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639. 3 Quintessentially British Books (that you might not know about) with Mum

Talking to my mum about some examples of quintessentially British things, in this case it’s 3 British books that she particularly likes.

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Introduction

Hello folks! Here is the last of this 3 part series I’ve been doing about quintessentially British things. I’m assuming now that you’ve heard the previous parts of this series and you know what this is all about.

If you haven’t heard those yet, may I gently suggest that you listen to them first? There’s one with my brother and then one with my dad too.

Now it’s my mum’s turn and since she is such a bookworm – she works in a bookshop, is a member of a book club and is a voracious reader, the three things she has chosen are all novels – books about British characters going through typically British experiences, mostly in the early part of the 20th century.

So if you’re looking for some interesting books to read in English, check out these ones which are some of my mum’s favourites.

Have a look at the page for this episode on the website where you will find the names of all the books we mention plus some other references and bits & pieces.

Remember you can sign up to my mailing list on my website to receive an email notification whenever I release a new episode, and that contains a link which will take you straight to the relevant page for that episode.

Now, without any further ado let me allow you to enjoy the nice tones of my mum’s voice as she talks to you about her quintessentially British things.


Book 1

J.L. Carr “A Month in the Country

Book 2

R. F. Delderfield “To Serve Them All My Days

Book 3

R.C. Sheriff “The Fortnight in September

Also mentioned

  • Withnail & I
  • Journey’s End by R.C. Sheriff
  • The Hopkins Manuscript by R.C. Sheriff

The previous episode with my mum about books.

The Withnail & I episode


Ending

So that was my mum and her three books. Let me say the titles again. There was “A Month in the Country” by J.L. Carr, “To Serve Them All My Days” by R. F. Delderfield and ““The Forgnight in September” by R.C. Sheriff.

It’s sort of a funny coincidence that all the writers of these books have initials at the start – J.L. Carr, R.F. Delderfield, R.C. Sheriff.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed listening to that and that you learnt a thing or two about the effects of the world wars on British people, and also that you might consider reading one of those novels yourself.

What do you think of my mum talking about books on this podcast? We did several episodes before together in which we talked a bit about books.

There was episode 488 teacherluke.co.uk/2017/10/26/488-a-rambling-conversation-with-mum-part-1-vocabulary/

And 489 teacherluke.co.uk/2017/10/30/489-a-rambling-conversation-with-mum-part-2-vocabulary/

Both of which dealt with things like my mum’s favourite podcast, some favourite people and different books she’s been reading.

What would you think of a fairly regular podcast series with my mum in which she talks about books she’s read. It could be called Mum’s Book Club. If you like the sound of that, let me know. I might be able to make it a regular feature, a bit like The Rick Thompson Report (and yes I need to make new one of them).

So would you like to hear more episodes of Mum’s Book Club? If so, let me know.

But that’s it for this episode. What did you think, overall, of this series? Did you learn anything about the UK? Did you get some good recommendations? Did you enjoy listening to my family? Let me know in the comment section.

I’ll speak to you again soon. Don’t forget to download the LEP App from the app store to get loads of bonus episodes, and consider signing up to my premium service to get regular monthly grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation lessons. Find out more at teacherluke.co.uk/premium

But for now, all that remains to be said is, good bye!

638. 3 Quintessentially British Things (that you might not know about) with Dad

Dad picks his 3 British things to talk about in this episode which covers things like ancient history, British northern landscapes and the canal system which built the industrial revolution and changed Britain forever.

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Introduction

Hello everyone and welcome all of you this new episode. You’re listening to number 638 and this is the second part in the series I’ve decided to call Quintessentially British Things (that you might not know about) in which I talk to members of my family about things that they think are significant or typical examples of Britishness in their eyes. 

I’m assuming that you’ve heard the previous episode in which James told us about 5 interesting English things, now it’s my dad’s turn and we decided to just go for 3 things this time instead of 5 to make sure the episode didn’t go on too long.

So you’re going to hear my dad describing certain aspects of Britain that include things like ancient history, the geographical and geological nature of these islands and how the industrial revolution changed the country.

There’s plenty of very descriptive language from my dad, plus quite a lot to learn in terms of history and geography.

You’ll notice that it sounds a bit like the Rick Thompson report at the beginning as we discuss what it really means to be British as opposed to English, Scottish, Irish or Welsh and there’s talk of the Scottish independence movement but my Dad assures me that his 3 things can be considered British.

We recorded this together in the living room at my parents’ place on New Years Eve and in fact we were still recording at the stroke of midnight, so you can hear Dad and me wishing each other a happy new year, enjoying some fireworks on TV and seeing in the beginning of the new decade together.

I think you know the concept of the episode now, so I will just let you enjoy listening to my dad talking about some British things that he likes in particular.


Standing stones in Orkney, Scotland
Norman Akroyd
Lindisfarne Castle
Hatton Locks

Ending

So that was my dad with his 3 quintessentially British things.

As ever I invite you to write your comments in the comment section if you have any, and don’t be a ninja hiding in the shadows like the vast majority of my listeners!

All that remains to be done is for me to remind you to download the LEP app from the app store to get the entire episode archive plus loads of bonus extras, and also to sign up to LEP Premium where I teach you grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation using target language which has occurred naturally in normal episodes of the podcast. To get started with that, go to teacherluke.co.uk/premium

Right then! Thanks for listening and I’ll speak to you again in the next one, which is going to be 3 Quintessentially British Things, with Mum.

Bye!

636. James & Luke Discuss Star Wars IX (SPOILERS) Final Star Wars Episode Ever?

James and Luke ramble about Star Wars IX one more time. This episode is full of little jokes, sketches, voices and full spoilers for The Rise of Skywalker.

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Introduction Transcript

Hello and welcome back to the podcast. Here is one more episode of film club dedicated to the ridiculous new Star Wars film – The Rise of Skywalker, which my brother James and I recently enjoyed watching at a cinema in Birmingham. 

This is a mammoth holiday season megaramble with James about Star Wars Episode 9 The Rise of Skywalker. 

Of course, if the Star Wars films don’t interest you then this might not be your cup of tea and I totally understand. 

Normal podcasting will be resumed shortly I promise. I have at least 3 other episodes in the pipeline that I recorded with members of my family this Christmas. I’m sticking this Star Wars one online now to be followed by plenty of other normal episodes afterwards and the usual audio and video content for premium subscribers. 

But for those of you who have seen The Rise of Skywalker and would like to listen to a funny conversation with my brother, as we have a beer and go through the plot of the film, with plenty of little jokes, criticisms and details we liked. If you’re up for it, I think you’ll enjoy this one, with a few potential “laugh out loud on the bus” moments.

Of course there will be full spoilers throughout this episode as we talk about all the details of the plot. So, watch out if you haven’t yet seen the film. 

Big Star Wars Questions

So we talk about the film’s plot and make all the comments we have about what happens,  but we also talk about some big Star Wars questions which this film raises, like:

  • Is Luke Skywalker a virgin?
  • Who would actually consent to have sex with Emperor Palpatine, and when did that happen?
  • What happens when a force-sensitive Jedi has an orgasm? Could it be a dangerous moment, and is that why the Jedi follow a strict code of celibacy?
  • Why is everything in the Star Wars universe made of such highly explosive material?
  • Can droids hack into anything? Where’s the cyber security in this universe?
  • Why does a fat pilot die in a space battle at the end of every film?
  • If “the force will be with you, always”, why do they also have to say “may the force be with you”?

Also I should point out that there is some swearing in this episode and some generally rude language at times, so you might want to bear that in mind if you’re listening to this with children or the swearing intolerant.

So, those of you who are still here, I assume you’d like to listen to us rambling on about this final Star Wars episode.

This might be the final star wars episode ever on this podcast, certainly for a while. But I might want to talk about The Mandalorian when it’s available where I live.

Part of me thinks it is a bit excessive to upload even more content about Star Wars but I actually think this conversation is much better than episode 633 which was my immediate reaction to seeing the film. Frustratingly, in that episode I struggled to talk articulately about it because I couldn’t remember the complex details of the plot! I’m afraid you may have listened to me umming and aahing as I went through the plot. 

I also missed a few points and generally struggled to be coherent about this film, partly because the film itself isn’t very coherent. 

But this conversation with James is worth a listen in my opinion. Star Wars can be quite a funny topic, with plenty of opportunities for voices, sketches and jokes. We recorded it in my dad’s office in the evening a few days after Christmas. It’s a long conversation, but I reckon it’s worth a listen. 

I would say, if I was learning a language, say French.

I would say that I would like to listen to a couple of people discussing The Rise of Skywalker in French, while defining little phrases and other points as they went along. That would be right up my street and would definitely be a good way to do some focused listening and language study. If only that podcast existed out there for French learners. Why is nobody doing that? Hey French LEPsters – where’s Le Podcast Francais de Jean-Pierre?

Anyway, hopefully this final star wars episode will be a step up from the last one and a genuinely enjoyable and useful thing for you to listen to. 

Oh, and Happy New Year.

______________

Ending

So there you go! Congratulations for listening all the way to the end of this. If you like this sort of thing – reviewing movies with some fun along the way, you might like my review of Avengers: Endgame which you can find in the LEP App in the app-only episodes category.

Apologies again for James’ sneezing and blowing of his nose but I think we can let him off because he has such bad allergies. I should say thanks again to James for taking part in this episode. I should do and I might. In fact I will. Thanks to James for this episode, to Dad for letting us use his office, for the local Sainsbury’s for providing us with some local beer for the recording.

But that’s almost it for this episode.

Next up on the podcast we have a few more episodes featuring members of my family. I’ll be speaking to James again, then my dad and then my mum. They’re all getting their own episodes. The theme of this little series is going to be “Quintessentially British Things” and I asked everyone to think of a few things that they thought were typically British or that they liked about the UK. So prepare for some chat about things like pop culture, literature, theatre, TV shows, British landscapes, places and history. They’re good episodes and I expect you’ll enjoy them very much.

But for now, it’s just time to say goodbye…

635. A New Year Ramble for 2020 (Part 2) Motivation / New Year’s Rules / Bilingual Daughter / Neil Innes

Luke rambles some more at the start of 2020 about new year’s resolutions, holiday stories, raising his daughter to be bilingual and a tribute to Neil Innes (with a song or two). Notes available below.

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Episode Transcript / Notes

Welcome back to Luke’s English Podcast. Here is the second part of this double episode I’m doing here at the beginning of this new decade.

In this episode I’ll be continuing to refresh the podcast for 2020 with this double-ramble in which I’m talking about the kinds of things you normally talk about in the new year period – what I did during my holiday, my new years resolutions, some of my plans for the future for the podcast and also a chance to reestablish some of the main aims for this show. Also I’ll be talking about my daughter’s English and our efforts to bring her up to be bilingual.

This is part 2, you should also listen to part 1 first.

Do you have any new year resolutions?

Luke rambles about motivation and attitude in learning English

Avoid comment sections on YT, Twitter etc

Work hard, get a good routine, eat well, don’t drink too much, be loving with my loved ones, organise things with my wife, get my bike fixed, keep working on the podcast and trying to make it better all the time.

Here’s something I saw Billy Bragg tweet the other day. It’s some New Year’s Rules by folk singer Woody Guthrie in the 50s or 60s. I thought it was quite good and I intend to follow some of these steps.

What did you get for Christmas?

Paul McCartney tickets

My second chance to see him live and my first opportunity to see him do a whole concert.

I’m very excited to see an actual Beatle doing a show and I understand that he puts on a really great show. I am very interested to see which songs he chooses to play, since I am a big fan and I know almost all of his work. I think he does a lot of Beatles songs these days and has a fantastic band that he’s been working with for ages.

Any other stories from your holiday?

Saw The Snowman with our daughter.

What’s The Snowman?
In the local church with the stained glass windows and a live orchestra playing along and some singing. They put up a screen in there.

She is now obsessed by snowmen and said “sennan” whenever she sees one, woke up saying sennan sennan in the morning. Must have been dreaming about a snowman. Kept saying sennan! Sennan! When she spotted one in the street or at the airport.

My Daughter’s English

Is she bilingual?
Are you raising her to be bilingual?
How are you working on her two languages?

I am planning a whole series of podcast episodes about this, but let’s talk about it a bit now.

Principles

  • Kids need a reason to learn another language. French is obvious, I’m working on the English.
  • It seems to help if you do English in certain situations or always with a certain person. Major language and minor language. Outside, French is the major language and I’m not worried about her picking it up like a native. She goes to daycare in French, will go to school in French, will have French speaking friends going to French speaking parties. There’s no doubt that she’ll learn French. English is the minor language there because she will use it only sometimes, usually when I’m with her. Then in the house, English is the major language and French the minor one. I speak English with her, I speak English to my wife and my wife speaks a lot of English and some French. We have English books, listen to English songs and also i just play BBC Five Live, 6 Music or Radio 4 in the background quite a lot. She likes watching some cartoons in English and is quite obsessed by The Beatles and often demands to watch Beatle videos on YouTube, which I’m very happy about of course.
  • Also, when we go back to England she spends all her time in English, talking to my parents, my brother and just people in shops and stuff. Sometimes she sees her cousins and speaks English with them, but they live in the US these days.
  • In terms of her having a reason for learning English, hopefully it will be obvious but I expect at some point I will have to explain it. English is the language of her dad and all the dad’s side of her family. She is English as well as French and so this is a whole aspect of her personality and her family. Also if she wants to really get to know me she needs to do it in English. The other persuasive things are the fact that a lot of music, TV and films are in English and English can give her way more opportunities in the future. And, hopefully, I can convince her that it’s somehow cool to be able to speak English like an English person.
  • Her English is coming along. I think her French is a bit better at the moment, but the English is not far behind.
  • Bilingual kids take a bit longer to speak, but she’s doing fine.
    (Play recording)

Quintessentially British Things

This is a podcast series that’s coming soon. I think I’ve mentioned it so I won’t go on about it too much but…

Here’s a little preview of what’s to come for the next few episodes.

First there’s the Star Wars 9 megaramble with James, and then a series of 1 to 1 conversations with members of my family.

The idea was that I wanted them to pick a few typically British or English things and then talk about them on the podcast. They could be anything that they thought was interesting or worth talking about → quintessentially British, meaning very typical examples of Britishness, and not the usual cliches like tea, fish and chips, Mr Bean etc.

The result is three conversations about some interesting aspects of British culture, history and geography and also a good chance to get to know each member of my family a bit more, through the British things they like talking about.

So, coming soon to LEP → Quintessentially British Things

Neil Innes

I interviewed James, Dad and Mum for that series, but nobody interviewed me. If they had, my QBT would be Neil Innes, who sadly died on 29 December. Neil was one of my favourite people in the world and I was really sad to know that he’d died as was everyone else in my family because we’re all big fans.

Basically, Neil Innes was a musician, song writer, comedian and a sort of absurdist as well as various other things.

He was a member of The Bonzo Dog Doodah Band (later The Bonzo Dog Band).
His song “Urban Spaceman” was produced by Paul McCartney and was a hit.
Worked with Roger McGough and Mike McCartney.
Worked with Monty Python (the 7th python) and provided music, sketches and performances.
Worked with Eric Idle on Rutland Weekend Television, where they invented The Rutles, which later became a feature film. Innes wrote two albums worth of music for it. The whole thing was a Beatles parody, but perfectly done and the music was incredibly spot on. For me The Rutles music is up there with The Beatles. I find them to be as good as a lot of my favourite Beatles songs, and yet there is an added enjoyment in that they’re postmodern comedy songs commenting on the Beatles and their age, through a perfect musical parody of them.

Neil Innes went on to record several albums which had music videos too. The albums span many genres of music and there are a lot of really interesting, funny, and spellbinding songs in his discography.

Neil Innes was a brilliant songwriter, an excellent lyricist, and a very wise, aware man who seemed to live a fairly ordinary suburban life, while also writing psychedelic masterpieces. I think he’s a national treasure, but he’s still not that well known. Still, the papers published obituaries of him and there was a lot of stuff on twitter with various people announcing the sad news and wishing his family well.

But it’s sad knowing that he is not with us any more. I used to like the fact that he was in the world and now he isn’t, so it’s sad.

My mum announced the news when my dad, me and my daughter had been out to the park. She came in with a tear in her eye and said “Neil Innes has died”. We all used to listen to The Rutles songs at home and in the car and watched the film lots of times together. James and Dad even went to see The Rutles perform in London, which was mainly just Neil Innes and his band doing all the songs.

So, a long ramble about SW and then 3 episodes about QBT, which I think you should find interesting.

That’s what’s coming up next on LEP!

As ever, thank you for sticking with the podcast all the way to the end of the episode and for being a loyal listener! Don’t forget to subscribe to the YouTube channel, download the LEP App from the app store and consider becoming a premium subscriber in 2020!

The Rutles – Unfinished Words (lyrics) genius.com/The-rutles-unfinished-words-lyrics

631. 29 Awful Christmas Jokes, Explained

The annual Christmas episode of LEP is here! Explaining 29 truly awful jokes that you might get in a Christmas cracker this year. Enjoy! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

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Introduction

Hello folks, welcome to this new episode.

Season’s Greetings

This is the traditional Christmas episode of LEP.

We’ve got a log fire burning in the background, just to create the right atmosphere. We’re feeling festive, we’re feeling Christmassy.

That’s right, it’s Christmas time again. This is the 11th Christmas that I have celebrated on LEP now.

I know that not all of you celebrate Christmas, but I hope you feel part of this anyway, because for me Christmas should be a season of goodwill to everyone, so – you’re all welcome to listen, enjoy and take part in this one.

The title of this episode is “29 Awful Christmas Jokes, Explained”.

Awful Christmas Jokes

This is Christmas so I’m using Christmas cracker jokes. Jokes that you find in Christmas crackers. So, this is an episode about Christmas Cracker Jokes, which are awful.

What are Christmas crackers, Luke?

Why do they have jokes in them? → They just do, ok?

Cracker jokes usually have some kind of Christmas theme, or at least some kind of seasonal theme like something involving snow or other festive images.

Christmas cracker jokes are almost always awful, cringeworthy puns, but I quite like that, personally.

Christmas cracker jokes are much more likely to make you groan than laugh, although if you are in the right mood, some of them might catch you by surprise and could make you LOL during your Christmas holiday or should I call that the Christmas LOLiday. Yep, that’s the level we’re operating at here.

Right, so in a moment I’m going to tell you the jokes, let’s see if you get them all. Afterwards I will explain them as well.

There is a lot of English to learn from this – vocabulary, or certain little features of pronunciation which form the centrepiece of the joke – the double meaning that makes your brain go BZZZ and then either you laugh or you just groan. Remember, if you don’t get the joke you have to say “I don’t get it”.

I got most of these jokes from a list I found on the Telegraph’s website.

Link here www.telegraph.co.uk/christmas/0/revealed-50-worst-christmas-cracker-jokes-ever/

This will actually be a good test of your general English comprehension skills, but also your knowledge of Christmas vocabulary. I’ve you’ve heard my previous Christmas episodes, like the A to Z of Christmas, then you’ll probably get these. But you definitely need to be on your toes regarding the Christmas vocabulary specifically. I’ll be going through all of that after I’ve told these jokes.

I’m going to play some generic Christmas background music in order to create a festive atmosphere.

Let’s see how many of these 29 awful jokes you can get.

Here we go.

Generic Christmas background music

29 Awful Christmas Jokes

  1. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
    A Christmas quacker
  2. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
    Tinsillitis
  3. Did Rudolph go to school?
    No, he was elf-taught
  4. Who is Santa’s favourite singer?
    Elfis Presley
  5. What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
    It’s Christmas, Eve.
  6. How many letters are in the alphabet at Christmas?
    25 – there’s no-el
  7. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
    Because they always drop their needles
  8. What did the farmer get for Christmas?
    A cowculator
  9. Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
    They were two deer
  10. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
    “Can you smell carrots?”
  11. Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?
    The outside
  12. What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
    Freeze a jolly good fellow
  13. What happened to Santa when he went speed dating?
    He pulled a cracker
  14. Who’s Rudolph’s favourite singer?
    Beyon-sleigh
  15. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
    Santa Jaws
  16. What athlete is warmest in winter?
    A long jumper
  17. What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
    “I don’t like sprouts!”
  18. Why does your nose get tired in winter?
    It runs all day
  19. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Frostbite
  20. What kind of music do elves listen to?
    Wrap
  21. What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
    A Holly Davidson
  22. What do reindeer put on their Christmas trees?
    Hornaments
  23. What happened to the man who stole an Advent calendar?
    He got 25 days
  24. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
    He gives them the sack
  25. What happened when Santa got stuck in a chimney?
    He felt Claus-trophobic
  26. How do snowmen get around?
    By riding an icicle
  27. How did Scrooge win the football match?
    The ghost of Christmas passed
  28. Why is it getting so hard to buy Advent calendars?
    Their days are numbered
  29. How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey?
    On the dark side

So, how many did you get? Did you laugh? Did you groan? Did you say “I don’t get it”?

Let me now explain everything for you.

I said before that all these jokes rely on your knowledge of specific Christmas vocabulary, so to help you a little bit I’m going to say all the items of vocab, just as a reminder. Then I’ll go through the jokes one by one and you might get them.

Christmas Vocabulary

Here is all the Christmas vocab in those 29 jokes. Listen to hear me explain all the items.

  • A christmas cracker
  • Christmas decorations
  • Christmas trees (they have needles and usually drop their needles during the holiday period)
  • Tinsel
  • Holly
  • Ornaments
  • An advent calendar
  • Santa (Claus) aka Father Christmas
  • Reindeer
  • Rudolph
  • Blitzen
  • Horns
  • A sleigh
  • The chimney
  • Elf / elves
  • A sack (of presents)
  • Christmas eve
  • Noel
  • To get something for christmas
  • Presents
  • To wrap presents
  • A snowman
  • To freeze
  • Icicles
  • Frost
  • To get frostbite (not a typical Christmas thing, but it might happen if you’re exposed to sub-zero temperatures, which are also no-longer normal at Christmas)
  • A long jumper / sweater
  • A turkey (Do you like dark meat or white meat?)
  • Sprouts
  • Scrooge (A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens – read out by me in episode 320)

Now let’s go through those jokes again and break them down

Scroll back up to read the jokes again.

That’s it! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year for 2020!

Thank you for listening to Luke’s English Podcast!!

629. Do you ever … ? (with James) Strange Habits & Funny Observations

A funny conversation about strange habits that we don’t often talk about, with my brother James. Notes & scripts available below.

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Yes, this is a long episode…

…but remember the best way to listen to these episodes is by using a podcast app on your phone. That way you can listen to a bit, pause the episode and when you choose to listen again your app will remember where you previously stopped. If you’re wondering which podcast app to use, let me recommend the Luke’s English Podcast App, which contains the entire episode archive and loads of bonus stuff. Just search for Luke’s English Podcast App in the app store for Apple devices or Google Play store for Android, and yes it’s completely free. Using a podcast app means that you don’t have to listen to an entire episode in one sitting, which is the best way to listen to longer podcasts like this one.

Introduction (after the jingle)

In this episode, let’s just ask each other a bunch of “do you ever?” questions.

This is going to involve using present simple tense a lot. This is the most basic verb tense we have in English, and we use it to talk about permanent facts and habitual behaviour.

In lessons at school this tense is often taught to students at low levels because it’s a really important foundation for general English, but it tends to be a little bit dull – not the way students deal with the tense, but the way it’s presented in textbooks. Usually, materials based around present simple tense just involve daily routines, what time you normally get up, eat lunch, go to bed etc.

Students at that level lack the vocabulary to be able to talk about habits and routines in a more complex way. When they do have more vocabulary at higher levels, the course books always focus on other tenses – e.g. past tenses for telling stories about the past, future tenses for making predictions about the future, conditional sentences and modal verbs for speculating and so on.

The poor present simple tense is left with this boring reputation of just being a low-level bit of grammar which we only use to talk about what time we get up in the morning and how often we go to the gym.

So, let’s come back to present simple tense and see if we can use it to talk about slightly more unusual and fun things.

As a teacher, the main problem I have noticed when students are using present simple tense is just remembering to add ‘s’ or maybe ‘es’ (which often adds another syllable to the word – like ‘I wish’ and ‘he wishes’ for example). Often it’s just missing 3rd person forms. Like someone saying “He go” when it should be “he goes”. It’s so basic but it’s worth self-correcting if it happens.

Anyway, this episode is called “Do you ever?” and I’ve prepared a big list of unusual behaviour which I think we don’t often talk about, but which I think many of us do, or maybe it’s just me.

Now, I don’t necessarily do all of these things. They’re just based on observations I’ve made. Also, some of the things in this list were written by my brother during a conversation we had ages ago about weird little habits that we have.

Let’s see what happens in terms of the language that comes out. Will we switch to other tenses at any point? What kind of vocabulary will emerge? And do you ever do these slightly unusual things?

***Interruption***

I’m interrupting here because, before we go any further, I think it’s necessary to say a few things about this episode in order to help you understand it all a bit better.

First of all, you should know that this is quite a silly and rambling episode and it shouldn’t be taken too seriously. Most of what you’re going to hear is just for fun really and I hope you enjoy it.

There is quite a lot of rude language in the episode and by that I mean things like the F word (you mean the word “Fuck” – err, yes – OKay, thanks. Just checking. Wait – who are you? Never mind, carry on!) So there is some swearing but for me that’s quite normal in an informal situation but obviously – swearing is still not a good idea in polite company or at work for example. But for two people like James and me chatting informally at home, swearing might happen and, you know – I want this to be authentic, as if you’re sitting with us the whole time. So, that’s why there is swearing.

Also, I think it will probably be difficult for many of you to follow this conversation because we talk about some very specific and quite personal things, sometimes we talk quickly because we’re in a rush to say things before the other one interrupts us, we talk over each other sometimes and the topic of conversation changes a lot as we go through each question quite quickly.

So this is definitely going to be a difficult one, depending on your level of English of course. But sometimes you need a challenge!

Generally, I think I am quite easy to understand when I’m talking on my own, even when I’m speaking quickly. I just have a clear voice. But when I’m talking to friends on the podcast I think it becomes a lot more difficult to understand everything and that might demotivate you. But you need a bit of a challenge from time to time. I hope the bits that you understand will carry you through the bits that you don’t understand.

But I do want to help you understand as much as possible, so I’m now going to read out all the Do You Ever…? Questions that we answer in this episode. I’m going to read them all out now, just to give you a chance to understand them all in advance. This can make a big difference to your comprehension of this conversation.

If you have already had a chance to think about the different things that we talk about, you’ll be in a much better position to understand it all.

So, let me now go through this list of “Do you ever…?” questions and I’d like you to concentrate and just try to understand each one and then prepare to hear what we have to say about them in the rest of the conversation.

You should also consider whether you do these particular little things or not, and if you consider them to be normal, funny or weird.

Right, so listen carefully – these are the questions that James and I are going to discuss in this conversation. Here we go…

Do you ever…?

  • Get song lyrics stuck in your head (like an earworm)

  • Aim at things when you pee

  • Use a special system for getting to sleep

  • Have dreams or nightmares

  • Wave at people on boats

  • Look out of the window in a moving car and imagine that you’re running along next to the car like Mario or Sonic, jumping over obstacles, or that you’re cutting everything with a huge saw or laser as you move past

  • Shave your beard into a funny moustache for a moment when shaving

  • Talk to yourself in a different voice, when nobody else is around

  • Wipe while sitting or wipe while standing

  • Imagine doing an amazing performance in front of your old school during an assembly or something

  • Avoid stepping on the cracks in the pavement, or live by any other superstitions

  • Go to the hairdressers and have a really bad time but say nothing about it

  • Drink loads of tea or coffee at work just so you get more toilet breaks

  • Smoke cigarettes because you’re bored, or decide to smoke a cigarette because you see someone in a movie smoking

  • Imagine what you would do if a zombie apocalypse happened right now

  • Count the number of steps it takes you to get up a flight of stairs or go from the sofa to the toilet

  • Flip something, like a remote control, in the air over and over again until you drop it

  • Do fake bets with yourself or your friends

  • Badly need the loo on the way home

  • Listen to songs and completely misunderstand or mishear the lyrics

    Fugzi – Waiting Room

    The lyrics are, “I am a patient boy. I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait.”

    James thought it was, “I am a pastry boy. I weigh, I weigh, I weigh, I weigh.” 

  • Open toilet doors with your elbows

  • Use the back of your hand or certain fingers for touching your face, as if the back of your hand or your knuckle are ‘totally safe’

  • Think “that would be a good name for a band”

  • Fall asleep in public and then suddenly wake up because your head has suddenly moved, you’ve snored or you’ve made another noise, or your head has moved back and your mouth has hung open, or you’ve drooled out of your mouth

  • Throw a ball of paper at the bin, miss, pick up the ball and try again from the exact same spot as before

  • Eat any parts of yourself – e.g nails, dead skin or bogies

  • Tap your foot to the beat of other people’s music which you can overhear from their headphones, in order to show them that you can hear it (or because the music is actually good)

  • Walk past someone you know in the street and go to say hello, then realise they’ve chosen to blank you (to ignore you)

  • Not move down in public transport even though you could, because you want to save space for yourself and because you generally hate other people

  • Fall in love with a stranger on public transport and yet do absolutely nothing about it other than glance at them and hope they don’t notice

  • Add your own voiceover track to films or TV shows

  • Doodle particular things with a pen while you’re on the phone

  • Hate strangers on public transport for no reason

  • Put toast in the toaster, it comes up not done properly, then you put it back and then it’s burnt

  • Lie on your back and throw a ball or maybe an orange into the air, and fail to catch it

  • Walk for ages with a stone in your shoe – it feels massive, then you take it out and it’s tiny

  • Find everything totally fascinating, just before bedtime – especially if you promised yourself earlier in the day that you’d have an early night


Ending

That was the LEP Jingle Megamix that you heard at the end there. I haven’t played that on the podcast for a while. If you’d like to know where all those little samples in that jingle come from, check out the Jingles & Music category in the LEP App. There’s a full episode there in which I go through all the samples and explain where they all come from. It’s called “Deconstructing the LEP Jingle Megamix”.

Well done for listening to all of that. I wonder how many of you have made this far, and how many people just couldn’t handle it any longer for whatever reason, and how many skeletons there are with headphones on right now – skeletons that were perfectly healthy fresh-faced humans when they started listening to this, who slowly perished as the episode went on.

But not you – no, you made it all the way through and there’s a good chance you laughed with us, and perhaps were struck by a profound sense of shared experience when you realised that you also do some of the things we talked about.

But well done to you, in any case and I hope you also picked up some English along the way – because, after all, that is the main purpose of this whole thing, of course. I expect the lower level listeners or the more serious listeners probably stopped listening because they couldn’t keep up or because they felt that they didn’t have time. I’m not going to get into all the stuff about the pros and cons of long episodes vs shorter episodes and things like that. Anyway, the point is – if you made it this far then “nice one” and I wonder what your favourite moments were from this episode. You could share your thoughts in the comment section of course.

Let me thank James again for being on the podcast. I always enjoy our episodes together and I hope that that comes across in the recording.

Right, time to stop talking. There’s no time to mention that you should sign up to LEP Premium at www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium. No time to that, but you should anyway. There are now over 60 premium items available and more premium episodes are coming, I promise. They just take quite a lot of work and preparation. But there will be more coming before Christmas.

All I’ll say now is thank you again for listening and I will speak to you again on the podcast soon, but for now – goodbye!

What’s the music at the end of the episode, Luke?

The music you can hear at the end is called Wonderland and it was produced by James on his Akai MPC2000. You can check it out (and his other tunes) on his Soundcloud page here soundcloud.com/jt-2000

628. OASIS (with James)

A conversation with James about the English rock band Oasis, including details about their story, music, lyrics and the sibling rivalry between Noel and Liam Gallagher.

[DOWNLOAD]

Introduction

Hello listeners, how are you today? Welcome to this new episode.

As you can see from the title, this episode is all about Oasis – and yes, that is Oasis the band. Do you know them? Many of you will be thinking “Yes, I know them Luke!” or “Of course we know them – and you like to do impressions of them on the podcast. So yeah we definitely know them!” but some of you will be thinking, “huh?” “who?” “Oasis?” “what?”

The name might be pronounced differently in your country. In France they’re called “owA-zees”. In Japan it’s オアシス “O-wa-shisu” (something like that).  In English it’s a 3-syllable word and the stress is on the second syllable. o-WAY-sis.

Anyway, Oasis man. Do you know what I mean?

*Luke plays some musical clips to make sure you know who Oasis are

Do you know what I mean?

Most of you probably do. But in any case, here is a pithy summary.

Oasis are (I’m saying “are” because it’s a group) a rock band from Manchester in England. They became famous in the early to mid 1990s, but they continued as a band until 2009 when they split up, acrimoniously (which means that they had an argument and fell out).

The most famous members of the group are the Gallagher brothers – Noel and Liam. They were born to Irish parents living in Manchester. So they’re English, Mancunian to be more specific, but with Irish roots.

They are famous for their particular brand of rock & roll music which seemed to be heavily influenced by so many classic British bands from the 60s, 70s and 80s, and their general attitude and demeanour – unpretentious, cool and funny, but also arrogant, cocky, rude and sometimes even violent and aggressive.

There’s a lot more to it than just those things and that is why my brother James and I decided the other day to record an episode all about this band.

Yes, this is a long episode, but it should cover most of the significant details (although I’m sure that we’ve missed certain things).

Remember, you don’t have to listen to this episode all in one go. You can pause and the podcast app on your phone will remember where you stopped, and then you can carry on later. So, break it up a bit if you like.

The aim for the episode is to tell you the main things that I think you need to know about Oasis and their music and to try to explain their cultural significance (in the UK at least) and personal significance (to us). Also, I just want to provide you with more content which I hope is interesting to listen to in order to help with your English.

At the end of the episode you will hopefully be more able to understand and talk about this iconic English band.

Just one other thing before we continue… There is quite a lot of swearing in this episode, so it’s not really for children or the swearing intolerant.

Right then, without any further ado, let’s get fockin’ started man.

Videos (some things we mentioned in the conversation)

Supersonic (Official documentary from 2016) (2 mins)

Oasis perform Supersonic on The Word (1994) The first time they appeared on national TV (3 mins)

How Supersonic was written and recorded (from the documentary) (1min30)

Bad behaviour (1min30sec)

Slide Away (with Lyrics) Every line is like the title of a song or album

Liam and Noel argue, then Liam refuses to sing (I can’t really follow what they’re saying but it’s quite interesting to watch anyway!)

Noel talks about his song being sung by the crowd after the Manchester terrorist attack (3mins)

Champagne Supernova (with Lyrics man)

Kevin & Perry (from BBC’s Harry Enfield’s Television Programme) Perry becomes a proper geezer after a trip to Manchester (2min30sec)

And more videos…

Some other interesting and funny Oasis moments.

Noel Gallagher’s DVD commentary for the Live Forever video (5mins)

Noel Gallagher interview with comedy legend Frank Skinner (30 mins)

Liam listens to other people’s music and gives his opinions (2mins20sec)

Noel talks about why Oasis split up (7mins) “I never had enough of Oasis, I had enough of him [Liam]”

627. Emina’s Long Journey to English Proficiency

My friend Emina Tuzovic has learned English to a proficient level as a non-native speaker of the language. She says it has been “a long journey”. Let’s find out all about that journey of English learning in this conversation, recorded in London just a couple of days ago.

[DOWNLOAD]

Introduction

Today on the podcast I am talking to my friend Emina Tuzovic, who is an English teacher.

For ages and ages I have been meaning to have Emina on this podcast for 3 main reasons:

1. Emina is absolutely lovely and it’s just nice to spend time talking with her, plus there’s plenty I’d like to find out from her that I’ve never really asked her before. That’s a benefit of the podcast, it gives me a chance to have in-depth conversations that often just don’t happen otherwise.

2. She is a non-native speaker of English who has learned the language to a proficient level – good enough to do a masters, a PhD, and to teach English at a very high level, to deliver workshops and seminars and just to live in the UK for a good length of time. So, she must have some valuable insights and experiences about learning English because she’s done it herself, but also about the cultural experience of moving to London and living there for what must be about 15 years at least I think.

3. She is a very well-qualified and experienced English teacher and so I am sure she has loads of insights into learning English from that point of view too, including certain areas of specialist knowledge as a result of her academic studies, including things like the challenges faced by native speakers of Arabic when they learn English. I’ve never talked about Arabic speakers of English on the podcast, so hello to all my Arabic speaking listeners (or should that be marhabaan.

As I said, it’s been quite hard to pin Emina down and interview her – mainly because our timetables are different, I live in Paris, she lives in London and she goes to bed so early in the evening. Thankfully the universe has finally allowed it to happen, here at the London School of English in Holland Park, London. This is where I used to work and where Emina still does work.

So the aim here is to have a long(ish) and natural conversation with Emina, touching on topics like learning English, cultural differences in the UK, teaching English and her academic studies in linguistics.

626. The Rick Thompson Report: Boris Johnson’s Brexit Deal / General Election / Football

An update from my dad about Brexit, including details about Boris Johnson’s deal, the shutting down of Parliament, the upcoming general election and more. Includes some chat about Premiership football at the end.

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Introduction

Last time we spoke it was early August. Boris Johnson had recently become the PM and was going to negotiate a new Brexit deal after Theresa May had failed to get Parliament to accept the deal she spent over 2 years to get. Brexit, at the time was due to happen on 31st October.

I just have one question, which is “What’s been going on?”

Some Vocabulary

  • I’m getting a sense of deja vu
  • it’s a fudge / it was fudged
  • “I’d rather be dead in a ditch than ask for another extension” – Boris Johnson
  • Whips / The party whip
  • The electorate
  • To put/throw a spanner in the works
  • To upset the apple cart
  • A disreputable character
  • To stand your candidate down
  • None of this is spelled out but that’s what it means
  • You can jump to your own conclusions
  • Boris Johnson has refused point-blank
  • He’s saying Parliamentary Democracy is now defunct
  • The proroguing of parliament was null and void
  • Is that a political coup?
  • It would have been the biggest constitutional crisis since they cut Charles I’s head off
  • They didn’t get away with it

Ending

So there you have it. That was the Rick Thompson Report, recorded on Wednesday 13 November 2019.

The comment section is open if you’d like to share your thoughts there.

New episodes of LEP Premium are coming. To sign up go to www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium

Also download my app to get the entire archive plus loads of bonus extras like the phrasal verb series, various videos and also bonus app only episodes. You can also access the premium subscription through the app.

Thanks for listening and I’ll speak to you again on the podcast soon!