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901. Sherlock Holmes: The Adventure of The Speckled Band (Learn English with a Short Story)

Learn English with another classic Sherlock Holmes mystery story by Arthur Conan Doyle. In this episode my aim is to help you to understand and enjoy a Sherlock Holmes story. I’ll read the original text of this classic locked-room mystery to you, and will explain and summarise what is happening regularly. Just relax, listen carefully and try to enjoy this classic story. PDF available.

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Vocabulary List

Here are some words and phrases from the story “The Adventure of the Speckled Band” that Luke explains or clarifies during the episode:

  • Knock up: Holmes apologises for “knocking up” Watson, but Luke explains that this phrase had a different meaning in the Victorian era. Today, it’s a somewhat vulgar term for making someone pregnant. In the story, it just means “to wake someone up.”
  • Veiled: The lady who visits Holmes and Watson is “heavily veiled.” Luke explains this means she has a veil, a piece of fabric, covering her face.
  • Shivering: The lady is shivering, which usually means someone is cold. Luke points out she is shivering because she is terrified.
  • Pitiable state of agitation: Luke explains that this means the lady is in a very sorry state and very frightened. He further clarifies that “Haggard” means she looks exhausted, as if she has been through a horrible experience.
  • Singular: Watson calls the case “singular,” which Luke clarifies means unique.
  • The Roylotts: Luke explains that “The Roylotts” is the family name of the client’s stepfather and that they are a noble, upper class family like the one in “Downton Abbey”.
  • Stoke Moran: Luke clarifies that Stoke Moran is a fictional town.
  • Commonplace: Watson states that none of the cases he’s seen are commonplace. Luke points out that commonplace means ordinary or usual.
  • Deductive reasoning: Luke explains that deductive reasoning is a key element in Sherlock Holmes stories. Holmes looks at evidence and makes deductions (conclusions) about things that he cannot directly see.
  • Band: The title of the story refers to “The Speckled Band.” Luke points out that the word “band” has two meanings. It can refer to a group of people, like a band of musicians, or a strip of fabric, like a headband. The word “speckled” refers to a pattern of spots.
  • Estate: Luke clarifies that the word “estate” refers to the land and money owned by the family.
  • Mortgage: Luke explains that a mortgage is a type of bank loan taken out against a property.
  • Aristocratic pauper: Luke defines the term “pauper” as someone who is poor, explaining the seeming contradiction in the phrase “aristocratic pauper” is that Roylott’s father comes from a noble, upper class family, but has lost all of his money.
  • Butler: Luke describes a butler as the head servant in a house and imagines him wearing a suit, holding a tray, and serving tea.
  • Capital Sentence: When Helen Stoner says her stepfather narrowly escaped a “capital sentence,” Luke clarifies that she is referring to the death penalty.
  • Morose: Luke explains that “morose” means being in a bad mood.
  • Bequeathed: Luke clarifies that when the mother “bequeathed” her money to Royet, it means she promised to give it all to him in her will.
  • Seldom: Luke clarifies that seldom means rarely.
  • Save: Royet “seldom came out save to indulge in quarrels.” Luke explains that “save” in this context means “except.”
  • Mania: Luke explains that “mania” means extreme or violent anger.
  • Brawls: When Helen Stoner says Royet had been involved in a series of “brawls,” Luke explains that she means physical fights.
  • Gypsies: Luke explains that Gypsies are a group of traveling people and talks about the stereotypes associated with them.
  • Cheetah and Baboon: Luke clarifies the types of animals these are. A cheetah is a large, fast wild cat. A baboon is a type of monkey.
  • Grounds: Luke clarifies that Roylett’s “grounds” refers to the land surrounding his house.
  • Fortnight: Luke explains that a fortnight is a period of two weeks.
  • Impending misfortune: Helen Stoner had a “vague feeling of impending misfortune” the night her sister died. Luke explains this means she felt something bad was going to happen.
  • Gale: A “gale” is a very strong wind.
  • Hubbub: The “hubbub of the gale” refers to the loud noise of the wind and rain.
  • Horror-stricken: Luke explains that “horror-stricken” means terrified.
  • Hinges: Hinges are the metal joints on which a door swings open and closed.
  • Blanched: Luke clarifies that this means her face was white with terror.
  • Swayed to and fro: Julia was “swaying to and fro” like a drunk person, meaning her body was moving unsteadily from side to side.
  • Writhed: Julia “writhed” on the floor, meaning her body was twisting and turning as if in pain.
  • Convulsed: Luke explains that Julia’s limbs were “dreadfully convulsed,” meaning they were shaking violently and uncontrollably.
  • Fain: Julia would “fain have said” something else, meaning she wanted to say something but could not.
  • Brandy: Luke points out that brandy was seen as a solution to many problems in Victorian England and that it is a strong alcoholic drink.
  • Coroner: The coroner is the official who investigates sudden or unexplained deaths.
  • Sounded: The walls were “carefully sounded,” meaning they were checked to see if they were solid.
  • Shutters: Shutters are wooden or metal covers on the outside of windows.
  • Staples: Staples are metal fasteners.
  • Charred: The match in Julia’s hand was “charred,” meaning it had been burned.
  • Handkerchiefs: Handkerchiefs are square pieces of cloth used for wiping one’s nose or face.
  • Saxon: The Saxons were a group of people who came to England from what is now Denmark and Germany.
  • Dissolute and wasteful disposition: Helen Stoner describes four generations of her stepfather’s family as having “dissolute and wasteful dispositions,” meaning they were irresponsible with money.
  • Regency: The Regency was a period in British history from 1811 to 1820, when King George III was too ill to rule and his son, later George IV, acted as regent.
  • Squire: A squire was a country gentleman who owned land.
  • Bengal Artillery: The Bengal Artillery was a branch of the British Indian Army.
  • Half-pay major of Marines: A major is a rank in the British Army. “Half-pay” means the officer was retired and receiving half his usual salary. The Marines are a branch of the British armed forces.
  • Maiden sister: A maiden sister is a woman who has never married.
  • Harrow: Harrow is a town in northwest London.
  • Manifold wickedness: “Manifold” means “many and varied” in this context. Helen Stoner is saying she believes Holmes can see into the many different ways in which the human heart can be wicked.
  • Encompass: “To encompass” means to surround.
  • Opal Tiara: Luke describes a tiara as a piece of jewellery worn on the head, like a small crown.
  • Averted eyes: Helen Stoner says she could read from her fiance’s “soothing answers and averted eyes” that he didn’t believe her. “Averted eyes” means he was looking away from her.
  • Dog cart: A dog cart is a small cart that was pulled by a horse.
  • Leatherhead: Leatherhead is a town in Surrey, south of London.
  • Waterloo: Waterloo is a major railway station in London.
  • Frill: A frill is a decorative piece of fabric, usually gathered or pleated.
  • Cruelly used: Holmes can see that someone has been cruel to Helen Stoner.
  • Investments: Investments are assets that are purchased with the hope that they will generate income or increase in value.
  • Pittance: A pittance is a very small amount of money.
  • Dawdling: “To dawdle” means to waste time.
  • Revolver: A revolver is a type of handgun.
  • Insolence: Insolence is rude or disrespectful behaviour.
  • Confound: “To confound” means to confuse.
  • Zest: “Zest” means enthusiasm or excitement.
  • Scotland Yard: Scotland Yard is the headquarters of the London Metropolitan Police.
  • Imprudence: “Imprudence” means lack of care or good judgement.
  • Fleecy clouds: Fleecy clouds are white, fluffy clouds.
  • Shoots: Shoots are new growths on plants.
  • Moist earth: Moist means damp or slightly wet.
  • Sinister quest: A quest is a search or journey. “Sinister” means evil or threatening.
  • Trap: A trap is another term for a dog cart, or any light carriage pulled by a horse.
  • Timbered: “Timbered” means covered with trees.
  • Grove: A grove is a small group of trees.
  • Gables: Gables are the triangular upper parts of a wall at the end of a pitched roof.
  • Cluster: A cluster is a group of things close together.
  • Style: A style is a set of steps that allow people to climb over a fence or wall.
  • Footpath: A footpath is a narrow path for people to walk on.
  • Architect: An architect is a person who designs buildings.
  • Gossip: Gossip is casual conversation about other people, often involving rumour or speculation.
  • Lychen: Lychen is a type of plant that grows on rocks and trees.
  • Caved in: “Caved in” means collapsed inwards.
  • Scaffolding: Scaffolding is a temporary structure used to support workmen and materials during the construction, repair, or cleaning of a building.
  • Pending: “Pending” means “while waiting for”.
  • Alterations: Alterations are changes that are being made.
  • Suggestive: “Suggestive” means that something hints at something else.
  • Unapproachable: “Unapproachable” means impossible to reach.
  • Homely: “Homely” means simple and comfortable.
  • Gaping fireplace: A “gaping fireplace” is a large, open fireplace.
  • Chest of drawers: A chest of drawers is a piece of furniture with drawers for storing clothes or other items.
  • Counterpane: A counterpane is a bedspread.
  • Wickerwork chairs: Wickerwork is made from woven twigs or reeds.
  • Wilton carpet: Wilton carpet is a type of woven carpet.
  • Paneling: Panelling is decorative wooden boards covering a wall.
  • Worm-eaten oak: Worm-eaten means damaged by woodworm, the larvae of various beetles. Oak is a type of hardwood tree.
  • Bell rope: A bell rope is a rope that is pulled to ring a bell.
  • Tassel: A tassel is a bunch of threads or cords tied together at one end and hanging as an ornament.
  • Bell pull: A bell pull is another term for a bell rope.
  • Dummy: A dummy is a fake or imitation.
  • Ventilator: A ventilator is an opening that allows air to circulate.
  • Absurd: “Absurd” means ridiculous or illogical.
  • Communicated: “Communicated” in this sense means “connected”.
  • Inner apartment: “Inner apartment” means the next room.
  • Camp bed: A camp bed is a simple, folding bed.
  • Technical: “Technical” means relating to a particular subject or skill.
  • Iron safe: An iron safe is a strong metal box for storing valuables.
  • Saucer: A saucer is a small, shallow dish that is used for holding a cup.
  • Dog lash: A dog lash is a whip for a dog.
  • Whipcord: Whipcord is a strong, thin cord.
  • Amiable: “Amiable” means friendly.
  • Bulky: “Bulky” means large and heavy.
  • Poker: A poker is a metal rod used for stirring a fire.
  • Frock coat: A frock coat is a man’s long, double-breasted coat.
  • Gaiters: Gaiters are coverings for the lower leg, often made of leather or canvas.
  • Hunting crop: A hunting crop is a short whip used by horse riders.
  • Breadth: “Breadth” means width.
  • Seared: “Seared” means burned or scorched.
  • Bile shot eyes: Bile is a yellow-green fluid that is produced by the liver and stored in the gallbladder. Royet’s eyes are described as “bile shot,” suggesting they have a yellowish tinge.
  • Fleshless: “Fleshless” means very thin.
  • Bird of prey: A bird of prey is a bird that hunts and kills other animals for food.
  • Apparition: An apparition is a ghost or a ghostlike image of a person.
  • Scoundrel: A scoundrel is a dishonest or unprincipled person.
  • Meddler: A meddler is a person who interferes in other people’s affairs.
  • Busybody: A busybody is a person who is too interested in other people’s lives.
  • Scotland Yard Jack in office: A “Jack in office” is an official who is arrogant and self-important.
  • Chuckled heartily: “To chuckle” means to laugh quietly. “Heartily” means in a loud and enthusiastic way.
  • Draft: A draft is a current of cold air.
  • Feeble: “Feeble” means weak.
  • Avenue gate: An avenue is a wide road with trees on either side.
  • Dusk: Dusk is the time of day just before nightfall.
  • Looming: “Looming” means appearing large and threatening.
  • Lad: A lad is a boy or young man.
  • Roar: A roar is a loud, deep sound.
  • Fury: Fury is intense anger.
  • Clenched fists: Clenched fists means that the hands are closed tightly into fists.
  • Scruples: “Scruples” are feelings of doubt or hesitation about whether something is morally right.
  • Invaluable: “Invaluable” means extremely useful or important.
  • Somber errand: An errand is a short journey that is made to do something. “Somber” means serious or gloomy.
  • Breaches: Breaches are gaps or openings.
  • Laurel bushes: Laurel bushes are evergreen shrubs with dark green leaves.
  • Hideous: “Hideous” means very ugly or unpleasant to look at.
  • Distorted: “Distorted” means twisted or misshapen.
  • Writhing limbs: “Writhing limbs” means arms and legs twisting and turning.
  • Startled: “Startled” means surprised and frightened.
  • Vice: A vice is a tool with two jaws that can be tightened to hold an object firmly in place.
  • Agitation: Agitation means a state of anxiety or nervous excitement.
  • Murmured: “To murmur” means to speak quietly.
  • Affected: “Affected” in this context means “kept”.
  • Slipping off: “To slip off” means to remove something quickly and easily.
  • Noiselessly: “Noiselessly” means without making any sound.
  • Dreadful vigil: A vigil is a period of time spent keeping watch. “Dreadful” means causing fear or anxiety.
  • Drawing of a breath: “Drawing of a breath” means the sound of someone inhaling or exhaling.
  • Open eyed: “Open eyed” means not sleeping.
  • Nervous tension: “Nervous tension” means a state of anxiety or stress.
  • Nightbird: A nightbird is a bird that is active at night.
  • Catlike whine: A whine is a long, high-pitched sound made by an animal.
  • At liberty: “At liberty” means free.
  • Deep tones: “Deep tones” are low-pitched sounds.
  • Parish clock: A parish clock is a clock that is located in a church.
  • Boomed out: “Boomed out” means made a loud, resonant sound.
  • Befall: “To befall” means to happen to someone.
  • Gleam: A gleam is a faint or brief flash of light.
  • Vanished: “Vanished” means disappeared suddenly.
  • Succeeded: “Succeeded” in this context means “followed.”
  • Dark lantern: A dark lantern is a lantern with a sliding cover that can be used to conceal the light.
  • Soothing sound: A “soothing sound” is a sound that is calming or relaxing.
  • Jet of steam: A jet of steam is a stream of hot water vapour.
  • Kettle: A kettle is a metal container used for boiling water.
  • Lashed furiously: “To lash” means to hit something repeatedly. “Furiously” means with great anger or force.
  • Glare: A glare is a bright, dazzling light.
  • Weary: “Weary” means tired.
  • Savagely: “Savagely” means violently or cruelly.
  • Loathing: “Loathing” means intense dislike or disgust.
  • Ceased: “Ceased” means stopped.
  • Mingled: “Mingled” means mixed together.
  • Parsonage: A parsonage is the house provided for a parish priest.
  • Sleepers: “Sleepers” in this context are people who are sleeping.
  • Echoes: Echoes are repetitions of a sound.
  • Gasped: “To gasp” means to breathe in suddenly and sharply, especially because of surprise or pain.
  • Subtle: “Subtle” means not obvious or easy to detect.
  • Palmer and Pritchard: These were two infamous doctors in the 19th century who were convicted of murder.
  • Ruthless: “Ruthless” means showing no pity or compassion.
  • Rapidity: “Rapidity” means speed.
  • Venom: Venom is a poisonous substance secreted by animals such as snakes, spiders, and scorpions.
  • Lethal: “Lethal” means deadly.
  • Fangs: Fangs are long, sharp teeth that are used for injecting venom.
  • Summoned: “Summoned” means called.
  • Fall a victim: “To fall a victim” means to be killed or harmed by something.
  • Inspection: An inspection is a careful examination of something.
  • Dispel: “To dispel” means to eliminate or get rid of.
  • Occupant: An occupant is a person who lives in a particular place.
  • Metallic clang: A “clang” is a loud, ringing sound.
  • Hastely: “Hastely” means quickly and hurriedly.
  • Put the matter to the proof: “To put the matter to the proof” means to test a theory to see if it is true.
  • Hiss: To hiss is to make a sound like a long ‘s’.
  • Cane: A cane is a walking stick.
  • Routed its snakish temper: “To rouse” means to awaken or stir up.
  • Indirectly responsible: “Indirectly responsible” means that someone is not directly to blame for something, but their actions contributed to it happening.
  • Conscience: Someone’s conscience is their sense of right and wrong.
  • Chronological order: Chronological order is the arrangement of events in the order in which they happened.
  • Anglo-Saxon: Anglo-Saxons were a people who inhabited England from the 5th century AD.
  • Sole remaining heir: The only person who is entitled to inherit property or a title.
  • Penniless: Having no money.
  • Swamp adder: Luke explains there is no such snake in India and speculates that it may be a cobra.
  • Red Herring: A “red herring” is a clue or piece of information that is intended to be misleading or distracting.

Please note that the episode transcript does not explain all the potentially unfamiliar vocabulary in the story. Luke focuses on the words and phrases that are key to understanding the plot or the characters. He also provides explanations of some grammatical features, such as the use of the word “save” to mean “except.”

339. A Murder Mystery Detective Story (Part 2)

Here is the concluding part of this detective story, which is based on a text adventure by Peter Carlson on www.textadventures.co.uk. In the first part you heard me playing an adventure game in which I have to analyse clues and choose the right options to continue a story and solve a murder. Before listening to this episode you should listen to part 1 of the story. Click here here to listen to part 1: https://teacherluke.co.uk/2016/03/31/338-a-murder-mystery-detective-story/ In this episode (part 2) you’ll hear the rest of the story, and if you don’t understand what’s going on – don’t worry, I’ll explain it at the end and you can read a summary of the story below. Enjoy!

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Click here to play the text adventure, “Victorian Detective” by Peter Carlson on textadventures.co.uk 

The Story – Explained

“Wait, wait, wait! I still don’t completely understand what happened in the story!”

OK, me neither. Let’s clarify.

Story summary (Vocabulary check: Do you know all the underlined words? Check them in a dictionary if you like – perhaps the Cambridge Online Dictionary)

  • First we investigate the scene of a murder. A man has been shot dead but it’s not just a random mugging. It appears to be deeper than that.
  • We work out the victim’s identity by investigating a smoke shop where he bought some Vietnamese tobacco. The owner of the smoke shop tells us the victim’s name, Mr Gaubert Bouvier, and gives us his address.
  • We visit the address and discover that it has been trashed. All the objects in the house have been thrown around. Someone else has been here, searching for something. Who? It was 2 Russian brothers. Why were they searching the place? I’m not sure…
  • We discover a hidden science lab where Bouvier was making bombs. It turns out Bouvier was a chemist who specialised in bomb production.
  • There’s some action when we discover plans for another bomb attack in a theatre.
  • We go to the theatre and it’s the first time we spot the Russians, but we don’t follow them. Again, we’ll come back to that.
  • We manage to prevent the bomb from exploding and then discover that the target of the bomb was a scientist called Sir Joseph Swan. He was planning to patent and sell a new invention called the electric lightbulb. The victim of a previous explosion was also a scientist, working on the lightbulb invention. So, apparently the murderer(s) are targeting the makers of these lightbulbs.
  • We investigate the whaling ship which we work out is moored in the docks. It was sailing off the coast of Belgium, but it turns now it’s moored in London again.
  • Investigation of the ship tells us the navigator of the ship was sending instructions to Bouvier the victim to make bombs.
  • We manage to track down the captain of the ship, who runs away from us. There’s a chase through the streets near the docks. During the chase we glimpse a man with a scar on the left side of his face, but it’s not important. We’re chasing the captain.
  • We catch the captain. Why was he running? Well, it’s not because he knew about the bomb attacks. It’s for another reason – probably because the ship is involved in some other criminal activity, maybe pirating or perhaps smuggling.
  • Anyway, the captain tells us the name of the navigator: Yorick Rozencrantz.
    This is obviously a fake name because it’s taken from two characters in the Shakespeare play Hamlet.
  • We decide to investigate those two Russian brothers. We work out that they must be carpenters working on a construction site near the river, so we go to investigate them.
  • After a fight with the Russians we learn that they were employed by the navigator/Shakespeare/Yorick to plant the bomb at the theatre and to trash Bouvier’s house. (I still don’t know why they trashed Bouvier’s house)
  • After a bit more deductive reasoning, we later discover that the secretive navigator/Shakespeare/Yorick guy is a former French soldier who was posted in Vietnam, where France had a colony. In fact, in Vietnam he met Mr Bouvier, the victim of the murder.
  • So, Bouvier and Shakespeare knew each other in Vietnam, and as a soldier Bouvier was an expert in explosives.
  • With the help of a friend who is an expert on military history, you work out that the Shakespeare character is actually called Renard Voclain. We see a photo of him, and see that he has a scar below his left eye.
  • Using our amazing photographic memory, or eidetic memory, we manage to remember where we saw this guy before. It turns out he was there during the chase with the captain, hiding in the crowd of Londoners.
  • Our amazing memory recall and deductive reasoning tell us that he must be living near the docks, where he keeps cats. We know this because we remember seeing cat hairs on his trousers, and some other clues.
  • We head to the docks and the presence of some cats leads us to the right house.
  • There we discover Renard Voclain, the navigator/Shakespeare character and master criminal behind both the killing of Bouvier and the bomb attacks.
  • We learn that Voclain was also trying to develop electric lightbulbs and was killing off his competitors in order to have a monopoly on the industry – not a bad idea considering the massive profits that could be made, although we know that crime doesn’t pay.
  • After a quick gunfight we manage to catch Voclain, arrest him and send him to Scotland Yard where he’ll be charged and tried in front of a judge in the proper manner.

Results – Am I a Good Detective?

I got pretty average results from my detective work. (Listen to hear me read out my results)
Do you think you can do better? Try playing the game for yourself here.
If you enjoyed it, you can check out other Victorian Detective stories too (I think there are two other ones by the same author) at http://textadventures.co.uk

What do you think?

Why did the two Russian brothers trash Bouvier’s house?
Did I miss any elements of the story?
Have you played Victorian Detective yourself yet? Did you get a different narrative?

I can’t wait to read your comments. :)

169. A Cup of Tea with Daniel Burt (Part 1)

[1/2] Daniel Burt is a journalist, comedy writer and performer from Melbourne, Australia. He writes for two big newspapers in Australia, he worked as an intern at Late Night with David Letterman, he has his own page on Wikipedia and in his work he has interviewed Matt Smith, David Tennant, Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, which means he has met 2 Doctor Whos Sherlock Holmes, Dr Watson and The Hobbit! Wow.  In this episode you can listen to us talking about diverse topics such as Australia’s relationship to The Queen & The Commonwealth, his work as an entertainment journalist, his time living in New York, the David Letterman show, Will Smith, show business, and zombies…

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I’m very pleased to have Daniel on the podcast for a number of reasons:
a) He is a bright, witty guy with lots of things to say, and he can talk the hind legs off a donkey (not literally, that’s just an idiom which means he can talk and talk!)
b) He is from Australia, so you can listen to his genuine Aussie accent and hear some authentic Australian English.
c) He has met Sherlock Holmes, Bilbo Baggins, Doctor Who and others.

Daniel is noteworthy enough to have his own page on Wikipedia. Click here to read it.

Daniel is a writer so naturally uses a lot of colourful language, descriptive vocabulary and idiomatic expressions. He also speaks pretty quickly in an accent that you might not be familiar with so listen closely. A transcript should arrive before too long but if you have any questions about words or phrases from this episode, please leave them in the comments section, with a time-code. ;)

This is a two part podcast. In part 1, this one, Daniel and I talk about these things:
The Zombie Apocalype
– Is my apartment safe?
– Would Daniel survive a zombie attack? Is he too complacent?
– Are people who like zombies all loners?
– Is Luke a loner?

Daniel’s Coin-dropping Habits
– Why can’t Daniel hold onto coins when shop assistants give him change?
– Why does he always drop coins onto the floor?
– Is it because Australian notes are so shiny and slippery, that the coins just slide off?

– Or is it just because he is socially awkward or nervous for some reason?
The Queen on Australian money
– How does Daniel feel about it?
– What’s the role of The Queen in Australian life?
– Will Australia leave the commonwealth and become fully independent?
Daniel’s work as an entertainment journalist
– Does he really have a Wikipedia page about him?
– What was it like living in New York?
– What was it like working for David Letterman?

Seeing Will Smith in the audience at a Parisian cabaret show
– Did he enjoy the show?
– What was the audience’s reaction to seeing Will Smith in the crowd?
– Did it affect the performance?
– What are the secrets of show business?
-And what does “getting jiggy with it” actually mean?

I’ve divided this into two episodes. So, stay tuned for details about his meeting with Sherlock Holmes, The Hobbit and Doctor Who in part 2.

Our conversation begins pretty quickly after we’d already been talking for about half an hour before turning on the microphone. Let me give you some context so you can hit the ground running.

Before turning on the microphone, we were talking about some of our favourite TV shows. I mentioned that I watch The Walking Dead, which is a show about zombies. I like zombies and that kind of thing, I’m sick and twisted in that way. Daniel doesn’t watch the show, and he isn’t a big zombie fan. He said he thought you’d need to be a bit of an idiot to get bitten by a zombie, because they’re so slow. Surely you’d see the zombie coming, and you’d just get out of the way, quite casually. I disagreed, and explained that getting bitten by a walker is easier than you might expect. Zombies might seem slow, but if you get complacent – over confident and too relaxed, that’s when you might be caught by surprise. If a zombie is walking towards you, he’s pretty slow so you might think you’re safe, but they’re unpredictable. What might happen is that the zombie gets about 3 metres away, and gets excited because he can smell your brains, and he trips slightly and starts to fall forwards. This means that his falling increases his speed and the momentum carries him to you faster than you expected. The next thing you know, you’ve got a zombie on top of you, and while you’re trying to deal with him, another one might have arrived behind you quietly, without you realising, and then you’re bitten, double bitten by two members of the undead. Then, later on, you’re a zombie too. Uhhh brains! Daniel didn’t realise this could happen. I reassured him, by explaining that up in my flat we would be quite safe from zombies because I’m up on the 6th floor, and my door is very strong. But that you still shouldn’t get complacent, even then. You can never be too safe from zombies, because, well, anything can happen. For example, let’s say, on the other side of the city, some guys have managed to escape from a zombie infested building by flying off the roof in a helicopter. “Ooh, that was close – good thing we had this helicopter!” But one of the guys in the chopper has been bitten, and he didn’t tell the others! He was too ashamed, too embarrassed. He kept it secret. Big mistake! Within minutes, he’s turned into a zombie, and he starts attacking the pilot. Trying to eat his brains. Horrible! The pilot gets bitten and he turns into a zombie too. Now you’ve got a zombie flying a helicopter. In the confusion the helicopter crashes onto the roof of my building – the pilot and passengers are all zombies, and they crawl from the wreckage and climb through a hole in the wall, into my living room, and Daniel gets bitten. Not me of course, I’d be ready with a cricket bat or a hammer or something. Maybe a crossbow. It would be tough, but I’d deal with them. Daniel though – he’d be beyond dead at that point, the poor guy. And why? Because he got complacent. Or zombies could manage to get to the 6th floor in a lift, by accident. Or just thousands and thousands of zombies could surround my building, and eventually break in by smashing all the windows and doors. Don’t worry though, it’s very unlikely to happen… or is it?…
So, that’s some context to the conversation I was having with Daniel before starting the recording. Now you can enjoy some chat with my Aussie mate Daniel. Enjoy!

Daniel’s Video Showreel

In part 2:
Daniel’s move to London
Cliches about Australian people
Typical Australian English phrases
Australian pronunciation
The Australian character and national identity
Australian politicians
The future of Australia & Australia’s image of itself
Sport & competition
Interviewing Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock), Martin Freeman (The Hobbit), Matt Smith & David Tennant (Doctor Who)