Category Archives: Vocabulary

655. Coping with Isolation / Describing Feelings and Emotions – Vocabulary & Experiences

A vocabulary episode with lots of phrases for describing the experience of living in self-isolation. It also includes a bit of a ramble about the situation in the UK, my personal experiences of living in Paris during the lockdown and a song at the end. Vocabulary list & notes available.

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Transcript & Notes

Introduction

Hi everyone, here’s a new episode to keep you company and to help you learn some English that you can use to describe the experience of living in self-isolation. We’ll be looking especially at vocabulary to describe the feelings and emotions that you might be going through during this experience.

Something like 2.5 billion people in the world are in self-isolation at the moment, including me, my wife and our daughter and no doubt many of you too. Not the band.

Some of you out there won’t be in isolation, confined at home or on lockdown, for whatever reason. It depends on the approach that your country is taking to this pandemic.

Maybe you are making personal choices to stay at home even if your government hasn’t imposed it. In the UK for example, the government has only recently imposed it, a week or two late in some people’s opinions. I’m trying not to talk about politics here though, just how it feels to be stuck inside, and as I said – this is mainly a vocabulary episode so I will be talking about expressions like “on lockdown”, “in isolation”, “confinement” and also loads of other things.

In France we are on lockdown and we’re only about a week and a half into it. I’m not sure how long it will go on for. Some people say a couple of weeks, some say it will continue into May, others suggest longer.

If you aren’t sure, being “on lockdown” means being ordered by the government to stay at home for an extended period of time, without a lot of human contact in an attempt to prevent the spread of this virus.

Plenty of countries in the world are on lockdown.

So you might be starved of human contact at this time, or perhaps the opposite. You might be having a bit too much human contact if you are locked up with members of your family, boyfriends, girlfriends, children, flatmates and so on and you’re trying your hardest not to become homicidal under the circumstances.

There are various possibilities in terms of what you might be going through at the moment.

Maybe

  • You’re just lonely because you’re not used to spending so much time on your own.
  • You’re frustrated because you can’t stand not being able to do what you want to do (i.e. go out and live normally).
  • You can’t stand being confined with other people, who you are trying your best to get on with. You might be craving a bit of solitude at this time, just to get away from your family or something.
  • You are worrying about work.
  • You are worrying about family and friends who might get the virus, especially those who are in the “at-risk” category (e.g. those with underlying or existing health issues, or elderly people).

Or maybe

  • You’re strangely enjoying this time.
  • You are really enjoying having more time to yourself.
  • You’re managing to do things.
  • It feels a bit like a stay-at-home holiday, or a “staycation”.
  • You don’t mind self-isolation. In fact it’s kind of normal for you.

I’m slightly concerned about talking about this, because I am very aware that for some of you out there this is a really hard time and I don’t want to be frivolous about it.

I know that a lot of you are not having a sort of “staycation” (a holiday at home / a vacation in which you stay at home). I mean, this is not a holiday for many of you, but a very difficult and worrying time.

But having said that, I am now going to talk about this a bit.

Here’s the general plan.

In this episode

  1. Teach you some vocabulary to describe isolation, lockdown and the things that might be going through your mind as you experience this – particularly feelings and emotions.
  2. Comment on some recent news about this situation, focusing on the UK mainly again
  3. A couple of corrections from the previous episodes in which I talked about this (651 and 652)
  4. Ramble a little bit about what I’ve been doing these past couple of weeks

1. Vocabulary

I’m not talking about symptoms and health issues. I’ve already done that in episodes 651 and 652.

Basics – Some trending words & phrases

First some basics to describe this situation – words which are trending

Self-isolation
To be in self-isolation – “I can’t stand being in self-isolation. It’s doing my head in.”
To self isolate – “Boris Jonson has tested positive for COVID-19 and is now self-isolating at home” (more on this later)
To isolate yourself (from) – “Those people who are displaying symptoms have been told to stay at home and isolate themselves from other family members.”

Lockdown
To be on lockdown – “We are on lockdown. We’ve been on lockdown for a few weeks in Paris.”
To be locked down – “Paris is almost completely locked down. You’re only allowed to go out for certain things. You might be stopped by the police and you could face a large fine if you don’t have a written justification for being outside.”
The lockdown – “The lockdown is going to last indefinitely”

Confinement
To be in confinement – “We’ve been in confinement for nearly 2 weeks now”
To be confined at home – “Billions of people around the world are currently confined at home, listening to Luke’s English Podcast and washing their hands.”

Quarantine
To be quarantined (keeping a possibly infected person or animal separate from others) “Lots of people have been quarantined at the airport.”
To be in quarantine – “They’re currently in quarantine until further notice”
To quarantine someone – “If you arrive at immigration, you will be immediately quarantined in an effort to contain the spread of the virus in the country”

Containment
To contain the virus – “Visitors to the city have been quarantined in an effort to contain the spread of the virus”
The containment of the virus – “We’re confident that the lockdown will result in the containment of the virus.”

Vocabulary to describe this experience – Feelings & Emotions

Words and phrases you might need to talk about what you’re going through (mainly for those of you who are just stuck at home, not the symptoms of the disease)

Bad things

Bad mood / Relationships
Bored / boredom
I’m just so bored of being stuck indoors
I’m so sick of this boredom
To be at a loose end – “I’m just knocking around the house at a loose end” = bored and with nothing to do
Frustrating
It’s frustrating not being able to do what you want to do
To be/get frustrated
I’m starting to get frustrated. I need to go outside and get exercise.
Depression – “It’s normal to suffer from a bit of depression in conditions like this.”
To get depressed – “Try not to get depressed”
To feel down – “I must admit I’ve been feeling a bit down today.”
It’s getting to me – “It’s getting to me, being locked up. It’s started to get to me.”
It’s starting to get to me
To be locked up (with) someone – “I’m not sure I can face being locked up with my family for another 6 weeks!”
To irritate someone / To annoy someone / To get on someone’s nerves
To be irritating / to be annoying
“Could you use headphones while you’re gaming? It’s just really starting to irritate me.”
“The neighbours have their TV on really loud. It’s so annoying!”
“The sound of them talking is really starting to get on my nerves now”
To be at each other’s throats – “They were at each other’s throats after just 3 days!”
Familiarity breeds contempt
To have enough of someone/something – “I’ve had enough of this. I’m going out.”
To be fed up with someone/something – “I’m just so fed up with being stuck indoors all day”
To miss people – “I’m missing my friends”
To be / To feel cut off (from) someone – “It’s quite hard feeling cut off from my normal circle of friends”

Mental issues / Struggling to deal with the situation
I’m struggling to cope = I am finding it difficult to deal with this situation, i.e. I am mentally struggling. I’m feeling upset, emotional, depressed, unable to do anything.
This is like Groundhog Day = A film in which Bill Murray repeats the same day again and again
How am I going to get through this? – to get through something means to progress from start to finish. To be able to move from the start of the experience to the end of the experience without stopping or failing. To get through a tunnel. To get through an experience.
To be overwhelmed by fears / doubts / worries – “Try not to let yourself get overwhelmed by fears / doubts / worries” (e.g. about the knock-on effects on the economy, or even more paranoid thoughts about what’s really going on)
To get carried away / To let your mind get carried away – “You’re getting carried away. I don’t think things are that bad.”
Try not to think too much – “Look, don’t think too much. Try not to think too much. Just take it one day at a time.”
To feel paranoid – “I started feeling a bit paranoid the other day when I was outside.”
To feel anxious – “It’s easy to feel anxious in this situation”
Nervous vs stressed vs annoyed vs angry
Try not to worry
Don’t panic!
Don’t freak out
Panic buying – “You see footage on the news of people panic buying toilet roll and pasta. Apparently these are the two most essential things for us. Eating pasta and then wiping our arses when we poo it out.” [?]

Going mad
To climb the walls – “My teenage kids are climbing the walls, almost literally”
To lose it – “Any more time spent in this room and I’m just going to lose it.”
He’s lost it – “Uh oh, Luke’s lost it.”
To lose your mind – “I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind.”

Locked in
To go stir crazy – “I’m going a bit stir crazy to be honest” = feeling upset, angry, emotional, mad, mentally unwell because you are locked in somewhere, like if you were in prison. (in the 19th century “stir” was a nickname for prison, or specifically Newgate Prison in London, but now it refers to any situation in which you are cooped up)
I’m getting cabin fever
To be cooped up = to be locked inside, like you’re a chicken in a chicken coop. “I can’t stand being cooped up all day”.
Feeling claustrophobic
Feeling trapped
To be stuck indoors
Stuck (past of stick)
To be stuck somewhere – “I’m stuck at home” “They’re stuck in Morocco” “He got stuck in his car for hours” “I was stuck to the TV watching the news for 9 hours.”
To be stuck indoors – “I’m stuck indoors and it sucks.”

Others
My hands are chapped – “Have you got any moisturiser? My hands are so chapped from constantly washing them.”

On the front line – to be on the front line means to be doing the hardest and most important work. It was originally used to talk about soldiers in a war, specifically those people who are on the front line of the conflict, facing the enemy and fighting with them directly. This is the first meaning, but these days it is used to refer to the people who are doing the hardest and most important work in any situation.

In the past, working in a language school I have heard people talking about the teachers being the ones who are on the front line, meaning they are the ones who face the clients in the form of students in class, so if the students are unhappy for whatever reason, it’s the teachers who have to deal with that directly, rather than the marketing people, the management, the agents etc.

At the moment this phrase is being used a lot for those people who are working in hospitals, so health workers, doctors, nurses, paramedics and so on. In fact these are the real heroes of the moment.

Any of the negative things I’m mentioning in this episode, including all the boredom, the friction with those you live with, the fears about work, the frustrations and isolation – none of it compares to the struggles, risks and sheer exhaustion of those working on the front line of this situation.

Every evening here in Paris at 8pm people open their windows or go out onto their balconies in order to applaud together as a public display of gratitude for all the health workers who are working on the front line. It’s started happening across the UK as well, and I’m sure it’s the same in many other countries.

And I’d like to echo that. Thank you, if you are a health worker or if you’re involved directly in the fight against this fucking virus. Thank you. (applause)

Oh and by the way, we will beat this. It’s not the end of the world.

Positives
This could be a chance for you to do things
Every cloud has a silver lining
Spending a lot more time together
Quality time
To spend quality time with someone
To reconnect with your family
Reconnecting with family
To catch up on things
Finally catch up on things you’ve been meaning to do for a while

My friend Vanessa on FB shared this

“Day 9 of lockdown
My inner Emily Dickinson is loving this (Emily Dickinson was an American poet who was very withdrawn, introverted and reclusive)
I’ve never felt less pressure to go out or accomplish anything.
I’m loving the mandated family time.
My around-the-world loved ones actually have time to write back to me, quickly!
The air quality is the best it’s been in 40 years.
There have been no traffic jams, nor annoying honking out my window.
The sun shines against a beautiful blue sky.
I’m thankful the tragedy of losing someone to covid has not yet become a reality for me.
What are you lockdown silver linings?
Tell me ⬇️”

Not having to wear a bra to go to work. Lol.

Taking care of your mental health
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/coronavirus-and-your-wellbeing/
Try to stay optimistic
Focus on the positives
If you’re with other people, just accept that there will be friction.
Work on being generous if you can.
Keep to a routine
Keep active
Get as much sunshine and fresh air as possible
Keep your mind stimulated
Focus on a hobby
Meditate
Do yoga
Play music
Read and write
Write a diary. Pour out your thoughts into the diary. It can be very rewarding.
Cross things off your to-do list
To binge watch TV series

507. Learning English with UK Comedy TV Shows

To binge listen to podcasts / audiobooks
To binge on something
To spend time doing something
To daydream
To let your mind wander

The next episode of Gill’s Book Club:

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles

Coming in a couple of months I expect

2. Some of the recent news in the UK at the time of recording this

Since I spoke to my Dad in episode 652 and we talked about how the UK government had been pursuing a plan of herd immunity, which basically means → don’t make people stay at home, don’t close restaurants, pubs, gyms and other places (don’t put the country on lockdown) just let everyone get the virus, let every become immune and so what if some people die, at least the economy will be ok.

*I’d like to add a point here after having listened to the recent episode of the Adam Buxton Podcast with Dr Xand Van Tulleken in which they talk about lots of things relating to the situation (I highly recommend it) and I just wanted to add that actually it’s really hard to calculate the human cost of either the coronavirus or the effects of the containment measures. Which will kill more people or cause more suffering? The virus itself or the knock-on effects of all these containment measures and the impact they will have on the economy and also on people’s lives? It’s hard to balance the two things…

Anyway, let’s carry on*

Since then, the government has changed its position and has put the country on lockdown but it was only imposed at the start of this week. Probably a bit late.

I’ll have to talk to my Dad again about this to go into more detail about what’s going on in the UK, although I don’t want to overload you all with coronavirus content.

Also there’s the fact that Prince Charles has tested positive for the coronavirus and today so has Boris Johnson, and you might want to know what I think about those things.

Prince Charles has tested positive for the coronavirus. This doesn’t mean he likes it, it means he’s got it. What do I think? Well, I wish him well of course, like anyone who’s got this. He is in the at-risk category being 71, but apparently his symptoms are fairly mild. I expect he’s got excellent medical care so he’ll probably be alright.

I reckon most people when hearing the news just thought “But what about the Queen, is the Queen OK?” because if the Queen got it that would be very bad news. She’s got good medical care too of course, but still, she’s 93. We know that when The Queen dies it will be so significant that the country will definitely change. It’ll signify the end of an era, there will be national mourning on an unprecedented scale, not necessarily because everyone loves her, but just because she is such a significant figure and one of the only symbols of national unity that we have left. I say national unity, I suppose I mean continuity in the sense that she has been a constant thing for decades, while so many other things have changed and I think the whole of the UK gets some sense of security from that sense of continuity. It’s a complex situation and of course there are various opinions on the monarchy, including many who think that it’s an outdated institution and represents inequality and privilege in society, but still, it’ll be a hugely significant moment when she does die, and the country will grind to a halt (again) for days, with public holidays and various other things happening. So, if she died during this coronavirus lockdown that would be devastating.

And if she got it, died and everyone thought that Charles had given it to her, they’d chop his head off! Obviously they wouldn’t, I’m joking, but let’s just say that the knives would be out (an expression) and it would be extremely bad for his popularity which is already quite shaky. Anyway, this isn’t about the monarchy!

Boris Johnson has tested positive for it too. Apparently he has mild symptoms and is staying at home, working from home. Ironically so does the health secretary Matt Hancock. To be honest, it’s no surprise because until about a week ago the government’s position on this whole thing was to just let everyone get infected, let the population develop herd immunity it’s no big deal really, and if loads of elderly people die and the NHS collapses under the pressure then never mind we’ll just keep calm and carry on.

In fact Boris was bragging only recently during a press-conference about how he had met loads of coronavirus sufferers in hospitals and how he’d shaken their hands and he was shaking everyone’s hands. I expect he is eating his words now. What’s perhaps more serious and shocking is how irresponsible he’s been. Sure, he’s got it now which a) doesn’t help him or the country, or his pregnant girlfriend but also b) he’s possibly spread the virus to loads of other people, potentially thousands (due to the way the virus spreads exponentially) → so congratulations Boris, you have directly helped to make the situation much much worse than it could have been.

Here he is, talking about it in that press conference.

twitter.com/ptcomedy/status/1243507221482344453

3. Corrections from episodes 651 and 652

I said that flu was a form of coronavirus. Apparently that’s not true. Coronavirus and flu are totally different, and while flu is a killer, Coronavirus is potentially a much bigger killer, because of the way it spreads.

And for those people out there saying “Flu kills more people per year than Coronavirus, what’s all the fuss about?” here’s a clip of stand up comedian Nico Yearwood talking about it on stage before the lockdown when the comedy clubs were still open.

I accidentally said that we should be washing our hands for 20 minutes. Obviously that was just a slip and I meant to say 20 seconds. (We corrected that in the RT report)

I also said that masks don’t stop you from getting the virus. I realise now that I had almost no actual evidence to back that up. It turns out there are several types of mask and some are more effective at protecting you from this than others.

Disposable face masks vs N95 respirator masks

CNET.com
Disposable face masks block large particles from entering your mouth (which I suppose means that small droplets containing the virus might still be able to get in, and anyway you can probably still get infected through the eyes and ears too, potentially – but maybe these disposable masks can help prevent you spreading it around),

So that’s the disposable face masks. Then the more tight-fitting N95 respirator masks are far more effective at shielding you from airborne illnesses. Those are the ones with the filters fitted in the front.

Both of these masks could potentially help protect you from getting a viral infection, but US government officials have emphasized that the American public should not purchase face masks to prevent themselves from getting infected. Instead, only people who are displaying symptoms of coronavirus should wear masks to prevent the spread of the disease to others.

Apparently the N95 masks are much harder to find than the standard disposable ones.

ADDITIONAL (added after recording – this doesn’t appear in the episode)

I have just been sent this video on Twitter. The message is clear. It’s better to be safe than sorry. Masks help to prevent the spread of the virus. They might not be perfect, but they’re better than nothing. In the Czech Republic they seem to have been very successful in containing the spread of the virus. 

4. Personal experiences of lockdown / self-isolation with a 2-year-old child

Some details about what we’re doing and some of the challenges we’re facing

France has been on full lockdown for nearly 2 weeks now. Almost everything is closed except certain shops selling “essential items” –> note that the wine shops and cheese shops are very much open in our area :)

My daughter isn’t going to creche so we have to look after her all the time. That’s great but also exhausting. I’m not complaining, we knew what we were doing when we created her, so, you know, it’s our fault. Anyway, the thing is, it takes a lot of time and all that, and my wife and I have work to do but it’s not bad, we divide the day and I look after her in the morning and in the afternoon it’s the other way around.

I still teach classes for the British Council but now they are happening on Zoom – the videoconferencing platform. Actually, Zoom are doing pretty well out of this, aren’t they? I had just a few hours to learn how to use the platform but it’s pretty good. It’s not as good as teaching in real life, but it’s not bad. → Talk a bit about teaching on Zoom.

One thing I thought the other day is that this crisis is going to force us to change and will be a driver of change in various ways. Certainly we’re all becoming a lot more familiar with videoconferencing and I think a lot of employers and employees will realise that working from home is really doable and will become more and more normal.

Let me now talk about going outside and staying indoors. Most of our time is spent indoors of course, but we do go outside from time to time.

Going outside
Feeling a bit guilty and also a bit nervous (don’t want to catch the virus, but don’t want to spread it), but going outside is vital for our mental and physical health.
Strict instructions from the government, which we are trying to comply with.
People are getting pretty angry about this on social media.
Only going outside for a bit of exercise, staying max 1km from our home.
Only ever just one of us, or one of us with our daughter.
We just walk around the block, choosing quiet streets, crossing the road to avoid people etc.
It’s like a ghost town
It’s quite eerie
It’s also quite peaceful and wonderful
Paris is a very beautiful city and usually it’s very busy and stressful. Not at the moment. Well, not busy anyway.
The weather has been fantastic, which makes this much easier to deal with.
But it’s also a dirty place, like most inner-city areas.
Rubbish and also general uncleanliness.
I wonder what condition the place will be in after weeks of this. Are the streets usually this dirty or is it just more obvious now?
Rubbish on the floor, dog poo not cleaned up.
I’m teaching my daughter to count and we often count things we see in the street. She now counts the dog poo. There’s nothing I can do about it. At least she knows she should avoid it. (I’m still not sure if there is a taboo about talking about this in Paris, which would be odd. Surely the taboo would be to let your dog do it and then not clean it up.)
Actually, I think Paris is always like that!
Anyway, let’s not dwell on it too long.
Some shops are open – those ones for essential food, supermarkets, boulangeries (bakeries), cheese shops. Yep, I live in Paris!
Queues are more orderly. There are lines on the ground. People know that they have to stay at least 1m away from each other. There’s more politeness actually.
Not touching anything.
Getting our daughter to run while holding my hand.
Jumping onto manhole covers.
Looking into the windows of guitar shops.
Spotting things in the street and counting them.

Staying in
The main challenge for us is: keeping our daughter busy, keeping up her education (even though she’s just two and 3 months), limiting screen time, maintaining our mental health – I mean just trying to stay in a good mood, getting enough physical exercise for all of us but especially the little one, managing to get work done and also keeping in touch with friends and family. I feel like we’re only partly successful in all areas.
Yoga for kids
Reading, reading, reading
Using a pre-school app on the ipad
Worrying about screen time
Playing games for numbers, colours
Listening to music
Limiting screen time
Speaking a lot more English
Showering together
Washing hands and singing happy birthday to celebrities

Overall → things are really not that bad for us at all. We are incredibly lucky.

For some others this might be an impossible time.
Some people have been laid off
Some people who are self-employed are unable to do their work
Some people will be unable to feed their kids because schools are closed (and they rely on those schools to provide a decent meal once a day)
A lot of people will have lost money
Some people will be worried about loved ones who are in vulnerable positions
And of course some people will be sick with the coronavirus and feeling terrible, wondering if they should go to hospital etc.

Song

So Lonely by The Police/Sting

Chords & Lyrics
tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/tab/the-police/so-lonely-chords-364306

What’s your experience?

Leave your comments below and let us know 👍

647. British Comedy: Alan Partridge (Part 6)

The final part in this little series following Alan Partridge through a day in his life, and breaking it down for language. Alan is not for everyone, but I hope you’ve enjoyed this series and learned some English from it.

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Introduction

Hello and welcome back. This is the 6th and final part of this particular episode run about Alan Partridge. I might come back to continue with part 7 and onwards at a later date.

But here is part 6 and in this one we’re going to conclude the storyline that we started in part 4 of this.

So we’re listening to some clips from this award-winning TV comedy from 1997 I think. It’s over 20 years old now but Alan Partridge is still a popular character and he is still on TV these days with new shows coming this year or early next year apparently.

But I’ve chosen this episode from 1997 because it follows on from the stuff we listened to in previous episodes.

Again, if you haven’t heard the other parts in this series, I suggest you go back and listen to them first. This won’t make a lot of sense to you if you haven’t heard those parts, and I mean parts 1-5. Check them out.

So we’re going to continue and conclude the story from this episode, which is episode 2 from series 1. It’s actually called “Alan Attraction”.

Here’s a recap of what’s happened in Alan Attraction so far.

It’s happens to be Valentine’s Day and Alan has been sending chocolate oranges to women he knows aged 50 and under. The thing is, all the chocolate oranges are shop soiled – probably ones that have been on display in shops and then taken off display and sent back to Rawlinsons for some reason, and so Rawlinsons don’t know what to do with all these damaged Chocolate Oranges, so they’ve somehow done a deal with Alan whereby he plugs Chocolate Oranges from Rawlinsons (Just say “Chocolate Oranges are available from Rawlinsons”) and then they give him 50 of the shopsoiled chocolate oranges.

More importantly for Alan, he is struggling financially. He hasn’t been given a second series by the BBC so now he is being forced to make financial changes. He has sacked all the staff in his company Pear Tree Productions and has to trade down his Rover 800 for a smaller model.

In the last episode we heard him go to Pear Tree Productions and sack them all in the most cowardly and pathetic way, except for Jill – the middle aged divorcee that works for him, and who he fancies. He lied to Jill about sacking everyone and then took Jill on a romantic Valentine’s Day trip to a local Owl sanctuary and then he asked her out to dinner at the travel tavern where they have an extremely romantic all-you-can-eat buffet for 6 pounds. It’s all you can eat from an 8-inch plate and Alan is cheating by smuggling in a 12 inch plate from his room.

So in this episode we’re going to hear

  • What happens on Alan’s date with Jill
  • Will they get on?
  • What’s going to go wrong? (because this is Alan – something always goes wrong)
  • Is Alan going to get involved with Jill?
  • What kind of lover do you think Alan is?
  • And is Alan still going to sack Jill like he promised Lynn he would?

I realised just before recording this that I haven’t described the appearance of the characters in the show.

Alan has a kind of middle-aged, middle English kind of look. He wears sensible shoes, brown slacks, a cardigan and shirt or possibly a blue or green blazer with brass buttons. His hair is a sort of side parting but it goes quite wide at the sides. Somehow it is exactly the sort of hair cut that TV presenters had in the mid-nineties.

Lynn looks like a typical middle-aged conservative English churchgoing woman. She is very modestly dressed in a long skirt (grey or brown) a plain blouse, cardigan, overcoat which is light brown or grey maybe. Her look is extremely sensible and plain. Her hair is, again, generic middle aged woman territory but there is absolutely no glamour to Lynn. She is a Baptist, which is quite a strict form of English protestant Christian. She’s very conservative, extremely meek, modest and also completely devoted to Alan. We don’t know why she is so devoted to him but she is. Alan of course takes her devotion for granted. Everyone should be that devoted to him, probably. He is generally quite mean to Lynn although he is also affectionate in some ways. For example, he plays her a song on his radio show as a dedication but feels the need to then say it’s nothing to do with Valentine’s Day.

Then there’s Jill in this episode who I think is also 50 (like Lynn) but she’s far more glamourous and sexy (read: slutty) than Lynn. Really, Jill is very trashy – low cut top (revealing her cleavage), short skirt, hair pushed up, lots of make up. She has tanned (probably fake tanned) skin, smokes fags, wears high heels and makes loads of dirty and flirtatious comments.

Those are the main characters in this episode I think.

Right, so let’s carry on and we’re going to now listen to Alan and Jill having their romantic dinner at the Travel Tavern (a horrible place for a valentines date).

Here are some things to look out for

17:22
Alan and Jill have dinner at the travel tavern
Jill has changed into a red dress, Alan is wearing his green blazer. Alan and Jill have just finished dinner. Alan buys Jill a rose. He holds onto his larger (12 inch) plate and Jill orders a chocolate moose, then Alan gets up onto the stage, grabs the mic and does something.

  • What does Alan do on the stage? What happens?
  • Jill says “I didn’t know you could sing” – What is Alan’s response about being in the choir when he was a boy?
  • Lynn arrives. What does she have to tell Alan?
  • Why was Alan’s phone switched off?
  • Why is Lynn wearing a “snazzy cardigan”?
  • What does Lynn suggest to Jill?
  • What’s Alan’s response?
  • What does Lynn give to Jill?
  • What does Jill suggest at the end?
  • What happends in the video? Basically!

22:00
Alan’s Room

Alan emerges from the bathroom in a bath robe.
Jill is in the bed in a nightie.

  • What does Alan suggest to Jill about the bathroom?
  • What does Alan think about living in a travel tavern?
  • Alan puts some change on the bedside table. What does Jill say? What’s Alan’s awkward response?

Alan wants to turn off the light, Jill suggests that they just dim it and Alan slowly dims it to complete darkness. “Bit more, bit more, bit more”

The next bit is perfect because it’s just audio.

Alan in bed with Jill
23:10

  • What do you think of Alan’s pillow talk?
  • What does he actually say while they’re having it off?
  • What do you imagine they’re doing?
  • What does Alan say about condoms?
  • Why does Alan want to keep talking?
  • “People forget that traders need access to Dixons!
  • They do say it will help people in wheelchairs”
  • What does Jill do that upsets Alan?
  • Who knocks at the door?

Alan’s Lovebud

Alan is back in the studio for his morning radio show as Jill is driving home in the taxi. Alan does a feature on his show called “Alan’s Love Bud” which is probably about romantic stories. In this one he tells another story but it’s obviously him and Jill.

  • What’s the conclusion of the story?
  • What will Alan be doing in 3 minutes’ time?

646. British Comedy: Alan Partridge (Part 5)

What did Alan do on Valentine’s Day? Listen to find out, as we break down some more clips of this award-winning comedy and use them to learn English.

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Introduction

Welcome back to this episode about comedy legend Alan Partridge, a character played by Steve Coogan. This is part 5 in a series I started back in 2018. You should listen to the other parts before you listen to this.

What we’re going to do is continue to listen to some clips from an episode of I’m Alan Partridge – you should check out all the AP content out there including the DVDs you can find online.

We’re going to listen to some clips.
I’ll give you some things to watch out for.
We’ll see how much you can understand.
I’ll break it all down and point out funny moments and bits of language.

I hope to be able to cover all of this in this part, so we’ll have to keep things a bit brisk in order to stop the episode going on too long, but there might have to be another episode after this one, depending on how much we get done.

Let’s quickly sum up what happened in the last episode.

I reminded you who Alan Partridge is and what the context is for this episode.
We listened to Alan presenting his radio show and plugging chocolate oranges.
We heard Alan talking to the staff at the travel tavern and generally being awkward and weird.
Then we listened to Alan talking to Lynn about having to fire all the staff at his production company in order to avoid going bankrupt and because he’s not prepared to drive a Mini Metro even if they’ve rebadged it and it’s now the Rover Metro.

So in this episode we’re going to follow Alan as he meets all the members of his production company in order to fire them, even Jill the woman that he fancies and often flirts with.

Alan arrives with Lynn at the offices of Pear Tree Productions

09:15
Alan and the staff at Pear Tree Productions

Watch out for

  • How Alan flirts with Jill
  • How Alan lies by telling the staff the news about the second series
  • How Alan tries to stop people spending too much money
  • How Alan sacks his members of staff
  • How Alan manages to escape from everyone
  • When Jill asks Alan where everyone has gone, what does he say?

Alan and Jill

Watch out for

  • How Alan establishes if Jill likes him, sex wise, and his reaction
  • How they flirt really horribly
  • How Alan asks Jill out on a date

Alan & Jill at the Owl Sanctuary

Watch out for

  • Alan’s comment about astroturf
  • What Alan used to think when he saw Jill in the office
  • How Alan talks about a line of birds of prey they are looking at. He compares it to death row, and then look out for how his rambling comparison goes all weird.

Alan & Jill in the car

  • What did Alan do on Valentines day 8 years ago?
  • How does Alan ask Jill out on a date?

To be concluded in part 6…

645. British Comedy: Alan Partridge (Part 4)

Listening to some more classic British comedy and dissecting it for language. This time we’re listening to some more clips of Alan Partridge, a comedy character played by Steve Coogan. This is part 4 of a series I started in 2018.

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Introduction

Hello there, dear listener, and welcome back to this podcast for learners of English as a foreign or second language or third, or fourth. In these episodes I try to help you learn English while having a laugh at the same time. We cover a lot of British culture in these episodes including lots of stuff about comedy and there’s lots of English to be learned in the process.

Here’s another episode about Alan Partridge, a comedy character played by Steve Coogan. This is part 4 of a series I started in autumn 2018. 

You should listen to parts 1-3 (episodes 548-550) before hearing this. Seriously, if you haven’t heard the other parts yet – stop right now and go back to hear them. This will not make much sense to you unless you’ve heard parts 1-3 so go back and listen to them instead, before you listen to this. Alright? OK, so only the people who have already heard parts 1-3 (episodes 548-550) are still with me now then… It should be just those who’ve… what about you there?… yes, you I don’t remember you listening to the other parts. Probably best to hear those first, like I said, so… probably stop and go back… in the archive. (episodes 548-550) Ok you’re still listening. No that’s fine, just ignore, yep, just ignore what I said, yeah, because this doesn’t apply to you does it… just carry on then… don’t blame me though if this doesn’t make sense… not my fault, I did say… just one thing though, when you don’t get it, don’t even think about saying “this is British humour”… no this is not “British humour” ok, “this is poor listening skills and bloody mindedness”. OK, fine. Unbelievable.

I’m just kidding, everyone’s welcome! Here is another episode about British comedy legend Alan Partridge and this is part 4.

When I did parts 1-3 in autumn 2018, I wasn’t sure what people would think, but overall the response was really positive, with lots of people saying they’d like to hear more.

Here’s a comment I just got from a LTL called Aritz, which sums it up quite well I think.

Hey Luke! I wanted to write to you about the Alan Partridge episodes. Thank you so much for taking your time to record them! Although I already knew Steve Coogan, you managed to make me understand the character (Alan) and the comedian in more depth. The episodes were educational, funny and somehow brought us a bit of British culture (something that as a London resident I always appreciate). Seriously good (great!!) stuff! Thanks again!

Well then, let’s enter the world of Alan again then.

What we’re going to do here is listen to some clips of Alan Partridge and break it all down for language learning.

Hmmm, which clips should I choose. There’s so much. We’re spoiled for choice.

I’ve decided to deal with clips from “I’m Alan Partridge” Series 1, episode 2 which follows on from the episode when he has that meeting with Tony Hayers and it goes all wrong and he squishes some cheese into his face. 

I’ve chosen this episode because you already know the context of the story and it makes sense to carry on from where we were after hearing that scene. Also, this episode is just brilliant from start to finish (in my opinion of course, other opinions are available)

One thing I would like to say here is that I really want to recommend that you actually buy some Alan Partridge content. It’s really worth it. You should get a DVD or buy a series on iTunes or wherever you can.

I’d strongly recommend getting the DVDs for I’m Alan Partridge series 1 and 2. Also you could check out Mid Morning Matters series 1 and 2 if they’re available. If you’re in the UK you should find most of the AP content on the BBC iPlayer, including the recent series This Time with Alan Partridge (I recommend episode 4).

As well as those, you could get the Alan Partridge books. The first one is called “I, Partridge – We Need to Talk about Alan” and the second one is called “Nomad”. They are both absolutely brilliant and it’s not an exaggeration to say they are literally the best books I’ve ever read. Ok, that is an exaggeration, but it’s really not an exaggeration to say that the audiobook versions really are the best audiobooks I’ve ever heard.

The cool thing about the audiobooks is that they are read out by Alan himself (actually the actor Steve Coogan of course) and this is just amazing. You get hours of Alan reading you both his books and it’s absolutely top drawer comedy writing, and top-drawer voice acting too. Steve Coogan is a genius.

So, you could sign up with Audible and get the two Alan Partridge books.

And it just so happens that my Audible offer is still available!

You download the app on your phone, sign up with Audible and create an account to get the audiobooks, then download them onto your phone.

The offer is: One month of free Audible membership + any audiobook of your choice completely free.

If you like, you can cancel your membership before the end of the month and keep the free book. 

So it’s essentially a free audiobook.

www.Audibletrial.com/teacherluke or click an audible logo on my website.

And also there’s the Alan Partridge film, called Alpha Papa, in which Alan gets involved in an armed hostage situation at a radio station and ends up being the hostage negotiator.

So – plenty of Alan content for you to purchase, some of it free.

OK, I just wanted to promote the various bits of Alan Partridge stuff that you can get before we begin.

Right then, so where were we last time?

Context

Alan Partridge is this TV and radio presenter from Norwich in East Anglia in England who basically only cares about getting on television and enjoying the status of being a national broadcaster. He’s convinced he’s A-Grade talent, when in fact he’s at best a D-grade broadcaster or worse. He’s pretty much an awful person, although there are obviously worse people out there. Really, Alan is just lost, deluded, cowardly and deceitful rather than being out and out cruel or evil, although he treats his personal assistant Lynn pretty badly. But there’s something compelling about Alan, even though we certainly don’t want to be him, we might recognise ourselves in him. Is he uniquely British? In a way, yes. We tend to enjoy watching comedy characters who are quite awful, who think they’re better than they are, who are unaware of themselves. 

We’re usually quite self-conscious people who try our best to avoid being like Alan, so maybe there’s something quite cathartic about watching someone who is so unaware of himself and so unafflicted by modesty and self-consciousness.

Anyway, I shouldn’t try to explain all of that. I did enough in parts 1-3.

Let’s just get down to business.

So, Alan is a parody (he’s not a real person of course, just a character – that should be clear) a parody of a certain type of TV presenter. He used to be a sports reporter, then he got his own chat show, but accidentally killed a man on live TV. Now he has been thrown out by his wife, their marriage has broken up, probably because of him. In fact it’s all covered in the I, Partridge audiobook. Alan is now living in a roadside motel, or “Travel Tavern”. Somehow he avoided criminal proceedings from what happened on his chat show. Then he failed to get a second series of his show and ended up having a meltdown and punching his boss in the face with a piece of cheese while shouting “Smell my cheese you mother!”

So basically, he doesn’t have a second series and his career is on the rocks.

He’s still presenting a radio show on BBC Radio Norwich, but he’s got the pre-breakfast slot, which is something like 4.30-6.30AM. It’s the graveyard shift, basically. He’s drifting into obscurity.

In this episode, Alan attempts to deal with the fact that he doesn’t have a second series. He’s got to face up to certain financial realities, meaning that he can’t move into his new 5 bedroom house, he has to get a much cheaper car and he’s going to have to lay off (or sack, or fire) almost everyone who he employs at his media production company. He employs about 5 people there, including a middle-aged woman called Jill who he fancies.

Mostly in the episode we follow Alan as he deals with these things, badly in most cases. So he has to sack his production staff, get a smaller car and try to maintain his dignity while living in a shitty travel tavern. 

It’s valentine’s day in this episode, so there’s a kind of romantic theme – I say romantic, it’s not romantic at all really, but Alan ends up chatting up Jill from his production company and takes her out on a date. Lynn, his personal assistant seems a bit jealous. The whole thing goes wrong of course.

We’re going to do pretty much the whole episode here.

I’m Alan Partridge S1 E2

There is a laughter track on this, which is a pity, but honestly after a while you start to ignore it.

Alan’s radio show

Opening scenes on BBC Radio Norwich

What to watch out for:

  • Alan’s dedication to his PA Lynn
  • Why there’s no telephone Cluedo today
  • What Alan says about the sound effect (the normal morning cockrel and then the sound of a kiss)
  • How does Alan define Valentine’s Day?
  • How Alan gets the tone of a light pre-breakfast radio show completely wrong by talking about syphilis
  • How Alan ruins Dave Clifton’s joke about valentines cards “It’s valentines day! I came down this morning and I couldn’t open my door. I couldn’t open my door because I’d lost my key” ~terrible joke
  • How Alan manages to plug chocolate oranges from Rawlinsons

That’s not the sound of someone kissing me, or kissing a cock… cockrel I mean. It’s simply a way of saying “it’s valentines day”, a day upon which mr Al Capone ruined a romantic night out for many diners by massacring them. Died of syphillis he did, so there is some justice.

Alan in the reception

  • What’s the problem he has with Ben, who he says good morning to?
  • How does he subtly insult Susan on reception?
  • What’s the situation with Alan and the chocolate oranges?
  • What’s Alan’s fat back?
  • Can Sophie exchange her dark chocolate orange for a milk chocolate one?
  • Someone says “Excuse me, are you Alan Partridge?” – why?
  • What’s Alan’s complaint about the soap? (he acts out a washing routine in the shower)
  • Who sent Sophie a Valentine’s card?

Alan and Lynn talk about finances

  • What’s the good news?
  • And the bad news?
  • What about his Rover 800? Is he willing to drive a Mini Metro to save money?
  • What does he have to do re: Pear Tree Productions?
  • How does Lynn feel about Jill?
  • What’s Alan’s scam at the breakfast buffet?

The story continues in part 5…

625. 88 English expressions that will confuse everyone (Part 2)

Let’s continue going through this list of words from an article I found in The Independent. Here is another list of 30 items of British English slang. Notes and links available below.

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Reminder: London LEP MeetUp – Sunday 17 November

From 2PM at the Fitzroy Tavern, 16 Charlotte Street, London W1T 2LY.

Email Zdenek to let him know you’re coming – teacherzdenek@gmail.com

Introduction

Welcome to LEP#625. This episode is all about British English slang.

Let’s continue going through this list of words from an article I found in The Independent.

Here’s the original link

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/british-phrases-english-language-sayings-britain-england-uk-different-a8138046.html

A note on slang

Every version of every language has slang and also cultural reference points that are unique to that language. English is no exception of course and because it is such a diverse language in terms of the number of different dialects it has, it is quite possible for there to be slang in certain dialects that other speakers of the same language don’t understand. For example, Americans might not understand certain things said in British English. Of course it’s also difficult for learners of English to deal with slang. It’s not normally the language you encounter in the coursebooks and so on, and yet slang is very commonly used.

So, a dialect of English like British English might be difficult to understand for anyone who wasn’t born or grew up there.

That’s what this article was all about and the 88 bits of English (either words or expressions) listed, reflect this uniquely British version of English that might be confusing for everyone else in the world.

But I am here to try to lessen that confusion with my explanations and examples.

You can use this episode series to quickly learn a whole world of slang, which will help you understand and be understood by Brits more easily.

And even if you’re not planning to get chatting to some British people any time soon, you can consider this series just to be a chance to broaden your horizons as far as the English language is concerned and learn yet more of this precious vocabulary – because vocabulary probably is the most precious stuff of all. This is the difference, often, between intermediate English and advanced or proficient English – knowing how to adjust your style of English to meet various different situations. A knowledge of slang is essential, I think, in order to know all the possible light and shade in this language.

As ever with these articles, there are always a few little words or phrases that I dispute or at least don’t know. Last time it was “dench” which neither my brother nor I use, ever. (I made several edits to the episode after initially releasing it, with some comments that my brother sent to me via text). Let’s see if there are other similar words and phrases that I don’t use, perhaps because it’s a regional thing and not said in my area growing up.

As we go through the list I will let you know which ones I actually use and which ones I don’t. If you’re using me as a model for the type of English you want to speak, you can perhaps disregard any of the ones which I don’t use. But of course you should always be listening carefully to the English language as it is used and if you spot any of these expressions being used on TV, in music, films or just in normal life then that’s worth noting.

Also, I think that sometimes I use these expressions but in a knowing, ironic way. For example, if I called someone “the bee’s knees” I think I’d be doing it largely because I like the sound of the expression, but knowing it’s a bit old-fashioned. It can be fun sometimes just to use these different expressions for a laugh as a way to add colour or humour to your speaking.

So I will also let you know if I think I use these expressions with a bit of irony.

In part 1 I did 30 of these. Let’s see if I can do the next 30 and then the final 28 in part 3.

I’m going to have to be quick, so pay attention!

Text in italics has been pasted from the original article (link above).

  1. “Faff”

to faff about/around

To “faff” is to waste time doing very little.

“Faff” comes from the 17th century word “faffle,” which means to flap about in the wind.

“We were just faffing about.”

Messing around

Stop faffing around. Come on, let’s go!

  1. How much time in your typical day do you spend just faffing around?
  2. What do you actually do when you faff around?

2. “Fag”

A cigarette.

A “fag end” is also the ratty bits towards the ends of a reel of fabric, which are the worst and the cheapest bits of the reel. Historically, “fags” were the cheaper cigarettes made of lower grade tobacco, however, the slang has spread to encompass all cigarettes.

“Could I scrounge a fag off you, please?”

In American English it’s a gay person (very offensive word) so watch out for that.
– “Can I bum a fag off you mate?”

  • What’s the nickname you give to cigarettes in your language?

A fag butt, to stub out a cigarette, to ask for a light, a ciggie

3. “Fit”

“She’s really fit though, isn’t she?”

Sexually attractive

When I was a kid we all thought our maths teacher was really fit.

Used to describe someone physically attractive, usually referring to their physique.

“He’s fit.”

“She’s got a fit body”

Obviously it also means to be in good physical condition, like an athlete.

Hot

  • Which actor or actress do you think is quite fit/fit/really fit?

4. “Flog”

To “flog” means to sell something — usually quickly and cheaply.

“I’m trying to flog my old sofa. Do you know anyone that might be interested?”

  • What is the last thing that you flogged?

Flog It (TV show)

5. “the Full Monty”

The entire thing, with all the extras included.

After “The Full Monty” film was released in 1997, there was some international confusion over the phrase in which it was taken as a euphemism for stripping. However, “the full Monty” actually refers to pursuing something to the absolute limits.

“The full Monty” historically refers to an old tailor called Sir Montague Burton. Going “the fully Monty” meant purchasing a full three-piece suit, a shirt, and all of the trimmings.

“Our Christmas dinner had everything from sprouts to Yorkshire puddings. If you’re going to have a roast, have the full Monty!”

I’m going to go for the full monty. A full English breakfast.

I very rarely use it.

  • Have you ever had a full English breakfast? Did you go for the full monty? How about a Sunday roast? Full monty?

6. “Full of beans”

Someone that’s energetic, lively, or enthusiastic might be described as “full of beans.”

This phrase could be a reference to coffee beans, although these claims have been disputed.

Beans generally give you energy (and gas) so the meaning is pretty clear for me.

“Goodness, you’re full of beans this morning!”

  • How do you feel right now? Do you feel full of bean? Or are you feeling knackered?

7. “Gaff”

Where do you want to do it? Your gaff? My gaff?

“Gaff” is an informal word for “home.”

It sounds cockney to me.

“What are you up to this weekend? We’ve got a party at our gaff, if you fancy it?”

I’d use it ironically because it sounds really cockney. It’s the kind of thing you hear in Eastenders.

Have you ever seen Eastenders?

Peep Show? 
'I'm gonna blow this gaff wide open. '
Veep? 
I've been running this gaff for 25 years.
Layer Cake? 
- That was quick. - The gaff is rotten in there.
Withnail &a I? 
Do you realize this gaff's overwhelmed with rodents?

8. “Gallivanting”

To “gallivant” means to roam, or to set off on an expedition, with the sole intention of having some light-hearted fun. I imagine someone skipping through a forest or a hilly meadow.

You’re supposed to stay and be a princess, not go gallivanting after pirates!

I’m going to gallivant right over (Game of Thrones S6E5) getyarn.io/yarn-clip/6b807166-bb4c-482d-99fd-ad1247186bcc

“Off they go again, gallivanting.”

I would only use this in a kind of sarcastic way, in order to complain about someone doing other things when they should be focusing on something more serious.

Off he goes, gallivanting around the South of France when he should be at home sorting out all the problems. 

9. “Geezer”

A “geezer” is a man that could be described as “suave” or “dapper,” and is often suited and booted. Men from east London are also commonly referred to as “geezers.”

A geezer is a slang word for a man, like a bloke.

“That guy’s got such swagger — he’s a proper geezer.”

I use this one quite a lot although it does sound quite cockney (other regional dialects use it too). You can also say “bloke”.

10. “Give me a tinkle on the blower”

“Give me a call” or “ring me.” The phrase is sometimes shortened to “give me a tinkle.”

“Tinkle” refers to a phone’s ring, while “blower” is slang or telephone and refers to the device that predated phones on Naval ships. Sailors would blow down a pipe to their recipient, where a whistle at the end of the pipe would sound to spark attention.

“Give me a tinkle on the blower.”

I never say it.

11. “Gobsmacked”

Astounded; bewildered; shocked.

“Gob” is slang for mouth, so if you’re gobsmacked, you’re shocked to the point of clasping your jaw in disbelief.

“I was gobsmacked!”

It’s a good word which everyone should know.

  • When was the last time you were gobsmacked? Have you ever felt gobsmacked while watching a film or TV show, like when a character dies unexpectedly?

12. “Gutted”

Not to be confused with literally being disembowelled, someone that says they’re “gutted” is devastated or extremely upset.

“I was absolutely gutted.”

It’s one of the most common and recognisable bits of UK slang, along with knackered and chuffed.

  • How would you feel if you got invited onto Luke’s English Podcast? Would you feel gutted or chuffed?

13. “Half past”

While Americans are more likely to say “seven thirty” or “five fifty,” Brits will more often than not refer to times in “minutes past” the hour (or minutes to). Eg, “half past seven,” and “ten to six.”

It’s unclear why Brits appear to favour analogue time-telling while Americans go for the digital format. (we don’t do it so much any more)

“It’s twenty past eleven.”

On the right hand side of the clock, it’s past (including half past).
On the left hand side of the clock, it’s to.

Quiz – say these times

Answers below

1:10
2:15
3.20
4.25
5.30
6.35
7.40
8.45
9.50
10.55

Answers

1:10 “ten past one”
2:15 “a quarter past two”
3.20 “twenty past three”
4.25 “twenty five past four”
5.30 “half past five”
6.35 “twenty five to seven”
7.40 “twenty to eight”
8.45 “a quarter to nine”
9.50 “ten to ten”
10.55 “five to eleven”

Sometimes these are abbreviated to “half past” “quarter past” “ten to” etc.

  • What time do you get up?
  • What time did you start listening to this?
  • What time do you go to bed?
  • What time does your lunch end?

14. “Hank Marvin”

“Hank Marvin” is Cockney rhyming slang for “starving.”

“I’m Hank Marvin” means “I’m hungry” or “I’m ravenous.”

“When are we going to eat? I’m absolutely Hank Marvin.”

I do use this one, and my wife has learned to understand it.

  • How are you feeling right now? Full, stuffed, fine, a bit peckish, hungry, absolutely Hank Marvin?

15. “Innit”

“Innit” is an abbreviation of “isn’t it” most commonly used amongst teenagers and young people.

You can add it as a tag question on the end of a sentence, no matter what the auxiliary verb is.

He hasn’t done his homework, innit.
He ain’t done his homework innit.
You ain’t done your homework innit.

It can also be used as a response as a way to confirm something.

“It’s really cold today.”

“Innit though.”

I think also we use “Is it?” as a way to show surprise.

“My mum won the lottery”

“Is it?” or “Yo, is it fam!?”

Sounds terrible when I say it.

I use “innit” quite a lot, but ironically, meaning I know I’m not normally the type of person who uses it and I’m kind of imitating Ali G.

16. “Leg it”

Make a run for it; run away; scarper.

“That’s when all of the lights came on, and so we legged it.”

We used to say this all the time when we were kids.

17. “Long”

I never say this and if I did it would be embarrassing. It’s the sort of thing I’d hear from schoolkids on the bus in London.

The same people who’d say things like “innit” and “blud” or “fam”.

Something that takes a lot of effort and probably isn’t going to be worth all of the effort, either, could be described as “long.” This could be due to the lengths that the person will have to go to in order to complete the task.

Something that is “long” is probably also annoying or aggravating.

“Cleaning the kitchen is long.”

18. “the Lurgy”

If someone’s “caught the lurgy,” they’re suffering from cold or flu-like symptoms.

“She’s come down with the dreaded lurgy.”

  • When was the last time you got the lurgy? Did you take time off work or college? How do you protect yourself from the lurgy? What’s a cure for the lurgy?

19. Making random words past-tense to mean drunk

Brits are known for favouring a drink or two, so much so that almost any noun can be used as a substitute for “drunk.”

In his stand-up show, British comedian Michael MacIntyre said: “You can actually use any word in the English language and substitute it to mean drunk. It works.”

Examples include “trollied,” “smashed,” and “gazeboed.”

“I was absolutely car-parked last night.”

sloshed, sozzled, wasted, pissed, badgered, rat-arsed

  • Do you do the same thing in your language? (Not get drunk, but use various words to describe it)

20. “Miffed”

Slightly irritated or annoyed.

“I was a bit miffed, I can’t lie.”

  • When was the last time you felt a bit miffed? What happened?

21. “Minging”

Something unpleasant, unappetising, or highly unattractive might be described as “minging.”

The term comes from the Scottish slang word “ming,” meaning faeces.

“What’s in that sandwich? Is that ham and tuna? That’s minging.”

It’s rude but sometimes people use the word to describe an ugly person, especially an ugly woman, but that’s not very nice at all.

“Your sister’s minging.”

22. “Mint”

“Mint” might be used when referring to something of the highest calibre.

Derived from “mint condition,” which refers to something pre-owned that retains its pristine condition, although something that’s just “mint” doesn’t have to be pre-owned.

“Those shoes are mint!”

  • Can you name something that you own that you think is mint?

My new Dr Martens are mint.

23. “Mortal”

I never use it.

Derived from the Newcastle sociolect, “mortal” was made widely known across the country in 2011 by reality TV show “Geordie Shore.”

“Mortal” describes someone highly intoxicated or drunk in a sloppy manner.

“Did you see Scott last night? He was mortal.”

24. “Nick”

in the nick = in prison

To get nicked = to get arrested

To nick something = to steal something

“The Nick” can refer to prison, while “to nick” also means to steal.

“Did you just nick that?”

“If you nick that you’ll get caught, or you’ll end up in the Nick. You’ll get nicked!”

Terrible accent by Don Cheadle in Oceans 11 (supposed to be Cockney)

That's a great idea, Albert. Let's all get nicked.

  • Have you ever got nicked? I have. You can hear about it in this episode.

45. Luke & Andy’s Crime Stories (with Andy Johnson)

25. “I’m on it (like a car bonnet)”

I’ve never heard or used this phrase (except the “I’m on it” part).

This colloquialism might be said by someone that has the situation under control.

“I’m on it” is definitely a phrase.

“How’s the report going, Steve?”

“Don’t you worry, Alan, I’m on it (like a car bonnet).”

Alan thinks “That would have been alright if he hadn’t said ‘like a car bonnet at the end’….. He’s going to have to go.”

“Don’t worry Alan. I’m on it!”

26. “On the pull”

Someone that’s “on the pull” has gone out, usually on a night out, with the intention of attracting a sexual partner.

“Pull” can also be used as a verb. If you’ve “pulled,” you’ve kissed someone.

“You look nice. Are you going on the pull?”

“Get your coat, you’ve pulled.”

Also: on the lash

27. “Over-egg the pudding”

“Over-egging the pudding” means embellishing or over-doing something to the extent that it’s detrimental to the finished product. Going over the top.

Basically though, it means going too far, doing too much, pushing a situation to the max, but it is said in a pejorative and disdainful way, like “Don’t over-egg the pudding Luke”.

“We get it — you’ve injured yourself. Don’t over-egg the pudding.”

  • Do you think they over-egged the pudding at the end of Avengers Endgame? Too many superheroes?

28. “Pants”

Rubbish; terrible, really bad. Poor quality.

“This is pants.”

“That film was total pants.”

How was the film? Pants
What about the match? Pants
How was England’s performance? It was pants
What about the pub where they showed the game? Pants
The beer? Pants
How about your pants? They’re  pants.
Actually no, my pants are great. They’re the only thing that isn’t pants, my pants.
That’s ironic isn’t it, that your pants are great but everything else is pants, but not meaning great.
I think it’s because pants in general are bad, but my pants just happen to be great so they’re
The exception that proves the rule.
Yes, but I’ve never understood that phrase. How can an exception prove a rule? Surely it should be the opposite?

29. Par (diss)

I never ever use this. I’m much more likely to say “diss” as in “disrespect”. So let’s replace “par” with “diss” instead.

A “diss” is a disrespectful comment.

“Diss” can also be used as a verb, eg, “You just got dissed.” “Are you dissing my English?”

It comes from the word disrespect or disrespected.

“I don’t mean this as a diss, but did you remember to wash this morning?”

I don’t think I would use it unironically.

Are you dissing me?

30. “Pear-shaped”

A situation which has quickly evolved into an accident waiting to happen might be described as “gone pear-shaped.”

The phrase is reportedly old slang from the Royal Air Force and was used to described awry expeditions and flights.

“Well, this has all gone a bit pear-shaped.”

Simon, where have you been?
Well, I went out to buy some milk but things got a bit pear shaped and I ended up going to Area 51.

To be continued in part 3…

624. 88 English expressions that will confuse everyone (Part 1)

An episode about British English slang and culture, featuring expressions that Brits know but everyone else finds confusing. Here are the first 30 expressions in a list of 88 that I found on independent.co.uk. Includes plenty of funny improvised examples to make you laugh out loud on the bus.

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London LEPster MeetUp – 2pm Sunday 17 November

Fitzroy Tavern, 16 Charlotte St, Fitzrovia, London W1T 2LY

From 2PM.

I’ll be there.

Let’s play some board games and have a drink.

Zdenek is organising it. If you could send him an email to let him know you’re coming that would be great. teacherzdenek@gmail.com

The original article on independent.co.uk

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/british-phrases-english-language-sayings-britain-england-uk-different-a8138046.html

1. A few sandwiches short of a picnic

He’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic, isn’t he?

2. Anorak

I’m a bit of a Beatles anorak.

3. Bagsie

Bagsie the front seat! Shotgun!

4. The bee’s knees

He’s the bee’s knees.

5. Bender (go on a)

I went on a 3-day bender last weekend. I feel rough as f*ck right now.

6. Blinder (to pull a)

You pulled an absolute blinder in that negotiation.

EDIT 1

My brother has chipped in here with a comment, saying that he thinks the most common collocation with Blinder is “to play a blinder” and I admit that he’s right. Thinking about it, I’ve definitely heard “play a blinder” more than “pull a blinder”.

A quick internet search shows us the same thing.

Collins says it’s when a sports player or musician plays something really well but it’s also applied to when anyone does anything well. For example, you played a blinder in that meeting.

Or You played an absolute blinder getting us front row tickets for this show.

OK, so let’s say “play a blinder” more often than “pull a blinder”.

7. Bloody / Bleedin’

Bloody hell Harry! Bleedin‘ Heck!

8. Bob’s your uncle

Put the bag in the mug, add hot water, then some milk and Bob’s your uncle.

9. Bog-standard

We’re staying in a bog-standard hotel up the road.

10. Boot

Put the money in the boot of the car.

11. Botch(ed) job

You did a real botch(ed) job on that chair. It is a real death-trap. You really made a botch of that, didn’t you?

12. Brolly

Do you need a brolly?

13. Budge up

Come on, budge up a bit. I don’t have much room.

14. Builder’s tea

I like a nice cup of builder’s tea, me.

15. Butcher’s

Give us a butcher’s at that! Have a butcher’s at this.

16. Cack-handed

I’m really cack-handed today. I don’t know what’s the matter with me.

17. Cheeky

You’re such a cheeky little monkey!

18. Chinese whispers

It must have been Chinese whispers.

19. Chinwag

Let’s get together and have a good old chinwag.

20. Chocablock

I tell you what. It’s absolutely chockablock out there. Absolutely chocka.

21. Chuffed

You must be really chuffed!

22. Clanger

You dropped an absolute clanger at the dinner party.

23. Codswallop

What a load of absolute codswallop.

24. Cost a bomb

Those new iPhones cost an absolute bomb.

25. Cream-crackered

I am absolutely cream-crackered. I think I’m going to go straight to bed.

26. Curtain twitcher

Our neighbour is a bit of a curtain twitcher.

27. Dench

I’m going to make some tea. Dench. (?)

EDIT 2

I just want to add something about the word “Dench”.

I said that I didn’t know this and that I don’t use it.

My brother reckons the word is “fake”, by which I think he means that this one isn’t really used.

He’s never heard or used it either.

I don’t know why the Independent would add a fake word in their list, but let’s just say that you can probably avoid the word “Dench” and not worry about it at all.

If you’ve heard or seen the word being used, add a comment to the comment section.

I’ve just done a quick google check and there are entries for the word in Collins (but not an “official” definition – it was added by a user) and Urban Dictionary – both confirming that the word basically means “nice” or “Awesome” but there aren’t that many entries for it.

So I think we can conclude that it is a new phrase, probably only used by a few people, particularly younger generations.

28. Dim

Tim’s a jolly good bloke. A bit dim though.

29. Doddle

That exam was an absolute doddle.

30. Dog’s dinner

You made an absolute dog’s dinner of that.

Follow me on Twitter @EnglishPodcast

 

 

621. British TV: Dragons’ Den (Part 3) Discord in the Den

One more episode about this TV series involving entrepreneurs getting investment for their business startups. In this one there’s plenty of disagreement and some strong feedback from the Dragons.

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A bit of language

  • They’ve applied in their droves, eager to get an investment.
  • It’s the Dragons’ own money on the line.
  • The rest will leave empty-handed.
  • Going on DD must be very nerve-wracking.
  • They’re giving him a healthy dose of reality, but also it’s pretty brutal feedback.
  • They’re going to go to town on him.
    5.20
  • Peter Jones just looks bewildered.
  • His steadfast belief in his product may be admirable but that’s not enough for Peter Jones.
  • I am pleading with you not to do it.

Pitch 1 starts at 01:53 // Pitch 2 starts at 13:35

Leave me your comment – don’t be a ninja!

620. British TV: Dragons’ Den (Part 2) Negotiation

Listen to a real business negotiation and learn loads of English in the process. Vocabulary, scripts and notes available below.

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Transcript & Notes

Welcome back to LEP. This is part 2 of this mini series I’m going to do about BBC Dragons’ Den, the TV show about entrepreneurs trying to raise finance for their business startups by going to meet the Dragons – a group of 5 business angels looking to make money by investing in interesting new business propositions.

In part 1 of this I did a long business ramble all about the different factors and considerations involved in an entrepreneur attempting to do an investment deal with a private equity investor. That covered loads of vocabulary relating to loads of different areas of business and laid the ground work for this episode in which we are going to use a real pitch from an episode of Dragons’ Den as a case study from which we can learn loads of English.

Also, the story of this particular investment is particularly interesting and the negotiation takes an unexpected turn which creates more emotional drama than you might expect from a business meeting.

So, at the end of part 1 we listened to Kirsty Henshaw’s original pitch. Let’s listen to that again and break it down for language. After that we’ll listen to the rest of the meeting in bits. We’ll listen and then listen again and break it all down.

This should be a really good one! I hope you’re listening carefully. We might be able to get all of this done in this episode, we will see. There are other Dragons’ Den pitches that I’d like to do too so I might add another episode with some other pitches as well. So perhaps this will be a 3 or 4 part series.

Right, so let’s listen to Kirsty Henshaw again and remember my questions from before.

  • How much investment does she need? £65,000
  • What equity stake is she offering in return? 15%
  • What exactly is the product? A healthy alternative to ice-cream – a frozen dessert (free from dairy, sugar, soya, nuts – everything! But what’s actually in it?)
  • Why does she need the investment? To buy stock, raise brand awareness with marketing and PR

Would you like to invest?
What questions would you like to ask next?

Kirsty’s pitch begins at 44:00

Peter Jones
It tastes more like frozen yoghurt. Is that fair?
– She wanted a healthy option, similar to ice cream but there’s no dairy that’s why it’s a frozen desert.
How much has it cost so far?
£20,000
How many have you sold?
2,500 units
Went to a big meeting with a large supermarket – it’s completely unique, some of the staff had heard about it before
Do you have any forecasts in the first year?
– 300,000 units – starting to get into bigger places now

Duncan Bannatyne
How healthy is it? How much fat is in it?
– Less than 3% fat in all of them, no sugar in any, carbohydrates are from fruit extracts, a good form of sugar

James Caan
What are the ingredients?
Brown rice milk (because soya isn’t great for children and rice milk is a good digestive enzyme), the fat is organic virgin coconut oil, sweetened with extract of apple, carob and grape.

Deborah Meaden
How far are you down the track with the supermarket?
– Min 400 stores from Sept when they do their refresh
Are they committed?
– At least 350-400 stores to trial it

Theo Paphetis
Which supermarket is it?
– Tesco
They must have asked you whether you could produce in the right volume?
Yes
What did you say?
– I said yes because I’ve spoken to the manager of the biggest ice cream manufacturers and they can make it no problem, if we get the order (volume – numbers)

James Caan
Do you have any idea what Tesco’s potentially could order?
– At least four flavours for each store to start with
How many in a case?
12
If they sold one case per week per store, that’s 400 cases. How much do you make per unit?
– Just over one pound
So 4,000 per week is what you’d make. That’s 200,000 a year.
– Not including my current suppliers
What did you forecast your profit in year one?
– £300,000
So that forecast is not a million miles out. There’s some substance around it.

What’s your background?
Uni (sports science), but had to leave because mind was on the business

Theo
Who is Worhingshaw’s?
– Mix of boyfriend and her name – to make it sound like it had been around for a while
Have you really done all this on your own?
– Yes
How do you invest the money in this?
– 2 jobs and a bit of a night job, and my little boy
You’re pretty amazing aren’t you?
– No, not really.
[She starts crying]
This has been really tough for you hasn’t it?
– I just do it all for my little boy. I just want him to have a good life.
I’ve got to be honest with you. I’m finding it really really difficult to actually take on board what you’ve achieved. It’s phenomenal. I’m totally blown away by it. I’m going to make you an offer. You’ve come in here asking for 60,000 for 15% but I want 40%.
And I’ll explain to you why. Because I’m not going to give you 60,000, I’m giving you 100,000 because that’s what I believe you need to make this business successful.

Deborah Meaden
Let me tell you where I am. I think you’ve done a great job against all odds, but here’s my blunt and honest truth to you. I’m not going to beat Theo’s offer so I’m not going to waste my time making you one. Thank you very much but I’m out.

Peter Jones
Where do you want to take it? You’d love to see this product in every shop. Reggae Reggae Sauce was a big success because of Levi Roots’ whole story. You could be the frozen desert version of Levi Roots.

For that reason I’d like to make you an offer for the full amount but I only want 25% of the company.

James Caan
Let me wish you every success but you’re not going to need my offer so I’m out (there are already deals on the table).

Duncan Bannatyne
I’ll match Peter’s offer (£60,000 for 25%)

Kirsty
I don’t want to give 40% away but thank you for your offer Theo.
I’m really confused now because I know you’re both brilliant.
You’re both ideal to help me, so I don’t really know what to do now.

Peter
If we raised it to 30% so we got 15% each, I’m more than happy to work with Duncan if that’s something he would accept (yes).

Kirsty
I’d really like to work with both of you. It would be ideal so thank you very much I’d really like to accept your offers.

That’s it!

What do you think? Would you like some more Dragons’ Den on the podcast?

Let me know your thoughts in the comment section.

619. British TV: Dragons’ Den (Part 1) Vocabulary

Learn tons of business vocabulary in context in this episode all about a TV show about entrepreneurs negotiating investment for their business startups. Notes & scripts available below.

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Transcript & Notes

Hello and welcome to LEP#619. How are you today? All good I hope.

In this episode of LEP we’re going to look at a popular BBC TV show which is now in its 17th series on BBC2. We’re going to listen to some clips, I’ll help you understand it all like a native speaker and we’ll be mining the whole thing for vocabulary too. I’ve done episodes like this before about British TV including Top Gear and Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. Both of those are available in the episode archive. Now it’s the turn of one of my favourites – Dragons Den.

You might be thinking, “Dragons’ Den. What is that? Is it some kind of Game of Thrones thing, a fantasy thing with dragons and stuff?”

No, not at all. In fact this series is all about business startups, entrepreneurs, investors, negotiations and pitching new business ideas.

It’s based on a Japanese TV format. So, Japanese LEPsters might be familiar with DD already. Also it might exist in other countries too. It’s been on the BBC since 2005. I really enjoy watching it and also using clips in class, which I have been doing for years now and is one of my favourite things to do in English lessons. I could spend a whole week on Dragons Den, with all the vocab, the listening, and then doing role plays of business presentations, negotiations and discussions. This is the first time I’ve dipped my toe into Dragons’ Den on the podcast.

There will be tons of business vocabulary in this episode as well as a chance to test your listening skills as we listen to clips of this show including people presenting their businesses and negotiating an investment.

What I’m going to do is this

  • Introduce to the topic, with quite a lot of business vocabulary relating to everything involved in starting up a new business and raising finance for it.
  • Play you some clips from Dragons Den, when one person pitches their business idea and dragons start negotiating, and I’ll break it down for vocabulary.

I’ll explain a bit of the vocab as we go through this episode, and there will be a lot of context to help you but mainly I want to focus on just listening to clips from the show and then helping you understand everything. Really, one of my aims at LEP is to help you appreciate things like TV, films and comedy more easily in English, or at least to be able to use them to help you learn English more effectively.

So we’ll focus on the clips after an introduction from me, and then I can deal with the vocabulary more specifically in a premium series, which I’m also working on.

OK, so let’s get into the details of this TV show Dragons’ Den.

First let me explain the title.

Dragons’ Den – what does it mean?

Dragons’ Den. A den of dragons.

To walk into the lions’ den (the place where the lions live) = to deliberately put yourself in a position of danger or difficulty

Usually this means to face a difficult situation, like going into a room full of people who will criticise you. Imagine a politician involved in a scandal going into a room full of journalists. He’s walking into the lions’ den.

A “den” is a kind of place where Lions might live. It could be a clearing in a forest, maybe within the roots of a tree, maybe surrounded by some rocks. A place where the lions hang out and sleep. That’s a den. Kids also build dens in their bedrooms. They take blankets and pillows and drape them over chairs and tables to make little dens which they can then hide in and play inside.

In this case its Dragons’ Den, so this is like a lions’ den but even more scary and dangerous! I think it’s just that dragons are better analogies for scary, no-nonsense business people than lions. Also, it sounds cool “Dragons’ Den”.

So, the dragons are the investors in their leather chairs. The den is a kind of renovated warehouse that could be somewhere in East London maybe, in a trendy new business district. The 5 dragons are sitting in a line with their plush leather chairs, sharp suits, pads and pens, side tables with glasses of water and piles of cash! The cash is just for show of course (there are quite a few lingering shots of the money).

The entrepreneurs are nervous, feeling the pressure. They walk up some tight spiral stairs into the room and the dragons eye them all up judgementally.

Then the entrepreneur starts his or her pitch. The dragons ask questions and drill down into the business plan and then there are some negotiations for the investment.

The entrepreneur is looking for an investment of a certain amount. In return they are offering a portion of the equity of the company.

Equity in this case means the ownership of the company. If you imagine a pie chart or a pizza, perhaps, if you prefer. Imagine that pizza. 100% of it is mine. But I might choose to sell some parts of that pizza to an investor. Let’s say I give them 20% of the pizza for about £20,000. In terms of a business this means that the investor gets 20% of the profits that the company makes. In return I get cash which I can use to get the business going in various ways.

So equity refers to ownership of the company and it is divided into shares. Sometimes it is referred to as an equity stake. So an investor might have a 20% equity stake in a company, for example. The entrepreneur holds onto an 80% equity stake.

This is how finance can be raised. Instead of getting a loan and paying interest you kind of liquidate part of the company to get the cash but you also get the support of an investor too, and that’s the other thing the dragons offer. Not just cash but also some business acumen and contacts to help them get a foot in the door.

The dragons have actually financed a few successful businesses in the past on this show, ones that have made it to the supermarkets or even become household names.

Yes, all the businesses are real, all the money is real and the deals are real, but apparently after making agreements on the TV show, necessary due diligence is done before the deal is officially sealed.

But it’s all real. Real people, real businesses, real money. OK.

We’ll meet the Dragons in a moment, but first I have a vocab list here which I am going to go through in a kind of ramble, a business ramble. Luke’s Business Rambles – could be a good series…

I might briefly explain these terms as we go but my main focus is to try and put all these words into a rambling monologue about why an entrepreneur would need to raise finance for a new business. I plan to go over all of this in more detail in an upcoming premium episode.

Vocabulary

Let’s imagine that I have a new business. I’ve invented a pen that goes red or flashes when you make a grammar mistake. Let’s say there’s software you can download for it. It connects to your devices by Bluetooth and you can get different functions, but it’s like Grammarly in a pen.

Why would a startup need to raise finance?

  • Pay for stock, manufacturing costs, hire staff, find facilities, pay for marketing (how are you going to get people to know about it)

  • contacts for retail

  • dealing with a logistics chain

  • Business plan

  • Cost price

  • List price

  • Retail price (RRP)

  • Mark up

  • Margin

  • Profit (net and gross)

  • Manufacturers

  • Wholesalers

  • Retailers

  • B to B

  • B to C

  • SWOT analysis

  • Projected sales figures

  • Turnover

  • Projected turnover

  • Income

  • Revenue

  • Return on Investment (ROI)

  • Ask the bank for a loan

  • Get family to lend you money

  • Use a government scheme

  • Venture capitalists

  • Equity investors

  • Business angels

  • Pitch

  • Elevator pitch

  • Investment amount

  • equity/shares

  • stock/stocks

  • Negotiate

  • Patent (pending)

  • Competitors

  • Valuation of your company

  • “I’m out”

Meet The Dragons

Peter Jones
At age 16 he set up a tennis academy.
He now has a £250m empire in leisure, telecoms & media.

Deborah Meaden
Made millions in the holiday and leisure industriesShe sold a stake in her company in a £30m deal, while maintaining 23% of the company.

Duncan Bannatyne
From Glasgow. He’s worth over £170m.
He owns “Bannatyne’s” health clubs, casinos and hotels.

Theo Paphetis
He’s a retail specialist.
He takes failing companies and transforms them into thriving businesses – Partners, Ryman.

James Caan
Originally born in Pakistan, his family moved to the UK when he was 2.
Was initially successful in recruitment, setting up several high level recruitment companies which he then sold for large amounts of profit. He is also the founder and current CEO of the UK-based private equity firm Hamilton Bradshaw.

How it works

When the Dragons are interested in an investment they will say “I’m interested…” and will then make an offer.

The rules are that the entrepreneur must get the investment amount they are asking for, or more. The percentage equity stake is what is negotiated.

If a Dragon is not interested in the investment they will declare themselves out by saying “I’m out” and explaining their reason.

“I’m out” has become a sort of catchphrase that you can use in reference to the show.

Dragons’ Den Series 8 Episode 1 (also contains a brutal takedown of an entrepreneur [1st pitch] and an interesting exchange/argument in the wine pitch, with a v nervous presenter)

Kirsty Henshaw – Frozen Desserts

A part-time barmaid looking for investment in her food business.

Listen to the pitch from 44:00

  • How much investment does she need? £65,000
  • What equity stake is she offering in return? 15%
  • What exactly is the product? A healthy alternative to ice-cream – a frozen dessert (free from dairy, sugar, soya, nuts – everything! But what’s actually in it?)
  • Why does she need the investment? To buy stock, raise brand awareness with marketing and PR
  • Would you like to invest?
  • What questions would you like to ask next?

Kirsty’s pitch begins at 44:00

To be continued in part 2…

617. Sales and Advertising (with Paul Taylor)

A language-focused episode looking at words and phrases that you often see and hear in advertising and sales situations. Also includes discussion of sales techniques, Apple’s sales and marketing strategy and also a classic bit of stand-up by the late great George Carlin.

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Introduction Transcript

Hello dear listeners, how are you today?

Here is an episode with Paul all about the subject of advertising and sales, with a bit of marketing thrown in there too. So this is a language-focused episode looking at words and phrases that you often see and hear in advertising and sales situations. It also includes discussion of sales techniques, Apple’s sales and marketing strategy and also a classic bit of stand-up by the late great George Carlin.

The episode starts with a discussion between Paul and me about Paul’s experiences of working in sales jobs at Apple, including selling their products to customers on the shop floor and how Apple markets its products to people. Then we go through a big list of words and phrases relating to sales situations in various ways, including the typical things you might read on packaging, advertising or sales material. The list is pretty long but it all leads up to the comedy sketch at the end, which includes all the phrases. That comedy bit, by the way, does contain some very rude language, so there’s a heads up if that’s not your cup of tea.

So get your vocabulary learning hat on for this episode and also let’s get stuck into the topic of sales and advertising, with Paul.


Positive or Negative?

You’re interested in buying a new product (e.g. a fantastic portable tumbler, or some Southwest Pacific Air). You look at the sales literature for the item and see some of these phrases and conditions. Are they positive or negative?

all sales are final

allow six weeks for delivery

authentic

no purchase necessary

batteries not included

classic

convenient

economy

custom

deluxe

designer

luxury

each item sold separately

easy terms

affordable prices

experience

free installation

free admission

free appraisal

free alterations

free delivery

free estimates

free home trial

and free parking

no cash? no problem!

friendly service

genuine

imitation

gourmet

high-quality

hospitality

low rates

Leather / leather-style

limited time only

mileage may vary

money-back guarantee

name brands

no down payment

no entry fee

no fuss

no hidden charges

no kidding!

no mess

no risk

no obligation

no payments or interest until September

no one will call on you

no red tape

offer good while supplies last

order today

performance

premium

prestige

quality

savings

select

selection

send no money

service

so act now

some assembly required

some items not available

some restrictions may apply

style

two to a customer

value


Ending

So that was Sales and Advertising with Paul.

As usual, let me know your thoughts relating to this episode.

What do you think of sales and advertising?

Do you work in sales? Have you noticed any particular techniques or use of language that helps you sell things?

What do you think of adverts on TV or the way things are promoted to you on the internet?

How do you feel about clickbait? Do you ever click on those articles?

Do you think graffiti is ok in public places? How is that different to advertising in the sense that we don’t get any choice over what is displayed to us in public? What about drawing graffiti on advertising that’s in public spaces?

The subject of sales, advertising and marketing is a big one and I expect to come back to it on the podcast at some point because there’s loads of things we could do with that.

Business English is always something that I’ve saved and never done on the podcast. I was always planning to do a business English podcast or a business English course, but without calling it a business English course, because people don’t seem to like the word business. It sounds all heavy and dark, like the dark side or the Death Star or something. But English in professional situations is really interesting and I’m talking about things like how we negotiate, how we deal with being diplomatic in meetings, how we do presentations and socialise with people. I was actually working on a business course and have loads of unfinished material for it. I must go back to that but in the meantime I might dip into some more businessy subjects in the future. We will see. But let me know about your interest in business English and if you’d like to learn the ways of the dark side and fulfil your destiny and all that stuff.

But for now, it’s pretty much time for the end of the episode. Thank you for listening as usual.

If the spirit moves you, you could leave me a lovely lovely review on iTunes or apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Getting positive reviews helps to promote my podcast on those platforms. It’s more likely to end up in recommended selections and things like that, so it helps the podcast a great deal.

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You’ve been listening to Luke’s English Podcast and until next time, good bye  bye bye bye…


Simon Sinek – Start With Why

Adam & Joe – Free Stuff

George Carlin’s Advertising Lullaby

Advertising Lullaby – Lyrics

Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience
Economy, savings, performance, experience, hospitality
Low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms
Affordable prices, money-back guarantee

Free installation, free admission, free appraisal, free alterations
Free delivery, free estimates, free home trial, and free parking

No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss
No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment
No entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary
No one will call on you, no payments or interest till September

Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money
Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately
Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final
Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available
Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply

So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation
With our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced and
Knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a
Selection that’s just right for you and just right for your budget

And say, don’t forget to pick up your free gift: a classic deluxe
Custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select
Gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking
No purchase necessary. It’s our way of saying thank you

And if you act now, we’ll include an extra added free complimentary
Bonus gift at no cost to you: a classic deluxe custom designer
Luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet combination
Key ring, magnifying glass, and garden hose, in a genuine
Imitation leather-style carrying case with authentic vinyl trim
Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It’s our way of
Saying thank you

Actually, it’s our way of saying ‘Bend over just a little farther
So we can stick this big advertising dick up your ass a little bit
Deeper, a little bit deeper, a little bit DEEPER, you miserable
No-good dumbass fucking consumer!’