400. The Pink Gorilla Story 2

I’ve decided to celebrate the 400th episode of LEP by making up an improvised comedy story, just for fun. In fact, this is the long-awaited sequel to The Pink Gorilla Story from episode 125.

Small Donate Button[DOWNLOAD]
In this episode I’ve decided to tell you an improvised comedy story in the ‘one-man-show’ style – the whole thing is made up on the spot with different characters and jokes along the way. It’s a challenge for me to do this kind of episode, and it might be a challenge for you to listen to it too, I don’t know! I certainly hope you enjoy it.

This kind of never-ending ridiculous story is often known as a shaggy dog story. It’s an old joke archetype. People have been doing this sort of thing for years. Shaggy dog stories are just jokes that go on and on forever, although I think 80 minutes might be some kind of record.

a shaggy dog story (definition)

a long, rambling story or joke, typically one that is amusing only because it is absurdly inconsequential or pointless.

This episode is actually a sequel to the original Pink Gorilla Story from a few years ago. That one is kind of a cult episode, meaning it is really popular with certain listeners. For some people it’s their favourite episode ever. I really enjoyed recording that one because it was a chance to just have fun, let my mind run and try to think of funny scenarios and dialogues, which is quite liberating. You could try doing it too as an exercise in liberated creative storytelling for fluency or production. Switching off your ‘internal editor’ and letting your mind run free with crazy ideas can be very fun and can open up your creative side, which I think shouldn’t be forgotten in your quest to develop your language skills.

You might want to listen to part 1 of the Pink Gorilla Story first, so that the sequel makes a bit more sense (“makes sense” ha!) You’ll find it on the page for this episode (below), then listen to this one. Or, you could listen to this episode first, then listen to part 1 afterwards. It’s up to you. Either way, I hope you enjoy it and just come along with me on this ride into comedy nonsense-land.

Similar stories I’ve done in the past

I have done other improvised stories like this in the past (linked below), but The Pink Gorilla Story was the first one I did and I’ve been meaning to do a sequel for a while. So, finally, here it is.

125. The Pink Gorilla Story 1

166. The Prawn Story

153. The Talking Dog Story

173. The Curse of the Lambton Worm

175. The Phrasal Verb Chronicles

275. The Phrasal Verb Chronicles 2

239. Prepositions: Verb Collocations

399. The Return of Molly Martinez (with Dane Nightingale)

Talking with two American friends about journalism, how the internet works, the US presidential election results, California’s new marijuana laws and puffins.

Small Donate Button[DOWNLOAD]
In this one you’ll hear me in conversation with Molly Martinez and Dane Nightingale.
Molly has been on the podcast before – she was in episodes 198 and 199 – have you heard those? They’re fun episodes. In those episodes we talked about her studies as a journalist, we tested each other’s general knowledge of the UK and the USA and I tried to teach her how to do different regional accents in British English. That was episodes 198 and 199, in 2014 – ah, 2014, such fun times, such innocent times… Those episodes are still available for you to hear in the episode archive.

198. A Cup of Tea with Molly Martinez

199. The UK/USA Quiz

For a few days Molly is back in Paris seeing friends and visiting her old haunts, and this time she is accompanied by Dane Nightingale, who I think you will agree has a rather fantastic surname. (by the way, a nightingale is a bird that sings a beautiful song but only during the night time).

They’re both here for a couple of days and thankfully I managed to grab them both (not physically of course, just figuratively) for about an hour of conversation on this podcast.

Overview of this episode (to help you keep up)

This episode has a light-hearted bit at the beginning, then quite a serious bit in the middle, then another light-hearted bit at the end. The serious bit is when we start talking about the election, and there is a palpable shift in tone in the conversation at that point – so look out for that.
In the first light-hearted bit we establish these things:
They’re an item – they’re going out with each other – they’re going steady (I think this is the expression in NAmE) – they’re boyfriend & girlfriend, but they don’t live together – so they’re not living in sin, as you’ll hear them say.
Molly is a journalist for CBS in SF. She’s mostly on the production side but she does some on-air stuff (like reports to camera) as well as video editing and writing for anchors.
Molly is also a stand-up comedian who tells jokes on stage. She also tells quite a lot of jokes off-stage too. I think it’s fair to say that she’s something of a compulsive joke teller, which is alright in my book.
You’ll hear that Molly makes a joke about how I’m the heir to the BBC fortune, which makes me sound like I’m set to inherit the entire BBC (quite funny). I then explain in huge detail how in fact the BBC is publicly funded (not very funny).
Dane works for a start-up called Fastly, which makes the internet faster.
He tells us how the internet is basically just a series of tubes, and how my audio episodes travel from my servers in Tower Bridge, London to users all over the world, and how the start-up company that he works for, Fastly, aims to make this process faster by allowing data to be stored locally. I’m not sure I understand how it works!
Molly tells us about the 5 things that make something newsworthy: relevance, time, novelty, proximity and cats.
Then the serious bit begins when I ask them about their reaction to the US election. Hopefully you’ll find it interesting to hear about this story directly from the mouths of two US citizens from San Francisco. We try to understand how Trump won and Hillary lost, including the motivations of the voters, the campaigns of both candidates and also how the electoral system had an impact on the result.
Then the podcast becomes slightly less serious again and  the conversation turns to the subject of marijuana laws in the USA, how Molly once met Tommy Chong (one half of the stoner comedy duo Cheech & Chong on an airplane – high in the sky, especially him) and then how both Molly and Dane are going to Iceland where it might be very cold, and where people might eat puffins – lovely little birds with colourful beaks.
You should also be aware of the meaning of these two words:

puffin

A puffin, puffing.

Puffins – cute birds which are protected by law in the UK but are very common in Iceland and apparently eaten there as a traditional delicacy.
Puffing – the gerund form of the verb ‘to puff’ which means to take smoke from a cigarette or perhaps a pipe, or a perhaps joint in the case of California. “To puff a joint, or take a puff from a joint, or toke a joint or take a toke from a joint”.

So – “enjoy your puffin”, can have two meanings – enjoy eating a little Icelandic bird as a delicacy, or enjoy smoking some weed (especially in California where it has recently been made legal).

Right, you are now ready to listen to the conversation, so here we go!

*Conversation starts – light-hearted bit – serious bit – light-hearted bit – conversation ends*

I just want to thank Molly and Dane again for coming on the podcast. They took some time out from their holiday to talk to me, and you, and some of that time was spent going over the election, and things did get a little heated during the serious part of that conversation.

Molly expressed her frustration about the standards that people seem to have about women in positions of power – something which Sarah Donnelly also talked about when she was on the podcast talking about Hillary Clinton recently.

Specifically regarding the public’s perception of female candidates, maybe it is harder for a woman to capture the trust of the nation, because she’s expected to have so many conflicting qualities all at the same time. If she’s too warm she’s considered too emotional, but if she keeps the emotions in she’s judged as cold. That’s, I think, what Molly was talking about when she said it’s a double-standard. The point I was trying to make was that I think voters respond to certain personal charisma regardless of their gender, but thinking about it maybe women are judged differently than men and it’s harder for them to strike the right balance.

Anyway, that’s quite enough politics for this episode. I just wanted to say thanks to Molly and Dane for talking about the election because they’re on holiday and this is probably a story that they’re quite sick of, after a year and a half of election coverage in the media back home, and I expect they’re glad to be away from it all for a few days. So, I hope you’ll join me in expressing your gratitude to them for taking the time to talk about it to us on this podcast. I very much enjoyed having them on the podcast, for their honest reactions and for the light-hearted bits at the beginning and the end.

Notes

~Lots of people have shown interest in hearing a conversation with my Dad about the recent news, including the election results and about recent political developments in the UK. I am planning on talking to him soon, so that episode should arrive before long – as long as I don’t get snowed under with work, or snow, or fall into a wormhole or something like that. I’m a bit wary of doing politics too much, for obvious reasons, but many of my listeners have sent me messages assuring me that they appreciate the commentary, so I won’t abandon the subject, but I will be getting on to other topics on this podcast as well as getting back to basics with some episodes about language.

~The next episode is #400, which is cool isn’t it? Not bad really, considering how long some of my episodes are. That must be about 400 hours of podcasting for you to hear. I’m quite proud to have made it this far. It’s mainly thanks to my listeners, your enthusiasm for this podcast, your support and the support of my sponsors. I’m not sure to what extent I’ll celebrate during episode 400 or anything. I did quite a lot of celebrating in episode 300 in which I had contributions from many of the guests I’ve had on this podcast over the years, as well as a few daft celebrity impressions by me and my brother. We’ll see… perhaps I’ll just switch on the mic and have a ramble, perhaps I’ll have some guests. We’ll see.

~Amber and Paul are both very busy at the moment. Paul continues to have success with his TV series which is called WTF France – an affectionate piss-take of French culture from the English point of view. It seems the French, generally speaking, are being very good-natured about it and are lapping it up. The show is now being broadcast now on Saturday evenings on Canal+, which is one of France’s major TV channels. That’s quite a big deal. Paul is now Saturday evening prime time entertainment! Amber and I are proud of him of course, and also pleased because we helped him to write some of the episodes. You can see them all on the YouTube channel called “What The Fuck France”.

“What the Fuck France” – YouTube Channel

Now, you might not understand the appeal of the videos if you don’t understand the specifics of French culture and it might just look like he’s insulting everyone, but the humour comes from the familiarity with French life, particularly in Paris and really he’s saying the sorts of things that most Parisian people think, but doing it in English. Also, the videos are really nicely produced and directed. They look great.

~The LEP anecdote competition is still open – in episode 396 you heard 10 anecdotes so please do vote in the poll. You can find that page by clicking the blue button on my website. I’ve decided that as a prize I’ll spend some time talking to the winner 1-to-1 on Skype. I hope the winner considers that to be a prize. It may or may not be recorded and published, we will see.

~Don’t forget to join the mailing list
~Follow me on FB and Twitter where I post other bits and pieces from time to time.
~Thank you if you have sent me messages in various forms and apologies if I haven’t replied.

More episodes are coming. I have lots of ideas and things in the pipeline, but there’s no telling sometimes what’s coming next. Often I just record and publish on an episode by episode basis – and the topic and content is often decided by whatever inspiration strikes me at a given moment. It seems quite random, but there’s a method to the madness.

Have a lovely day, night, evening, morning or whatever and speak to you soon. X

398. US Election Result Ramble + Message + Song

In this episode I want to talk about two things: My first impressions of the US Presidential election result, and then some things I said in the last episode of this podcast. I just want to clear up some comments I made last time. I just want to get straight into it. So here we go.

[DOWNLOAD]

It’s a mad mad mad mad world!

Everything will be alright, in the end. And if it’s not alright, it’s not the end.

(I have to thank Mark Kermode for that one)

Bloody hell! Donald Trump got elected!

Oh my god, can you believe it? You’d better believe it because it’s true. More on that in a minute.

I just want to record this episode and get it out there to you quickly without spending time on pre-production and all that stuff so it might be a bit rambly and a bit sketchy.

The main reason I’m recording this is that I have a couple of things I want to get off my chest in response to the previous episode of this podcast. Just some things on my mind that I want to communicate to you, and that’s the main reason I’m recording this quickly now on Tuesday 9 November.

But also, of course the big news of the day is the US presidential election – and that’s what’s going on, certainly in my world – probably in your world too – it’s all about the election because the result came in just a few hours ago that Trump has been elected president.

Let me say that again – Donald Trump is the 45th President of the USA.

So, I have got to talk about that a bit at the top of the episode here.

I hope you don’t press stop ❤️

Please do stick around for the whole episode. I do hope you listen to it all because I have some sincere things to say to you. Yes, don’t press stop! Please do listen! Please feel completely welcome at all times while listening to this! I hope you don’t press stop! In the last episode I know that I said some dismissive and glib things like “you can stop listening if you don’t like it” – sorry, I hope you didn’t feel that was dismissive and unfriendly sounding. I was just feeling a bit… ‘hangry’ or frustrated. Of course I always want you to listen and I am extremely happy when people do listen. I’ll talk more about that stuff later. I’ve got some things to say to you my audience – so I hope you do stick around for that.

But first – Donald Trump

Yes, the joke going round is that the UK is no longer the most stupid nation on earth. After Brexit we had the title for about 5 months and now it’s gone back to the USA, back to normal. Back to that good old feeling that we had when they elected George Bush twice in a row. Ah… That is the joke that people are making…

Except this time it seems worse somehow – at least it seems more shocking, I don’t know – what do you think? Are you shocked, glad? A lot of feelings will be flying around today I expect, especially if you care about this subject at all.

That Brexit feeling is back again.

It’s a strange feeling.

A huge event has happened. It’s a historic moment.

What a year it has been.

I’ve tried to capture how it feels.

How did Trump win?

An interesting article from TheWeek.co.uk: http://www.theweek.co.uk/theweekday/story/78497

398

397. An 80-Minute Ramble

Talking spontaneously about gloves, mittens, OO7, Bob Dylan, an LEP app, The Walking Dead, Oasis, Black Mirror, The Crown, a bit of politics and some 10-year cave-aged cheddar cheese.

[DOWNLOAD]

TV shows mentioned in this episode

Black Mirror

The Crown

Supersonic (the Oasis movie)

microphone-233717_1280

From the Archives: Halloween & Guy Fawkes Night / 5th November

e96ecafecff22619a6877c6b7980142fHello listeners!

Today is 5th November, which is quite a significant date in UK culture because it’s Guy Fawkes Night!

“What’s Guy Fawkes Night, Luke?” you might (not) be shouting into your screen at this moment.

“Pray tell us Luke, what is the significance of this date in the UK calendar? This sounds absolutely fascinating! Why not record a podcast episode all about it!?”

Lovely idea – but I’ve already done it! I recorded an episode all about Halloween and Guy Fawkes Night exactly 7 years ago today. So in this post I thought I’d share this old episode from the archives. Some of you might have heard it before but I expect there are plenty of you who haven’t. So, because I don’t have a new episode to upload at this moment (I’ve had my hands full recently with work, zombies, ghosts and stuff) I thought I’d suggest that you listen to this one.

So, check it out below! It *might* be interesting for you to hear what LEP was like in 2009 when I recorded this on a crappy old laptop while sitting on my sofa in my old flat in old London.

Experience the horror of the terrifyingly bad sound quality of LEP in 2009!
Behold the chilling sounds of my laptop humming and whirring in the background!
Run screaming from the slightly dull way I used to speak on the podcast 7 years ago! (Or maybe not – do I sound any different?)

Here’s a selection of what you can expect to hear in this episode:

  • Stuff about the origins of Halloween – is it just a load of commercial crap, or is it a scary ancient celtic festival? Or both?
  • Some history of Guy Fawkes Night in the UK
  • Creepy stuff about spirits of the dead
  • A terrorist plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament
  • Regicide and mass homicide!
  • Gunpowder, treason & plot!
  • Guts, blood and gore!
    & more

Listen to the episode below and follow the link for the original page for episode 54.

New episodes of LEP coming soon…

Take care,
Luke

From the Archives: Episode 52 (5 November 2009)

[DOWNLOAD]

Original page link:

54. Halloween / Guy Fawkes Night

396. The LEP Anecdote Competition – ROUND 2

This episode is round 2 of the LEP anecdote competition. You’ll be able to hear the 10 anecdotes that got the most votes from round one and some language feedback afterwards.

Small Donate Button[DOWNLOAD]

[socialpoll id=”2396716″]

Introduction

This is the LEP Anecdote Competition Round 2. The last time I talked to you about this competition was in episode 387 when I let you know that all the anecdotes were available for you to listen to and vote for.

I got about 60 anecdotes in total and I posted them on the page for episode 387.

People visited the page, listened to the anecdotes and then voted for their favourites using the online poll.

The poll is now closed and I have counted the votes. In this episode I’m going to play you the top 10 anecdotes in terms of votes. You’ll hear them in just a few minutes, and I’d like you to visit the page for this episode and vote for your favourites.

You can find the page on my website in the archive, or by clicking the blue button under the email subscription form on every page. You can’t miss it.

To be honest I still haven’t decided what the prize will be for this competition – it’ll probably be a free mug or tote bag, we shall see. Truly exciting prizes are on offer here in this most prestigious of awards. Forget the Oscars, forget the Nobel Prize. This is the LEP Anecdote Competition – it’s a seriously big deal ladies and gentlemen. No doubt the world’s press will be lining up to interview the winner. Papparazzi will be following him or her everywhere. Haha etc. Anyway, it’s not about the winning, it’s about the taking part, right?

I know that this kind of episode is not for everyone and some of you don’t fancy listening to other listeners, but I still suggest that you check out these recordings because you might be pleasantly surprised. I found it entertaining, enlightening and quite heartwarming to hear the voices of all these people around the world who listen to my podcast. There are some great little stories in there – some funny, some scary, some touching. So, even if you’re a bit sceptical about episodes like this – just give it a try. You might be surprised.

Also, I’d like to remind you that the general spirit of this whole competition is to encourage my listeners in their quest to improve their English. That’s why I did the competition in the first place. I want to support my listeners in their English learning so I’d like to encourage everyone listening and commenting on the website to be positive and encouraging because after all this is all about helping people improve their English.

Just before I play you the ten anecdotes that have qualified for round two I’d just like to say a few things.

Well done to everyone who took part. It does require a bit of bravery to record your voice and then have everyone listen to you, especially if you’re doing it in a language which you’re learning. So if you sent me an anecdote – well done you! I think it’s important to push yourself out of your comfort zone a bit and challenge yourself. I’m really proud of the listeners who sent in their recordings. Only 10 people got through to the second round, but it’s no reflection on the standard of the other 50 or so recordings. Everyone did really well and I’m proud of you all.

A big thank you to everyone who took the time to listen to all the anecdotes and vote for their favourites. There were a lot of recordings in part 1 and it must have taken you a long time to listen to them all. Some people in particular went out of their way to listen to every single recording very carefully and then voted using well-selected judging criteria. Also, some people left individual feedback for every single anecdote. Thank you so much for the attention you gave and the care with which you wrote your comments. I’m really impressed. Thank you for taking part so enthusiastically.

I can’t go into lots of detail about the other recordings which didn’t get through to round 2 – there just isn’t enough time! However, you can still go to the page for episode 387 and read the various comments which you can find there.

I would like to give honourable mentions to everyone, but I’ll specifically mention just a couple of recordings which stuck in my mind.

Jane from Taiwan – she managed to pluck up the courage to escape from a burning building because she was so keen to listen to the next episode of LEP. So, LEP saved Jane’s life! Ha ha!

Akane from Japan – this recording made me laugh a lot. The bit where you sprayed bathroom cleaner all over the cockroach and then it died was really disgusting and it made me laugh out loud!

That’s just a couple of examples. I can’t go into detail about all the other entries because there isn’t time, but go and check out the comments under episode 387 there are some lovely bits of feedback there.

Here are a few rules for round 2

You can vote for as many anecdotes as you like, but you can only vote once.

So listen to this episode and make a note of the anecdotes you like before visiting the page and casting your vote.

It’s very simple to vote. Just use the interactive poll on the page for this episode. It might not work very well on a mobile device but it should work fine on a desktop, laptop or tablet.

Voting closes on Sunday 27 November at 12 midnight, CET.

Then the votes will be counted and the winner will be announced later.

Please please please vote! It will make the competition more fun. It’s very simple to do.

Remember as you listen to these stories that I asked the listeners to tell the stories without reading from a script.

I will let you decide the criteria for your judging – grammar, vocabulary, pronunciation or just the general feeling you get from listening – did you enjoy it? How did it make you feel?

That’s all I have to say. So now, let’s listen to the anecdotes in no particular order.

You can listen to individual anecdotes again below

Kristina from Russia – A story about when Kristina had a very stressful, embarrassing and thrilling experience of working as a translator for a famous film director.

Jose from Spain – Talking about a weird thing that happened when he was a child in the 80s when he was pulled over by a dodgy guy who might have been posing as a police officer. Who was he? Was he really a cop or not? It’s a bit creepy.

Shujaat from Pakistan –  here’s a story about how Shujaat experienced a shooting, the sound of guns being fired and bullets flying from a law court near his college, and then a blast – the sound of a big explosion that he managed to avoid thanks to a man who saved his life. Thankfully Shujaat managed to escape, but it must have been frightening.

Saaya from Japan – Talking about how a couple of embarrassing experiences and then a coincidence made her realise that she really does take after her father.

Vasily from Tashkent The story of how he met his wife, accompanied by himself playing the accordion.

Weija Wang from China – How his female friend totally took him by surprise by telling him she had fallen in love with him, but was it really true?

Elena from Russia –  A nightmare experience that happened one night when Elena lost a girl called Julia, the daughter of her friend. When Julia didn’t come back from a night out at the disco Elena was worried sick and searched all around town in the middle of the night and even nearly got arrested by the police. I think both Elena and Julia learned a few lessons that night!

Frankie from Sicily, Italy – His story about how he went on an adventure with a friend and was threatened by a scary man with a shotgun and nearly got stuck in quicksand!

Zdenek from Czech Republic – a lesson learned on the London underground about how to use or not to use the word ‘please’ in English, and why people generally don’t talk to each other on public transport in London.

Marla from Germany – Her story of a close encounter with London’s most amazing detective!

Language Feedback

journalists – /ɜː/ not /ɔː/

people that are unknownstrangers

strangers = people you don’t know

foreigners = people from another country

go by footgo on foot

bullet fire – gunfire

running like they were saving their livesrunning for their lives

I think I may fall in love with you – I think I may have fallen in love with you, or I think I may be falling in love with you

the only I could do – the only thing I could do

She told that Julia went home – she told me that Julia had gone home, or she said that Julia had gone home

Sand that sucks you in = quicksand

My family and me visited Wales – my family and I visited Wales
microphone-1074362_1280

395. “Have you ever…?” with Paul Taylor and Robert Hoehn

In this episode I’m joined by Paul Taylor and Robert Hoehn and we do a speaking exercise that I often use in my classes to help my students to practise using different grammatical structures in their speaking. I thought it would be interesting to record some native speakers doing the exercise too, so that’s what you’ll hear in this episode, as well as various little anecdotes, a few jokes and general chat. The conversation contains swearing and a few humourous comments which shouldn’t be taken too seriously.

[DOWNLOAD]

Today I’m joined by a couple of guests. First of all I have Paul Taylor with me, fresh from an appearance on French TV.

And also, Robert Hoehn is back on the podcast.

Last time Rob was on was in episode 143, in which we hung out together in Rob’s kitchen, we made some tea cocktails and then Rob offended everyone with some obnoxious comments about American foreign policy.

Since then I have never invited Rob back onto the podcast.

Until now.

I thought it was time to bring him back on since his name has been mentioned a few times recently.

First of all, we have to deal with the fallout from his last appearance (which actually wasn’t that bad) before going on to talk about some other stuff.

How Rob offended everyone last time (well, not everyone…)

Last time Rob said some comments which were not supposed to be taken seriously. Just some stuff about America bombing other countries.

He hasn’t been on the podcast since. (except for a brief appearance during one of the Star Wars episodes, and a telephone call to Paul once)

So I think we need to deal with that and perhaps roast Rob a bit before moving on. Once he’s been roasted, his name will be cleared and his debt to my audience will have been paid.

Jokes from Rob’s roast

A roast is something that American comedians do. It usually happens on someone’s birthday. All the comedians take turns to insult the roastee. It gets pretty harsh and insulting, but that’s the whole point and everyone gets roasted. You’re not supposed to get offended. It’s a tradition.

Here’s what I said during Rob’s roast.

Hanging out with Rob is a profound experience. After you spend time with him you might have a crisis of religious faith. Not because he has persuasive arguments against the existence of god, but because if god does exist that means he has created everything, including Rob – and the question is “Why?” “Why would he bother?” “Why would an intelligent creator choose to invent Rob Hoehn? what would be the point?” It’s impossible. It wouldn’t have happened. So, Rob’s existence is basically proof that we are alone in the universe. No intelligent designer would have decided to create Rob, so there is no god and this is all the result of random chance.

But it’s exciting hanging around with Rob.

I imagine it’s a bit like spending time in the company of a great ape, like an orangutan.

It’s exciting, because you never quite know what he’s going to do next, and it’s fun to speculate on just how intelligent he really is. Whenever he manages to do something, like communicate a complex message it’s always very exciting, “Ooh! he asked for a banana! Ooh he offended everyone! Amazing!” but there’s always a fear that he’s going to get confused and start throwing things around or pull someone’s arms out of their sockets.

Rob of course is American. He’s from Minnesota in the mid-west of the USA, and he’s a great ambassador for the USA because he basically embodies all of the values that we associate with the united states. Basically I’m saying that he’s fat and ignorant.

I invited Rob onto the podcast a few years ago. I thought it would be a good idea. I’d now like to read a selection of comments that I got in response to that episode.

The first one is a message from a regular commenter, someone who regularly commented on every episode I uploaded.

“Hello Luke, as you know we all love your podcasts because they’re authentic and full of life…”

That’s nice.

“…However…”

Ooh

“However, this American was utterly arrogant and full of himself. I’ve never heard such a smart alec person in my whole life, I feel like jumping off a bridge.”

I never heard from that person ever again. Never left a comment ever again. He disappeared. I don’t know what happened to him.

Here’s another one.

“Hello Luke. I’m afraid…”

That’s not a good start.

“Hello Luke. I’m afraid I am completely disgusted by Robert. At 42mins50seconds…”

So this person continued to listen, despite being completely disgusted.

“At 42mins50seconds, on the subject of American attitudes to other countries, he said ‘The truth of the matter is that we just do not fucking care. We do not care at all what anyone thinks, because we Americans know that we can completely dominate everyone and if someone pisses us off too much – BOOM! Smart bomb.”

I’m actually quite proud of these comments because I don’t know if you noticed but they are very well written. In fact, I have used Rob’s comments a few times in class because they are very motivating. The students can’t wait to give all kinds of angry and abusive responses to what he said. They just keep producing more and more English in response to his statements. So thanks Rob you have definitely helped to improve the motivation and productivity of my listeners.

Rob originally moved to France to train to become a clown, which wasn’t necessary, let’s be honest. He wanted to become a clown because he was so inspired by his hero Ronald McDonald.

So there we are Rob – all is forgiven. You’re back to square one again. Welcome back to the podcast.

Have you ever…?

This is a conversation generator that I use in class. I usually use it in fairly low level classes in which they’re just learning to use structures like:

  • present perfect for life experiences – “Have you ever ridden a Segway?” “Yes, I have / No, I haven’t”
  • Questions in past simple tense – “When did you ride it?” “How was it?” “Did you enjoy it?”
  • ‘would like + infinitive / wouldn’t like + infinitive’ – “Would you like to ride a Segway?” “Yes, I would / No, I wouldn’t”

Have you ever…?

  • seen a ufo
  • eaten an insect
  • flown in a helicopter
  • done a jump in a car
  • made a complete fool of yourself in public
  • killed an animal by mistake
  • had a public argument or fight
  • gone scuba diving
  • slept outside (not camping)
  • met a famous person

Tell us about them in the comment section. Have a good day, evening, morning, afternoon or night and I’ll speak to you again on the podcast soon. Bye.

Luke

Paul’s TV Show

Paul is currently having a lot of success on French TV (and on YouTube) with his series of mini TV shows in which he makes fun of French culture. The show is also produced with the help of Rob Hoehn, and Amber and I have writing credits on some episodes. Check out a couple of recent episodes below.

 

Photos

grasshopper-guacamole

Paul’s grasshopper guacamole

394. OPP: Other People’s Podcasts (Part 4)

This is part two of a two-part episode about my favourite podcasts. I thought I’d share them because you might like to listen to them too, even if they’re difficult to understand because they’re not specifically for learners of English. It’s good to challenge yourself sometimes, so why not try listening to these. If I like them, you might like them too.

Small Donate Button[DOWNLOAD]

The Infinite Monkey Cage

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00snr0w/episodes/downloads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wim-_Of-bRE

Friday Night Comedy from BBC Radio 4

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02pc9pj/episodes/downloads
BBC’s flagship radio comedy show. It’s a compilation of comedy shows from the week. The Now Show and Dead Ringers are the best.

Distractions Pieces with Scroobius Pip

http://www.scroobiuspip.co.uk/distraction-pieces-podcast-archive-2016/

Spark – True Stories Live

Podcast

James O’Brien’s Mystery Hour

http://lbc.audioagain.com/presenters/6-james-obrien/368-the-mystery-hour-free

The Best of James O’Brien

http://lbc.audioagain.com/presenters/6-james-obrien/395-the-best-of-james-obrien-free

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-NEBerVRo0

opp4

393. OPP: Other People’s Podcasts (Part 3)

In this episode I’m going to recommend some other people’s podcasts. I have done this before – twice in fact. I did two episodes called OPP (Parts 1 & 2) Last time, in episodes 236 and 237 I recommended some of my favourite podcasts that I like to listen to when I’m out and about with my headphones on. I recommended a mix of British and American podcasts. In this episode I’m going to tell you about some more but we’re focusing only on British podcasts this time – ones that are produced in the UK and on which you can listen to British voices.

Small Donate Button[DOWNLOAD]

Previous OPP Episodes (Parts 1 & 2)

236. OPP: Other People’s Podcasts (Part 1)

237. OPP: Other People’s Podcasts (Part 2)

Sharing is caring ;)

Perhaps I shouldn’t be doing this, because like a jealous boyfriend I don’t want you looking at anyone or spending any time with anyone other than me! But then again my desire to share my favourite podcasts is just too great, and I can’t help letting you know which podcasts have been filling my iPhone in recent months. I love listening to podcasts. I genuinely think the podcast as an invention is one of the greatest things in the universe. It’s amazing that we can get all this really interesting audio, completely free and it’s conveniently stored in your pocket and available whenever you want it. It’s different to video because you can listen to it while you’re doing other things, especially travelling around or doing menial tasks like housework. I just really want you to enjoy some of the shows that I enjoy listening to.

These are podcasts for native speakers

This is not a selection of podcasts for learners of English – I’m sure you know about them. As well as LEP there are some very well-known and popular podcasts out there these days. Nope, this is a list of podcasts made by native speakers, for native speakers – although obviously you can listen too. The main thing is that these podcasts are not about learning English or for learning English, they’re about other things: films, science, comedy, in-depth conversation, history and more.

So, they might be difficult to understand

There are some barriers to your enjoyment of these podcasts. The general language level might be rather high. Also these podcasts exist within a culture that you’re probably not that familiar with – and that’s basically British culture, certainly in relation to British comedy, politics and the general mindset of life in the UK. The people in these podcasts will often be talking about stuff that you’re not familiar with, like local British events, British TV, news, political events or pop culture and so on.

But maybe this is exactly what you’re looking for

Then again, those may be the exact reasons why these podcasts will appeal to you. Perhaps you want the authentic British stuff. I know that some of you really want to listen to British people speaking at natural speed about British things.

It’s good for your English

As I said in my recent episode about breaking the intermediate plateau, it’s very important that you listen to things like this, in order to get exposed to normal authentic English. I have said it before and I’ll say it again – it’s important to listen to a mix of content you can understand without too much trouble – like episodes in which I talk on my own in my naturally clear voice, and content which is more challenging, like these podcasts for native speakers. I do try to cover that in my podcast by presenting you with some content that is not too difficult to follow, and some stuff which is more difficult – such as the interviews and conversations I have with various native speakers.

But, if you want some more challenging listening practice beyond the interviews on my podcast – here are some suggestions from me to you.

Also, these podcasts might not be your cup of tea, but there’s only one way to find out – just listen to them and see for yourselves.

So, without any further ado, let’s look at some of my favourite podcasts.

A reminder of some from last time

First, a reminder of some of my selection from last time (British ones)

Adam & Joe No longer running, but many of the episodes are still available here http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02l57gq/episodes/downloads 

Desert Island Discs (UK) Long-running interview show – a national institution! http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006qnmr 

Mark Kermode & Simon Mayo’s Film Review (UK) The BBC’s flagship film review show, and also my favourite podcast of all time – http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00lvdrj/episodes/downloads 

Acast – www.acast.com

It’s a good app for listening to podcasts on your smartphone. It’s free and you can either download within the app or stream episodes. Other apps are available.

The Allusionist

http://www.theallusionist.org/
Helen Zaltzman is an etymologist and historian, specialising in the history of language and specifically words. But this isn’t a boring history podcast. Her episodes are bright, witty and very relevant to the modern world. They’re often fascinating and full of interesting factoids about the way language works.

Helen is the sister of Bugle podcaster Andy Zaltzman, and she is also very funny and clever, like Andy. In fact, she comes across as being both adorable and brilliant. She’s a very charming presenter.

The episodes are very well-prepared with plenty of research done beforehand. These episodes are not rambling conversations but cleverly edited mini-documentaries about aspects of language. You can learn lots of bits and pieces about etymology (origins of words) and also various cultural aspects of how languages work. Also, Helen is very witty and clever.

The Adam Buxton Podcast

https://www.acast.com/adambuxton
Adam Buxton is a huge underground hit in terms of podcasting. In fact, he’s not really underground at all, more alternative. I mean, he’s not a big success with a mainstream audience but the people who listen to his podcasts are very dedicated and he has a very loyal following.

Episodes usually begin with Adam walking in the countryside near his house with his dog Rosie (who he sometimes gives a voice). Then we listen to a conversation between Adam and a guest.

Why do I like it? Adam – he’s a sweet and lovely guy, he’s funny, I feel like he’s one of my people, his jingles are brilliant, the conversations are just interesting and they often cover curious topics like social behaviour, personal fears and motivations and more.

Adam calls the Jaffa Cakes hotline

Continues in part 4…

opp3

392. What are the most essential skills of a good foreign language learner?

This episode is full of what I hope will be more useful insight and advice on how to learn English as an adult so that you don’t end up sounding like a robot, because you’re learning English or at least maintaining your English and it’s a long-term process, there are right and wrong ways of doing it and I want to support you along the way. The main aim of this podcast is to help you stay on track as you continue to develop your English, trying to find new ways and improving the old ways so that you get a grip on this language.

Small Donate Button[DOWNLOAD]
This episode represents not just my ideas but also the thoughts, conclusions and recommendations of plenty of other linguists and polyglots who certainly should know what they’re talking about because they’ve either studied the process of language acquisition or they’ve learned multiple languages themselves. Contained in this episode is a distillation of lots of experiences, research and common knowledge about language learning, including my own thoughts and practical tips which I’ve picked up after 15 years of teaching English as a foreign language. I hope this will be a motivating, inspiring and interesting episode for you to listen to as part of your English learning journey. So, let’s go.

Quora www.quora.com

Do you know about a website called Quora? Quora.com

It’s a good website where people post all kinds of thoughtful questions and then other users chip in with answers.

The answers are then read and upvoted by members of the community, which helps the best information to be presented to everyone.

The result is that you get a selection of some of the best advice and information from people who actually know what they’re talking about.

It’s not a new concept. It’s been done before by Yahoo, Reddit and so on. But it seems that Quora is used by slightly more serious people and as a result the content on Quora is pretty reliable and intelligent.

You can sign up and choose what types of topic you’re interested in. I selected “Language learning” and came across this post. In fact I often get emails from Quora with interesting language learning questions and answers and they’re very interesting to read.

I also selected a bunch of other options, but I now can’t remember what they are – but I think they were pretty random ones, like I think I selected questions about gun control, science and technology. As a result, along with the language learning questions I also get sent some pretty bizarre Q&As about things like “Can you get shot in the head and survive?” and “What’s the worst bear attack in human history?” and “What happens to you when you die?” – all of which, I admit, I find fascinating too! Perhaps I’ll make podcast episodes about them too one day.

But this one is not about bears and stuff, no it’s about learning languages, and the question we’re looking at here is:

“What are the most essential skills of a good foreign language learner?”

http://www.quora.com/What-are-the-most-essential-skills-of-a-good-foreign-language-learner 

There are about 12 answers from different people.

This is perfect for an episode for LEP because I don’t need to prepare anything – I can just read through the different answers and make comments along the way.

OK, so here goes!

Anthony Lauder’s Presentation at the 2013 Polyglot Conference

Here’s that great presentation by Anthony Lauder at the 2013 Polyglot Conference. It has a slightly slow start, with a couple of technical difficulties (and I found it slightly offputting that he was presenting in shorts and flip flops but I suppose that shouldnt’ matter) but it really gets going after a few minutes. It’s very amusing and has some truly great insights into how to learn languages.

Mnemonic Dictionary

“libel” – http://www.mnemonicdictionary.com/?word=libel

lep-mug-painting