Listen to readings of “If—” by Rudyard Kipling, a popular poem from England. Includes analysis of the vocabulary and the themes in the poem and also a chance to enjoy the unique voice of Sir Michael Caine – with some funny impressions too. Transcript, vocabulary and videos available.
Hello, here’s an episode of the podcast devoted to one of the UK’s favourite poems.
I thought it was about time we looked at some poetry on the podcast. I was wondering which poem I could look at. In the end I’ve chosen one that is popular with lots of people in the UK. Sometimes poetry is a bit complicated and highbrow, but this particular poem is pretty clear and not too challenging or anything, while also touching upon ideas that most people can relate to. So I think it’s probably a good one for us to do.
We’re going to listen to the poem, understand the vocabulary used, and talk about the general meaning of the poem too.
You’ll also be able to listen to the voice of Michael Caine, and hear some Michael Caine impressions too.
The poem in question is called “If -” by Rudyard Kipling. That’s it… “If -“.
It has been voted the UK’s favourite poem in a number of polls done by the BBC. So, let’s listen to this much loved poem being read out by a couple of different people and then analyse the lines for their full meaning and pick up some vocabulary in the process.
“If-” by Rudyard Kipling
“If—” is a poem by British Nobel laureate Rudyard Kipling (a nobel laureate is someone who won the nobel prize for their poetry). The poem was written in 1895 and was first published in 1910.
It is written in the form of paternal advice to the poet’s son. You can imagine that the poet is talking to his son about life and teaching him what it means to be a man.
Grammatically, it’s basically one huge ‘if clause’ with each line beginning with the word ‘if’ and then concluding at the end of the poem. It might actually be the world’s longest conditional sentence – “if you do this and this and this, then eventually, this will happen”. Like, “If you do plenty of practice, stay motivated and don’t give up then eventually you’ll be a fluent English speaker.”
As poetry, “If—” is a literary example of the principles of Victorian-era stoicism. This is a set of attutides that became popular in the UK during the Victorian period. By stoicism I mean a kind of attitude and approach to life that involves being tolerant of difficulty, showing a sort of calm self-discipline, having control over your emotions, being patient, accepting difficulty and having a quiet determination to just keep calm and carry on. It could also be described as the principle of “stiff upper lip”, which British people often consider to be a national virtue. If your upper lip is stiff, or firm, I suppose it means that you have your emotions under control.
Often Brits will talk about how they are proud to be tolerant (not just of things like cultural differences, but of difficulty, discomfort and hardship) and I think we quite like the idea that we are in control of our emotions because it shows strength of character. This is what “If–” is about and because of this, the poem remains a cultural touchstone in the UK.
We’re not always self controlled of course. You can’t generalise. There are times when Brits intentionally lose all self-control – like when they get drunk on a Friday night or when they go on holiday to Majorca or something, and get drunk there. Those moments seem to be like time off from being self-controlled. Also, these days, I think British people are more in touch with their emotions than they used to be.
But this poem is all about the side of the British personality that is all about quiet strength, fair play and not losing your head in a crisis.
It is also like a of self-help mantra which inspires people to try and do the right thing and probably gives people some inspiration for living your life correctly and dealing with times of difficulty.
For these reasons it’s often voted one of the UK’s favourite poems.
Listen to Academy Award winning actor Michael Caine reading the poem
Listen to Michael Caine reading the poem. All the sentences start with IF – how do you think the poem will end.
If you’re already familiar with the poem, you can just enjoy the voice one of our favourite actors. Michael Caine
“If—” by Rudyard Kipling
The audio comes from a YouTube video uploaded by Peace One Day www.peaceoneday.org/
Peace One Day is a non-profit organisation that was founded in 1999. In 2001 due to their efforts the member states of the United Nations unanimously adopted the first ever annual day of global ceasefire and non-violence on 21 September – Peace Day.
Peace One Day’s objective is to institutionalise Peace Day 21 September, making it a day that is self-sustaining, an annual day of global unity, a day of intercultural cooperation on a scale that humanity has never known.
I guess these ideas are universal and this applies to everyone facing the challenges of life.
Girls – I hope you can relate to this too, even though he says “…and you’ll be a man my son”.
Read it again and analyse the words
“If—” by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you’re in a stressful situation in which everyone else is losing their heads and saying it’s your fault, but you stay cool and stay in control…
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
Everyone doubts you but you trust yourself, but you still consider their doubts in you – you don’t ignore them
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, (patience is a virtue)
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
other people are lying about you, but you manage to avoid lying
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
others hate you, and you feel pressure to hate them too, but you resist that pressure and don’t give in to hatred, or give way to hatred – don’t let hatred come in – it’s sounding a bit like the Jedi code here
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
stay modest in your appearance, and also don’t talk like you know it all
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
have dreams, ambitions and ideas but keep them in perspective so you’re not just a dreamer but someone who is still practical and pragmatic – a doer not just a dreamer
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
you can be thoughtful, but manage to actually do things rather than just thinking about things all the time
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
don’t let success go to your head, but don’t let failure get you down either – an imposter is something or someone who is not welcome or someone who is pretending to be someone else – e.g. someone who claims to be an experienced pilot and fakes their ID, or someone in a hospital who claims to be a doctor but isn’t
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
if you can stand having your words manipulated by dishonest people – e.g. in the press or in a court of law) (to bear something = to tolerate something) (twisted = changed, distorted, manipulated) (knaves = dishonest and untrustworthy people, it’s an old fashioned word)
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build them up with worn-out tools:
see your life’s work, ruined and then just start again even though the tools you’re using are damaged by lots of use
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
(you take a big pile of all the money you’ve won and risk it all on one go – if you’re willing to take big risks) (a game of pitch-and-toss is an old gambling game in which you ‘pitch’ a coin – throw it – towards a mark on the ground. The one who gets closest to the mark wins the right to ‘toss’ all the coins which have been thrown. To toss means ‘throw’ but specifically to ‘toss a coin’ means to throw it up so it spins and then lands. If you win you can toss all the coins and you can keep all the ones that land with the heads facing up” – so basically, if you can win loads of money and then risk it all on one game…
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
and then lose but just start again from scratch
And never breathe a word about your loss;
and never tell anyone you lost – that would be hard!
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
even when you’re exhausted you keep going and force your body to keep going, sinew = tendons, ligaments
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
so, just using your willpower you force your muscles, heart, ligaments to resist and keep going
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
if you can stay honest and moral even when you have the attention of a crowd of people – e.g. you might feel pressure to lie, bend the truth, tell them what they want to hear. Virtue = doing and thinking what is morally right. Adj – virtuous.
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch
if you spend time with rich and powerful people but never lose touch with ordinary life and people
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
Foes = enemies. You’re not affected by criticism or praise.
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you value everyone equally. Everyone counts – everyone is important.
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
if you can make the most of every single minute – the unforgiving minute means 60 seconds, no more no less. So, if you have the strength, stamina and determination to do your absolute best in every second of every minute
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Source: A Choice of Kipling’s Verse (1943)
Hear Michael Caine’s thoughts on it from the recording
If you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same.
Films can be either successful or failures. You have to be able to deal with both outcomes.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
When you’re a famous actor the press sometimes takes your words and uses them against you – especially the tabloid press.
He also says that war ruins everything. Also, every single war has been declared by men who are too old to go, and this has made him suspicious.
Impressions of Michael Caine’s Voice
Michael Caine’s voice. It’s quite distinctive. He comes from the East End of London – so it’s a cockney accent, basically – not very strong, but it is there. Also, his voice is unique (just like everyone’s voice is unique) and quite well-known. It’s so well-known that he is one of those actors that lots of people can impersonate, like Sean Connery.
How Michael Caine Speaks
You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! (The Italian Job)
Batman – The Dark Knight Rises “I won’t bury you”
- keep your head (stay calm, stay in control!)
- Don’t lose your head (don’t lose self control)
- (Don’t) Blame it on someone (it was his fault, he did it!)
- To have doubts (silent letter)
- Make allowance for something / take something into account (include something in your decision making process – e.g. when I plan lessons I have to make allowances for the fact that students come from different countries and cultural backgrounds)
- Don’t give way to hatred/anger/frustration = yield, give in (Star Wars)
(Star Wars: don’t give in to hatred)
- To be wise / to have wisdom (e.g. Yoda, Gandalf, Dumbledore, ObiWan Kenobi – most old dudes with grey hair and beards)
- Keep something in perspective (think about things in a reasonable way – e.g. Let’s get things in perspective / let’s keep things in perspective. Sure, we’re locked up in a Turkish jail, but at least we have each other! It’s not that bad! OK bad example. The doctor says I have a 1 in 200 chance of survival!!! Oh shit!!! Wait, let’s keep things in perspective. 1 in 200 is really quite good, and you’re quite young and in good shape. Don’t panic.)
- Treat someone/something like something (Don’t treat me like an idiot Tony!)
- Impostors = people who fake their identity in order to get in somewhere. “I felt like an imposter” (common usage) I think it’s quite common for us to feel like an imposter if we feel we don’t deserve the success we’ve had, or when we are in a situation that we don’t deserve to be in, because we feel inferior. Have you ever felt like that? You’re in a situation, you look around and everyone seems so impressive. They’re all so clever and have achieved so much and you feel like you’re not as good as them, and you’re not worthy to be there. You feel like an imposter. It’s a common feeling. I think this might be the situation in which the word “imposter” is most commonly used today, other than when someone has intentionally sneaked into a place by lying.
If you have ever felt like that, here’s a nice little anecdote from Neil Gaiman – a great author of short fiction novels, comic books and graphic novels.
- This is from an article I found on Quartz.com and it quotes Neil Gaiman from his Tumblr page. qz.com/984070/neil-gaiman-has-the-perfect-anecdote-for-anyone-with-impostors-syndrome/
Neil was asked if he had any advice for people experiencing imposter syndrome – that feeling of being an imposter.
Some years ago, I was lucky enough to be invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things. And I felt that at any moment they would realise that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things.
On my second or third night there, I was standing at the back of the hall, while some musical entertainment happened, and I started talking to a very nice, polite, elderly gentleman about several things, including our shared first name. And then he pointed to the hall of people, and said words to the effect of, “I just look at all these people, and I think, what the heck am I doing here? They’ve made amazing things. I just went where I was sent.”
And I said, “Yes. But you were the first man on the moon. I think that counts for something.”
And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for.
So, there you go – even Neil Armstrong feels like an imposter, and so does Neil Gaiman and many other people who’ve done good things.
How about you? Do you ever feel like an imposter?
- Bear to do something / bear to hear your words twisted (I just can’t bear to see him like this)
- To stoop (bend down)
- To build something up (create something from the bottom up)
- A heap of something (a pile)
- Winnings (all the stuff you won)
- Don’t breathe a word (don’t reveal a secret)
- Virtue / virtuous (opposites = dishonor, evil, immorality)
- The common touch (the ability to appeal to ordinary people)
- Friend / Foe
- Count (v) (all opinions count, every second counts) = to have merit, importance, value, etc.; deserve consideration
Finally, listen to Dave Bassett doing it in a scouse accent
I did an episode a while ago called “The Chaos of English Pronunciation” which included a couple of poems which are full of notoriously difficult words to pronounce in English. You can find that episode in the archive. It’s number 144