493. Catching Up with Amber & Paul #7 (Human Pollution)

Amber and Paul are back on the podcast as we catch up with their recent news and the conversation goes off on many tangents covering subjects such as: pollution and fog in Paris, a possible new word – ‘pog’, other potential new words of the year, Harvey Weinstein, wanking in the office, ‘human pollution in the swimming pool’, Paul’s recent showbiz news, seeing The Rolling Stones on stage and a slightly worrying email from a LEPster. Includes a cameo appearance by young Hugo, saying his first words on the podcast.

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Episode Notes

This is quite a disgusting episode at certain moments. There’s talk of masturbation and poo. Please prepare yourself accordingly.

  • The pollution and fog in Paris.
  • Potential new words of the year for 2017.
  • The Harvey Weinstein sex abuse scandal.
  • The Comedian’s Comedian Podcast with Stuart Goldsmith (and Reginald D Hunter)
  • Wanking (masturbating) in the Office (Big Train) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKH9ECC_Qa4
  • What’s Amber been doing?
  • A play date
  • “Human pollution” in the swimming pool.
  • Having to wear “speedos” or “budgie smugglers” in the swimming pool in France
  • How to fix technical issues:
    • Blow on it
    • Take the batteries out and put them back in again
    • Turn it off and turn it back on again
    • Leave it for a bit
  • Blowing at a hairdryer (they do get a bit clogged up at the back)
  • “Poo-l-lution”
  • What’s Paul been doing?
  • Touring around different cities in France
  • Making episodes of What’s Up France?
  • Seeing The Rolling Stones on their European Tour

A slightly worrying email from a LEPster

iñaki Sanchez
I really hate you and your podcast lucky Luke. Let me explain it please. I usually listen to certain podcasts like culips, vaughan radio etc. Those are very good podcasts and I have lived happily with them for quite a long time. I do not know yet how it came to my mind to find something else and here you are. Finally I found you….. or I´d better say I found your podcast. It seemed to be nice and I started using it. After a while I got hooked and started downloading all your podcasts.
It was then that I became horrified by the fact that there are around 500 episodes. I have to recognize they are quite good, to be honest they are very good…. Let´s say the truth they are awesome and that is the bad thing. I discover myself listening your episodes from the very beginning. As I cannot listen to more than 1 episode a day I reckon I will be doing it for good….. or maybe for bad because you are going to be the cause of my divorce.
My wife has begun accusing me of a lack of attention. Even my cat is angry with me now.
My neighbours look at me strangely, and I don´t know if I have to say I hate you or I love you. What do you recommend me Luke? Tell me the truth, because I trust you. Should I get divorced or just keep on listening to your marvelous podcasts. In the meantime here I am on the fence waiting impatiently for your answer. Could I ask you please not to do so well so that I can hook off [unhook from, or just “get off” if it’s a drug or “clean up”] and come back to life?
I think I am going bananas and this letter is the evidence. Help me Si´l vous plait and do not do it so well, because your podcast is driving me mad.
Iñaki from the Basque Country

Luke Thompson
Just get divorced.
Either that, or you try to convert your wife to the podcast. Have you tried that?
Try it, and if it doesn’t work – divorce.
;) :) :)

  • Agnes

    I’m in a happiness mode:-) Take it easy, read one by one…

  • Marta KL

    This episode is simply the best. I was listening to it during my run and I laughed so hard when little Hugo talked that I LITERALLY had to stop running because I couldn’t breathe :)))
    And that was just the beginning… Then came the parts with wanking in the office, human poo-l-lution and when you compared the members of Rolling Stones to your grandma in the end.. Oh my!!
    Thank you so much for this stuff. I think little Hugo deserves to be included in the Amber’s/Paul’s episodes jingle!

  • Ezio Xie

    Love it.
    Couple of months ago I started to re-listen all the PAL episodes and began to feel that
    though everyone says Amber’s got the loveliest voice, in my opinion, Paul’s accent would be my if-I-had-a-choice one, his laugh as well of course.

    I spontaneously imitate his accents, the glo’al ts, the fucks the idks etc. Just couldn’t stop it. Not to mention that I savoured all the episodes of WTFF over and over again and even began to learn French ( with Paul’s accent for sure ).

    Luke back to 6 months ago, my IELTS speaking was 7.5, now it’s 8.5.
    It’s absolutely Paulled up.

    Thank you Paul.
    And more importantly, thank you King Luke, I’ll stick to my donation.

    XIE XIAOKUN from Turin Italy, planning to visit Paris exclusively for your show.
    (I’m from Chinese Mainland)

    • Cat

      Congrats, Ezio, good job with the ‘paulling’ up! ;))

      And, have you visited Paris yet?

      • Ezio Xie

        Couple of years ago, but it was a very cliché turistic trip and I spoke neither French nor English at the time.

      • Ezio Xie

        And thanks haha

  • Olga Shamanova

    Great conversation! I enjoyed it very much! I really want to see photo with socks :)

  • Sergei

    Many thanks to Luke and his team for a nice episode. Well done

  • That’s it. I give up. Been learning English for about 20 years and a 3-year old dinosaur can speak better English than me. BYE…….bye ….b…..e…….y………

    • Nick

      Let’s give up together, Zdenek :)

      “a 3-year old dinosaur” :))