Category Archives: Native Speaker

629. Do you ever … ? (with James) Strange Habits & Funny Observations

A funny conversation about strange habits that we don’t often talk about, with my brother James. Notes & scripts available below.

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Yes, this is a long episode…

…but remember the best way to listen to these episodes is by using a podcast app on your phone. That way you can listen to a bit, pause the episode and when you choose to listen again your app will remember where you previously stopped. If you’re wondering which podcast app to use, let me recommend the Luke’s English Podcast App, which contains the entire episode archive and loads of bonus stuff. Just search for Luke’s English Podcast App in the app store for Apple devices or Google Play store for Android, and yes it’s completely free. Using a podcast app means that you don’t have to listen to an entire episode in one sitting, which is the best way to listen to longer podcasts like this one.

Introduction (after the jingle)

In this episode, let’s just ask each other a bunch of “do you ever?” questions.

This is going to involve using present simple tense a lot. This is the most basic verb tense we have in English, and we use it to talk about permanent facts and habitual behaviour.

In lessons at school this tense is often taught to students at low levels because it’s a really important foundation for general English, but it tends to be a little bit dull – not the way students deal with the tense, but the way it’s presented in textbooks. Usually, materials based around present simple tense just involve daily routines, what time you normally get up, eat lunch, go to bed etc.

Students at that level lack the vocabulary to be able to talk about habits and routines in a more complex way. When they do have more vocabulary at higher levels, the course books always focus on other tenses – e.g. past tenses for telling stories about the past, future tenses for making predictions about the future, conditional sentences and modal verbs for speculating and so on.

The poor present simple tense is left with this boring reputation of just being a low-level bit of grammar which we only use to talk about what time we get up in the morning and how often we go to the gym.

So, let’s come back to present simple tense and see if we can use it to talk about slightly more unusual and fun things.

As a teacher, the main problem I have noticed when students are using present simple tense is just remembering to add ‘s’ or maybe ‘es’ (which often adds another syllable to the word – like ‘I wish’ and ‘he wishes’ for example). Often it’s just missing 3rd person forms. Like someone saying “He go” when it should be “he goes”. It’s so basic but it’s worth self-correcting if it happens.

Anyway, this episode is called “Do you ever?” and I’ve prepared a big list of unusual behaviour which I think we don’t often talk about, but which I think many of us do, or maybe it’s just me.

Now, I don’t necessarily do all of these things. They’re just based on observations I’ve made. Also, some of the things in this list were written by my brother during a conversation we had ages ago about weird little habits that we have.

Let’s see what happens in terms of the language that comes out. Will we switch to other tenses at any point? What kind of vocabulary will emerge? And do you ever do these slightly unusual things?

***Interruption***

I’m interrupting here because, before we go any further, I think it’s necessary to say a few things about this episode in order to help you understand it all a bit better.

First of all, you should know that this is quite a silly and rambling episode and it shouldn’t be taken too seriously. Most of what you’re going to hear is just for fun really and I hope you enjoy it.

There is quite a lot of rude language in the episode and by that I mean things like the F word (you mean the word “Fuck” – err, yes – OKay, thanks. Just checking. Wait – who are you? Never mind, carry on!) So there is some swearing but for me that’s quite normal in an informal situation but obviously – swearing is still not a good idea in polite company or at work for example. But for two people like James and me chatting informally at home, swearing might happen and, you know – I want this to be authentic, as if you’re sitting with us the whole time. So, that’s why there is swearing.

Also, I think it will probably be difficult for many of you to follow this conversation because we talk about some very specific and quite personal things, sometimes we talk quickly because we’re in a rush to say things before the other one interrupts us, we talk over each other sometimes and the topic of conversation changes a lot as we go through each question quite quickly.

So this is definitely going to be a difficult one, depending on your level of English of course. But sometimes you need a challenge!

Generally, I think I am quite easy to understand when I’m talking on my own, even when I’m speaking quickly. I just have a clear voice. But when I’m talking to friends on the podcast I think it becomes a lot more difficult to understand everything and that might demotivate you. But you need a bit of a challenge from time to time. I hope the bits that you understand will carry you through the bits that you don’t understand.

But I do want to help you understand as much as possible, so I’m now going to read out all the Do You Ever…? Questions that we answer in this episode. I’m going to read them all out now, just to give you a chance to understand them all in advance. This can make a big difference to your comprehension of this conversation.

If you have already had a chance to think about the different things that we talk about, you’ll be in a much better position to understand it all.

So, let me now go through this list of “Do you ever…?” questions and I’d like you to concentrate and just try to understand each one and then prepare to hear what we have to say about them in the rest of the conversation.

You should also consider whether you do these particular little things or not, and if you consider them to be normal, funny or weird.

Right, so listen carefully – these are the questions that James and I are going to discuss in this conversation. Here we go…

Do you ever…?

  • Get song lyrics stuck in your head (like an earworm)

  • Aim at things when you pee

  • Use a special system for getting to sleep

  • Have dreams or nightmares

  • Wave at people on boats

  • Look out of the window in a moving car and imagine that you’re running along next to the car like Mario or Sonic, jumping over obstacles, or that you’re cutting everything with a huge saw or laser as you move past

  • Shave your beard into a funny moustache for a moment when shaving

  • Talk to yourself in a different voice, when nobody else is around

  • Wipe while sitting or wipe while standing

  • Imagine doing an amazing performance in front of your old school during an assembly or something

  • Avoid stepping on the cracks in the pavement, or live by any other superstitions

  • Go to the hairdressers and have a really bad time but say nothing about it

  • Drink loads of tea or coffee at work just so you get more toilet breaks

  • Smoke cigarettes because you’re bored, or decide to smoke a cigarette because you see someone in a movie smoking

  • Imagine what you would do if a zombie apocalypse happened right now

  • Count the number of steps it takes you to get up a flight of stairs or go from the sofa to the toilet

  • Flip something, like a remote control, in the air over and over again until you drop it

  • Do fake bets with yourself or your friends

  • Badly need the loo on the way home

  • Listen to songs and completely misunderstand or mishear the lyrics

    Fugzi – Waiting Room

    The lyrics are, “I am a patient boy. I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait.”

    James thought it was, “I am a pastry boy. I weigh, I weigh, I weigh, I weigh.” 

  • Open toilet doors with your elbows

  • Use the back of your hand or certain fingers for touching your face, as if the back of your hand or your knuckle are ‘totally safe’

  • Think “that would be a good name for a band”

  • Fall asleep in public and then suddenly wake up because your head has suddenly moved, you’ve snored or you’ve made another noise, or your head has moved back and your mouth has hung open, or you’ve drooled out of your mouth

  • Throw a ball of paper at the bin, miss, pick up the ball and try again from the exact same spot as before

  • Eat any parts of yourself – e.g nails, dead skin or bogies

  • Tap your foot to the beat of other people’s music which you can overhear from their headphones, in order to show them that you can hear it (or because the music is actually good)

  • Walk past someone you know in the street and go to say hello, then realise they’ve chosen to blank you (to ignore you)

  • Not move down in public transport even though you could, because you want to save space for yourself and because you generally hate other people

  • Fall in love with a stranger on public transport and yet do absolutely nothing about it other than glance at them and hope they don’t notice

  • Add your own voiceover track to films or TV shows

  • Doodle particular things with a pen while you’re on the phone

  • Hate strangers on public transport for no reason

  • Put toast in the toaster, it comes up not done properly, then you put it back and then it’s burnt

  • Lie on your back and throw a ball or maybe an orange into the air, and fail to catch it

  • Walk for ages with a stone in your shoe – it feels massive, then you take it out and it’s tiny

  • Find everything totally fascinating, just before bedtime – especially if you promised yourself earlier in the day that you’d have an early night


Ending

That was the LEP Jingle Megamix that you heard at the end there. I haven’t played that on the podcast for a while. If you’d like to know where all those little samples in that jingle come from, check out the Jingles & Music category in the LEP App. There’s a full episode there in which I go through all the samples and explain where they all come from. It’s called “Deconstructing the LEP Jingle Megamix”.

Well done for listening to all of that. I wonder how many of you have made this far, and how many people just couldn’t handle it any longer for whatever reason, and how many skeletons there are with headphones on right now – skeletons that were perfectly healthy fresh-faced humans when they started listening to this, who slowly perished as the episode went on.

But not you – no, you made it all the way through and there’s a good chance you laughed with us, and perhaps were struck by a profound sense of shared experience when you realised that you also do some of the things we talked about.

But well done to you, in any case and I hope you also picked up some English along the way – because, after all, that is the main purpose of this whole thing, of course. I expect the lower level listeners or the more serious listeners probably stopped listening because they couldn’t keep up or because they felt that they didn’t have time. I’m not going to get into all the stuff about the pros and cons of long episodes vs shorter episodes and things like that. Anyway, the point is – if you made it this far then “nice one” and I wonder what your favourite moments were from this episode. You could share your thoughts in the comment section of course.

Let me thank James again for being on the podcast. I always enjoy our episodes together and I hope that that comes across in the recording.

Right, time to stop talking. There’s no time to mention that you should sign up to LEP Premium at www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium. No time to that, but you should anyway. There are now over 60 premium items available and more premium episodes are coming, I promise. They just take quite a lot of work and preparation. But there will be more coming before Christmas.

All I’ll say now is thank you again for listening and I will speak to you again on the podcast soon, but for now – goodbye!

What’s the music at the end of the episode, Luke?

The music you can hear at the end is called Wonderland and it was produced by James on his Akai MPC2000. You can check it out (and his other tunes) on his Soundcloud page here soundcloud.com/jt-2000

628. OASIS (with James)

A conversation with James about the English rock band Oasis, including details about their story, music, lyrics and the sibling rivalry between Noel and Liam Gallagher.

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Introduction

Hello listeners, how are you today? Welcome to this new episode.

As you can see from the title, this episode is all about Oasis – and yes, that is Oasis the band. Do you know them? Many of you will be thinking “Yes, I know them Luke!” or “Of course we know them – and you like to do impressions of them on the podcast. So yeah we definitely know them!” but some of you will be thinking, “huh?” “who?” “Oasis?” “what?”

The name might be pronounced differently in your country. In France they’re called “owA-zees”. In Japan it’s オアシス “O-wa-shisu” (something like that).  In English it’s a 3-syllable word and the stress is on the second syllable. o-WAY-sis.

Anyway, Oasis man. Do you know what I mean?

*Luke plays some musical clips to make sure you know who Oasis are

Do you know what I mean?

Most of you probably do. But in any case, here is a pithy summary.

Oasis are (I’m saying “are” because it’s a group) a rock band from Manchester in England. They became famous in the early to mid 1990s, but they continued as a band until 2009 when they split up, acrimoniously (which means that they had an argument and fell out).

The most famous members of the group are the Gallagher brothers – Noel and Liam. They were born to Irish parents living in Manchester. So they’re English, Mancunian to be more specific, but with Irish roots.

They are famous for their particular brand of rock & roll music which seemed to be heavily influenced by so many classic British bands from the 60s, 70s and 80s, and their general attitude and demeanour – unpretentious, cool and funny, but also arrogant, cocky, rude and sometimes even violent and aggressive.

There’s a lot more to it than just those things and that is why my brother James and I decided the other day to record an episode all about this band.

Yes, this is a long episode, but it should cover most of the significant details (although I’m sure that we’ve missed certain things).

Remember, you don’t have to listen to this episode all in one go. You can pause and the podcast app on your phone will remember where you stopped, and then you can carry on later. So, break it up a bit if you like.

The aim for the episode is to tell you the main things that I think you need to know about Oasis and their music and to try to explain their cultural significance (in the UK at least) and personal significance (to us). Also, I just want to provide you with more content which I hope is interesting to listen to in order to help with your English.

At the end of the episode you will hopefully be more able to understand and talk about this iconic English band.

Just one other thing before we continue… There is quite a lot of swearing in this episode, so it’s not really for children or the swearing intolerant.

Right then, without any further ado, let’s get fockin’ started man.

Videos (some things we mentioned in the conversation)

Supersonic (Official documentary from 2016) (2 mins)

Oasis perform Supersonic on The Word (1994) The first time they appeared on national TV (3 mins)

How Supersonic was written and recorded (from the documentary) (1min30)

Bad behaviour (1min30sec)

Slide Away (with Lyrics) Every line is like the title of a song or album

Liam and Noel argue, then Liam refuses to sing (I can’t really follow what they’re saying but it’s quite interesting to watch anyway!)

Noel talks about his song being sung by the crowd after the Manchester terrorist attack (3mins)

Champagne Supernova (with Lyrics man)

Kevin & Perry (from BBC’s Harry Enfield’s Television Programme) Perry becomes a proper geezer after a trip to Manchester (2min30sec)

And more videos…

Some other interesting and funny Oasis moments.

Noel Gallagher’s DVD commentary for the Live Forever video (5mins)

Noel Gallagher interview with comedy legend Frank Skinner (30 mins)

Liam listens to other people’s music and gives his opinions (2mins20sec)

Noel talks about why Oasis split up (7mins) “I never had enough of Oasis, I had enough of him [Liam]”

626. The Rick Thompson Report: Boris Johnson’s Brexit Deal / General Election / Football

An update from my dad about Brexit, including details about Boris Johnson’s deal, the shutting down of Parliament, the upcoming general election and more. Includes some chat about Premiership football at the end.

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Introduction

Last time we spoke it was early August. Boris Johnson had recently become the PM and was going to negotiate a new Brexit deal after Theresa May had failed to get Parliament to accept the deal she spent over 2 years to get. Brexit, at the time was due to happen on 31st October.

I just have one question, which is “What’s been going on?”

Some Vocabulary

  • I’m getting a sense of deja vu
  • it’s a fudge / it was fudged
  • “I’d rather be dead in a ditch than ask for another extension” – Boris Johnson
  • Whips / The party whip
  • The electorate
  • To put/throw a spanner in the works
  • To upset the apple cart
  • A disreputable character
  • To stand your candidate down
  • None of this is spelled out but that’s what it means
  • You can jump to your own conclusions
  • Boris Johnson has refused point-blank
  • He’s saying Parliamentary Democracy is now defunct
  • The proroguing of parliament was null and void
  • Is that a political coup?
  • It would have been the biggest constitutional crisis since they cut Charles I’s head off
  • They didn’t get away with it

Ending

So there you have it. That was the Rick Thompson Report, recorded on Wednesday 13 November 2019.

The comment section is open if you’d like to share your thoughts there.

New episodes of LEP Premium are coming. To sign up go to www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium

Also download my app to get the entire archive plus loads of bonus extras like the phrasal verb series, various videos and also bonus app only episodes. You can also access the premium subscription through the app.

Thanks for listening and I’ll speak to you again on the podcast soon!

624. 88 English expressions that will confuse everyone (Part 1)

An episode about British English slang and culture, featuring expressions that Brits know but everyone else finds confusing. Here are the first 30 expressions in a list of 88 that I found on independent.co.uk. Includes plenty of funny improvised examples to make you laugh out loud on the bus.

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London LEPster MeetUp – 2pm Sunday 17 November

Fitzroy Tavern, 16 Charlotte St, Fitzrovia, London W1T 2LY

From 2PM.

I’ll be there.

Let’s play some board games and have a drink.

Zdenek is organising it. If you could send him an email to let him know you’re coming that would be great. teacherzdenek@gmail.com

The original article on independent.co.uk

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/british-phrases-english-language-sayings-britain-england-uk-different-a8138046.html

1. A few sandwiches short of a picnic

He’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic, isn’t he?

2. Anorak

I’m a bit of a Beatles anorak.

3. Bagsie

Bagsie the front seat! Shotgun!

4. The bee’s knees

He’s the bee’s knees.

5. Bender (go on a)

I went on a 3-day bender last weekend. I feel rough as f*ck right now.

6. Blinder (to pull a)

You pulled an absolute blinder in that negotiation.

EDIT 1

My brother has chipped in here with a comment, saying that he thinks the most common collocation with Blinder is “to play a blinder” and I admit that he’s right. Thinking about it, I’ve definitely heard “play a blinder” more than “pull a blinder”.

A quick internet search shows us the same thing.

Collins says it’s when a sports player or musician plays something really well but it’s also applied to when anyone does anything well. For example, you played a blinder in that meeting.

Or You played an absolute blinder getting us front row tickets for this show.

OK, so let’s say “play a blinder” more often than “pull a blinder”.

7. Bloody / Bleedin’

Bloody hell Harry! Bleedin‘ Heck!

8. Bob’s your uncle

Put the bag in the mug, add hot water, then some milk and Bob’s your uncle.

9. Bog-standard

We’re staying in a bog-standard hotel up the road.

10. Boot

Put the money in the boot of the car.

11. Botch(ed) job

You did a real botch(ed) job on that chair. It is a real death-trap. You really made a botch of that, didn’t you?

12. Brolly

Do you need a brolly?

13. Budge up

Come on, budge up a bit. I don’t have much room.

14. Builder’s tea

I like a nice cup of builder’s tea, me.

15. Butcher’s

Give us a butcher’s at that! Have a butcher’s at this.

16. Cack-handed

I’m really cack-handed today. I don’t know what’s the matter with me.

17. Cheeky

You’re such a cheeky little monkey!

18. Chinese whispers

It must have been Chinese whispers.

19. Chinwag

Let’s get together and have a good old chinwag.

20. Chocablock

I tell you what. It’s absolutely chockablock out there. Absolutely chocka.

21. Chuffed

You must be really chuffed!

22. Clanger

You dropped an absolute clanger at the dinner party.

23. Codswallop

What a load of absolute codswallop.

24. Cost a bomb

Those new iPhones cost an absolute bomb.

25. Cream-crackered

I am absolutely cream-crackered. I think I’m going to go straight to bed.

26. Curtain twitcher

Our neighbour is a bit of a curtain twitcher.

27. Dench

I’m going to make some tea. Dench. (?)

EDIT 2

I just want to add something about the word “Dench”.

I said that I didn’t know this and that I don’t use it.

My brother reckons the word is “fake”, by which I think he means that this one isn’t really used.

He’s never heard or used it either.

I don’t know why the Independent would add a fake word in their list, but let’s just say that you can probably avoid the word “Dench” and not worry about it at all.

If you’ve heard or seen the word being used, add a comment to the comment section.

I’ve just done a quick google check and there are entries for the word in Collins (but not an “official” definition – it was added by a user) and Urban Dictionary – both confirming that the word basically means “nice” or “Awesome” but there aren’t that many entries for it.

So I think we can conclude that it is a new phrase, probably only used by a few people, particularly younger generations.

28. Dim

Tim’s a jolly good bloke. A bit dim though.

29. Doddle

That exam was an absolute doddle.

30. Dog’s dinner

You made an absolute dog’s dinner of that.

Follow me on Twitter @EnglishPodcast

 

 

622. General Ramble (Oct 2019) Learning English / Politics / Recording Setup / Book Recommendation / Beatles / Star Wars / Bill Bailey

Rambling on my own about all sorts of things including Brexit news, describing my recording setup and microphones, a book recommendation for you, comments about the Beatles Abbey Road 50th Anniversary, the latest Star Wars Episode 9 trailer and Bill Bailey dissecting music in a brilliant way.

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Episode Notes & Videos

Rick Thompson Report/Politics

🤷‍♂️

My Recording Setup

A Shure SM57 into a CL1 Cloudlifter then into a Behringer Q502 and then into the Zoom H5.

Book Recommendation

One Train Later by Andy Summers

The Beatles Abbey Road 50th Anniversary

Star Wars Episode 9 The Rise of Skywalker

Episode 9 Trailer

RedLetterMedia predict the plot of Star Wars 9

Bill Bailey & Music

621. British TV: Dragons’ Den (Part 3) Discord in the Den

One more episode about this TV series involving entrepreneurs getting investment for their business startups. In this one there’s plenty of disagreement and some strong feedback from the Dragons.

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A bit of language

  • They’ve applied in their droves, eager to get an investment.
  • It’s the Dragons’ own money on the line.
  • The rest will leave empty-handed.
  • Going on DD must be very nerve-wracking.
  • They’re giving him a healthy dose of reality, but also it’s pretty brutal feedback.
  • They’re going to go to town on him.
    5.20
  • Peter Jones just looks bewildered.
  • His steadfast belief in his product may be admirable but that’s not enough for Peter Jones.
  • I am pleading with you not to do it.

Pitch 1 starts at 01:53 // Pitch 2 starts at 13:35

Leave me your comment – don’t be a ninja!

620. British TV: Dragons’ Den (Part 2) Negotiation

Listen to a real business negotiation and learn loads of English in the process. Vocabulary, scripts and notes available below.

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Transcript & Notes

Welcome back to LEP. This is part 2 of this mini series I’m going to do about BBC Dragons’ Den, the TV show about entrepreneurs trying to raise finance for their business startups by going to meet the Dragons – a group of 5 business angels looking to make money by investing in interesting new business propositions.

In part 1 of this I did a long business ramble all about the different factors and considerations involved in an entrepreneur attempting to do an investment deal with a private equity investor. That covered loads of vocabulary relating to loads of different areas of business and laid the ground work for this episode in which we are going to use a real pitch from an episode of Dragons’ Den as a case study from which we can learn loads of English.

Also, the story of this particular investment is particularly interesting and the negotiation takes an unexpected turn which creates more emotional drama than you might expect from a business meeting.

So, at the end of part 1 we listened to Kirsty Henshaw’s original pitch. Let’s listen to that again and break it down for language. After that we’ll listen to the rest of the meeting in bits. We’ll listen and then listen again and break it all down.

This should be a really good one! I hope you’re listening carefully. We might be able to get all of this done in this episode, we will see. There are other Dragons’ Den pitches that I’d like to do too so I might add another episode with some other pitches as well. So perhaps this will be a 3 or 4 part series.

Right, so let’s listen to Kirsty Henshaw again and remember my questions from before.

  • How much investment does she need? £65,000
  • What equity stake is she offering in return? 15%
  • What exactly is the product? A healthy alternative to ice-cream – a frozen dessert (free from dairy, sugar, soya, nuts – everything! But what’s actually in it?)
  • Why does she need the investment? To buy stock, raise brand awareness with marketing and PR

Would you like to invest?
What questions would you like to ask next?

Kirsty’s pitch begins at 44:00

Peter Jones
It tastes more like frozen yoghurt. Is that fair?
– She wanted a healthy option, similar to ice cream but there’s no dairy that’s why it’s a frozen desert.
How much has it cost so far?
£20,000
How many have you sold?
2,500 units
Went to a big meeting with a large supermarket – it’s completely unique, some of the staff had heard about it before
Do you have any forecasts in the first year?
– 300,000 units – starting to get into bigger places now

Duncan Bannatyne
How healthy is it? How much fat is in it?
– Less than 3% fat in all of them, no sugar in any, carbohydrates are from fruit extracts, a good form of sugar

James Caan
What are the ingredients?
Brown rice milk (because soya isn’t great for children and rice milk is a good digestive enzyme), the fat is organic virgin coconut oil, sweetened with extract of apple, carob and grape.

Deborah Meaden
How far are you down the track with the supermarket?
– Min 400 stores from Sept when they do their refresh
Are they committed?
– At least 350-400 stores to trial it

Theo Paphetis
Which supermarket is it?
– Tesco
They must have asked you whether you could produce in the right volume?
Yes
What did you say?
– I said yes because I’ve spoken to the manager of the biggest ice cream manufacturers and they can make it no problem, if we get the order (volume – numbers)

James Caan
Do you have any idea what Tesco’s potentially could order?
– At least four flavours for each store to start with
How many in a case?
12
If they sold one case per week per store, that’s 400 cases. How much do you make per unit?
– Just over one pound
So 4,000 per week is what you’d make. That’s 200,000 a year.
– Not including my current suppliers
What did you forecast your profit in year one?
– £300,000
So that forecast is not a million miles out. There’s some substance around it.

What’s your background?
Uni (sports science), but had to leave because mind was on the business

Theo
Who is Worhingshaw’s?
– Mix of boyfriend and her name – to make it sound like it had been around for a while
Have you really done all this on your own?
– Yes
How do you invest the money in this?
– 2 jobs and a bit of a night job, and my little boy
You’re pretty amazing aren’t you?
– No, not really.
[She starts crying]
This has been really tough for you hasn’t it?
– I just do it all for my little boy. I just want him to have a good life.
I’ve got to be honest with you. I’m finding it really really difficult to actually take on board what you’ve achieved. It’s phenomenal. I’m totally blown away by it. I’m going to make you an offer. You’ve come in here asking for 60,000 for 15% but I want 40%.
And I’ll explain to you why. Because I’m not going to give you 60,000, I’m giving you 100,000 because that’s what I believe you need to make this business successful.

Deborah Meaden
Let me tell you where I am. I think you’ve done a great job against all odds, but here’s my blunt and honest truth to you. I’m not going to beat Theo’s offer so I’m not going to waste my time making you one. Thank you very much but I’m out.

Peter Jones
Where do you want to take it? You’d love to see this product in every shop. Reggae Reggae Sauce was a big success because of Levi Roots’ whole story. You could be the frozen desert version of Levi Roots.

For that reason I’d like to make you an offer for the full amount but I only want 25% of the company.

James Caan
Let me wish you every success but you’re not going to need my offer so I’m out (there are already deals on the table).

Duncan Bannatyne
I’ll match Peter’s offer (£60,000 for 25%)

Kirsty
I don’t want to give 40% away but thank you for your offer Theo.
I’m really confused now because I know you’re both brilliant.
You’re both ideal to help me, so I don’t really know what to do now.

Peter
If we raised it to 30% so we got 15% each, I’m more than happy to work with Duncan if that’s something he would accept (yes).

Kirsty
I’d really like to work with both of you. It would be ideal so thank you very much I’d really like to accept your offers.

That’s it!

What do you think? Would you like some more Dragons’ Den on the podcast?

Let me know your thoughts in the comment section.

617. Sales and Advertising (with Paul Taylor)

A language-focused episode looking at words and phrases that you often see and hear in advertising and sales situations. Also includes discussion of sales techniques, Apple’s sales and marketing strategy and also a classic bit of stand-up by the late great George Carlin.

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Introduction Transcript

Hello dear listeners, how are you today?

Here is an episode with Paul all about the subject of advertising and sales, with a bit of marketing thrown in there too. So this is a language-focused episode looking at words and phrases that you often see and hear in advertising and sales situations. It also includes discussion of sales techniques, Apple’s sales and marketing strategy and also a classic bit of stand-up by the late great George Carlin.

The episode starts with a discussion between Paul and me about Paul’s experiences of working in sales jobs at Apple, including selling their products to customers on the shop floor and how Apple markets its products to people. Then we go through a big list of words and phrases relating to sales situations in various ways, including the typical things you might read on packaging, advertising or sales material. The list is pretty long but it all leads up to the comedy sketch at the end, which includes all the phrases. That comedy bit, by the way, does contain some very rude language, so there’s a heads up if that’s not your cup of tea.

So get your vocabulary learning hat on for this episode and also let’s get stuck into the topic of sales and advertising, with Paul.


Positive or Negative?

You’re interested in buying a new product (e.g. a fantastic portable tumbler, or some Southwest Pacific Air). You look at the sales literature for the item and see some of these phrases and conditions. Are they positive or negative?

all sales are final

allow six weeks for delivery

authentic

no purchase necessary

batteries not included

classic

convenient

economy

custom

deluxe

designer

luxury

each item sold separately

easy terms

affordable prices

experience

free installation

free admission

free appraisal

free alterations

free delivery

free estimates

free home trial

and free parking

no cash? no problem!

friendly service

genuine

imitation

gourmet

high-quality

hospitality

low rates

Leather / leather-style

limited time only

mileage may vary

money-back guarantee

name brands

no down payment

no entry fee

no fuss

no hidden charges

no kidding!

no mess

no risk

no obligation

no payments or interest until September

no one will call on you

no red tape

offer good while supplies last

order today

performance

premium

prestige

quality

savings

select

selection

send no money

service

so act now

some assembly required

some items not available

some restrictions may apply

style

two to a customer

value


Ending

So that was Sales and Advertising with Paul.

As usual, let me know your thoughts relating to this episode.

What do you think of sales and advertising?

Do you work in sales? Have you noticed any particular techniques or use of language that helps you sell things?

What do you think of adverts on TV or the way things are promoted to you on the internet?

How do you feel about clickbait? Do you ever click on those articles?

Do you think graffiti is ok in public places? How is that different to advertising in the sense that we don’t get any choice over what is displayed to us in public? What about drawing graffiti on advertising that’s in public spaces?

The subject of sales, advertising and marketing is a big one and I expect to come back to it on the podcast at some point because there’s loads of things we could do with that.

Business English is always something that I’ve saved and never done on the podcast. I was always planning to do a business English podcast or a business English course, but without calling it a business English course, because people don’t seem to like the word business. It sounds all heavy and dark, like the dark side or the Death Star or something. But English in professional situations is really interesting and I’m talking about things like how we negotiate, how we deal with being diplomatic in meetings, how we do presentations and socialise with people. I was actually working on a business course and have loads of unfinished material for it. I must go back to that but in the meantime I might dip into some more businessy subjects in the future. We will see. But let me know about your interest in business English and if you’d like to learn the ways of the dark side and fulfil your destiny and all that stuff.

But for now, it’s pretty much time for the end of the episode. Thank you for listening as usual.

If the spirit moves you, you could leave me a lovely lovely review on iTunes or apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Getting positive reviews helps to promote my podcast on those platforms. It’s more likely to end up in recommended selections and things like that, so it helps the podcast a great deal.

Otherwise, you can always donate with one of the yellow paypal buttons, sign up to LEP Premium at www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium and check out my sponsors italki at www.teacherluke.co.uk/talk

You’ve been listening to Luke’s English Podcast and until next time, good bye  bye bye bye…


Simon Sinek – Start With Why

Adam & Joe – Free Stuff

George Carlin’s Advertising Lullaby

Advertising Lullaby – Lyrics

Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience
Economy, savings, performance, experience, hospitality
Low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms
Affordable prices, money-back guarantee

Free installation, free admission, free appraisal, free alterations
Free delivery, free estimates, free home trial, and free parking

No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss
No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment
No entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary
No one will call on you, no payments or interest till September

Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money
Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately
Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final
Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available
Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply

So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation
With our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced and
Knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a
Selection that’s just right for you and just right for your budget

And say, don’t forget to pick up your free gift: a classic deluxe
Custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select
Gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking
No purchase necessary. It’s our way of saying thank you

And if you act now, we’ll include an extra added free complimentary
Bonus gift at no cost to you: a classic deluxe custom designer
Luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet combination
Key ring, magnifying glass, and garden hose, in a genuine
Imitation leather-style carrying case with authentic vinyl trim
Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It’s our way of
Saying thank you

Actually, it’s our way of saying ‘Bend over just a little farther
So we can stick this big advertising dick up your ass a little bit
Deeper, a little bit deeper, a little bit DEEPER, you miserable
No-good dumbass fucking consumer!’

 

616. Can you find the 15 idioms? (with Paul Taylor)

Listen to Luke and Paul play a conversation game and try to spot 15 common idioms. All idioms are demonstrated, explained and listed on the website.

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Introduction Transcript

Hello everyone and welcome back to this podcast which is made by me in my flat in order to help you learn English and also enjoy learning English too!

If you heard the last episode, you’ll remember that I was planning to play an idioms game with Paul. That’s what you’re going to hear in this episode – a game with Paul in which we have to try to include some idioms into our conversation seamlessly.

What you can do in this episode is not only follow the conversation as usual, but also try to spot all the idioms as they crop up. There are 15 in total. Admittedly, about 3 of them are explained and defined at the beginning, but 12 others are slipped into the conversation and then explained and defined at the end.

So, can you spot all the idioms during the conversation? Do you know them already? Can you work out what they mean from context? This is good practice because it encourages you to pay attention and notice new language as it occurs in natural conversation. Noticing is actually an important skill which can really help with language acquisition.

This from the British Council’s website for teacher development, teachingenglish.org.uk

When learners “notice” new language, they pay special attention to its form, use and meaning. Noticing is regarded as an important part of the process of learning new language, especially in acquisition-driven accounts of language learning, when learners at some point in their acquisition, notice their errors in production. Noticing will only occur when the learner is ready to take on the new language.

Example
A learner might make an error in the use of a preposition, but “notice” its correct use by another learner, or in an authentic text. This might allow them to begin to use it correctly.

www.teachingenglish.org.uk/article/noticing

It’s an important skill to develop – to be able to notice language, to identify certain bits of grammar, or certain fixed expressions like idioms, notice the form (all the individual words used to create the idiom) and the meaning. It helps you identify differences between your use of English and the way it is used by natives, and that comparison allows you to then adapt your English accordingly. This awareness of what kind of English you’re aiming for is vital.

Developing noticing skills is an important part of developing learner autonomy and your language acquisition skills. The better you are at noticing, the more you are able to learn English by just listening to audio that you enjoy, rather than going through a language coursebook which teaches you specific language items. So, I encourage you to pay special attention during this episode on idioms and fixed expressions. Obviously idioms are confusing because they’re not literal – the whole phrase means something different to the individual words being used.

About the idioms you will hear. These are all very common ones. Some of them you are bound to have heard before and will not be new to you. In a way though, if you have heard them before I’m not concerned. That just means that you’re starting to learn all our idioms, which is a good thing. Remember that you also have to be able to use these idioms, not just understand them. When you do use them, be extra sure that you’re using them 100% correct – for example you’re not using a wrong little word here or there, or perhaps collocating the phrase with the wrong verb or something.

The topic of conversation just happens to be Paul’s brother Kyle who we talk about on the podcast occasionally. In case you don’t know – Kyle Taylor is a professional footballer who plays for the Premiership team Bournemouth FC, although he is still yet to make his Premiership debut. A debut is your first game. So he hasn’t played in the Premiership yet (he’s only about 20) but he has played in the FA Cup.

Alright, so you can listen to Paul and I discussing Kyle and his footballing career, amongst other things, and you have to spot the idioms, which will all be explained at the end. All the idioms are listed on the page for this episode on the website, so check them out there if you want to see specific things like spellings, the specific form of the idioms and so on.

Right, without any further ado, let’s begin!


Ending

Remember, all those idioms are listed on the page for this episode. So check them out.

The Idioms List from this game

  1. (to go) back to the drawing board
  2. to mind your Ps and Qs
  3. to feel under the weather
  4. to be all ears
  5. to take the bull by the horns
  6. a hat-trick
  7. to save something for a rainy day
  8. to pull your socks up
  9. to be down in the dumps
  10. to let the cat out of the bag
  11. to bend over backwards
  12. to get your skates on
  13. to call a spade a spade
  14. to be full of beans
  15. not a sausage

What did you think of the episodes about the mystery game? I don’t know what you all thought of that? Did you enjoy it? Was it too difficult to follow? Give me your feedback. You can do that on the website.

Get in touch and let me know how it’s going for you.

 

615. Paul Taylor Became a Dad, and you won’t believe what happened next

Find out about Paul Taylor’s life now that he’s the father of a newborn baby. How’s the baby doing? How are Paul and his wife coping? What happened during the birth? How has Paul managed to create an entirely new 1-hour comedy show, while also moving house and dealing with the madness of parenthood? How does he feel about it all? What exactly is making him angry this time? Listen on to find out.

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LEP Meetup in London (Sat 28 Sept at 6pm – Fitzroy Tavern)

Calling all London LEPsters! Following on from the success of the last meetup, there’s going to be another one in London. The date is Saturday 28th September 2019. The venue is the same as before – the Firtzroy Tavern, 16 Charlotte St, Fitzrovia, London W1T 2LY. The time – 6pm.

The Fitzroy is a classic old London pub. Various famous writers and acclaimed people have spent time there, including George Orwell, the man who wrote 1984 and Animal Farm amongst other great work. Now it’s the location of LEP meetups in London. You can get drinks and food, Zdenek Lukas is organising it again, with his board games, and I think some of the gang from the last meetup are going to return but new people are very welcome too. There will be games, friendly conversation and laughs and a good chance to practice your English and make some new friends with like-minded people.

Saturday 28th September 2019. The Firtzroy Tavern, 16 Charlotte St, Fitzrovia, London W1T 2LY. The time – 6pm.

Introduction Transcript

Hi folks, how are you all doing? And how about you, yes specifically you? How’s that thing that’s been bothering you a bit? Has it cleared up? How did that thing go? You know the thing you had to do? Did it go ok? If you’re driving while listening to this, please keep your eyes on the road at all times. If you’re running while listening (maybe for exercise, or maybe in order to escape something, like a bear) then keep it up! Don’t stop running! If you’re walking somewhere, don’t forget the old combination – right foot, left foot , right foot, left foot etc. If you’re sitting still, then I hope you are nice and comfy. Good. Now that the conditions are right, let’s continue.

So, Paul Taylor is back on the podcast. I’ve been wondering what title to choose for this episode. I was considering “Baby Update with Paul” but I thought that sounded a bit boring and flat. I considered calling it “Down in the Dumps with Paul Taylor” but that won’t make much sense until you’ve heard the next episode. Having the right title on an episode can make all the difference. It’s the thing that entices people to actually click the play button and listen. Most people probably just listen regardless of the title, but nevertheless, the title is vital as the most direct way to market the episode to your listeners. So it is something that I find myself scratching my head over sometimes.

So that’s why, this time, I’ve gone with the most clickbait-y title I could think of. “Paul Taylor Became a Dad – and you won’t believe what happened next” is exactly the sort of title you get on those annoying online articles that you somehow can’t resist clicking on. So there it is. Now you will have to listen in order to decide if the “You won’t believe what happened next” part of the title is justifiable or not. But that’s it – the title is an experiment in clickbait and a kind of ironic joke too. Anyway, to get straight to the point – this episode is about Paul’s experience of becoming a father for the first time.

For this episode I originally had a plan to do an idioms game with Paul, which would involve us talking and trying to naturally add some idioms into our conversation, but I forgot to introduce the game at the start of the episode because we immediately went flying down the rabbit hole of Paul’s baby news. So, no idioms game – that’s going to be in the next one. And this episode is slightly shorter than normal, which makes a nice change. That’s because after half an hour we decided to start doing the game and I’ve decided to make that another episode of the podcast, which will be the next one. So, an idioms game with Paul is coming up in the next episode, which means that this episode is basically a catching up chat with Paul focusing on life as a new Dad.

You might have heard the episode I did nearly 2 years ago about the arrival of my daughter. It’s episode 502.

In that one I talked with my wife about what happened when our baby arrived, what it is like, how the baby is getting on and everything. My wife and I are lucky that we had no major issues, the baby was born healthy and happy and in the weeks and months afterwards we enjoyed the experience of having a third member of the family with us and it felt all loved up and sweet, but it’s not always like that. It depends on the child and the situation you’re in. One thing’s for sure though, having a baby is a bit like a bomb going off in your life. It can cause quite a lot of difficulty, chaos and fatigue in ways that you don’t expect.

So this time it’s the turn of Paul Taylor and his wife and I will let you listen to Paul describing his experiences of looking after their newborn, what happened during the birth, and whether it has been a fairly easy ride so far, or on the contrary – something of an exhausting ordeal.

In any case, I would like to wish them both a hearty congratulations, but let’s now find out how Paul has been getting on with it all.

Your job as ever is just to try and keep up with the chat and see if there are any new words or phrases you can spot. It might be worth revisiting some of my other episodes about having kids, especially ones in which I explain all the relevant vocab (ep162 was all about that). There’s a list of episodes on the page for this episode on the website (below).

Alright then, so without further ado – let’s find out how Paul’s been getting on.


Conversation with Paul begins – How does he feel about being a dad?


Ending Script

That’s the end of this part. I just want to say thanks again to Paul and to wish him and his wife well. To be honest it sounds like they’ve been having a really hard time with the baby crying constantly, which is horrible. When your child cries, it is a truly horrible feeling. It gets you right in your soul and it’s like torture. It can be very tough to be stuck indoors with a crying baby all day every day. It can drive you round the bend. I really hope it gets better soon and the two of them can start to enjoy parenthood properly.

It’s tough having kids, there’s no doubt about it. It can be horrible – but somehow the good things carry you through the bad things. I just hope they get to taste some of the good stuff soon, because there is a lot of joy in having kids. For me it got much better when our daughter started interacting with us more and now it’s very funny and entertaining trying to have conversations with her. I hope Paul can enjoy that too in the near future.

I must say I am very impressed that he’s managed to come up with an entirely new 1-hour comedy show during all of this. That is very difficult, especially when your first show was developed over 3 years and was a big hit. Now he has to do it all again, but he has done it. A new 1 hour show called “So British (ou presque)” and you can see it at a venue called FLOW in Paris from 18 October to 4 January. More details on the website (below).

www.francebillet.com/place-spectacle/manifestation/One-man-woman-show-PAUL-TAYLOR-FLTAY.htm#/calendrier/

Idioms Game (next episode)

You heard there that I mentioned the idioms card game I had intended to play during the conversation. That’s what’s going to happen in the next episode. A game in which you can try to spot various common idioms in our conversation, and we’ll explain and clarify them for you too.

Just a reminder, you can check out previous episodes I’ve done about parenthood if you’re interested in learning more vocabulary about the subject. Check out episode 161 which was a conversation with a heavily pregnant Amber Minogue about what it’s like being 8 months pregnant. The following episode (162) covers a lot of vocabulary relating to pregnancy, childbirth and childcare. Then there’s episode 502 which is wife and me chatting. And if you remember there are also several episodes with Ben and Andy from the London School, in which they both prepare me (and scare me) ahead of the birth of my daughter. (Links at the bottom of the page)

Raising Bilingual Children 

On the subject of having children and learning English, I have received quite a lot of requests about doing a podcast about how to raise children to be bilingual. I guess quite a lot of you out there are having children too and you really want them to grow up to be effective speakers of English. What’s the best way to achieve this? How do you bring up kids to speak another language?

This is actually a really complicated question and there are many different situations in which this might be a concern.

One parent speaks a different language, but the family lives in the home country of the other parent (my situation, same as many of my friends)

The two parents are from one country, but living in a different place now and bringing up a child there.

The two parents are non-natives living in a non-English speaking place, but they want their child to grow up speaking English.

How do you go about helping the child to learn English? Also, how do I talk to my daughter? What is the typical way to talk to children in English? Are there any particular phrases or words that we use.

So this is actually a pretty big project and to properly deal with it I think it’s necessary to perhaps get the benefit of qualified professionals who know about the various kinds of research into second language acquisition for kids and the ins and outs of bilingualism in children.

So, what I plan to do is interview my friends about their experiences of bringing up bilingual kids. I also would like to take advantage of my contacts at the BC and ask some of our staff for their professional opinions regarding bilingualism and how you can help your kids to learn English.

So this is a podcast series that requires some preparation but it’s one that I’m going to start working on soon.

In the meantime – I’m interested in your comments, if any of you out there has experience of raising a child to be bilingual – I want to hear from you. Let me know about techniques, experiences, challenges, methods – anything relating to bringing up kids who speak English. I am particularly interested in success stories of bringing up a child to speak English when English is not your native tongue, or the native tongue of your partner and you’re not living in an English speaking country. For example, Polish parents (who probably speak English a bit) bringing up a Polish child in Poland to speak good English from childhood. That might be you (but in a different country I expect). So, if you have things to say about this – send me a comment or an email. I’d like to gather together some thoughts, anecdotes and tips which I can make part of future episodes. So, have a think and get in touch with me via my website teacherluke.co.uk

Finally – London-based LEPsters, don’t forget about the official LEP meetup happening on Saturday 28th September 2019. The venue is the same as before – the Firtzroy Tavern, 16 Charlotte St, Fitzrovia, London W1T 2LY. The time – 6pm.

Reminders:

  • LEP Premium
  • Website mailing list
  • Download the app
  • Check out italki
  • Consider sending a donation to support the podcast

That’s it for this episode! Thank you for listening. The next one will feature a vocabulary game featuring about 15 different common English idioms for you to spot and learn. That’s coming soon. But for this episode it’s just time to say BYE BYE BYE!

Previous Episodes about Parenthood / Babies / Vocabulary

161. She’s Having a Baby (with Amber Minogue)

162. Having Babies: Vocabulary / A Male Perspective

502. The Birth of My Daughter

491. Becoming a Dad (with Andy & Ben) Part 1

492. Becoming a Dad (with Andy & Ben) Part 2

Paul’s last (pre-baby) appearance on the podcast

597. Growing Up / Getting Older / Becoming a Father (with Paul Taylor)

Let me know your comments about raising bilingual children!