593. Going through pages in an old diary

Listen to me reading out some pages from a diary which I wrote when I was 16 years old. Join me as I take a trip down memory lane and find out what I was doing, thinking and feeling 25 years ago. Some language is explained along the way. Vocabulary notes available below.

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Introduction Transcript

In this episode you’re going to hear me reading out some pages from an old diary I wrote 25 years ago, when I was 16 years old.

In the UK a diary can mean two things. Either it’s a plan, timetable or schedule for the future in which you write appointments and stuff, like “Let me check my diary – yes, I’m free that day to have coffee with you David Beckham”, but also a diary can be a sort of notebook in which you write a record of things you’ve done and all your thoughts and feelings every day.

It’s where you write all your most personal and private things. So, in this episode you’ll hear me going through an old diary that I wrote when I was 16.

I recorded this episode quite spontaneously actually. The idea just came to me and I quickly started recording. I didn’t use a script or notes at all, except for the things I was reading from the diary.

It’s a bit self-indulgent to read your own diary like this, and I don’t think that my teenage years have any particular significance or anything, no more than anyone else’s, but I found it strangely fascinating to look back on my life 25 years ago, reading out my thoughts and remembering what was important to me then and how I was growing up in various ways.

Imagine meeting your 16-year-old self. What would you say to that person? What would you think of their lifestyle and thoughts? What kind of advice would you like to give to them? That’s kind of what happens in this episode.

Things get a bit rude as I talk about girls and also drinking – underage drinking in fact – and there is some strong language, meaning swearing. All that stuff – drinking, swearing and snogging girls, that’s all quite normal for young people in the UK. I point that out because there’s bound to be some people listening to this who are slightly shocked about what I was doing aged 16 and 17, just because of cultural differences, but really, for the context of the UK, my late-teenage years were actually very normal.

Also, as I continue to read pages, things get a little bit dark in some places. But it’s not too serious or anything, just normal teenage angst I think.

I’ll let you find out more as you listen and I will be explaining various bits of language as I go.

Right then, so this is me, grabbing an old diary and going through its pages while rambling away into my microphone.

Vocabulary Notes

Imagine meeting your 16-year-old self. What would you say to that person? What would you think of their lifestyle and thoughts? (Using “they” or “them” as a non-gendered pronoun – very common)
Teenage angst
Went to the arcade and got really far (made progress) on “bass”
Navel gazing
Self-indulgent
Self-involved
It’s a little glimpse into what I was like at the time
I wanted a snog from Sarah
I could of (could have!!) easily got off with Sarah’s friend who fancies me
At 16 my grammar was pretty atrocious
As long as you hand in all your assignments, you don’t have to attend every class
I took that as a green light not to go to any classes
Pocket money from your parents or an allowance
When you get a bit older your parents give you an allowance
I’d turn up at college and I’d be borrowing money from my mates, scrounging things from my mates
I just want to take £10 into college and spend it all on people who have crashed me things
“Can you crash me a fag?”
“Can I bum a fag off you?”
When it really comes down to it, it’s most important to have mates who like you and that you like. Without that, you’re pretty fucked.
The lyrics really struck a chord with me. They really meant a lot to me.
As a teenager you start to get more profound feelings
You start feeling a deep sense of mystery or profundity about life
You’re carrying around all this baggage with you in terms of all the experiences you’ve had, and the people you’ve met and it just builds up and up and up, and you carry it with you every day
Constantly your body is repairing itself and rejuvenating itself
Does your body really replace itself every 7 years?
www.snopes.com/fact-check/does-body-replace-itself-seven-years/
It turns out that each body part has its own very distinct lifespan. The lining of the stomach, constantly under assault by digestive acid, is renewed every few days. But bones are refreshed once a decade. And there are a few parts of you that stay with you from birth to death. (NPR, care of Snopes.com, link above)
I couldn’t grasp why it was so important, it just felt very significant

Beastie Boys – Namaste (Lyrics) genius.com/Beastie-boys-namaste-annotated

More vocabulary notes

It’s quite cathartic to write your thoughts and feelings down
I spilt beer all over myself when I put my pint on the hand dryer and it slipped off
Jake, Ed and Mouse nearly bought it in a car crash.
Ed’s car is wrecked
Jake had a fracture in his arm
They all looked really shaken
Really good down-tempo atmospheric trip hop
I feel like things are slipping away
Get a grip, take control
Loads of people I know have turned into stuck up super-confident idiots. I felt like people were becoming arrogant.
I’ve got so much potential but I get stuck in a rut and I can’t lift myself out.
If I fail the DELTA it could be a big blow to me. I would like to just break away and drop out.
It did a world of good for my confidence, passing the DELTA.
The podcast has given me some purpose and a project to focus my creativity and energy on.
“Hearing those sounds again, it’s so evocative.”
Maybe a bit of oversharing going on here.
You shouldn’t wallow in the past.
To wallow in mud, wallow in misery, wallow in grief.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”
― Bill Keane

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
― Søren Kierkegaard

Some tracks from one of my mix tapes (this is the kind of thing I was listening to in 1994)

Waterloo Sunset – Lyrics

genius.com/The-kinks-waterloo-sunset-lyrics