Monthly Archives: May 2012

102. Competition Winners

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Hi, I’ve got loads of things to tell you. So, in this episode you will hear about:
– Competition results and winners (woo) -See below for the winner and 2 runners up.
– New website information www.teacherluke.wordpress.com (check it out)
– News about me moving to Paris for a while (ooh la la)
– News about the Queen’s Jubilee and other things happening in London (it’s an exciting time)
– A new comedian/musician who I recently discovered (see the video below)

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COMPETITION RESULTS!!! Here are the winners of the competition.
1. Camila from Brazil
2. Kirill from Belarus / Kiyomi from Japan
WELL DONE CAMILA and congratulations to Kirill and Kiyomi too! Please send me your addresses and I will send you prizes. Top prize is the Macmillan Phrasal Verbs Dictionary. Runners-up prizes are an Oxford Phrasal Verbs dictionary and an Oxford Idioms dictionary. Congratulations to the winners, but also thank you to everyone who took part in the competition.

That’s it for this episode. Thanks for donations. They make this podcast possible.

Here’s a video of Reggie Watts (Live at PopTech 2010)
It may be difficult to understand Reggie Watts. The main point of his comedy is that Reggie copies different speech patterns and switches between them very quickly. One moment he sounds like a posh English professor, then he sounds like a rapper from New York, then he sounds like an English cockney, and then he does an incredible song by creating loops on an effects unit and singing/rapping over the top.

101. A Note from Luke

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This post was written in May 2012, and the audio was recorded later, in 2014.

I’m sick with a sore throat and a temperature today so I can’t record a podcast, but I wanted to communicate with you my listeners, followers, fans, subscribers, students, friends, whatever you want to call yourselves. So in this message I’d just like to say a few things, and I’m going to do that now:

Voting in the competition is now closed. Thanks so much for your votes. I’m now planning to announce the winner. I think the best way to do that is to announce it in a podcast episode. As I said, I’m ill at this moment, so I can’t do that now but I will asap. Actually, you can find out the winner by just counting the votes from the comments sections on the 3 competition entry episodes. Votes added in the comments box on the side of this website have not been counted. Sorry :( but those were the rules.
I am REALLY PLEASED with the competition, because I think the competition entries from listeners were AWESOME and LOVELY, and because lots of people voted and got involved. It’s touching to hear responses from people in other countries.
Hello to Priyank from India – I said I would say hello to you in a podcast, and I will do it with my voice rather than in text like this. You can look forward to it mate! Also hi to Hacer from Turkey and my classroom in London recently. I’ll say “hi” to you too and we’ll see if I can pronounce your name correctly (fingers crossed).
I hate sitting at home feeling sick because I feel there are so many things to do, but I should rest today because you’ve got to look after your health. That’s what my Mum says anyway.
I am stupidly busy these days, which is why I haven’t uploaded for a few days. In an ideal world I would regularly upload lots of podcasts and other things for you to enjoy and learn from, and as a result I would become even happier and proud and the world would be a slightly better place. Please listen to episodes again and again, you will find that to be more and more useful for you. You’ll notice things you didn’t notice before. Repeat listening will help you pick up more vocabulary. You might find something funny the 2nd time that you thought was just normal the 1st time. Of course, you might find it annoying and less funny but there’s not much I can do about that, is there?
Sorry, I haven’t asked how you are. How are you? Are you well? That’s good, I’m glad to hear it. Look after yourself won’t you. Take care and keep in touch. Keep listening to the podcast. Are you on Facebook? Why don’t you ‘like’ my Facebook page? Just go to FB and search for Luke’s English Podcast. I post videos and other stuff there sometimes. If you ‘like’ the page, you’ll see those things in your timeline, and that’ll be cool. I’m on Twitter too (@englishpodcast) and I add a few comments and links there from time to time too.
I think I might get a new mobile phone, like maybe a Samsung or something but I’m not sure I can afford it. Also, I’m quite sceptical about buying these gadgets. i heard somewhere that Samsung also make really nasty weapons which get used in wars. It kind of made me think twice about getting one of their products, but that Galaxy S2 looks really good… Decisions decisions… Perhaps I’ll stick with the Blackberry for a while.
The weather in London is really crap at the moment. It’s just grey and wet. It’s a bit depressing to be honest but I’m sure it’ll improve soon and we’ll have some great days of sunshine. I admit, I talk about the weather a bit too much, but if you lived here in the UK you’d know why.
The Olympics are due to start here in London in the summer, and the Queen is celebrating her 60 year jubilee. This means that the whole city seems to be preparing for some massively patriotic celebration of being British. On one hand that’s great and really exciting to be part of, but on the other hand it could make London busy and crowded and sometimes it feels like the whole thing will just cost a huge amount of money. Isn’t there a massive financial crisis going on? Shouldn’t we be saving money?
Banksy has done a new piece of graffiti on a wall in North East London. It’s been in the news. It looks like a comment on the patriotic celebration and pageantry of the Jubilee and Olympics. While we celebrate and spend loads of money, kids in sweatshops on the other side of the world are making the bunting and flags we use to celebrate. It makes you think twice about everything. You can see a picture of it http://londonist.com/2012/05/new-banksy-with-bunting-in-wood-green-high-road.php
I recently saw a great bit of stand up by the London based stand-up comedian Mickey Flanagan. Have a look at this video. It’s hilarious. I wonder if you understand everything, or find it funny. I would explain it all here but it would take ages and ages. Try watching the video anyway, it should give you a good laugh if you give it a chance. You can see the video below this text…
That’s it for now. Again, I’m really GLAD that the competition went well. I will announce the winner in a podcast as soon as I can. Please be patient! Remember I do this podcast on my own while also juggling a full-time job, a stand-up comedy ‘career’, 2 bands, a lot of laundry and washing, my health and well-being and last but definitely not least the attention of my lovely girlfriend. It means I don’t always have time to do podcast episodes quickly. I’m not the BBC, not yet anyway ;)
PEACE, LOVE,  ICE-CREAM, GREEN TEA, GOOD MUSIC & LAUGHTER !
Luke x

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCGPIR_4gI8&w=400&h=225]

100. Going To The Pub (with James)

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This is your complete guide to how to go to the pub in the UK, including what to say, what to do, and how to get served at the bar.

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Contents

In this episode you’ll learn everything you need to know about going to the pub, including:
– what does a pub look like?
– types of pub
– are you welcome?
– opening times
– how to order
– where to stand
– how to get served
– the order of being served
– buying drinks for others
– tipping
– what to say to the barman
– making conversation with locals
– types of drink
– useful phrases
– what you will find in the pub
– places to sit
– things to do
– smoking
– food
– trouble
– locals
– banter
– football
– pub lunch
– after work drinks
– night out
– beer garden
– What NOT to do
– binge drinking
– getting drunk
– words for ‘drunk’
– the pub in British culture – films, tv shows
If you find the podcast useful, why not donate some money to help me pay for website costs, etc. It’s very simple to do and you can use your PayPal account for other things like online shopping. It’s completely safe and trustworthy.

The pub in English films and TV shows, and other videos:
*Comedy is difficult to understand sometimes, especially in another language. If you don’t find any of this funny, never mind!*
This is a scene from classic comedy show Only Fools and Horses. People describe this scene as “the bit when Del Boy falls through the bar”
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63rcdLeXiU8&w=400&h=301]
This is a useful guide to the different kinds of pub you can find in London. Here’s a quick summary: Tourist Pubs – they’re bad because they’re really big, fake, the beer is flat, the food is stodgy. Old Man Pubs (often found in Soho or Mayfair, but anywhere in London really) are great because they’re quite small, authentic, have interesting interior design, friendly people (usually), cheaper, more relaxing, a good place to buy good ale, a good place for banter or intelligent conversation with locals. Hipster Hangouts (typical trendy pubs in East London) are where you find fashionable cutting-edge cool young people. Family Pubs can be found in quieter parts of London, e.g. the suburbs or areas near the river for example near Hammersmith Bridge, which is my neighbourhood. The Dove in Hammersmith that’s my local, and a great pub!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMrBcc5kdSE&w=560&h=315]
This is a home-made video. The commentator sounds like a cockney. See what happens when an American goes to a pub in the UK. He makes a few mistakes, the muppet. (‘Muppet’ is a cockney slang word meaning ‘idiot’ – it’s an affectionate insult)
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XHyze2trng&w=420&h=315]
This is Al Murray The Pub Landlord. He is a comedy character based on the cliche of British pub landlords. He’s patriotic, small minded and ridiculous. He’s a horrible, stupid guy and that is the joke (yes, it’s weird British humour). One thing I should say – this character is a criticism of this kind of stupid character but also a kind of celebration too. It’s complicated.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyGgL_omNbI&w=420&h=315]
This clip is from a disgusting, rude and hilarious (in my opinion) BBC comedy called “Bottom”. The show is about two characters called Richie and Eddie. They are both sad lonely perverts who live in London. They are desperate to pick up some girls and ‘have it off’ with them, but they have absolutely no charm whatsoever. They have no luck with women. This is because they are stupid, sex-obsessed, completely unsophisticated and downright rude. In this episode they have bought some ‘sex spray’. This is a chemical which they believe will make them irresistibly attractive towards women. They go to the pub to try and pick up some ‘birds’. In fact, the spray doesn’t work at all. It only attracts dogs, which chase them through the street outside the pub. All their pathetic attempts to seduce the women fail miserably. Richie and Eddie are played by actors Rik Mayall and Ade Edmonson, who are two of the UK’s favourite TV comedy actors. Enjoy the clip, but watch out if you’re easily offended by very crass humour. It’s a rude show, but I love it.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uVWlbh30HM&w=400&h=301]
A nostalgic and slightly sad documentary film about the decline of the pub in Britain.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ASxxiuCAcA&w=400&h=301]
Barack Obama drinks a pint of Guinness in a pub in Ireland (the best place to drink good Guinness). You might here them saying Slainte (pronounced Slanche), which what they say in Ireland before having a drink (like ‘cheers’ in the UK). Enjoy – and doesn’t it make you want a pint of Guinness?
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5206QjFWmAk&w=400&h=233]