amir Khosh – the Dentist who listens to LEP
Gabriella in Italy – listening while doing the housework
Simona from Romania – listening while gaming
Fernando Calheiros Lima in a Sao Paulo traffic jam
Sylke from Germany
Guillaume driving with The Thompsons in Switzerland
Alessandro from Rome on a ferry from France to England
Jose, who listens while running to the toilet
Irina Lavrova – another frozen Lepster!
Daria Bokova from Russia living China, cycling through the polluted streets
Zdenek_Lukas in Czech Republic – always listens while cycling to work even in freezing conditions – don’t slip Zdenek!
Alexandr – listening in Moscow
Adam from Poland, now a sheet metal worker in Leicestershire in England
Serezha Sergey from Moscow
Petra from the Czech republic – distracted from phrasal verbs homework by LEP
This is Sergio’s illustration of me as a Jedi in training. :D There’s another photo in the competition with Sergio doing the drawing – I consider them to be the same pic (this one http://teacherluke.co.uk/2016/01/20/327-the-lep-photo-competition-please-check-out-the-photos-and-vote/sergio-tellez-lep-jedi)
Mark – LEP ninja China, Jiangxi province
Julien the French stonemason
Anthony CP from Spain – listening in Northern Ireland
Valtesse Maria Thompson – hashtags are enough proof!
Armando Torres driving in Mexico with the iztaccihuatl volcano in the background
Sergio Tellez LEP JEDI and artist! He decided to draw a picture of me as a Jedi in training! :D I’m Luke Skywalker, finally.
Julia from Russia – a restorer who works with GOLD – note the golden LEP
Sylke Strüber and her pet dog Robin in Germany
Maxi from San Nicolás, a small town of Argentina – with the view from his kitchen and a cup of mate (local tea)
Junji Yanagi, from Japan, who prefers walking than taking the train because it gives him more time to listen to LEP
Kaline who listens everywhere!
Carlos Rodríguez from Chile – multitasking
huda s – favourite place for listening
Paulina from Poland – listening in the morning.
Tania from Chile now in Munich
Vlad from Kharkiv in Ukraine, where it looks very cold indeed
Mike in Sri Lanka or India
Piotr Kraków Poland
Muhammed Zakariya – unknown location (charge your phone)
Marina F with her listening partner – Daniel
Kristina listening at -20 degrees C
Guido in Milan – giving LEP some free publicity
romana from höflein, austria – running betwen vineyards
Esther and so many ginger biscuits
Luke from Luke’s English Podcast – don’t vote for me, I already have an LEP mug ;)
Sara Viñas in Beijing China with a mask for pollution
Thavorn Twinant from Thaliand in San Francisco
Farid from Algeria now living in Montreal Canada
Leila somewhere in Russia
丸山弘 – sorry I don’t know your name in English!
Dima Okun – listening all the time!
Kristina in Moscow – smiling despite the snowstorm
Alex from Spain making delicious chocolate cookies with the kind help of her two girls
Quyền Cao commuting and listening
Hideki from Japan and the Tokyo Skytree
Ivy from China (nice name) who listens with her friend Lillian
Sebastian from Poland – feeling good after a 5 km jog
Jonatan Uriel Vidal Carmona in Mexico City
ANTONIO – happy listener
Emília Hosszú – she nominated herself in the most boring category – in the UK I think
playdoh crow multitasking with a nude_potato
Aine Ito – LEP Ninja from Japan now studying in Edinburgh
Weijia Wang from China
Facundo Vilicich with a skipping rope in the PLaza Malvinas
Anna Maria Chachulska (Polish girl living in Netherlands) and Kermit and a gin and tonic
Mamen – waiting for the snow in Biescas in Spain
Paquan Satamparat in Thaliand with another LEP Ninja – turtley amazing
Emma Lee – LEP Ninja from Australia – in her 6 year old son’s room
A lovely photo of Renato in a typical listening situation
Sabine from Germany – starting the day brushing her teeth in English :)
Denis (Bosnia and Herzegovina) during his Orchestra Rehearsal – apparently there was no percussion for a while so why not catch up on some LEP :)
Ewelina – keep on running! (with headphones on)
Vasyl Usik on a bike ride in Ukraine
Amaia Garcia – Bilbao in Basque Country – Guggenheim museum
Meliana and bear in Wroclaw ( in Poland), which is this year European Capital of Culture
Mohsen from Iran
Yaron Aharonov in a traffic jam in Israel
basma-salman listening in bed I think!
Aleksey from Saratov, Russia
Rozada on the sofa
Walter near Milan in Italy – highest listener?
A photo from Eri Taguchi (previously lost in my inbox!) who listens with blue headphones when she’s out and about. Here’s a Japanese train platform. Ah, Nihon 懐かしい !
Alexander in hospital in Russia – don’t worry he’s ok – and he’s listened to every single episode of LEP while recovering
Lê Phương Thảo sunrise after staying up all night studying
Tetsro – shaving in Japan with Philip’s shaver – did you ask Philip before you borrowed it?
Ivan Irikov at the Gym
Sergey Abakumoff – somewhere in Russia – spot the headphones
Hunter in Taiwan listening with 14 day old son
Marcin listening at work
Isabel from Bolivia now in Valencia Spain
Anna – on the way from China to Vietnam
Gabriele De Rosa – emailing me while listening
Carolina from Santiago Chile
Joanna from Poland and her comments!
Cristian cooking for his British fiancee – who also is a lepster
Julia from Minsk in Belarus
Alberto Pez – working at home surrounded by friends
Alexey Алексей keeping an eye on the road in Russia
In this episode we’re going to listen to some stand-up comedy by a popular British comedian called Tim Vine, which should be pretty challenging because he tells lots of puns and fast jokes.
But before that, I just want to tell you about a new competition that I’m launching today for listeners to this podcast. This is the Luke’s English Podcast photo competition. See below for all the details, to download this episode and to watch a video of Tim Vine.
[DOWNLOAD] [LISTEN TO PART 2] The LEP Photo Competition It’s been a great year for Luke’s English Podcast with loads of new episodes. All kinds of things have happened this year and I’ve talked about a lot of them on the podcast. I’ve had lots of responses from you my listeners and the podcast is still going from strength to strength in terms of audience numbers.
One of the things that’s made it great for me is that I have such awesome listeners all over the planet. It’s great for me to imagine people listening to my podcast in different situations, in different places all over the world. But I’d like to do more than imagine those situations, I’d love to actually see them. I think it would be really cool if you, the listeners of this podcast, could all share photos of your surroundings while listening to LEP.
Maybe you’re on a bus or train, maybe in your car, maybe just walking around, maybe you’re at home with your pets or a cup of tea, maybe you’re climbing a mountain, maybe you’re on the international space station orbiting the earth or something.
Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing – send me your photos. I want you to take a photo that shows the situation you’re in while you listen. Now, you might think “Nah, you don’t want to see a picture of my surroundings…” Yes, I do! Even if you think it’s boring – I want to see it. If you’re on the bus, take a pic of the bus or your view from the window. If you’re walking along a street, take a pic of the street so we can see what it looks like. If you’re on an alien spaceship listening to this from outside the earth’s atmosphere, send me a photo of the spaceship or your view of earth from a distance. Just take a picture of what you can see while you’re listening.
There’s just one rule – the photo has to contain something that shows you’re listening – so include in the photo the LEP logo or some headphones or a screen with the logo on it or some other indication that you’re listening. You don’t have to include a picture of yourself, but you can if you want to. It’s up to you. The main thing is – I want you to show us something that you can see in your surroundings while you listen to LEP and your photo should contain something that proves you’re listening. So if you’re taking a photo of the street, or the view from your hike in the mountains, make sure there’s a headphone in the photo or the LEP logo or even you listening. Yes, just a headphone in the photo is enough for me.
Send your photos by email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Closing date for photos is Friday 15 January at midnight London time.
When I’ve collected all the photos, I’ll put them all up on the website and you all the LEPsters can vote for their favourite. Then I’ll pick 3 winners. The top winner will get an LEP mug plus another gift of their choice (another mug, a t-shirt or a bag). The two runners up will get LEP mugs.
OK, so start taking some photos to show us what it’s like where you are while you’re listening to the podcast. Feel free to get creative! Just make sure you insert something in the photo to show that you’re listening. I want it to be a real picture, not a faked one. OK!
From messages I receive it seems that some of my listeners just can’t wait for me to upload new episodes and they keep going to my page to see if there’s new content there. You should join the mailing list and then you’ll get an email whenever I post a new episode on the website. On my website near the top on the right there’s a field that says “Subscribe by email” just enter your email address there and click confirm.
Top 10 countries this week (number of ‘plays’ in the last 7 days)
Do you want your country to go up in the list? Tell your friends!
British Comedy: Tim Vine
Tim Vine is a British stand up comedian who is famous for doing lots of one-liners. He’s one of the UK’s favourite stand-up comedians. His jokes are all clean and family friendly with no rude language or explicit content. He’s a self-deprecating cheeky chappie who makes everyone laugh. The thing that makes Tim Vine different to other comedians is that he always does a succession of one line jokes in his performances. It’s just joke after joke after joke and often they don’t relate to each other at all, it’s just a relentless and rapid stream of unrelated gags and puns. British audiences love him, but I wonder what you’ll think of his comedy.
I think to an extent, his comedy is quite challenging for non-native speakers of English. By that I mean that he’s the sort of guy that, if you’re a learner of English, you’ll be watching TV with a group of native English speakers, and Tim Vine will come on TV, and all the native speakers (let’s say youre with an English family or some English friends) all of them will suddenly say, “Oh, I love Tim Vine, he’s soooo funny, you’ve got to check this out, you’ll love this, all his jokes are so clever – they’re all based on double meanings and word play, you’ll love it.” You then watch his set, and he tells joke after joke after joke, the audience on TV is loving it, the other people in the room are all laughing, but to you he’s just saying lots of really quick little sentences without pronouncing the words properly, and he’s acting like a total amateur, and he looks all shy and apologetic on stage, and you think – I can’t believe these English people find this guy so funny, what’s wrong with everyone. Or, what’s wrong with me?
There’s nothing wrong with anyone of course, it’s just a language and culture gap that might stop you from enjoying his jokes, and it’s a big pity because there is a lot of joy and pleasure to be gained from watching Tim Vine do comedy.
So, in this episode I’m going to do something a bit ambitious – I’m going to try to help you understand and enjoy one of Tim Vine’s comedy performances. We’re going to listen to about 10 minutes of Tim Vine’s act, and then I’ll break it down and help you understand exactly what he’s saying and why the audience is laughing. If you laugh at his jokes too – fantastic, that’s wonderful. If laughter happens, then success has been achieved. If laughter doesn’t happen – no problem, we’ll still have success because I will explain the language and you’ll learn some really natural English.
I expect that while we listen to Tim Vine some of you will start thinking – this just isn’t funny. Well, let me just say – Tim Vine definitely is funny and many many people agree with that. In fact, I think that The only reason someone won’t find him funny is because they just don’t get the jokes. He’s not offensive, he’s not rude, he’s a lovely man who just wants to make people laugh. There’s no other reason for not liking him other than the fact that you don’t understand his jokes.
A few facts to prove my point: Tim Vine is the holder of the Guiness World Record for most jokes told in an hour. He told 499 jokes. The criteria for the record is that the jokes received a laugh from the audience. So, 499 jokes got laughs in one hour. That’s over 8 jokes a minute.
He has won the “Joke of the Year” award twice. That’s the prize for the best joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
My Mum and Dad are both huge fans of Tim. They went to see one of his live shows, and absolutely loved it. And, you should know that my parents have exceptional taste in most things.
Now, if those three things don’t convince you that Tim Vine is funny, then I don’t know what will.
Alright, so now we have agreed that Tim Vine is definitely funny, and that if you don’t find him funny then it’s almost certainly because of the language and cultural gap – let’s listen to Tim telling some jokes and then we’ll work on closing that linguistic and cultural gap. Hopefully the result will be that your understanding of English will be significantly raised in the process, even if it requires a bit of work. In fact, this could be the perfect test – teach – test model for learning English.
I’m not saying that you’re not going to understand any of this – I’m sure many of you will get a lot of the jokes without any problem, but honestly I think that if you’re not proficient at English you’ll struggle to get them. And watch out – don’t assume you’ve understood the joke because you understand the words. There’s always a double meaning.
So, let’s go.
Let’s now listen to the first 3 minutes of Tim Vine’s stand up routine from a show called One Night Stand, which is a popular stand-up comedy show on a British TV channel called Dave.
Stop listening after Tim’s song called “It’s easy”.
Then go back through the jokes one by one. If you already got these jokes, then sorry if I’m telling things you already know.
Cultural point: Tim knows, and the audience knows, that the jokes are pretty stupid and crap. On their own they have pretty much no value. But when the jokes come one by one, relentlessly, so fast they build into a rhythm. You don’t get a chance to think about how silly they are, you just laugh at the pun and the next one comes along immediately. That part of the enjoyment – and if you don’t understand them, or if you think about the individual jokes too much, that can kill the fun. So, analysing the jokes like this is probably the best way to KILL the humour, but anyway…
Now, you should watch the whole video on the page for this episode. You should do that so you can actually see Tim performing the jokes, including the expressions on his face and everything.
That’s it! Remember – don’t give up even if it’s difficult.
And, remember, the force will be with you, always…
aka “Vocabulary Game with Amber & Paul” or “Fifteen Fixed Expressions” (less exciting titles)
Learn more English expressions in this episode by listening to another vocabulary game with Amber Minogue and Paul Taylor.
The series of episodes featuring ‘fixed expressions’ and vocabulary games continues in this episode. The previous ones, entitled “Ten Fixed Expressions” (283) and “Ten More Fixed Expressions” (285) featured me testing Paul’s knowledge of multi-word expressions in English. He did better in the second episode than the first, although maybe that’s because of the way I explained the expressions rather than because of Paul’s lack of vocabulary. Nevertheless, the wider aim of these episodes is to teach you, my listeners, some vocabulary in the form of multi-word expressions.
[DOWNLOAD] [AUDIOBOOK OFFER] What is a ‘fixed expression’?
Essentially, a fixed expression (according to me) is a vocabulary item comprising of a few words that always go together. That includes idioms, sayings, phrasal verbs, well-known quotes and collocations. All these things are lexical items which are included in the catch-all title of ‘fixed expressions’. The words are fixed together. They’re not just individual words combined, but they are discrete items of vocabulary in their own right.
So, fixed expressions are essentially ‘lexical chunks’. They’re not types of shelf unit or ikea furniture or anything like that. They’re just phrases in English. That should be clear.
I realise that the more I explain, the more confusing it is, so I’ll stop explaining now and we can start playing the game.
Let’s Play the Game
This time Amber is involved.
All three of us have short lists of five expressions.
We’re going to do three rounds of this game.
Round 1: Amber vs Paul (Luke is the Question Master)
Round 2: Paul vs Luke (Amber is the Question Master)
Round 3: Luke vs Amber (Paul is the Question Master)
Rules of the Game
The Question Master defines an expression without using the words in the expression.
The QM can also give little hints if necessary.
The two competitors race to guess the expression.
A point is awarded to the one who guesses the question right. If both competitors guess the expression at the same time, they both get a point.
Listeners can try to guess the expressions too. Did you guess them? Did you beat us?
If you don’t know the expression, listen carefully because we will explain, repeat and give examples.
So, it’s a fun game and a learning opportunity too, in one Great British package.
The Expressions in the Game
Here you’ll find lists of the fixed expressions in this episode. Listen to the episode to get the full definitions and examples, or search for the definitions online.
1. to be hard up
2. to be in the loop / to stay in the loop / to keep someone in the loop
3. “been there, done that, got the t-shirt”
4. to bend over backwards (for someone) (to do something)
5. to give someone the benefit of the doubt
1. to get your foot in the door
2. to show your true colours
3. over my dead body
4. in mint condition
5. to bite the bullet
Paul’s Expressions – Theme: Body Parts
1. to have two left feet
2. to be/fall head over heels in love with someone
3. (to do something) by the skin of your teeth
4. (give it some) elbow grease / (put some) elbow grease (into it)
5. to put your foot in your mouth
There are plenty of other expressions in this episode, so if you notice any other good ones please add them in the comments section below.
p.s. I’m going on my honeymoon in a couple of days so there will be no new episodes for a couple of weeks, but LEP will be back :)