Category Archives: Vocabulary

890. The Simulation (Learn English with a Short Story)

Learn English with a short story. This one is about a man called Edward, who lives an ordinary stress-free life in London, until one day he notices something extraordinary while walking to work, and his world is never the same again. Follow the story, and then let me explain some vocabulary to you. To practise your pronunciation, consider repeating the lines of the story after me.

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The Simulation


As the grey light of dawn filtered through the curtains,

Edward Wilson stirred in his bed.

To filter through – phrasal verb

The sunlight came through the windows and the curtains acted like a filter. The sun was less bright (describes a texture or certain look)

Other examples
This water is pure and clear, having been filtered through layers of rock and sand
In Van Gogh’s paintings, the world is filtered through his unique perception of the world, resulting in a unique style

Air – filtered through a purifier

To stir = move slightly (like a person or an animal waking up)
(also stir meaning mix a drink – homonym)


His hazel eyes blinked open, and he yawned, stretching his lean frame.

Hazel – eye colour (brownish green with some amber or gold)
Most common eye colours: Brown, blue, hazel (includes amber), green, grey
Lean = (adj) thin, but healthy – without a lot of fat We also use lean for business processes – meaning efficient and without waste
Frame = his body, especially with reference to his size or build (in this case – lean)


The pale sunlight streamed across the perfectly clean sheets of his bed, and across his spotless floor.

To stream across
To
stream = when air, light, liquid or gas flows out continuously
A stream = a continuous flow of liquid, air, or gas.
“Jane blew out a stream of smoke”
To shine across but in streams
(shafts of light, rays of light, beams of light, streams of light)
The light shone, beamed, streamed out/down/across/in etc
Streams of water. To stream music or movies.

Spotless = perfectly clean
“I want that car to be completely spotless by the time I get back – I want to be able to see my own reflection in the roof of it” “But it’s a convertible!” etc


He moved back the curtains, pulled open his window blind and stood, squinting at the silent city below his window.

Window blinds

Roller blinds, venetian blinds (in slats), Roman blinds (fold as you raise them), electric blinds
shutters (on the outside) curtains (we know)

To squint = To look with your eyes partly closed because you are trying to block out light (like me in the Walk & Talk Paris episode)


Another day in the sprawling metropolis of London awaited him, or so he thought.

Sprawling = spreading out far and wide in a haphazard fashion (in a disorganised or random way) like the way a city does

It could also be:
things in nature (a forest or desert)
A sprawling story
A sprawling universe
Anything that spreads out large and wide

A metropolis = a very large city, particularly a huge capital city

Awaited him = waited for him (a more formal/literary style – sometimes more formal language is used in literature to create a more serious tone)


Edward was a software engineer, working diligently at a prestigious tech firm in the city.

To work diligently / to be diligent = to work hard, with a lot of care and attention
Prestigious = high status, a lot of people respect it or think it’s good – a top, high level company
A tech firm = a technology company (probably software systems, or AI or something like that)
A firm = a type of company
A law firm, a tech firm, an investment firm


His life was a predictable routine of coding, coffee, and occasional nights out with friends.

Predictable = you know what is going to happen because it’s always the same – easy to predict (and therefore boring)
A routine = the things which you always do, every time (describe Edward’s routine)


His days were ordered, tidy, and conveniently empty.

Ordered = everything arranged in a certain way, things are put in a clear structure or arrangement – no mess
Organised is a synonym, but ordered suggests that things are neat, tidy, structured with no mess
Conveniently empty – empty – nothing in them – no serious commitments.
This is convenient because it makes life easier for him.


He wasn’t troubled too much by anxiety or stress, despite his demanding job, and the busy pace of life in the city.

To be troubled by something / bothered / inconvenienced (that’s less strong)
A demanding job = a job that demands a lot from you (asks you to do a lot of things) – hard work, energy, commitment, time, mental load (a demanding job is a difficult job)
Pace of life = speed of life


He had no specific emotional ties or commitments.

Ties = things that attach you or limit your freedom in some way
Things that tie you down → girlfriend, wife, kids
Ties or commitments (these are synonyms)
(it’s not uncommon to have several synonymous words used together for emphasis or style)


He was free to live how he wanted, spending his free time exactly as he pleased.
However, there had always been a certain feeling in the back of Edward’s mind, a sense that something in his life was not quite right.

In the back of your mind = it refers to thoughts or feelings which are there but you don’t think about them directly or clearly, not dominating your thoughts.

They’re there in the background and might give you a certain general feeling in your life. They might influence the way you think or behave.
For Edward, although life seems ordered and fine, something is still not quite right.


Something was missing.

One brisk autumn morning, as Edward was strolling along the Thames Embankment on his way to work, he noticed something unusual.

Brisk = bright, energetic, fast paced, lively, fresh.
A brisk morning
A brisk walk
Strolling = walking in a fairly relaxed way


An object hung in the air above the pavement up ahead.

Hang – hung – hung
Was suspended (somehow) – just in the air
The pavement (UK) – the sidewalk (US)


Edward walked on for a closer look.

To walk on = to continue walking
“On” is sometimes added to a verb to mean “continue doing it”
To move on
To drive on
To carry on
To talk on
To read on
To ramble on
To dream on

A seagull was frozen mid-flight, suspended in the sky like a photograph.

A seagull (or just gull) is a type of bird that often lives near the sea (but sometimes in land too – often near water)
You often see them at the beach
They can be seen in London, particularly by the river
Mid-flight = in the middle of flying (an adverb to modify the adjective “frozen”)


Pedestrians around Edward seemed oblivious as they hurried on, engrossed in their conversations or with their faces locked to their phones.

Pedestrians = people walking
Oblivious = with no idea that something is happening
To hurry on = to move on in a hurry
To be engrossed in something = completely involved in it, completely focused on it and not aware of other things
Engrossed in a book / engrossed in an episode of LEP (take care when driving and operating heavy machinery)


Edward reached out to touch the frozen seagull, but it vanished in front of his eyes.

Reached out = stretched his arm to touch the bird
Adding OUT emphasises that he has to reach his arm quite far away


Edward snapped his hand back suddenly, and stared at the spot where the seagull had been, just seconds earlier.

Snapped his hand back = moved his hand back very quickly
Snap = a very fast, sudden movement
A crocodile snaps its jaws
It also refers to something breaking and making a sound (I snapped my pencil, a stepped on a piece of wood and it snapped)
In all cases it refers to quick, sudden movement


He glanced around, to see if anyone else had noticed.

He looked around quickly in different directions.
Glance = look quickly
Glance around = in different directions


But nobody was watching. The world around him seemed utterly normal.

Utterly = completely
They’re synonyms – but “utterly” expresses a slightly more extreme feeling.
It’s more emphatic
That was utterly boring
That was utterly disgusting
That film was utterly ridiculous

…and yet for Edward, things would never be the same again.

Slowly, a strange feeling came over him.

A feeling comes over you = the feeling gradually arrives, you gradually start to feel something
A feeling of tiredness came over me.
Nervousness came over me.
A feeling of excitement came over me.


He felt a shiver run down the length of his spine as he remembered a quote from a famous physicist –
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”


A shiver = a cold feeling that makes you feel uncomfortable / when your body shakes probably because it’s cold or you’re afraid
To run down the length of his spine = this shiver moved from one end of his spine to the other
Length, width, height, depth
Merely = only, just, no more than (we use it to say something is not that important)
“He’s not important. He’s merely a English language podcaster. He doesn’t pose a threat to us.”
Albeit – this is like “but”, “although” or “even though” but it is followed by a noun, adjective or adverbial phrase, but not a clause with a verb in it. It means “although it is”.
Although is followed by a clause with a verb:
Reality is an illusion, although it is a very persistent one.
Albeit, isn’t
Reality is an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The music was great, although it was a little loud for my tastes.
The music was great, albeit a little loud for my tastes.
Why use it? It gives a slightly more sophisticated literary style.


Edward spent the day working in his usual focused way.

He didn’t mention the bizarre frozen seagull to any of his colleagues, but his curiosity was piqued and that evening he decided to delve deeper.

To pique something (works with fixed expressions)
Fixed expressions
To pique your interest
To pique your curiosity
The title of the episode really piqued my interest
It aroused or stimulated my interest.
It’s not peak (high point) or peek (a quick look) (homophones)

To delve into something (to look/search deeply into something)
To delve deeper (to investigate more profoundly) search for more information


He started by searching online for the quote he had remembered which led him down a rabbit hole of philosophy, quantum physics, virtual reality, and artificial intelligence.

Down a rabbit hole
Like in Alice in Wonderland, when she follows a rabbit down a hole and gets lost.
Going down a rabbit hole means getting very interested in a specific topic and reading about it, researching it and getting lost in the subject.
E.g. if you believe that the earth is flat, you might go down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories about it, reading more and more things and sort of getting deeply obsessed with it
In this case, Edward goes down a rabbit hole of philosophy, and physics related to virtual reality and quantum science (in order to investigate what he has seen)


He searched for sightings of similar anomalies, witness accounts and stories from other people like him.

A sighting – when someone sees something (UFO sightings, ghost sightings)
Anomalies – things which are not normal, not expected – in this case, apparent “glitches” in reality.


He got lost in that rabbit hole for months, as the world moved around him, normal life passing him by.

To pass you by = to go past without stopping
I stood by the side of the road and watched the parade of musicians passing me by.
Focusing on my studies (or being a housewife) means I haven’t lived a full life! So many opportunities have passed me by!


Every day was the same.

The busy world of work and commuting, somehow softened by that pale London sunlight.

Commuting = travelling from home to work (when you live in a different place to where you work)
To commute
A commute
A commuter
A commuter train


But in the evenings, and at night time, he studied.

The more he learned, the more convinced he became that his world, his life, was not actually real. It was just some sort of illusion.

Every day, the world around him – the people at work, the office spaces and lunchtime cafes, the passers-by in the street – everything became less and less convincing.

A passerby (one word) is a person who walks past you, or passes you by in the street
The plural can be passersby (one word) or hyphenated passers-by
Not ❌ passerbys and not passersbys ❌


Edward began to feel trapped. Like a prisoner inside a huge trick.

One evening, as he stared into the glow of his computer screen, Edward received an unexpected email.

Glow = the light which comes out from his screen
The glow of a fire
The glow of a screen
The glow of the city lights

The sender’s name was ‘Seraphina’.

The message was mysterious and intriguing:

“Meet me at Westminster Bridge, at midnight.”

it read.

Intriguing = very interesting because it is unusual or mysterious
An intriguing question
She has an intriguing personality
An intriguing fact


The invitation, the name, the sudden yearning for human connection – it leapt into Edward’s heart.

To yearn = to have an intense feeling of longing or desire for something, especially something you can’t have. It has romantic or emotional connotations.
Yearning for human connection
Yearning for love
Yearning for solitude
Yearning to travel the world
Yearning for a simple life in the countryside
Yearn for something / yearn to do something

To leap = to jump quickly and quite a large distance
Leap – leapt – leapt
A tiger would leap at an animal it wanted to attack
To leap into – We we were driving through the safari park, a leopard leapt into the car!
Fear leapt into my heart


He knew it could be a scam, but he just couldn’t resist the temptation.

A scam = a trick to deceive someone, usually in order to steal their money
You get a message on your computer saying that there is a security problem and a data breach and you need to download certain software, or to give your bank details to pay for someone to repair your computer.
It’s a scam because either it’s fake and they just want your money, or because they want to get access to your bank account.

Scam emails – asking for you to send your personal information because they have money to give to you.
Often the email looks like an invoice – it says “Please find attached your invoice for $568. Let us know if any information is missing.”
but it’s a phishing scam designed to make you download the attached file, which actually contains some sort of malware which hacks your computer.

In this case, Edward is worried that it’s a scam and someone just wants to rob him.


He arrived at the bridge at the stroke of midnight, the imposing Big Ben looming out of the shadows above him.

At the stroke of midnight = when the clock “strokes” midnight – when the hand of the clock touches 12
When the clock strikes 12 (this means a bell ringing or chiming at 12 o’clock)

To loom (over/above/out)
If something looms – it’s a large object or thing, which appears in a threatening way – often over you or above you.
A building looms out of the shadows.
A huge ship loomed above us.
Clouds loomed over us in the sky.
A huge monster loomed over us.
The mountains loomed in the distance.

In the story, Big Ben (actually the Tower of Westminster) looms out of the shadows – creating a scary atmosphere.


The streets were deserted, and the moon cast eerie shapes on the ground in the half light.

Deserted – nobody there
Cast – projected, sent out (broadcast, podcast)
Eerie – strange and a bit creepy, scary or unsettling
Eerie music played during the horror film
An eerie atmosphere in the church at night
The moon cast Eerie shapes – the moonlight projected strange, scary shapes on the ground)


As he waited, the tower’s chimes resonated through the night, and he turned to see a woman emerging from the shadows.

Chimes – the sound of a bell
Resonated – when sounds carry through the air, ring out, reverberate
Sounds can resonate – the sound carries or continues
Things can resonate with you – meaning they have an emotional impact – you feel the emotional resonance (vibration) of it.
Luke, your story really resonated with me. I felt similar to the main character. I was able to identify with him.
To emerge = to come out


Seraphina appeared to Edward like an enigma, her features shrouded in darkness.

An enigma = a mystery or puzzle that you have to work out
Someone’s features = the shape or characteristics of their face or body – the way their face or body looks
Strong features, soft features.

To be shrouded in darkness
A shroud is like a long cloth that might wrap around your body and head, protecting you.
In this case, Seraphina appears shrouded in darkness.
The darkness covers her body. Maybe she is wearing a dark coat and a hood. Maybe she is standing in the shadow of the tower or trees. Edward can’t see clearly what she looks like.


“You’re Edward, the one who’s been searching for answers,” she said.

Edward nodded. “Yes, I am”.
He paused
“… and you are?”


To nod your head
What’s the opposite?
to shake your head


“Call me Seraphina. I’ve been watching you, Edward. I believe you’re right, about this world.”

Her eyes met Edward’s. She paused.

Edward’s heart raced.

“What do you want from me?” he said.

“I need your help, Edward. We need your help” Seraphina replied.

“What are you talking about?” said Edward.

“Edward. You are not alone. There are others. We’re forming a resistance. We want to break free from all this and uncover the truth behind what’s really going on.”

Edward paused.

“What, like in The Matrix?” he said.

“Don’t mention that” whispered Seraphina, glancing away for a moment.

She turned back to Edward.
“Look. Just join us” she said.
“We need someone like you. With your skills.”

Edward hesitated but found himself drawn to Seraphina.

If you are drawn to someone, you feel like you are moving towards them, like you’re being pulled in their direction.


For once, things didn’t seem so ordered, and empty.

Ordered – neatly organised, tidy


“Wait” said Edward.
“One question.
Are you… real?”

“Yes. I am real.” said Seraphina, resolutely.

Resolutely = done with firm determination, with strong resolve
She said this with strength, integrity, courage and self-assuredness.
She’s definitely telling the truth and she means it.

Edward paused.

“But how can I be sure?”

He said.

“Well” Seraphina replied.
“You’ll just have to take my word for it, won’t you?

Now, will you join us Edward?”


You’ll just have to take my word for it
= you’ll just have to believe what I say, without further proof or evidence.
I can’t prove it with evidence, so you will just have to take my word for it – you’ll just have to believe what I say.

Edward stood still, his mind turning.

He glanced at Seraphina again.

“OK. I’ll help” he said.
“But how?”

In her hand Seraphina held a small, unassuming device.

Unassuming = doesn’t look very special. Modest, Humble.
Ordinary looking.


“This is a disruptor. It can manipulate the fabric of our world, of… the simulation.”

A disruptor is something that disrupts things – to interrupt or disturb.
To stop something from working normally. Stops a system, process or event from working normally.
The traffic was disrupted by an accident.
The the government’s website was disrupted by a hacker, who wanted to cause problems, as a protest.
This disruptor probably disrupts the simulation, somehow. (conveniently this is unexplained but you just have to go along with it)

To manipulate something = to control it
The fabric of our world / the fabric of time / the fabric of space
Fabric literally means a kind of woven material, like wool or cotton.
The fabric of space/time/reality/our world = our world is like a fabric made up of lots of strands woven together
It means “the structure of our world”


“The what?” Edward interrupted.
“What did you call it?”

“There’s no time to explain, Edward, but I think you know, don’t you?”
Seraphina continued.

“Edward. You have skills that I don’t have, ok?
I need you to locate the core, the central computer that controls our world, and disrupt it, with this.”

She held the device out to him.

“So? Are you in? Will you come with me?

Edward took one look into Seraphina’s dark eyes and felt himself hurtling through time.

Hurtling = moving at a very fast speed, in a slightly uncontrolled way


He nodded resolutely. “OK”

Done with firm determination


Together, they embarked on a journey that would challenge everything Edward knew about his so-called reality.

To embark on a journey (formal, literary – to set off, to start a journey)
So-called ← we use this to say that people call it this, but we are skeptical about it, and want to question it
“The so-called expert couldn’t answer basic questions about the subject.”
“Her so-called friends abandoned her when she needed them most.”


They visited hidden pockets of the city – places that he had never noticed before.

Pockets of something = small isolated places or groups of things (in this case – hidden ones)
Pockets of civilisation in the wilderness
Pockets of wealth in an otherwise poor country
Hidden pockets of the city


Doorways he had passed without a second glance

Without looking at / without noticing / without checking again / without thinking about
“She’d always walked past him without a second glance – assuming there was nothing interesting about him at all”


Dark corners where walls left gaps into vast undiscovered chambers and corridors,

Gaps – empty spaces
Vast – huge, massive, enormous, gigantic
Undiscovered – nobody had discovered them before
Chambers – huge rooms, or caves


shadows under trees which revealed themselves to be the mouths of unseen tunnels, all leading to the underworld.

The mouth of a tunnel


Here they met others who had also seen through the reality of the simulation, each with their own stories to tell.

To see through something
= to see something as it really is, to see beyond the way it looks on the surface

Over time, Edward and Seraphina grew closer.

As Edward’s love for Seraphina blossomed amidst the chaos of their quest, he felt a growing sense of purpose.

Blossomed = developed, grew, like blossom (on a tree)
Describes something growing and in bloom (with flowers growing)
Amidst = in the middle of
Chaos = total disorder, a situation where everything is completely confusing and disorganised
A sense of purpose = purpose = a reason why something is done = a sense of purpose is the feeling that there is a reason or objective for what you are doing
You understand the purpose of it, you understand why you are doing it


It was a love forged in the belief that they were both fighting for the ultimate truth – the chance to live a human life, in the real world.

To forge something = to make it from metal, using a lot of heat
This is a metaphor, meaning to make something with a lot of work and time
“We forged a strong friendship while travelling together, or while working together”
Passive: “Our friendship was forged on the battlefield”
Sounds literary and quite impressive, dramatic


But their journey was not without peril.

Peril = danger / a situation in which there is a lot of risk or threat of harm
To face the peril of crossing the street in Hanoi as a tourist.
Climbing to the top of the mountain involves great peril as you have to walk along very narrow paths and climb up vertical cliffs

On their way, they encountered those who guarded the simulation, and who had been watching them

To encounter someone or something = meet, come across
On our walk through the forest we encountered a bear with its cubs.
The bear saw us as a threat and attacked us, and we died. 🤷
Those” = the people / those people
Again – literary style
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious
anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers
And you will know
My name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee! (Pulp Fiction / The Bible)

There are those who disapprove of all forms of gambling.
Those who saw the performance thought it memorable.


Formidable adversaries programmed to maintain the illusion of reality.

Formidable – strong, big, powerful – inspires fear, respect, awe – like a big, powerful warrior which you have to fight against
An adversary = someone you have to fight against, an opponent or enemy
Not just used for battles – could be for legal cases, sporting competitions etc
Adversarial (adj)
Strong enemies


Fierce battles ensued, sometimes beyond the confines of normal life, blending the lines between digital hallucination and tangible reality.

Fierce = very aggressive, intense, violent
Often for dangerous wild animals “The fierce lion roared, displaying its dominance over the territory.”
But other things too “Fierce winds battered the ship throughout the night”, or “Fierce battles took place”
Ensued = happened after, followed – happened as a result
Beyond the confines = outside the limits – in this case (on the edge of normal life, or on the edge of reality/the normal world)
Blending the lines = making the lines less clear (the lines between reality and a digital simulation)
A hallucination = things that you see or har which aren’t there – like if someone has taken a drug or is mentally ill
Digital hallucinations = somehow caused by digital code (I don’t understand how that could work)
Tangible = something that can be touched, felt and is therefore real and not imaginary or abstract
Tangible evidence of fraud
Tangible improvements in productivity
Tangible assets = physical assets that a company owns – e.g. buildings or machinery (as opposed to intangible things like debt owed to the company)


One moonlit night, Edward and Seraphina faced their most formidable adversary yet,

Moonlit = lit by the moon (to light – lit – lit)


a towering figure cloaked in shimmering pixels and black light, barring their way.

Towering = very tall, like the Tower of Westminster
Cloaked = wrapped in some kind of large material (a cloak) synonym of “shrouded”
Shimmering = shining and glittering
Pixels = individual units of light used in computer displays
Black light = a kind of ultraviolet light which is invisible to the human eye
Barring – to bar – barred – barred = to block someone from going somewhere
He was barred from entering
A car barred the way.
They were barred from the competition for cheating.


Edward activated the disruptor.

The world around them trembled, and the guardian faltered.

Trembled – shook slightly
Faltered – hesitated or stumbled (he lost his balance, fell slightly, stopped, was disrupted)


Seraphina seized the moment and struck a decisive blow, shattering the guardian’s code into fragments.

Seized = grabbed / took (normally take or grab with your hands, but you can also seize a moment, seize the day)
Strike a blow = strike = hit, a blow = an impact (she hit him or kicked him)
Shattering = breakinging into many little pieces (fragments)
Like if you drop a pint glass out of a window, or if you drop a big piece of glass on the ground, or if you do a roundhouse kick to a formidable warrior made of pixels in a digital simulation


With the guardian defeated, they pressed on, beyond the city limits, following a faint signal emanating from the disruptor in Edward’s hands.

Press on = keep going with some difficulty, like on a tough journey
Faint = weak (faint signal, faint sound, faint writing)
Emanating = coming from, coming out from (coming from a point of origin)
Resonate = vibrating through (the chimes of big ben resonated through the streets, the sound emanated from the bell in the tower)


It led them deep into the industrial wastelands on the far outskirts of the city, to a seemingly ordinary building.

Wastelands = areas where things used to happen but not any more – there are old things lying around, everything is old and damaged and wasted
Industrial wastelands = areas that used to be used for industrial activity (factories, warehouses) but now are unused
The outskirts = the areas on the edge of the city
Outskirts vs suburbs
Suburbs = residential areas around the outside the city (often nice places where there’s a bit more space and lots of homes)
Outskirts = also areas around the city, but the very edge, where the city becomes more rural – less populated, might include unpopulated areas


Inside, they found an unassuming room with one single computer terminal.

Unassuming = looks normal, not special, ordinary no reason to believe there’s any danger


A single cursor blinked on the screen.

Cursor = the little thing that blinks on a screen, showing where you can type. You move it with the mouse or trackpad, or with the keyboard


Edward approached the terminal, his hands trembling with anticipation.

Trembling = shaking slightly
Anticipation = with expectation of what’s going to come, getting ready for what’s coming


As he connected the disruptor, the room seemed to ripple, revealing its true nature.

Ripple = move in waves, like the surface of water (e.g. a calm pond if you throw in a small stone – the pond ripples)


It was a control centre, the hub of the simulation.

Hub = central point where things are all connected together
An internet hub = a kind of router where all the computers are connected to the internet
A transport hub = a place where lots of transport systems all meet (like Heathrow Airport or St Pancras station)
In this case – it was the central control centre for the simulation, and where all branches of the simulation were connected (or something)


The screen displayed a message:

“Welcome, Edward Wilson. You have come far. But do you really want to know the truth?”

Edward hesitated, his mind racing with doubts and fears.

He glanced at Seraphina who nodded encouragingly.

With determination, he typed a single word, “Yes.”

Instantly, the simulation began to unravel.

Unravel = come apart into different strands
If you have a woolen sweater, with one loose piece of wool. Pull it and the whole sweater will unravel.
The strands of the fabric will come apart.
If you have wound up some string and it all comes apart.


The cityscape dissolved into streams of code, and Edward and Seraphina found themselves standing in a vast, featureless void.

Dissolved = something solid turned into lots of tiny particles and disappeared
Dissolve some aspirin in water
The cityscape = the landscape of the city – turned into lots of tiny streams and disappeared
Vast – huge, massive, enormous, gigantic
Featureless = with no features, blank, empty
Void = a space with nothing in it at all (like a vacuum)
The world around them slowly disappeared leaving them in a completely blank, empty space

Edward looked at Seraphina.
“That was too easy”, he said.

Suddenly, the sound of a voice echoed around them, a voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere.

Echoed = The sound bounced around and repeated (like when you shout in a tall stairwell or in a large stone room with a high ceiling, or a cave)
To echo / an echo
There’s an echo on the line. Your voice is echoing.


“Congratulations, Edward Wilson. You have chosen the path of truth.

But remember, reality is a complex tapestry,
and the threads of your existence are intertwined with the lives of countless others.”


A complex tapestry
A tapestry is a kind of work of art made from many threads of material – often making a large picture (a bit like a curtain or a carpet)
You start with a kind of mesh, and attach lots of threads of cotton or wool of different colours, making designs or a picture
Reality is a complex tapestry with many threads of existence all woven together.
Intertwined = the threads are all attached or wrapped up together – all connected
(like the cables of your headphones when you leave them in your pocket – tangled, but intertwined suggests something more organised)
Countless others = so many other people that you can’t count them
In real life your existence is connected very closely to millions of other people – you don’t live alone, but everything you do affects people around you.
Edward lived a sort of convenient isolated life in the simulation, but it’s not like that in the real world. It’s more complicated.


“Life in reality is neither simple nor easy. You must always choose, and choose wisely, for yourself, and for others.”

“What’s he talking about?” said Edward, turning to Seraphina.

But all of a sudden Seraphina seemed to slip away from him.

Slip away – move away gradually, as if she was standing on an icy hill and started sliding back


In the next few moments, Edward felt a profound sense of disorientation as his memories and experiences shifted and merged with the things around him.

Profound = deep and strong
Disorientation = confusion – not knowing where you are, which direction you are in, up, down, left, right – lost and confused.
Shifted = moved, changed position
Merged = combined or mixed together
(mergers and acquisitions)

(he’s coming out of the simulation)

He saw glimpses of different lives, different choices, all part of the intricate tapestry of the simulation.

Glimpses = quick looks
Catch a glimpse of something
To glimpse something
To glance at something
To glance around, etc


He saw himself and Seraphina living different, separate lives, never meeting, never knowing each other.

Panicking, Edward shouted for it to stop.

Then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the void collapsed, and Edward and Seraphina finally found themselves back in the real world, or so it seemed.

They stood on a hill overlooking the city, bathed in the warm light of dawn.

Overlooking = above, in a higher position where you can see the whole thing
My apartment overlooks a junction
My balcony overlooks the park
This hill overlooks the city (Primrose Hill in London)
Bathed – covered in light (bathe means lie in water, but also cover something in a warm light)
Dawn – the sunrise
Dusk – the sunset


The cityscape was familiar, yet subtly different.

The cityscape = the Landscape of the city
Subtle = with very slight details, nuanced
Subtly different → different in ways which are not completely obvious, small differences


Seraphina turned to Edward, a knowing smile on her lips.

A knowing smile = a smile which shows that the person knows something
In this case – she knows that they did it. They escaped the simulation, or ended it.


“Welcome to the real world, Edward,” she said. “We made it”.

We made it (doesn’t mean we created it) it means “We did it!”
“We were successful – we managed to arrive somewhere”
We’re late, but we made it! It took a long time but we made it in the end.
We’ll never make it at this rate.


Edward gazed at the transformed city, a sense of awe and wonder filling his heart.

Gazed = Looked at something with wonder (differnt to just “stare” – gaze is with a look of wonder or amazement)
A sense of awe (wow – this is awesome) when something is breathtaking, incredible,
A sense of wonder

The love he felt for Seraphina was real, and the truth they had uncovered was the most exhilarating adventure of his life.

Uncovered = Revealed
Exhilerating = Exciting and intense (like a rollercoaster ride)


As they embraced, the sun rose over the horizon, casting its golden rays upon a world that was now truly their own.

Embraced = held each other in their arms (hug, cuddle, difference?)
Embraced is more formal, literary, dramatic sounding. Hug sounds like what you do when you see your grandma.
Cuddle is what you do with a teddy bear on the sofa – lasts longer.


“You see?” said Seraphina.

“See what?” said Edward.

“I am real”

She said.

A smile arrived on Edward’s face.

And as Seraphina smiled too, he kissed her lips, and she kissed him back.

And that was when the explosions began.

What does the ending of the story mean to you?

887. Walk & Talk: Health & Diet (Phrasal Verbs)

Join me as I take a walk along the embankment of the river Seine from Louvre to Pont Marie in the centre of Paris. This time the topic is health and diet. Watch out for the phrasal verbs I use during my ramble!

[DOWNLOAD AUDIO]

Coming soon to LEP Premium – all the phrasal verbs (+more) in this episode, explained, with practice exercises & pronunciation drills!

Sign up here 👉 www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium

Discussion Questions – Health & Diet

  1. Do you do exercise or work out in the gym to stay healthy?
  2. Can you share some tips on how to cut down on unhealthy food in your diet?
  3. Have you ever tried giving up a certain kind of food? What was it and how did you manage it?
  4. What are some effective ways to burn off extra calories without going to the gym?
  5. Do you always manage to stick to a healthy eating routine when dining out with friends?
  6. Have you ever experienced a situation where you had to cut back on certain foods for health reasons? Have you decided to cut anything out completely from your diet?
  7. What strategies do you use to fight off cravings for unhealthy foods?
  8. What role do you think is played by genetics our overall health and well-being?
  9. Did the pandemic change your daily routines and affect your health in any way?
  10. Can you share any tips on how to squeeze in forms of exercise during a busy day?
  11. How do you deal with stress, and does it impact your eating habits?
  12. Have you ever had to give in to a food craving and then regretted it later?
  13. Do you have a pet? Does it help to reduce your stress levels, or just make them worse?
  14. Do you manage to get enough sleep? Do you have any tips for getting a good night’s sleep? How do you wind down before bedtime to promote a good night’s sleep?
  15. Have you ever tried cutting back on caffeine intake to improve your sleep quality?
  16. How do you balance out work responsibilities with personal activities for a healthier work-life balance?
  17. Living in (or near) Paris do you often manage to get outside and into nature very often?
  18. Have you ever considered going vegan?
  19. Do you do any brain training exercises or puzzles to keep your mind sharp? How do you fit them into your daily routine?
  20. How’s your screen time? Do you think you have to cut down on screen time before bedtime to improve sleep quality?

882. 47 “Funny” Country Jokes, Explained | Learn English with Humour

Here’s a list of jokes about different countries which I found on the website Bored Panda. I’ll tell you the jokes and then explain them all (dissecting the frog), including any homophones, double meanings or specific cultural references. Can you “get” the jokes? Do you find any of them funny, or are they all just terrible dad jokes? And, what vocabulary can you learn in the process? Includes a vocabulary review at the end of the episode.

[DOWNLOAD AUDIO]

https://youtu.be/5RfpkxoCmwg?si=AELKZPOF8e8-4_JI

Notes

In this episode we’re going to read some jokes about different countries in the world, and I’m going to use them to help you learn English.

They’re not really jokes about countries. They’re mainly just jokes based on the country names. So I won’t be making fun of specific countries or anything.

I’ve found a list of 100 jokes.

Jokes like these…

👍

#12

Which country’s capital city is growing the fastest?

Ireland

Because every day it’s Dublin.

doubling??

  • Some of these jokes are very stupid.
  • Some of them are terrible.
  • But some of them are actually pretty funny 😅

This is all just a bit of fun, but also it’s a chance to learn some vocabulary.

Before we continue, I need to make several jokes about my country: The UK

A map of the UK

It’s just there, under that huge rain storm.

More specifically, England

Football

What do you call an English man in the World Cup final?

The referee.

British Food

Well, this is how our biscuits are sold in France  

C’est Anglais, mais c’est bon !

Translation: 

It’s English, but it’s good.

*Actually they’re Scottish

*Actually the company is owned by a Turkish confectionery conglomerate

And I’m sure you could write plenty of jokes about our Royal Family…

But you don’t really need to

Subtext: They’re already quite funny aren’t they?

I don’t mean to be rude about our king, but apparently he has a sense of humour, so I’m sure he doesn’t mind. 

cheers

Can you understand these jokes? 

If you understand a joke you can say 

“I get it”

If you don’t understand why it’s supposed to be funny, you’d say

“I don’t get it”

If you understand it, but you think it isn’t funny, you can just groan

🤦

There will be VOCABULARY

I will explain every joke that you hear in this episode, including

  • any double meanings 
  • any homophones (words which sound the same but which are different) 
  • or any other little cultural details  

I have only had 

a very quick look 

at this list of jokes. 

I found this joke list on the website BoredPanda.com. There are 100 jokes in the list, but I’ve only seen about the first 15 jokes.

I haven’t seen the rest.  

So I am going to be reading most of these for the first time, so let’s discover these jokes together. 

Disclaimer: 

This might not be funny 

at all 😐

It’s necessary to say this again…

I will dissect these jokes. You might learn some English, 

but the jokes will probably die in the process. 

Sorry jokes, and sorry frogs. 

🐸

But don’t worry. No actual frogs will be harmed during the making of this episode.

And when I say “frogs” I’m not talking about French people 🇫🇷

“Dissecting the frog” or explaining jokes is something I’ve been doing on this podcast for years. 

by a listener called Evgenia

a T-shirt design by a listener called Adel (available in my merch store 

– the t-shirt I mean) 

www.teacherluke.co.uk/merch 

Click here to see this design in my merch store.

Let’s keep reading jokes until nobody can take it any more.

I’ll tell about 5 jokes, then I’ll explain them, and then I’ll continue with more jokes…

Click here for the joke list👇👇👇👇👇

100 Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust | Bored Panda

The Jokes (it’s a mixed bag)

  1. England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
  2. A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
    These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
  3. A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies, “I didn’t think you needed one to get into Australia anymore.”
  4. One day Canada will rule the world…
    Then you’ll all be sorry.
  5. What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
    I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
  6. Why do the French eat snails?
    They don’t like fast food.
  7. Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France. Just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
  8. I asked my friend in North Korea how he was.
    He said he can’t complain.
  9. Germany and France go to war. Who loses?
    Belgium.
  10. What do you call a vegan Viking?
    A Norvegan!
  11. How do you get a Canadian to apologize?
    Step on their foot.
  12. Which country’s capital is growing the fastest?
    Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
  13. What does the Loch Ness monster eat?
    Fish and ships.
  14. Want to hear a Swedish joke?
    Never mind. There’s Norway I could Finnish it.
  15. What do frogs eat in Paris?
    French flies.
  16. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman enter a bar.
    The Englishmen wanted to go, so they all had to leave.
  17. What do you call a bee that lives in America?
    A USB.
  18. Why haven’t Americans changed their weighing method from pounds to kilograms?
    Because they don’t want mass confusion!
  19. How does every Russian joke start?
    By looking over your shoulder.
  20. I have a Russian friend who’s a sound technician.
    And a Czech one too. A Czech one too.
  21. What kind of birds can you find in Portugal?
    Portugeese.
  22. What was the most popular kids’ movie in Ancient Greece?
    Troy Story.
  23. What is the most common scam in Egypt?
    Pyramid schemes.
  24. What happened to the American who went to the hospital with a broken leg?
    He went broke.
  25. In which country is Prague located?
    Hold on let me Czech.
  26. Is “Africa” by Toto a country song?
    No, it’s a continent song.
  27. What did the Kiwi say to the Rabbi?
    Hee Broo.
  28. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
    He pasta way.
  29. Germany once organized the International Fun Conference.
    It wasn’t funny but it was indeed well organized.
  30. Two very old men of European nationality meet
    While talking, one asks: “You watching the football game?”
    The other says: “Who’s playing?”
    “Austria-Hungary”, says the first.
    “Against whom?”
  31. An introverted Finn looks at his shoes when talking to you; an extroverted Finn looks at your shoes.
  32. Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
    To get away from the noise.
  33. Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them?
    So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!
  34. How was copper wire invented?
    Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.
  35. What are Greek houses made out of?
    Greeks and con-Crete!
  36. Why is it hard to make friends in Antarctica?
    Because you can’t break the ice.
  37. What pan is the best to make sushi in?
    Japan.
  38. What will an Australian chess player say to a Czech person while making the winning move?
    Czech mate.
  39. A friend in Germany tells me everyone’s panic buying sausages and cheese.
    It’s the Wurst Käse scenario.
  40. What do you call a bunch of bullies from Malta?
    Maltesers.
  41. Ever since my girlfriend moved to Siberia things haven’t been the same.
    She’s so cold and distant.
  42. The Sahara Desert drifts into a bar and the bartender says…
    “Long time no sea.”
  43. Did you hear about the Pole who thought his wife was trying to kill him? On her dressing table, he found a bottle of “Polish Remover.”
  44. I’ve heard that Argentina is starting to get a little colder…
    In fact, it’s bordering on Chile.
  45. What’s Santa’s nationality?
    North Polish.
  46. What genre are national anthems?
    Country.
  47. Did you hear McDonalds will stop serving fries in Switzerland?
    The Swiss don’t take sides.

Vocabulary List (listen to the episode for my explanations)

  1. A kidney bank
  2. Liver
  3. A criminal record
  4. A (big) plus
  5. Snails
  6. I can’t complain
  7. To double in size
  8. The Loch Ness monster
  9. Bees, flies
  10. Mass confusion
  11. “Check one two, check one two”
  12. One goose, two geese
  13. A scam
  14. A pyramid scheme
  15. To go broke
  16. To pass away
  17. Barcodes
  18. A pan
  19. A worst-case scenario
  20. To bully/tease someone
  21. To be cold and distant
  22. Nail polish remover
  23. It’s bordering on chilly
  24. A side of french fries

880. Is Paris ready for the Olympic Games 2024? (Article + Vocabulary)

I read an article about Paris’ preparations for the 2024 Olympic Games 🏊, discuss the issues, summarise the article and explain plenty of vocabulary. Is Paris ready for the games? What are the attitudes, complaints, expectations and fears ahead of this potentially controversial event.

[DOWNLOAD AUDIO]

https://youtu.be/wayMKFFUFB4

Notes

880. Is Paris ready for the Olympic Games 2024? 🏊 (Article + Vocabulary)


Intro

I’m in Paris and it’s less than 100 days until the Olympic Games begin here. 

Is the city ready? 

Let’s read an article on the subject. 

I found this article on www.TheWeek.com  

I’ll read the article to you, then explain and discuss what is written. 

I’ll also go through vocabulary from the article – and there is plenty.

Topic → Reading/Listening → Vocabulary → Discussion

Before we read the article, here are some questions to get you thinking.

  • If you like you can stop the podcast and discuss these questions for some speaking practice. 
  • What are the benefits and costs for a city hosting the Olympic Games?
  • Has the Olympics ever been held in your city or country?
  • How did people feel before, during and after the games?
  • Were people positive about it?
  • Did it have a positive effect on the city?
  • 100 days before the Olympics are due to happen, what do you think people are worrying about?

Article link 👇 https://theweek.com/sports/olympics-2024-is-paris-ready-to-party 

Vocabulary

  1. The build-up to this summer’s Games is being ‘marred’ by rows over national identity, security and pollution
  2. The lighting of the Olympic torch today comes amid a “dampening” of enthusiasm for the Paris Games in an increasingly “fractious” France, commentators warn.

    Light – lit – lit
    To light something
    To light something up

    Lighting
    Lightening (lighten)
    Lightning ⚡
  3. “We’re ready for this final straight,” said Paris Olympics chief organiser Tony Estanguet
  4. to mark the 100-day countdown
  5. With the clock ticking down until the Games kick off on 26 July
  6. France’s “bitter politics and gloomy mindset are dampening the mood” among a “fractious” public, said The Japan Times.
     
  7. The build-up has been “marred by rows” that go to “the heart of a bitter national debate about identity and race”.
  8. Herve Le Bras, a sociologist, told the paper that the Games threaten to “underline the major fractures in France – notably the fracture between Paris and the rest of the country”.
  9. An Odoxa poll of more than 1,200 Paris region residents last November found that 44% thought the Games were a “bad thing”, and that 52% were planning to leave the city during the 16-day event.
  10. One Parisian told the BBC that staying would be “unbearable“, with the Games making it “impossible to park, impossible to move around, impossible to do anything”.
  11. Security fears are also growing amid mounting global tensions.
  12. In a break from the tradition of opening the Games in the main stadium, the organisers have devised a “grandiose” ceremony centred around a parade of barges on the River Seine, said Le Monde.
  13. The original plan was for as many as 600,000 spectators to watch from the riverbanks, but security and logistical concerns have led the government to “progressively scale back” the plan, with the spectator numbers reduced to 300,000.
  14. And President Emmanuel Macron said yesterday that the ceremony might be moved to a new location if the authorities decide that the risk of an attack, potentially by drones, is too great.
  15. “There are Plan Bs and Plan Cs”, including holding the opening at the city’s Stade de France, he told television interviewers. Asked if the Kremlin would seek to disrupt the Olympics, Macron said that he had “no doubt“.
  16. Another potential threat is sewage pollution in the Seine, where swimming events are due to take place.
  17. Bacteria, including “pollution of faecal origin”, remains dangerously high in the river.
  18. Games boss Estanguet said last week that if water quality levels worsen, “there could be a final decision where we could not swim”.
  19. The Switzerland-based International Olympic Committee has “mountains of scepticism to dispel” in France and beyond, said The Associated Press.
  20. The $13 billion cost of the 2021 Tokyo Games and the “unfulfilled promises of beneficial change” for 2016 host Rio de Janeiro triggered widespread anger, and the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi were “tarnished by Russian doping“.
  21. But some previous predictions of Olympics doom have proved incorrect.
  22. In the run-up to the London 2012 Games, the Army was drafted in to bolster the security presence provided by private firm G4S, amid fears of a repeat of the riots that had broken out in the city in 2011.
  23. Journalists emitcyclical loud buzzing noises before every set of Summer Games”, said George Vecsey in The New York Times in 2004.
  24. Reporters will “continue to fret on schedule”, because it’s “in our job description“.

Estanguet acknowledged last week that “before this kind of big event, there are always many questions, many concerns“. But the Paris edition would make his nation “proud”, he said.

877. How to Learn Vocabulary | A Conversation with Clare Whitmell

This conversation is a preview of my Zoom workshop on Thurs 18 April 2024 at 10AM (UK time), as part of the Advanced English Summit. In my workshop I will be talking about how to really learn vocabulary, and not just stare at word lists. This is a conversation about the subject of the workshop, and summit organiser Clare Whitmell asks me questions about why vocabulary is important, why I love teaching it, common mistakes made by learners, ways of learning vocabulary more effectively, and some tools you can use.

👉 Sign up for the Advanced English Summit here https://english-at-home.com/summit/

[DOWNLOAD AUDIO]

https://youtu.be/pThUa7fxteY

👉 Sign up for the Advanced English Summit here https://english-at-home.com/summit/

875. Aepyornis Island by HG Wells (Learn English with a Short Story)

Learn English with another short story. I’ll read the entire story to you, and then go through the text again explaining and clarifying the main events and plenty of vocabulary. This is a wonderful adventure story written by HG Wells, a very influential and imaginative English writer from the late 19th century. The story is full of vivid descriptive language, action, adventure and extraordinary moments. I hope it captures your imagination and lets the English come alive in memorable ways. PDF available below.

[DOWNLOAD AUDIO]

https://youtu.be/u3pUtHNX7YQ

Get the full episode PDF here 👇 

873. Luke takes the MBTI Personality Test

The MBTI Personality Test (aka “16 Personalities”) is a very well-known and widely used test which claims to be able to give you a “freakishly accurate” analysis of your personality type. In this episode I take the test, explain the reasons for my answers, explain some vocabulary and give my thoughts on the test results and the test itself. Includes plenty of expressions for describing personality traits, behaviour, ways of thinking and feeling and the subject of psychological testing.

[DOWNLOAD AUDIO]

Transcript / Notes

Hello!

In this much-requested episode I am going to take the MBTI personality test and use it to help you learn English.

I’ll go through the test, answering all the questions, and I will explain vocabulary that comes up along the way.

I expect there will be plenty of English here that we use to describe personality, behaviour, feelings, psychology and psychological testing.

I also want to discuss this test, which despite its massive popularity, is criticised for not being reliable or accurate. 

What’s going on here? Why is the test so popular? Can it really identify our true personality? What kind of personality type am I? And what about you?

You can take the test yourself if you want. It’s free and you’ll find a link in the description. 

A comment from a listener

Here’s a comment I received ages ago in response to the Q&A I did for episode 800.

JiaqiThese Q&A episodes are so fun! Thanks Luke!
I agree with one question – it’d be really interesting if you do the MBTI personality test and talk us through your choices! On 16personalities.com they have really good questions and good analysis of your result 😄
I have a feeling that you might be ENFJ aka The Protagonist, Luke👀… Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging. I’m INFJ (the introverted version).

OK then!

What is the MBTI Personality Test?

The MBTI Personality Test, in case you don’t know, is a very popular personality test which promises to help you learn all about yourself. 

Wikipedia

The Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a pseudoscientific[1][2] self-report questionnaire that claims to indicate differing personality types

The test attempts to assign a binary value to each of four categories: introversion or extraversion, sensing or intuition, thinking or feeling, and judging or perceiving. 

One letter from each category is taken to produce a four-letter test result representing one of sixteen possible personalities, such as “INFP” or “ESTJ”.

The MBTI was constructed by two Americans: Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers, who were inspired by the book Psychological Types written by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. The test was first published in the 1960s, and was based on work done by Katherine and Isabel in the 1940s. 

This test claims to be backed up by research and is used by millions of people around the world, especially in the world of work where employers often use it to work out the competences of their staff. They use it to put employees into different personality categories in order to help place them into roles at work that they are most suitable for. 

The test is divided into questions and your answers put you somewhere on a sliding scale between certain “opposite” personality traits. At the end, the test gives you a personality profile, putting you into one of 16 personality categories or personality types. I’ll go through those types in a moment. 

This test is extremely popular and actually Jiaqi is not the first person to ask me to take the test and talk about it.

Episode Plan

The plan is to do 3 things:

  • Take the test and talk you through my decision making process for each question – I’m curious to see what personality type I’m going to get. Will Jiaqi be right about me being an ENFJ?
  • Explain different vocabulary or possibly grammar that comes up in the test. I’m sure there will be loads of words and phrases to describe things like personality traits, feelings, ways of thinking, decision making processes and so on.
  • Talk about the test itself – I want to evaluate the test and consider whether it really is a valid and reliable test of someone’s character.

16 Personalities

Let’s look at the 16 personality types developed by Myers-Briggs.

As we go through these profiles, consider these things.

  • What category type are you?
  • Which one do you think I am? (You’ll find out, apparently)

https://www.16personalities.com/personality-types

Interestingly, there are no negative categories. All the categories are positive. 

Surely there must be some negative personality traits in people? 

Why don’t they come up in this evaluation?

For example, there are no categories like these.

7 Negative Personality Types (NOT in the MBTI test) 

Couch potatoes
Lazy time-wasters who avoid all sense of responsibility or personal challenge by spending the day lying in bed, scrolling through TikTok and maybe ordering a pizza. 

Internet trolls
Hate-filled nerds who use the anonymity and lack of accountability of the internet to provoke negative emotional responses from other users, probably because they have trouble establishing genuine loving relationships in the real world.  

Selfish scumbags
The type of person who would push your elderly grandmother out of the way while getting off a bus, these are completely self-interested psychopaths whose only motivations are to gain wealth, power and influence over others, all for their own benefit.

Scroungers
Never willing to pay their own way, scroungers are always looking for opportunities to get things for free or to benefit from the hard work of others, while making the least amount of effort possible and spending none of their own money.

Cowards
Weak-willed losers who run away from any challenge due to a fear of failure which is actually caused by an underlying narcissistic tendency with an overriding sense of self-preservation combined with the feeling they have been wronged somewhere down the line and therefore deserve to be given everything they want without taking any risk themselves. 

Bullies
Bullies make themselves feel better by making other people feel worse. They belittle, abuse and pick on people in weaker, lower-status positions in order to cover up for a deep-seated sense of inadequacy probably stemming from a problematic loveless relationship with one or both of their parents, who probably bullied them too, sending them into a vicious cycle of abuse. 

Other possible categories:
Creepy weirdos
Manipulative gaslighters
Compulsive liars
Sociopaths
Politicians

We all know people like that, but interestingly the test contains no descriptions like that, or in fact any negative descriptions whatsoever. 

Some comments before I begin

This will probably take a lot of time because I think there are lots of sentences in this test, but that’s fine isn’t it. (By the way, I am glad so many people agree with my thoughts from episode 871 about longer episodes).

As I discuss these questions, you might think I am over-analysing or thinking about each question too much, but I’m not. I’m going to answer the questions in the most honest way I can, but I also want to use my critical thinking to analyse the thinking or assumptions behind each one. 

Full disclosure, I am sceptical about this test. I will discuss why as we go through the questions.

I did an A Level in Psychology (I got a B – check me out) so I am vaguely familiar with some of the science behind this kind of thing. 

Test reliability and test validity

For a test like this to be objectively, measurably accurate it should be both reliable and valid. 

These are standard concepts in scientific testing, which any good test should comply with in order to produce results which we can reasonably accept to be accurate.

Test reliability – tests should be reliable

This refers to the consistency of a test – how the test consistently produces the same results, time and time again. 

If the MBTI test is reliable, it should always produce the same results every time someone takes it. 

Because, as the makers claim, we have fixed personalities and so it should always put us in the same category each time.

Also, if a test is unaffected by measurement errors or random effects like the person’s mood, environmental factors, the weather on that particular day etc – if it is unaffected by these things, it makes the test stronger and more reliable.

Test validity – tests should be valid

This means that the test actually tests what it says it tests, and nothing else.

It’s different from reliability because even if a test gets the same results each time, it might not be valid, meaning that the results still might not be accurate. 

If the MBTI test is valid, it means that, for example, it is accurately labelling people – it is putting people in the right categories. For example, when it says that someone has a certain personality type and would be well suited for a particular job, this is actually true

Let’s take the test 👉 https://www.16personalities.com


Luke’s result on 6 March 2024: INFP “The Mediator”

I have taken the test before (did I get the same results?)

Luke’s Result on 11 December 2023: INTP “The Logician”

Results when I took the text on 11 December 2023. I was at work and I had a bad stomach.

Luke’s Result on 19 Jan 2023: INFJ “The Advocate”

The results when I took the test on Friday 19 January 2023 and I felt a bit tired.

Problems with the MBTI test / Criticisms

  • Poor validity
    According to its critics, the test does not accurately predict a person’s performance in any way.

    It’s basically meaningless and comparable to a horoscope in terms of its validity.

    But of course plenty of people believe horoscopes, including you maybe and you might disagree with my criticisms here because you like horoscopes and you like this test because you feel that it gives you a meaningful sense of perspective and insight into yourself.

    But if horoscopes are true and we really can predict someone’s future, why don’t newspapers put them on the front page? Instead they always put them in the middle of the newspaper, down at the bottom somewhere next to the puzzles?

    More about horoscopes in a moment.
  • Poor reliability
    People typically get different results when they take the test multiple times.
  • Inaccurate representation of character traits
    The test presents its character traits as independent from each other and mutually exclusive, but they’re not. In each question you are either one or the other (introvert or extrovert) but in reality these things are not mutually exclusive concepts and we can be a bit of both, and maybe it depends on the situation.

It is possible to be a bit of both, but the test rigidly divides you into one or the other with every single question. This is true for all its categories which are presented as mutually exclusive. Even though there is a middle position in each question, you will ultimately be put in one of the categories.

  • Conflict of interest
    There are huge questions of independence, bias and conflict of interest.
    All the research behind the test is done by the same organisation that produces and sells the test worldwide making a large profit from it. 
  • Barnum effect
    The test has been likened to horoscopes as both rely on the Barnum effect, flattery, and confirmation bias, leading participants to personally identify with descriptions that are somewhat desirable, vague, and widely applicable.

    People believe the results because they want to. It confirms what they already (want to) believe about themselves, and it flatters them in the process – it makes them feel good. Everyone is a winner and nobody has any particular reason to disagree or criticise the results of the test.

    117. Psychics / Cold Reading / Barnum Statements | Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast
  • This is in fact just a glorified version of online quizzes such as “Which Harry Potter character are you?” but in fact it is more successful than that because it presents itself as serious, backed up by research and all the results are positive, unlike in the Harry Potter quiz because nobody is happy if they end up being Draco Malfoy or something.

Debunking the test 

Jordan Peterson actually does a good job of debunking the test. I’m not a big fan of his, but he seems to be spot on here.

Summary of his main points

The probability that a company will use a personality test is inversely related to the accuracy of the test. 

Meaning that the less accurate the test, the easier it is to sell. 

So there are other factors which cause this test to be so popular – it’s really nothing to do with its ability to accurately describe your personality or predict what you will be good at.

Companies buy the MBTI test. It sells about one million units per year. But it has ZERO predictive utility with regards to performance prediction. It does not predict performance. 

Why do people use it? Because it doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. In fact, it makes people feel good. Companies ultimately want their staff to have high morale. 

The test is old, it’s based on unsound and outmoded psychological techniques and should be replaced by another test called “The Big Five”.

An article on vox.comCLICK HERE TO READ

A summary of the article 

The arguments against the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test presented in the article can be summarized as follows:

1. Lack of scientific evidence: The test lacks empirical evidence to support its claims. It doesn’t predict job success, marital happiness, or overall performance in various situations.

2. Theoretical basis: The MBTI was formulated in the 1940s based on Carl Jung’s untested theories. Even Jung himself cautioned that his personality “types” were rough observations rather than strict classifications.

3. Unsupported principles: Jung’s theories were not grounded in controlled experiments or data but were rather theoretical. The test was developed by individuals without formal psychology training, further lacking scientific credibility.

4. Limited and false binaries: The test’s binary questions oversimplify complex human traits that usually exist along a spectrum. It categorizes individuals as one extreme or the other, ignoring the nuanced nature of human behavior.

5. Inconsistent and inaccurate results: The test often yields inconsistent results when taken multiple times by the same person, indicating its unreliability. It fails to measure traits consistently different among individuals.

6. Disregarded by psychologists: The Myers-Briggs test is mostly disregarded by contemporary psychologists, as it lacks significant research support in reputable psychology journals. Newer, empirically driven tests focus on different personality categories backed by actual data.

7. Entertainment value vs. practical use: While the MBTI might serve as entertainment, it lacks practical validity. Despite its widespread use in corporations and government agencies, its reliability and effectiveness have been debunked by psychologists.

Also the test assumes that you are a good judge of your own character. We might choose options based on how we want to be perceived, rather than on who we really are.

In conclusion, the arguments highlight the lack of scientific basis, the test’s reliance on outdated theories, its oversimplification of human traits, inconsistency in results, and the absence of support from the psychology community, suggesting that the MBTI is unreliable and largely disregarded by reputable psychologists.

The Big Five (another personality test)

Apparently this is a more accurate personality test, and interestingly it has its roots in language. The developers listed every single adjective they could find which describes personality and distilled them into 5 broad concepts. Basically, all personality descriptions boil down to these 5 areas:

The test is based on these 5 factors then, and on other more valid research and methods.

Take the test 👉 Big Five Personality Test 

But that is another story for another time. 

Your Comments?

  • What do you think?
  • Do you think the test is valid or reliable? (actually this is not a question of opinion – it isn’t!)
  • What did you think of my result? Do you agree?
  • Have you taken the test? What result did you get? What did you think?

872. The Birthday Party (Learn English with a Short Story)

🎧 Learn English with a short story. 🗣 Listen & repeat after me if you’d like to practise your pronunciation. 💬 Learn some vocabulary in the second half of the video. This is a story about people watching and what you can notice about people’s relationships if you are observant enough.

[DOWNLOAD AUDIO]

📄 Click here to read the story text 👈

Luke’s Vocabulary Notes

  • In your early / late twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties
  • To look married (look good, look tired, look happy, look married, look bored)
  • Unmistakably married
  • They were married. It was unmistakable.
  • Mistakable = easily confused for something else
  • Unmistakable = not easily confused for something else – you can immediately identify it
  • The unmistakable smell of fresh bread in the air
  • They looked unmistakably French / unmistakably English / unmistakably yours/hers/his (this handwriting is unmistakably his)
  • Why are they unmistakably married? What does she mean? She’s alluding to subtle behaviour. When a couple are unmarried or perhaps in the early stages of a relationship they tend to give each other a lot more attention. They might be still trying to seduce each other somehow, or to attract each other. There’s still mystery and interest. Brand new couples can hardly take their eyes off each other. I imagine this couple is unmistakably married because they show signs of the relationship suffering from over familiarity. They mystery is gone, maybe. Perhaps they seem very familiar with each other, or very comfortable with each other. Marriage can make people feel stuck (not always!) especially if the marriage is based on the wrong things. 
  • A banquette = a long, fitted seat or bench, typically found in restaurants
  • Narrow – opposite of wide – a long narrow corridor 
  • We get the sense this is a small, intimate space. It’s also uncomfortable, painfully so. 
  • The couple and other guests in the restaurant are all so close and this makes the man’s humiliation and the woman’s heartbreak even more painful. 
  • The narrator is unable to stop “people watching” here – observing this couple opposite.
  • Also the couple sit side by side, not facing each other, which suggests that they’re not all that interested in each other. 
  • You start to speculate – what does this woman mean to this man? Is she there just to sit by his side and look glamorous? 
  • A round face
  • Self-satisfied (definitely a negative word) smug, arrogant, not charming
  • Fadingly pretty 
  • Fading  = gradually becoming less clear, less bright, less colourful. Her prettiness was fading. 
  • A big hat – I imagine it was one of those hats with a big brim, which can be very glamorous but also hides the face. 
  • Conspicuous = noticeable, easy to notice, eye-catching (apparently in those days big hats were not uncommon in New York restaurants)
  • Basically, they looked quite ordinary really, and weren’t trying to grab/attract everyone’s attention.
  • An occasion – a particular event, a birthday, an anniversary, something to celebrate
  • The wife had planned a surprise for him (past perfect because she planned this before any of the events in this story) without past perfect it could mean that the wife planned the surprise there at the table
  • A surprise in the form of a cake – “in the form of” here means that this is how the surprise was actually manifested. I mean, what was the surprise, how did this surprise take shape? The surprised arrived in the form of a cake.
  • The gift came in the form of a beautifully wrapped package.
  • Their support came in the form of encouraging words during a difficult time.
  • The solution to the problem arrived in the form of an innovative new technology.
  • Help arrived in the form of my wife who came to rescue me (from an awkward conversation for example)
  • A glossy birthday cake = shiny & smooth, so the light reflects off the top. It’s one of those smart, fancy cakes that you see in good quality cake shops. 
  • One pink candle burning in the center (American English spelling) – this is a little bit sad, isn’t it? Also, if this guy takes himself quite seriously, he might find that a tiny bit embarrassing – bringing attention to him, and this little cake with a pink candle might make him feel a bit ridiculous, especially if he is full of himself and takes himself seriously. But it is a lovely, sweet gesture and we just want him to be embarrassed but also touched and it would be a great moment for him to blush and smile and kiss his wife and maybe acknowledge the other diners with a smile, but he doesn’t.
  • The head waiter – so the wife probably asked the restaurant to make a special effort here, which again shows how much care she put into this.
  • He placed it before the husband. This means he carefully put it down.
  • Meanwhile = at the same time
  • The wife beamed with shy pride over her little surprise
  • Beamed = her face glowed, she smiled, she seemed proud. To “beam” means that light comes out – like a torch, or a light house. In this case the woman’s face beamed with a certain emotion or an expression. 
  • Pride – to feel proud = she’s happy and satisfied with what she has done. She’s put a lot of effort into this and expects it to go well. She’s trying.
  • It became clear (obvious) at once (immediately) that help was needed (passive voice – needed by who?) We feel that the narrator suddenly sees that this woman is helpless in this situation. She’s in trouble. But nobody can help her without making it worse. 
  • The husband was not pleased.
  • He was hotly embarrassed. – not a common collocation but it tells us that his face probably went red and he was angry.
  • He was indignant = angry, annoyed, frustrated with his wife because of what she’s done. 
  • Don’t be like that = don’t be that way
  • As soon as the little cake had been deposited  on the table = quite formal and impersonal language, meaning put in a certain place. Money is deposited in an account. It’s quite cold, transactional language.
  • The birthday piece – a piece of music
  • The general attention had shifted = moved
  • I saw him say something to her under his breath  = in a very quiet voice, in a whisper, so other people can’t hear
  • Some punishing thing  = a comment which was designed to punish her, to make her feel bad
  • Quick (just a few words) and curt (rudely brief – rude because it is so short) and unkind (cruel).
  • I couldn’t bear to look
  • Can’t bear to do something
  • Can’t stand doing it
  • Can’t bring myself to do something
  • When I finally glanced over there = looked quickly
  • This is heartbreaking!
  • Adverbs
  • Crying quietly 
  • Crying heartbrokenly
  • Crying hopelessly
  • All to herself (she was doing it all by herself, but also crying to herself – a very lonely feeling where you are the only one witnessing your crying – the husband doesn’t care it seems)
  • All to herself / all by herself
  • Under the big gay brim of her best hat. (Gay in it’s original meaning, “carefree” “happy”)
  • The brim of the hat = the wide edge
  • This is a particularly sad image because of the contrast between this lovely hat that should be worn on a happy and carefree occasion, but under it this poor woman is crying. 

871. Rambling through my episode archive / Listener Comments / Gold YouTube Creator Award

A very long rambling episode with a big mix of vocabulary, stories about my trip to Rome, comments from listeners, lots of thoughts about episodes I’ve published over the last 12 months, more advice about learning English, and a story about being Jackie Chan’s English teacher.

[DOWNLOAD AUDIO]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw0_lkypqfM&ab_channel=Luke%27sEnglishPodcast

Get the PDF for this episode 👇

863. Welcome Back / Your English in 2024 with LEP 📈

A new year episode to welcome you back to my podcast, to encourage you to reflect on your learning of English over the last 12 months, to consider your English learning in 2024 and how this podcast can help you. Includes plenty of ideas for how to improve your English, some reflections on my learning of French, and some ‘help’ from my baby son 👶.

[DOWNLOAD]

📄 Get the PDF Transcript 👇 (text also included below 👇👇)

🏆 LEP Premium information 👉 https://www.teacherluke.co.uk/premiuminfo

Episode Text (This is the text on the PDF – but the vocabulary is not highlighted in green here)

Happy New Year everyone!

This is my first episode of 2024 and let’s get serious for a moment because actually the purpose of this one is to help you consider where you are with your English (because that’s what this is all about isn’t it?) to encourage you to reflect on your learning of English in 2023, to approach 2024 with the right mindset and also give you loads of advice and tips for how to keep improving your English with this podcast and in plenty of other ways.

This episode has mostly been written out in advance, so I’m reading from a script in this one. 

You’ll find the PDF script on the page for this episode and there’s a link in the description wherever you are listening to this. 

“Link in the description” – Do you know what that means? 

You can just download it free and I’m not even going to ask for your email address and then send you loads of emails tempting you to buy my online course which is only available for a limited period of time for mysterious reasons that aren’t fully explained. 

Don’t worry, I’m not going to do that. You can just download the PDF directly like in the old days of the internet.

By the way, if you prefer rambling episodes with no script, just hang on because I’ll be doing one of them after I’ve done this episode. 

The plan is to do this one which is fully planned and scripted, and then just do something totally spontaneous in the next episode. 

So, there is a New Year rambling episode coming soon. Also there will be a premium episode coming soon for premium subscribers focusing on some of the language I use in this episode. 

Premium subscribers – watch out for some of the words and phrases which are highlighted in a lurid green colour on the PDF – those bits of vocabulary will come up in a premium episode soon. 

If you’re not a premium subscriber, you can still notice those highlighted phrases and just consider how much you are missing out by not being a premium subscriber, and of course if you just can’t stand missing out on the magic, and you want to be a premium subscriber or you just want more information about it, then go to www.teacherluke.co.uk/premiuminfo 

By the way, I chose that lurid green colour so that it will also show up if you print the PDF in black and white. Also, it’s a way of subtley reminding you to keep noticing vocabulary.

Also, I have various other episodes in the pipeline which I recorded late last year and they are coming too, over the next few weeks including a couple of Amber & Paul ones, an episode with Lindsay from All Ears English, one with my friend who works at UNESCO and some others, so just bear with me, they are coming as well! 

As usual, I just have so many episodes to publish and things I want to say. I’d love to just publish new episodes every few days, to be honest, but I don’t want to overload you completely. I know some of you might be happy for me to do that, but really – podcasting wisdom says that I shouldn’t do that.

This episode

What’s this episode going to be? Let’s get started.

First of all, I want to welcome new listeners and remind old listeners who I am and what this is all about. A lot of people will be turning over a new leaf and trying to make a fresh start with their English. Is that you? Have you made a new year’s resolution to improve your English this year? 

Maybe you’ve decided to listen to podcasts in English and here you are. Or maybe you’re already a regular listener and you’re happy to be back in LEPland with this new episode. In any case, welcome and welcome back. It’s good to doing the first episode of the show in 2024.

Some info about LEP for new listeners (and old listeners too, whose memory isn’t what it once was) 

Hello. Forgive me for stating the obvious here but I’m Luke Thompson and I’m the host of this podcast that you are listening to right now, which is called Luke’s English Podcast. It’s a podcast for learners of English. I’m Luke, hence the title of the show – Luke’s English Podcast. Yes, I am very original and creative and I worked very hard to come up with that name. 

In my episodes I talk about all kinds of stuff and help you learn English. All you have to do is listen, although if you want there are plenty of other ways you can use my episodes to work on your English. I’ll mention some of those things later. 

I talk about different topics, chat with different guests, tell stories, just ramble about what’s on my mind, give advice for learning English, talk about British culture such as music, films and comedy, explain jokes and generally give you something to listen to in English on a regular basis. This is an award-winning podcast by the way and I have a very loyal, enthusiastic and lovely audience who are affectionately called the LEPsters. 

I’m an English teacher from England (West London and the West Midlands). I’ve been teaching English for nearly 25 years now. I first taught in Japan many years ago (have I ever mentioned that I used to live in Japan? – you get a point every time I say that, remember) then I taught in London for a long time at various language schools in places like Oxford Street, Covent Garden, Waterloo, Holland Park and Hammersmith, and these days I live and work in Paris, yes the one in France. 

I went to university in Liverpool a long long time ago and graduated with a degree in media and cultural studies which means I am very good at watching movies. 

I have CELTA and DELTA qualifications in English language teaching to adults, so don’t worry, you are in safe hands, you can trust me I am fully qualified. I am a professional. I have a particular set of skills which I have developed over a very long career. 

As well as being an English teacher, I am also a stand-up comedian, which you must have realised already because you can’t have failed to notice how funny and witty I am. I do stand-up which means I go on stage in front of audiences and make them laugh with hilarious jokes and stories and things and it always works really well and everyone in the room laughs so much, so hard that they die and then can never tell anyone else how funny I am, which is why I don’t have my own Netflix special. 

I’ve been doing stand-up on a semi-professional basis for about 15 years – roughly the same length of time as this podcast, but not as consistently as this I have to say. 

Most of the time these days I perform at comedy shows in Paris in the evenings sometimes, in English, to audiences of English-speaking ex-pats, tourists and local Parisians. If you want to hear me talking about my stand up comedy, check out my recent appearance on the Stolariod Stories podcast. The episode was called The Art of Making People Laugh with Luke Thompson from Luke’s English Podcast. The Art of Making People Laugh: with Luke Thompson from Luke’s English Podcast

I have been doing this podcast for about 15 years now. The show has had over 150 million downloads in total, which is mind-blowing. It is listened to by people all over the world. I am actually very famous but nobody knows who I am. Does that make sense? No, it doesn’t. But somehow it is still true. 

If I got all my listeners together in one place I’d be able to fill a few football stadiums, but that’s never going to happen and I’m not even very good at football so it wouldn’t be a very good idea anyway.  

There are audio versions and video versions of this podcast. 

Audio in podcast apps, video on YouTube. Let me explain that to the uninitiated. *

*Remember the words and phrases highlighted in green? That was one of them → “the unititiated”. Get the PDF from the episode page on my website and you can see those highlighted bits. 

I’ll add them all in a list at the end of the episode as well because I’m nice. You’re welcome. I’ll explain them in a premium episode coming soon, to help you remember them and also use them. 

You can listen to the audio podcast in any podcast app on your phone and this is the way that most people listen to my episodes, for example using Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PocketCasts and so on. 

I imagine people do something like this. They get up in the morning, stretch, have a shower, question their life choices, eat breakfast, maybe get the kids ready for school, go to work, and at some point get their phone out, put their headphones in, open up their podcast app of choice, tap on “Luke’s English Podcast” and start listening to a new episode or continue listening to one they started the day before. 

Other people might just stay at home (because what’s the point of leaving the house really?) and maybe get their phone out, connect it to their bluetooth speaker or something, then listen to my podcast and maybe do some really exciting housework or something like that. 

So that’s how to listen to my episodes in a podcast app on your phone. If you’re already initiated into the world of podcasting, that all might strike you as being very obvious, but you’d be surprised at the number of people who don’t understand what podcasts are, how they work or even how the word podcast is spelled or indeed pronounced. 

POD-CAST. POD-CAAAAST. /pɒdkɑ:st/ not postcard or pot-cat

I understand. It can be a tricky word actually. It’s a relatively new word and in terms of pronunciation there are a couple of tricky consonant clusters in there. 

The bit where the D and the C combine and the bit where the S and the T combine. Tricky stuff actually. 

  • /pɒdkɑ:st/ POD – CAAST
  • Try it again.
  • Not POST KAAAAST
  • POD KAAAST
  • Not POK-KAAAST  either
  • POD CAST
  • Podcast
  • Luke’s English Podcast

ok

The word podcast is actually a combination of the word broadcast and the word iPod

It’s a broadcast on your iPod. A podcast. 

It’s a kind of audio broadcast (like a radio show  – radio is broadcasted through radio signals from a radio tower thing, right? 

The radio waves are sent out into the air and picked up by your radio. But with a podcast, the audio is sent out via the internet and you get it and put it on your iPod, although nobody actually uses iPods any more, it’s all mobile phones now isn’t it? 

So, it might as well be called a Phonecast – because I broadcast my show to your phone. Not a phone call, because that’s not how it works. 

I don’t just call you and start talking. I could, but that would be a very inefficient way of doing this, if I had to call you all one by one and say this to each person I called, again and again. No, thank goodness, that’s now how it works. It’s not a phone call, and it’s not a phonecast, even though you listen on your phone (unless you listen on your computer on my website or something, or you actually do listen on an iPod because you’re still using one. So, it’s not a phonecast, it’s a podcast. That should be clear. 

If you don’t know how to subscribe to the audio podcast, just download a podcast app on your phone. They’re completely free (podcast apps, not phones). I recommend PocketCasts. Go ahead and download PocketCasts free from the app store on your phone. Install it, then open it and search for Luke’s English Podcast, then tap “Subscribe” or “Add” (or whatever the equivalent is in your language) and my show will be saved in your list of subscriptions and you’ll always be able to go back to the app to listen to my latest episodes when they are published, and the entire back catalogue, and your life will improve just a little bit, certainly a step in the right direction. Switch on notifications and your phone will tell you when I’ve published a new episode. Happy days.

One of the advantages of listening to the audio podcast on your phone is that you can do other things while you listen, and people tell me that they listen while travelling, working out in the gym, doing housework, running or walking in the countryside, driving, and even at work or school while they should be doing something else. 

I expect some people listen while doing incredible things, like flying planes, recovering from a general anaesthetic after having surgery or operating the safety systems of a nuclear power station. 

I also publish video versions of these episodes on YouTube, and it’s usually the same content as the audio versions, but often the audio versions have even more content because sometimes I ramble a bit at the beginning and end of episodes (and in the middle), and those bits don’t always end up in the video versions. 

My YouTube channel nearly has 1 million subscribers now, which I find incredible really. Not all my episodes get a million views of course, except the ones called “Learn English with a Short Story” which are particularly popular on the platform. The advantages of the video versions are that you can see me while I speak (do you consider that to be an advantage?) 

You can see my body language, facial expressions and the movements of my mouth. For the more visually oriented people, that is a good thing. There are also automatic subtitles on YouTube which are getting better all the time, and I often show text on the screen while I record so you can read and listen at the same time (that text is usually also available on my website for the audio listeners). But, again, the video versions often have less content than the audio versions and you do have to basically stay looking at the screen the entire time, whereas with the audio episodes you can just put your headphones in, put your phone in your pocket and do something else, like fishing or taking your dog for a walk, or  if you prefer dogging and taking your fish for a walk, I mean it’s your life, you can do what you want can’t you? 

My episodes can be quite long, but this shouldn’t be a problem really (who said it was a problem?) Anyway, it shouldn’t be an issue, because you can just pause the episode whenever you want, do something else, and when you return to your podcast app and find that episode again, the app will remember where you stopped and you can continue from that point. YouTube does exactly the same thing if you are signed into it with your google account. 

So, you can just chill out about the whole “Your episodes should be 28 minutes long, no more no less” thing. Just listen to 28 minutes, then stop, then listen to another 28 minutes the next time. 

So, long episodes aren’t really an issue because you can listen to as much as you like, stop and do something else, then carry on where you stopped before. 

Having said that, I do try to keep the length of my episodes under control. I don’t want them to be too long, but the fact is I just have stuff that I want to say and I find it hard to shut up, so I need all that time! 

For me, these episodes are similar to English lessons I do at school. 

Lessons are usually at least 90 minutes long, often more. English lessons in a language school are very rarely less than one hour long. So, it’s a similar story with my episodes. 

Also, I also have a premium subscription (have I mentioned that before, I don’t think I have, have I? No, I definitely haven’t mentioned the premium subscription. Hey, I have a premium subscription. It’s called Luke’s English Podcast Premim. Forgive me for mentioning it again, it’s just that the modest amount of money that I make from it helps me to feed two starving children and one wife and to heat our home which otherwise would be cold, and allows me to buy microphones and guitars and things – all essential purchases of course. Anyway, LEP Premium costs just 4$ a month (and has the price gone up in line with inflation? No, it hasn’t. Starbucks have raised the price of their bizarrely-named coffees, the fuel you put in your car is more expensive, but LEP Premium remains the same despite all those things) and gives you access to extra episodes which focus on teaching you vocabulary, grammar and pronunciation.

So, my podcast has two branches → the free episodes and the premium episodes 

The free episodes → this is what I described before – me talking alone or with guests about things which I hope you will just find interesting and entertaining to listen to as part of your effort to get plenty of English into your brain via your ears. The free episodes are the ones which are available free in audio podcast format, or YouTube video format.

The premium episodes → extra episodes published every month, and also available in a podcast app on your phone. When you sign up you can add the premium episodes to your podcast app. 

Last year I published over 30 premium episodes, so that is 2 or 3 episodes per month. This is not just bonus content or out-takes or something. These are carefully prepared and thought-through lessons in which I help you build your English. All the info about the premium subscription is on my website at www.teacherluke.co.uk/premiuminfo 

The main difference between the two branches is that the free episodes are all about input and the premium ones are much more about teaching you directly.

In the free episodes I want to give you something to listen to in English which is made for you, which is entertaining, interesting and authentic, to help you listen more, listen for longer periods, and listen long-term. 

Sometimes I ramble and just share my thoughts with you in a kind of stream-of-consciousness way, sometimes I talk with guests including my friends & family and other people who I hope will have interesting things to say on the show, talk about a variety of topics, tell stories.

In the premium episodes I tend to focus on teaching you things, and this usually means vocabulary – explaining, highlighting, demonstrating, clarifying words and phrases, showing you how words and phrases are actually used with collocations, and other little important details. I also deal with grammar sometimes, and pronunciation every time – mainly giving you something to use for listen & repeat practice so you can regularly repeat after me, but also giving you insights into the pronunciation system in English in various ways. So, the focus is on teaching you language bit by bit.

Sometimes those two branches cross over, and I end up doing premium-type stuff on the free podcast (explaining vocabulary in short story episodes for example) or doing free-podcast type stuff in premium episodes (rambling episodes, short story episodes).

And, as a foundation, I want you to remember that I have been teaching English for most of my adult life now and so it is deeply ingrained in me, and in fact I couldn’t really stop teaching English even if I tried, and so even when I am just talking to you I am still teaching you. There is always that intention there to help you notice language, to engage with this language, to aid you somehow – so even when I’m just talking with seemingly no focus, there is a focus and a method in the background which is to help you connect with English as it is spoken, English as a living language, and English which is a medium for making connections with people and for expressing yourself. 

I am always attempting to reach out to you through the things I say and sort of grab you and shove English straight into your ears, but in a nice way. 

Also, I just love doing this podcast and hopefully my enthusiasm will rub off on you and will encourage you in your journey. 

I could continue to ramble on for ages about the benefits of listening to English podcasts long term, but I have done that plenty of times before. Just have a look back at my episode archive and see what you can see.

By the way, I wrote most of this over the last few days of the school holidays while sitting on my sofa in moments when my baby son was asleep or when my wife took the kids for a routine checkup at the doctor and I had some time to write down some thoughts which had been building up in my head during the Christmas holiday. I wrote these ideas down, and have edited them and added to them a bit since then.

You & Your English in 2023 and 2024 📈

Now I’m going to talk about you and your English over the last 12 months and into the forthcoming 12 months.

Usually in the New Year period I do some kind of New Year episode, and so I have been thinking “What can I say to my audience that will put them in the right mental space to help them learn English with my podcast in 2024? What inspiring words of wisdom can I impart? What sage-like advice can I give?” 

And after I had lowered my expectations for myself and just started writing, this is what came out. Listen carefully and hopefully you will get swept up in what I’m saying and the outcome will be that you’ll get a renewed sense of positivity and possibility for your English this year. Or maybe you’ll just have a nice relaxing sleep. I don’t know. Hopefully it’ll be good for you, either way. Just please be careful if you are driving or operating heavy machinery whil listening to this.

Remember, there’s a PDF for all of this and you can download it from my website. Just click the link in the show notes to find the episode page – the PDF is there.

It’s the new year period. This is a time when we look back and survey the year we’ve just completed, then look forward to the forthcoming 12 months and consider how we’re going to spend that time. I invite you to do that with me here in this episode. 

This is a podcast for learners of English. So, we’re going to focus on English of course. In this episode I want to encourage you and help you to take stock of your English learning at this moment in time.

First let’s look back and consider the last 12 months, and your English. 

Over the last 12 months

  • What kind of progress have you made in your English? 
  • What has worked for you? 
  • What have you done that has had a positive impact on your English?
  • What were some positive experiences and moments you had? 
  • What about negative experiences? What can you learn from them?

Grammar Pause

Note that I said “over the last 12 months” there and then used present perfect tense “What progress have you made?”. If I’d said “in 2023” then it would be past simple “What progress did you make?” “What worked for you?”. 

This is because “Over the last 12 months is an unfinished time period. Basically – don’t use past simple with unfinished time periods. 

For more details about present perfect (in fact, everything you ever wanted to know) then listen to premium series 12 – P12. That’s a premium episode. Did I mention my premium subscription? Again, get the details at www.teacherluke.co.uk/premiuminfo 

So, those questions again.

Over the last 12 months

  • What kind of progress have you made in your English? 
  • What has worked for you? 
  • What have you done that has had a positive impact on your English?
  • What were some positive experiences and moments you had? 
  • What about negative experiences? What can you learn from them?

Perhaps you have no clear sense of what you’ve done or whether it’s been positive or negative. 

If that’s the case, if you’re thinking “errr, I dunno actually” it probably means that…

a) you haven’t really done much with English – and this doesn’t just mean “studying” in the traditional way, but just using English either in a productive way (speaking, writing) or receptive way (reading, listening). There hasn’t been much English in your life for the past 12 months, 

or… 

b) you’re just not being very mindful about your relationship with English or the things you do in relation to your English. Perhaps you’re not really that aware of the ways that you are learning this language. You listen to my episodes, do other things in English sometimes but you don’t reflect on it all in an objective way, or an academic way. 

To be honest, I doubt that you fit the description I just mentioned. I think most of my audience are pretty aware of their English.  

And in fact maybe you are very conscious of it, and take quite a  metacognitive approach to it – maybe you are constantly analysing and strategising the way you learn English, and applying different methods.

In any case, this is a moment when I invite you to be mindful about your English. 

Maybe you feel like you haven’t really noticed a significant improvement in your English recently, which is a very common feeling.

Is that you? Are you waiting for some kind of breakthrough moment? Do you feel like you’re on a long plateau? Do you feel like you made significant progress a while ago but nothing has happened more recently? 

Or maybe not, maybe you’re currently really excited because you’ve discovered new abilities, like a superhero in the first half of their superhero origin movie or something.

But it is very common to get stuck in the so-called “intermediate plateau” and if that is the case for you, then I will say these things: 

don’t give up, don’t stop, keep going. The progress might not be obvious to you, but it’s probably still happening and will be revealed later. You just have to be willing to stick with it.

Sometimes you get stuck in a rut, or stuck in a routine and it feels like you’re going over the same ground and you’re not climbing to the top of any mountains or getting any significant feelings of reward moments of triumph or glory.

But that’s ok. You can’t have those moments all the time. 

Sometimes they are few and far between. Sometimes those breakthrough moments in language learning, or those meaningful moments of magic are rare. 

But keep going. Sometimes there is a lot of progress being made, but it’s under the surface and you don’t notice it.  

Language learning can be a weird thing. It can be hard to see it happening. It can be invisible, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. 

With English you have to put in a lot of hours. You have to absorb a lot of language, and you have to do plenty of practice. Spending a lot of time on it is necessary, and so you have to see the bigger picture

Imagine it like a long journey. There might be times on that journey where you climb to very high points, like the top of a hill or mountain and you get a clear, dramatic sense of achievement. But at other times you have to travel along a long flat plain and it can feel like you’re not even moving at all. But keep going. You’re making progress, but you might not be aware of it. It’s not all going to be moments of glory and sometimes your progress is not fully visible to you, but it is happening. 

You also have to fail quite a lot – you’ve got to get things wrong a lot before you come back and get them right. This can make you feel disheartened, as if you just keep making mistakes.

But keep going. Don’t stop. This is all part of a process. People don’t improve in their language learning because they give up. So, keep listening, keep doing whatever you’re doing. Stay in the game. Keep your English alive in 2024, and there will come a time or a moment when the time you have spent with it will pay off somehow.

At the very least, you’re understanding everything I’m saying, right? You’re understanding this. You understand me and you’re also noticing that I’m using certain phrases and expressions, aren’t you?

I’ll sum them up for you later. Not all of them, but a lot of them – I’m talking about some of the little phrases I have just used (the ones which are highlighted in that lurid green colour on the PDF), like “breakthrough moments” or “few and far between” or “disheartened”. I’ll sum them up later, help you properly understand them, remember them, and pronounce them too.

You’re noticing those things, you’re hearing them, aren’t you? 

It’s all going in. That’s all fuel or food for your English, you know. 

And the more you are exposed to English as a living thing like this, the better your position is, as a learner of English. The better prepared you will be for the moments when you have to open your mouth and produce the language, or when you’re on the spot and you’re in conversation with someone and you have to understand what’s coming out of their mouth and then you’re suddenly having to respond, and these bits of English come to you, seemingly from nowhere. That’s all thanks to the fact that you’ve been keeping your English alive and at the very least listening to this podcast and keeping your ears open. 

If you feel stuck at the intermediate plateau, keep going, keep the faith, realise that there is progress being made but you might not notice it every day. Keep your chin up

But also consider shaking things up a bit, adopting some new habits maybe, and perhaps give yourself a challenge – maybe some kind of speaking challenge, or change the kinds of practice you’re doing, or perhaps add a bit of discipline into your routines with some other little exercises you could do. I’ll mention some ideas for that later. 

What have you been doing with your English?

Now, bear in mind that in language learning anything is probably better than nothing, so even if the only thing you’ve been doing in English is to listen to podcasts sometimes, watch some stuff in English or occasionally speak it when the need arises, then fine, that’s still good. It’s better than nothing. 

Also, if you’ve been listening to all of my episodes I must say that puts you in a select group of extremely special people. Not everyone listens to podcasts in English. If you’re in public, have a look around. How many of these other people listen to Luke’s English Podcast, or any other podcast for that matter, in English? 

Ah, yes, you are one of the special ones. You are part of that elite group of people who have access to this exclusive and slightly secret world. You’re one of the ones who not only knows what a podcast is, but also how to pronounce it, spell it and also listen to it regularly.

Anyway, listening to podcasts is definitely good for your English, even if it is the only thing you do. But I do recommend doing more than just listening. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – this podcast is best consumed as part of a balanced diet.

Perhaps the worst things for your English are things like this…

a) doing absolutely nothing in English at all, and 

b) getting into a negative mindset in which you tell yourself that your English is no good, that you just can’t do it, or you’re one of those people who simply doesn’t have what it takes to use this language effectively. Never mind those negative thoughts. They will not help, so try not to say those things to yourself. Give yourself a break in 2024!

Everyone is naturally able to learn a language, you just have to maintain some good habits, a positive mental attitude, a sense of enjoyment and perhaps a sense of drive to push things further.

So, what have you been doing in English? What has worked for you? 

Can you recognise the things that have… 

a) helped you to make progress 

b) caused you to feel good about your English?

How can you put your best foot forwards and repeat some of the successes of the last year and build on them and generally move in the right direction, towards growth, progress and prosperity, in your English, but in your life?

Let’s try to maintain a positive cycle in 2024, where one good thing causes you to feel a bit more positive about your English, leading to a growing sense of confidence, which causes you to step outside your comfort zone a little bit more easily, and do something else with a bit more success, which again feeds into your positivity and sense of achievement, and this continues in a generally upward trajectory.


~ Let’s take a quick break here ~ 


To keep this simple, let’s consider these questions: 

  • What have been the good moments in your English learning over the last 12 months?
  • What were those situations? What exactly did you do? What happened? What caused you to feel an improvement in your English and the way you feel about your English?
  • How can you repeat those successes and build on them in the coming months?
  • And, if there were negative things – experiences or feelings in relation to your English, how can you learn from them?

To demonstrate this a bit, let me reflect on my learning of French, which admittedly I have not been engaging with properly (and there you see my somewhat negative attitude towards my relationship with French, revealing the frankly unhealthy condition of my French language learning).

Let me just reflect on my French here and consider my answers to the questions I have above.

Here are some notes which I will expand on.

The cooking class

  • Tell the story – where, when, who, what why etc…
  • The good things – I listened to what the others said and I copied them. I prepared myself in advance, in my head. I decided to just enjoy the moment. I went out of my comfort zone. I will remember the little things that I noticed and used.

Reading graphic novels

  • I love graphic novels in French and there are so many. I finished the series called L’Arabe du Futur, I’ve been reading one about the story of the making of Star Wars, one about an Indonesian woman who lives in France and observes funny cultural differences, one about crime and police in Baltimore which I found really difficult to follow, one about a journalist’s trip to North Korea and more. 
  • You can read direct speech.
  • There is awesome art work and the pictures definitely help to support my understanding. 
  • I get a sense of achievement from actually finishing the books. 
  • I have found something that I actually really enjoy doing in French. I don’t know why, but a lot of things turn me off. I find social interactions in French to be extremely painful.
  • I can go at my own speed (unlike TV shows which are harder to keep up with)
  • I tend to just read and read, and unfortunately I sort of skip over the phrases which I don’t understand or don’t know how to pronounce. I should actually stop and check those things, note them down, try to use them myself. (more comments on this kind of thing later)
  • There’s no audio though, so I can’t actually hear the pronunciation.
  • I should try reading other things like magazine articles or books. I did buy High Fidelity in French but just couldn’t get into the habit of reading it. I have quite bad reading habits actually, even in English. 

Open my ears and just listen to people around me

  • This really just means getting out of my bubble and noticing the French which people are using around me. 
  • Being part of conversations when lots of people are talking can be very overwhelming and exhausting. It’s all too much for me and I just become cut off from the French I’m hearing. As I’ve said before, I feel like I’m watching a game of tennis and after I while I just can’t see the ball any more. 

Being a bit more gregarious and outgoing – stop avoiding social interactions, take out my headphones and be a bit more present. 

Don’t beat myself up

Don’t care so much

Just enjoy it!

Lower my expectations for myself – take the pressure off my shoulders a bit

There are millions of other things I could be doing to improve my French – perhaps I’ll mention some of those things later – but you know what, part of what holds me back with my French is this sense of pressure that I should be a master language learner because I am a professional language teacher. I put a lot of pressure on myself and as a result I have a bad relationship with French and I often avoid it and avoid learning it. You heard me talk about some of these things in the episode with Fabio from last year. Episode 850 “Any Language You Want”, also the one with Rhiannon Carter. 

(This has become a therapy session now) 

Because I make it my business to help other people learn a language, and I do know a lot of methods and have so much pedagogy spinning around inside my head, and that is connected to job-related and career-related pressure, I am extremely aware of all the things I am not doing in my learning of French. I carry all of that on my shoulders and it causes me to feel quite ashamed of my language learning, and shame doesn’t help. It just kills that outgoing, curious, risk-taking, adventurous side that you need to encourage in yourself because that is so important in language learning. It also kills the motivation you need to push through things like slightly boring or unexciting language practice exercises you can do, which require discipline. 

There are also other reasons for my lack of progress including the fact that a lot of people just switch to English when they speak to me, I am actually more capable of having meaningful conversations in English than French, I can’t really speak French at home with my wife because our relationship is based in English and more. As I’ve said before, my French is not that great but my excuses are improving all the time. 

Anyway, I would like to take all that pressure off my shoulders and just come at this a bit more fresh, as if I have no idea that I’m climbing a big mountain – I’m just going for a great walk in the countryside and I’m enjoying the view.

Things to improve

  • Attitude (I’ve just talked about that – just take it easy on myself, basically)
  • Keep a vocabulary/grammar note book → just a notebook, or perhaps notes on my phone, where I can note down or jot down any little things which I notice and would like to remember. Little phrases, little bits of grammar or structures that keep coming up, little reminders of pronunciation. I can check an online French dictionary or even ChatGPT or other online tools like DeepL translator. Online translators can be extremely useful tools – just don’t use them to cheat (to writing all your emails and stuff), use them to help you learn.
  • Check my note book later and remind myself of what I noted down.
  • Practise by testing myself – simply covering up some words with my thumb, reading things out loud and then running them through Google Translate to hear them said, in order to check my pronunciation (Not translating, just making Google Translate say the French I’m learning)
  • Devote just 10 minutes a day to doing some reading or listening in French and then investigating the language I notice with my note book.
  • Try to convert listening to speaking, and reading to writing. Repeat some of the things I’ve heard. Write down some of the things I’ve read. ChatGPT can help with the writing – just ask it to correct you and perhaps explain your errors. Other chatbots are available of course. And I only mention ChatGPT here in case you can’t find or can’t afford a human teacher.
  • Consider taking some one-to-one lessons with a human being perhaps on iTalki.

    I have to sort out my time management for this. All my time is used up at the moment, but I should make time.

Questions for you

  • What do you think of the things I just said? 
  • I mean, did it make you think of your situation at all?

Maybe it just made you think of me and my language learning. To be honest, I don’t really want you to analyse and diagnose my language learning situation. I’m not looking for advice or help with my French, I’m just using it as a little example.

  • Did it encourage you to reflect on your English?

I strongly suspect that your English is better than my French, so your concerns might be a bit different to mine.  You’re probably looking for ways to get out of the intermediate plateau, or ways of progressing to a very proficient level of English. I have people with a pretty wide variety of English levels listening to this, from pretty low-level people who only just manage to follow what I am saying (you have my respect) to non-native speakers who are really advanced and even teach English as a living, and who just enjoy listening to another teacher do his thing, and want to maintain their level and keep their English alive and fresh (you have my respect too).

Anyway, with my own example as a case study, I gave some suggestions of little ways to work on your language there, beyond just listening to this podcast. 

Maybe that can give you some inspiration or ideas.

But really, the main thing I want to get across to you here is the importance of having a positive relationship with the language you are learning.

So, for me and my French, the things I will hold in my mind are

  1. The positive experience I had at the cooking class
  2. The comfort and enjoyment I experience from reading graphic novels in French

Hey! Leave a comment!

I have something to ask you. Please comment on this episode. Spread some positivity in the comment section. I want to encourage you to give any positive comment that you can right now. This will be good for you as it will help you realise something positive about your English and will give you a little bit of writing practice, but it will also be good for everyone else because it can help to create a good vibe and also can give people some inspiration and some general support in their English learning.

  • What positive experiences have you had with English?
  • What do you love about learning English?
  • What little methods, exercises or resources have helped with your English?
  • What have you enjoyed in English lately?

Leave your thoughts in the comment section.

Summary 

Sometimes I worry that I am too wordy and the main core message of what I am saying gets watered down by the slightly long-winded way in which I put things. It’s probably fine and I just worry too much about these things, or something. Anyway, I want this episode to be clear, so I’ve asked ChatGPT to summarise the things I just said to you. I entered the text which I wrote on my sofa over the last few days and which I have read to you, and asked it to summarise it for me. 

This is what it wrote.

Here’s what it said. 

The text you provided is an extensive reflection on English language learning and personal experiences related to language acquisition. The author encourages listeners to assess their progress over the past year, emphasizing the importance of reflective practice and mindfulness in language learning.
The piece delves into various aspects:
1. **Looking back:** Encouraging individuals to consider their progress in English over the past year. Reflecting on what has worked positively, identifying experiences that have impacted learning, and acknowledging both positive and negative moments.
2. **Acknowledging learning challenges:** Addressing the common feeling of being stuck in the “intermediate plateau” and offering encouragement to persist despite feeling stagnant. Emphasizing that progress may not always be immediately visible but is still happening.
3. **Adopting a positive attitude:** Encouraging a positive mindset, emphasizing that failures and setbacks are part of the learning process. Highlighting the importance of perseverance and staying committed to learning.
4. **Suggestions for improvement:** Offering personal experiences with learning French and outlining strategies for improvement, such as keeping a vocabulary/grammar notebook, practicing reading and listening, and exploring speaking opportunities.
5. **The importance of enjoying the learning process:** Stressing the significance of enjoying the journey of learning a language and removing self-imposed pressure to achieve perfection.
6. **Encouragement for sharing experiences:** Inviting listeners to share positive experiences, effective learning methods, and resources in English.
7. **Future goals:** Posing questions about how individuals want to spend the next 12 months, emphasizing the value of enjoying time spent learning English, and expressing enthusiasm for continuing the podcast journey.
Overall, the text serves as a reflective guide, encouraging learners to consider their language learning journeys, embrace challenges, find joy in the process, and engage with the learning community by sharing experiences and positive energy.

A note about AI chatbots like ChatGPT

Sometimes listeners on YouTube post AI-written summaries of my episodes in the comment section and they’re usually a bit wrong, for example the AI seems confused by moments of humour or comedy in my episodes, or by funny little conversational tangents and doesn’t seem to be able to distinguish between those tangential moments and the main topic of the episode, and so its summaries are a bit off the mark. I’m talking about Tammy AI here. I don’t know if it uses the same engine as ChatGPT. Anyway, that summary which ChatGPT gave me for this episode is good and I’m happy with it. 

By the way, I’m not relying on ChatGPT here, overusing it and becoming dependent on it. I say that because I think some people out there are wary of ChatGPT and see any use of it as being a slippery slope to over-reliance on it and therefore a sort of slipping of standards. But I think that AI can be used sparingly and to good effect, and that summary is an example of that. It came up with that summary in seconds. I read it, checked it and decided to use it.

Speaking challenges

I said before that I would give you some ideas for speaking and writing challenges. So here are some things you can do to work on your productive skills in English.

Working on your speaking

In a perfect world you will have people to talk to, and you can just have these long conversations, practise expressing yourself for long periods until you are really tired and that night you fall asleep with your mind whizzing and whirring with English words, structures and pronunciation. But, for so many of you out there, you don’t have this opportunity.

You could try joining a community of English speakers. For example, Zdenek has a Discord server called The Achievers Chamber which is a place where you can practise speaking with other learners of English who have a similar level to you. https://teacherzdenek.com/?page_id=2816 

Or you can go to italki.com www.teacherluke.co.uk/talk and find a person there to talk to, or a teacher to have lessons with. There are teachers from all over the world including the UK, Ireland, Canada, Australia, USA etc. 

You have to pay for this of course, and sometimes it can take time to find the right teacher or conversation partner for you, but it can be an effective way to find someone for speaking practice with feedback and also lessons for specific purposes. By the way, if you use my link you can get a $10 voucher when you buy some lessons on italki www.teacherluke.co.uk/talk

You could also enrol in language classes in a language school near you, like The British Council, and you’ll probably find that they offer courses which include lessons on vocabulary, grammar, pronunciation and all that stuff. You might not find specific classes only for speaking and feedback though. You’ll have to check the BC’s website for more information. See if they have a teaching centre near you, and what services they offer. They also have online courses. https://www.britishcouncil.org/english/adults  

But even if you can’t access English speakers or teachers for conversations and language feedback, you can still find ways to practise your speaking on your own. You just have to think outside the box a little bit and be prepared to do something that seems a bit unconventional, like speaking to yourself. Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you’re weird, and if someone overhears you and wonders what you’re doing, just say “it’s ok – there’s nothing to worry about – Luke told me to do it.” and they’ll say “Who is Luke?” and then you’ll have to just make them listen to LEP and then they’ll become LEPsters and my evil plan will finally come to fruition and I’ll take over the world. 

Talk to yourself

Just try talking to yourself, out loud, in English. There are many things you can talk about or try to do (there are ideas coming). 

Simply the act of attempting to express yourself out loud in English is good practice. When you get stuck and you realise you don’t know how to say something you want to say, you can just go to Google Translate (other translators are available – DeepL for example) and just write what you want to say in your language and translate it into English. You can also press the “audio” button to hear how to pronounce it. 

This is not cheating. It’s using Google Translate as a tool.

You might think that Google Translate is a bad thing, it’s cheating, it’s lazy, it’s bad for your English or it’s unreliable. Well, it’s actually pretty good I find, as long as it’s not the only thing you are working with.

There’s also ChatGPT with the Google Chrome extention “Voice control for ChatGPT, which allows you to just ask questions to ChatGPT, get it to translate things for you, and listen to it say its responses. You can control things like speaking speed and different accents. It’s no replacement for speaking to an actual human, but if you see it as a tool for certain kinds of controlled practice, it can be pretty useful!

So, consider using things like Google Translate or ChatGPT as tools to help you practise speaking on your own. 

If you don’t know what to talk about, here are some ideas.

  1. Commentary
    Give a commentary of all the things you are doing while doing them.
  2. Commentary in the past
    While you are doing things, talk about them as if they happened in the past. Imagine you’re in the future and you’re describing all the things you did.
  3. Shadowing
    Listen to a short audio clip or video in English and try to imitate the speaker’s pronunciation, intonation, and rhythm. Repeat the sentences or phrases immediately after hearing them. There are specific episodes in the premium subscription designed to help you do this.
  4. Record yourself
    Pick a topic or a short passage (maybe a topic from a podcast episode, or a passage from an episode with a transcript – like a story episode), read it aloud, and record your voice. Then, listen to the recording and analyse your pronunciation, intonation, and fluency. Take note of areas that you could improve.
  5. Monologue or ramble challenge
    Choose a topic or an object around you and talk about it for a few minutes as if you’re giving a presentation. You can discuss its features, uses, history, or any related information.
  6. Role play
    Act out conversations between different characters or personas. You can use scripts from movies, TV shows, or even create your own scenarios. This helps with practicing natural language flow and expressions. Also, you can just talk to yourself. Try it now! (I’ll demonstrate it if you like)
  7. Describe and Explain
    Take an object, a picture, or a scene and describe it in as much detail as possible. This exercise helps in expanding vocabulary and enhancing descriptive skills.
  8. Debate with yourself
    Choose a topic you’re interested in and argue both sides of the debate. Express your opinions, provide reasons, and counter-arguments as if you were having a real discussion.
  9. Storytelling
    Create and narrate stories. It can be a personal experience, a fictional tale, or a summary of a book or movie. Just describe what happened. My StoryTime episodes in the premium subscription are specifically designed to help you do this. 
  10. Sing along and karaoke
    Practice singing along to English songs. It can help with pronunciation, rhythm, and intonation. You can also find karaoke versions of songs on YouTube with the lyrics on the screen and sing them as if you’re performing. Just remember that songs often break the rules of grammar and pop songs are usually sung in an American accent, not that there’s anything wrong with that of course.
  11. Read Aloud
    Choose a book, article, or any text in English, and read it aloud. Focus on clear pronunciation, appropriate pauses, and intonation as if you’re narrating it for an audience. If you also have the audio version of that text, you can listen to it and compare it to your version. I talked about the benefits of doing this in episode 794. 

If you have other cool ideas, feel free to share them in the comments section.

Remember, the key to improvement is regular practice. Mix and match these activities based on your preferences and gradually increase the difficulty level as you progress. But remember, self-assessment and feedback are really important for monitoring your improvement.

Again, consider recording yourself and listening back. 

Also consider using Voice Control for ChatGPT and talking to it, and then ask it to give you feedback. You can say “I am going to speak English to you. Can you give me some feedback on my English, and correct some of my errors?” Then speak for a few minutes. It will focus on things like grammar and vocabulary, rather than pronunciation though. But if you notice that you’re saying certain words and ChatGPT is hearing other words, it might mean you are pronouncing those words wrong, and then it;’s time to use Google Translate to check the pronunciation of the word or words you’re having trouble with. Of course, good online dictionaries have phonetic translations and audio recordings too.

Writing challenges

  • Write a diary or journal
    YOu can simply describe the things you did, or write about your feelings. Either way, it’s good to get into the habit of trying to express yourself in written English.

But it’s important to remember that we normally write certain kinds of text and so you should probably practise writing in these modes.

Here are the kinds of text you might have to write. This is the sort of thing that comes up in writing sections of Cambridge Exams

  • A for/against essay
  • A business report or academic report with an introduction, findings and conclusion
  • An informal letter to a friend or family member describing an event or planning something
  • A formal business letter to get or give information
  • A business proposal (similar to a report but with a recommendation at the end)
  • A short fiction story
  • A covering letter or personal statement for a job application

Again, I am going to refer to ChatGPT here, but there’s no denying how helpful it can be here, in lieu of a real human teacher.

Here’s a template for a ChatGPT prompt which you can use to create writing tasks.

Write this prompt. You can change the underlined part depending on what kind of writing you want to practise.

Can you give me a short writing task to help me practise my English? I’d like to write a business email. Can you give me some feedback on my writing, and also provide me with an example answer for your task?

ChatGPT will give you the task, then tell you to write your text as a reply and it will give you some feedback. It will also give you a sample answer to your task which you can use as a model to copy / get ideas from. 

Here’s ChatGPT’s response to my prompt:

Absolutely! Here’s a scenario for your business email:
**Scenario: You work for a software company and need to email a client regarding a delay in delivering a project. The client has been eagerly anticipating the completion of the project and is expecting it by the end of the month. Craft an email to notify the client about the delay, explain the reasons behind it, and reassure them about the revised timeline.**
When you draft your email, make sure to maintain a professional tone, be transparent about the situation, offer apologies for the inconvenience caused by the delay, and propose a revised timeline or solution.
For feedback and an example answer:
When you’ve written your email, you can share it here for review and feedback. Additionally, I’ll provide an example email response for the scenario described above:
Subject: Update on Project Delivery Timeline
Dear [Client’s Name],
I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to provide an update on the status of the project we’ve been working on.
Regrettably, I must inform you that there has been a slight delay in the delivery of the project. We understand the importance of this project to your business objectives, and please accept our sincerest apologies for any inconvenience this delay may cause.
The primary reason for the delay is a need for additional testing and refinement to ensure the final product meets the high-quality standards we’ve committed to delivering. Our team encountered unexpected technical issues during the final phase of development, which required more thorough testing and adjustments than initially anticipated.
We are fully committed to delivering a flawless product that exceeds your expectations. To ensure the highest quality and functionality, we estimate that the project will be completed and ready for delivery by [Revised Date].
Rest assured, our team is actively addressing the challenges, and we are implementing strategies to expedite the process without compromising the quality of the final product.
In the meantime, we will provide regular updates on the progress to keep you informed about the status of the project. Your satisfaction remains our top priority, and we appreciate your understanding and continued trust in our services.
Should you have any questions or require further clarification, please do not hesitate to reach out to me directly.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Best regards,
[Your Name][Your Position][Your Contact Information]
Feel free to use this example as a reference while drafting your email. Once you’ve composed your message, share it here for feedback, and I’ll be glad to assist further!

So, you can use that prompt to ask ChatGPT to give you similar tasks, feedback and model.

By the way, I couldn’t help having a bit of fun with ChatGPT and I decided to write a really terrible response to the task it gave me. I just wanted to see what feedback it would give me.

Here’s my answer to your task.
Sorry mate but I ain’t done that thing you wanted cos sh*t got intense and I had to stay at home. Sorry about that can you give me more time though and it’ll get done proper innit bruv. Alright boss.

Here’s the feedback ChatGPT gave me. It showed great restraint here. If one my my students had given me this work I would not have been quite so professional I think.

Your message has a casual tone, which may not be suitable for a professional business email. To maintain a more formal and professional approach, consider the following revised version:
Subject: Extension Request for Project Delivery
Dear [Client’s Name],
I sincerely apologize for the delay in delivering the project as initially planned. Unfortunately, unforeseen circumstances arose, requiring my urgent attention and presence at home.
I understand the importance of this project and the inconvenience caused by this delay. I assure you that I am fully committed to completing the project promptly and to the highest standard possible.
Could I kindly request an extension of [X amount of time] to ensure the project is finalized thoroughly and accurately? This additional time will enable me to dedicate the necessary focus and effort to ensure a successful outcome.
I appreciate your understanding and flexibility in this matter. Please be assured that I am prioritizing the completion of the project and will strive to exceed your expectations.
Thank you for your patience and cooperation.
Best regards,
[Your Name][Your Position][Your Contact Information]
This revised version maintains a polite and professional tone while effectively communicating the need for an extension. Feel free to incorporate this structure and tone into your future business emails for a more formal and appropriate approach.

OK, so that brings us to the end of this episode.

Well done for getting to the end. I trust you have not turned into a skeleton with headphones on. Do let me know that you are still breathing and that you found this episode to be useful.

What about that vocabulary highlighted in that lurid green colour on the PDF?

As I said before, I will devote a premium episode (maybe a series) to this vocabulary. So, you’ll need to be a premium subscriber to get that. Did I mention my premium subscription at all?

www.teacherluke.co.uk/premiuminfo 

But here is a list of all those highlighted expressions for your reference.

DID YOU NOTICE THIS VOCABULARY IN THIS EPISODE?

I’ll be explaining all of this in an upcoming Premium episode. 

  • watch out for some of the words and phrases highlighted in lurid green on the PDF
  • A lot of people will be turning over a new leaf and trying to make a fresh start with their English. Is that you? 
  • It’s a podcast for learners of English. I’m Luke. Hence the title of the show – Luke’s English Podcast. 
  • There are audio versions and video versions of this podcast. Let me explain that to the uninitiated
  • If you’re already initiated into the world of podcasting, that all might strike you as being very obvious
  • I just love doing this podcast and hopefully my enthusiasm will rub off on you and will encourage you in your journey
  • What inspiring words of wisdom can I impart? What sage-like advice can I give?” 
  • And after I had lowered my expectations for myself and just started writing, this is what came out. 
  • Listen carefully and hopefully you will get swept up in what I’m saying and the outcome will be that you’ll get a renewed sense of positivity and possibility for your English this year. 
  • This is a time when we look back and survey the year we’ve just completed, then look forward to the forthcoming 12 months and consider how we’re going to spend that time.
  • I want to encourage you and help you to take stock of your English learning at this moment in time.
  • “errr, I dunno actually”
  • you’re just not being very mindful about your relationship with English 
  • you’re not really that aware of the ways that you are learning this language
  • ou listen to my episodes, do other things in English sometimes but you don’t reflect on it all in an objective way
  • To be honest, I doubt that you fit the description I just mentioned. 
  • in fact maybe you are very conscious of it, and take quite a  metacognitive approach to it – maybe you are constantly analysing and strategising the way you learn English
  • Are you waiting for some kind of breakthrough moment?
  • Do you feel like you’re on a long plateau?
  • You just have to be willing to stick with it.
  • Sometimes you get stuck in a rut, or stuck in a routine
  • it feels like you’re going over the same ground 
  • getting any significant feelings of reward moments of triumph or glory.
  • You can’t have those moments all the time. Sometimes they are few and far between.
  • With English you have to put in a lot of hours.
  • you have to see the bigger picture
  • Imagine it like a long journey. (trip, journey, travel)
  • But at other times you have to travel along a long flat plain and it can feel like you’re not even moving at all. 
  • This can make you feel disheartened
  • the time you have spent with it will pay off somehow.
  • the more you are exposed to English as a living thing like this, the better your position is,
  • when you’re on the spot and you’re in conversation with someone
  • keep going, keep the faith,
  • Keep your chin up.
  • consider shaking things up a bit, adopting some new habits maybe
  • watch some stuff in English or occasionally speak it when the need arises
  • I must say that puts you in a select group of extremely special people.
  • this podcast is best consumed as part of a balanced diet.
  • getting into a negative mindset
  • one of those people who simply doesn’t have what it takes to use this language effectively
  • you just have to maintain some good habits, a positive mental attitude, a sense of enjoyment and perhaps a sense of drive to push things further.
  • How can you put your best foot forwards and repeat some of the successes of the last year and build on them
  • this continues in a generally upward trajectory.
  • To demonstrate this a bit, let me reflect on my learning of French
  • Here are some notes which I will expand on.
  • Reading graphic novels
  • This really just means getting out of my bubble
  • I just become cut off from the French I’m hearing
  • Being a bit more gregarious and outgoing 
  • Don’t beat myself up
  • part of what holds me back with my French is this sense of pressure that I should be a master language learner 
  • you need to push through things like slightly boring or unexciting language practice exercises
  • just take it easy on myself, basically
  • notes on my phone, where I can note down or jot down any little things which I notice
  • I don’t really want you to analyse and diagnose my language learning situation
  • I strongly suspect that your English is better than my French
  • Sometimes I worry that I am too wordy and the main core message of what I am saying gets watered down by the slightly long-winded way in which I put things. 
  • The piece delves into various aspects
  • its summaries are a bit off the mark
  • some people out there are wary of ChatGPT and see any use of it as being a slippery slope to over-reliance on it and therefore a sort of slipping of standards
  • AI can be used sparingly and to good effect
  • you are really tired and that night you fall asleep with your mind whizzing and whirring with English words

my evil plan will finally come to fruition and I’ll take over the world.