Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You can learn from it, but the frog dies in the process. Let me tell you 49 jokes (of varying quality). How many do you understand? I will explain all the jokes. How much vocabulary can you learn in the process? Joke list, vocabulary list & vocabulary quiz below.

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Intro notes, Vocabulary, Links 👇

It’s time to do some more jokes on the podcast!

In this episode I’m going to go through a list of jokes I haven’t read before. 

I’ll read them out to you, you can try to understand the jokes. What’s funny? 

Often it’s about vocabulary double meanings or maybe little cultural references. 

Then I’ll explain them all one by one so you can fully understand anything you might have missed, including any important vocabulary.

So I’ll read the jokes out to you and then I’ll explain them.

Of course, whenever I explain jokes on this podcast I have to read out this quote. It’s not clear who first said it.

So, these jokes might die as I explain them, but at least you should learn some English from all this.

I found all these jokes on BoredPanda.com ← a website I often use to find jokes. 

It’s not clear who wrote these. They’re probably just those unauthored jokes that get shared around by people over the years.

On the website it says these are “jokes for teens”, but I think this just means that there aren’t any particularly rude jokes in here. I think they’re jokes for anyone.

I’ll read out about 10 jokes, and then I’ll go back and explain them.

Then I’ll do another 10, and so on, and we’ll keep going until we can’t take it any more.

150 Jokes For Teens To Spice Up Those Moments Of Boredom | Bored Panda

JOKE LIST 👇

1. How do you know when you’re desperate for an answer?
   You look at the second page of Google search results.
2. What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?Guardians of the Galaxy.
3. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
   I don’t know, and I don’t care.
4. Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands?
   Because they’re extinct.
5. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger.
   Then it hit me.
6. Are you free tomorrow?
   No, I’m expensive. Sorry.
7. What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
   The walking debt.
8. Why did God supposedly make men before He made women?
   Because everyone needs a rough draft.
9. Why was the Maths book sad?
   It had too many problems.
10. My boss told me yesterday, “You shouldn’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.”
    But when I turned up today in Ghostbusters clothes, he said I was fired.
11. If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
    Big hands.
12. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
    Because she’ll let it go!
13. What should you do when no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
    Keep going until you get a reaction.
14. What animal is the worst at hiding?
    The leopard — he’s always spotted.
15. What has four wheels and flies?
    A garbage truck!
16. What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
    Reali-tea.
17. I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
18. Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet?
    If they don’t, they’ll be lost at C.
19. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
    Finding half a worm in your apple.
20. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
    It’s okay. He woke up.
21. What do you call a Minecraft meetup IRL?
    A block party.
22. Why are spiders such know-it-alls?
    They’re always on the web.
23. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
    Look for the fresh prints.
24. A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
25. Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
    He drank his coffee before it was cool.
26. What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?
    Feyoncè.
27. I thought I’d tell you a brilliant time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
28. Why can’t you trust an atom?
    Because they make up everything.
29. Can February March?
    No, but April May.
30. A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A boy responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”
31. I thought my neighbours were lovely people. Then they went and put a password on their wi-fi.
32. What kind of music do balloons hate?
    Pop.
33. What side of a turkey has the most feathers?
    The outside.
34. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?
    An envelope.
35. How did the bullet lose its job?
    It got fired.
36. What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
    Ouch!
37. Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
    Because they can’t even.
38. What does a high school basketball player and a jury have in common?
    The Court.
39. I think my algebra teacher is a pirate.
    All she ever wants to do is find X.
40. How does the moon cut its hair?
    E-clipse it.
41. Why did the selfie go to prison?
    It was framed.
42. Which hand is better to write with?
    Neither. It’s better to write with a pencil!
43. Were any famous men and women born on your birthday?
    No, only babies.
44. What do you call high school kids who haven’t been able to go to school because of COVID-19?
    Quaranteens.
45. What do you call the horse that lives next door?
    Your neigh-bour!
46. How do you drown a hipster?
    In the mainstream.
47. How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
    Shocked!
48. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
    A stick.
49. Why do bees have sticky hair?
    Because they use honey combs!

Vocabulary List

• To be desperate for something
  She was desperate for a drink of water after running the marathon.
• Ignorance
  His ignorance about the current political situation made the conversation difficult.
• Apathy
  The manager was frustrated by the staff’s apathy towards improving their performance.
• Clap your hands
  The audience began to clap their hands after the incredible performance.
• Be extinct
  Dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.
• It hit me
  As I was walking home, it suddenly hit me that I had forgotten my wallet at the restaurant.
• To have debt / to be in debt
  After finishing university, he was in debt because of all the student loans.
• To go hiking
  We decided to go hiking in the mountains this weekend to enjoy the fresh air.
• A rough draft
  I submitted a rough draft of my essay to the teacher for feedback before finalizing it.
• To get fired / to get sacked
  He got fired from his job for consistently arriving late.
• To get a reaction
  The comedian made a joke, hoping to get a reaction from the audience.
• A chemical reaction
  When you mix baking soda with vinegar, a chemical reaction occurs, producing bubbles.
• To spot something
  I managed to spot my friend in the crowd at the concert.
• Hard to swallow
  The news of the company’s sudden closure was hard to swallow for the employees.
• To collect / gather dust
  That old bicycle in the garage has been collecting dust for years.
• To be lost at sea
  The sailors were lost at sea after their navigation system broke down.
• To be a know-it-all
  Nobody likes working with John because he acts like a know-it-all, even when he’s wrong.
• To form an emotional bond with someone
  Over time, the foster child formed a strong emotional bond with his new family.
• To like something before it was cool
  He prides himself on liking that band before it was cool.
• To make something up
  She didn’t know the answer, so she made something up to avoid looking clueless.
• Odd numbers
  Odd numbers like 3, 5, and 7 are not divisible by 2.
• Even numbers
  Even numbers like 2, 4, and 6 can be divided by 2 without a remainder.
• A basketball court
  They played a competitive game on the basketball court near the school.
• A law court (judge, jury, lawyers, defendant)
  The defendant stood nervously in the law court as the jury delivered the verdict.
• To be framed
  She was innocent, but her jealous colleague framed her to take the blame.
• Mainstream vs alternative
  While he prefers alternative music, his brother enjoys more mainstream pop songs.
• To comb your hair
  After getting out of the shower, she carefully combed her hair to get rid of the tangles.
• Honeycomb
  The beekeeper harvested the honeycomb from the hive to extract the honey.

Vocabulary Quiz (answers below)

Part 1: Multiple Choice

Select the correct meaning or synonym for each word or phrase.

1. To be desperate for something means:
   a) To have no interest in something
   b) To urgently need or want something
   c) To be indifferent to something
2. Ignorance refers to:
   a) Lack of knowledge
   b) A strong dislike
   c) A sudden idea
3. Apathy is:
   a) Excitement about an event
   b) Lack of interest or concern
   c) Strong feelings towards something
4. To be extinct means:
   a) To be endangered
   b) To no longer exist
   c) To be difficult to find
5. To get fired is the same as:
   a) To get promoted
   b) To be hired for a job
   c) To lose your job

Part 2: Fill in the Blank

Complete each sentence with the correct word or phrase from the list.

1. When I was looking at the sign, it didn’t make sense, and then suddenly _______. (Hint: realization)
2. I have so much ______ from university, I’ll be paying it off for years! (Hint: financial obligation)
3. The company released a ______ of their new product for customers to test. (Hint: early version)
4. When the ship sank, they were left ______ for days. (Hint: stranded at sea)
5. She said it’s not true that she stole the money—she claims she’s been ______. (Hint: falsely accused)

Part 3: Matching

Match the word or phrase on the left with the correct definition on the right.

1. To go hiking
2. A chemical reaction
3. To spot something
4. A rough draft
5. Hard to swallow

a) A physical or emotional response that’s difficult to accept
b) A first or preliminary version of something written
c) A process that occurs when substances interact to form new products
d) To walk in nature, especially in the mountains
e) To notice or recognize something

Part 4: True or False

Write True or False for each statement.

1. To be a know-it-all means someone who shares their knowledge humbly and listens to others.
2. Mainstream refers to ideas, attitudes, or activities that are widely accepted by the majority.
3. Odd numbers include 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10.
4. A law court involves judges, juries, lawyers, and defendants.
5. To like something before it was cool means to follow trends set by others.

Part 5: Short Answer

Answer the following questions.

1. What does it mean to “make something up”?
2. How would you describe the difference between mainstream and alternative?
3. Why might a basketball court and a law court have the same word, “court”?

Vocabulary Quiz Answers

Part 1: Multiple Choice

1. To be desperate for something means:
   b) To urgently need or want something
2. Ignorance refers to:
   a) Lack of knowledge
3. Apathy is:
   b) Lack of interest or concern
4. To be extinct means:
   b) To no longer exist
5. To get fired is the same as:
   c) To lose your job

Part 2: Fill in the Blank

1. When I was looking at the sign, it didn’t make sense, and then it hit me.
2. I have so much debt from university, I’ll be paying it off for years!
3. The company released a rough draft of their new product for customers to test.
4. When the ship sank, they were left lost at sea for days.
5. She said it’s not true that she stole the money—she claims she’s been framed.

Part 3: Matching

1. To go hiking – d) To walk in nature, especially in the mountains
2. A chemical reaction – c) A process that occurs when substances interact to form new products
3. To spot something – e) To notice or recognize something
4. A rough draft – b) A first or preliminary version of something written
5. Hard to swallow – a) A physical or emotional response that’s difficult to accept

Part 4: True or False

1. False – A know-it-all is someone who pretends to know everything and often doesn’t listen to others.
2. True – Mainstream refers to ideas or activities widely accepted by the majority.
3. False – Odd numbers are 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, etc.
4. True – A law court involves judges, juries, lawyers, and defendants.
5. False – To like something before it was cool means you liked it before it became popular or trendy.

Part 5: Short Answer

1. To make something up means to invent a story or fact, often to deceive or entertain.
2. Mainstream refers to ideas or activities accepted by the majority, while alternative suggests something outside of the mainstream, often more niche or unconventional.
3. A basketball court and a law court both involve a structured space where rules are followed, and some form of competition or judgment takes place.

😅 Did you enjoy this episode? 

Want to hear me explain more jokes? 

Check out these other episodes from my episode archive 👇

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• 265. Telling Jokes in English (Part 2) 
• 266. Telling Jokes in English (Part 3) 
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• 840. Things that make you go “Hmmm” Life, Laughter & Learning English
• 882. 47 “Funny” Country Jokes, Explained | Learn English with Humour