165. English Premier League Football

A discussion about football with a focus on the basic things you need to know about the Premier League and being a footy fan in England.

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Luke’s Intro
Hello listeners, this episode is all about football! Saturday afternoon, down the pub, going to a match, listening to the radio, the results coming in on your phone, the mixed emotions of a big game, the joy, the tension the disappointment, the celebrations, the rivalries, the joy of being a kid and playing football in the park, jumpers for goalposts, to the international spectacle of The World Cup – huge moments of drama witnessed by the whole world simultaneously, star players, controversial refereeing decisions, angry & stressed out managers, tears & injuries, that magic sponge that they use to cure injuries, the glamourous and sexy footballers’ wives, the sight of a perfectly struck free-kick – the ball spinning and curling in the air in slow motion as it glides over the wall and over the heads of defenders, curving in space and beyond the tips of the goalkeeper’s fingers as it sails majestically right into the top corner of the goal, sending the net billowing back and cascading behind it – the goalkeeper still falling, the player staring – there’s that brief moment of silence before the entire stadium explodes like a million tonnes of dynamite, but in a good way!

FOOTBALL! Our old friend.

Or maybe you can’t stand it. Maybe for you it’s just 90 minutes of crushing boredom – watching powerless while a bunch of overpaid prima donnas kick an air-filled sack around a green rectangle, while nothing happens, nothing changes. Men get either drunk, depressed and violent, or even worse; drunk, depressed and violent. The inarticulate players cheat, dive onto the floor like broken flowers – injured beyond repair, and then jump up back to full health, their wounds miraculously cured, to argue with the referee. The managers shout and just look stressed, no-one makes any sense when they talk about it, there’s way too much money involved and it never ever ends. Football.

But we love it, yes we do. It’s the world’s number 1 sport…

This episode is included in the transcript collaboration. Click here to transcribe part of this episode using a Google doc.

James Simpson
James is an English actor, comedian and Sheffield United fan. He now lives in Paris, and is one of the voices behind The Paris Pod, which is a great podcast about the life of English ex-pats in Paris.