Monthly Archives: June 2015

282. Questions from Tea4er.ru

In this episode you can listen to an article about LEP and some Q&A from readers of Tea4er.ru all read out by Luke. See below for the transcript. :)

[DOWNLOAD]
Hi listeners,

Earlier this year I was sent an email from one of the managers of a popular website in Russia for teachers of English. It’s called Tea4er.ru. Basically, the editor of this website approached me because some of their readers had mentioned me. He emailed me and asked me to provide an article explaining my approach to teaching English and how my podcast is part of that. The idea was that after reading the article, readers from the website could send me their questions. After a few weeks I would then read all those questions and choose a few to answer, then send my answers. The plan was that I’d choose about 5 winning answers. In the end what happened was that there were so many questions that I found it almost impossible to just pick 5. There were over 20 pages of questions. I was totally blown away by the number of responses. Tea4er.ru is a hugely frequented site, and of course Russia is one of the biggest countries for LEP (in terms of website visits, Russia is #1 followed by Spain, UK, Poland, Italy, USA and Japan. For audio downloads my top country is by far the UK, followed by Russia, Spain, Poland and Japan) so that may explain why I got so many responses. I ended up responding to way more than 5 questions. I sent my responses to the website and they published them this week. With the permission of the website I have decided to turn the whole thing into an episode of LEP. I mean, I put so much time into writing the article and answering the questions that I thought it might be worth reading the whole thing out for my listeners to hear.

So that’s what you’re going to get in this episode. I’ll read you the article I wrote, which is basically the story of my career and of LEP, and then I’ll read out the questions I was sent and my answers. The questions cover various topics – mainly English teaching, but also a whole bunch of other stuff. I hope you enjoy it!

1) the news about contest http://tea4er.ru/news
2) the interview http://tea4er.ru/interview/3681-luke-thompson-lukes-english-podcast
3) the forum thread http://tea4er.ru/forum/342—/64382

Dear Readers,

These days there is an emerging new kind of English teaching professional – the online teacher. They create their own content, break new ground with the use of social networking, and give learners an option outside of the traditional school structure. They’re on YouTube, blogs and podcasts, they gain a very significant following, and I suppose that I am now one of them.

Over five years ago I had settled into my career as a teacher of English as a foreign language. I had passed my DELTA course, had a permanent job teaching English and had just bought my very first property in London. I bought a new laptop and it gave me the option to record, produce and publish my own podcast on iTunes. I had always wanted to be a radio DJ. As a child I had produced numerous fake radio shows with my brother on our cassette recorder, and I had always loved listening to radio, podcasts and comedy CDs. It was my dream to make the same kind of content, and have an audience of people like me, who would lie on the sofa, listening to someone else’s words, being transported to different worlds of imagination.

For a while I tried my hand at making comedy videos on YouTube but they didn’t get many views. Why would anyone look at my comedy videos and short films anyway? I didn’t have an audience.

As an English teacher I’d been working for about 8 years. I’d met hundreds and hundreds of learners of English from all around the world, and had learned some key things. I knew that almost everybody wanted to learn English – the vast majority of the people in the world really. I’d learned how to engage the attention of a class full of people. I knew what subjects interested them, what language difficulties they had, and how to stand out as an English teacher. Also, as a recently diploma qualified professional I had some proper know-how when it came to helping other people learn my language.

What I realised was that there was a potentially huge audience in the world, I had something to offer to them, and I had the means to do it, so what could possibly stop me from launching my own podcast for learners of English? The idea sounded perfect really. I could do it all on my laptop. I could plan my episodes around engaging topics, I could make sure I included some fairly rigorous sequences about language and language learning and I could find ways of making the content funny too. I even had my own flat where I could record episodes of the podcast without being disturbed. Conditions were perfect.

I come from what I consider to be a BBC family. My Dad was a BBC man for about 30 years. We grew up in a BBC household. We never watched ITV, the commercial television station which was the BBC’s main rival. The BBC logo was everywhere in our house on pens, folders, notepads, and mugs. I would often hear my Dad talk about producing the news, what he thought of different presenters and how to deliver information as a broadcaster. It felt quite natural to do it myself on the podcast.

Also, I’d always loved stand-up comedy. When I lived in Japan at the start of my career as a teacher, I had no television so I used to listen to comedy CDs over and over again. My Mum used to send me recordings of Eddie Izzard, Bill Bailey, Monty Python, Peter Cook, Bill Hicks and Steve Martin and I used to devour them, listening over and over again.

I came back to London after a couple of years in Japan, just as the podcasting boom took off for the first time. I continued what had now become a tradition of lying on my bed listening to someone talking through my speakers, usually a stand-up comedian.

I’d always harboured a desire to try stand-up myself, but it wasn’t until my girlfriend at the time suggested I do a stand-up comedy course (yes they exist in London) that I first picked up a mic, stood on stage and tried to make a room full of people laugh. The relationship with the girlfriend didn’t last, but the stand-up comedy did. I’m still doing stand-up now (in fact I have a gig in about one hour) and I’m glad to say that feeds into my podcast a lot as I attempt to use comedy, from time to time, to make my audience laugh, and to reduce the so-called “affective filter” which can really get in the way of language learning.

So that is what I brought to my new project, called Luke’s English Podcast, years of experience, qualifications, enthusiasm, a BBC background, and some skills as a stand-up comedian. I finally have my own radio programme.

Over the last five years I have managed to keep producing regular episodes of my show, and it brings in lots of listeners particularly in Russia, which is my number one country for downloads and website visits.

You may be wondering at this point what the website address is for Luke’s English Podcast, and I am very glad to tell you! It’s teacherluke.co.uk. There you’ll find loads of content, including some very popular YouTube videos, but mainly it is a place to present episodes of my podcast, which is also available on iTunes.

The vast majority of my content is in audio form, and I upload podcast episodes about once a week. Each episode is one hour long on average, and the English level of my audience ranges from intermediate to proficiency.

Yes, that’s right, my episodes are usually about one hour long. Sometimes people are surprised at that length as the usual model for learning English podcasts is for them to be short, like the BBC’s “6 Minute English” podcast. The conventional wisdom here is that short episodes are easier to digest, they don’t overwhelm learners with too much content, they are convenient for listening at lunch time or during a quick break from work or studies, and they can be adapted by teachers for classroom use.

I decided quite quickly that I would take the conventional wisdom and chuck it out of the window. My episodes would be longer, like the podcasts that I loved to listen to. By 2009 I’d been listening to podcasts regularly, particularly one called “Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo’s Film Review”. That is one of the most popular podcasts in the UK, and is produced by the BBC. In a nutshell it features two guys reviewing films, but it’s not really a film review show, it’s a lot more than that. Reviewing films gives their podcast a structure and a theme but the show is, sometimes quite profoundly, about life in general. It’s an intensely rewarding listening experience, especially if you’re a long-term listener. Listening to Mark and Simon wittering on about films is life-affirming, entertaining, touching, educational and more. It makes you feel like you’re part of a close community of people who share a certain outlook on life, and who all are aware of the little in-jokes and references from that show. I wanted Luke’s English Podcast to be like that.

Having longer episodes gave me much more freedom. I could go much deeper into subjects I wanted to talk about. I could achieve more in each episode. I have never really understood why learning-English podcast episodes should be short. There doesn’t seem to be any good reason for it. Mp3 players and iPhone apps are programmed to remember where you stopped listening. So, if your journey to work is only 30 minutes – no problem. Listen to 30 minutes of an episode, and then press ‘stop’. When you come home from work your mp3 player will remember where you were in the episode, even if you listen to some music in the meantime. Also, longer episodes mean more content, and what is wrong with that? So, despite the fact that every now and then I read comments that say my episodes are a bit long, I maintain that they’re exactly the right length for what I want to achieve with my podcast.

The other thing I decided from the beginning was that my episodes would not be scripted. A lot of other podcast episodes for learners of English are scripted, and I know why. Writing the script beforehand means that you can easily add target language into a conversation, you can properly prepare grammar or vocabulary explanations and it means that a full transcript is available for listeners when the episodes are published. But, when I listen to these scripted episodes (such as the BBC’s 6 Minute English) they just sound fake, awkward and unengaging. Why should English learning materials be dull or patronising? Why make podcast episodes contrived, full of bad acting and unnatural speech patterns? Again, I can’t think of any really good reasons. Surely, it is better to present English in the most authentic way possible: by recording without a script.

Admittedly, some of my episodes are scripted, but for the most part I’ve kept them spontaneous, and I think that has really benefited the podcast. They sound more engaging, natural and they present language more authentically. I think it gives the programme a lot of personality. There are times when I have made mistakes, stumbled over my words or forgotten what I was talking about, and I left them all in the published episodes, for the sake of authenticity. In fact, this sort of thing is precisely what my listeners love about my podcast. They love the fact that it’s real and spontaneous. The fact that I have total creative control, and that I make sure that podcasting is fun for me, have made LEP (Luke’s English Podcast) unique and valuable.

I have found that the episodes my listeners love the most are the ones in which I take risks and am spontaneous. I can do things on LEP that I definitely wouldn’t do in schools where I work as an employee. If I want to devote a whole episode to Star Wars, or zombies, I can. If I want to talk about all the rudest words in the English language, I can. If I want to just talk and talk about nothing in particular, with no plan, I can! And it seems the more I do that, the more my listeners appreciate it.

The atmosphere of total freedom is really healthy for my podcast, I believe. For example, a couple of years ago I just decided to improvise a story on the podcast, based on an old joke I used to tell as a child. The joke normally takes about 2 minutes to tell, but I decided to try and stretch the story to about 30-40 minutes of podcasting time. I recorded the episode with the microphone in my hand, walking around the kitchen, improvising jokes, dialogues and scenarios. The story became an epic adventure, with me being chased around the world by a huge pink gorilla, using various modes of transport. I wasn’t sure if I should publish it, because I thought people would think I was crazy, and that they wouldn’t see the learning value in it. That episode (125. The Pink Gorilla Story) is one of the most popular ones I’ve ever done. My listeners love it, and now I try to do improvised stories as much as possible. It’s so fun, full of risks (I have no idea what I’m going to say next sometimes) but I think it’s truly rewarding for my listeners because it creates a listening experience which totally captures people’s attention. If they know it is being created there and then, in the moment, there’s so much more drama involved, and that makes people pay attention. Sometimes people tell me they are addicted to my episodes, and that when they listen, time just flies by. Apparently, the length of my episodes proves not to be such an issue.

All of my feelings about this are backed up by academic research. I am sure you are familiar with the work of Stephen Krashen. His idea is that language is effectively acquired by learners when they engage with language in a meaningful way, and that the more comprehensible input a learner is exposed to, the better. That pretty much sums up the thinking behind my approach to the podcast, however I realise that it’s not just as simple as that, and I try my best to vary my teaching method in my episodes. Sometimes I focus on grammar, providing colourful examples and sample sentences which I encourage my listeners to repeat to themselves. Sometimes I teach vocabulary in a fairly traditional way. Sometimes I devote episodes of the podcast to giving general advice on learning English, with a view to improving my listeners’ metacognitive strategies. The whole package, which includes over 280 episodes to date, covers a really wide range of content, language input, comprehensible input, interviews with native speakers, comedy, music and more. I’m really proud of it, and this year I have decided that I finally deserve to make some money from my endeavours, but this is the tricky part. So far I have focused mainly on producing good content, hoping that it would speak for itself. It has done that to an extent. I have a healthy following and a large audience, but I must find ways of monetising my online project. So, taking LEP to the next level is my new challenge, while also producing regular episodes of the podcast as normal.

As English teachers yourselves, I suggest that my podcast could be a great resource that you can recommend to your students for use outside the classroom. It could be just another option, other than the BBC’s podcasts. If your students like it, hopefully they will get hooked and then they’ll find themselves with a healthy new habit in their lives. If they don’t like the podcast, no problem. I’ve always known that you can’t please all the people all the time, but you can do your best!

There’s so much more for me to tell you about, like the transcript writing project I have set up, which has listeners collaborating on transcriptions of my episodes using Google documents, and the award my podcast has won three times, but I have already written nearly 2,500 words here, and as I said, I have to go out and perform some stand-up comedy soon.

Just to bring this writing to a close, I should say that since starting my podcast in 2009 it has steadily grown in popularity. In the last year LEP was downloaded over 3,000,000 times in total, which is much higher than I expected when I first started. I would really like to continue and build my work into something larger. I believe I have a lot to offer as an online teacher, and podcasting may just be the beginning. Online teaching has given me freedom, creative control, an audience, my own radio show and an outlet for my comedy. I also know from all the messages I receive every day, especially from listeners in Russia, that my podcast has made a difference to the English of people all around the world. I hope that in the future I will be able to make a living teaching like this, and I believe I can.

Thanks a lot for reading.

Luke

Tea4er.ru Q&A FINAL LIST

Dear readers of Tea4er.ru,

Earlier this year I was invited to write a post on this website describing my teaching career and my reasons for starting my own podcast for learners of English. I told you my personal story, and then you were invited to contribute questions as part of a competition. I could then choose some questions to respond to.

I was delighted to see over the weeks after posting my interview here that there were about 20 pages of questions from users of this website. It’s amazing to see how many responses there were, including interesting thoughts and ideas from so many bright minded people. I was asked to choose about 5 questions, but in the end I found it really hard to choose just 5 so I’ve written answers to many more than that! I hope that you enjoy reading my responses, and I’m sorry if your question was not included.

Would you like to listen to me answering your questions in a podcast episode? You could hear me give my answers orally. I may use your questions and my responses as the basis for a new episode of my podcast soon, so if you’d like to listen to that, check out my podcast over the next couple of weeks. I will probably upload the episode soon. Click here for more information www.teacherluke.co.uk

I hope you like reading my answers to your questions, and thanks for reading!

All the best,

Luke Thompson

Tatiana
Hello! I am very pleased to ask you a question.
I’m Spiridonova Tatiana Ivanovna, a teacher, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.

If you were on a desert island you would have the right to have only three things. What would they be?

Thank you.

Good luck! I wish you success.

Hi Tatiana,
Assuming I’m only allowed to have objects rather than abstract or intangible things (like hope, fortitude, good luck, knowledge of bushcraft) I would choose tools that could help me survive. The main thing would be a really good knife or machete. I’ve seen lots of survival shows on TV and the machete seems to be really important. I’d also want some really good rope. Can I have a boat, a helicopter or a laptop with remote internet access? No? Ok, for the third thing I’d like a drum kit, so I can just make loads of noise and beat out the rhythm of the universe on the beach at night under the stars alone. Music is almost as important to me as food and water. Thanks for your question!

I am Savisko Ksenia, a pupil, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.

Hello Luke!

I suppose you are keen on medicine. What do you think when any person is too ill. He sneezes very often. Can his eyes dash out during his sneezing?

Thank you!

Hi Savisko,
If a person sneezes a lot, will his eyes pop out? Is that your question?
I’ve heard people say that if you sneeze with your eyes open, that your eyes will pop out. I always assumed it was just a myth, and watching this video confirmed it to me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D5fJYHbK7k. But who knows, if you sneeze hard enough, maybe it’s possible! Thanks for your question Savisko!

I am Vlasova Marina, a pupil, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.

Hello Luke!

One day I was walking down the street. Suddenly a black cat jumped out in front of me. At first I did not pay attention to it. But after an hour or two, I lost my phone. And then I remembered about the superstition which is connected with black cat. I have never believed in omens, but after the accident I started to believe in them. Do you believe in superstitions?

Thank you!

Hi Vlasova,
Interesting question and I’ve been preparing a podcast episode about superstitions which I plan to publish soon. So, do I believe in superstitions like this? Not really, no. Let’s look at the example of your phone and the black cat. Do you really believe that the black cat caused you to lose your phone? What evidence is there that the cat is the direct cause of the loss of the phone. Surely it’s just a coincidence. What’s happened is something called ‘confirmation bias’, which basically means the tendency to interpret events in a way that supports beliefs or theories. I would hypothesise that there is no causal connection between the cat and the loss of your phone. I think you’re creating the connection between the cat and the phone. Can it really be true that cats possess magic powers? What form does this magic take? I believe what happened is that you saw a cat, then later you lost your phone. There’s no connection between the two events, but because superstitions offer us an answer to events we don’t really understand or have control over (like the unexpected loss of something valuable) you make a connection between the two things that isn’t there. So, unless you can provide me with reliable evidence of the power of cats over phones, I don’t believe it! Superstitions are our brain’s way of answering unanswered questions, like – why do bad things happen for no reason, or what happens after we die?
Thanks for your question!

*AUDIBLE.COM MID-ROLL FEATURE*

I am Shibitov Artem, a pupil, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.

Hello Luke!

If you had a time machine where would you go?
Thank you.

Hi Shibitov,
I would stay in exactly the same position, but at a different time.
In fact, if I did travel through time, even by just a few minutes, I would probably end up floating in space because the time machine would simply deposit me at the same position in the universe but at a different time, and because the planets and stars in the universe are constantly moving, the earth would be in a different position and I would end up lost in space, dead. So, a time machine is no good. You need a machine that travels through both time and space simultaneously, like the TARDIS from the TV show DOCTOR WHO. That would allow you to travel into the past or future, but make sure you travelled to the right position in space so that you arrive safely on earth.
Thanks for your question!

I am Zimmer Edik, a pupil, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.

Hello Luke!

Have you watched the film “The Star Wars”? If yes, did you like it? What episode impressed you most of all?
Thank you!

Hi Zimmer,
I’m a massive Star Wars fan. I’ve seen the original film (episode 4) at least 100 times. I was mildly obsessed by it when I was a child. I did a podcast episode all about Star Wars not long ago, and I talked about the subject for about 90 minutes. You can listen to that episode here https://teacherluke.co.uk/2014/12/02/241-star-wars/. Thanks for the question!

I am Danil Mahno, a pupil, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.
Hello Luke!
Would you like to be a book which is opened by people every day?
Thank you.

Hi Danil,
If I was a book, I would like to be opened by people every day because that would probably mean I was an interesting book full of worthwhile things to read and think about. However, if I was opened every day that might mean my pages would start falling apart after some time! I’m not sure I’d like that. It’s also an interesting question for me because I would very much like to write a book one day and then I certainly hope it would be opened by people every day. Thanks for the question!

Hello Luke!
I’m teacher of English and Spanish and I’d like to ask for advice. The thing is that while teaching we teach our students to use web sites and English blogs, but some of them start just surfing the Net and forget the purpose of switching the computer on. How can I limit them in the Net and make them only study?
Hi! (I’m not sure who answered this question)
I totally understand the problem of our students surfing the web during classes, or being distracted by their phones, or Facebook. It’s a tricky area because these days young people live their lives in constant interaction with the internet. Some of my colleagues ban laptops, phones and tablets from their classrooms. I think that’s a fine choice as long as you’re prepared to act like a police officer in class, as well as a teacher. I personally attempt to capture the interest of my students in every class I teach, so that they choose not to go online. I’m not always successful – some students still end up going online during my classes, which frustrates me a lot. Firstly, it’s rude for them to not be listening or taking part, secondly it means that they might be finding my class boring (which is almost an unbearable thought, but is nevertheless a reality) and thirdly it means that the whole class slows down and becomes less effective because some people are just not following what you’re saying. Still, I think we have to accept a certain amount of multitasking in our classrooms these days. Using the internet while also performing other tasks is a normal part of daily life these days, so we should let it happen in our English classes, in order to make classroom interactions more realistic. Nevertheless, it’s totally unproductive and damaging if students are just being distracted by social networks, especially if it’s in their native language and not English. So, here are a few options: 1. Ban computers in class completely. 2. Allow computers but ban social networks and other stuff that is not related to the lesson. 3. Accept that a certain amount of internet browsing is a normal part of any student’s problem solving process and encourage them to use the internet to help them learn. In all cases, I think it helps if the students are really engaged and interested in what you’re doing in class. It’s also a question of constantly trying to involve them, and maintaining levels of respect. I’d imagine that if your classes are really great, the students won’t want to spend time on the internet. That’s our challenge as teachers today, in my opinion. Thanks for your question.

Задайте ваш вопрос Люку Томпсону 2 мес. назад
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I am Arthur Borisov, a pupil,Tavricheskaya school number 1

Hello, Luke!
If you had super abilities in what sphere would you use them?
Thank you.

Hi Arthur,
I suppose it depends on what kind of super abilities I have. If I was strong and able to fly or go really fast I’d probably end up fighting crime or rescuing people like Superman or Batman. If I was able to read people’s minds or affect their thoughts I’d be tempted to help people recover from mental illnesses or neuroses, or simply to make them feel confident enough to do anything they want. I think I’d probably use my powers to get rich too, but I’d try to help people. As we known from Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility” so I think that if I had super abilities I think I would also be obliged to use them carefully and with some sense of social justice. Thanks for

I am Anastasia Gofman, a pupil, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.

Hello Luke!

They say that there are aliens between us and some of them are working in the government of some countries. If it is true would you like to fly on the UFO?

Thank you.

Hi Anastasia,
I love the way that your question focuses more on the possibility of a UFO ride than on the ramifications of aliens working in the government! Anyway, I’ve heard lots of conspiracy theories which state that the world is run by shapeshifting lizard aliens from another planet. I’m pretty sceptical about that to be honest. I think it’s quite mad, in fact, to believe it. There isn’t any good evidence for it, although I do believe it’s quite possible that the world is basically run by a few very powerful individuals – heads of corporations, leaders of influential societies, that kind of thing. But, aliens in the government? Hmm, I think there may be alien life in the universe, but I’m not convinced that they’re here on earth or in fact working for the government, although I sometimes wonder about David Cameron (joke). But, if there were aliens on earth, and I met them and they offered me a ride on the UFO of course I would love to try that. It would be absolutely fascinating to see their technology and to experience a totally new kind of travelling. The thing is, I’d be afraid that they’d abduct me and stick an uncomfortable probe into my body somehow. I hope that answers your question!

Hello Luke!
I know that you are a lecturer. And, just imagine, you have a choice to make: all your students will become responsible and begin always to listen to you attentively, or you will receive one million dollars. Which will you choose?
Thanks in advance.

Hello (sorry, I don’t know who wrote this)
Well, I think that the first option is perhaps impossible – I can’t imagine a situation in which absolutely 100% of the people in the room are listening to me 100% of the time. There’s always someone who is drifting off, thinking about something else, and I don’t mind that too much. If everyone was 100% attentive, that might not be so great. For example, if I made one mistake, everyone would notice it! Also, I quite like the feeling that my students have independent minds and I don’t necessarily want to rob them of their free thought. I’d like them to listen to me because they find me interesting, not because I’ve cast a spell on them to make them attentive. That sounds a bit like mind control. So, I’ll be glad to have the one million dollars please! Thanks for the question.

Marina Bulakhova
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hello Luke! Don’t you find that the profession of a teacher is very deforming? I mean, it has a great influence on a personality, which will, certainly, show itself especially at old age. “He/she has been teaching for a long time”, – it sounds like a diagnosis, which presupposes moralizing, excessive strictness, and other negative manifestations. Isn’t it really so to your mind?

Hi Marina,
I think this is particularly true for people who teach children because it can be very demanding and forces you to be stricter than normal. I suppose this can take its toll. I think that doing any job will have an effect on you, so this kind of thing comes with the territory. As a teacher of adults mainly, I would say that it’s involves less strictness, but more openness, imagination, patience, creativity and the ability to listen. I hope that as I get older I will just have enough energy to keep up! Thanks for the question.

Roman Linskiy
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hello, Luke!

What difficulties have you had with your students and colleges? If any at all? How have you tried to settle them since you became a famous teacher?

Thank you!

Hi Roman,
I’ve had plenty of difficulties with my students – mostly as part of the challenge of helping them improve their English. A lot of it is about motivation. It might be necessary to work with people’s individual problems and approaches to learning. That’s a normal part of the process. Sometimes you find trouble with students in that their personalities come into play. Normally this is really great because most people are interesting and basically good people. Every now and then you come across someone who likes to make life difficult for others, or who simply can’t operate within a group of others, with some level of intimacy as part of the learning process. Sometimes personalities flare up and you might find friction between students in a class or even with the teacher. I’ve had few problems with colleagues because for the most part English teachers get on with each other. We’re all sharing the same situation so there tends to be some camaraderie in the teachers’ room. I did a couple of podcasts about the challenges I’ve faced as a teacher. You can listen to them here https://teacherluke.co.uk/2013/09/02/145-nightmare-teaching-experiences-part-1/ Thanks for your message!

END OF PART ONE

281. Misheard Lyrics

45 Replies

Do you ever listen to songs and completely mishear the lyrics? I do it all the time. In fact, everybody does! Let’s listen to some song extracts in which the lyrics don’t quite sound as the singer intended.

[DOWNLOAD]
Jimi Hendrix – Purple Haze
Sounds like: “Excuse me, while I kiss this guy”
The real lyrics: “Excuse me while I kiss the sky”
The connection of ‘this’ and ‘guy’ makes the /g/ and /k/ sound almost exactly the same. In fact, I think “kiss this guy” and “kiss the sky” are identical.

Do you ever do Karaoke, see the song lyrics on the screen and realise you’ve been hearing all the words wrong, all these years? Or do you wonder if maybe the guy who did the karaoke subtitles didn’t have a perfect command of English and misheard all the lyrics?

Well, if you do often mishear lyrics, worry not – it’s really common and it happens to everyone! There are loads of songs like that for me. For years I thought Sting was singing about sausages in this song. Is it just me or is he singing about salami?

Of course, he’s actually singing “So lonely”.

So, let’s listen to some song extracts and try to understand exactly which words are being sung. Let’s see if you mishear them too, and we’ll consider why they might be easy to get wrong.

Misheard Lyrics

Jimi Hendrix – Purple Haze
Sounds like: “Excuse me, while I kiss this guy”
The real lyrics:
The connection of ‘this’ and ‘guy’ makes the /g/ and /k/ sound almost exactly the same. In fact, I think “kiss this guy” and “kiss the sky” are identical.

Nickleback – How You remind me
Sounds like: “cos little women must have damn near killed you”
The real lyrics: “because livin’ with me must have damn near killed you”
“With me” can sound like “women”. “wi’me”
“Living” can sound like “little” when you remember that the /t/ sounds are often softened in US English.

The Stone Roses – I Wanna Be Adored
Sounds like: “I wanna be a door”
Real lyrics: “I wanna be adored”
He’s really keen to be a door. Because the ending of the word trails off, it’s quite easy to imagine he’s not adding a /d/ sound at the end.

Leona Lewis: “Bleeding Love”. (1min)
Sounds like: “You call me your banana”
The real lyrics: ??

Duffy – Mercy
Sounds like: “You got me begging you for birdseed”
The real lyrics: “You got me begging you for mercy”

Eagles – Hotel California
“What a nice surprise, when your rabbit dies” (3.25)
The real lyrics:

Rolling Stones – Start Me Up
Sounds like: “In Yugoslavia you’ll never starve”
The real lyrics: “If you start me up I’ll never stop”

Sister Sledge – We Are Family
“Just let me staple the vicar”
?
“We’re giving love in a femidom”
?

Bon Jovi – Living on a Prayer
“It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not”
“It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not”
The /m/ in ‘make it’ can quite easily sound like an /n/ sound, and the /t/ in “make it” sounds like a /d/, so there you go…

Billy Ocean – When The Going Gets Tough
“You can go and get stuffed.”
“When the going gets tough.”
The beginning part of the phrase doesn’t work, but “and get stuffed” sounds pretty good!
“Gets tough” sounds almost exactly like “Get stuff”.

Miley Cyrus – Wrecking Ball
“I came in like a rainbow”
“I came in like a wrecking ball”
I think this is because she doesn’t sing it clearly, and the vowel sounds are the same. Also, when you stretch out a note, it’s usually a vowel sound and the consonant sounds might get shortened. Singing it with passion extends the vowels, and the consonants disappear into a slightly ambitious zone.

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Creedence – Bad Moon Rising
“There’s a bathroom on the right.”
“There’s a bad moon on the rise.”
All the vowel sounds are the same. The rest is some imagination or perhaps some connected speech.

Deep Purple – Smoke on the water
“Small cousin Walter, is firing this guy.”
“Smoke on the water, fire in the sky”
There’s another example of “the sky” sounding like “this guy”.
“Fire in” sounds a lot like “firing”
“Smoke on the water” – you need a bit of imagination to hear “Small cousin Walter” but it’s there!

The Cars – Drive
“We can’t go on, thinking, nothing’s wrong – pork pie”
No idea what he’s actually singing…

Michael Jackson – You are not alone
“Your burgers are the best”
Again, I have no idea what he’s on about.

Celine Dion – My Heart does Go On
“I believe that the hot dogs go on”
“I believe that the heart does go on”
We use “does” for emphasis, or to insist something. In this case, it makes it sound like she’s singing about junk food.

Led Zep – Stairway to Heaven
“There’s a wino down the road”
“And as we wind on down the road”
The ‘d’ in “wind on” disappears as the /n/ sound and /d/ sounds fuse together with the same tongue movement.

Seal – A Kiss From A Rose
“and my eyes become lager…”
For me, it just sounds like he’s saying “lager”. I expect he wants to say “larger” but I think it’s definitely “lager”.

Air – All I Need
“Have a wank”
“How do I?”
Ok so she’s actually singing, “How do I?” but just a little bit of imagination for the /k/ at the end, and you’ll never be able to hear this song in the same way again.

Brian Adams – Summer of 69
“I got my first real sex dream”
“I got my first real six string”
Sometimes a /dr/ sound can be similar to a /tr/ sound, especially when they follow a /ks/ sound, like in “six”. So, “six string” can sound like “sex dream”.

Alicia Keys – New York
“New York – Concrete Jungle Wet Dream Tomato”
“Concrete jungle what dreams are made of”
It just sounds like “wet dream tomato” to me. Why is she singing that?

Ray Parker Junior
“Who you gonna call? Those bastards!”
“Ghostbusters”
The vowel sounds are pretty similar, and the emphatic way it is said. They all contribute to a funny misunderstanding!

Eiffel 65 – I’m Blue
“I’m blue I will pee on a guy, if I was green I would die.
I think they’re just singing nonsense and the human brain tends to impose order on nonsense, so your brain searches for meaning. This is the closest your brain can come up with. For me, it improves the song immeasurably.

Beastie Boys – Intergalactic
“I’m having a big shit, I’m having a big shit…”
“Another dimension”
The /th/ in “another” can sound like a /v/ sound, and the /shun/ sound in “dimension” can easily sound like “shit”.

Shania Twain – That don’t impress me much (2.20)
“I can’t believe you kiss your cock at night”
“I can’t believe you kiss your car goodnight”
“Car goodnight” can easily sound like “cock at night” because the /g/ of “goodnight” can sound like the /k/ in “cock”, and then “goodnight” sounds like “at night” because of the old /d/ /t/ thing between “good” and “at”.
Anyway, no need to explain it. Just enjoy it!

280. The UK’s Top 13 Superstitions

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Hello listeners, this episode is all about superstitions. Every country and culture seems to have particular superstitions. They can be quite a large part of the life or culture of that place. For example, if you’ve been living in a different country for a while, you’ve probably noticed that certain things are part of the common belief system, and that will no doubt involve some superstitions. Even if you don’t really believe in them, it’s quite useful to know about the main superstitions in a country, so that you can avoid doing something wrong (like opening an umbrella indoors in the UK) or you can just follow what is being talked about and understand all the reference points in conversation, and perhaps add your own comments as part of every day conversation – such as using expressions “touch wood” or “fingers crossed” – both of which are very commonly used phrases which are connected to superstitious beliefs. Now, since Luke’s English Podcast tends to focus on all things British or all things UKish – what are the top superstitions in the UK? What are those things that many people in the UK follow as every day superstitions? Well, in this episode I’m going to go through a list of 13 superstitions, unlucky for some, which are commonly held in the UK. We’ll also consider where these superstitions come from and why people still hold on to them. Join me! And in the comments section you can tell me if you share these superstitions in your countries, what the most common superstitions are where you come from, and generally what you think about superstitious beliefs.

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What’s a superstition?
It’s the belief in unnatural causality – the idea that one thing causes another thing to happen, even though there is no scientific evidence to explain it, for example the idea that crossing your fingers helps to bring good luck, or the idea that if you talk about the devil he will magically appear. These are ‘leaps of faith’ – beliefs that require you to suspend your need for evidence and just believe something that has no rational explanation, and so many of us make leaps of faith on a daily basis – some more than others, but even the most rational person can be influenced by superstitious beliefs and behaviour.

I don’t believe in superstitions because I like to believe I’m a modern, scientifically minded person. But saying that, I do find that from time to time my behaviour betrays my rational thinking. For example, I don’t like to open umbrellas in the house, walk under ladders, and I often will touch something that’s made of wood and say “touch wood” to avoid tempting fate. I can’t help it! I know that there’s no evidence that superstitions are real, but sometimes I just can’t help acting on some superstitious beliefs. Of course, I’m not the only one.

So, let’s consider the UK’s most common superstitions, and of course I would be delighted if all of the LEPsters in different countries around the world shared their superstitions too. What are the superstitions in your countries? What do you think of the superstitions I’m describing in this episode, and generally – do you believe in any superstitions? Why? Share your thoughts and practise your English too.

Here’s a list of the UK’s most common superstitions, with some explanations too.

Two-Black-billed-magpies-001 1. Magpies

What’s a magpie?
Black and white birds
Quite big, long tail
Related to crows (corvid family)
Quite noisy
They steal shiny things.

Magpies have different superstitions based on how many you see, as this 18th century poem explains:

One for sorrow
Two for joy
Three for a girl
Four for a boy
Five for silver
Six for gold
Seven for a secret, never to be told

This relates to the number of magpies you see. Most people know at least the first two lines of the rhyme.
I’m not superstitious, but even I find that if I see one magpie, I often will look around and try to find another one to make myself feel better.

2. Mirrors

Watch out when you’re moving house or doing some DIY and you break a mirror – if that happens you’ll get 7 years of bad luck.

What’s weird about mirrors? Why are we superstitious about breaking them?
Mirrors were once believed to be windows into other worlds – often worlds where things were the wrong way around.
People may also have been frightened that a person’s reflection shatters when a mirror is broken.
One theory is that mirrors contained a person’s soul, so if you break the mirror, you break the person’s soul.
People used to believe some pretty stupid stuff!
It just shows, that superstitions come from our general fear and mistrust of things we don’t understand. If it’s amazing and unexplained, then people are likely to make up all kinds of stupid stuff, e.g. those superstitious emails. http://www.pandasecurity.com/mediacenter/social-media/if-you-break-the-chain-you-will-have-bad-luck-for-the-rest-of-your-life/

Some people also believe that mirrors should be covered up during births and funerals, for fear the person’s soul might escape through them to another realm.

There’s also an urban myth that if you look into a mirror and say “bloody mary” three times, you’ll conjure up the ghost of a woman called Bloody Mary. This comes from old folklore – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloody_Mary_(folklore)

3. Umbrellas
Is it a surprise that there’s a superstition related to umbrellas in the UK?
Can you guess what the superstition is?
You might be thinking something like this: “If you don’t bring an umbrella when you go out, it’s unlucky”.
That’s not exactly right.

The myth is that it’s unlucky to open an umbrella indoors. This is probably related to the fact that umbrellas used to be quite awkward, large and difficult to open, and since our houses used to be quite small and cramped, there was a chance that you’d break something, or knock something over with an open umbrella in the house.

So, be aware that if you come into a house or building in the UK and leave your umbrella open, perhaps on the floor to dry off, the Brits might be stressing out quietly.

Again, this is still something that I can’t help feeling slightly uncomfortable about when I see, which is not logical, but it’s hard to completely escape these superstitious feelings.

On the subject of umbrellas – another cultural myth is that Brits always have umbrellas with them. That’s not exactly true.
Equally, I’ve met plenty of foreigners who are surprised that we don’t all carry umbrellas – they are surprised by the frequency with which we get caught in the rain. I think this is due to the unpredictability of British weather. It’s hard to be prepared all the time!

4. Crossed fingers

This is a way to ensure that lucky things will happen. It really means “Let’s hope it happens!” or “Let’s hope for good luck”.
“Fingers crossed!” = good luck!
“I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you today!”

Also, crossing your fingers is considered a way to get away with telling a lie. This isn’t related to the good luck superstition.
For example, if someone says “I won’t tell anyone” but they secretly have their fingers crossed behind their back, it means that they’re lying!

Is it the same in your country?

5. Don’t step on the pavement lines.

When we were kids we used to say “Don’t step on the cracks or the bears will get you”. What bears?!

Why is it necessary to tell kids that there are wild animals waiting around the corner, who hate it when you step on the cracks between paving stones?
Truth be told – I think we never really believed the thing about the bears. It was just part of a game where you had to avoid walking on the cracks.
When we were kids we used to make up those kinds of games all the time. Not for superstitious reasons, but just for fun. That’s what kids do. For my brother and me it was always sharks and lava. We used to put cushions on the floor between the chairs and the sofa, and those cushions were little stepping stones or islands. All the carpet between the cushions was either lava or shark infested waters. If you so much as stepped on the carpet you’d be killed by the lava or eaten by the sharks. Then we’d run around climbing and jumping on the sofa, chairs and cushions. Good times.

Back to the superstition…

Another rhyme is:
‘Don’t step on a line or you’ll fall and break your spine! Don’t step on a crack or you’ll fall and break your back!’

It seems that bad luck is waiting everywhere for you! Just walking down the street in the wrong way can cause you to have a serious injury or even worse to be attacked by dangerous animals.

Reasons:
Cracks in the pavement can be dangerous. You could trip and fall. Could you really break your spine?
In the past, the pavement was probably less even or safe than now. Today you can even sue the council for an accident caused by an uneven pavement.

6. Numbers

What list of superstitions would be complete without something about numbers?
Lucky and unlucky numbers are common in many countries and cultures – and the UK is no exception.

Seven is usually seen as the luckiest number. Here’s some info on that from PsychicLibrary.com http://psychiclibrary.com/beyondBooks/lucky-number-7

By far the unluckiest number is of course 13 – especially the date Friday 13th. This goes back to the Christian belief that the 13th person at the Last Supper with Jesus was Judas, who betrayed him and led him to be crucified, and ‘unlucky Friday’ was the day Jesus died.

13 is such a powerful superstition that many hotels don’t have a 13th floor, football players don’t like to wear the number 13 and some people even take a day off work to avoid going outside on the 13th.

More details about 13 http://mentalfloss.com/article/23266/13-reasons-people-think-number-13-unlucky and here http://www.writing.ucsb.edu/sites/secure.lsit.ucsb.edu.writ.d7/files/sitefiles/publications/2014%20Narula.pdf

Here is some interesting stuff I found from the pages linked above.

There’s a Norse legend that has 12 gods sitting down to a banquet when the 13th (uninvited) god, Loki, shows up. Loki killed one of the other gods, which led to events that eventually resulted in Ragnarok — the death of a bunch of gods, a slew of natural disasters, and the eradication of everything on earth save for two human survivors. There’s a lot more to the story than that, but you get the general idea.

Traditionally, there used to be 13 steps leading up the gallows. There’s also a legend that a hangman’s noose traditionally contained 13 turns, but it’s actually more like eight.

Apollo 13 is the only unsuccessful moon mission (intended to get men on the moon, anyway) thus far. An oxygen tank exploded and the survival of the astronauts on board was pretty touch-and-go for several days, but they did all come home safely in the end (but you already knew that).

There’s an old superstition that says if you have 13 letters in your name, you’re bound to have the devil’s luck. Silly, yes, but slightly more convincing when you consider that Charles Manson, Jack the Ripper, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all contain 13 letters (I know, I know, what about their middle names?).

Kids officially become teenagers at the age of 13, and we all know that’s a scary phase.

There may also be a mathematical theory behind it too.
Throughout history, the number twelve has long been connected to the idea of “completeness.” There were twelve gods on Mount Olympus, twelve signs of the zodiac, twelve months in a year, and twelve apostles. Therefore, people viewed 13 as 12+1, or “completeness plus one” (Lachenmeyer 24). This idea of being one away from completeness gave people a sense of uncertainty and unpredictability; thus they associated the number 13 with these feelings (Lachenmeyer 24).

Generally, the whole idea of superstition is fascinating to me. Why do we believe in these things, even when we know they’re not true? Or is there some actual truth in it? For example, if you stay in room 13 in a hotel, are you more likely to experience bad luck? Is this just the placebo effect? I mean, if you feel you’ve been cursed by bad luck, will you be more likely to accept bad things happening to you?

Let’s look at some possibilities.
John Smith stays in room 13. He’s superstitious.
He then believes he’s been cursed.
When he’s driving he’s sure that he’s going to have an accident.
This expectation leads him to somehow make it happen – he subconsciously proves his thinking to be correct.
It sounds like nonsense to me.

Here’s another idea.
John stays in room 13 and is superstitious.
He then drives in his car the next day and has an accident. Someone pulled out of a junction without looking and hit him.
He decides that it happened because of the hotel room he’d stayed in.
But there’s absolutely no evidence to suggest it was the hotel room. It probably would have happened anyway.
However, there’s no way of proving it. We can’t go back in time to do a test.
But John needs an explanation. He doesn’t want to believe that the universe is basically chaotic and random, or at least far more complex than his head can contain.
So, he chooses to believe in the superstition because it makes it easier to live in the world. It’s easier and more comfortable for John to believe in superstition than to know that some things are just completely beyond his control or understanding. It’s not pleasant to know that some things are not within your own control. So the superstition allows him to get some more control. He feels that he can control the chaos slightly. Next time he won’t stay in room 13.
I’m sure this accounts for a lot of our beliefs. We believe things like superstition, conspiracy theories or even god, because it explains unanswered questions and allows us to hide from the fact that the universe is chaotic, unordered and out of our control.

Have a nice day!

Let’s carry on with these superstitions because they’re fun to share!

7. Wishes: birthdays and bones

You’re celebrating your birthday in the UK and your English friends have bought you a cake. That’s not the bad luck – that you have to eat an English cake. No. Actually, our cakes are delicious thank you very much. No, the thing is, there are candles on the cake – of course there are. It’s a birthday cake. Everyone’s singing happy birthday. You have to blow out the candles – but here’s the thing – make sure you blow them all out with one breath because if you don’t – bad luck!

Also, what you really should do is close your eyes and make a wish first, then blow out the candles. If you manage to blow all the candles out with one breath, your wish will be granted. If not, you won’t get your wish. Of course, this has no validity to it at all – it’s just a superstition! But, it’s quite normal for people to say “Make a wish!” before blowing out the candles on a birthday cake.

Why do candles on birthday cakes have magic powers?

It’s not just birthday cakes though, it’s chickens or turkeys too, when they’re cooked for a Sunday roast. There’s a wishbone – it’s at the end of the neck of the bird (where the neck meets the body). It’s forked in shape – with two little bones forking out at angles. The tradition is for two people to hold onto the two bones with their little fingers, close their eyes, make a wish, then pull. The one whose bone doesn’t break (the one who ends up with the bigger piece) will have their wish granted.

8. Weddings

Weddings are already complicated enough because you have to worry about invitations, seating plans, food and wine choices, location, music, vows, transport options, speeches, the dress, the rings, the readings, the RSVPs, children, babysitters, flowers and photographer, but if that wasn’t complicated enough, there are also some superstitions to be aware of.

According to superstition, brides should wear ‘something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue’ as part of their outfit. Something old – could be a piece of old jewellery from a mother or grandmother, something new (obvious), something borrowed (obvious), and something blue (also obvious – it’s the colour). If not – then I suppose the wedding will somehow be cursed.

Then, there are loads of other things including the colour of the dress (one verse goes: ‘Married in white, you have chosen right; married in black, you’ll wish yourself back’), to the day of the wedding
‘Monday for health,
Tuesday for wealth,
Wednesday best of all,
Thursday for losses,
Friday for crosses,
Saturday for no luck at all’
to the things you see on the way to the ceremony (for brides, lambs are lucky but pigs are unlucky; for grooms, policemen and clergymen are lucky).

For more on UK wedding superstitions, click here http://www.corsinet.com/trivia/scary3.html

9. Ladders
Never walk under a ladder in the UK… Apparently it’ll bring bad luck because it used to be associated with walking to the hanging scaffold.

That sounds a bit grim doesn’t it.

The fact is, many Brits will cross the street rather than walk under a ladder, me included.
Perhaps there’s some common sense in this. Someone who is up the ladder might drop something on you.

10. Sneezing

You probably know it’s polite to say ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes in the UK, but did you know the custom might have originated in the sixth century? The theory is that sneezing was seen as the first symptom of the plague, so people would say a blessing to ward off the disease.

Another theory is that people thought sneezing stopped your heart, just for a moment, and saying ‘bless you’ would make sure your heart keeps beating.

11. Keep your shoes off the furniture

And not just because they’re dirty! According to one UK superstition, putting shoes on the table (especially brand new shoes) is bad luck. Some people even avoid putting shoes on chairs or footstools. One explanation is that in coal mining communities, particularly in north England in the 19th century, a miner’s shoes would be placed on the table if he was killed in an accident. The gesture then became a symbol of death.

12. Black cats
Confusingly, black cats can be both lucky and unlucky in the UK, depending on who you ask. Some people say it’s a sign that good things are to come if a black cat crosses your path… while for others, it’s a terrible warning.

How about this: Recently I was walking down the street and a black cat started walking across my path. It stopped and looked at me and got scared and ran away. What does that mean?

13. Rabbits
Rabbits are supposed to be good luck. For some reason keeping a rabbit’s foot will bring you luck. Some people have one in their pocket or attached to their key ring. That’s right – an actual dead rabbit’s foot. Just the foot. You can get fake ones now apparently. Weird isn’t it.

Saying the words ‘white rabbit’ are also supposed to bring good luck, especially at the beginning of the month.

Other things:
– Walking over 2 drains is lucky, but 3 is unlucky.
– Horseshoes
– Egg shells (crack them so the devil can’t make a boat – the devil must be a badass dude if he uses an eggshell as a boat)
– Making eye contact when you say “cheers” – this is growing in popularity, mainly because of the influence of other cultures where this is kind of a big deal.
– “Jinx”, when people say the same thing at the same time by accident, the first one to say “jinx” can avoid the bad luck.
– Lucky underpants
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279. Marcus Keeley / Northern Ireland / Accent (Part 3)

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Welcome back to part 3 of this short series. In parts 1 and 2 we got to know my guest a bit, and talked about Northern Ireland. Now in part 3 we are going to have a good listen to Marcus’s Northern Irish accent, compare the way he and I speak, and also learn a few common phrases and slang from Northern Ireland. Enjoy!

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3. Belfast accent (Check out this page on English in Northern Ireland from the fantastic British Library website)
I want my listeners to at least be aware of the accent(s) in Northern Ireland. Ideally they’ll be able to recognise it, or even copy it (just for fun). I also would like to find out about some of the specific phrases that are used in that part of the English speaking world.
– Is there a variety of accents in Northern Ireland?
– What is Ulster Scots?
– How would you describe your accent?
– Do people judge each other on their accents?
– What do you think of other accents from the UK? What do you assume about a person when you hear their accents? Is it fair to judge people by their accent?
Say some specific things: (These may be stereotypes)
“How now brown cow”
“Sit down”
“How are you?”
“I’m feeling a lot better now thank you”
“This is the first farm in the whole country to produce such excellent cheeses”
“She wanted to pull me into the pool”
“Can’t you see that the lift is completely full, you fool!”
“I can’t get this boot on my foot”
“I love coming to Paris because of the good food”
“I’m from Northern Ireland”
“I took the ferry to Derry and it just cost a penny”

How would you say these things, with specific phrases? (Check out this page with a list of common phrases spoken in Northern Ireland)
– Alright mate?
– I’m going to the shop, do you want anything.
– It’s a really hot day, isn’t it?
– I’m going to bed.
– Oh, go on!
– Look at her face! She’s got a weird looking face.
– Yes. (like, “yes, I’ll have a pint if you’re buying”)
– Come on, now.
– “Get a hold of yourself!”, “Wise up!”
– That film was really great. (or just, That was really great wasn’t it?)
– I agree, totally, good, etc. E.g. “Come on, this isn’t working. Let’s go to the pub” – “Yeah, totally”
– You stupid idiot!
– Could you give me a fag/cigarette?
– The police.
– Have you finished (your tea)?
– Are you mad?
– OK, I’m going home for dinner.
– Good, fine, great, etc. (dead on, cracker, sound)
– Alright, let’s have a little drink.
– Can you lot keep the noise down? I’m trying to sleep in here!
– She looks like your mum.
– What’s “spotty dog” (great) and “wind your neck in?”

Nadine from Girls Aloud “I’m going to give him a bath”

Frostbit Boy (The strongest Northern Irish accent I’ve ever heard!) Basically he’s talking about the difficulty of walking to school in the very cold weather.

Why are there so many accents in Northern Ireland?

278. Marcus Keeley / Northern Ireland (Part 2)

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In part 1 of this episode we met Marcus Keeley. In part 2 we are going to talk specifically about Northern Ireland, its culture, the atmosphere there and things you can do if you visit as a tourist. There will be a part 3 of this conversation, which will focus on the accents and dialects in Northern Ireland.

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2. Focus on Northern Ireland
My listeners, who are around the world, may not know very much about Northern Ireland. It’s often a bit overlooked – in my experience, a lot of people see the UK as just London, Edinburgh, Oxford & Cambridge, Manchester, Stonehenge and a few other famous spots, perhaps Wales. Northern Ireland is rarely mentioned. The UK is a bit confusing – people aren’t completely sure how Ireland and Northern Ireland fit into it. I expect people are aware that there has been trouble there in the past, with the IRA and the sectarian conflict, but there’s more to it than that. Let’s try and let my listeners know a bit more of what it’s really like to live in Northern Ireland.

– When you meet people from other countries, how much do they know about where you come from? Do you get the same kinds of reactions from people?
– Where is it?
– Capital city?
– What’s it like to live in Belfast? Is it a good place to live?
– What can people do or see if they visit?
– What’s the atmosphere like these days?
– Is there still a sense of trouble?
– Do your generation still hold on to that feeling?
– Do you remember what it used to be like?
– Why was there trouble in the first place?
– How do you see the future in Northern Ireland?
– How do you see The UK?
– What did you think of the election? Where does N. Ireland stand?
– What if The UK left the EU?

Nadine from Girls Aloud “I’m going to give him a bath”

277. A Chat with Marcus Keeley from Northern Ireland (Part 1)

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This episode is the first part of a conversation I had recently with a friend from Northern Ireland. It’s the first time I’ve had someone from that part of the UK before so it’s a chance to get to know him, his country and the accents you find there. In this one we get to know Marcus and give you a chance to hear his accent. There will be two more parts to this episode. Enjoy!

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Just before we start I would just like to say thank you for taking part in the quick survey that I launched on teacherluke.co.uk recently. I asked you to select the types of episode of the podcast that you prefer to listen to. You can still do it of course, by going to my website and finding the page for the survey in the archive of episodes. Just click ARCHIVE in the menu and then ARCHIVE – ALL EPISODES and you’ll find the survey between episodes 276 and 277. The feedback will help me to know what kind of thing you prefer in episodes of LEP. Of course, ultimately I have the final decision because I’m the boss – I’m Luke after all, and this is Luke’s English Podcast and I have the final say, like sometimes I think it’s worth presenting you with something more challenging here, more entertaining there, more topic focused here, more pronunciation focused there and so on. But anyway, take my survey and let me know what your preferences are – your thoughts will combine with mine and it can help me to provide the right content for you. Click here to take the survey.

Quick Quiz
Now, quick quiz – what are the four countries that make up the UK?
England, Scotland, Wales and… Northern Ireland.
How much do you know about Northern Ireland?
What’s the capital city? (Belfast)
Another big city there? (some call it Derry, others call it Londonderry)
Where exactly is it? (well, the clue is in the name because it’s the northern part of the island of Ireland – but it’s not part of The Republic of Ireland politically, it’s part of the UK) It’s not far from parts of Northern England and South Western Scotland.
What else? The Titanic was built there, Game of Thrones is filmed there, unfortunately it’s also known for ‘the troubles’ – violence, civil unrest and terrorism.

It’s home to about 1.8 million members of the UK, and they have their own culture, their own accents and their own particular dialect, and in a recent survey the ‘Northern Irish accent’ was voted the sexiest accent in the UK!

Today on the podcast I’m joined by Marcus Keeley, who is a stand-up comedian, improviser and poet who comes from Belfast in Northern Ireland. I know Marcus from the stand-up comedy scene in Paris, as he likes to come here from time to time to visit and do comedy shows with our team. He’s a friendy, interesting and funny gentleman and this is the first time I’ve had someone from Northern Ireland on this podcast.

So, this is one of those episodes in which I have a guest on the show and we explore a number of different things within the context of an authentic conversation between two native speakers of English. If you like you can imagine that you’re there with us, involved in our conversation. After all, we are speaking to you, and for the attention of you, and you can get involved by sharing your comments on the page for this episode.

What are you going to get in this episode?
– Generally, this conversation is presented for people who are either learning English or who have a particular interest in all things British, or perhaps both.
– First we’ll get to know Marcus a little bit, giving you a chance to train your ear to his accent and way of speaking
– We’ll talk about Northern Ireland, and really get to know this often overlooked part of the UK – including a bit of culture, history, politics, things you can do as a visitor and whatever else comes up in our chat
– You’re going to listen to the Belfast accent of Marcus, and talk a little bit about the variety of accents that you can hear in Northern Ireland
– You can learn a few common phrases from the dialect of English that you hear in Northern Ireland

As ever, you can read notes for this episode at teacherluke.co.uk, so if you want to do some studying, you can.
Also, you may hear bits of rude language in this episode – so, you have been warned.
We covered a lot of ground in this conversation, which lasted nearly two hours so this will be a two part episode I expect.
Please leave any comments or questions on the page for this episode.
That’s it – I hope you enjoy our conversation, and that you experience something you haven’t experienced before.
It might be tricky to follow everything Marcus says in this episode because you’re not familiar with his accent. I encourage you to keep going and just try to follow the general flow of the conversation! Best of luck. Let’s get started…

1. Get to know Markus a bit
Where are you from exactly?
What brings you to Paris?
What do you do?
How long have you been doing comedy?
How would you describe your act?
Stephen Nolan Podcast

Survey: What kind of episodes of LEP do you prefer?

40 Replies

Hi everyone,

This is not a full episode of Luke’s English Podcast, which is why the episode doesn’t have a number. In fact this one should appear in your RSS feed between episodes 276 and 277. This is just a quick chance for me to say hello to you, and to tell you about a quick survey that I’d like you to complete on my website. I’d like to encourage you to visit my website and give me a very quick bit of feedback regarding the type of episodes of this podcast that you prefer. If you find the page for this episode, entitled “Survey: What kind of episodes of LEP do you prefer” you’ll see a multiple choice survey. It’ll take you just a couple of minutes to do, and it will give me some really valuable feedback regarding episodes of Luke’s English Podcast.

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I’ve been doing LEP for over 6 years now. Most of my ideas come from my own inspiration, but I’ve always thought it was important to listen to my audience, to know your needs/preferences, and try to give you content that you really like and that meets your needs and interests.

I do various types of episode on this podcast, I like to keep it varied and I’m curious to know which ones you prefer. This can help me to maintain the standards of the podcast, keeping it useful and relevant to you as much as possible. Of course, I know that I can’t please all the people all the time, I can only please some of the people some of the time, and I believe that the first person I have to please is me – if I’m not happy with what I’m doing then it’s not worth doing at all. But, you’re the listeners, you’re my audience and you’re the most important part of this whole thing. So, your feedback is really significant to me and it would help me a lot if you completed my survey.

You can find the multiple choice survey at teacherluke.co.uk – in the archive between episodes 276 and 277. It’s really easy to complete. All the options are types of episode that I do on this podcast. Just click the options that represent the types of episode you like, and you can add your own option if you want as well.

Once you’ve selected all the types of episode that you like you can click “vote” and then you’ll see what other people have voted too, you’ll get all the results so far and you can see what other people think. You can change your votes if you want to, and as I said you can also add your own options to the survey, which other people will then be able to agree with too.

I will consider your feedback carefully and it will help me to plan future episodes of Luke’s English Podcast, but of course I still reserve the freedom to do exactly what I want on this podcast! It is, ultimately, Luke’s English Podcast – and I’m the one who chooses the content for this, but I’d like to know what you prefer.

So, here is that list, and don’t forget you can find this survey on the page for this episode – between episodes 276 and 277 in the archive. You can find the archive by mousing over “ALL EPISODES” and then choosing ALL EPISODES – ARCHIVE and you’ll find this survey in the list.

Also, if you want to write to me in more detail, just click on the CONTACT item in the menu and you can send me an email.

Thank you as ever for your attention and your feedback. Long live LEP!

Thanks very much!
HI! I’ve just realised that “Other” doesn’t work – whatever you write there will disappear. So, please add your “Other” option as a comment below. Thanks! Luke
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HI! I’ve just realised that “Other” doesn’t work – whatever you write there will disappear. So, please add your “Other” option as a comment below. Thanks! Luke

Some feedback from Twitter

@EnglishPodcast 1. I like the ones where you just make things up as you go (The Pink Gorilla Story is definitely your best episode!)

— Please Stand By. (@geniusdexter) June 3, 2015

@EnglishPodcast 2. I also like the episodes that touch on topics similar to the one in episode “Essential Social English”.

— Please Stand By. (@geniusdexter) June 3, 2015

@EnglishPodcast 3. Episodes that feature your father in it. Your father’s awesome Luke! I’m really impressed by his wide range of knowledge.

— Please Stand By. (@geniusdexter) June 3, 2015

@EnglishPodcast 4. Last, it’s always good to hear the episodes where you talk about yourself, Luke!

— Please Stand By. (@geniusdexter) June 3, 2015

@EnglishPodcast 5. Because it’s (And I’m sure all of the LEP ninjas think so, too) nice to know more about the sensei of LEP Ninja dojo! :P

— Please Stand By. (@geniusdexter) June 3, 2015

@EnglishPodcast My pleasure, Luke! :D

— Please Stand By. (@geniusdexter) June 3, 2015

@EnglishPodcast Hi, Luke. I would like you to talk about British music, Brit Pop in mid 1990, like Oasis vs Blur. https://t.co/QjM2y4ueuU

— Kazuyoshi Kawaguchi (@K_K1979) June 3, 2015

@EnglishPodcast Hi Luke. Greetings from Venezuela. Don´t worry about the topic. Your podcasts are simply amazing. I like them so much.

— elvy marcella (@elvymarcella) June 4, 2015

@EnglishPodcast “The bad haircut situation” episode was hilarious,I loved it,you and your friends were funny and great!Thanks Keep doing it!

— Marta Garcia (@ggarciammarta) June 4, 2015

survey-1024

276. Q&A Session #5

11 Replies

Hello and welcome to another episode of the podcast. If you’re new to LEP then you should know that this is a long-running podcast for learners of English. The idea is that I provide you with regular content to help you improve your English. My intention is to provide you with listening material that is not only good for your English but also a pleasant and fun experience to listen to. Check out teacherluke.co.uk where you can add your email address to the mailing for new episodes, or find my podcast on iTunes where you can also subscribe. There are lots of transcripts, discussion forums, videos and all kinds of other stuff at teacherluke.co.uk so check it out. If you’re an old listener, then ahoy there! Welcome back to the good ship LEP.

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I’m in the skypod again to record another episode and this time I’m responding to more questions from my listeners. These are all questions that found their way to me via the discussion forum or as comments or emails. This one is Q&A Session #5.

A Spoonful of Mustard – June 13, 2014 at 1:46 pm
Hello Luke,
This particular question has been bothering me for donkey’s years. Even though it may sound a bit silly, I would be most grateful should you answer it seriously. Let me put you in the picture.
Essentially, the question stems from a sci-fi film I watched a couple of years ago. A part of the plot is set on a planet that orbits three stars in a solar system a zillion light years away from the Earth. At some point in the film, a bunch of fugitive inmates gets stranded on the deserted surface of this remote planet. By and by, the presence of the three stars in the sky dawns, literally and figuratively, on the gang, and one of them yells out, unconvincingly acting-wise, ‘it’s got three suns!’
This particular usage of the word ‘sun’ baffles me. Even though it is crystal clear what the protagonist means, it seems to me he should have said, ‘it’s got three stars!’ since ‘sun’ is the name of the star the Earth goes round. On the other hand, another question comes up: if you were on a planet in a different solar system, could you get a suntan or, indeed, go sunbathing? Could you enjoy watching awe-inspiring sunrise over there, or you would have to resort to relishing observing Alpha Centauri-rise or something of the same sort?
Based on your expert knowledge, what do you think of all this?
All the best,
A Spoonful of Mustard

Luke: So, can we call the stars orbited by other planets in the universe “suns”. Yes, I think we can. I would say that a star being orbited by planets is a sun. We call our sun ‘the sun’ because, for us, it’s the only one. We know there are others, but this is the main one for us. It’s like “Let’s go to the pub” – here we mean our local pub, the one that we live near. Any pub can be “the pub” – it depends where you live, or where you are at that time. If you live near The Kings Head – that’s The Pub. If you live near the Golden Lion, that’s “the pub”. Similarly, if you live on earth then the star at the centre of our solar system is “the sun” but I would say that if you live on another planet in another solar system (please leave a comment if you do – we’d love to hear from you) then I think it’s fair to say that you could call your local star, “the sun” too, or perhaps “our sun” or even “suns” if there are several.
“Look at the sun” means our local sun. But if you were on another planet, and that planet orbited a star – I think it would be fair to call it a sun as well.
Luckily, I don’t think this is something that troubles most of you on a daily basis. :)

Anonymous – April 26, 2015 at 2:09 pm – in the comments section of my website.
The difference between can and can’t.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cahVeRxiZBc
I personally found this extremely difficult to catch! I hope this can help somebody.

Luke:
I think there are a few points to deal with for this question. Also, there are several ways of saying the word can, depending on which side of the Atlantic you’re on – there’s the British way and then the wrong way. Haha that’s a joke. No really, Americans and Brits say the words slightly differently. We’ll come to that in a moment. I’m dealing with the UK version of “can” and “can’t”.
1. The difference between the words when they’re not in a sentence. Can /kæn/ can’t /kɑːnt/ – mainly it’s about the vowel sound (can is short, can’t is long) but also that can’t has a /t/ sound at the end.
2. When the words are used in the middle of a sentence, fluently. Firstly, there’s the issue of the weak form of ‘can’ with a schwa sound, and with ‘can’t’ the /t/ sound can disappear, making it sound a bit like ‘car’.
Weak form of ‘can’
Yes, I can do that. Here, can is /kən/
Elision of /t/ in ‘can’t’
Sorry, I can’t do that. I can’t see it. I can’t wait. – in all of those, the /t/ of ‘can’t’ disappears.
It’s normal for /t/ and /d/ sounds to be lost when followed by another /t/ or /d/ sound, but it’s not just then. Frankly, /t/ sounds are often dropped in fluent speech.
Sorry, I can’t eat it.
So, can and can’t sound alarmingly similar sometimes. But they’re not the same. Native speakers can identify the difference. There is a difference, it’s not telepathy, although context may help too (like, tone of voice or body language)
The key thing is that the vowel sound is still long.
“I can meet you at 3.”
“I can’t meet you at 3.”
Can you hear the difference?
How about the tone or intonation of the sentences?
Listen to these sentences, am I saying ‘can’ or ‘can’t’? Sometimes my intonation or other words might help. Repeat the sentences after me.
a. I can be there earlier if you need me to.
b. I just can’t work this one out.
c. I can just do it for you if you want.
d. You can just take the bus, it’s much easier.
e. He can’t get any reception in his room, so he’s going to use the landline.
f. They can just download it and stick it on the laptop.
g. You can’t help me with this can you?
h. I can’t stop thinking about last night.
i. It can be a bit difficult to hear the difference between can and can’t sometimes, can’t it?

3. American English may be a bit different. “can’t” might sound more distinct.

Daniel – June 13, 2014 at 3:06 pm
Hello Luke,
First of all, I want to say I regard your work with podcasts the best I’ve ever seen for ESL learners so far. You show a 100% spontaneous conversation in English that supports listening skills a lot. Thanks mate!
Getting back to my question for you I have to tell you I’m trying to learn how to speak with authentic British accent, but, it seems the process to me is becoming increasingly slow. I’ve been self-taught for more than 2 years. In fact, I want to sound like you,and, so that, at the moment, I try to mimic you by memorising what you say and then repeating that as many times as possible. Am I in the right technique? I’m not so sure about that!I’d like some guidance from you as regards the pronunciation learning. So,here are my questions: how could somebody speed up the process of internalising the British accent ? What method you’d suggest to come near faster and effectively to this accent? Thanks in advance for your attention.

Luke: This kind of relates to the question from Edgar. Let’s say you’ve decided to learn to speak with a British accent (Standard Received Pronunciation I imagine – because there are many British accents, as you know). How can you do it? Here are some ideas: Learn the phonemic script. Learn all those sounds and symbols. This is the palette of English. Once you learn all the sounds that are used in English, you’ll be able to identify and hopefully copy the sounds as they are used by people. Learning the phonemic script is like learning the musical theory. Transcribe words and sentences in phonemic script, and then check a dictionary. Yes, do plenty of listening and repetition. Use the BBC’s pronunciation pages for help http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/grammar/pron/ Use a mirror to see the way you are pronouncing words and compare that to the videos on the BBC’s pronunciation page. Listen to loads of British English and just have fun trying to copy it. Think about things other than the vowel sounds – e.g. intonation, certain phrases that are typical, rhythm, the attitude and mentality, body language. These can all be tags to help you learn. But again, the main thing is that you speak clearly and that you are yourself. Don’t fake it too much, except for fun. If possible, spend time with lots of British people – humans are designed to adapt to be similar to those around us (if you just relax and let it happen) and so spending time with Brits is perhaps the best way. Go drinking with British people! If you can’t do that, just keep listening to Luke’s English Podcast, it’s bound to rub off on you.

Naz – June 13, 2014 at 3:59 pm
I just wanted to ask about my personal problem with English . I know many people have some problem with spoken English but some of them are lazy and they don’t study hard and they are often just complaining. But I am not a lazy person and everyday I regularly try to study English.
I’ve been living in London for two years. When I came here I didn’t know any English words except “yes or no” , couldn’t understand what people talk about. But later I discovered your website and another amazing website like yours. I’ve been listening regularly your podcasts. Now My English has evolved without any course. It really helped me and I appreciate and I am really grateful. Thank you very much for this selfless labour.

My problem is that I can’t make a kind of self-confidence about speaking. My personality doesn’t allow me to speak confidently. I can’t say any words in English especially while I am in Turkish communities who are speaking very well. I am a high perfectionist person and my subconscious is ordering me an excellent speech. I feel like I will not speak without having a perfect fluent English and accent. I never will have this perfection but I cannot tell myself it somehow.

Only for this reason I missed many opportunities about my job in the UK.(architecture) I wish I could see my life from a higher level…

I am sure you will give me some advice about my issue.

Thank you very much,

Naz…

Luke: You’ve got to stop judging yourself. Just relax and try. Nobody starts perfect, you have to fail before you get there. People respect bravery. Be brave, make errors, don’t let them bother you, learn from your mistakes and carry on. Nobody is judging you that much! You’re too hard on yourself. People will respect you for making the effort. I’ve seen it time and time again in classes, and I’m guilty of it myself too – the ones who make progress are the ones who don’t care about making mistakes in front of everyone. They speak up, the make some mistakes (not that many really) and they improve, and they move up to the next class. Everybody respects them. Everyone looks up to them like they’re extraordinarily confident. It’s not a magic quality that only some people have, it’s just about having priorities. Prioritise your learning, your progress and your communication. They’re more important than total perfection. Also, do it step by step. Every successful interaction or bit of communication is something to celebrate and feel good about. You need positive reinforcement and stimulation when you’re learning. Be happy about the progress you’ve made. You’ve done well. Now choose to proceed with confidence. It really is a choice.

Phil – June 13, 2014 at 4:41 pm
Dear Teacher Luke,

I just wanted to ask about the subjunctive mood. I’m still quite confused about it and even my English teacher was not able to answer my questions (she is american, from Chicago).

Partly, I think it may be due to the incorrect use of the subjunctive that many native speakers do and partly to the fact that it is actually a hard topic. I’ve read some grammar websites and that just made me even more confused.I understand that there’s a slight difference between BrE and AmE sometimes too.

THANK YOU =D
CHEERS

Luke: Could you give me a more specific response?

Here’s another example from Phil (I asked him for a more specific example)
Phil: Ok =D
All right I know (from Beyoncé) that I am supposed to say ‘if I were a boy'(though I am actually a boy…Well I conveyed the message at least). On a website I read that there’re actually 2 tenses (present and past subjunctive) but only for the verb ‘to be’ there’s a difference (be and were). For all the other verbs there are the present and past tenses that are actually the same (like work and work). here is the website http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/verbs-subjunctive.htm do you think it’s trustful? And I really wonder if this part is really correct (copied and pasted):

Notice that in these structures the subjunctive is always the same. It does not matter whether the sentence is past or present. Look at these examples:

Present: The President requests that they stop the occupation.
Past: The President requested that they stop the occupation.
Present: It is essential that she be present.
Past: It was essential that she be present.

Thank you Teacher Luke =D whichever comment on this matter will receive my deepest gratitude.

Luke: I’ll refer to a couple of web pages for this. This one for a brief explanation of its form and use: https://www.englishclub.com/grammar/verbs-subjunctive.htm (Englishclub.com)
This one has some lists of verbs and expressions which are followed by the subjunctive http://www.englishpage.com/minitutorials/subjunctive.html (englishpage.com)
P.S. in my zombie episode in which I looked at conditionals, I didn’t say “If I were a zombie”, I said “If I was a zombie” – technically not correct, but so many people do it that it’s considered ok if a bit colloquial.

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Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast

Learn British English with Luke Thompson

Monthly Archives: June 2015

282. Questions from Tea4er.ru

281. Misheard Lyrics

280. The UK’s Top 13 Superstitions

Survey: What kind of episodes of LEP do you prefer?

276. Q&A Session #5

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