Join me on another rambling episode as I encourage ninjas to come out of the shadows 🥷, touch on some present perfect continuous verb forms 🔁, give some podcast updates, give a report about the stand-up comedy show 😂 & live podcast recording 🎤, teach some polite and diplomatic language with a dramatic bank robbery scenario 🔫, give a summary of the UK’s general election results 🗳️ & more…
Talking to bilingual journalist Charles Pellegrin (France 24) about how the conventions of broadcast journalism influence the way the English is used in news reports, how Charles started as a journalist, the challenge of making TV news reports, our time at university, the Olympics in Paris, and Charles’ experiences of living and working in China.
My guest today is Charles Pellegrin, a bilingual (English & French) journalist working for the TV channel France 24. Charles currently works as the presenter of a morning business program, but used to be based in China, where he lived in Beijing for 3 years. Charles also does stand-up comedy in English, which is how I know him, and we are doing a 2-man show together this Friday, 19 July 2024 (details below).
In this conversation we talk about why reporters speak in a certain way when they read the news, how the conventions of broadcast journalism influence the way the English is used, how Charles started as a journalist, the challenge of making TV news reports, our experiences at university, the Olympics in Paris and whether it will be beneficial for France, and Charles’ experiences of living and working in China.
Talking with Rob from The Business English Podcast about networking in English. 🗣️ Networking is when you speak to other people, probably in a professional context, in order to build relationships, expand your social circle and make work contacts that can lead to business opportunities in the future. This is all about socialising, speaking spontaneously, active listening and being aware of cultural factors which can affect everything. Listen to the episode to hear plenty of comments, anecdotes, advice and language tips relating to networking in English in a professional context.
Hang out with me while the rain pours down outside 🌧️ and in this episode I’ll talk about the problem of “faffing around” 😵💫 , podcast news & updates 📲, some stand-up comedy dates 🎤, comments on recent episodes 💬, some common questions from listeners 🙋, a lot of rambling about how I learned to play music 🎵, a tour of all the guitars in my podcast room 🎸 and a song at the end 🎶, with lyrics explained 👨🏫.
Here’s a list of jokes about different countries which I found on the website Bored Panda. I’ll tell you the jokes and then explain them all (dissecting the frog), including any homophones, double meanings or specific cultural references. Can you “get” the jokes? Do you find any of them funny, or are they all just terrible dad jokes? And, what vocabulary can you learn in the process? Includes a vocabulary review at the end of the episode.
In this episode we’re going to read some jokes about different countries in the world, and I’m going to use them to help you learn English.
They’re not really jokes about countries. They’re mainly just jokes based on the country names. So I won’t be making fun of specific countries or anything.
I’ve found a list of 100 jokes.
Jokes like these…
👍
#12
Which country’s capital city is growing the fastest?
Ireland.
Because every day it’s Dublin.
doubling??
Some of these jokes are very stupid.
Some of them are terrible.
But some of them are actually pretty funny 😅
This is all just a bit of fun, but also it’s a chance to learn some vocabulary.
Before we continue, I need to make several jokes about my country: The UK
A map of the UK
It’s just there, under that huge rain storm.
More specifically, England
Football
What do you call an English man in the World Cup final?
The referee.
British Food
Well, this is how our biscuits are sold in France
C’est Anglais, mais c’est bon !
Translation:
It’s English, but it’s good.
*Actually they’re Scottish
*Actually the company is owned by a Turkish confectionery conglomerate
And I’m sure you could write plenty of jokes about our Royal Family…
But you don’t really need to
Subtext: They’re already quite funny aren’t they?
I don’t mean to be rude about our king, but apparently he has a sense of humour, so I’m sure he doesn’t mind.
cheers
Can you understand these jokes?
If you understand a joke you can say
“I get it”
If you don’t understand why it’s supposed to be funny, you’d say
“I don’t get it”
If you understand it, but you think it isn’t funny, you can just groan.
🤦
There will be VOCABULARY
I will explain every joke that you hear in this episode, including
any double meanings
any homophones (words which sound the same but which are different)
or any other little cultural details
I have only had
a very quick look
at this list of jokes.
I found this joke list on the website BoredPanda.com. There are 100 jokes in the list, but I’ve only seen about the first 15 jokes.
I haven’t seen the rest.
So I am going to be reading most of these for the first time, so let’s discover these jokes together.
Disclaimer:
This might not be funny
at all 😐
It’s necessary to say this again…
I will dissect these jokes. You might learn some English,
but the jokes will probably die in the process.
Sorry jokes, and sorry frogs.
🐸
But don’t worry. No actual frogs will be harmed during the making of this episode.
And when I say “frogs” I’m not talking about French people 🇫🇷
“Dissecting the frog” or explaining jokes is something I’ve been doing on this podcast for years.
by a listener called Evgenia
a T-shirt design by a listener called Adel (available in my merch store
England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies, “I didn’t think you needed one to get into Australia anymore.”
One day Canada will rule the world… Then you’ll all be sorry.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Why do the French eat snails? They don’t like fast food.
Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France. Just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
I asked my friend in North Korea how he was. He said he can’t complain.
Germany and France go to war. Who loses? Belgium.
What do you call a vegan Viking? A Norvegan!
How do you get a Canadian to apologize? Step on their foot.
Which country’s capital is growing the fastest? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
What does the Loch Ness monster eat? Fish and ships.
Want to hear a Swedish joke? Never mind. There’s Norway I could Finnish it.
What do frogs eat in Paris? French flies.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman enter a bar. The Englishmen wanted to go, so they all had to leave.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
Why haven’t Americans changed their weighing method from pounds to kilograms? Because they don’t want mass confusion!
How does every Russian joke start? By looking over your shoulder.
I have a Russian friend who’s a sound technician. And a Czech one too. A Czech one too.
What kind of birds can you find in Portugal? Portugeese.
What was the most popular kids’ movie in Ancient Greece? Troy Story.
What is the most common scam in Egypt? Pyramid schemes.
What happened to the American who went to the hospital with a broken leg? He went broke.
In which country is Prague located? Hold on let me Czech.
Is “Africa” by Toto a country song? No, it’s a continent song.
What did the Kiwi say to the Rabbi? Hee Broo.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
Germany once organized the International Fun Conference. It wasn’t funny but it was indeed well organized.
Two very old men of European nationality meet While talking, one asks: “You watching the football game?” The other says: “Who’s playing?” “Austria-Hungary”, says the first. “Against whom?”
An introverted Finn looks at his shoes when talking to you; an extroverted Finn looks at your shoes.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play? To get away from the noise.
Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them? So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!
How was copper wire invented? Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.
What are Greek houses made out of? Greeks and con-Crete!
Why is it hard to make friends in Antarctica? Because you can’t break the ice.
What pan is the best to make sushi in? Japan.
What will an Australian chess player say to a Czech person while making the winning move? Czech mate.
A friend in Germany tells me everyone’s panic buying sausages and cheese. It’s the Wurst Käse scenario.
What do you call a bunch of bullies from Malta? Maltesers.
Ever since my girlfriend moved to Siberia things haven’t been the same. She’s so cold and distant.
The Sahara Desert drifts into a bar and the bartender says… “Long time no sea.”
Did you hear about the Pole who thought his wife was trying to kill him? On her dressing table, he found a bottle of “Polish Remover.”
I’ve heard that Argentina is starting to get a little colder… In fact, it’s bordering on Chile.
What’s Santa’s nationality? North Polish.
What genre are national anthems? Country.
Did you hear McDonalds will stop serving fries in Switzerland? The Swiss don’t take sides.
Vocabulary List (listen to the episode for my explanations)
Top tips for spontaneous speaking 🏆 with communication expert Matt Abrahams, a professor at the Stamford Graduate School of Business, California. Matt is a leading expert in his field and his latest book “Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You’re Put on the Spot” gives you clear, academically-researched advice on how to deal with anxiety, focus on making connections, improve your mindset, learn to listen, and find really useful structures to help you become a more spontaneous and successful speaker.
Listen to me rambling about Daylight Saving Time, weird AI generated images for Luke’s English Podcast, and lots of comments and responses to recent episodes including the Birthday Party story 🎂 , the MBTI Personality Test 🙇 and the Walk & Talk in Paris 📹🚶.
This episode is all about the different modes of communication that we use beyond the 4 linguistic skills of reading, writing, listening speaking. My guest is Nik Peachey who has helped to write a new paper published by OUP called Multimodality in ELT: communication skills for today’s generation. Listen to Nik and me chatting about the importance of multimodal literacy in our social interactions and in the ways we consume and produce media online.
This episode is a conversation all about multimodality in communication. My guest is Nik Peachey, who will introduce himself to you in a few minutes when the conversation part of this episode begins.
Let me give you a bit of background information about how this episode came about, and what the main topic of conversation is.
I was contacted by OUP (they publish academic materials for English teachers and learners – course books but also teacher training materials for English teachers).
They have published a paper about multimodality in ELT and they wanted to see if I was interested in doing an interview with one of the people involved in the writing of this paper. The paper is called Multimodality in ELT: Communication Skills for Today’s Generation.
I thought “Hmm, multimodality, that’s a nice word – sounds interesting”. I was also aware of Nik Peachey already – he’s a fairly well-known figure in the world of English language teaching and publishing, especially in the UK. He’s a name you see at things like teaching conferences or in teacher training.
So I replied to OUP and said I was interested, they sent me a copy of the paper they have published and we arranged this interview, which actually took place a couple of months ago. It turned out to be a very interesting and wide-ranging conversation about so many things.
Let’s consider the title of that paper again “Multimodality in ELT: Communication Skills for Today’s Generation”.
Basically, this is all about how as teachers we always need to be aware of the ways in which learners of English need to use English to communicate in the world today. This involves looking at communication and considering how that happens, and also considering how changes in technology are having an effect.
How do we communicate? Is it just through language? How is our communication affected by advancements in technology?
What OUP are saying, with this paper, is that more and more our communication is multimodal, which means that we communicate in a variety of different ways or modes.
This is not just in terms of the 4 skills – speaking, listening, reading and writing. That is, traditionally, how communication has been defined.
Those are all linguistic or verbal modes (language based), but there are more communication modes than that, including non-verbal ones which are still hugely important. This includes body language, but there is a lot more than that, especially when you consider how much of our communication is mediated through technology these days.
To try and break this down, let’s think about this in two areas: social interactions (the way we speak and listen to each other face to face), and the way we consume media (content such as video, audio, texts).
There is also how these two things (social interactions and media) combine because more and more we use media to communicate – write texts and emails, do video calls, and combine text, images, video and audio to create social media posts.
So, let’s consider these two areas then: social interactions, and media, and let’s think about how they are multimodal – how they involve many various forms of communication.
In terms of social interactions there’s verbal communication (the words we’re using etc) but also body language, facial expressions, gestures, appearance, physical proximity. Also cultural factors come into play such as pop culture references that we use, or different social codes of behaviour in different cultures.
To communicate successfully we need to have an awareness of those social factors.
*Give an example of how I have to consider these things as an English teacher talking to my class – body language, facial expressions, gestures, appearance, physical proximity, cultural references, social codes of behaviour*
The second area is the way multimodality relates to the way we consume media – for example if you watch some video content online, understanding the various ways in which that media is constructed. How certain visuals are important, the use of certain tropes, the use of different fonts, different colours, different editing techniques, music and so on. Understanding these things allows us to decode the media we see, and this is crucial in understanding the intentions behind content we are exposed to, which in turn helps us to detect things like misinformation or just the purpose of the video.
For example, if you show a certain online video to someone who has very little multimodal awareness (like your grandmother or something) it’s not uncommon for this person just to be completely confused by what they’re seeing, or to experience some kind of culture shock. Imagine playing a video of Davie504 on YouTube to my grandmother. By the way Davie504 is an extremely successful YouTuber who makes very distinctive and funny videos about playing the bass guitar. If my gran watched one of his videos, I genuinely think she would not know what was going on. That’s because she isn’t familiar with all the different codes being used.
So it’s important to be have a level of multimodal literacy, so you can properly understand the media you are consuming, but also so that you can also communicate successfully through media yourself, by doing things like creating social media posts which combine sound, video, text and designs.
Nik Peachey is going to give various examples of these things during the conversation, which should help to clarify this all for you.
Ultimately, this is all about the importance of multimodal literacy in both our everyday communication and also in the way we consume content.
I guess for you, as learners of English, you can just consider how language exists as one part of an overall context which also includes things like culture, non-verbal communication, media literacy and more.
I hope you enjoy the conversation!
One note about the sound – I predict that some of you will comment that you found it hard to hear Nik. He’s not using a podcasting or broadcasting microphone, which might make it a little bit hard to hear him at first. You can hear some sounds of the room around him – a bit of echo and reverb. You might have to adjust your ear at the beginning, but you will get used to it. For me, this conversation got more and more interesting as Nik and I got to know each other better and got really into the whole subject of communication in its various modes. I hope you enjoy it too and that it makes you think about how learning English can be about more than just learning words and grammar.
I’ll speak to you again a little bit at the end of the conversation.
The return of the lying game on LEP! Amber, Paul and I play a speaking game which I sometimes use in my English classes. Listen to our stories and try to work out if we are lying or telling the truth. The second half of the episode contains story summaries and vocabulary explanations.
This episode is called The Lying Game #9 with Amber & Paul
To help you understand, enjoy and learn more from this episode, I’m going to explain a coupe of things here at the start.
Some of you might not need this introduction – it depends on your level of English – you can just skip forwards if you want, it’s only a few minutes. But my comments here are designed to be helpful.
This is another conversation with my friends Amber and Paul and we’re going to play a speaking activity called The Lying Game. I know a lot of you are already familiar with this game, but for the uninitiated – this game is something of a tradition on this podcast. It is based on a speaking activity which I’ve been using in my English classes for about 15 years. You’ll hear us recap the rules of the game in a moment, but it’s very simple. Basically, just listen carefully and try to decide if our stories are true or lies.
As you listen, I expect that you might have some questions which you would like answered. Some of those will be language questions about certain words, phrases, bits of pronunciation or grammar. For example, “What does it mean to “fall off the wagon?”, “What’s the difference between fat, fatty and fattening? “ and “is the funnest thing” correct English?”.
Other questions will be about the specific details that you might not catch when listening to our stories – What exactly happened in each case? Wait, was that story a lie or the truth? Which parts were not true, etc? What just happened? What are they going on about?
It can be tricky to listen to three fluent speakers of English (especially close friends) talking quickly together. I know what it’s like because it happens to me in French all the time. There are unfinished sentences, you get connected speech, people talk over each other a bit and interrupt each other.
That does make it tricky to follow, but what I will say is that this is normal, natural, fluent speech and it is important for you to get familiar with it. The more you practise listening to this kind of thing, the more you will be able to follow conversations like this.
But yes, you might have questions as you listen.
So, at the end of this episode, in the last 20 minutes or so, I will help you, by summarising each story and telling you in plain English what happened in each part of the game.
I will also explain quite a lot of vocabulary which comes up – phrases, idioms, specific words etc, like “to fall off the wagon” “to be fattening” and so on.
So, listen to us playing the game, try to work out if we are lying or telling the truth, and I’ll clarify vocabulary at the end and that vocabulary section at the end will be a little taste of the kind of thing that I do in my premium episodes, where I focus on explaining language.
And finally, premium subscribers – have you noticed, I have published parts 1-5 of P56 (which will be an 8 part series in total when it’s all done) This series is all about vocabulary which I used in episode 863 recently, called “You and Your English in 2024” – Remember all the words that I highlighted in that lurid green colour?
That’s the vocabulary I’m clarifying, explaining, teaching and helping you to remember and use in Premium series 56, available now for premium subscribers. There are vocabulary reviews, pronunciation episodes, PDF worksheets, video versions, discussion questions for speaking practice, memory exercises and more.
Just make sure, if you are a subscriber, that you have added LEP premium to a podcast app on your phone. If you have done that you will see episodes 1-5 in your list, with the other parts coming very soon.
Sign into your acast+ account to manage your subscription and add the episodes to a podcast app on your phone (I recommend PocketCasts) https://plus.acast.com/
If you want to sign up to LEP Premium to get access to those episodes – be my guest, just click the link you will find in the show notes of this episode.
But now, back to The Lying Game. I hope you enjoy it. And Stick around until the end to hear me clarifying and explaining some vocabulary.
Oh, and by the way, there is some rude language in this episode, as usual – including the use of a few swear words.
Conversation / Lying Game happens
Notes / Script – after the lying game conversation
How was that for you? I got slightly over-excited in this episode and I couldn’t help butting in with my own comments and jokes here and there. Apologies if that made it a bit harder to keep up. I’m always trying to get the balance right between keeping things simple and keeping things entertaining. But I know what it’s like to listen to a busy conversation between people in another language. It can be tiring, it can be tricky but nevertheless, you made it. Of course it depends on your level of English.
Story Summaries – SPOILER ALERT!
Let me summarise the three stories.
Paul’s Story
Paul said that after his bad show in Portugal, he “fell off the wagon” and got back on the booze.
He got “shitfaced” and despite having a horrible hangover the next day in which he was sick over and over again (lovely, I know) he then continued drinking regularly again.
There was a point of contention here, because…
Amber and I guessed that this was true and Paul said that it was true.
However, there was a point of contention here, because although the first part of that story was true – he did fall off the wagon after that show in Portugal, in fact the other part – that he then continued drinking again after that, was not true. He quickly went back to not drinking after that one, exceptional, evening. So, was this story true or a lie? To be completely honest, according to my rules (if one detail is a lie, the whole story is a lie) this story was a lie, and therefore Amber and I didn’t deserve to get a point.
But, that’s in the past now and in that moment the referee (that’s me, even though I am also playing the game – conflict of interest? Noooo) the referee said that Amber & I were right, so we got the points and then just moved on because we simply didn’t have time to sit around debating it any more. End result – Amber and I got one point each.
Scores: A 1, P 0, L 1
Luke’s Story
Then it was my turn and I said that I once took a hot air balloon ride with Bill Oddie (a tv presenter in the UK) and R2D2’s daughter (the daughter of actor Kenny Baker).
Kenny was there but didn’t actually go up in the balloon because he said that “R2D2 doesn’t fly”. In my story I said that upon hearing this, my brother and I were both a bit confused because R2D2 definitely flies in the Star Wars films, a lot – in all manner of spacecraft. But anyway, that was the story.
Amber and Paul both assumed that this story was completely true, and this is for a few reasons. 1) I almost always tell the truth in this game. 2) the story was way too specific and weird to be made up (they underestimated me) and 3) They just didn’t press me with more questions. If they’d been more inquisitive I’m sure they would have discovered that my story had no substance to it. In any case, Amber and Paul were both fooled and guessed it was true, but ah no, I made it up completely.
To be fair it is based on a true story. Once upon a time, my dad did produce a TV series for BBC Midlands called The Balloon in which a presenter visited different parts of the midlands in a hot air balloon (sounds like something from Alan Partridge), but it was presented by Sue Beardsmore and neither Bill Oddie nor R2D2 actor Kenny Baker (or his daughter) were involved in any way.
James and I were allowed to take a trip in the balloon one day at the end of the filming and it is one of the most memorable experiences of my life. It would have been even more memorable if R2D2 had been involved, but no. I got two points for this because both A & P fell for it completely.
Scores: A 1, P 0, L 3
Amber’s Story
Amber said she had developed a phobia of cows – “bovinophobia”. This was a result of several experiences she had with her family on holiday where they encountered cows in fields (including one time in Argentina) and Amber felt very scared, and since then she has realised that she actually can’t stand cows at all, and can’t even look at some paintings of cows which she saw during her recent art history course, finding their bovine faces strangely repellant. She hasn’t been officially diagnosed as suffering from bovinophobia, but she believes she has it.
But was this true?
Paul thought no, I said yes.
In fact, it was not true. Although Amber is definitely wary of cows, she doesn’t have a phobia of them. Remember, a phobia is the irrational fear of something. Being very scared of something when there’s really no reason to be scared of it. But Amber’s fear of cows is completely reasonable and logical considering they do actually kill quite a lot of people each year by trampling them to death. But she is not scared of pictures of cows, so her fear is not irrational or extreme (which is how a phobia is defined).
Final scores! A2, P1, L3
Vocabulary List
A little taste of LEP Premium here – just a tiny taste because I am not going to go into a lot of detail here and you don’t get all the other peripheral things like extra examples, memory exercises, pronunciation exercises, speaking questions etc.
Listen to the episode to hear my explanations.
You treated us to lunch
It’s one of thefunnest things to do
Is this true or is it made upbullcrap?
It was a rough show
I relapsed from alcohol
I got completely shitfaced
So you fell off the wagon
He still looks quite svelte. You do look in good shape.
I needed to stop. I needed to get fit.
Alcohol is very fattening.
I vomited. I threw up. [I was sick. I puked.]
You gave up drinking. You quit booze.
He’s back on the booze now. It’s a slippery slope.
A year of sobriety. Adam was not the most supportive of your sobriety. [to be sober]
Hair of the dog.
You never lie and [your story] is too obscure. (too obscure to be made up – she doubts my imagination)
He’s very old. He’s got aplethora of stories.
Oh ye of little faith, you didn’t think I had it in me to lie.
We should have known [that he was lying] but honestly he’s got such a track record [so we expected him to be consistent and to tell the truth again].
People get trampled by them (cows).
You’re repelled by the image of a cow.
Their fleshybovine bodies shifting left to right as they try to position themselves against the fence to have a look at you.
I started getting anxious, scared, nervous. (these words are similar. Nervous does not mean angry).
Farmers put their hand all the way inside the rear end of a cow.
Horses are renownedfor kicking you when you’re behind them.
You can get a hoof in the head. hooves (Actually, I’m not sure someone said these exact words, but I think the word “hoof” did come up)
Cows are all squishedup close to each other.
How do you feel when you get on line 9 at 9AM in the morning, and there are a lot of people mooingaround.
I don’t have animosity towards cows. [You just don’t want to get trampled]
You have a rational fear of cows rather than an irrational fear.
Flimsy naked monkies
A monkey with alopecia – [it was] ripped! They are just all muscle.
A monkey jumped out and I thought “that monkey can have me any day”
It was just like a bloke, a massive bloke.
The Zenith show (January 6) already happened so you can’t get tickets for it any more. I talked about it in LEP#864.
Thanks to James Kuo (LEPster) for making these two episodes happen.
OK, that’s enough from me I think! I will be back in your eardrums in the next episode.
I have a few more episodes with guests which I recorded late last year to publish and then I am planning to do more solo podcasts for a while, including more stories, which I have been enjoying a lot. Acting and storytelling – lots of fun.
OK, don’t be a ninja – leave a comment. I hope you’re not a skeleton.
Have a great morning, afternoon, evening or night and I will speak to you next time but for now, goodbye!!!
Amber & Paul return to the podcast for another tangential conversation about various things, including why Paul is angry 😤, how Amber gets crushed in her own bed 🛌, how our British children don’t need to wear coats 🧥, the special gifts Luke has prepared for Amber & Paul 🎁, the highs and lows of Paul’s global comedy tour 🎭, how he’s been telling the Russian joke on stage 😐, Amber’s recent trip to London 🇬🇧, The Beatles’ “Now & Then” 🎶, the next step in Paul’s career ⏩, Amber’s kids saying more funny things 👧👦💬 and more…
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