100. Going To The Pub

This is your 100% guide to how to go to the pub in the UK.

Right-click here to download this episode.

Contents
In this episode you’ll learn everything you need to know about going to the pub, including:
-what does a pub look like?
-types of pub
-are you welcome?
-opening times
-how to order
-where to stand
-how to get served
-the order of being served
-buying drinks for others
-tipping
-what to say to the barman
-making conversation with locals
-types of drink
-useful phrases
-what you will find in the pub
-places to sit
-things to do
-smoking
-food
-trouble
-locals
-banter
-football
-pub lunch
-after work drinks
-night out
-beer garden
-What NOT to do
-binge drinking
-getting drunk
-words for ‘drunk’
-the pub in British culture – films, tv shows
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The pub in English films and TV shows, and other videos:
*Comedy is difficult to understand sometimes, especially in another language. If you don’t find any of this funny, never mind!*
This is a scene from classic comedy show Only Fools and Horses. People describe this scene as “the bit when Del Boy falls through the bar”
[youtube www.youtube.com/watch?v=63rcdLeXiU8&w=400&h=301%5D
This is a useful guide to the different kinds of pub you can find in London. Here’s a quick summary: Tourist Pubs – they’re bad because they’re really big, fake, the beer is flat, the food is stodgy. Old Man Pubs (often found in Soho or Mayfair, but anywhere in London really) are great because they’re quite small, authentic, have interesting interior design, friendly people (usually), cheaper, more relaxing, a good place to buy good ale, a good place for banter or intelligent conversation with locals. Hipster Hangouts (typical trendy pubs in East London) are where you find fashionable cutting-edge cool young people. Family Pubs can be found in quieter parts of London, e.g. the suburbs or areas near the river for example near Hammersmith Bridge, which is my neighbourhood. The Dove in Hammersmith that’s my local, and a great pub!
[youtube www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMrBcc5kdSE&w=560&h=315%5D
This is a home-made video. The commentator sounds like a cockney. See what happens when an American goes to a pub in the UK. He makes a few mistakes, the muppet. (‘Muppet’ is a cockney slang word meaning ‘idiot’ – it’s an affectionate insult)
[youtube www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XHyze2trng&w=420&h=315%5D
This is Al Murray The Pub Landlord. He is a comedy character based on the cliche of British pub landlords. He’s patriotic, small minded and ridiculous. He’s a horrible, stupid guy and that is the joke (yes, it’s weird British humour). One thing I should say – this character is a criticism of this kind of stupid character but also a kind of celebration too. It’s complicated.
[youtube www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyGgL_omNbI&w=420&h=315%5D
This clip is from a disgusting, rude and hilarious (in my opinion) BBC comedy called “Bottom”. The show is about two characters called Richie and Eddie. They are both sad lonely perverts who live in London. They are desperate to pick up some girls and ‘have it off’ with them, but they have absolutely no charm whatsoever. They have no luck with women. This is because they are stupid, sex-obsessed, completely unsophisticated and downright rude. In this episode they have bought some ‘sex spray’. This is a chemical which they believe will make them irresistibly attractive towards women. They go to the pub to try and pick up some ‘birds’. In fact, the spray doesn’t work at all. It only attracts dogs, which chase them through the street outside the pub. All their pathetic attempts to seduce the women fail miserably. Richie and Eddie are played by actors Rik Mayall and Ade Edmonson, who are two of the UK’s favourite TV comedy actors. Enjoy the clip, but watch out if you’re easily offended by very crass humour. It’s a rude show, but I love it.
[youtube www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uVWlbh30HM&w=400&h=301%5D
A nostalgic and slightly sad documentary film about the decline of the pub in Britain.
[youtube www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ASxxiuCAcA&w=400&h=301%5D
Barack Obama drinks a pint of Guinness in a pub in Ireland (the best place to drink good Guinness). You might here them saying Slainte (pronounced Slanche), which what they say in Ireland before having a drink (like ‘cheers’ in the UK). Enjoy – and doesn’t it make you want a pint of Guinness?
[youtube www.youtube.com/watch?v=5206QjFWmAk&w=400&h=233%5D