Rambling on my own about all sorts of things including Brexit news, describing my recording setup and microphones, a book recommendation for you, comments about the Beatles Abbey Road 50th Anniversary, the latest Star Wars Episode 9 trailer and Bill Bailey dissecting music in a brilliant way.
Welcome back to LEP. This is part 2 of this mini series I’m going to do about BBC Dragons’ Den, the TV show about entrepreneurs trying to raise finance for their business startups by going to meet the Dragons – a group of 5 business angels looking to make money by investing in interesting new business propositions.
In part 1 of this I did a long business ramble all about the different factors and considerations involved in an entrepreneur attempting to do an investment deal with a private equity investor. That covered loads of vocabulary relating to loads of different areas of business and laid the ground work for this episode in which we are going to use a real pitch from an episode of Dragons’ Den as a case study from which we can learn loads of English.
Also, the story of this particular investment is particularly interesting and the negotiation takes an unexpected turn which creates more emotional drama than you might expect from a business meeting.
So, at the end of part 1 we listened to Kirsty Henshaw’s original pitch. Let’s listen to that again and break it down for language. After that we’ll listen to the rest of the meeting in bits. We’ll listen and then listen again and break it all down.
This should be a really good one! I hope you’re listening carefully. We might be able to get all of this done in this episode, we will see. There are other Dragons’ Den pitches that I’d like to do too so I might add another episode with some other pitches as well. So perhaps this will be a 3 or 4 part series.
Right, so let’s listen to Kirsty Henshaw again and remember my questions from before.
How much investment does she need? £65,000
What equity stake is she offering in return? 15%
What exactly is the product? A healthy alternative to ice-cream – a frozen dessert (free from dairy, sugar, soya, nuts – everything! But what’s actually in it?)
Why does she need the investment? To buy stock, raise brand awareness with marketing and PR
Would you like to invest?
What questions would you like to ask next?
Kirsty’s pitch begins at 44:00
It tastes more like frozen yoghurt. Is that fair? – She wanted a healthy option, similar to ice cream but there’s no dairy that’s why it’s a frozen desert.
How much has it cost so far?
How many have you sold?
– 2,500 units
– Went to a big meeting with a large supermarket – it’s completely unique, some of the staff had heard about it before
Do you have any forecasts in the first year? – 300,000 units – starting to get into bigger places now
How healthy is it? How much fat is in it? – Less than 3% fat in all of them, no sugar in any, carbohydrates are from fruit extracts, a good form of sugar
What are the ingredients? Brown rice milk (because soya isn’t great for children and rice milk is a good digestive enzyme), the fat is organic virgin coconut oil, sweetened with extract of apple, carob and grape.
How far are you down the track with the supermarket? – Min 400 stores from Sept when they do their refresh
Are they committed? – At least 350-400 stores to trial it
Which supermarket is it? – Tesco
They must have asked you whether you could produce in the right volume?
What did you say? – I said yes because I’ve spoken to the manager of the biggest ice cream manufacturers and they can make it no problem, if we get the order (volume – numbers)
Do you have any idea what Tesco’s potentially could order? – At least four flavours for each store to start with
How many in a case?
If they sold one case per week per store, that’s 400 cases. How much do you make per unit? – Just over one pound
So 4,000 per week is what you’d make. That’s 200,000 a year. – Not including my current suppliers
What did you forecast your profit in year one? – £300,000
So that forecast is not a million miles out. There’s some substance around it.
What’s your background? Uni (sports science), but had to leave because mind was on the business
Who is Worhingshaw’s? – Mix of boyfriend and her name – to make it sound like it had been around for a while
Have you really done all this on your own? – Yes
How do you invest the money in this? – 2 jobs and a bit of a night job, and my little boy
You’re pretty amazing aren’t you? – No, not really. [She starts crying] This has been really tough for you hasn’t it? – I just do it all for my little boy. I just want him to have a good life.
I’ve got to be honest with you. I’m finding it really really difficult to actually take on board what you’ve achieved. It’s phenomenal. I’m totally blown away by it. I’m going to make you an offer. You’ve come in here asking for 60,000 for 15% but I want 40%. And I’ll explain to you why. Because I’m not going to give you 60,000, I’m giving you 100,000 because that’s what I believe you need to make this business successful.
Let me tell you where I am. I think you’ve done a great job against all odds, but here’s my blunt and honest truth to you. I’m not going to beat Theo’s offer so I’m not going to waste my time making you one. Thank you very much but I’m out.
Where do you want to take it? You’d love to see this product in every shop. Reggae Reggae Sauce was a big success because of Levi Roots’ whole story. You could be the frozen desert version of Levi Roots.
For that reason I’d like to make you an offer for the full amount but I only want 25% of the company.
Let me wish you every success but you’re not going to need my offer so I’m out (there are already deals on the table).
I’ll match Peter’s offer (£60,000 for 25%)
Kirsty I don’t want to give 40% away but thank you for your offer Theo. I’m really confused now because I know you’re both brilliant. You’re both ideal to help me, so I don’t really know what to do now.
If we raised it to 30% so we got 15% each, I’m more than happy to work with Duncan if that’s something he would accept (yes).
Kirsty I’d really like to work with both of you. It would be ideal so thank you very much I’d really like to accept your offers.
What do you think? Would you like some more Dragons’ Den on the podcast?
A language-focused episode looking at words and phrases that you often see and hear in advertising and sales situations. Also includes discussion of sales techniques, Apple’s sales and marketing strategy and also a classic bit of stand-up by the late great George Carlin.
Here is an episode with Paul all about the subject of advertising and sales, with a bit of marketing thrown in there too. So this is a language-focused episode looking at words and phrases that you often see and hear in advertising and sales situations. It also includes discussion of sales techniques, Apple’s sales and marketing strategy and also a classic bit of stand-up by the late great George Carlin.
The episode starts with a discussion between Paul and me about Paul’s experiences of working in sales jobs at Apple, including selling their products to customers on the shop floor and how Apple markets its products to people. Then we go through a big list of words and phrases relating to sales situations in various ways, including the typical things you might read on packaging, advertising or sales material. The list is pretty long but it all leads up to the comedy sketch at the end, which includes all the phrases. That comedy bit, by the way, does contain some very rude language, so there’s a heads up if that’s not your cup of tea.
So get your vocabulary learning hat on for this episode and also let’s get stuck into the topic of sales and advertising, with Paul.
Positive or Negative?
You’re interested in buying a new product (e.g. a fantastic portable tumbler, or some Southwest Pacific Air). You look at the sales literature for the item and see some of these phrases and conditions. Are they positive or negative?
all sales are final
allow six weeks for delivery
no purchase necessary
batteries not included
each item sold separately
free home trial
and free parking
no cash? no problem!
Leather / leather-style
limited time only
mileage may vary
no down payment
no entry fee
no hidden charges
no payments or interest until September
no one will call on you
no red tape
offer good while supplies last
send no money
so act now
some assembly required
some items not available
some restrictions may apply
two to a customer
So that was Sales and Advertising with Paul.
As usual, let me know your thoughts relating to this episode.
What do you think of sales and advertising?
Do you work in sales? Have you noticed any particular techniques or use of language that helps you sell things?
What do you think of adverts on TV or the way things are promoted to you on the internet?
How do you feel about clickbait? Do you ever click on those articles?
Do you think graffiti is ok in public places? How is that different to advertising in the sense that we don’t get any choice over what is displayed to us in public? What about drawing graffiti on advertising that’s in public spaces?
The subject of sales, advertising and marketing is a big one and I expect to come back to it on the podcast at some point because there’s loads of things we could do with that.
Business English is always something that I’ve saved and never done on the podcast. I was always planning to do a business English podcast or a business English course, but without calling it a business English course, because people don’t seem to like the word business. It sounds all heavy and dark, like the dark side or the Death Star or something. But English in professional situations is really interesting and I’m talking about things like how we negotiate, how we deal with being diplomatic in meetings, how we do presentations and socialise with people. I was actually working on a business course and have loads of unfinished material for it. I must go back to that but in the meantime I might dip into some more businessy subjects in the future. We will see. But let me know about your interest in business English and if you’d like to learn the ways of the dark side and fulfil your destiny and all that stuff.
But for now, it’s pretty much time for the end of the episode. Thank you for listening as usual.
If the spirit moves you, you could leave me a lovely lovely review on iTunes or apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Getting positive reviews helps to promote my podcast on those platforms. It’s more likely to end up in recommended selections and things like that, so it helps the podcast a great deal.
Otherwise, you can always donate with one of the yellow paypal buttons, sign up to LEP Premium at www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium and check out my sponsors italki at www.teacherluke.co.uk/talk
You’ve been listening to Luke’s English Podcast and until next time, good bye bye bye bye…
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Hello everyone and welcome back to this podcast which is made by me in my flat in order to help you learn English and also enjoy learning English too!
If you heard the last episode, you’ll remember that I was planning to play an idioms game with Paul. That’s what you’re going to hear in this episode – a game with Paul in which we have to try to include some idioms into our conversation seamlessly.
What you can do in this episode is not only follow the conversation as usual, but also try to spot all the idioms as they crop up. There are 15 in total. Admittedly, about 3 of them are explained and defined at the beginning, but 12 others are slipped into the conversation and then explained and defined at the end.
So, can you spot all the idioms during the conversation? Do you know them already? Can you work out what they mean from context? This is good practice because it encourages you to pay attention and notice new language as it occurs in natural conversation. Noticing is actually an important skill which can really help with language acquisition.
When learners “notice” new language, they pay special attention to its form, use and meaning. Noticing is regarded as an important part of the process of learning new language, especially in acquisition-driven accounts of language learning, when learners at some point in their acquisition, notice their errors in production. Noticing will only occur when the learner is ready to take on the new language.
A learner might make an error in the use of a preposition, but “notice” its correct use by another learner, or in an authentic text. This might allow them to begin to use it correctly.
It’s an important skill to develop – to be able to notice language, to identify certain bits of grammar, or certain fixed expressions like idioms, notice the form (all the individual words used to create the idiom) and the meaning. It helps you identify differences between your use of English and the way it is used by natives, and that comparison allows you to then adapt your English accordingly. This awareness of what kind of English you’re aiming for is vital.
Developing noticing skills is an important part of developing learner autonomy and your language acquisition skills. The better you are at noticing, the more you are able to learn English by just listening to audio that you enjoy, rather than going through a language coursebook which teaches you specific language items. So, I encourage you to pay special attention during this episode on idioms and fixed expressions. Obviously idioms are confusing because they’re not literal – the whole phrase means something different to the individual words being used.
About the idioms you will hear. These are all very common ones. Some of them you are bound to have heard before and will not be new to you. In a way though, if you have heard them before I’m not concerned. That just means that you’re starting to learn all our idioms, which is a good thing. Remember that you also have to be able to use these idioms, not just understand them. When you do use them, be extra sure that you’re using them 100% correct – for example you’re not using a wrong little word here or there, or perhaps collocating the phrase with the wrong verb or something.
The topic of conversation just happens to be Paul’s brother Kyle who we talk about on the podcast occasionally. In case you don’t know – Kyle Taylor is a professional footballer who plays for the Premiership team Bournemouth FC, although he is still yet to make his Premiership debut. A debut is your first game. So he hasn’t played in the Premiership yet (he’s only about 20) but he has played in the FA Cup.
Alright, so you can listen to Paul and I discussing Kyle and his footballing career, amongst other things, and you have to spot the idioms, which will all be explained at the end. All the idioms are listed on the page for this episode on the website, so check them out there if you want to see specific things like spellings, the specific form of the idioms and so on.
Right, without any further ado, let’s begin!
Remember, all those idioms are listed on the page for this episode. So check them out.
The Idioms List from this game
(to go) back to the drawing board
to mind your Ps and Qs
to feel under the weather
to be all ears
to take the bull by the horns
to save something for a rainy day
to pull your socks up
to be down in the dumps
to let the cat out of the bag
to bend over backwards
to get your skates on
to call a spade a spade
to be full of beans
not a sausage
What did you think of the episodes about the mystery game? I don’t know what you all thought of that? Did you enjoy it? Was it too difficult to follow? Give me your feedback. You can do that on the website.
Find out about Paul Taylor’s life now that he’s the father of a newborn baby. How’s the baby doing? How are Paul and his wife coping? What happened during the birth? How has Paul managed to create an entirely new 1-hour comedy show, while also moving house and dealing with the madness of parenthood? How does he feel about it all? What exactly is making him angry this time? Listen on to find out.
LEP Meetup in London (Sat 28 Sept at 6pm – Fitzroy Tavern)
Calling all London LEPsters! Following on from the success of the last meetup, there’s going to be another one in London. The date is Saturday 28th September 2019. The venue is the same as before – the Firtzroy Tavern, 16 Charlotte St, Fitzrovia, London W1T 2LY. The time – 6pm.
The Fitzroy is a classic old London pub. Various famous writers and acclaimed people have spent time there, including George Orwell, the man who wrote 1984 and Animal Farm amongst other great work. Now it’s the location of LEP meetups in London. You can get drinks and food, Zdenek Lukas is organising it again, with his board games, and I think some of the gang from the last meetup are going to return but new people are very welcome too. There will be games, friendly conversation and laughs and a good chance to practice your English and make some new friends with like-minded people.
Saturday 28th September 2019. The Firtzroy Tavern, 16 Charlotte St, Fitzrovia, London W1T 2LY. The time – 6pm.
Hi folks, how are you all doing? And how about you, yes specifically you? How’s that thing that’s been bothering you a bit? Has it cleared up? How did that thing go? You know the thing you had to do? Did it go ok? If you’re driving while listening to this, please keep your eyes on the road at all times. If you’re running while listening (maybe for exercise, or maybe in order to escape something, like a bear) then keep it up! Don’t stop running! If you’re walking somewhere, don’t forget the old combination – right foot, left foot , right foot, left foot etc. If you’re sitting still, then I hope you are nice and comfy. Good. Now that the conditions are right, let’s continue.
So, Paul Taylor is back on the podcast. I’ve been wondering what title to choose for this episode. I was considering “Baby Update with Paul” but I thought that sounded a bit boring and flat. I considered calling it “Down in the Dumps with Paul Taylor” but that won’t make much sense until you’ve heard the next episode. Having the right title on an episode can make all the difference. It’s the thing that entices people to actually click the play button and listen. Most people probably just listen regardless of the title, but nevertheless, the title is vital as the most direct way to market the episode to your listeners. So it is something that I find myself scratching my head over sometimes.
So that’s why, this time, I’ve gone with the most clickbait-y title I could think of. “Paul Taylor Became a Dad – and you won’t believe what happened next” is exactly the sort of title you get on those annoying online articles that you somehow can’t resist clicking on. So there it is. Now you will have to listen in order to decide if the “You won’t believe what happened next” part of the title is justifiable or not. But that’s it – the title is an experiment in clickbait and a kind of ironic joke too. Anyway, to get straight to the point – this episode is about Paul’s experience of becoming a father for the first time.
For this episode I originally had a plan to do an idioms game with Paul, which would involve us talking and trying to naturally add some idioms into our conversation, but I forgot to introduce the game at the start of the episode because we immediately went flying down the rabbit hole of Paul’s baby news. So, no idioms game – that’s going to be in the next one. And this episode is slightly shorter than normal, which makes a nice change. That’s because after half an hour we decided to start doing the game and I’ve decided to make that another episode of the podcast, which will be the next one. So, an idioms game with Paul is coming up in the next episode, which means that this episode is basically a catching up chat with Paul focusing on life as a new Dad.
You might have heard the episode I did nearly 2 years ago about the arrival of my daughter. It’s episode 502.
In that one I talked with my wife about what happened when our baby arrived, what it is like, how the baby is getting on and everything. My wife and I are lucky that we had no major issues, the baby was born healthy and happy and in the weeks and months afterwards we enjoyed the experience of having a third member of the family with us and it felt all loved up and sweet, but it’s not always like that. It depends on the child and the situation you’re in. One thing’s for sure though, having a baby is a bit like a bomb going off in your life. It can cause quite a lot of difficulty, chaos and fatigue in ways that you don’t expect.
So this time it’s the turn of Paul Taylor and his wife and I will let you listen to Paul describing his experiences of looking after their newborn, what happened during the birth, and whether it has been a fairly easy ride so far, or on the contrary – something of an exhausting ordeal.
In any case, I would like to wish them both a hearty congratulations, but let’s now find out how Paul has been getting on with it all.
Your job as ever is just to try and keep up with the chat and see if there are any new words or phrases you can spot. It might be worth revisiting some of my other episodes about having kids, especially ones in which I explain all the relevant vocab (ep162 was all about that). There’s a list of episodes on the page for this episode on the website (below).
Alright then, so without further ado – let’s find out how Paul’s been getting on.
Conversation with Paul begins – How does he feel about being a dad?
That’s the end of this part. I just want to say thanks again to Paul and to wish him and his wife well. To be honest it sounds like they’ve been having a really hard time with the baby crying constantly, which is horrible. When your child cries, it is a truly horrible feeling. It gets you right in your soul and it’s like torture. It can be very tough to be stuck indoors with a crying baby all day every day. It can drive you round the bend. I really hope it gets better soon and the two of them can start to enjoy parenthood properly.
It’s tough having kids, there’s no doubt about it. It can be horrible – but somehow the good things carry you through the bad things. I just hope they get to taste some of the good stuff soon, because there is a lot of joy in having kids. For me it got much better when our daughter started interacting with us more and now it’s very funny and entertaining trying to have conversations with her. I hope Paul can enjoy that too in the near future.
I must say I am very impressed that he’s managed to come up with an entirely new 1-hour comedy show during all of this. That is very difficult, especially when your first show was developed over 3 years and was a big hit. Now he has to do it all again, but he has done it. A new 1 hour show called “So British (ou presque)” and you can see it at a venue called FLOW in Paris from 18 October to 4 January. More details on the website (below).
You heard there that I mentioned the idioms card game I had intended to play during the conversation. That’s what’s going to happen in the next episode. A game in which you can try to spot various common idioms in our conversation, and we’ll explain and clarify them for you too.
Just a reminder, you can check out previous episodes I’ve done about parenthood if you’re interested in learning more vocabulary about the subject. Check out episode 161 which was a conversation with a heavily pregnant Amber Minogue about what it’s like being 8 months pregnant. The following episode (162) covers a lot of vocabulary relating to pregnancy, childbirth and childcare. Then there’s episode 502 which is wife and me chatting. And if you remember there are also several episodes with Ben and Andy from the London School, in which they both prepare me (and scare me) ahead of the birth of my daughter. (Links at the bottom of the page)
Raising Bilingual Children
On the subject of having children and learning English, I have received quite a lot of requests about doing a podcast about how to raise children to be bilingual. I guess quite a lot of you out there are having children too and you really want them to grow up to be effective speakers of English. What’s the best way to achieve this? How do you bring up kids to speak another language?
This is actually a really complicated question and there are many different situations in which this might be a concern.
One parent speaks a different language, but the family lives in the home country of the other parent (my situation, same as many of my friends)
The two parents are from one country, but living in a different place now and bringing up a child there.
The two parents are non-natives living in a non-English speaking place, but they want their child to grow up speaking English.
How do you go about helping the child to learn English? Also, how do I talk to my daughter? What is the typical way to talk to children in English? Are there any particular phrases or words that we use.
So this is actually a pretty big project and to properly deal with it I think it’s necessary to perhaps get the benefit of qualified professionals who know about the various kinds of research into second language acquisition for kids and the ins and outs of bilingualism in children.
So, what I plan to do is interview my friends about their experiences of bringing up bilingual kids. I also would like to take advantage of my contacts at the BC and ask some of our staff for their professional opinions regarding bilingualism and how you can help your kids to learn English.
So this is a podcast series that requires some preparation but it’s one that I’m going to start working on soon.
In the meantime – I’m interested in your comments, if any of you out there has experience of raising a child to be bilingual – I want to hear from you. Let me know about techniques, experiences, challenges, methods – anything relating to bringing up kids who speak English. I am particularly interested in success stories of bringing up a child to speak English when English is not your native tongue, or the native tongue of your partner and you’re not living in an English speaking country. For example, Polish parents (who probably speak English a bit) bringing up a Polish child in Poland to speak good English from childhood. That might be you (but in a different country I expect). So, if you have things to say about this – send me a comment or an email. I’d like to gather together some thoughts, anecdotes and tips which I can make part of future episodes. So, have a think and get in touch with me via my website teacherluke.co.uk
Finally – London-based LEPsters, don’t forget about the official LEP meetup happening on Saturday 28th September 2019. The venue is the same as before – the Firtzroy Tavern, 16 Charlotte St, Fitzrovia, London W1T 2LY. The time – 6pm.
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That’s it for this episode! Thank you for listening. The next one will feature a vocabulary game featuring about 15 different common English idioms for you to spot and learn. That’s coming soon. But for this episode it’s just time to say BYE BYE BYE!
Previous Episodes about Parenthood / Babies / Vocabulary
Hello listeners and welcome to episode 614. In this episode I’m going to continue reading through this online text adventure that I started in episode 612. This should be the 3rd and final part of this murder mystery story.
You have to listen to parts 1 and 2 first before you listen to this. They are episodes 612 and 613. If you don’t listen to them first, none of this will make any sense, ok!
So I’m assuming you’ve heard those two parts.
Let’s just recap the story quickly.
We’re on the hunt for the killers of 3 prominent academics in London 1861. Intelligent and brilliant people keep turning up dead, completely naked and with their hearts torn out.
After lots of investigation by us (a brilliant Holmes-style detective) and our partner Mardler, we’ve worked out that the killings have been done by a weird religious cult that worships King Cobras and likes to eat the hearts of people as a way of absorbing their intelligence. So they’ve been preying on academics, scientists, surgeons, historians and so on.
We’ve managed to catch two of the principle murderers – a wealthy member of the upper-classes, a woman posing as a nurse in local hospital and now we are on the tracks of the main bad guy, an old man by the name of Lynch who we suspect is currently holding a French intellectual hostage with a plan to murder him and eat his heart in the next few hours. Earlier in the story we got shot and had to jump out of a window so we are nursing an injury and not at our full strength.
We’ve managed to track down Lynch to a house outside London and now we are about to enter the house and hopefully save the life of the French man and bring Lynch to justice. Let’s see what happens next and what kind of score I’m going to get at the end of this game!
I have a feeling that we’re getting close to the end of the story, based on how it’s going. I reckon this should be finished in the next 15-30 minutes, but we will see. If there is time in this episode I will go through a list of vocabulary items that I’ve picked up from the story.
By the way, there are videos for episodes 612, 613 and hopefully this one available for Premium subscribers. You can see me reading through the story, and there are also some bonus extras including a song in 613 part 2. Sign up to LEP premium at teacherluke.co.uk/premium
Right, let’s carry on then!
an acclaimed historian
the odour of varnish
a furrowed brow
I thought I had you for a minute
bags under your eyes
gutted like an animal
She has blisters on her left fingertips from the strings
Gray rummagesthrough his desk drawer for a moment
Marilyn is taken aback
Marilyn hastily digs through her bag
her hand returns clutching two ticket stubs
This is a pretty good alibi, assuming we can hear from some witnesses that confirm her whereabouts
you don’t rule her out as a suspect entirely just yet
birch tree pollen
They got into a violent scuffle
scraping your palms on the hard road
You stumble back onto your feet and catch up with Mardler
sweat forming on your brow
sprint across the road
tripping on a discarded piece of garbage
Dilated pupils, bloody nose, hoarse voice
lurking at Hollowleaf Hospital, he’s trying to score some drugs
Dr Yates slumps down on the ground, defeated
Another dead end!
footprints on the floor
following the faintfootprints
a bruise on Julian’s face
The floorboards creak noisily as you walk over them
you tackle him to the ground
Most of the doctors and nurses have gone home for the night, but a few stragglers are left caring for the sick and wounded.
You wince in pain.
Your kneecap and head are throbbing.
Sorry I have to ambush you like this
Crisp morning air fills your nostrils
You feel winded by the time you reach Palomer’s door
a shard of glass
Mardler ponders your theory.
He was brushing up on German translations when we saw him last
Listen to Luke investigating a ‘choose-your-own-adventure’ detective story and read along if you like! Learn English in fun ways with stories on Luke’s English Podcast. Video available for premium subscribers.
In this one I’m going to go through another online text adventure in order to try to solve a murder mystery set in Victorian London.
It’s been a while since I did one of these on the podcast.
Several times in the past I have read through online detective adventure stories written by Peter Carlson and available at textadventures.co.uk
There were episodes 338 & 339 (A Murder Mystery Detective Story) and episodes 425 and 426 (Victorian Detectives) in which I was joined by Amber in Paul. (links at the bottom)
These are based on stories and text adventures that you can find at textadventures.co.uk I usually use the ones done by Peter Carlson and in fact after recording the first one, Peter got in touch with me to tell me that he liked the way I did it and was welcome to use his other stories. So, kudos to Peter for being behind us on this one.
In the first episode I read through the story entitled Victorian Detective, and then second one was the sequel “Victorian Detective 2” and now we are on to the third instalment of the series, that’s right it’s “Victorian Detective 3”.
So the idea behind these text adventures is that you read through some text on a webpage and there are certain words highlighted which you can click on for extra information and every now and then you have to make a decision which can affect the way the story turns out. Each decision relies on your observational skills and your reading of the information provided. You have to be like a Sherlock Holmes style detective, or a text detective if you will, to work out the right choices based on the evidence you’ve read.
This sort of thing is great for learning English because you can do tons of reading with very specific goals each time. It’s online so you can check out new words when you come across them and the fact that you’re part of the story makes it extra engaging. You can also read along with me as I play the game, or play it on your own later. And if you do that, consider leaving a comment or review at textadvantures.co.uk thanking Peter Carlson for his work.
You can check out loads of these games at textadventures.co.uk and I’ll let you explore them in your own time.
Right, so what about Victorian Detective 3?
In this series we play the part of a brilliant detective who has skills similar to those of Sherlock Holmes. You have perfect memory, demonstrated by the fact that you can re-read any text so far. Your super fast decision making ability is represented by the unlimited time we have to make our choices in the game. And our vast knowledge is represented by the internet and we are encouraged to google any things we don’t know about.
As a detective we have a police partner that we work with called Mardler. He’s a bit like the Lestrade character in Sherlock Holmes in that he is a police officer who often gets things wrong and is a bit competitive with you. So Mardler is our partner.
So here’s how it’s going to go.
I’ll read through each section and read all the other peripheral info that you get by clicking on different words. I’ll explain things as we go if I think it’s all getting complicated. I’ll invite you to think about the right option each time and if you want you can read along with me by following the link on the website.
I have no idea how long this will take! It might be several episodes, we’ll see. I haven’t done the game before so I don’t know how long it will last. In this episode I think I’ll go for about an hour and then I’ll find a good place to pause the story. Some kind of cliffhanger would be good.
Your task is just to try and keep up with the story, perhaps think about each decision too. If I make a mistake at any point, jump into the comment section and explain your thoughts.
But mainly, just try to follow the story and I hope you find it interesting and enjoyable as a way to learn English through listening.
I’m slightly concerned that my reading of texts might distance you from the story slightly. I really want you to concentrate on imagining the surroundings of each scene. It helps if you really visualise each situation as you listen to it. Use any descriptive language you can find to help you paint a visual image of what you’re hearing in the story. This can make a big difference to your ability to keep up and to stay involved all the way through.
So for this story we’re in London in 1861. Victoria is on the throne. The American Civil War is breaking out in the USA. London is probably quite a dirty, smokey, foggy sort of place with some very upmarket areas and also some slums. People used horses and horse-drawn carriages to get around and do things. It’s the world of Sherlock Holmes basically.
Right, so without any further ado, let’s begin the story.
There’s a little bit of chess at the beginning and I admit that I’ve done this several times to get the right sequence of moves. QUEEN – PAWN – PAWN
Also, as we go through I’m picking up or losing points based on my decisions. I think it’s not possible to die in the game, but the outcome might be different and your score can be different each time.
Here is another episode of this podcast for people learning English.
This time we are dissecting the frog again as we are going to be looking at top jokes from this year’s Ed Fringe. I’m going to read all the jokes to you and then dissect them for vocabulary which can help you learn English really effectively.
Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You can learn something from it, but the frog dies in the process.
So let’s dissect the frog again!
A challenge for you:
Can you understand the jokes the first time you hear them?
Can you repeat the jokes, with the right timing, intonation and stress, to make the joke funny?
The Culture of Joke-Telling in English
Remember, when someone tells you a joke there are certain normal responses you should make. You shouldn’t give no reaction.
You have to show that you see that a joke has happened. Don’t just give no reaction or respond to the question on face value.
So when someone tells you a joke, you have to show that you’ve noticed it.
go “awwww” or something
Say “I don’t get it”
Heard it before
You also have to respond to certain jokes in certain ways.
Knock knock – who’s there?
Any kind of question, especially “What do you call a…?” or “What do you get if you cross xxx with yyy?”
You answer: I don’t know. Then the answer is the punchline.
Jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe 2019
I did one of these last year – episode 547. A whole year has gone by. So I did 64 episodes of the podcast, plus all the premium ones. Quite a productive year for LEP!
Right now stand up comedians all over the UK are having a welcome break and a chance to think about how their Edinburgh run was and what they can learn from it.
The rest of us are reading articles in the press about the best jokes from this year’s fringe, and which new comedians to look out for over the coming year or two.
What’s the Edinburgh Fringe again? (I’ve talked about it a lot on the podcast. Never actually been there.)
The Edinburgh Festival Fringe (also referred to as The Fringe or Edinburgh Fringe, or Edinburgh Fringe Festival) is the world’s largest arts festival, which in 2018 spanned 25 days and featured more than 55,000 performances of 3,548 different shows in 317 venues. Established in 1947 as an alternative to the Edinburgh International Festival, it takes place annually in Edinburgh, Scotland, in the month of August. It has been called the “most famous celebration of the arts and entertainment in the world” and an event that “has done more to place Edinburgh in the forefront of world cities than anything else.
It is an open access (or “unjuried“) performing arts festival, meaning there is no selection committee, and anyone may participate, with any type of performance. The official Fringe Programme categorises shows into sections for theatre, comedy, dance, physical theatre, circus, cabaret, children’s shows, musicals, opera, music, spoken word, exhibitions and events. Comedy is the largest section, making up over one-third of the programme and the one that in modern times has the highest public profile, due in part to the Edinburgh Comedy Awards.
Every year hundreds of stand up comedians go to the Fringe to do their shows. It is a sort of make-or-break experience.
Have you ever done it Luke? What’s it like?
I did something about different joke types in the last one of these episodes. I talked about things like “pull back and reveal” and “then I got off the bus”.
Here are about 5 different joke types, or stand-up techniques.
Puns (word jokes) – one word or phrase means two things at the same time, maybe because one word can sound like two words – homophones. [Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9. —> “8” sounds exactly like “ate”]
Pull back and reveal – the situation radically changes when we get more information. [My wife told me: ‘Sex is better on holiday.’ That wasn’t a nice postcard to receive.” Joe Bor 2014]
Observational humour – noticing things about everyday life that we all experience, but haven’t put into words yet. [What’s the deal with airline food, right?]
Similes – Showing how two things are similar in unexpected and revealing ways. [Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog…]
Common phrases, reinterpreted. This time it seems that most of the jokes are based on well-known common phrases and how they could mean something else if you change the context. It’s like a pun but for a whole phrase. [Conjunctivitis.com – now there’s a site for sore eyes. Tim Vine]
The top 10 jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2019 have been announced, with comedian Olaf Falafel taking the coveted top spot. Check out the full list below.
After previous triumphs from the likes of Tim Vine, Stewart Francis and Zoe Lyons, Falafel scooped the prize with a snappy vegetable themed one-liner.
He took ‘Dave’s Funniest Joke Of The Fringe’ with the gag:
1. “I keep randomly shouting out ‘Broccoli’ and ‘Cauliflower’ – I think I might have florets”.
Florets are chunks of broccoli or cauliflower
Tourette’s is a condition in which people shout out the rudest and most taboo thing in any situation, particularly stressful ones.
The two words sound quite similar.
It’s not the best joke in my opinion.
What makes a really good joke?
If it’s a pun, it should work both ways.
You’re looking at a sentence that means two things at the same time. Ideally, both of those things will make overall sense.
“I keep randomly shouting out ‘Broccoli’ and ‘Cauliflower’ – I think I might have florets”.
So, one sense here is that he has a type of tourette’s which only involves shouting out broccoli and cauliflower. That makes sense, sort of.
But the other meaning doesn’t. Why would he be randomly shouting out the words broccoli and cauliflower if he had some florets in his hand?
So, for me it doesn’t quite work.
Here’s a joke that works both ways
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m ok.
On the other hand means “But” (the whole sentence still makes sense) He broke his finger but overall he’s ok.
On the other hand means “literally on his other hand” (the whole sentence makes sense again) He broke his finger on one hand, but his other hand is ok.
“I keep randomly shouting out ‘Broccoli’ and ‘Cauliflower’ – I think I might have florets”.
It came from Falafel’s show It’s One Giant Leek For Mankind, which was performed at the Pear Tree.
The comic, who won with 41% of the vote, claims to be “Sweden’s 8th funniest” comedian. He also works as an acclaimed children’s book author.
(This is like a democratic election in which the one that 59% of people (the majority) didn’t vote for, is the one that’s picked.)
Falafel said: “This is a fantastic honour but it’s like I’ve always said, jokes about white sugar are rare, jokes about brown sugar… demerara.”
(How is that like winning this list?🤷♂️)
Check out the rest of the top ten below.
2.”Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they’re happy” – Richard Stott