Category Archives: Humour

905. 49 Random Jokes, Explained (Dissecting the Frog)

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Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You can learn from it, but the frog dies in the process. Let me tell you 49 jokes (of varying quality). How many do you understand? I will explain all the jokes. How much vocabulary can you learn in the process? Joke list, vocabulary list & vocabulary quiz below.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqbRt54WU_Q&ab_channel=Luke%27sEnglishPodcast

Intro notes, Vocabulary, Links 👇

It’s time to do some more jokes on the podcast!

In this episode I’m going to go through a list of jokes I haven’t read before. 

I’ll read them out to you, you can try to understand the jokes. What’s funny? 

Often it’s about vocabulary double meanings or maybe little cultural references. 

Then I’ll explain them all one by one so you can fully understand anything you might have missed, including any important vocabulary.

So I’ll read the jokes out to you and then I’ll explain them.

Of course, whenever I explain jokes on this podcast I have to read out this quote. It’s not clear who first said it.

So, these jokes might die as I explain them, but at least you should learn some English from all this.

I found all these jokes on BoredPanda.com ← a website I often use to find jokes. 

It’s not clear who wrote these. They’re probably just those unauthored jokes that get shared around by people over the years.

On the website it says these are “jokes for teens”, but I think this just means that there aren’t any particularly rude jokes in here. I think they’re jokes for anyone.

I’ll read out about 10 jokes, and then I’ll go back and explain them.

Then I’ll do another 10, and so on, and we’ll keep going until we can’t take it any more.

150 Jokes For Teens To Spice Up Those Moments Of Boredom | Bored Panda

JOKE LIST 👇

  1. How do you know when you’re desperate for an answer?
    You look at the second page of Google search results.
  2. What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?Guardians of the Galaxy.
  3. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
    I don’t know, and I don’t care.
  4. Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands?
    Because they’re extinct.
  5. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger.
    Then it hit me.
  6. Are you free tomorrow?
    No, I’m expensive. Sorry.
  7. What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
    The walking debt.
  8. Why did God supposedly make men before He made women?
    Because everyone needs a rough draft.
  9. Why was the Maths book sad?
    It had too many problems.
  10. My boss told me yesterday, “You shouldn’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.”
    But when I turned up today in Ghostbusters clothes, he said I was fired.
  11. If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
    Big hands.
  12. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
    Because she’ll let it go!
  13. What should you do when no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
    Keep going until you get a reaction.
  14. What animal is the worst at hiding?
    The leopard — he’s always spotted.
  15. What has four wheels and flies?
    A garbage truck!
  16. What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
    Reali-tea.
  17. I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
  18. Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet?
    If they don’t, they’ll be lost at C.
  19. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
    Finding half a worm in your apple.
  20. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
    It’s okay. He woke up.
  21. What do you call a Minecraft meetup IRL?
    A block party.
  22. Why are spiders such know-it-alls?
    They’re always on the web.
  23. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
    Look for the fresh prints.
  24. A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
  25. Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
    He drank his coffee before it was cool.
  26. What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?
    Feyoncè.
  27. I thought I’d tell you a brilliant time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
  28. Why can’t you trust an atom?
    Because they make up everything.
  29. Can February March?
    No, but April May.
  30. A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A boy responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”
  31. I thought my neighbours were lovely people. Then they went and put a password on their wi-fi.
  32. What kind of music do balloons hate?
    Pop.
  33. What side of a turkey has the most feathers?
    The outside.
  34. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?
    An envelope.
  35. How did the bullet lose its job?
    It got fired.
  36. What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
    Ouch!
  37. Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
    Because they can’t even.
  38. What does a high school basketball player and a jury have in common?
    The Court.
  39. I think my algebra teacher is a pirate.
    All she ever wants to do is find X.
  40. How does the moon cut its hair?
    E-clipse it.
  41. Why did the selfie go to prison?
    It was framed.
  42. Which hand is better to write with?
    Neither. It’s better to write with a pencil!
  43. Were any famous men and women born on your birthday?
    No, only babies.
  44. What do you call high school kids who haven’t been able to go to school because of COVID-19?
    Quaranteens.
  45. What do you call the horse that lives next door?
    Your neigh-bour!
  46. How do you drown a hipster?
    In the mainstream.
  47. How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
    Shocked!
  48. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
    A stick.
  49. Why do bees have sticky hair?
    Because they use honey combs!

Vocabulary List

  • To be desperate for something
    She was desperate for a drink of water after running the marathon.
  • Ignorance
    His ignorance about the current political situation made the conversation difficult.
  • Apathy
    The manager was frustrated by the staff’s apathy towards improving their performance.
  • Clap your hands
    The audience began to clap their hands after the incredible performance.
  • Be extinct
    Dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.
  • It hit me
    As I was walking home, it suddenly hit me that I had forgotten my wallet at the restaurant.
  • To have debt / to be in debt
    After finishing university, he was in debt because of all the student loans.
  • To go hiking
    We decided to go hiking in the mountains this weekend to enjoy the fresh air.
  • A rough draft
    I submitted a rough draft of my essay to the teacher for feedback before finalizing it.
  • To get fired / to get sacked
    He got fired from his job for consistently arriving late.
  • To get a reaction
    The comedian made a joke, hoping to get a reaction from the audience.
  • A chemical reaction
    When you mix baking soda with vinegar, a chemical reaction occurs, producing bubbles.
  • To spot something
    I managed to spot my friend in the crowd at the concert.
  • Hard to swallow
    The news of the company’s sudden closure was hard to swallow for the employees.
  • To collect / gather dust
    That old bicycle in the garage has been collecting dust for years.
  • To be lost at sea
    The sailors were lost at sea after their navigation system broke down.
  • To be a know-it-all
    Nobody likes working with John because he acts like a know-it-all, even when he’s wrong.
  • To form an emotional bond with someone
    Over time, the foster child formed a strong emotional bond with his new family.
  • To like something before it was cool
    He prides himself on liking that band before it was cool.
  • To make something up
    She didn’t know the answer, so she made something up to avoid looking clueless.
  • Odd numbers
    Odd numbers like 3, 5, and 7 are not divisible by 2.
  • Even numbers
    Even numbers like 2, 4, and 6 can be divided by 2 without a remainder.
  • A basketball court
    They played a competitive game on the basketball court near the school.
  • A law court (judge, jury, lawyers, defendant)
    The defendant stood nervously in the law court as the jury delivered the verdict.
  • To be framed
    She was innocent, but her jealous colleague framed her to take the blame.
  • Mainstream vs alternative
    While he prefers alternative music, his brother enjoys more mainstream pop songs.
  • To comb your hair
    After getting out of the shower, she carefully combed her hair to get rid of the tangles.
  • Honeycomb
    The beekeeper harvested the honeycomb from the hive to extract the honey.

Vocabulary Quiz (answers below)

Part 1: Multiple Choice

Select the correct meaning or synonym for each word or phrase.

  1. To be desperate for something means:
    a) To have no interest in something
    b) To urgently need or want something
    c) To be indifferent to something
  2. Ignorance refers to:
    a) Lack of knowledge
    b) A strong dislike
    c) A sudden idea
  3. Apathy is:
    a) Excitement about an event
    b) Lack of interest or concern
    c) Strong feelings towards something
  4. To be extinct means:
    a) To be endangered
    b) To no longer exist
    c) To be difficult to find
  5. To get fired is the same as:
    a) To get promoted
    b) To be hired for a job
    c) To lose your job

Part 2: Fill in the Blank

Complete each sentence with the correct word or phrase from the list.

  1. When I was looking at the sign, it didn’t make sense, and then suddenly _______. (Hint: realization)
  2. I have so much ______ from university, I’ll be paying it off for years! (Hint: financial obligation)
  3. The company released a ______ of their new product for customers to test. (Hint: early version)
  4. When the ship sank, they were left ______ for days. (Hint: stranded at sea)
  5. She said it’s not true that she stole the money—she claims she’s been ______. (Hint: falsely accused)

Part 3: Matching

Match the word or phrase on the left with the correct definition on the right.

  1. To go hiking
  2. A chemical reaction
  3. To spot something
  4. A rough draft
  5. Hard to swallow

a) A physical or emotional response that’s difficult to accept
b) A first or preliminary version of something written
c) A process that occurs when substances interact to form new products
d) To walk in nature, especially in the mountains
e) To notice or recognize something

Part 4: True or False

Write True or False for each statement.

  1. To be a know-it-all means someone who shares their knowledge humbly and listens to others.
  2. Mainstream refers to ideas, attitudes, or activities that are widely accepted by the majority.
  3. Odd numbers include 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10.
  4. A law court involves judges, juries, lawyers, and defendants.
  5. To like something before it was cool means to follow trends set by others.

Part 5: Short Answer

Answer the following questions.

  1. What does it mean to “make something up”?
  2. How would you describe the difference between mainstream and alternative?
  3. Why might a basketball court and a law court have the same word, “court”?

Vocabulary Quiz Answers

Part 1: Multiple Choice

  1. To be desperate for something means:
    b) To urgently need or want something
  2. Ignorance refers to:
    a) Lack of knowledge
  3. Apathy is:
    b) Lack of interest or concern
  4. To be extinct means:
    b) To no longer exist
  5. To get fired is the same as:
    c) To lose your job

Part 2: Fill in the Blank

  1. When I was looking at the sign, it didn’t make sense, and then it hit me.
  2. I have so much debt from university, I’ll be paying it off for years!
  3. The company released a rough draft of their new product for customers to test.
  4. When the ship sank, they were left lost at sea for days.
  5. She said it’s not true that she stole the money—she claims she’s been framed.

Part 3: Matching

  1. To go hiking – d) To walk in nature, especially in the mountains
  2. A chemical reaction – c) A process that occurs when substances interact to form new products
  3. To spot something – e) To notice or recognize something
  4. A rough draft – b) A first or preliminary version of something written
  5. Hard to swallow – a) A physical or emotional response that’s difficult to accept

Part 4: True or False

  1. False – A know-it-all is someone who pretends to know everything and often doesn’t listen to others.
  2. True – Mainstream refers to ideas or activities widely accepted by the majority.
  3. False – Odd numbers are 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, etc.
  4. True – A law court involves judges, juries, lawyers, and defendants.
  5. False – To like something before it was cool means you liked it before it became popular or trendy.

Part 5: Short Answer

  1. To make something up means to invent a story or fact, often to deceive or entertain.
  2. Mainstream refers to ideas or activities accepted by the majority, while alternative suggests something outside of the mainstream, often more niche or unconventional.
  3. A basketball court and a law court both involve a structured space where rules are followed, and some form of competition or judgment takes place.

😅 Did you enjoy this episode? 

Want to hear me explain more jokes? 

Check out these other episodes from my episode archive 👇

900. Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results (with Amber & Paul)

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It’s a catchy title! Episode 900 is here, and what better way to celebrate than by inviting my pals Amber & Paul back onto the podcast? Amber & Paul have been regular guests on this podcast for 10 years. We usually have light-hearted and tangential conversations and these episodes are often very popular with long-term listeners. This time we talk about Episode 900 celebrations 🎉 the title of this episode 🔁 Paris Olympics 2024 🏟️ encounters with dead animals in Paris 😢 Paul’s Olympic marathon run 🏃 the dangers of sneezing 🤧 and more…

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YouTube video version👇

Paul’s Olympic marathon medal 👇

896. A Rambling Chat with Martin Aaron

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Martin Aaron is an old friend of mine from the days when I taught English in London. In this episode we chat about being an English teacher, travelling to different countries, the status of English in other places, how native English speakers (don’t) learn languages, stories of learning French in school, and Martin’s memories of boarding school.

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Listen to Marton’s podcast 👉 https://pod.link/1742336735

894. LEP Live in Paris! Live Podcast Recording (Summer 2024)

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A rambling episode recorded on-stage in front of a live audience in Paris in July 2024. Join my audience and me, as I share scenes from the screenplay for my new Hollywood blockbuster action movie about an English teacher called “Last Lesson”, and the sequel “Last Lesson 2: Fast & Fluent”.

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892. You’re not a LEPster, by any chance, are you? (July 2024 Ramble)

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Join me on another rambling episode as I encourage ninjas to come out of the shadows 🥷, touch on some present perfect continuous verb forms 🔁, give some podcast updates, give a report about the stand-up comedy show 😂 & live podcast recording 🎤, teach some polite and diplomatic language with a dramatic bank robbery scenario 🔫, give a summary of the UK’s general election results 🗳️ & more…

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Episode PDF 👇 with transcript and notes

892.-Youre-not-a-LEPster-by-any-chance-are-you_-July-2024-RambleDownload

Listen to The Footglish Podcast – Learn English with Football ⚽️👇 (s01e28)

Pod links for The Footglish Podcast 👉 https://pod.link/1751816033

On YouTube 👇

885. Still Raining, Still Rambling (News, Comments, Questions, Guitars & Music)

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Hang out with me while the rain pours down outside 🌧️ and in this episode I’ll talk about the problem of “faffing around” 😵‍💫 , podcast news & updates 📲, some stand-up comedy dates 🎤, comments on recent episodes 💬, some common questions from listeners 🙋, a lot of rambling about how I learned to play music 🎵, a tour of all the guitars in my podcast room 🎸 and a song at the end 🎶, with lyrics explained 👨‍🏫.

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📄 Get the PDF for this episode 👇

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883. A Last-minute Rambling Episode

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A spontaneous monologue about being taken by surprise by public holidays in May (in France), a podcast recommendation, and seeing a hard-rocking and hilarious band perform live in a big arena last week. Includes a song at the end as a tribute.

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Want something else to listen to?

Listen to my interview with my friend Martin on his new podcast “Aarballs” 👇

Podcast links for Aarballs 👇 https://pod.link/1742336735

882. 47 “Funny” Country Jokes, Explained | Learn English with Humour

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Here’s a list of jokes about different countries which I found on the website Bored Panda. I’ll tell you the jokes and then explain them all (dissecting the frog), including any homophones, double meanings or specific cultural references. Can you “get” the jokes? Do you find any of them funny, or are they all just terrible dad jokes? And, what vocabulary can you learn in the process? Includes a vocabulary review at the end of the episode.

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https://youtu.be/5RfpkxoCmwg?si=AELKZPOF8e8-4_JI

Notes

In this episode we’re going to read some jokes about different countries in the world, and I’m going to use them to help you learn English.

They’re not really jokes about countries. They’re mainly just jokes based on the country names. So I won’t be making fun of specific countries or anything.

I’ve found a list of 100 jokes.

Jokes like these…

👍

#12

Which country’s capital city is growing the fastest?

Ireland. 

Because every day it’s Dublin.

doubling??

  • Some of these jokes are very stupid.
  • Some of them are terrible.
  • But some of them are actually pretty funny 😅

This is all just a bit of fun, but also it’s a chance to learn some vocabulary.

Before we continue, I need to make several jokes about my country: The UK

A map of the UK

It’s just there, under that huge rain storm.

More specifically, England

Football

What do you call an English man in the World Cup final?

The referee.

British Food

Well, this is how our biscuits are sold in France  

C’est Anglais, mais c’est bon !

Translation: 

It’s English, but it’s good.

*Actually they’re Scottish

*Actually the company is owned by a Turkish confectionery conglomerate

And I’m sure you could write plenty of jokes about our Royal Family…

But you don’t really need to

Subtext: They’re already quite funny aren’t they?

I don’t mean to be rude about our king, but apparently he has a sense of humour, so I’m sure he doesn’t mind. 

cheers

Can you understand these jokes? 

If you understand a joke you can say 

“I get it”

If you don’t understand why it’s supposed to be funny, you’d say

“I don’t get it”

If you understand it, but you think it isn’t funny, you can just groan. 

🤦

There will be VOCABULARY

I will explain every joke that you hear in this episode, including

  • any double meanings 
  • any homophones (words which sound the same but which are different) 
  • or any other little cultural details  

I have only had 

a very quick look 

at this list of jokes. 

I found this joke list on the website BoredPanda.com. There are 100 jokes in the list, but I’ve only seen about the first 15 jokes.

I haven’t seen the rest.  

So I am going to be reading most of these for the first time, so let’s discover these jokes together. 

Disclaimer: 

This might not be funny 

at all 😐

It’s necessary to say this again…

I will dissect these jokes. You might learn some English, 

but the jokes will probably die in the process. 

Sorry jokes, and sorry frogs. 

🐸

But don’t worry. No actual frogs will be harmed during the making of this episode.

And when I say “frogs” I’m not talking about French people 🇫🇷

“Dissecting the frog” or explaining jokes is something I’ve been doing on this podcast for years. 

by a listener called Evgenia

a T-shirt design by a listener called Adel (available in my merch store 

– the t-shirt I mean) 

www.teacherluke.co.uk/merch 

Click here to see this design in my merch store.

Let’s keep reading jokes until nobody can take it any more.

I’ll tell about 5 jokes, then I’ll explain them, and then I’ll continue with more jokes…

Click here for the joke list👇👇👇👇👇

100 Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust | Bored Panda

The Jokes (it’s a mixed bag)

  1. England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
  2. A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
    These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
  3. A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies, “I didn’t think you needed one to get into Australia anymore.”
  4. One day Canada will rule the world…
    Then you’ll all be sorry.
  5. What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
    I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
  6. Why do the French eat snails?
    They don’t like fast food.
  7. Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France. Just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
  8. I asked my friend in North Korea how he was.
    He said he can’t complain.
  9. Germany and France go to war. Who loses?
    Belgium.
  10. What do you call a vegan Viking?
    A Norvegan!
  11. How do you get a Canadian to apologize?
    Step on their foot.
  12. Which country’s capital is growing the fastest?
    Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
  13. What does the Loch Ness monster eat?
    Fish and ships.
  14. Want to hear a Swedish joke?
    Never mind. There’s Norway I could Finnish it.
  15. What do frogs eat in Paris?
    French flies.
  16. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman enter a bar.
    The Englishmen wanted to go, so they all had to leave.
  17. What do you call a bee that lives in America?
    A USB.
  18. Why haven’t Americans changed their weighing method from pounds to kilograms?
    Because they don’t want mass confusion!
  19. How does every Russian joke start?
    By looking over your shoulder.
  20. I have a Russian friend who’s a sound technician.
    And a Czech one too. A Czech one too.
  21. What kind of birds can you find in Portugal?
    Portugeese.
  22. What was the most popular kids’ movie in Ancient Greece?
    Troy Story.
  23. What is the most common scam in Egypt?
    Pyramid schemes.
  24. What happened to the American who went to the hospital with a broken leg?
    He went broke.
  25. In which country is Prague located?
    Hold on let me Czech.
  26. Is “Africa” by Toto a country song?
    No, it’s a continent song.
  27. What did the Kiwi say to the Rabbi?
    Hee Broo.
  28. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
    He pasta way.
  29. Germany once organized the International Fun Conference.
    It wasn’t funny but it was indeed well organized.
  30. Two very old men of European nationality meet
    While talking, one asks: “You watching the football game?”
    The other says: “Who’s playing?”
    “Austria-Hungary”, says the first.
    “Against whom?”
  31. An introverted Finn looks at his shoes when talking to you; an extroverted Finn looks at your shoes.
  32. Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
    To get away from the noise.
  33. Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them?
    So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!
  34. How was copper wire invented?
    Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.
  35. What are Greek houses made out of?
    Greeks and con-Crete!
  36. Why is it hard to make friends in Antarctica?
    Because you can’t break the ice.
  37. What pan is the best to make sushi in?
    Japan.
  38. What will an Australian chess player say to a Czech person while making the winning move?
    Czech mate.
  39. A friend in Germany tells me everyone’s panic buying sausages and cheese.
    It’s the Wurst Käse scenario.
  40. What do you call a bunch of bullies from Malta?
    Maltesers.
  41. Ever since my girlfriend moved to Siberia things haven’t been the same.
    She’s so cold and distant.
  42. The Sahara Desert drifts into a bar and the bartender says…
    “Long time no sea.”
  43. Did you hear about the Pole who thought his wife was trying to kill him? On her dressing table, he found a bottle of “Polish Remover.”
  44. I’ve heard that Argentina is starting to get a little colder…
    In fact, it’s bordering on Chile.
  45. What’s Santa’s nationality?
    North Polish.
  46. What genre are national anthems?
    Country.
  47. Did you hear McDonalds will stop serving fries in Switzerland?
    The Swiss don’t take sides.

Vocabulary List (listen to the episode for my explanations)

  1. A kidney bank
  2. Liver
  3. A criminal record
  4. A (big) plus
  5. Snails
  6. I can’t complain
  7. To double in size
  8. The Loch Ness monster
  9. Bees, flies
  10. Mass confusion
  11. “Check one two, check one two”
  12. One goose, two geese
  13. A scam
  14. A pyramid scheme
  15. To go broke
  16. To pass away
  17. Barcodes
  18. A pan
  19. A worst-case scenario
  20. To bully/tease someone
  21. To be cold and distant
  22. Nail polish remover
  23. It’s bordering on chilly
  24. A side of french fries

876. Thoughts & comments on recent episodes / A Spring Equinox Ramble 2024

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Listen to me rambling about Daylight Saving Time, weird AI generated images for Luke’s English Podcast, and lots of comments and responses to recent episodes including the Birthday Party story 🎂 , the MBTI Personality Test 🙇 and the Walk & Talk in Paris 📹🚶.

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🔖 The Advanced English Summit – book your place for Luke’s Zoom talk (free) 👇

https://english-at-home.com/summit/

📄 Get the PDF 👇

876. Thoughts & comments on recent episodes _ A Spring Equinox RambleDownload

Those Strange AI-generated Images 👇

866. The Lying Game #9 with Amber & Paul (with Vocabulary Explanations)

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The return of the lying game on LEP! Amber, Paul and I play a speaking game which I sometimes use in my English classes. Listen to our stories and try to work out if we are lying or telling the truth. The second half of the episode contains story summaries and vocabulary explanations. 

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Notes / Transcript

Introduction

This episode is called The Lying Game #9 with Amber & Paul

To help you understand, enjoy and learn more from this episode, I’m going to explain a coupe of things here at the start. 

Some of you might not need this introduction – it depends on your level of English – you can just skip forwards if you want, it’s only a few minutes. But my comments here are designed to be helpful.

This is another conversation with my friends Amber and Paul and we’re going to play a speaking activity called The Lying Game. I know a lot of you are already familiar with this game, but for the uninitiated – this game is something of a tradition on this podcast. It is based on a speaking activity which I’ve been using in my English classes for about 15 years. You’ll hear us recap the rules of the game in a moment, but it’s very simple. Basically, just listen carefully and try to decide if our stories are true or lies.

As you listen, I expect that you might have some questions which you would like answered. Some of those will be language questions about certain words, phrases, bits of pronunciation or grammar. For example, “What does it mean to “fall off the wagon?”, “What’s the difference between fat, fatty and fattening? “ and “is the funnest thing” correct English?”. 

Other questions will be about the specific details that you might not catch when listening to our stories – What exactly happened in each case? Wait, was that story a lie or the truth? Which parts were not true, etc? What just happened? What are they going on about? 

It can be tricky to listen to three fluent speakers of English (especially close friends) talking quickly together. I know what it’s like because it happens to me in French all the time. There are unfinished sentences, you get connected speech, people talk over each other a bit and interrupt each other. 

That does make it tricky to follow, but what I will say is that this is normal, natural, fluent speech and it is important for you to get familiar with it. The more you practise listening to this kind of thing, the more you will be able to follow conversations like this. 

But yes, you might have questions as you listen. 

So, at the end of this episode, in the last 20 minutes or so, I will help you, by summarising each story and telling you in plain English what happened in each part of the game. 

I will also explain quite a lot of vocabulary which comes up – phrases, idioms, specific words etc, like “to fall off the wagon” “to be fattening” and so on. 

So, listen to us playing the game, try to work out if we are lying or telling the truth, and I’ll clarify vocabulary at the end and that vocabulary section at the end will be a little taste of the kind of thing that I do in my premium episodes, where I focus on explaining language. 

And finally, premium subscribers – have you noticed, I have published parts 1-5 of P56 (which will be an 8 part series in total when it’s all done) This series is all about vocabulary which I used in episode 863 recently, called “You and Your English in 2024” – Remember all the words that I highlighted in that lurid green colour? 

That’s the vocabulary I’m clarifying, explaining, teaching and helping you to remember and use in Premium series 56, available now for premium subscribers. There are vocabulary reviews, pronunciation episodes, PDF worksheets, video versions, discussion questions for speaking practice, memory exercises and more. 

Just make sure, if you are a subscriber, that you have added LEP premium to a podcast app on your phone. If you have done that you will see episodes 1-5 in your list, with the other parts coming very soon. 

Sign into your acast+ account to manage your subscription and add the episodes to a podcast app on your phone (I recommend PocketCasts) https://plus.acast.com/

If you want to sign up to LEP Premium to get access to those episodes – be my guest, just click the link you will find in the show notes of this episode.

But now, back to The Lying Game. I hope you enjoy it. And Stick around until the end to hear me clarifying and explaining some vocabulary. 

Oh, and by the way, there is some rude language in this episode, as usual – including the use of a few swear words.

Conversation / Lying Game happens

Notes / Script – after the lying game conversation

How was that for you? I got slightly over-excited in this episode and I couldn’t help butting in with my own comments and jokes here and there. Apologies if that made it a bit harder to keep up. I’m always trying to get the balance right between keeping things simple and keeping things entertaining. But I know what it’s like to listen to a busy conversation between people in another language. It can be tiring, it can be tricky but nevertheless, you made it. Of course it depends on your level of English. 

Story Summaries – SPOILER ALERT!

Let me summarise the three stories.

Paul’s Story

Paul said that after his bad show in Portugal, he “fell off the wagon” and got back on the booze. 

He got “shitfaced” and despite having a horrible hangover the next day in which he was sick over and over again (lovely, I know) he then continued drinking regularly again.

There was a point of contention here, because…

Amber and I guessed that this was true and Paul said that it was true.

However, there was a point of contention here, because although the first part of that story was true – he did fall off the wagon after that show in Portugal, in fact the other part – that he then continued drinking again after that, was not true. He quickly went back to not drinking after that one, exceptional, evening. So, was this story true or a lie? To be completely honest, according to my rules (if one detail is a lie, the whole story is a lie) this story was a lie, and therefore Amber and I didn’t deserve to get a point. 

But, that’s in the past now and in that moment the referee (that’s me, even though I am also playing the game – conflict of interest? Noooo) the referee said that Amber & I were right, so we got the points and then just moved on because we simply didn’t have time to sit around debating it any more. End result – Amber and I got one point each. 

Scores:  A 1, P 0, L 1

Luke’s Story

Then it was my turn and I said that I once took a hot air balloon ride with Bill Oddie (a tv presenter in the UK) and R2D2’s daughter (the daughter of actor Kenny Baker). 

Kenny was there but didn’t actually go up in the balloon because he said that “R2D2 doesn’t fly”. In my story I said that upon hearing this, my brother and I were both a bit confused because R2D2 definitely flies in the Star Wars films, a lot – in all manner of spacecraft. But anyway, that was the story. 

Amber and Paul both assumed that this story was completely true, and this is for a few reasons. 1) I almost always tell the truth in this game. 2) the story was way too specific and weird to be made up (they underestimated me) and 3) They just didn’t press me with more questions. If they’d been more inquisitive I’m sure they would have discovered that my story had no substance to it. In any case, Amber and Paul were both fooled and guessed it was true, but ah no, I made it up completely. 

To be fair it is based on a true story. Once upon a time, my dad did produce a TV series for BBC Midlands called The Balloon in which a presenter visited different parts of the midlands in a hot air balloon (sounds like something from Alan Partridge), but it was presented by Sue Beardsmore and neither Bill Oddie nor R2D2 actor Kenny Baker (or his daughter) were involved in any way. 

James and I were allowed to take a trip in the balloon one day at the end of the filming and it is one of the most memorable experiences of my life. It would have been even more memorable if R2D2 had been involved, but no. I got two points for this because both A & P fell for it completely.

Scores: A 1, P 0, L 3

Amber’s Story

Amber said she had developed a phobia of cows – “bovinophobia”. This was a result of several experiences she had with her family on holiday where they encountered cows in fields (including one time in Argentina) and Amber felt very scared, and since then she has realised that she actually can’t stand cows at all, and can’t even look at some paintings of cows which she saw during her recent art history course, finding their bovine faces strangely repellant. She hasn’t been officially diagnosed as suffering from bovinophobia, but she believes she has it.

But was this true?

Paul thought no, I said yes.

In fact, it was not true. Although Amber is definitely wary of cows, she doesn’t have a phobia of them. Remember, a phobia is the irrational fear of something. Being very scared of something when there’s really no reason to be scared of it. But Amber’s fear of cows is completely reasonable and logical considering they do actually kill quite a lot of people each year by trampling them to death. But she is not scared of pictures of cows, so her fear is not irrational or extreme (which is how a phobia is defined).

Final scores! A2, P1, L3

Vocabulary List

A little taste of LEP Premium here – just a tiny taste because I am not going to go into a lot of detail here and you don’t get all the other peripheral things like extra examples, memory exercises, pronunciation exercises, speaking questions etc.

Listen to the episode to hear my explanations.

  • You treated us to lunch
  • It’s one of the funnest things to do
  • Is this true or is it made up bullcrap?
  • It was a rough show
  • I relapsed from alcohol
  • I got completely shitfaced
  • So you fell off the wagon
  • He still looks quite svelte. You do look in good shape.
  • I needed to stop. I needed to get fit.
  • Alcohol is very fattening.
  • I vomited. I threw up. [I was sick. I puked.]
  • You gave up drinking. You quit booze.
  • He’s back on the booze now. It’s a slippery slope.
  • A year of sobriety. Adam was not the most supportive of your sobriety. [to be sober]
  • Hair of the dog.
  • You never lie and [your story] is too obscure. (too obscure to be made up – she doubts my imagination)
  • He’s very old. He’s got a plethora of stories.
  • Oh ye of little faith, you didn’t think I had it in me to lie.
  • We should have known [that he was lying] but honestly he’s got such a track record [so we expected him to be consistent and to tell the truth again].
  • People get trampled by them (cows).
  • You’re repelled by the image of a cow.
  • Their fleshy bovine bodies shifting left to right as they try to position themselves against the fence to have a look at you.
  • I started getting anxious, scared, nervous. (these words are similar. Nervous does not mean angry). 
  • Farmers put their hand all the way inside the rear end of a cow.
  • Horses are renowned for kicking you when you’re behind them.
  • You can get a hoof in the head. hooves
    (Actually, I’m not sure someone said these exact words, but I think the word “hoof” did come up)
  • Cows are all squished up close to each other.
  • How do you feel when you get on line 9 at 9AM in the morning, and there are a lot of people mooing around.
  • I don’t have animosity towards cows. [You just don’t want to get trampled]
  • You have a rational fear of cows rather than an irrational fear.
  • Flimsy naked monkies
  • A monkey with alopecia – [it was] ripped! They are just all muscle.
  • A monkey jumped out and I thought “that monkey can have me any day”
  • It was just like a bloke, a massive bloke.

The Zenith show (January 6) already happened so you can’t get tickets for it any more. I talked about it in LEP#864.

Thanks to James Kuo (LEPster) for making these two episodes happen. 

OK, that’s enough from me I think! I will be back in your eardrums in the next episode. 

I have a few more episodes with guests which I recorded late last year to publish and then I am planning to do more solo podcasts for a while, including more stories, which I have been enjoying a lot. Acting and storytelling – lots of fun.

OK, don’t be a ninja – leave a comment. I hope you’re not a skeleton. 

Have a great morning, afternoon, evening or night and I will speak to you next time but for now, goodbye!!!

Listen to 8 previous lying game episodes 👇👇👇

308. The Lying Game (Part 1) with Amber & Paul | Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast Scores: A 2 / P 2 / L 2 (“even stevens”)

309. The Lying Game (Part 2) with Amber & Paul | Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast Scores: A 0 / P 1 / L 4

317. The Lying Game 2: The Rematch (Part 1) with Amber & Paul | Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast Scores: A 1 / P 2 / L 1

318. The Lying Game 2: The Rematch (Part 2) with Amber & Paul | Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast   Scores: A 6 / P 3 / L 3

343. The Interactive Lying Game (with Amber & Paul) / Descriptive Adjectives with T / Three is a Magic Number | Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast Scores ?

436. The Return of The Lying Game (with Amber & Paul) [Video] | Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast  Scores: A 1 / P 3 / L 2

642. The Lying Game Returns (with Amber & Paul) | Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast Scores : 2 / 2 / 2

663. The Lockdown Lying Game with Amber & Paul | Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast Scores A 2 / P 3 / L 1

Total scores after Lying Game #9: A 14  / P 16  / L 15