226. On a Boat

aka “The Boat that Rocked” or “The Drunk Episode 2”. In this episode I spent the evening on a narrowboat on a canal in a part of North London known as Little Venice, with my friends Alex, Paul, Moz and Dave. Join us as we talk about life on a canal boat in London, the first jobs we ever had, answers to a few questions sent in by a long-term listener called Hiroshi, and explanations of various rude expressions and jokes which came up spontaneously during the conversation. Please be aware that this episode contains strong language, rude & explicit content and plenty of bad jokes. Right-click here to download.

Small Donate ButtonHello, this is a special introduction to this episode of Luke’s English Podcast.

Before you listen to the recording in this episode I would just like to warn you that this one contains material which you might find offensive, confusing or just plain stupid, including: failed attempts at humour, bad jokes, vague sexual innuendo, rude words, swearing, references to body parts, disgusting sound effects and general behaviour which would definitely be inappropriate in polite company. The conversation that you’re going to hear in this episode was recorded privately with friends, in a very informal setting. It is not suitable for children. It’s not really suitable for intelligent adults either to be honest. I present it here with great reservation, against my better judgement and with the understanding that some of you may find it purile, unamusing, difficult to understand, offensive or just plain unnecessary, and that publishing this episode may cause you to abandon Luke’s English Podcast, throw your phone into a lake, or even spit onto the ground in pure disgust.

However, despite my reservations to that effect, I also realise there is probably a certain section of my audience who love a bit of filth, and who would like nothing better than to listen in on a conversation between some English friends amusing themselves by talking ‘crap’ together over a few beers. In fact, I publish this conversation with those members of my audience in mind. Are you bored of listening to ‘safe’ English which has had all the rudeness removed from it? Are you fed up with being taught only the ‘nice’ English which you are supposed to speak, but which you suspect no native speakers actually use in their private lives? Do you ever have the lingering feeling that native English speakers present a ‘clean’ version of their language to you in lessons, but in private they speak a rather different form of the language – one that involves plenty of inappropriate and immature dirty jokes? Would you like to have the chance to sit with some Londoners on a canal boat while they drink beer and talk nonsense, without regard for the normal polite conventions of a language classroom or a business meeting? Well, if that’s what you want, then all you have to do is keep listening to this episode of Luke’s English Podcast which was recorded several weeks ago on a canal boat in North London, with a group of slightly drunk idiots. Idiots who I am proud to call my friends, and the group which I happily consider myself a member. Welcome to Luke’s English Podcast…

  • IvanKorjavin

    I listened to it several times.
    It’s a brilliant one .

    Which episodes I can listen to, with the same style?

    • Hi Ivan,
      Try listening to the Brighton Festival episodes, “Friday Night Banter” and maybe “The Story of Salvo”.

      • IvanKorjavin

        Thank you a lot! I am going to that just now!

        Also, it was so funny how your friends pronounced your name like a French name, I’ve listened to that endlessly.

    • Ptholome

      Why don’t you try to transcribe it. Because the drunk friends are not really understandable. Also they overcome each others…

  • Great episode! As Mark commented before, the regular formal English is easily findable in so many websites, but this kind of episodes is which makes LEP unique! Well done! Would be good to have more episodes like this more often! :)

    • Ptholome

      I hope not. Or at least without alcohol.

  • Hahaha the introduction is perfect.

  • Ricardo

    Luke,
    It was a great episode! I felt envy of you with your mades having a beer in a narrow boat… Could I participate the next? hahahaha.
    I’ ve laugh 70% of episode. The other 30% I have not understood properly, but I’m sure I´d laugh too If I had done.
    Bye