Category Archives: Accents

134. The Story of Salvo

The story of a hardcore punk band from London, told by the band members themselves. A transcript for the introduction to this episode is available below.

Right-click here to download this episode.

This episode is all about the story of a hardcore punk rock band from London. Listen, and you’ll hear an interview with the band members as they talk about how the band started, their influences, and what caused the band to end.

The band is called Salvo. They started in London in 2002 and played gigs in London, Oxford and Manchester before breaking up 4 years later. This interview was done recently. For the first time in years, most of the members of the group were all in the same room at the same time, so I had to take the opportunity to interview them for Luke’s English Podcast.

The members of this band are all my friends. I know most of them from my days at Sixth Form College when I was a teenager. One of them is my brother James. I was also a member of the band for a year or two. The style of music is a little bit hard to categorise. It’s hard, fast guitar rock. It’s pretty hardcore, but quite catchy too. You can make up your own mind about the music as you’ll hear some of it during the interview. If you want to hear more of the music, you can check out the Soundcloud page for Salvo here. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO SONGS BY SALVO

This is an authentic recording. No-one is really grading their English. They’re speaking in the same way that they speak to their friends. The recording took place after a music session in a studio, and a short beer drinking session in the pub. What you’ll hear is natural British English as it really is spoken, in this case by a group of friends, who used to be in a band together, sharing some memories over a few beers.

Just before we start I’d like to just say a few things about learning English.

What’s the best way to learn English? Well, people always say that you learn most when you socialise with native speakers. It’s really hard to do it because you don’t understand everything and sometimes you get lost and feel confused and frustrated. But that confusing feeling is a normal part of the learning process. It means your brain is processing a lot of information. In this case, it’s struggling to deal with words, accents, phrases or pronunciation that you’re not familiar with. It’s a challenge to understand native speakers talking naturally in a social situation, especially if they are good friends who know each other well. But, challenges are an important part of learning English. What is challenging now becomes less challenging in time as you gradually learn more and work out what people are saying. Remember, it is in those challenging situations, like when you’re listening to native speakers, that you really learn the most. It feels difficult, but that is the feeling of your brain trying to work it out, and as a result, learning and improving. So, listen to native speakers talking naturally. It’s one of the best ways to improve.

You can do it with Luke’s English Podcast. I present things to you, like interviews or recordings because I personally believe in them, find them extraordinary or touching, and hope that you will too. Hopefully this personal connection makes the podcast more engaging and as a result, a more effective way to improve your English. Basically, I just want to keep you locked in to listening to natural English, even though it is difficult, because I know that ultimately, it’s beneficial for your English.

So what am I going to present to you this time? Well, how about the story of a real rock band from London? It’s also a genuine story of rock and roll and friendship, told by the people who actually experienced it. That’s what you can hear in this episode. The interview was recorded at a friend’s house on a Saturday evening in South London. Please be aware there are some rude swear words used, but that’s normal, after all, it is rock and roll isn’t it.

So just a few weeks ago when I realised that the members of Salvo were going to reunite in the studio for the first time in over 6 years well needless to say I jumped at the chance to record a podcast episode about it. In this documentary or, if you will, rockumentary that you’re about to hear, I wanted to capture the, the songs, the sounds, the smells, of a hard-working rock band sitting in a room together, talking crap. And I got that. But I got more, a lot more. But hey — enough of my yakkin’. Whaddaya say, let’s boogie!

I expect some of you won’t listen to all of it, but then again for some of you this is exactly what you want. Some of my listeners really like the opportunity to listen to real English like this. Maybe you’re one of those people. In fact recently I recently got an email from a listener called Rei Lung, saying how much he liked listening to recordings like this. This is what Rei said.

Hello Luke!I just wanted to thank you for all you’re doing. The podcast is absolutely brilliant. I particularly enjoy episodes in which you interview your friends or just people on the street (like in those videos on YouTube that you have) because I think that this is when you can hear ‘authentic’ English. Also, the noisier it is and the more people that take part in the discussion or whatever, the harder it is to understand and the more authentic the language used is. I’d love it if you could do more like these, perhaps in a pub or something where people don’t really bother speaking slowly and clearly. Also, I really enjoy it when you talk about British life and culture, very interesting and eye-opening so I’d like to see more of that as well.Cheers

Well Rei, that is exactly what you’re going to get in this episode.

Transcript – A transcript is open on the Transcripts Collaboration page, and I’m slowly checking and correcting it, before adding it to this webpage. Here are the first few minutes of the transcript, which I’ve checked. This script starts at about 4mins into the episode after my introduction.

Jim -You’re listening to Luke’s English podcast. Live on luke.podteacher.luke.podteacher.com
Chris – Have you got a jingle? If you haven’t you’ve got one now.
Matt – Just a way I walk. (?)
Luke – Okay. Sh! Sh!
Chris – Nice jingle.
Luke – That amazing piece of music which you’ve just heard was a demo of an incredible band called Salvo and I’m here with some of not all of the members but some of the principal members of that band. And I’m now going to interview them and find out the details and the history of this really earth shattering, epoch making moment in culture.
I’ve got the members of the band with me. I’m going basically to introduce you them at first.
We’re going to find out who they are. We’re going to find out about the history of this group and I’m sure you’re going to find it fascinating and rewarding to listen to.
So I’ve got four people in front of me. On my left I have Aaron. Then I’ve got…
Aaron – Hi.
Luke – Hello Aaron.
Aaron – Hi. Hello.
Luke – Chris.
Chris – Hi.
Luke – Matt.
Matt – Hello.
Luke – Jim.
Jim – Hello.
Luke – And me who you know already after…
Aaron – And who was also in the band.
Luke – I was in the band too, yeah. So, let’s start with Aaron on my left. Alright?
Aaron – Hello. Hi. My name is Aaron.
Luke – How are you?
Aaron – Very well, thank you. Doing very well.
Luke – Good.
Aaron – Good.
Luke – So … Let’s see. What did you do in the group?
Aaron – Uh… I played bass and sang, did vocals in the group.
Luke – Okay.
Aaron – Bass and sang.
Luke – Okay. And…
Aaron – I wouldn’t call it singing really. But, you know, the vocal bits, yeah.
Luke – Okay. Alright. So, were you one of the original members?
Aaron – Yes. Yeah. Back in, I believe, it was two thousand and…
Chris – Two.
Aaron – 2002… 2002 was when Salvo started, yeah.
Luke – Yeah. Okay. Right. So, you were the bass-player and one of the vocalists.
Aaron – That’s right, yeah.
Luke – That’s right, okay. So let’s… Shall we move on …
Aaron – You can call me a principal songwriter.
Luke – Yes.
Aaron – If you really want to go with a label.
Luke – How many songwriters were there in this band?
Aaron – There were two. There were two dedicated songwriters.
Luke – Okay. Uh… So, you were one of them?
Aaron – Yes. Yeah.
Luke – And who is the other one?
Aaron – Chris King, who is on my left.
Luke – Okay. So let’s … Shall we move over to Chris?
Aaron – Yeah!
Luke – Hi Chris.
Chris – Hi.
Luke – So Chris, what did you do in the group?
Chris – Uh… I … I … I um … I played guitar and I sang… And… uh…, as Aaron said, I wrote some of the songs as well, so.
Luke – Okay. Right.
Chris – Uh… I wasn’t there from the very beginning.
Luke – Really?
Chris – I was almost there from the beginning, very beginning.
Luke – When did you arrive?
Chris – Uh… About a month or so after the band began. Basically I started uh… working… I was working at the same place as Aaron. And uh… and he started… he started the band. And… uh… and after, I think, he had a couple of practices with an old friend of his Dave who was the drummer. And… uh… So… they had a couple of practices and then I came along to one and after that I was in the band. So… yeah…
Luke – How did you… How did you join? Because Aaron and Dave were already in this…
Chris – Yes, you know, you know, basically I think what happened is Aaron and… , Aaron… Actually we’d been talking about it for a while at work. Aaron had a practice with Dave and another guy who he what was…
Aaron – Well it was me, Dave and this guy called Olly who just getting back to that when Chris joined. Chris came down for a practice and Olly had been sort of, you know, taking his top off like when it’s still quite… not even like warm in the room, just taking his top off and playing with his top off. And he’s a little skinny tosser on his guitar. And we were playing really badly and then Chris came down and Olly actually uh… proposed himself, you know, he offered himself for to leave the band because once he heard, you know, Chris play and realised that it was a little bit act of his depth, and went off to read poetry in pubs and that’s where he ended it up.
Luke – So Olly decided… Wait a minute. Just going back to this fact you said that he used to play with no top on. So did you not like that? Did you … Didn’t you … You didn’t like the fact that he’d played without his top on.
Jim – Why such a homophobe Aaron?
Luke – I don’t. I’m just curious to find out about that.
Aaron – It wasn’t somewhat that, you know, playing with you taking top off…
Jim – Some mates are so…, isn’t it?
Aaron – …it’s not about it, it’s like if you just go into a practice room, and it’s not that hot. Why would be… Why would taking your T-shirt off be the first thing you do.
Luke – Chris?
Chris – I … I never … I have sort of never sold that but it doesn’t surprise me. But I’m …
Luke – Okay.
Chris – Yes. So then I came along and things, you know,
< ? > – It’s a recent thing.
Chris – …things went, you know,
James – …From bad to worse.
Chris – …no, no, not into, you know.
Matt – …From bad to punk.

130. A Cup of Tea with… Sebastian Marx

7 Replies

Conversation with a real American person from New York! Complete transcript available.

[Download]
This episode is now fully transcribed, and you can read that transcript below.

Sebastian Marx was born in New York and went to Boston University. He is a stand-up comedian in Paris and regularly performs in English and in French. You can visit his website here and find out about his comedy shows!

In this episode I invited Sebastian to my flat where we had some tea and some chocolate brownies. Listen to the episode as I ask questions which were suggested by listeners from the Luke’s English Podcast Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lukes-English-Podcast/227129545507

We talk about topics such as:
-Growing up 30 minutes away from Manhattan
-Going to university in Boston
-His experiences of leaving America and moving to France
-How he learned a second language (French)
-Some advice on how to learn a second language
-Differences between America and Europe
-Accents from USA
-Time travel
-Spirituality and the meaning of life!
-Gun control
-American junk food and obesity
-The Boston bombings from last Monday
-America’s foreign military campaigns
-The amazing sport of ‘disc golf’!
I also help Sebastian learn to speak with my British accent.

I hope you enjoy the podcast. It’s another long one, but as I’ve said before – you can listen to it in stages, and if you’re using iTunes or other podcast players, your audio player should remember your position if you stop listening, although I can’t imagine why you would want to do that ;)

Please leave comments below and tell me your thoughts.

Thank you if you are kind enough, or are able to leave a small donation by clicking the button in the top-right corner of this page.

Best regards,

Luke

HERE ARE THE QUESTIONS FROM FACEBOOK!

Luke’s English Podcast · 2,532 like this.
22 hours ago ·
Hello listeners! Tomorrow I am going to interview my American friend Sebastian. Do you have questions for him? I will ask him the questions on the podcast. Please write your questions here. Thank you!
1Like · · Share

o Jairo Trujillo García: If you had the chance to go back in time, for 24 hours, where and when would you go?

o Christopher Soto Antilem: What accent does he prefer? british, american or other country?

o Hiroshi Maruyama: How does he think about ban the gun movement in America? I cant believe they are allowed to keep the gun. I strongly against it. Why they don’t ban the gun with a strong the strong decision like the decision they begin war.

o Atsushi Yoshida: I want him to talk about American regional accents ;D

o Camila Andrade: Would you rather go back in time and meet your ancestors or go way into the future and meet your great grandchildren ?

o Wassim Benny: Ask him about his spiritual beliefs. Does he believe in life after death? and if not, what does he think would happen after death…

o Hải Tuấn: As a American, which accent do you think is the most easy to understand? British, Australian, South American or Asian English?

o Stefano Pierini Hi Luke. Ask him about the bomb blast of Monday’s marathon in Boston and the fear of terrorist attack.
Also you could talk about the poor education of Americans when it comes to diet and food.
Cheers :)

o Kohei Okutani: Hiya,Luke!!
I’d like to know how popular JPN MANGA is in USA! :) I’ve got some American or French friends who really love that but i heard that it’s not true, actually.
They say that’s for limited maneas｡｡｡ Please,ask him on the topic as far as he knows!!
HX!!

o Khazan Anna: First, i would like him to accept my deep condolence in connection with the terrorist action in Boston. Second, my question is: Has he ever been to Russia and what is his view of my country?

o Pedro Barreto Gamboa: Tell him that, here in Peru, we’re all sorry about the recent incident in Boston.
My questions would be:
How hard is it really to understand certain non-native accents? And what makes a foreign accent pleasant or unpleasant in his opinion?

o Cuneyt Tiryaki: Please let him tell us the differences between Europe & THE US. His first time experiences and odd feelings as an American in Europe.

o Luke’s English Podcast: Wow, lots of questions! Thanks a lot. The interview is in 6 hours so there is still more time if you have other questions. :D

o Cristina Ricciardo: Hello Luke, and thanks for giving this opportunity! I’d like to know something about American junk food and obesity problems.

o Hanaé Georgette Berton: Once again, « Are you sure you’re the man on the flyer ?».See Translation

o Jarek Jarsson: Luke ask him if he knows any foreign languages :) And one more question – what he thinks about USA military mission in Iraq and Afghanistan :) Thanks a lot !

o Hiroshi Maruyama: Ask him his favorite sport. I like disc golf, rollerbladingand salsa dancing. Doesn’t he do any of them? Is discgolf popular among us people? I think it’s a excellent sport.

o Flavio Gasperini: I would like to hear him try to pronounce a few words in British English…like “water”, “territory”, “thought”, “advertisement”, “I can’t eat eggs”. That would be quite funny, :S.

o Vanessa von Aspern: What are the most stupid clichés about america?

o Luke’s English Podcast: Hi, the interview is finished and we answered your questions, but Vanessa you were a bit too late I’m afraid. We do talk a bit about America, but not all the stupid cliches. Next time!

o Vanessa von Aspern: Well, thats all right! :)

o Luke’s English Podcast: Podcast is now uploading and should be available online soon. Kohei Okutani, I just realised that we didn’t answer your question about Japanese manga, but I can tell you that I am a big fan of Dr Slump and Doraemon, as well as others ;)

TRANSCRIPT FOR EPISODE 130. A CUP OF TEA WITH SEBASTIAN MARX

[BEGINS FROM 00:00:00]
Welcome good people of the world to episode 130 of Luke’s English Podcast. This one is called “A Cup of Tea With Sebastian Marx” and in this one I invited my American friend Sebastian into the apartment to share a cup of tea and some lovely chocolate brownies while we discuss various things.
Sebastian was born in New York and he went to Boston University. He’s a stand-up comedian in Paris and he regularly performs both in English and in French. You can visit his website by going to my website or just directly to his website which is www.sebmarx.com. You can visit my website in order to find that website. It’s just too confusing. It’s like “Inception” for websites. I don’t know.
In this episode as I said I invited Sebastian. We talk about lots of things and we answer various questions which were suggested by listeners to this podcast on the Facebook page.
We talk about, em, diverse things such as:
– His experiences of growing up in New York
– Going to university in Boston
– Leaving America
– How he learned a second language to a very high level, French in this case
– His answers to questions about accents from the USA
– The differences between America and Europe
– And also, more serious things like gun control, American military policy, and the amazing sport of disc golf which is something I’d never heard of before.
All of it is contained in this rather long episode of Luke’s English Podcast. So, I hope you enjoy listening to it and it’s about to start now now now.
Luke – So hello ladies and gentlemen. I’m very pleased to announce that for the first time on Luke’s English Podcast, I have an actual American man, an American person in front of me. I kidnapped him. I didn’t really, but I kidnapped him and I’ve held him hostage and I’m giving him cakes and tea. The cakes probably are okay, but is tea normal for you Sebastian?
Sebastian – Yes, yes, we are aware of that. We like drinking tea in the States.
Luke – You do, because, I mean, people say that tea is very, you know, very English thing, don’t they? But… and coffee is like associated with America. But…
Sebastian – Is it really?
Luke – Well, yeah!
Sebastian – I thought, coffee was associated with Italy and France and…
Luke – Oh, yeah? It is too. …you know, definitely, but certainly…
Sebastian – StarBucks I guess gives that reputation all over the world that Americans drink watered-down coffee.
Luke – Yeah, Americano…
Sebastian – Yeah. Exactly.
Luke – …is what they call it. Do you call it Americano? You don’t call it…
Sebastian – No, we call it Coffee.
Luke – Okay.
Sebastian – If you order a coffee in the States, you get a big mug of coffee.
Luke – Okay.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Is that maybe in a diner?
Sebastian – Yeah. it could be in a diner.
Luke – Served by a sort of… a slightly bored, overworked middle-aged waitress?
Sebastian – Yes, can be either jewish or Greek often,
Luke – Yeah?
Sebastian – Often. Yeah.
Luke – And you have to tip, don’t you?
Sebastian – You have to tip a lot.
Luke – Do you tip?
Sebastian – Tip? Do I tip when I’m in the States? I have to!
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Because, if you don’t tip the manager comes running at you.
Luke – Really?
Sebastian – Well, if you don’t tip at all, the manager can come out and ask you – “Well, was there a problem with the service?” and you have to justify why you didn’t give any tip, because the waiters or waitresses over there, they uh… make their living off of tips.
Luke – Alright, okay. So, it’s essential.
Sebastian – It’s essential.
Luke – Okay.
Sebastian – Which, at the end of the day really helps the managers, because they just get away with not having to pay or pay very little their wait staff and so… the salary of the wait staff falls on the customer.
Luke – Right, so if there are any listeners out there who are going to America or maybe living in America right now… and if you don’t tip, you should be ashamed of yourself, because these waitresses and waiters,
Sebastian – Waiters, there are waiters as well in the United States
Luke – They… they need your tips. So, just remember that! Is that rule number one if you go to America?
Sebastian – Yes, rule… I think, yeah – rule number one, yeah!
Luke – Obviously it’s rule… maybe “rule number one” is like, you know, like get your passport
Sebastian – Yeah. Well, get your passport. You get a visa! I think that the United States requires visas for pretty much every country.
Luke – it’s difficult to get in.
Sebastian – They’re a pain in the butt. They are real, uh… when it comes to entering into that country, I don’t know.
Luke – Okay.
Sebastian – It’s not easy.
Luke – Alright. But you actually managed… How are they about leaving the country because when it gets…
Sebastian – Oh, they love when people leave the country.
Luke – Really?
Sebastian – They’re thrilled about that so uh…. It’s only about getting in.
Luke – Okay. So, ladies and gentlemen. Here I am with Sebastian Marx who is, as I’ve… as you’ve obviously already worked out, is American.
Sebastian – Yes, I am.
Luke – So it’s, you know… it’s great because you’re the first American person I’ve had on the podcast.
Sebastian – I feel honoured.
Luke – You are, you should be honoured. I think I might give you some sort of award for this.
Sebastian – Well, I’m already, I think brownies is a very good reward already… and tea.
Luke – Tea and…
Sebastian – I’m more of a tea person by the way. I’m more of a tea person.
Luke – Okay, so, you know, if there’s a cliche about Americans
drinking coffee all the time, it’s not necessarily true
Sebastian – No, they do in detective movies.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – It’s obligatory.
Luke – If you’re a cop or a cop (American pronunciation)
Sebastian – Yeah, a cop (American pronunciation)
Luke – Then, then you have to drink some.
Sebastian – donuts and coffee
Luke – donuts and coffee.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Does that help, do you think, does that help detectives to solve crimes?
Sebastian – to solve crimes? Yeah. It helps them to solve crimes and not to be able to run after the victim as he’s running away or the suspect.
Luke – That’s why they have guns though.
Sebastian – Yeah. that’s why, that’s exactly why they have guns.
Luke – They don’t need to run.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – They can just shoot.
Sebastian – Yeah, they can just shoot.
Luke – They can eat as many doughnuts as they like.
Sebastian – Exactly.
Luke – Okay.
Sebastian – It’s a free country.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – It’s to defend the freedom to eat donuts.
Luke – Okay, this is the beauty of… Well, we’ll come back to the gun question later on, I think, Sebastian.
So, as I have, I expect, already said in the introduction, what we’re gonna do is just to find out some stuff from Sebastian about America and differences between America and Europe and Britain, some things about accents as well, other questions which I have received via Facebook. So some of you, listening to this, you sent your questions to me on Facebook today. So, I’m gonna be asking Sebastian some of those questions later on, but first of all, let’s just get to know you a little bit then, Sebastian.
Luke – So, you’re American, we’ve established that.
Sebastian – Yes.
Luke – You’re definitely American
Sebastian – Definitely.
Luke – Where exactly in the United States do you come from?
Sebastian – I grew up in the suburbs of New York City, about half an hour North of Manhattan.
Luke – Half an hour North of Manhattan?
Sebastian – Yes, in a place, in the county, called Westchester.
Luke – Westchester?
Sebastian – Yes.
Luke – Okay. I’ve heard about Westchester.
Sebastian – Yeah. What did you hear about it?
Luke – Well, what I’ve heard about, all I know about it is that there’s a song called “Westchester Lady”, which you probably don’t know.
Sebastian – No.
Luke – and it’s by a Jazz pianist called Bob James.
Sebastian – I don’t know either.
Luke – Bob James did the music to the TV show “Taxi”
Sebastian – I know “Taxi”!
Luke – Yeah, and “Westchester Lady” is a sort of a piece of jazz-funk music.
Sebastian – It’s weird that I don’t know him, because I do listen to jazz and I do listen to jazz funk, but I don’t know uh… Bob James, you said?
Luke – Bob James.
Sebastian – I don’t know Bob James.
Luke – You gotta check him out. It’s quite, it’s a little bit cheesy, but it’s good, because especially the rhythm section…
Sebastian – made in the 70s?
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – It’s all proper New York, I guess, New York early 1970s all mid-1970s, genuine article jazz-funk. It’s classic.
Sebastian – kind of fusion.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – I love that stuff.
Sebastian – Yeah. Me too. Unfortunately, my girlfriend doesn’t like it at all. So, there’s only, I’ve been very limited on how long, you know, like there are certain hours of the day when I’m allowed to play that music.
Luke – Headphones?
Sebastian – Headphones is the way to go.
Luke – Yeah. Me too. I’m was always rocking the headphones.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Okay. So, you’re from Westchester.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – What is… that’s very close to Manhattan, half an hour away.
Sebastian – Yeah. Well, it’s uh… North of Manhattan you have the
Bronx
Luke – Mmm-hmm
Sebastian – Which is part of New York City, and then, you have Westchester, which is the suburbs. So, it’s, you know, it’s a pretty cliche American suburb with lots of nice houses and a garden and…
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Cliche, white picket fence and stuff like that. So, it is pretty close to that cliche. So, it’s great uh… a place to grow up if you’re kid. When you become a teenager you wanna kill yourself.
Luke – Really?
Sebastian – Yeah! Oh, it’s boring, it’s very boring.
Luke – Yeah, but you’re so close to New York.
Sebastian – that’s the thing, yeah. I mean everything… why it’s borings is because everything is centered in New York.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – You know, so… you kind of have to go into the city for most, well no! Not movies of course. Movies you’ve got everywhere, but… yeah I mean most cultural things… so, I mean, I’m not gonna complain. It was great. Yeah. because I would, you know, every weekend with my parents growing up we would go to wonderful museums in New York and so I feel very lucky.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Besides, wanting to kill myself for five year period. No, no, no, It was a very… I feel very lucky to have grown up in the
greater New York area.
Luke – Yeah. It would be amazing. I think, probably as you said “wanting to kill yourself” is a kind of a teenage thing perhaps.
Sebastian – I think anywhere, I think it’s a universal teenage thing even if you live in the heart of New York or the heart of many places.
[ENDS AT 00:10:00]
[BEGINS FROM 00:10:00]
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – or the head of many… the left foot of many places.
Luke – because, New York is not the capital, as you say it’s like the left foot, so Washington is the right foot?
Sebastian – No, no, no. New York is definitely the heart. New York is …no what I was saying was like… like someone who might wanna kill themselves if they were in Nebraska which would be the equivalent to the left foot.
Luke – Okay.
Sebastian – But, no. New York is not the capital Of the United States, Washington DC is the capital of the United States but New York feels like the capital of something. I don’t know what, but
Luke – It maybe the one of the cultural capitals perhaps.
Sebastian – Yeah. Well. It’s definitely the cultural and economic capital.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – …of the States.
Luke – …with Wall Street and so on
Sebastian – Exactly.
Luke – Yeah. Okay. So you grew up in… in New York, but I understand that you have lived in Boston.
Sebastian – Yes, I went to school in Boston. I went to college, what they college in the States, which is university.
Luke – You went to Harvard?
Sebastian – Oh ,no. Unfortunately, not. Unfortunately, not. I went to Boston University which is actually right across the river, of the Charles River.
Luke- Yeah.
Sebastian – from MIT and Harvard, which is actually Harvard and MIT are technically in the city of Cambridge,
Luke – Yeah?
Sebastian – …which is, there’s a Cambridge in Massachusetts as well.
Luke – That’s confusing…
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – because, okay. Because Cambridge – obviously, Cambridge in England isa very famous place for its University there
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – but there’s also another Cambridge in America…
Sebastian – which is famous for its universities
Luke – Okay.
Sebastian – But, there isn’t… there isn’t a university called Cambridge University in the United States
Luke – Thank goodness for that. That’d be really confusing.
Sebastian – really confusing.
Luke – Alright.
Sebastian – So the city of Boston has pretty much, I mean, there are two kind of halves. One is Boston proper, the other is Cambridge which is right across the river, which is pretty much the same city. Technically it’s another city, but in Cambridge it’s a little bit more residential than Boston is. There is Harvard and there is MIT, is over there as well.
Luke – Okay. Sorry. I’m just eating a strawberry. Again, my girlfriend, because she’s really nice and lovely, she provided us with not only home-made
Sebastian – Home-made ?
Luke – …kinda brownies – brownie cakes
Sebastian – Delicious. What nut is in this?
Luke – There’s almonds.
Sebastian – Mmmmmmmm
Luke – So, these brownie cakes are obviously just like brownies but with almonds inside them. And also we have a plate of strawberries because it’s a nice warm day here. So, strawberries can be the perfect snack.
Sebastian – Wonderful snack.
Luke – nice fresh strawberries.
Sebastian – To counterbalance this brownie.
Luke – Yeah. The unhealthiness of a brownie is balanced by the healthiness and sweetness and lightness of a strawberry, and we also of course, have cups of tea.
Sebastian – Green tea!
Luke – Yeah and as I’ve said before on the podcast, it’s obviously very rude to speak with your mouth full, but we like to break the rules here at Luke’s English Podcast.
Sebastian – Thankfully!
Luke – Thankfully! Yeah. So, that includes speaking with your
mouth full and it also includes slurping your tea. Do you slurp your tea?
Sebastian – I do, I do.
Luke – Okay.
Sebastian – I’m a fan of slurping, can I slurp?
Luke – yeah, go ahead.
Sebastian – Should we…?
Luke – Yeah, cheers
Sebastian – Cheers.
Luke – Mmmmmmm.
Sebastian – Mmmmmmm.
Luke – Obviously, it’s very rude to slurp your tea and we’re only doing it…
Sebastian – …even in the United States!
Luke – Yeah?
Sebastian – Hahahaha.
Luke -Pierre yest(erday)… last time we started talking about slurping tea and he mentioned Iran for some reason. I don’t know why. He seemed to think that in Iran people didn’t…people did slurp their tea and it was polite.
Sebastian – It was polite, okay.
Luke – He’s wrong. I got an email. So, no. In Iran it’s very rude if you slurp your tea so… there we go. Anyway, we talked enough about slurping tea. So, grow up in New York. University in Boston, but not Harvard.
Sebastian – not Harvard. It’s a university called Boston University,
Luke – Okay.
Sebastian – which is actually very big. It’s a very big University.
Luke – what did you study?
Sebastian – I studied Film.
Luke – Oh, really?
Sebastian – Well, I went to the college of communications then I majored in film and then minored in history.
Luke – Film and a bit of history as well?
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Okay. So did you do like a dissertation or…
Sebastian – I did a final film. Yeah.
Luke – Oh I’m sorry, you majored in making films or studying films?
Sebastian – Both,
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – …but making films as well and now my final dissertation, well project, let’s say, was a final film and so right after I left university I had lots of knowledge of how to be a waiter. It was…it helped a lot.
Luke – Because it doesn’t necessarily prepare you for…
Sebastian – …for much else, and even, even the world of film-making it’s… Well, because it’s a creative, it’s an artistic field so…there’s only so much you can learn.
Luke – Yeah. It sounds a lot like my degree,
Sebastian – which is?
Luke – …except, that I didn’t learn actually how to do anything. I just learned how to read about things and crit…, you know, I did a critical-theoretical, cultural-theoretical degree. It sounds much more complicated than it actually is.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – I did Media and Cultural studies
Sebastian – Aha.
Luke – in Liverpool
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – in the the north of England, famous of course for the Beatles and football and that’s it.
Sebastian – that’s it.
Luke – No, it’s a fantastic place, of course. But yeah, I did Media and Cultural studies. We studied lots of movies. I wrote long essays about Clint Eastwood.
Sebastian – Aha.
Luke – and Batman
Sebastian – Yeah
Luke – and…
Sebastian – The modern hero or what?
Luke – Yeah. The sort of postmodern detective
Sebastian – Ah… kinda Dirty Harry?
Luke – Dirty Harry. I’m a big fan of Clint Eastwood films
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Anyway, anyway. So, you studied film. I see. So, are you a film-maker now?
Sebastian – I am working on a web series right now, but I don’t consider myself so much a filmmaker, because I’m not really doing that right now I’m focusing much more on stage stuff, performances and stuff like that.
Luke – Okay. In fact that brings us quite neatly to the fact that’s, well.. now, here in France, in Paris, Sebastian is a stand-up comedy performer and you in fact, you’re kind of one of the main comedy performers in English, here in Paris.
Sebastian – Yeah. I started a night, a night of English stand-up comedy. When there wasn’t anything, pretty much, going on in English stand-up comedy in France.
Luke – Was it difficult?
Sebastian – It was very difficult. For uh… both sides of the stage, if I can say… meaning – finding the audience and finding the comics.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – So, the first couple of times when I did the show which was… the idea was to have what they call a “Showcase”, meaning – several different comedians, because I didn’t have anybody that I knew who was able to be funny in English. I was pretty much doing my one-man show. I mean, that’s pretty much what happened.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – …and then slowly, started to have… I started with the French comics who were interested in performing in English.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – and then, slowly, but surely, I got some English, native english-speaking comics like you.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – …performing more and more. So, it took a while because yeah, as I said it’s been oh almost three years now.
Luke – The scene is developing?
Sebastian – It’s developing and it’s been developing mostly within the last year.
Luke – Okay. It’s good. It’s very promising. So, briefly let’s just talk about the shows that you do.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Sebastian is responsible for three shows here, in Paris
Sebastian – mhm.
Luke – I think, you have your one-man show.
Sebastian – Yeah, called “A New Yorker in Paris”.
Luke – “A New Yorker in Paris” – it’s very funny and it’s full of interesting cultural points and… it’s fantastic. Also, you do that show in French.
Sebastian – Yeah. I actually did it up until last Tuesday. I decided to take a little break on my French show and to put it aside, to kind of… because I’ve had many projects, so I kind of said – “Okay, I need to take a break on some things to focus more creatively on other ones”.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – But, yeah. I was performing in French my full one-man show as well.
Luke – Wow! You must speak very good French?
Sebastian – Decent enough. I speak French well enough to be funny… in it.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – But I’m not sure if it’s… they’re laughing where they’re
supposed to laugh or where the joke is or they’re laughing at my accent.
Luke – You’re not sure if they’re laughing with you or if they’re laughing at you.
Sebastian – At me, exactly. Well, most of time they’re laughing with me.
Luke- Yeah.
Sebastian – But it’s true that being funny in a foreign language is hard. It’s very hard.
Luke – Yeah, because I imagine that being funny is like… what you achieve at the very end.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – like it’s the last thing you’re able to do.
Sebastian – Exactly.
Luke – First of all, you’re just able to, like, order a coffee and then it gets a bit more complicated you can do a presentation or get involved in a meeting and then, at the absolute peak, you are able to do a one-man show for an hour in front of an audience of French people in French.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – In this case it’s French but it could equally be in English, if English is not your first language.
Sebastian – Yeah, but it’s the… one of last things because not only you need to speak the language very well and you need to be comfortable in the language that you can kinda improvise a little bit, also you need to have the cultural references – the slang words. You know, there’s a lot in humor.
Luke – Yeah
Sebastian – So if you don’t have all that it’s hard and so… it’s still hard, you know, even though I’ve had some success with it and, you know I’ve done my French bits on French television.
Luke – Yeah.
[00:20:00]
Sebastian – it’s still… I definitely feel, I’m not where I would like to be, because of the language barrier.
Luke – I think it’s very difficult to get to the sort of bilingual stage if you didn’t start when you were a kid.
Sebastian – Yeah. if you didn’t grow up with it, I think it’s very difficult.
Luke – but do you have any tips for learning a second language?
Sebastian – I think, immersing yourself,
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – …kind of in the language. I mean, of course, if you can live in the country where they speak the language, of course, that’s ideal!
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – That’s really, that’s the best way, because more or less unless you’re, kind of, in a relationship with someone who speaks your native tongue, you’re forced to speak the language.
Luke – That’s interesting.
Sebastian – If you’re working, if you’re working, for example, you know, you have to understand what the person is saying, you have to respond. So, immersing yourself is the best way.
Luke – Essentially, I think what this means is that we have to push ourselves, we have to throw ourselves into situations where we will struggle to survive, as it were, and then in that struggling that’s where the learning takes place. So, we need to be challenged, don’t we?
Sebastian – Forced almost, I mean, I don’t know if this is a personal thing because I know that like if I have the escape route where I know that the person speaks English and I’m frustrated, I’m gonna go back to speaking English, but if I know that the person in front of me doesn’t understand English which was the case, I was forced to express myself in French whether it’d be… even if it was awkward,
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – …but after a while, by the end of the day there was eight hours of the day where I was only communicating in this other language, so unfortunately, I had to force myself and, you know, kinda put myself in a corner where I could only survive by speaking that language
Luke – I think it’s… a lot of it is about comfort zone.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – So, if you’re in your comfort zone, if you’re comfortable, you know… the learning isn’t really going to happen. You’ll be comfortable, it’ll be very nice but you’re not necessarily going to really learn. So, we need to try and push ourselves out of our comfort zones in order to give ourselves a chance to really let learning happen. So, when it comes to like… learning English people listening to this – just keep that in mind I suppose, like when you’re watching a DVD in English, comfort zone, have you got your subtitles on? Maybe turn them off!
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Because…
Sebastian – …or watch with Amer… uh…English subtitles.
Luke – Yeah. Well, people say that. Yeah, I think that’s definitely a good idea – watching english-language film with English language subtitles, but then when you get so used to that, the next step is switch off the subtitles.
Sebastian – Yeah, and see how much…, but it’s amazing how much more your ears start to open once you don’t have that crutch…
Luke – Yeah, yeah.
Sebastian – …of the subtitles.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – and I realized that in French when uh…when you put yourself in a situation whether it be, yeah, It could be a passive situation when you’re watching a film but you’re forced to follow the story. It’s amazing how much you’ll be surprised that you cou…you understand.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – You’ll surprise yourself, I think.
Luke – Yeah. Okay.
Sebastian – …once your ears adapt.
Luke – Yeah. Well, I have to take on that advice as well, because now I’m learning a second language, you know, it’s difficult… early days.
Sebastian – but it’s a very difficult language.
Luke – French?
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Yeah. Tell me about.
Sebastian – I mean, you know, it’s been nine years now that I’m here and…
Luke – nine years now?
Sebastian – Nine years and I still make mistakes all the time.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – I still have a very strong… and it’s very frustrating because I can say two words and a French person knows already that I’m not French. “Bonjour!” and they’re like “Ah, hi!”, you know.
Luke – Yeah. I find that when I start speaking French to people they just start speaking English to me because they’re like – “clearly, he doesn’t speak our language! I’ll speak English to you.”, and maybe they want to practise their English with me. They’re like – “Ah, an English person? Let me speak English to him!”
Sebastian – but I can’t help but sometimes get offended. Well I didn’t at first, but now after nine years Im (like) “uh, you know, I do speak French.”
Luke – Yeah. So you’re like – “Just, speak French to me, for god’s sake”
Sebastian – Especially, also because their English is not necessarily spectacular either you know but they want to speak English so…
Luke – Yeah, yeah. Maybe they would like a little mini English lesson. Okay, so… you’ve been living in Paris for nine years. So, you’re an American, you’re a New Yorker in Paris and that’s the name of your show.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – So, what brought you here to Paris then? What brought you here?
Sebastian – Well, actually, I wasn’t in Paris, I didn’t live in Paris at first. I was in the south of France for a while.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – And uh…now, it’s been four years that I’ve been to Paris and so when I came up to Paris I was in Toulouse for a while
Luke – It’s down south
Sebastian – Yeah, down south-west. The south-west of France. I came up to Paris to, kind of… Well, France is very centered in Paris.
Luke – Everything is based in…Paris
Sebastian – Yeah, lots of the jobs are here, lots of, kind of the entertainment industry is here. It’s very centered. So, being someone who majored in film, and all that stuff, I realised that Paris is kind of the future and I wanted to start performing again because I did perform uh comedy when I was in New York and Boston and I kind of missed the stage.
Luke – Yeah. So…but uh.. Why did you leave America? Why did you leave your home country?
Sebastian – My home country? Well, because I was with a French girl.
Luke – Ah, well, love
Sebastian – Well love, there you go. And so uh.. but you know, that was a part of it, but I also, you know, I had recently graduated from college and I wanted to see, I wanted to travel as well, so there were different reasons… love being one of them, also adventure, wanting to… you know. I had no idea how long I would stay, you know, I didn’t know. And so… you know, here I am, nine years later, went by pretty quickly.
Luke – Yeah. Time flies when you’re having fun.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Okay, so… so what’s it like being an American in France? How is it being an American in France, generally?
Sebastian – Generally, it’s fine. I mean, the French and Americans have a love-hate relationship.
Luke – What’s a… you love them and they hate you?
Sebastian – Both, mutually, we both love and hate.
Luke – Yes.
Sebastian – …both, each other, for different reasons. We get very pissed off about each other you know, and get annoyed by each other.
Luke – Yeah? Can you tell us some of those things, like what do the Americans get annoyed with the French about?
Sebastian – The fact, that they are… well it’s funny because both have the impression that the other is arrogant.
Luke – Right.
Sebastian – So, the Americans have the impression that the French are arrogant…. that the French are pretentious and rude. So, these are the big cliches. And that’s uh…that the French kind of try to counteract the Americans often, to criticise.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – And uh…Which on the other hand, lots of Americans are here because of that, because also lots of American citizens are very critical of the American government as well. And so coming to France there’s this kind of haven of people who are not necessarily gung-ho for everything that America stands for and can put the American way of life and the government into question. You know, not necessarily being against but just, asking more questions.
Luke – So, I tend to find that Americans who have come here to France to live tend to be more open-minded perhaps or they have more perspective on America than…
Sebastian – Well, I think, I don’t know if it’s specifically to France. I think just leaving the United States automatically gives you more perspective, you know. It’s very easy, living in the United States, to feel that the United States is the world.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Because, it is a microcosm of the world. There are people from all over the world in the United States more than in any other country in the world. And it’s a very big country and you kind of have everything represented there.
Luke – You’ve got like two sides.
Sebastian – You’ve got two sides,
Luke – There’s ocean on both sides.
Sebastian – Yeah. And… and you’ve got all different landscapes and as I said, all different countries are represented there, and so… you know… And there’s the television that’s very, you know uh… American television is very identifiable and so it’s very easy to forget that there’s a world outside.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – And so, you know, whether you come to France or any other country, I think right away you get another perspective and it helps you give a perspective on the United States. So I think naturally, someone who lives abroad has that perspective that someone living in the United States who never traveled will probably not have.
Luke – That’s one of the big criticisms that people have of America is that they don’t know anything about the rest the world.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – but I guess when you leave, you know, you get a lot more perspective on things.
Sebastian – The thing about the States is – it’s everything! It’s a country of extremes. You have the most ignorant people as you can have the most culturdl people, you know, and New York is totally different from Kansas, you know it’s…it’s… you’ve got everything.
Luke – Yeah. Before you came to Europe what did you expect Europe as a whole to be like? Sorry, have you visited many other countries in Europe?
[00:30:00]
S: I had been, before coming to France, I’d been to Spain, England and Portugal
L: Ok and since, have you travelled around?
S: Yeah, since now I’ve been nine years I’ve been in France, now I’ve been to Italy, Germany, aahh, papapa well, Belgium, The Netherlands, still mostly western Europe
L: Been to the UK?
S: Not since I’ve been to France
L: You haven’t been to the UK?!
S: Not since I, I went to London, oh, no, no, so that’s not true, I have been to the UK, I went actually two summers ago, we actually drove across the UK to go to Ireland
L: Oh right, so you were just passing through
S: Just passing through, I saw Stonehenge, for ten minutes
L: It’s not very…
S: Disapointed
L: You mean you stopped and you looked at it …
S: I looked at it
L: … on foot
S: Yeah, there is a gate, there’s like kinda fence around, so I didn’t go cause I think I had to pay
L: Yeah, yeah, you have to pay to get in
S: I didn’t pay I saw it from the outside and that was fine
L: To be honest, Stonehenge is, is a bit disappointing but it’s not because of the, the, the site, it’s not because of the monument itself, it’s not a monument, it’s not because of the …
S: the structure?
L: the thing itself, I mean we don’t really know what it is, in fact. It’s not the stones that are disappointing, it’s just the way that the location is presented, in fact, because it’s a deeply significant sight in terms of ancient history of the area and what you have now is a motorway
S: the road, the road
L: it runs right past it, so that doesn’t help. Back in the …
S: I didn’t expect it there, just been to a gas station but no, it was Stonehenge
L: yeah, yeah. It should … I think originally Stonehenge was at the end of a long path and it was kind of at the top of a small hill and so to get to Stonehenge would you have to walk quite a long way across a lot of open land with the rising kind of gradient so you would be walking uphill and you would see Stonehenge in the distance and then when you get to Stonehenge, this is five thousands years ago, when you got to Stonehenge it was much much more impressive because of the surrounding area and the context. Now it is not the same because there’s this big motorway that goes right past it, so unfortunately it spoils
S: It’s true that if I had to get to Stonehenge by walking a little bit it would definitely would have had a different effect
L: I don’t know that’s because you would be relieved
S: You finally got there
L: Oh god, I’m finally here, not that it’s that impressive but because you don’t have to walk anymore
S: walk anymore, yeah
L: Ok, I would love to hear what you think about other countries, I mean, cause we can’t just talk about France, I have listeners from all over the world and, in fact, on Facebook, some of them have sent me questions. So the first question I have it’s from Jairo, I’m not sure where Jairo is from actually, but what he said is: “If you have the chance to go back in time for twenty four hours, so just for one day, where and when would you go?” So you’ve got a time machine, you can use it for twenty four hours, where’re you going to go, when are you going to go to?
S: I think I … ancient Grece
L: Yes?
S: Yeah
L: Why is that?
S: Because I think they really had another way of thinking, I think it would be really interested to know what humans were like before the dawn of our modern religions I think that would be … they must have thought very differently and I think it would be very interesting to spend twenty four hours, and would I think really open up my mind to see how humans were, because I think we chose a different path instead and I think it would be interesting to see really how they thought and ..
L: Yeah, when I imagine ancient Greece I imagine sort of guys sort of lounging around with tablets
S: Yes
L: But it’s not like tablet computers like we have now
S: No
L: They had the original tablets
S: The original, yeah
L: The stone tablets. Can you imagine that any time you wanted to write something down you had to engrave it
S: Chisel, yeah and especially later with the numbers, well, yeah ancient Greece or ancient Rome, but yeah what the numbers, the roman numerals, if you wanted to represent 1943 you had to have, like, many characters
L: Ok, you have to learn a new alphabet
S: Yeah, pretty much a new alphabet, yeah
L: Ok, ancient Greece, awesome, brilliant. So ok, the next question is from Christopher and Christopher says: “What accent do you prefer Sebastian?, do you prefer the British accent, an American accent or an accent from another country? So what’s your favourite accent?
S: oh, ahm, I don’t have a ‘favourite’ accent, I mean there’re accents I find funny that for comedic potential as a comedian work very well, a German speaking English for some reason is very funny. I don’t know if it’s thanks to Mel Brooks films or what but there’s something funny I think about german speaking English
L: Really? Cause I have a lot of germans who are listening to this
S: Oh-oh!
L: and they are thinking l like “Oh is my English funny?” They might be
S: Offended
[ENDS AT 00:35:00]
[BEGINS FROM 00:35:00]
Sebastian – Offended? I just offended them all.
Luke – You’ve just offended the whole nation of Germany
Sebastian – …of Germany. No, I like the Indian accent. When Indians speak English, I find it I don’t know, there’s a ring to it that I appreciate
Luke – Going going back to the German thing again
Sebastian – Yeah. I have to make up for it now.
Luke – Yeah. You do. But I think, there is, I think, the thing about German accent that makes it funny is as you said like some movies
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – …and stuff and some comedy movies have presented some germans as comedy characters with the voice and so on, but Okay. You find Indian accent to be pleasant.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Charming?
Sebastian – I mean, I love the British accent as well.
Luke – Of course!
Sebastian – Irish accent. I feel the Irish can see anything and it’s adorable. They can curse, they can see terrible news, but it’s charming.
Luke – Hiroshi from Japan is a regular contributor to the Facebook page. Hiroshi says, he has rather a serious question for you, Sebastian. He said:
– “How do you, what do you think about the ban and the gun movement in America” (Hiroshi)
and he adds:
– “I can’t believe they’re allowed to keep the gun. I’m strongly against it” (Hiroshi).
Luke – That’s what he says:
– ” Why don’t they ban guns with the strong decision like the decision to begin the war” (Hiroshi)
Luke – Wow, it’s a controversial question from Hiroshi.
Sebastian – Yes. Well, I mean, I agree with him, generally speaking that there should definitely, definitely be more gun control in the United States. Why I don’t know. This is a very complicated question. I don’t know if we really know why Americans love guns, but, you know, we do love guns! I mean, we, speaking very generally of the American people, I think, it will…, Well, it’s written in the constitution that it’s a right. It’s one of the first bills of the constitution, I don’t know which number.
Luke – I don’t know either. [It’s the 2nd amendment to the constitution! – Luke]
Sebastian – I should know this, but I didn’t memorise the whole constitution. So I think, because it’s like top 5 they think that it’s necessary to hold onto, which of course, is a big mistake in the sense that guns when the Constitution was written were, was a very different beast, you know, a gun and you shoot one bullet and it took you 5 minutes to clean out your…
Luke – They didn’t have AK-47s or M-16s, back in those days.
Sebastian – So, definitely a different kind of thing that we’re dealing with 230 years ago. Why? I think, it’s fear. I really think, it’s fear. I think that…, there’s a big fear that’s…, it’s a vicious circle in the sense…, it’s a vicious circle of a fear in a sense that you know that someone on the street might have a gun, so in order to defend yourself the only way is to have a gun. So, you have a gun and then that person of course is afraid that you might have a gun and so everyone winds up having a gun. Lots of people have guns in the house because they’re worried that someone will rob their house at gunpoint.
Luke – It’s terrible. That means the guns just multiply
Sebastian – Exactly.
Luke – Because all it take is for like a certain number of people to have guns for everyone else to feel that they should have guns.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – But it seems to me that it goes a little deeper than that as well, and when you start talking about gun-control, people feel it’s like anti-American to to ban the gun. So maybe that is the constitution but…,
Sebastian – That’s linked with the constitution because we have this association that…, because the constitution defines America, this is kind of the idea, so that if you kinda get rid of one of the fundamental aspects of the American constitution it is unamerican.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – But in my opinion it is also very much American and necessarily American to put these things in question.
Luke – Yeah.
[00:40:00]
Sebastian – the American way of life, in my opinion, the positive aspect is to put constantly be putting yourself in question which i think the American people and government don’t do enough.
Luke – Yeah. Well, I hope that there is more gun control, just as a final point, I think as you said about it being American, it seems that its central, somehow it is connected to some core American values.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – One of those being freedom or liberty.
Sebastian – Definitely.
Luke – I think that to an extent some people in the States value the right or…, yeah, the right to have a gun as somehow connected to the ability to be free.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – and, having the right to bear arms is more valuable than the fact that some people will die from from shootings.
Sebastian – We’re very much afraid of the government in the United States.
Luke – You don’t like the idea that the government control over you…
Sebastian – Yeah, control and telling somebody an individual what to do. So this is a general, you know, I’m talking very general. As I said the United States is a very big place for 300 million people. It, you know, it’s very hard to categorise a whole country, but I’m talking about the people who as you said hold on to their rights, and yes, it’s that they consider it a right and if the government would say no you can’t carry a gun they would take it as an infringement on their freedom and, because there was established a long time ago and, the United States was, it’s a big country that had pioneers coming in and they needed to explore the land and they needed their gun and so they needed to hold on to it. It’s changed a lot as I said so…
Luke – I think, maybe…, to be honest, maybe the British, I think, it’s our fault. Sorry. I think, it’s our fault, because obviously in America there was a war of independence and they had to fight against the colonials, the Brits, they had a war against the British. So, maybe, adding into the constitution that all Americans were are allowed to have guns and that they should be allowed to have guns was a protection against the British. Because we had guns and we were fighting against you. So, you said: – “Right, American people, you can have guns. In fact, you should, because you need to protect ourselves against the British. So it is our fault.
Sebastian – Yeah. it’s become…, It’s always the British’s fault. Let’s get that clear. It’s always the British’s fault.
Luke – We’re responsible.
Sebastian – but now, it’s been replaced with, you know, but it’s the same ideas, it’s the same concept. Now, it’s been replaced by criminals, you know, the people, the criminals out there who’re gonna attack me and I need to defend… and it also comes back to this idea of fear that I need to defend myself and that no one will do for me.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – So, there’s this mistrust that the government or police won’t do it and it’s also another thing, the citizens say: “- Well, if the cops have guns that’s not fair, I should have a gun as well” and so the cops have guns because the criminals have guns and so, everyone winds up having a gun.
Luke – Yeah. Well, Hiroshi, I hope that answers your question. I think it is clear, you know, that’s not…, it’s a very complex issue. We know that much and you can see how it’s all related to national identity. That actually is very important, you know, in how people define their lives. It’s very complicated, but yeah:
“- Why don’t they ban guns with the so strong decision?” (Hiroshi)
Luke – He says:
– “That’s Americans took a very strong decision to go to war” (Hiroshi)
Luke – So that’s a very, sort of, decisive thing that America sometimes decides to go to war, for example, in Iraq or in Afghanistan that leads us onto another question here. sorry to put this to you sebastian. Today, you have to justify everything that your country has done.
Sebastian – for the last 50 years.
Luke – Yeah, as an American you have to explain why America does these things.
Sebastian – Well, I want to say one thing that, unfortunately with all these gun massacres recently in schools and all of that, I feel and, I’m, you know, hopefully that there’s a tendency that the United States will wake up and really start to put a restriction on guns when you see how rampant the guns are all over the place.
Luke – This is very dangerous. Again, very complicated thing. We could talk about that for ages
Sebastian – Sorry… that’s war
Luke – but the next one is like war, isn’t it. We’ve done guns. Let’s move on to war. So – “What do you think about the American military missions in Iraq and Afghanistan”. That’s a question from Yarek. He asks:
– “What do you think about US military missions in Afghanistan and Iraq” (YAREK)
Sebastian – Well, I’m not very well-informed, enough, I think, to talk about this. I mean, you know, I’m very much against war in general. I’m not for Americans getting involved in such places. Especially, where’s so much irony, in the fact, that the countries that the Americans are invading into the same countries that they supplied guns thirty years ago.
Luke – Well, Bill Hicks who is, you know, a great stand-up comedian, he is unfortunately not with us anymore. He made loads of very funny jokes about it like, one of them was, like, When American politicians appear on the news and they say: – “The Iraqi army”, this is from the original gulf war, 1991 part 1.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – (telling a joke)
– “The Iraqi army, they got terrible weapons”
– “How do you know that?”
– “well, we’ve checked the receipts”
So, you know, so these weapons that America actually, originally sold to the Iraqi army…,
Sebastian – Yeah, exactly.
Luke – …and then they fight against the Iraqi army, with even better weapons than them. So, they know exactly what they’ve got because they sold it to them.
Sebastian – Sold it, yeah.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – So, you know, afterwards as far as specific interactions with Iraq and and Afghanistan, I don’t know enough details. I think that it’s very hard to know what’s going on, really. I mistrust the American news and so, in what aspect am I against it, it’s really hard to know, but I mean, I have to say also that there’s this tendency that I agree in some regards that there needs to be a democratic system that’s put in place in some way. I don’t necessarily agree with the methods that the American government is doing, but, you know, there is, it’s true that there should be some democracy in these countries.
Luke – Yeah.It’s very complicated. Thank you for your questions about this. We’re not necessarily the people (the most informed) to finally answer these very complicated ones, but still it’s interesting to see the opinion of an American person. Yarek also asks:
– “Do you know any foreign languages?”
Luke – I suppose, this is because we assume that Americans don’t know foreign languages, but you’re slightly different because you’ve been in France for a while.
Sebastian – Yeah. I am a weird case even though I am a real American because I was born and raised there. My parents are from Argentina. So I speak a bit of Spanish. I grew up with Spanish in the household and now of course I speak French, because it’s been a while that I’m here and well, yeah. It’s atypical. It’s not necessarily, not many Americans speak foreign languages, but more and more I would say. Especially, because there are such a heavy immigration and a very very big Latino population now in most major cities in the United States. More and more Spanish is being heard on the street everywhere, especially in major cities. So more and more people are, you know, opening up to foreign languages.
Luke – Can I ask you quickly about Argentina?
Sebastian – Yep.
Luke – Do both your parents come from Argentina?
Sebastian – Yes.
Luke – Did they move …
Sebastian – …
Luke – Go on
Sebastian – They were born and raised there both of them. They met there, they married there. My brother was born there and then, they moved to the united states and I was born in the United States. Did I answer your question?
Luke – Yeah. You did. Yeah. I see. Have you been to Argentina yourself?
Sebastian – Yes, several times. Yeah. Well, I know my parents are from Buenos Aires. I know Buenos Aires quite well. I don’t really know that much else of the country unfortunately. I’ve been around a bit. I’ve been to Iguazu (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iguazu_Falls) which is the waterfalls in between Argentina and Brazil – gorgeous! Gorgeous place, but I haven’t been to, many places I still need to visit in Argentina. It is a very big country.
Luke – Yeah. Can you just tell us one thing that you remember about your time in Argentina? Did you eat a lot of steak?
Sebastian – Lots of steak. Very good steak. Very good beef.
Luke – Apparently, it’s the best beef steak you can get, in the world?
Sebastian – Yeaaaaaaah, it’s great I don’t know ‘best’, I mean France is very good the States as well. I mean, it’s hard to say, because it also depends a lot how it’s prepared. Yeah. The quality of the beef is true, it’s very good. It’s very much a part of their diet, everywhere. It’s like normal. Every day you can eat beef and don’t think twice about it. It’s also very nice city. Buenos Aires is actually, very nice city. it’s very European influenced city.
Luke – Yeah?
[ENDS AT 00:50:00]
[BEGINS FROM 00:50:00]
Sebastian – lots of French architecture that you can find, like aspects that kinda remind you of Paris or…, but an older Paris.
Luke – Really nice people as well. The people I’ve met from Argentina have always been like really friendly, interesting and warm
Sebastian – …warm.
Luke – Yeah. I’d love to go one day. Maybe, when I finally do my round-the-world adventure – “Luke’s round-the-world adventure” and I’ll make a podcast.
Sebastian – …and do a podcast from each country.
Luke – It would be brilliant. I’d love to do that. Okay. Let’s see – Atsushi Yoshida who is from Japan would like to know… He says:
– “I want him to talk about American regional accents” [Atsushi Yoshida]
Sebastian – Okay.
Luke – I talk about British regional accents quite a lot. I love accidents. I’m really into it. Sometimes, I talk about American accents, but I don’t know which part of the country my American accent comes from.
Sebastian – Okay.
Luke – If I can, you know, sort of like, start speaking with generic American voice. I don’t know where it comes from. I mean, okay, so…
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – The first question: How many different regional accents are there in the USA.
Sebastian – You can’t number them like that. I mean, it gets very very specific. You know, even in New York there several accents. So there’s Italian-American New York accent.
Luke – “Hey, how are you doing? Come on! What is the matter with you?”
Sebastian – Exactly.
Luke -Do you get some cannoli?
Sebastian – Exactly, very good. So, which would be different from a typical New York accent, which is kind of like the Woody Allen?, would “New York”. They kinda put an emphasis on the “K”, like – “New York”.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – “Water”. Some people say that I have slight New York Jew-accent. I am Jewish, so… I don’t hear it, but sometimes people do say that
there is like, it’s kind of, you might hear it with the “T”. We kind of replace “T” with “D”, like a clear example with “Water”.
Luke – “Water”.
Sebastian – “Water”.
Luke – That’s interesting, because whenever I do, I always use “Water” as an example, I’d say: – “water”.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Now, you say “Water”
Sebastian – Water, water, water.
Luke – Water, water, water, because I emphasise the “R” sound a bit too much.
Sebastian – When you’re doing in American accent?
Luke – Yeah. Can you say
Sebastian – But that’s a New York accent. That’s also my accent, meaning yours, I think, is more of a Middle America accent .
Luke – Yeah. So, Can you say: “can I get a glass of water please?”
Sebastian – Can I get a glass a water please?
Luke – “Can I get a glass of water please?”. So, I think mines is more exaggerated or something.
Sebastian – Yeah, but not that much. Yours is pretty straight on, I mean, there are definitely Americans who speak like that. So…
Luke – Does it have any particular regional…
Sebastian – Nah, I mean, you have to speak more for me to try to place it.
Luke – I guess – “I’m sitting here with the Sebastian Marx and he’s a comic. He’s very funny. We’ve just been drinking some…”, now, that’s kind of “We’ve just been drinking”… it’s kind of really middle American.
Sebastian – Yeah. It’s hard to place. I mean, I’d say, it’s a middle America, but it could be someone from New York as well or any. I think, also I think, it’s starting to blend more and more. I mean, I think, with mass communications all Americans are watching the same television shows, being influenced by the same news broadcasters which, you know, apparently, this is what I’ve heard, I don’t know if it’s true, no matter in which country or language, apparently the newscasters are supposed to have the most neutral accent, which I think is not the case in the BBC, because they speak weird as your sketch so clearly says, but it seems like an American newscaster kinda has to have a relatively neutral accent.
Luke – Okay. Yeah, listeners to the podcast know that part of my comedy routine involves speaking like a newsreader who for some reason speaks like this. That’s a bit exaggerated.
Sebastian – but, is it true?
Luke – Yeah. It is. It is. I was watching the Margaret Thatcher’s funeral today and they were doing it – “The coffin there being lifted by members of the SAS the Royal Marines and the Gurkah rifle infantry”. You know, it’s just like- “Why are they speaking like that?”. Anyway, that’s a different question about the way newsreader speak. Okay.
Sebastian – other American regions you want?
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Okay. There’s a southern accent which is
Luke – “Hey y’ain’t from round here are ya? We don’t take too kindly to strangers round here”
Sebastian – Yeah, it can be very, you know, what we call redneck-y kinda like that the cliche you did, but it could also be very sweet. Can be…, I have to say that there’s something very seductive of a southern girl. When a southern girl has a southern accent it can be very charming as well: – “what has a girl gotta do to get a nice cold drink around here? ” and it can be also very nice.
Luke – “I gots to get myself back home now. Well it sure is getting late”
Sebastian – Exactly.
Luke – I don’t know, I don’t know what this accent is.
Sebastian – No, it was great. It was like a scene from a 1950s movie with James Dean or something.
Luke – Yeah? Brilliant! A lot of people talk about the Texan accent.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – So, what is that, because I have this kind of cowboy voice that I like to play around with which is like, sort of…
Sebastian – John Wayne-y
Luke – No it is more kind of gritty sort of 1970s character from like “The Outlaw Josey Wales” It’s like – “Well I’m prouder than a game rooster to have rid (ridden) with you”, you know, that’s kind of thing, like – “I’m hungry and tired as a Missouri heelhound”, you know, like what is that?
Sebastian – I can’t take responsibility for this, because I don’t know what it is. I mean, I don’t know, sometimes for me as a New Yorker, it’s hard to tell the difference in the southern accent the Texan accent.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – You know that they’re both from the south, but like as, you know, I’m sure that there’s a difference between someone from Georgia and someone from Texas.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – but I wouldn’t be able to necessarily…, yeah, perhaps if I heard I’d be oh that’s this accent but I wouldn’t be able to reproduce it. But you sounded like you’re doing pretty good.
Luke – Yeah. I think, I’m doing a character rather than an accent.
Sebastian – Well, it’s definitely a character of the cliche of that accent.
Luke – He’s a is a gold prospector basically.
Sebastian – Okay. Well, that can be more West, like that can be even more, you know, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, kind of, it’s also a question of what century we’re talking about.
Luke – Yeah. It is. Yeah.
Sebastian – Another accent which, I don’t know if you want to continue with accents, but that’s pretty clear as a Boston accent, being someone who lived in Boston, which is the accent that you can really hear with John F Kennedy.
Luke – Yeah. – “People….”, I can’t do it.
Sebastian – They don’t pronounce, the main thing is the “R”. They don’t pronounce the “R”. The cliche, the key phrase that we always say to make fun of the Boston accent is – “Park the car in Harvard Yard”.
Luke – “Park the car in Harvard Yard”
Sebastian – “Park the car in Harvard Yard”
Luke – That’s P-A-R-K T-H-E C A-R I-N H-A-R-V-A-R-D Y-A-R-D
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – “Park the car in Harvard Yard”
Sebastian – Yeah. – “A wicked kisser” So, that’s the cliche, that’s a typical Boston accent. so: – “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country” and that’s kinda like rhythm to it.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – That’s very typical.
Luke – If you wanna, listeners if you wanna hear what the Boston accent really sounds like, then you could probably watch “The Departed” or – “The Departed”.
Sebastian – …which I haven’t seen, but yeah.
Luke – It’s great! It’s really good film. It’s set in Boston,
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – …all the characters like gritty Boston, you know, locals and they speak with a strong Boston accent. It’s sort of Irish influence.
Sebastian – Yeah. very very heavy …have a huge huge Irish immigration to Boston. Also if you wanna hear a typical Boston accent which is kinda making fun which is a character based on the Kennedy is in “The Simpsons” – Mayor Quimby.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – If you hear the American version of “The Simpsons”, Mayor Quimby has a typical Boston accent.
Luke – Mayor Quimby?
Sebastian – Mayor Quimby, he’s of course a corrupt mayor, you knows, all the cliches of a politician.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – …and he has the cliche of a Boston accent.
Luke – because, he is basically John F Kennedy isn’t he?
Sebastian – Yeah, pretty much or Ted Kennedy, you know, or who was a governor of Massachusetts. There’s a huge Kennedy family in…
Luke – Yeah. It’s interesting the way you say the word “mayor”, because I say “mayor” which is “A-A-A-A-A”, “MA-A-A-A”, that’s it. You say?
Sebastian – mayor.
Luke – mayor
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – kind of. Okay. “MA-A-A-A”.
Sebastian – You say, like almost French do “MA -AH”
Luke – MA AH.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Except without the “H-H-H-H” in the end
Sebastian – Yeah. Yeah.
Luke – I think the way that the British or the way I say it, it sounds a bit ridiculous. I sound like a sheep.
Sebastian – MA-A-A-A-A AH
Luke – MA-A-A-A-A,
[SPK1] – “The MA-A-A-A-YOR of London.”,
[SPK2] -” What? Did you just become a sheep at the beginning of the sentence?”.
[SPK1]- “The MA-A-A-A-YOR of London”.
[SPK2]- “What?”
Luke – You know, “MO-O-O-O-O” is that a word as well? I don’t think so. Next question, Camila Andrade, and I know that she comes from Brazil.
[ 00:60:00]
Sebastian – u-huh
Luke – It’s another question about time. on the subject of time we’ve been going for about an hour.
Sebastian – u-huh
Sebastian – What the hell? It’s a podcast !
Sebastian – They can listen how ever much they want.
Luke – They can pause and come back later.
Sebastian – Can I have another brownie?
Luke – Please have another brownie. You need the energy, because it’s a long podcast.
Sebastian – I’m not gonna pass out
Camila from Brazil, who’s a previous winner of my competition. I launched a competition over a year ago.
Sebastian – Aha.
Luke – She won the competition
Sebastian – What did she have to do?
Luke – She had to record erm a couple of minutes of dialogue, a couple of minutes of talking
Sebastian – u-huh
Luke – In response to one of the episodes of Luke’s English Podcast and she won. People had voted for her and she won the prize which was a dictionary.
Sebastian – Oh, wow! What was the subject of conversation?
Luke – Oh, goodness me. It’s a long time ago now. I’d heard so many…,
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – …that I can’t remember what they were about about. All I remember that she, you know, she just was very impressive, and charming, and so well done Camila. Alright?
Sebastian – u-huh.
Luke – So, anyway. She said to me:
– “Would you rather go back in time and meet your ancestors or go way into the future
and meet your great grandchildren”? (Camila Andrade)
Sebastian – ooh.
Luke – What would you rather do? Who’d you rather meet, your ancestors from the past or your grandchildren from the future?
Sebastian – Very interesting question.
Luke – time travel related.
Sebastian – Yeah. Yeah. there’s a theme here. I don’t know. I think, they’re both interesting.
Luke – Yeah?
Sebastian – I would say the future.
Luke – Yeah?
Sebastian – I’m very skeptical about the future. I’m very skeptical and very worried about the future. so….
Luke – You think it’s all going to be zombies…
Sebastian – Yeah. Zombies at best. The zombies at best.
Luke – Really?
Sebastian – If the world is still even exists. If the planet still exists.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Yeah. In the future, I think it’ll be very interesting to see
if anything I do has any influence on anything in the future.
Luke – Really?
Sebastian – But I’m also very curious, I would also be very curious, where I’m coming from, what…, because, you know, I was pretty close to all my grandparents and it’s fascinating, and to really see the lineage and, what, how much I inherit. So this hard, It’s really hard question, but I think, I would say the future.
Luke – Yeah?
Sebastian – Yeah. How about you?
Luke – I see… It’s a very good question too. If I went back into the past..,
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – I’d be worried that if I did something it would affect the future.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – For example, If I, sort of, you know like, do you know the movie “Back to the Future” ?
Sebastian – I know it very well.
Luke – If I went to the past and I met my ancestors, if I sort of said something wrong or, your know if I, you know, dropped a glass in the kitchen or If I sort of caused something to happen which somehow divided the family,
Sebastian – Yeah
Luke – …you know if I like tried to make a joke and no one understood and they all got offended and then there was a big argument and then my parents for some reason…
Sebastian – Split up.
Luke – …never met each other and I would just disappear, I wouldn’t exist anymore.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – So, I be worried about sort of breaking the space time continuum
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – You know…
Sebastian – but I think, even if you just said – “Hi I’m your great-great-grandchild” I think that there was already kind of influence, that would screw-up everything.
Luke – I think, that would it, wouldn’t it? I think, there’s a number of theories about what can happen if you go into the past.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – One is that you affect of the future which then affects who you are in that situation. If I, for example, I’ve made a mistake or said a bad joke of my parents never got together, then I would just disappear.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – But the other option, the other theory is that another version, another plane of existence would be created.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – …and so, it would be alright.
Sebastian – Yeah, because it’s just another plane.
Luke – Yeah, exactly! So I don’t think I would go into the past, because I’m scared of what I would do.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – So I would like to go to the future.
Sebastian – Yeah, but that would screw things up as well.
Luke – Would it?
Sebastian – Wouldn’t it?
Luke – Would it?
Sebastian – Imagine now, if our grand-grandparents decided to come visit us, to see how we are doing, that would…
Luke – for example, if they came back and they look really ill and really poor.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – and they would like, look, you know, it’s really hard in the future, you know, we haven’t got any food, we haven’t good any money
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – …you know, we’re homeless what are you doing then I’d feel really guilty and I’d just…
Sebastian – Yeah, or you would be like, how did you travel? It would open up your mind to a whole ‘nother realm.
Luke – Yeah. I’d just say, I would accept that in the future at some point we will be able to travel in time and obviously, we can’t do it now, but they could. So, I don’t know.
Sebastian – But if in the future we can travel in time we would know that now,wouldn’t we?
Luke – Yeah. We would. I think if we’d got the ability to travel through time then all the time would just become meaningless, and you know, the space time continuum would break down, it would just become chaos.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – But, you know, I’m not a physicist
Sebastian – Me neither.
Luke – I’m not a quantum physicist, I think we need ask people like, what is he name? Michio Kaku I think, he is a Japanese-American physicist. He’s a sort of guy who can answer these questions or Doc Brown Doc Emmett Brown
Sebastian – Yeah, of course. He’d be the most obvious.
Luke – But if you did he would probably just go “Marty” “Get to the Delorian” or something like that. that’s what I think. I’ll go to the future just so I could get, like, the next iPhone.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – and bring it back.
Sebastian – iPhone 25.
Luke – Yeah, and I would show people – “Look at this I’ve got the iPhone 25”, but I don’t know how it will be, what the iPhone 25 will be like.
Sebastian – I think, It won’t be a phone.
Luke – No?
Sebastian – I think, it’ll just be like a thing that you attach like helmet or I don’t know an ear piece
Luke – I don’t think, it will be as big as a helmet. I think I’ll be just…
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – it’ll probably just be like a little tablet that you swallow.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – and you just swallow it once and then…
Sebastian – a beam comes out your nose and you can touch the screen which could be like a projection coming out of nose.
Luke – Yeah, exactly. You can send laser beams out of your face which allow you like visit websites.
Sebastian – Yeah, like to have your agenda in front of you.
Luke – Yeah. You could just like things
Sebastian – Yeah, you could like things.
Luke – You’d be able to just like things more conveniently. Okay. So again, I hope that’s the answer your question Camila. Let’s move on, Wassim. Wassim – I know, he’s a clairvoyant. He lives in New Zealand. He is originally from Iran. Interesting gu,y and Wassim is interested in your spiritual beliefs.
Sebastian – Ohoommm
Luke – Do you have a spiritual belief? Do you believe in life after death? What is your spirituality Sebastian?
Sebastian – I don’t, I do not adhere to any religion. That’s true, but I do consider myself a spiritual person, but I’m not sure what exactly I believe and I think, I’m discovering that more and more every day. I do believe that there is a sort of intelligence, but I don’t necessarily think that intelligence is not us. In the sense that I think, we are utilising a very small percentage of our capacity and I do think that we are deities in our own way.
Luke – We are gods.
Sebastian – We are, and I think, we don’t realise it, as if we kinda spiritual, we have a creative power that were not aware of and we don’t utilise or that were afraid of. So I believe in human potential. I don’t know if that’s spiritual or not. I believe it is spiritual, and I do believe that we are linked as living beings on this earth.
Luke – Yeah. Facebook, you know.
Sebastian – Facebook that’s the clearest example of my spirituality.
Luke – I’m joking, I’m joking of course. I’m being facetious as usual. Yeah. I agree. I think that we do have hell of a lot of untapped potential. We’re probably learning more and more as time goes on. I don’t know, if I would, speaking for myself, I don’t know if I would call it spirituality, you see, like…, I think that our subconscious or the way how our minds work is kind of a mystery to us.
Sebastian – It’s a very big mystery. I mean, I believe in dreams. If I can say. I mean there’s nothing to believe in, we are there, but we have no idea what it is. We have so little information about it. That’s what I’m trying to say that we’re barely scratching the surface on what we are, and I think the miracle is – look at us, we’re incredibly complex beings. We’re inventing complicated computer just to mimic.
Luke – But also there are some things which people, there are things which people, let’s see understand or yeah people understand as a spiritual phenomena. Let’s say or supernatural things which may be explained by other things, you know, like the fact that, maybe sometimes, certain, close friends or brothers or sisters, when they’re separate from each other they feel a connection and one of them decides to call the other one on the telephone, and at that moment the other one picks up his telephone, and then that the call arrives,
Sebastian – …synchronicity kinda…
Luke – …synchronicity, and then they conclude that they have some spiritual link,
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – …but it could just be explained by something else that we don’t really have the language or the we can’t really explain that right now, but it might not be that it’s sort of some supernatural force like some kind of extra sensory force. It could just be, you know, at since they are apart, naturally they are going to think about each other, sometimes when when they both think about each other at the same time, one of them calls the other one
Sebastian – Yeah.
[ENDS AT 00:70:00]
[STARTS AT 00:70:00]
Luke – It’s not that unbelievable, it’s quite reasonable actually that would happen.
Sebastian – I think, I think, that’s, that’s always, always seems like it’s the fine line between miracle and something very banal, you know, these kinds of phenomenon. I think, that’s, that’s, you know, I think, it depends a lot on how you want to take it.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – You can see life as, as series of miracles and, and, and a strange phenomenon and you wouldn’t wrong and you can see them as just the sequence of events, and you wouldn’t be wrong either. I think, lots has to do, lots has to do with your perspective and I think, that’s what I’m saying – we create are world, I think, that’s, you can see the magic in a moment, the magic in the moments or not.
Luke – Yeah. It depends on how you understand things that happen. … for example you might see that the birth of the child and you might say – “Oh, my God! It’s a miracle!” and another person would see the birth of a child and he’d say: -“Well it’s not really a miracle, it’s science”
Sebastian – It’s science.
Luke – Yeah. That’s what the body does we know how it does it. Yes.
Sebastian – …but there isn’t a miracle. I mean, science sometimes it’s just an explanation of the miracle.
Luke – Yeah. They don’t really explain why these things happen.
Sebastian – They explain how a child is born, but they can’t explain really how… the driving force behind it either.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – It’s, we can go on for hours…
Luke – keep talking about. Life after death? We don’t really know do we?
Sebastian – No, we don’t. Do I believe? I’ve, I actually have no idea. Of course I don’t have any idea.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Do I think, do I feel? I think there’s something but I don’t know much more really.
Luke – Yeah. Okay. Alright. So, Wassim, I hope you like that rather vague answer
Sebastian – very very vague
Luke – Okay, next question is from … I don’t know how to pronounce your name Hải Tuấn, Hải Tuấn I think and Hải Tuấn says as an American Hải Tuấn:
– “As a American, which accent do you think is the most easy to understand?(Hải Tuấn)
Luke – This is a difficult question>
Sebastian – within the United States or?
Luke – the question continues British, Australian, South American or Asian English? Do you find that there’s one accent that is easier to understand than others?
Sebastian – Well, it’s hard to say, because I’m not objective. An American accent is the easiest for me to understand, because I’m an American. Out of those that were listed…
Luke – Surely it’s just the accents you’re the most familiar with.
Sebastian – Yeah, Yeah. I think, but I would say between an Australian and British, but also like British there are several, you know, like a cockney accent, I wouldn’t understand.
Luke – Yeah, if you meet someone British, if you meet someone from Scotland, Glasgow, like a working-class guy from Glasgow, it might be very difficult to understand because they’re using a dialect.
Sebastian – I will need subtitles.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Scottish films I often need subtitles.
Luke – “Trainspotting”, for example
Sebastian – for example
Luke – Yeah. I personally, if I can answer this question I would say, it really depends on the kind of accent your most familiar with.
Sebastian – Yeah. Of course.
Luke – So if you’ve never ever heard an accident from Edinburgh then it might seem very strange and difficult to understand, but if you grew up in Edinburgh and that’s the accent the you’ve listened to since you’re a baby then that’s going to be the easiest one. So for learners of English maybe they, I would say, there is no one accent which is easier or less easy to understand it all depends on how familiar you are with those accents. So for learners of English what you need to do is to try and expose yourself to as many different accents in English as possible so that they are less foreign to you.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – I would say. Let’s move on. Stefano says: – “Hi Luke…” he would like to find out from you about the bomb blast which happened in Boston.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – …on Monday. So, in fact, there’s another question about that from Khazan Anna who is from Russia and she said
– “First I would like him to accept my deep condolence in connection with the terrorist action in Boston, if it’s a terrorist action.” Khazan Anna
Sebastian – Yeah. Do we know anything more. Cuz I saw it, when, you know, I was watching the news that night, but I haven’t….
Luke – I don’t think we do know anymore except that some, I think, some politicians in America have described it as a terrorist action. CNN described it as a terror attack.
Sebastian – Okay.
Luke – We don’t really know who
Sebastian – How many dead finally?
Luke – I think, it’s three.
Sebastian – Okay.
Luke – But we don’t really know more about who did it, but what do you think about this Sebastian?
Sebastian – What do I think about…? I don’t think we know enough. I don’t know, I wasn’t there. I don’t know…, I think, if it was an act of “terrorism”, quote unquote, I don’t understand, I don’t think it was very effective honestly.
Luke – They didn’t do a good job?
[ENDS AT 00:75:00]
[STARTS AT 00:75:00]
Sebastian – I mean in a sense…, that’s, I think if you wanted to kill the maximum amount of people like they didn’t really do their job. I don’t know.
Luke – Thank goodness
Sebastian – Thank goodness. So, well, I mean, I’ve spent five years in Boston. I love the city, and I think, it’s of course like any, you know, if it was an intentional act, I think, it’s, you know, of course a terrible act, I don’t, you know, I don’t understand the meaning or why someone would do that.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Besides that I don’t know what else to say about it.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – I’m sorry. It happened and definitely condolences to the people who were injured or lost their lives in…
Luke – Yeah. very sad.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – We, you know, we can’t say much more about it, because really we don’t know exactly who was responsible…,
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – or how it came about. All we can say is that’s very tragic of course.
Sebastian – …and very an unfortunate event.
Luke – Yeah. Absolutely. Just like any other attack in any situation…
Sebastian – …on civilians
Luke – Yeah. Exactly. It’s all very tragic. We’ll find out more as we know from the news. Let’s see. I’ve got more questions, Sebastian, is that right?
Sebastian – Yes, I’ve to go on about 10 minutes, but…
Luke – Oh, really?
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Okay. Cunyt T, I think that’s how I say his name. He said, he asked about differences between Europe and the US. I think, we’ve talked a little bit about that. Cristina Ricciardo would like to know about American junk food and obesity problems.
Sebastian – Yes. Woooooooooooa! Yes.
Luke – What do you think about that? People say that the Americans are really fat, because they eat hamburgers all the time.
Sebastian – Yes. That’s not only the hamburgers, that’s everything. It’s, okay! Let’s put it this way. First of all the United States once again is a very big place. You’ve got people really, who have really very different eating habits, whether you know, you find someone in a big city which big city, which states and even within one city of people who eat, you know, very differently. Once again, especially in major cities in the United States, you can really get anything you want. So you have the choice to eat healthy or not. We are constantly bombarded by food, in a sense, advertisement for food or the capacity to get it in the United States.
Luke – …very convenient.
Sebastian – …very convenient, and so there’s a big tendency to overeat. So it’s a mix of things. The American diet is not necessary that healthy, because, first of all there’s lots, first of all, the quantities are very big. If you go to a restaurant usually the platters are more than what is healthy to eat. That’s why there’s a whole culture of doggie bags which is the little package that you can ask for to bring home half of your meal.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – …which is regularly practiced over there, because the portions are so big. So I think it’s also a question of quantity. I think, it’s also the quality of lots of the food is very processed.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – …lots of heavily processed foods.
Luke – So is it, you know, a welcome change to be in France?
Sebastian – Yeah. Food wise, I mean, there are few countries, I think, where you eat as good as you do in France. I mean as far as freshness of food and variety, it’s a very, pretty varied cuisine.
Luke – Except for Britain. Obviously English food, I think, no one can argue that English food is not the best. What I’m saying is of course British food is number one. Then French food, then, you know, other countries. We all know, I mean, everyone denies it, but we all know that English food is clearly the best food in the world. I think no one can argue against that.
Sebastian – There was an interview with John Cleese from Monty Python, and he had a great come back
Luke – John Cleese
Sebastian – John Cleese, you know, and he was on The Daily Show, it was like ten years ago, and the guy asked – “Why does British food suck?”, and he responded – “Well, because we had an empire to run”.
Luke – Yeah. We were too busy taking the world.
Sebastian – Too busy taking over the world than focus on cuisine.
Luke – …and then we just took everyone else’s food.
Sebastian – Yeah, well, one thing to say about American food is that American food is also very varied as well, in a sense that what is becoming more and more the definition of American food is international.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – You go to a city like New York where a typical newyorker will eat Thai for lunch and then Mexican for dinner and, you know, really go all over the world within a week, culinarily speaking. So of course there are American typical dishes, but…
[ENDS AT 00:80:00]
[STARTS AT 00:80:00]
Luke – It’s not simple, it’s not simple ladies and gentleman
Sebastian – No.
Luke – You can’t just say American food any more.
Sebastian – No, it’s complicated.
Luke – It’s complicated. I think, maybe
Sebastian – It’s complex, complex.
Luke – I’m gonna call this episode a cup of tea with Sebastian Marx, but it could easily be called it’s complicated
Sebastian – It’s complicated.
Luke – Right, I’m sorry, I’m just gonna ask you a couple of other questions.
Sebastian – Ohoom
Luke – Hanaé Georgette Berton
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – …asks:
– “once again, are you sure you’re the man on the flyer?” (Hanaé Georgette Berton)
Luke – Does this make sense to you?
Sebastian – Yes. Yes. This is person has seen my show or..,
Luke – I think, this person has seen your show.
Sebastian – Yes. I am the person on the flyer. I usually wear glasses and on my flyer I do not have glasses, and on the flyer, it was, the person took the photo of me when I was in the middle of laughing. I was a pretty good hearty laugh…,
Luke – Yeah? “hahahahaha”, that’s a hearty laugh.
Sebastian – Yeah, and I was really cracking up and so you might not see that face often in real life …
Luke – So people ask you you: – “Is that you on the flyer?”
Sebastian – Yes, often.
Luke – Okay.
Sebastian – Yeah
Luke – Hanaé there you go. I hope that’s the answer to your question. She is nice Hanaé, I’ve met her, she came to “French Fried Comedy Night”.
Sebastian – WOooooa. Okay.
Luke – She was shy. It was very sweet.
Sebastian – I don’t think, I don’t think she introduced herself to me, does she?
Luke – I don’t know.
Sebastian – I don’t know
Luke – She introduced herself to me, Sebastian. I’m Luke, from Luke’s English Podcast.
Sebastian – I see. So she’s shy, but up to a certain point.
Luke – Exactly, you know, she managed to overcome her shyness to ask.
Sebastian – Luke’s English Podcast.
Luke – Exactly.
Sebastian – …The host of Luke’s English Podcast a question
Luke – Hiroshi… I’ve just got two more things, if everyone has got the time, including the listeners. I might divide this podcast into two episodes.
Sebastian – You do, whatever you want.
Luke – We’ll see and Hiroshi Maruyama comes back with the second question, and he says:
– “Ask him his favorite sport. I like disc golf, rollerblading and salsa dancing.” I don’t think dancing is a sport, but it’s fine “Doesn’t he do any of them? Is disc golf popular among US people? I think it’s a excellent sport.” (Hiroshi Maruyama)
Luke – I know what you’re thinking, Sebastian. You’re thinking: – “What these disc golf?”
Sebastian – Yes.
Luke – I don’t know what disc golf is either.
Sebastian – Disc golf
Luke – Disc golf. Can you imagine? Have you ever heard of disc golf?
Sebastian – No. I imaginegolfing like with plates, but…,
Luke – Right, it’s here on the internet, on Wikipedia. Wikipedia says:
Sebastian – Are there some images?
Luke – Yeah. There you go. It looks like it is an American sport.
Sebastian – Aha.
Luke – It must be an American sport. It says..
Sebastian – Ok it’s been like throwing a frisbee into a basket.
Luke – It’s like basketball but with a frisbee
Sebastian – But, but it seems more like golf, in the sense that it’s not like… it’s not like basketball in the sense that there are teams, it seems like there are holes, you know, baskets that you have to throw the frisbee into I guess.
Luke – It’s like playing golf…,
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – but with a frisbee…,
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – …and you throw the frisbee into a basket
Sebastian – Instead of putting a ball in a hole, you put the frisbee in a basket. I guess.
Luke – …and I expect you can’t walk with the frisbee
Sebastian – Yeah, I guess. That would kind of defeat the purpose.
Luke – It sounds good.
Sebastian – Yeah. I’d like to play it. I have never seen a disc golf course, but…
Luke – Yeah?
Sebastian – So disc golf, I do enjoy dancing salsa, it’s not a sport. I don’t think that we can consider dancing a sport, unless it’s a competition, so you can do that but… Yeah, I do enjoy dancing I took classes, salsa classes, and lots of fun, lots of fun.
Luke – Mmmmm, okay.
Sebastian – I don’t play much sport right now. I played baseball when I was young.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Baseball, American football,
Luke – little league?
Sebastian – little league and all. I wasn’t too short for basketball
Luke – Okay. Good, good. Final point, Sebastian.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – This is the last question from Flavio who says:
– “I would like to hear him try to pronounce a few words in British English…” (Flavio Gasperini)
Sebastian – Oh, dear…
Luke – and he’s listed some words, alright?
Sebastian – Yes.
Luke – So the first word is “water”. So how would you say it normally, first of all?
Sebastian – Water. Well, like sorry because now, I’ve got the pressure and I know
I’m suppose to … “water”.
Luke – Let’s do like this. Say it in your normal accent and then say like a British person.
Sebastian – Water.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Water.
Luke – Alright. Water.
Sebastian – Water.
Luke – Pretty good.
Sebastian – Water.
Luke – Pretty good. Yeah. Can I…
Sebastian – Can I have a glass of water?
Luke – Yeah. Alright, not bad, the “T” sound. There’s another one, the next word is “territory”
Sebastian – Territory.
Luke – …or actually I would say “territory”
Sebastian – Hmmm. Territory.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – Territory.
Luke – T-e-r-r-i-tory.
Sebastian – Te-rr-i-tory. what am I missing.
Luke – What are doing there?
Sebastian – Territory.
Luke – So, not – “territory”, it’s not a question, but “territory”
Sebastian – Territory.
Luke – Yeah, okay.
Sebastian – Territory.
Luke – This is British territory.
Sebastian – This is British territory.
Luke – Alright.
Sebastian – Not bad?
Luke – Not bad, Sebastian. “Thought”.
Sebastian – Thought.
Luke – Yeah. “Thought”.
Sebastian – Thought. There I’d think just like Darth Vader
Luke – Really? That’s “the force” isn’t it?
Sebastian – the force!
Luke -Darth Vader would be like: – “I was thinking about your birthday”. Now, what’s the joke?
Sebastian – “I have a thought”
Luke – Yeah, and – “I have a thought”.
Sebastian – Thought.
Luke – “I know what you get for your birthday, Sebastian. I’ve felt your presents” So, okay – “thought”. “advertisement”
Sebastian – Advertisement.
Luke – Alright. now…,
Sebastian – Advertisement.
Luke – …in America you’d say what?
Sebastian – Advertisement.
Luke – Advertisement, but…
Sebastian – …or commercial.
Luke – Advertisement.
Sebastian – Advertisement.
Luke – Alright. Okay.
Sebastian – Advertisement.
Luke – Adver”T”isement.
Sebastian – Adver”T”isement. Adver”T”isement.
Luke – Pretty good. Now – “Look at that advertisment!”
Sebastian – Look at…
Luke – Look at that advertisement.
Sebastian – Look at that advertisement. I can’t do without going into cliche.
Luke – It’s fine, and finally – “I can’t eat eggs”.
Sebastian – I can’t
Luke – I can’t eat eggs.
Sebastian – I can’t eat eggs. I can’t eat eggs.
Luke – I can’t
Sebastian – I can’t
Luke – Yeah, that’s good.
Sebastian – I can’t
Luke – I just can’t
Sebastian – I just can’t eat eggs.
Luke – I hate eggs.
Sebastian – I hate eggs
Luke – Very good, and in American accent?
Sebastian – I hate eggs.
Luke – Yeah. Do you really?
Sebastian – I hat…. no, I love them.
Luke – Me too. I love eggs as well. Well, Sebastian, it’s been an absolute pleasure to have you with me.
Sebastian – Pleasure is all mine, delicious, I ate two brownies.
Luke – Fine, it’s great.
Sebastian – I’m eating like an American now.
Luke – Go ahead. Do you want…
Sebastian – It’s been nine years trying to break the habits, and now here at Luke’s English Podcast, I fall back in
Luke – I to treat my guests well by providing them with snacks and beverages.
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – I’m glad that you enjoyed the brownies. You can have another one if you like.
Sebastian – Oh, no. I’ve already had two, and…
Luke – Okay.
Sebastian – I have a line I have to now dance 45 minutes of salsa.
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – …in order to make up for…
Luke – …to burn off the calories.
Sebastian – Yeah. Minimum.
Luke – Okay. Well, thank you, Sebastian. Ladies and gentlemen if you’re interested in finding out about Sebastian’s shows which, if you’re in the area you should be interested in, you can check out his website which will be printed on my website. sebastianmarx.com
Sebastian – sebmarx.com – “s”-“e”-“b”-“m”-“a”-“r”-“x” “DOT” “COM”
Luke – DOT COM
Sebastian – DOT COM
Luke – Alright.
Sebastian – Yes.
Luke – I hope to have you back at some point Sebastian
Sebastian – with pleasure.
Luke – Great. Sebastian also has a podcast in French
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – If you’re interested.
Sebastian – It’s called “Donc Voila Quoi”
Luke – “Donc Voila Quoi” which is like saying, “So, there you go”
Sebastian – Yeah. Pretty, pretty much means nothing.
Luke – Really?
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – It’s like -“So there you go”
Sebastian – So, there you go.
Luke – ”Donc Voila Quoi”
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Okay. How is my French?
Sebastian – Wonderful.
Luke – Is it really?
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – Non, c’est ne pas vrai
Sebastian – Well because I think you are accent conscious
Luke – Yeah.
Sebastian – I think within a year you’ll have a better French accent than I do.
Luke – Yeah?
Sebastian – Yeah, because I don’t pay any attention to and so that’s why.
Luke – C’est tres important pour moi
Sebastian – Yeah.
Luke – This is not Luke’s French Podcast, I just wanted to
Sebastian – not yet, not yet.
Luke – Not yet, maybe there will be another one, but I think, I’m gonna stick to the English one for the moment.
Thanks very much for listening to the podcast ladies and gentlemen. What I normally do at the end is that I go like “bye bye bye bye” like, sort of, echo?
Sebastian – Yeah, okay.
Luke – Do you want to join me with a “Bye bye bye bye”
Sebastian – Yeah.
Thank you very much again for listening to the podcast
Bye bye bye bye
[THE END OF THE EPISODE]

129. A Cup of Tea with… Pierre Gaspard

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A conversation with a friend of mine who managed to learn English to a good enough level to perform stand-up comedy.

Right-click here to download this episode.
Pierre Gaspard is a French actor and comedian who performs comedy in English. His English is really good. In this episode I invited Pierre to my flat for a cup of tea and some biscuits, and to talk to him about learning English, doing comedy and life in Canada, France and the UK. I also teach Pierre how to speak using a few British accents – including Manchester, Cockney and a kind of Scottish accent.

***There is SOME RUDE LANGUAGE in this episode, so watch out if you’re offended easily, or if you’re a teacher and you’re using this in the classroom.***

There is not a full transcript of this episode but below I have written a lot of phrases and sentences that we used. You can read them, and use them to study or understand some of the things we said. If you have any questions, please send me an email. You can also see a couple of videos below, which relate to our conversation.

Pierre’s show is called “No Shame” and you can see him perform it every Saturday evening from 7PM at Cafe Paname in Paris. All the details are here at his website http://www.pierregaspard.com

LANGUAGE
Here are the questions I asked Pierre, and some phrases and sentences we used during this conversation.

I’m joined now by a very attractive looking gentleman. He looks… if you can imagine Bruce Wayne… what’s his name? (Christian Bale) Imagine Christian Bale in all his amazing Hollywood glory, well that’s basically what I’ve got sitting in front of me.
He has a look-a-like living in Paris.
As far as I know Pierre originally comes from Marseille, and I think he has spent some time in the USA, but we’re going to find out now because we’re going to start talking to him.
Are you looking forward to that?
-I am absolutely
-I guess I have some face features that kind of resembles him but I look more like, err, I don’t know, E from Entourage or something. Henry from the New York Comedy Night told me that, and I usually tell him that he looks like David Beckham.
Has George Clooney ever done a British accent in a film?
-No, I don’t think so. It wouldn’t be believable. It would be like Brad Pitt doing an English…
He (Brad Pitt) did a kind of Irish gypsy accent in “Snatch”, which was very good.
-And he did a German accent in “7 Years in Tibet” I think. That was pretty bad.
He’s meant to be a cockney but he gets it all horribly wrong (Don Cheadle’s cockney accent in the film “Ocean’s 11”)
-He shouldn’t (erase all the YouTube videos) because that adds a comical side of it. It doesn’t make sense at all that this guy would be playing a British cockney accent guy.

How are you Pierre?
I’m just leaving the cookies there, just to tempt you.
It won’t be the first time that I’ve spoken with my mouth full on this podcast. Usually it’s chocolate.
Are you one of these people who finds that very annoying… to slurp your tea?
-In Iran, if you don’t make noise while you drink your tea… I think so… it’s insulting. It’s like burping when you’re eating couscous or whatever.
-I don’t know if my grandparents were racist or whatever but they always told me that, like in Algeria because they used to live there, that at the end of the meal if you burp it means that you had a good meal and that’s a good sign. But that might have been just some racist bullshit. Like, yeah, these ‘primates’ they just burp all the time…
We hear rumours about other cultures, like ‘yeah in China everyone likes to eat frog-eyes’ but we don’t really know if it’s true.
Tell us about slurping your tea, is that normal or is that rude?
I’ve heard that there’s a kind of genetic thing, that some people can’t drink tea without slurping it for some sort of genetic reason. Like, you know the way that some people can roll their tongue? and other people can’t? Some people, physically, can’t drink tea without burining their lips unless they slurp.
So you perform stand up comedy in English, but English is not your first language, is that right?
-Yes that’s right
That leads me to my next question… Your English is very good… How did you manage that?
-I was never able to speak German.
What, it just didn’t click? You just didn’t take to it. But you took to English. For some reason it just appealed to you, right?
-I think it’s way simpler to, err, master the basis of English. You can have 100 words and be an executive at a big American firm.
Or a president!
-Or a president, exactly. I dunno, German was not as appealing. You bathe in English language all the time in France, in every occidental country.
-To answer your question, I was good at English at school.
I can hear an American hint in your accent. I wasn’t sure if that was Canadian or American. For me I find it difficult to identify if someone is Canadian or American. I mean, some things give it away, like the way the Canadians pronounce the, sort of, ‘O’ sounds sometimes. Like, famously the way they sau the word ‘about’. Some people say they say ‘aboot’ or some people say they say ‘aboat’…
-I never heard anyone say ‘aboot’ except on the South Park episode with the Canadians. I never heard any Canadians say ‘aboot’.
-Maybe the Canadians will not be aware of their own accent.
I meet more American people in Paris than I do in London. I think maybe when they’re in London they keep their voice down.
-To the British average people, Americans are so vulgar I think.
I think this is what Americans are afraid of, although to an extent British people are quite snobbish about Americans and I don’t like that, I think that’s really unfair. …They sense that British people are a bit condescending or a bit judgemental about American English or something. I think Americans sometimes have a view of the English as if they are very snobbish.

You mentioned that you embraced English but is that true in France, has that always been true that in France people in this country have always embraced the learning of English? (Longest question ever)
HELLO LISTENERS
*Writing these phrases is taking me a very long time, and it is nearly 10PM and I haven’t eaten my dinner yet. So I am going to stop now, because dinner is pretty important, don’t you think?
So – do you really need these phrases? How useful is this to you? If you would like me to continue then please leave a comment saying “Please continue the vocabulary notes!”. The best way to persuade me to continue writing is to send me a donation. Just click the button below, send a donation and send a message saying – “Please could you write more vocabulary notes on episode 129? They’re really important to me!”
If the notes aren’t really important, I won’t do them. But if it is worth my time, I’ll continue. Donations help.

124. James Bond

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This episode is all about the history of James Bond. You can also learn how to speak like Sean Connery or Roger Moore :)

Right-click here to download this episode.

NEWS UPDATE: I won the Macmillan Dictionary Award for Best Blog 2012! Thank you very much for voting for me! I’m delighted to have won the award. I will record a podcast soon in order to thank you in person.

Also, you may have experienced some problems downloading the podcast recently. This was due to a technical difficulty by podomatic.com, my podcast host. Thankfully they have now fixed the problem and you should be able to download properly. In fact, since the problem was fixed I had over 5,000 downloads just yesterday!

ANYWAY! This episode is all about James Bond. You can read the blog post transcript below. Also, you can see the video of Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon from the trip, below.
50 Years of James Bond

This year the James Bond franchise celebrates its 50 year anniversary with the release of the new Bond movie Skyfall, which is receiving some very positive reviews. Some people are calling it the best Bond movie ever, and it is likely to become the highest earning film of the franchise so far. In this blog post I’m going to give a brief overview of the history of the franchise and then tell you what I thought about Skyfall.

You can find definitions of the words in bold at the bottom of this post.

50 Years of James Bond
First, some background info on the Bond films, released by Eon Productions. The series kicked off in 1962 with Sean Connery as 007 in Dr No. This was followed by four other films with Connery as Bond. These first five films really established all the hallmarks of the James Bond franchise. A cool and handsome Bond, sudden violence, stunning international locations, beautiful women, casual sexism, ironic jokes (usually made by Bond just after killing someone), gadgets, side characters such as M, Q and Miss Moneypenny, insane bad-guys who want to destroy the world and other trademarks such as Bond’s Aston Martin sports car and his Walther PPK handgun. Sean Connery is still widely considered to be the best Bond. It was his combination of good looks, self-confidence and aggression that really defined how we see Bond today.

In 1969 after Connery quit, the role of Bond went to a largely unknown actor called George Lazenby in the film On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Lazenby didn’t enjoy playing Bond, complaining that the producers hadn’t treated him with enough respect as an actor and that the character was a “brute”. The film is widely regarded as a flop, with Lazenby an unconvincing Bond. Personally I like the film. It’s full of amazing action sequences and has quite an emotional ending, unlike most of the other Bond films. Lazenby’s Bond is more vulnerable and human than Connery’s, which makes him a more realistic and three-dimensional character.

Connery was persuaded to return as Bond for Diamonds Are Forever in 1971. In contrast to the previous film, this one was more humourous in tone. In fact, during the 70s the films became less serious, prone to moments of silliness and generally quite formulaic.

Then in 1973 Roger Moore took over as James Bond, and the silliness continued. Moore’s acting style was more suited to comedy than action and many of Moore’s films contain moments of camp humour which many critics believe lessen the seriousness and dramatic impact of the franchise. Still, Roger Moore is an entertaining James Bond, even if he was less aggressive and dynamic than Connery and Lazenby.

Roger Moore made seven Bond films, and the last one A View to a Kill was considered to be a financial failure. Moore was too old to continue as Bond. The producers decided it was time to find a new actor for the role. Initially the job was offered to Pierce Brosnan, but then withdrawn because of his contractual commitments to a popular TV show called Remington Steele, but Brosnan would return later. It was Timothy Dalton who got the role in the end, playing Bond in two films from 1987 to 1989.

Dalton was a classically-trained actor and decided he would play Bond as a dark, serious character. In a similar way to George Lazenby he interpreted Bond as a more vulnerable character who questions his orders from his boss, M. Critics praised his two performances as bringing more weight to the films, but they also criticised the lack of humour and playfulness which had become an essential part of the franchise.

In 1995, after 6 years without Bond, the film GoldenEye was released with Pierce Brosnan in the lead role. It was a big box-office success and was generally considered to be a modernisation of the series. Pierce Brosnan was praised for his performance as Bond. He seemed to combine aspects of both Sean Connery and Roger Moore. He had the looks, the charisma and the aggressive brutality of Connery but also the suave sophistication and humourous touch of Roger Moore. He also managed to include some of the depth and psychological realism of the Dalton performances. The film also included Judi Dench in the role of M (Bond’s boss). This was considered to be a positive move because it addressed some of the sexism of the previous films in the franchise. In one scene, M refers to Bond as a “sexist, misogynist dinosaur”. Also, Judy Dench is just a great actress and she brought a new level of depth to the character of M. She remains a key character in the more recent Bond films, especially Skyfall.

Brosnan made five Bond films in total. They were all commercial successes but critical reactions were mixed. Goldeneye breathed new life into the Bond franchise, but the subsequent Brosnan Bond films quickly became formulaic and unoriginal, focusing on action rather than character and story.

Then in 2006 we were introduced to a new Bond, played by Daniel Craig. Casino Royale rebooted the Bond franchise, starting the whole storyline again from scratch. We see Bond doing his first assassination mission, earning his licence to kill and struggling with the psychological and physical pressure of being 007. The film was a massive commercial success, and was considered by critics to be a genuinely fresh version of Bond. Daniel Craig was considered the best Bond since Connery, perhaps even better than him. Casting Craig was a bold move. He doesn’t really look like the classic image of Bond. He is blond and doesn’t have the same classically handsome features as Connery, Moore or Brosnan. However, he has intensity, a sense of vulnerability and a very striking physical presence. Casino Royale showed us more than ever that James Bond is a human being. He gets hurt both physically and emotionally. We care about him and feel his pain.

Daniel Craig’s second James Bond film, Quantam of Solace is a bit of a confusing mess. The storyline is very hard to follow. The action sequences are bewildering. There is very little character development and the whole film is littered with product placement. The film damaged a lot of the achievements of Casino Royale, so with the third film, Skyfall, the producers were keen to fix those problems and put the Bond franchise back on track.

The result is that the latest Bond film is a big success. It’s already being described as possibly the best Bond film we’ve ever had, and it’s likely to make more money than any other Bond movie in the past. Most of the boxes are ticked. The film has a complex, serious storyline, yet it is also a lot of fun. There are plenty of exciting action. The bad-guy (played by Javier Bardem) is ridiculous, insane and funny. The story is involving. The character development is detailed and interesting. The film also pays homage to previous Bond films, and even reveals some new details about Bond’s history. It’s not perfect of course. While watching it I couldn’t help thinking “this is completely ridiculous!” but then I realised that it was a James Bond film and it’s supposed to be ridiculous, and then I started to enjoy it a lot more. Certainly, in Skyfall, Bond has become something of a superhero. Although he gets hurt and is clearly getting a bit old for the job, he still manages to do things which are completely impossible in the real world, but that’s all right because this is James Bond!

Daniel Craig is still contracted to appear in two more Bond films, and to be honest after this one I can’t imagine where they will go next with the franchise. Isn’t Daniel Craig getting a bit old to play Bond now? How will they move the franchise forward when Bond has already been deconstructed in these modern films? How can they do anything new? Will they just remake Dr No or Goldfinger? Will the Bond films just go back to being silly and misogynistic? I’m already looking forward to seeing the next film, just in order to find out what they do next.

If you’ve seen Skyfall, leave a comment below to tell us what you thought. Otherwise, why don’t you tell us what you think of James Bond in general? Feel free to share your thoughts below and thanks for reading this (rather long) blog post. Bye for now!

Luke

Vocabulary in this episode

franchise (n) – a series of films which have become a range of trademarked products including books, merchandise, toys etc. Other examples of a franchise are the Harry Potter films, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings.
kicked off (v) – started
hallmarks (n) – very typical features of something which allow you to recognise it. E.g. the hallmarks of a James Bond movie are the locations, the bond-girls, the violence, the gadgets etc.
gadgets (n) – little items of technology which are useful for specific things. E.g. an iPod, or a pen which shoots arrows.
trade marks (n) – similar to ‘hallmarks’ (above), these are symbols or features which represent something, or which allow you to recognise something easily. E.g. the 007 logo we see on James Bond posters is a kind of trade mark for the James Bond franchise.
brute (n) – a violent person who behaves like an animal
flop (n) – a commercial failure
unconvincing (adj) – unrealistic, looks fake
vulnerable (adj) – able to be easily physically or emotionally hurt
three dimensional (adj) – 3D, with depth, not just flat
tone (n) – feeling, atmosphere
prone to (v) – likely to suffer from
formulaic (adj) – consisting of fixed or repeated ideas
camp (adj) – deliberately exaggerated and theatrical
contractual commitments (n) – obligations that have to be met because of a contract
a classically-trained actor (n) – an actor who trained in a theature using classical techniques
interpreted (v) – decided what the intended meaning of something is
praise (v) – the opposite of ‘criticise’, to say good things about something
lack of (n) – not enough of something
suave (adj) – charming, pleasant and attractive, possibly insincere, slightly negative
addressed (v) – dealt with
misogynist (n) – a man who hates women, or who believes that women are inferior to men
mixed (adj) – inconsistent; some good some bad
breathed new life into (v phrase) – refreshed, revitalised
rebooted (v) – restarted
(from) scratch (n) – (from) the beginning, the starting point
a bold move (n) – a courageous decision/action
striking (adj) – very unusual or easily noticed and therefore attracting a lot of attention
mess (n) – something very untidy and disorganised
bewildering (adj) – confusing
littered (adj) – made untidy because of many things covering it. E.g. “The floor was littered with dirty clothes.” “The movie is littered with product placement.”
product placement (n) – a kind of advertising which involves putting products into a movie so the audience will see them.
(put something back) on track (phrase) – to return something to the correct way, to make something go back in the right direction again. E.g. “After a few problems, the project is now back on track.”
pays homage to (verb phrase) – to make reference to something as a way of showing respect to it. E.g. when a film makes a reference to a previous film.
contracted (adj) – obliged by contract
deconstructed (v) – to analyse something by taking it apart and looking at the elements that it is made of.

STEVE COOGAN AND ROB BRYDON “Come come Mr Bond…”

107. Messing Around with Accents and Voices (with Kate Fisher)

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Improve your understanding of different accents in English, and have fun listening to Kate and me just playing around with different voices.

Right-click here to download this episode.

Introduction
Have you ever wanted to know how to talk like an American cowboy? (Well of course) Do you know the difference between someone from the north or south of England? Can you recognise accents from Scotland, Belfast and Dublin? What about accents from Australia or New Zealand? Listen to this episode to find out more.

In this episode I am joined by my friend Kate Fisher, who is also an English teacher. Kate and I both love talking in different accents and having fun with voices and characters. So in this episode you can listen to Kate and me doing just that. The main idea is for Kate and me to explore the way different accents sound. We don’t claim to be perfect at all these different accents, it is just fun to try messing around with them, and talking about how the different accents sound to us. Some of these voices we do are not really ‘accents’ as such, but rather types of character that we might have heard in movies or TV shows (e.g. the way cowboys in western movies speak). Listening to this episode is a great way for you to get used to hearing and noticing different accents from around the world.

This episode is another fast one. Kate and I speak completely naturally in lots of different voices. It might be difficult to understand, but don’t forget that I am a fully qualified and well experienced teacher of English and I know what I’m doing! The episode may be quite chaotic when you listen for the first time but listen to the episode several times and you will understand and enjoy it more and more. It’s listening to music. You might not get it the first time, but the more you listen the more you get to know it, and the more you understand and appreciate it. I strongly suggest you try to copy different accents too. This will really raise your awareness of the sounds of different accents in English, and it can be really great fun.

Accents, Voices & Characters
In this episode we talk about (and copy) these accents: (No offence is intended in this episode at all)
-‘Cowboy’
-Standard American
-Yorkshire and Lancashire (North of England)
-Lincolnshire (North/Midlands)
-North and South of England
-South West of England (Bath)
-The voice a buffalo might have (if it could speak English)
-The voice an oak tree might have (again, if it could speak English)
-Some Scottish accents
-Northern Ireland
-Republic of Ireland (Dublin I think)
-Cockney
-Australian
-New Zealand (Kiwi)
I have many more accents and voices which we didn’t talk about in this episode, so there may be more episodes like this in the future.

Please leave your comments and thoughts below, and again thanks for listening to Luke’s English Podcast. If you are American, Irish, Scottish, Kiwi, Aussie, a cowboy, a buffalo or an oak tree, I hope you don’t get offended by this episode at all, and that you realise that Kate and I are just having fun and that we love all your accents very much. As they say, “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” and I believe it is true.

Best wishes,
Luke

81. What Makes a Great Teacher?

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Right-click here to download this audio.
This is a guest post written by Lori Hutchison from www.mastersinteaching.net. I’m sure you’ll agree it is a very interesting article. Thank you Lori! If you’re interested in training to become a teacher, please visit her page for more information (see link at the bottom of this document.) Expect an episode of Luke’s English Podcast on this topic in the near future.

Five Common Characteristics of Highly Effective Teachers
Throughout the years, there have been teachers who have made history for their unique teaching styles, their intelligence and their ability to change people’s perspectives on education. Famous teachers in history (like Confucius, Friedrich Froebel and Maya Angelou) may all come from different times and different parts of the world, but they all have some common characteristics.

These common characteristics are what make them such great teachers and guides. Although particular traits do not guarantee that someone will be a great teacher, they do provide a supporting foundation. Listed below are the five common characteristics of highly effective teachers:

1. A passionate approach: No matter what the technique or method, a teacher must fully believe in their teaching philosophy. If a teacher is only teaching by the book and not from the heart, it will be much more difficult to get through to students. Some subjects do not seem important or fun to learn, but good teachers know how to turn “boring” topics into extraordinary topics. They are always trying to spark interest in the minds of their students and create that “eureka!” moment.

2. A strong position on classroom organization and discipline: Any teacher increases their students’ chances for success when they manage their classroom in an organized manner. In addition, great teachers verbalize to their students exactly what they expect from them in terms of academics and behavior. Great teachers also have a well-defined position on classroom discipline and practice a firm yet gentle approach to student correction. They are also fair and treat all students equally.

3. Attentiveness: Great teachers know how to read their students’ body language. They recognize when a student is struggling with a particular subject or personal problem, and they always do what they can to help their students find solutions to their struggles. Great teachers truly care about their students’ success, and they know that the likelihood for success increases when the teacher pays great attention to the student’s progression.

4. The ability to empathize: In addition to constant attention to their students’ progression, great teachers also practice empathy. Because everyone struggles at some point, teachers need the ability to stop, listen and understand a student’s academic or personal roadblock. More important than understanding, though, great teachers know how to build up their students’ confidence and realize their potential. They also have the ability to recognize when a particular teaching method is not working for a student and can change the approach to fit the student’s particular learning needs.

5. Patience: When it comes to teaching and learning, great teachers have an unlimited capacity for perseverance and composure. They understand that every student learns at a different rate and through different means, and they are willing to work until all understand.

All of the above characteristics can be learned and practiced by every teacher interested in becoming better at their profession. However, one should not fret if they have a difficult time making these characteristics habit. Perhaps the most important feature of a great teacher is being an upstanding citizen and good role model for youth.

Lori Hutchison teaches high school English and owns the site Masters in Teaching. In her spare time, she enjoys writing guest blog posts about various topics of interest; especially teaching!

77. Bear vs Shark

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Who would win in a fight between a bear and a shark? This episode is full of descriptive language and funny moments.

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Obviously, this is just a virtual fight, not a real one. It’s just a funny topic of conversation, and a light-hearted topic for this episode of Luke’s English Podcast.

In this episode you will listen to:
1. A stand-up comedian from Canada (Tony Law) talking about a fight between a bear and a shark
2. I will explain vocabulary and jokes that Tony Law makes
3. You’ll listen to some expert opinions on who would win the fight

So, let’s think about this fight between a big bear and a dangerous shark. How would you organise the fight? Where would you do it? which animal is the strongest? How would the bear manage to grab the shark? Would it bite it or hit it with its paws? Would the bear be able to swim in the water? Wouldn’t it just want to escape? How about the shark? Would it be able to swim in shallow water? How many times would it need to bite the bear? Wouldn’t the two animals just try to escape? WHAT THE HELL WOULD HAPPEN???

This episode is just a bit of fun! Obviously, I hope no-one really tries to do organise a fight between two animals. It’s just a VIRTUAL fight, not a REAL one!

Transcript – Tony Law (Bear vs shark)
Now, another fun thing to do if you’ve got the money and you’ve got the time it’s well worth your while if you could organise yourself a fight between a black bear and a shark. Now, what you’re gonna need to get started up is a shallow little wading pool, ok? Now, any old wading pool will do but i prefer one with aluminum siding, or aluminium if you will. And most of you do.
Get that nice and set up. Now, this is important, make sure you put sand bags around the outside of it because you’re going to put a lot of weight in there okay? All right.
Now, some of you are ahead of me. You’re thinking, you’re saying Tone we’re going to need to fill that up with water aren’t we? Yes we are. So you introduce your garden hose or weirdly long tap, I don’t know your homes. I don’t know how much you like DIY. So, so you get that nice and full of water and now you want to, you’re going to want to introduce your shark, aren’t you? Yeah, of course, yeah. So, now you’re going to need a buddy for this. Always buddy up because sharks, they’re heavy aren’t they. So you get your shark and bring him in, right, because I use a tiger shark for this, they’re just, they’re more bitey. They’re more bitey and it helps the process along.
So you put him in there, let him acclimatise himself. Now that won’t take very long because that’s a small pool, and he’s a big fish, isn’t he? So, get him in there, right, let him acclimatise himself, right. And then you go into the house and you get your paints. Oil paints are the best for this. And you come out and you paint that shark up to look like a salmon.
“You know honey, we should do more dangerous art! -I know!” Now you’re going to want to introduce your black bear, right? Listen, hey, once you’ve done it my way once, you can change it up. Use any kind of bear you want. Polar bear, grizzly. First time, try it with a black bear, okay? So you bring in your black bear. He’s a bear isn’t he, and he’s going to look down and that’s definitely going to be the largest salmon he’s ever seen in his life. It’s not going to stop him, he’s just going to go “Oh, all my bear Christmases have come at once”. He’s going to look down and he’s just going to go “Mmmm, that’s a big motherfuckin’ salmon right there. Shit! I’m gonna eat that fuckin’ salmon right up! Mmm, that is a tasty looking big motherfuckin’ salmon there. I said what I said. MMM, I’m gonna eat that salmon up because I built up an appetite, with the ladies, mmm. ”
Now listen, you get your black bear from anywhere in the world, you don’t need to make his voice quite so racist. Smarten up! You know, be more xenophobic about it. Get yourself a Russian bear, “Oh boy look at the size of that salmon I can’t wait to eat it”. You know, or a Polish bear, “Oh boy I sound exactly like Russian bear. I can’t wait to eat it.” You know, or get yourself a Chinese bear… I’m not going there am I? [I’m not going to do that accent] Doesn’t matter how good you think your Chinese voice is, it isn’t. It never is, is it? I mean there’s some accents you just stay away from, aren’t there? You know, like Chinese and all of it’s affiliates. Ooh, don’t go there. Those aren’t for you, unless you’re Chinese or, you know, someone in your family is Chinese. You know, then knock yourself out. Same thing, Indian sub-continent. Ooh, danger lurks there. Don’t do those accents. Unless you’re indian, you know, or your parents are, I don’t know. We’ve all got a white friend who’s done his Indian accent, haven’t we, at some point in your life. It’s never worked out has it? Artistically or morally. It’s [always] like “oh, he’s doing the voice, ohhh.” Starts out in Trinidad & Tobago, moves over to Wales for a bit, and fucks off up to Sunderland for a while. Ohh, while everyone feels a bit dirty, and needing a bath. Ohh, but you don’t say anything do you? He won’t learn, will he? If you say something, he’ll never learn. He’ll only learn by everyone going “mmmmmm”.
But he just sees it and he goes straight in with that left paw doesn’t he? Ah, big mistake black bear. ARR! Pulls back a stump. That’s not going to heal in a hurry. But like I said, brave, noble creature and he things “I’ve got one good paw left. I’m going in”. Second mistake black bear, Ahh! Pulls back a stump. Now he’s fucked isn’t he? Now we’ve got a black bear with no front paws. He’s losing a lot of blood but luckily he spent some time in the Moscow state circus so he can balance on his hind two feet, and if there’s a little kiddies bicycle around he can probably just wheel around on that too. He’s not going to have the glorious victory he was hoping for now. Now he’s gotta like do little nips in the shark’s ass. Just little nips. Little nips. And I wish there was an exciting way for that to finish but it takes about eight hours for the shark to bleed to death.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=draZQ2upJZ0&w=480&h=360]

Expert Opinion
Here is the expert opinion from www.en.allexperts.com
Wild Animals/Great White Shark vs Grizzly Bear Expert: Jonathan Wright – 8/3/2005
Question About 50 of my friends and I have been debating whether a Great White Shark or Grizzly Bear would win in a fight in 4-6 feet of water for about a year now. It always comes up at bars or trips, etc. Perhaps an expert like yourself could provide some insight or facts about which we could further debate this issue. Of course, we would all also love to hear your opinion on which animal would win. Thanks in advance.

Get the answer below
Answer:

Dear Justin
Thanks for your question. I must admit that it would be extremely unlikely for a grizzly bear to come into contact with a great white shark. Generally speaking, animals do not tend to have fights with members of other species. If an animal is not a potential prey, there is little reason to waste any time on it. I think that the bear and shark would try to avoid one another, rather than launching into a fight. If the bear could escape onto land, or the shark into deeper water, they would do so.

I have looked up various websites. Several people have discussed the outcome of a fight between a bear and shark and there are supporters on both sides. There is even a cartoon of a brown bear holding a shark aloft.
http://myoldkyhome.blogspot.com/2005/06/bear-vs-shark.html states that if the bear couldn’t stand up, it would lose in water.
http://www.cordmag.com/002may2004/tenquestionsshins.html also thinks the shark would win, as the bear’s claws couldn’t get hold of the shark. http://www.ambrosiasw.com/forums/lofiversion/index.php/t95776.html gives various ideas about the fight.

One correspondent states that a shark wouldn’t have a big enough mouth to swallow a bear in shallow water. Some correspondents favour the bear, because of its teeth, jaws and claws. The bear can move its claws and mouth independently from the rest of the body. One suggestion is that if the bear got on top of the shark and held on, it could scoop out its brain, using a massive swipe of a claw; a counter-argument is that this isn’t normal bear behaviour. One correspondent thinks a grizzly bear would have enough strength to beat a mako shark in shallow water, with blunt force blows crushing the shark. The bear is also a good enough swimmer to have some chance of beating a shark in shallow water.

Other correspondents favour the shark, which is bigger, heavier, faster and stronger in water than the bear is. It could use its great jaw strength and biting power to sever the bear’s limb, leading to the bear dying from blood loss. It also has tough skin, covered with sharp scales. The bear couldn’t survive the shark’s initial assault. http://www.yptenc.org.uk/docs/factsheets/animal_facts/great_white_shark.html mentions details of a shark attack. As it opens its mouth to attack, it raises its flexible snout out of the way and the jaws, which are loosely attached to the skull, are pushed out as the mouth opens which puts the teeth into the biting position. There is immense power behind the jaws and the teeth are adapted for shearing or sawing flesh as a shark clamps its jaws on its victim and throws its head from side to side until a mouthful is torn from the body. A modest-sized 4.8 metre (16 foot) great white shark can bite with a pressure of 3 tonnes per square centimetre, and will tear out a chunk of flesh measuring 28 by 33 centimetres. Sharks usually catch weakly and sick animals, so would be unlikely to attack a healthy bear. It may attack in shallow water, rushing in before a victim realises what is going on.
http://www.newenglandsharks.com/N.ENG.%20whites.htm states that white sharks are often found in shallow water and seem to prefer eating marine mammals instead of fish, especially if the prey is found close to shore. In your scenario, the depth of the water is important, also whether the animals are trapped in the pool or whether they can escape. Generally speaking, the bear would win if a fight took place on land, while the shark would probably win if the fight took place in deep water. A fight in shallow water could go either way, although the bear would try to escape onto land, if possible. It would only be able to swim for a limited period of time and would be in danger of drowning if the shark dragged it under the water. The bear could hit the shark on the nose (if it thought this was a good idea), but otherwise the shark is a tougher animal and, I think, would be more likely to win. There is a strong possibility, though, of a double death, with the bear drowning and the shark suffocating;
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=521266 states that a shark slowly suffocates unless there is a stream of water over the gills.

Looking at all the evidence, I think that the shark is more likely to win if the fight can only take place in water i.e. if the bear cannot drag the shark onto land. I think that, if land were available, the bear wouldn’t enter the water in the first place, or would try to escape from the water as soon as possible. A great white shark is a totally different issue compared to a salmon. While the bear could use its claws to punch the shark’s nose or gouge out flesh, the shark’s teeth are more powerful and, if either animal lost any of their teeth, the shark has lots of spare sets, while if an adult bear loses its teeth, these are lost for ever. The strength, biting power and speed of the shark in water would probably give it an advantage against the bear in most situations. While the bear could win, and does have many supporters in this prospective fight, I think that the shark is more likely to be the victor. I only hope that this fight is only done on a virtual level and isn’t staged for the amusement of bloodthirsty people. I hope this helps you and your colleagues. All the best.
Jonathan

Questioner’s Rating Rating(1-10) Knowledgeability = 10 Clarity of Response = 10 Politeness = 10 Comment Thanks a ton, it was the best help I could get!

76. Mind The Gap – How to use the London Underground (with Oli & Pasquale)

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In this episode you’ll listen to a conversation between me, my cousin Oli and our friend Pasquale from Canada. We give some useful advice for using the tube, and have a good laugh at the same time.

Right-click here to download the episode.
How to use this episode to improve your English
You should:
Try to follow the conversation between 3 native speakers
Notice any differences in accent (Oli and I are from London, Pasquale is originally from Montreal in Canada)
Try to notice specific bits of language, phrases, expressions which are used.
There’s a lot of humour in the conversation – do you find it funny? Why? Why not?

If you like, you can transcribe some parts of the conversation. You’ll find this really focusses your listening and allows you to pick up phrases, vocabulary and features of pronunciation more effectively.

Advice for using the Tube
Here is a summary of the advice given in the episode:
1. Keep moving! Don’t stop! Don’t hold up the passengers behind you. Don’t block the corridors or the platforms.
2. Top up your Oyster card before you travel. Don’t waste time searching through your pockets or your handbag (ladies!)
3. Stand on the right of the escalators. Let people walk past on the left.
4. When you reach the platform, move down to the end.
5. If the platform is crowded, stand near the platform exit – more people will get off the train there and it will be easier to find space in the carriage.
6. To get on the train first you need to find out where the doors will stop. Do this by looking at the yellow line on the platform. Find the places where the paint is worn down and then wait there. The paint gets worn away by people who step off the train onto the yellow line. Where the paint is worn down is where the doors will stop!
7. Let other people get off the train first.
8. When you get on, move down inside the carriage. Don’t be shy!
9. If you’re wearing a back-pack or a rucksack, take it off. It will use up too much space.
10. Take care of your personal hygiene. Use some deodorant so you don’t smell of BO (body odour)
11. Give up your seat for elderly, disabled, injured or pregnant passengers.
12. Don’t talk too loudly or be anti-social
13. Don’t play your music too loud
14. Don’t feel you need to talk to everyone. People don’t want to be disturbed. They just want to get from A to B.
15. Chill out and read a book!

That’s it. Enjoy! Any questions, email me: luketeacher@hotmail.com

Your donations make this podcast possible. Feel free to donate any amount you consider appropriate.

Transcript for the introduction to “Mind the Gap – The London Underground”

Mind the Gap, Ladies and Gentleman, because this episode is all about the London Underground and in this episode you’re going to listen to a conversation between me, my cousin Oliver and our friend Pasquale as we talk about using the London Underground and giving you some particularly good, and very useful advice on exactly how you should use the Underground effectively.

Now in London basically there are two …, well, there is about 7 million people living in London, and as well as that we get millions of tourists visiting the city every year. Particularly next year 2012, because of the Olympic Games, there will be an estimated, something like, something ridiculous, like another 6 million people are gonna come to the city, so we thought, it would be very important to give some advice, share some tips on how you should use the Underground to make sure it doesn’t get blocked and it doesn’t get too crowded.

Now, for like Londoners, for people, who live in London, there are basically two types of tourist, now: on one hand you’ve got the bad tourists, now these are the ones, who come to the city in large numbers, and they don’t know how to operate, they don’t know, they don’t realise, that they are visiting a city, which is full of people, who need to get from A to B as quickly as possible, because they need to do their job, right, so these tourists: they come, because they are on holiday, they don’t realize and they just come, and they might, for example, just stand around on the street in large groups, just blocking the street, or they would get into the underground system, and just, sort of stop in a passage way and look at their tourist maps, because they are trying to work out where to go, and all of the time, they’re just blocking people, getting in the way, making life difficult for the ordinary Londoners who have to get from A to B in order to do their work, right? So that’s the bad tourists, those are the ones that are just, sort of like, standing around in the street, just going: ‘oh, la, la, la la la, I’m just having a lovely holiday’ and meanwhile, the rest of London gets blocked behind them.

Then, on the other hand you’ve got the good tourists, and these are the ones, who kind of do a little bit of research before they come to the city and they realize, they’re not just going on a holiday to a city, but they also becoming part of a very complicated system of people moving around, right, and they realize that really to appreciate the city properly, they’ve got to sort of think about using the Underground system or the buses or whatever, they’ve just got to think about moving around as if they were real Londoners, so they realize that they’re in a city, which is full of people moving around and they just keep cool, they go to the cool places and they don’t get in the way too much and they see what London is really like, rather than just living in some sort of dreamworld holiday, kinda thing, right.

So now in this episode, hopefully, you’ll get some advice which will allow you to be one of those good tourists, one of those cool tourists. I don’t know maybe you already live in London, maybe you’re learning English here and you live here in London, in which case you probably use the Underground every day and so you should definitely follow this advice, it will really help you, and, or maybe you’re not even learning English, maybe you’re just like a teacher of English or just someone who enjoys listening to this podcast and maybe you live in London too, well you use the Underground as well so why don’t you listen to this as well? And use it to kind of, you know, give you a few ideas of maybe how you can get on that crowded train that you keep missing, or how you can just get a seat if you usually can’t find a seat. There’s an art in using the underground, and you’re going to learn about it in this episode.

Now, let me just give you a few facts about the London underground, well, basically there’re, as I said, more than 7 millions residents in London, everyday millions of people use the Underground, it’s the oldest Underground railway in the world, it was first opened in 1890. Londoners called it ‘the Tube’, or ‘the Tube’ (different pronunciation), that’s because the shape of the tunnels is a bit like a tube. I call it ‘the Tube’, right, or the Underground In France in Paris, they call it ‘the Metro’, that’s the Paris metro, is their underground system, in New York the underground system is called ‘the Subway’, and then here in London it’s called the Underground or the Tube. And it’s an international icon for London, you probably know that the logo for the London underground is blue circle with the red horizontal line, you probably know, the London underground map, because that’s also a kind of cultural icon, which represents London. It’s a design classic-the London underground map, and it was developed with many different stages and it’s now very famous, the London underground map. There’re 270 stations on the underground, and 402km of track. Each year more than 1 billion individual journeys are made, it’s the 3rd biggest metro system in Europe, after Moscow and Paris, and it’s the 2nd biggest, sorry, it’s the 3rd busiest metro system in Europe, after Moscow and Paris, and it’s the 2nd biggest metro system in the world after Shanghai.

So, what else can I tell you about this episode, well, you’re going to get some advice, like I said. The conversation, you’re going to hear, is between me and my cousin Oli (Oliver). Now Oli is a very, very close friend of mine and my cousin, we are basically the same age, he is 2 years older, no, he is 2 weeks older than me, Pasquale is a friend of both of ours, and he is from Montreal in Canada, but he’s been living in London for 3 years. Now Oli has been using the underground to get to work every day for 10 years. Everyday he spends 2 hours on the underground, that’s one hour to get to work and one hour to get back. Two hours every day for 10 years, that pretty much makes him a kind of an expert on the London underground, in my opinion. He knows all the secrets, he knows how to get a seat, he knows the best ways to make sure that you don’t block the corridors and that you can find the exit points easily. He’s a master of using the Underground; he’s got some very advanced tips to give you. Pasquale has been living in London for 3 years, even though, originally he is from Canada, you’ll be able to hear his Canadian accent, in fact. But he’s been living in London for 3 years, he doesn’t really like using the Underground, because he thinks it’s too crowded, and it’s not very healthy, he prefers to cycle, which is even more dangerous in my opinion. If you cycle on the streets of London, you’ve got to be some sort of crazy adrenaline junkie or something, but, I guess, that’s what he likes to do. It gets him from A to B, so you’re going to listen to us talking.

Now, the conversation is pretty quick, because there’s 3 of us, and so we give bits of advice. Now I thought I’d summarize the advice for you, just to make it useful, so you can just hear the advice basically from me now, and the you can listen to the conversation and enjoy it, and you’ll know basically what we are talking about. So it should help you to understand the conversation. Let me just summarize the advice now.

Now, this advice really comes from Oli, because he’s the heavy user of the underground, right. He says 1st thing: you’ve got to keep moving, don’t stop, OK? Keep moving, so when you get to the gate you must have your oyster card ready. An oyster card is an electronic ticket, and you can top up the oyster card with credit, so you put money on it, before you travel, and then, when you go through the gates you beep your oyster card: beep, like that on a sensor. You beep it and that automatically takes some credit away from your card, OK, so you don’t need to keep paying for a ticket every time you travel. You top up at the beginning of the week and then you just beep in and beep out, so you must have your oyster card ready, don’t sort of, don’t block everyone by going through your pockets, trying to find your oyster card. Women, get your oyster card ready, because there’s nothing more time consuming than waiting for you to find your oyster card in your handbag, because we know that a handbag is a bit like a, it’s like the Tardis, you know, from Doctor Who, it’s, they look small, but inside there’s massive amount of space. So get your oyster card out of your handbag, before you get to the gate. Then you won’t block everyone, you won’t waste time that way, OK? Next thing, when you’re using the escalators, the escalators, by the way are those electronic stairs, the stairs, that kind of automatically take you down or up the escalators. When you’re using the escalators in London, you must stand on the right, and let passengers walk past you, on the left. It’s one of the worst things, that tourists do, the thing that annoys Londoners the most. It’s when tourists get onto the escalator, and they just stop. They stand in the middle and they block it and people can’t get past.

So if you’re lazy and you don’t wanna walk up or down the escalator you must make sure you’re standing on the right, and that there’s enough space on the left. So stand on the right of the escalator. When you reach the station platform, don’t stop there, oh, no, no, no. You must keep moving. Move down the platform. The same goes, when you get onto the train. Don’t just stop when you get onto the train, you must move down inside the car, move down inside the carriage, because you’ve got to remember, there’s million Londoners behind you, who wanna get on that train, so you must make space. Don’t be shy, move down inside the carriage, right? Now, here is some tips for getting on the train, when it’s really crowded. Now these are some advanced level tips. And Oliver will tell you more about them during the conversation you’re going listen to. So here’s one tip: you should find the exit from the platform and stand there. Because when the train comes in, all of the clever travellers will have got onto that car near where the exit will be. And they will all exit the train at that point, and then you’ll just stand to one side, let them all exit and then you can slip into the train. And there is going definitely be space, because everyone got off near the exit right? That’s some pretty clever advanced level stuff. The other thing is:how do you know where the doors will stop? It’s difficult to know where the doors will stop. In Japan there’re markings on the platform, that tell you exactly, where the doors will stop. That’s not the case in London. So how do you know where the doors will stop? The one thing you could do is look at the yellow line. There’s one yellow line on the platform that you should stand behind so that you’re safe. Look at that yellow line and where the paint has worn down, where the pant has worn down, you’ll know that’s when the doors open. People get off the train there and they step on the yellow line and they wear down the paint. Then you know if you can see that the paint has been worn down, you know that’s where the doors are gonna open. So you stand there. Clever, isn’t? Clever stuff. Stand near where the paint has been worn away, coz that’s where the doors will be. Then the doors will open, right, near you, you let people get off first, then you can get on the train. Bingo! You’ve got a seat, you can relax, you can chill out, you can read a book, or you just chill, whatever you wanna do, right? Because you’ve managed to find that most coveted prize on the London Underground. And that’s a seat Ladies and Gentleman, that’s right. So next thing, that you’re gonna hear about is etiquette. Now etiquette basically means things that you should do or things you shouldn’t do in a social situation. Etiquette, right. So let’s see etiquette when you get…,err, etiquette, let’s see, etiquette you should get out of the way. So if you’re gonna stop on the platform, make sure you get out of the way, so you can let people pass. It’s common sense really. Next thing is, when the train stops and the doors open let the passengers off the train first, allow, give them space to get off that train and I know there’s 100 people on the platform and they all want to get onto the train. They all wanna get a seat, but you still got to be polite, you must make space. Let the passengers off the train first and then get on and then move down inside the carriage, right? Now, if you’re wearing a backpack, wearing a rucksack, a big bag on your back, you should take that off, because otherwise you’re going to use up a lot of space. Take the bag off your back, put it down by your feet. It creates more space. When you’re…, you must pay attention to your personal hygiene. That’s basically, you’re got to be, try stay clean, coz it’s horrible, if there’s BO. Do you know what BO means? Well, it’s body odour, right? BO. BO can be horrible on the Underground. If you’re trapped next to a guy, who’s got a BO, oh, it can make you feel really sick. It can destroy your day and put you in a really bad mood. So before you get on the Underground, check the BO situation, OK? Make sure you’re using some nice deodorant, yeah? Keep yourself clean (laugh).
Next thing, don’t listen to music too loud on your iPod, right, because otherwise you’ll distract and irritate the other passengers. So there’s nothing more annoying that (imitated techno music sounds) throughout your journey. It’s just really annoying. Secondly, if you’ve got a mobile phone that plays music, use some headphones. Don’t just play the music out loud; no one cares about your music. So use some headphones and don’t play the music too loud, OK? Don’t eat smelly food, that’s disgusting. Don’t go onto the…, err, don’t take your McDonald’s onto the train, unless you have to, unless you’re dying of hunger or something. Don’t bring the McDonald’s, or the pizza or the kebab onto the train, it’s disgusting, right? Eat first, travel second, something like that. Some kind of a rule there. Don’t bring smelly food onto the Underground. If you see an elderly person, an old person, if you see a disabled person, an injured person or a pregnant woman. You’re very unlikely to see a pregnant man, so don’t worry about that. So a pregnant woman, a pregnant person. If you see any of those things, please consider giving up your seat for that person. That’s just politeness and it’s also one of the rules of etiquette on the Underground. If you don’t give up your seat, you’re gonna look like a nasty, horrible person. And there’s nothing, nothing worse than being a nasty, horrible person, is there? Oh, no. There isn’t. So give up your seat to elderly, injured, disabled or pregnant people.
Don’t talk too loudly, don’t shout on the Underground. It’s not a social club. Keep it, keep it peaceful, if you can. Or you’ll Stuck it on, one of these trains underground, it’s not the most fantastic experience, don’t spoil it by shouting across the train at your friends. It’s just antisocial. Be a bit, be a bit considerate. OK? So: no antisocial behaviour. That’s pretty much it, that’s pretty much the…, pretty much the basic advice that we give. Now you could listen to the conversation between me and Oli, and Pasquale. And enjoy it. Do enjoy the conversation. And you’ll be able to listen to more episodes from ‘Luke’s English Podcast’ very soon. That’s it. Enjoy the conversation. Bye.
Mind the Gap. OK, let me start then by introducing my two guests here on the podcast today. To my right I have Mr Oliver Thompson.
– Hello
– Hello Oliver and Oliver is my cousin, is that true?
– That’s correct. My father is your father’s brother.
– My father is…. No, your father is my father’s brother?
– Yes.
– That’s not confusing at all, is it?
– No.
– So my Dad and his Dad are brothers, which pretty much makes us cousins. It does in fact.
– First cousins.
– First cousins exactly. And to my left I have Mr Pasquale Tro…., right?
– That sounds good.
– And so Pasquale. Where are you from exactly, in fact.
– I’m originally from Montreal, Canada. And I’ve been living in London for last three years now.
– OK. Right. I see. How’s London?
– Hmm, its amazing. I don’t know its difficult to sum up in a few words, but it’s a very busy city, it’s got lots of people, and lots of activities and I don’t know it’s up there in terms of cool things, cool places to live. Definitely
-Yeah, it’s one of the cool… No, lets face it, it’s one of the best places in the world.
– On planet Earth.
– Well, no. Just in the universe.
– In the universe.
– Yeah, better than. I mean apparently some of the planets that orbit Jupiter are pretty good, but I think none of them really compares to …
– Capital city like London.
– West London, specifically.
– Yeah.
– It’s better than everywhere else. So I thought that we would today talk about travelling around London because Oliver first of all, I know that you travel in the Underground a lot.
– I do.I’ve spent for the last 6 years. I’ve spent 2 hours a day on the London Underground. And I’ve got to know it very well indeed. And I have some top tips how to navigate and some etiquette about how one should behave on the London Underground.
– Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. So I thought then we could just share those tips and look at, exactly what it’s really like travelling on the Underground. Pasquale, do you use the Underground much?
– Actually, I try to avoid it as much as possible, to be honest. But I do have some tips as well.
-Yeah?
– Mainly: don’t use it.
-Really? Why? How come?
– Well, I have to say, it’s really hot, there’s too many people on it and it breaks down a lot.
-Yeah?
– So you know, so instead I cycle.
– Right.
– Which means I save a lot of money too.
– Can you read when you’re cycling?
– No, coz you’ve got to concentrate so you don’t get run over by London’s crazy drivers.
– London’s buses, the other public transport.
– Yeah.
-Yeah, that’s right.
– But the best tip I have for cyclist would be for them to take up the entire lane. So that buses or vehicles can’t squeeze by you.
– How do you take up the entire lane on the bike?
– Just ride in the middle of the lane. And if they honk at you, tough.
– Like, so if you get (honking sound) then you kind of go like: So what? What are you going to do: run me over?
– Yeah, especially, in the best parts when they’re honking at you, and they’re rushing to get somewhere, right?
-Yeah.
– But they’re just rushing to the queue of the traffic, so when they have to stop and wait at the traffic light, because it’s already traffic. That’s when you stop and you have to ask them: where are you rushing to? This spot right here, where you have to actually stop, can actually consume more gas. That’s when you flip them the bird and cycle away.
– Flip them the bird? What do you mean?
– Oh, that means giving them the middle finger.
– You give them your middle finger?
– No, as like a gesture.
– Right.
– Like you show them your hand and then you fold away all your fingers except for the middle one.
– Right, and that’s …
– That’s flipping the bird.
– Right you’re giving the bird sometimes
– Giving the bird.
– Giving the bird, yeah.
– Showing the bird.
– It’s an international gesture I think.
– I think yeah.
– I think it’s rude, I think it’s pretty much everywhere.
– Yes, certainly is, yeah.
– But you have to be able… The one thing, though, is you just don’t do it to anybody.
– Right. Who should you do it to?
– Old people coz you can get away from them faster.
– Children.
– Bus drivers coz they can’t get out of their cage.
– I don’t know, I’ve seen bus drivers get out of their little bus driver cage.
– Really?
– Yeah. They can leap out of those cages pretty quickly.
– They can flip everybody, every bus driver is basically on the edge.
– Yeah. Oh, who’s telephone is that? That’s my telephone, isn’t it?
– It’s your friend- Emina.
– It’s Emina calling me. OK. I’m gonna have to pause the podcast. Pause.
– OK, so we’re back. I paused the podcast, but if you’re listening you couldn’t have noticed. It’s the magic of editing. So then, can I just, maybe, we’ll just start again in a way coz we got caught up in a …tangent, didn’t we? So
– We went over-ground. That’s what happened.
– We did. We got lost on a bicycle. So Oliver, just let us know again how often do you use the Underground?
– So, I use, I live in Tooting which is where the Northern line in the south London and I have to travel to White City, which is on the Central line in West London. So I have to use the Northern Line and Victoria Line and the Central Line everyday . And that’s a journey of about 45 mins on a very good day. On a bad day, it could be hours, it could take all day.
– Right, and you work at the BBC, don’t you?
– I work at the BBC yeah, that’s right.
– I thought I’d add that. It sounds good.
– Give you some kind of credibility.
– Yeah, that,s right. And you Pasquale work at the BBC, too, don’t you?
– I just happen to yes.
– Wow, so two genuine actual BBC people on a free podcast.
– That’s right. That’s value for money.
– It is. It’s definitely.
– That’s your license fee and a little bit extra.
– That’s right. Pasquale you don’t use the Underground very often.
– No, I really try to avoid it actually. I’m lucky though. I work in White City as well and I live in the West London in Fulham by Chelsea stadium, the Old Stanford Bridge. So, because I live in West London I choose to cycle, which means a 20-minute cycle ride as opposed to an hour on a Tube of Death.
– But the cycling can be quite …
– The vessel of contagion?
– Right vessel of contagion
– The lymphatic cancer of, yes
– Of London
– Yes
– So you’re not a fan of the Underground
– No, but I have to con… with it so I have some tips on my own.
– Ok so lets focus on those tips, shall we?
– Ok
– So we’re going, in this podcast, you’re going to listen to us basically giving you some very important advice on how to use the Underground effectively, and how to not only survive your journey, but maybe enjoy it a little bit too.
– That’s right. This could be the key to your, to enjoying your London experience.
– Ok.
– Conquer the transport and you conquer the London.
– Ok, can I just also add here that we’re eating chocolate while recording this podcast. It’s probably not such a good idea to eat, to talk with your mouth full.
– True
– That’s not a coincidence, is it?
– You’re not supposed to talk with your mouth full in England, no.
– But that’s the beauty of radio
– Why?
– Coz you can’t see
– Yeah but you can certainly hear, it sounds like talking, like this: yeah(breaking a piece of choc off), well (munch) what I think, obviously, using the Underground.that’s not necessarily going to sounds good, is it?
– An excuse to eat some chocolate.
– You know what I am going to do?
– Take it away
– I’m going to take the chocolate away here.
– No.
– Its your fault, you brought it.
– I brought it in as a gift, but I’m taking that gift away from you now. You can have more chocolate when we finish. Right as like a…
– Like a dog, do your trick
– Yeah, yeah
– You’ll reward me with chocolate.
– I’ll give you a chocolate reward when it’s finished.
– Ok
– Right, so. Let’s just start by listing some bits of advice. So Oliver
– So some key advice: there’s two ticket option on the London Underground, so you can either have a paper ticket which you buy in the station and that takes time, you’re going to slot it into a little ticket hole in the gate and collect it at the other side and it holds up the flow with the passengers. So what you should do is buy an Oyster card, which is a plastic card and all you have to do is touch it at the gate and the gate is open. But before you get to the station, there’s two things you should do: you should make sure that you’ve got some money on your Oyster card, you can top up online and add money to your account, to your Oyster card account. And also make sure you’ve got it out of your pocket before you get to the gate, because otherwise you’ll get to the gate and you’ll have a queue of people behind you just crushing you slowly at the gate, as you’re trying to get out your Oyster card out of your pocket.
– Right, so yeah, go on.
– I don’t wanna be sexist but this particularly applies to women, who can spend 3 or 4 hrs going through their handbag, looking for their Oyster card at the gate, I’ve found.
– so can I just briefly summarize what you’ve just said? It might be useful to people listening to this, right? So we got two ways to buy the tickets: one os to buy paper ticket, one is to buy; paper ticket is a bit old fashioned now, isn’t it?
– It is.

67. Cockney / London Accent

23 Replies

Listen to an interview with Ray Winstone who is a genuine Londoner with a ‘cockney’ accent. Pick up some new expressions and learn how to recognise a London accent.

Right-click here to download.

Tapescript of the interview:
Alright, I remember going on a date once, years ago, with a girl, a really good girl and I knew her brother and everything, right. And, I picked her up. And as I went to pick her up, I walked into the… this is a disaster, this is how things go wrong, right? I walked into the passageway and they lived round the back of the Limehouse, really nice people. And someone [had] left the telephone on the floor. And there was a glass door into the front room, the lounge. As I walked in, I was going “hello” and I kicked the telephone on the, it was like on the volley, on the half volley. It went straight through the glass window, right? No, that’s the first, right? Smashed the thing to pieces, right? I’m in bits, I’m like, like that. Mum and Dad were cool, I said I’m really sorry, like that. “who left the phone on the floor?” they’re going on and all that. “I’m really really sorry”. Kerry was upstairs getting ready and all that.

And then I sat down on the settee waiting for her, and Mum’s panning the glass up and it’s like… I’m in bits. And I leant on the side of the sofa, like that, and the whole sofa ripped down and fell off. Now you’re going to think I’m joking here, right? It fell off, and I’m up. It’s like You’ve Been Framed or something, right? I’m in bits now, right? I’m fucking sorry, right. And they’re getting the hump now. I’m smashing the house up! I’ve only been in there 5 minutes.

Done that. We’ve got a bus, from Limehouse. On the bus. Some Russian type sailor started digging us out. you know saying “you come with me, with your girlfriend” and all that. I’ve had a fight on the bus, with the geezer, right, within half an hour now, right? I’ve mullered him on the bus, right? It’s all gone pear shaped, right? So we’re still going out, we’ve gone to a pub, then we’ve gone to a party and the party’s in Cloudesley Square, in Islington, right?

Go up there, nice house, very nice house, one of those 3, kind of, tier houses, town houses things, really lovely, and the same thing. You know what I was just saying about this, what reminded me about, you know, keeping one eye on her and she’s alright and I’m talking to a couple of friends here like, boom boom boom. And as she’s walked across the room, right, to come and talk to me, I’ve noticed, you do with your girls, it’s something you, kind of, you look after them without making them feel they’re being looked after if you know what I mean, but you watch them. And she’s tripped on the carpet. And as I’ve caught her, I caught her, right? There’s a table behind me with a glass chandelier, right, thing on, right, and I don’t know how much this was worth, right, and I’ve hit it, and it smashed on the floor, on the fireplace and it’s gone everywhere. There’s glass everywhere. You couldn’t glue this back together. Right? And the woman whose house it was screamed. Right? And I remember saying to her, “I’m really sorry love, whatever it cost, I’ll… I was trying to catch her, whatever it cost, I’ll pay for it and I’ll put it all right, you know” it was obviously someone’s Mum we knew and “I’ll pay for that” and she went on and then you go “well fuck you then” and then it all goes pear shaped.

And, that was the date, and I got her home and that was that. Really nice girl, could’ve, you know, might have been really nice. That was it. I had a nightmare. So, by watching someone and trying to be so nice, it all went the other way.

59. Billy Connolly Interview / Scottish Accent (Glasgow)

8 Replies

Listen to an interview with comedian, actor and musician Billy Connelly who comes from Glasgow in Scotland.

Right-click here to download this episode.

Practise listening to more samples of British English, in particular the Scottish accent in this episode. Billy Connelly comes from Glasgow and is one of the UK’s favourite comedians. He is also an actor who has appeared in Hollywood films (such as Mrs Brown with Judy Dench).

In this podcast you will listen to an interview with Billy on a television show presented by Clive James (an Australian born writer and comedian). Also in the interview you will hear Sir David Attenborough who speaks classic BBC English.

Listen to the interview
Try to understand Billy, Clive and Sir David
Keep listening and I will explain the things they said in more detail
Enjoy the experience of listening!
The interview begins at about 13 minutes in. The first 13 minutes is just me TALKING TOO MUCH ABOUT NOT VERY MUCH AT ALL, as I usually do in these podcasts. I do apologise for talking and talking in such a boring way sometimes. Perhaps I should talk less, but I suppose that is why you download this podcast, so you can listen to a native speaker talking fluently to you, a learner of English. I guess you could just imagine that you’re in a pub with a boring person, but a boring person who keeps speaking English to you, in quite a clear voice.

You can watch the video of this interview on YouTube here. The internet is a wonderful thing (in the right hands).

Tapescript
Dear listeners – if you think you can do it, please provide a transcript to the interview (13.30-ish). It would be a good listening exercise for you, and it would benefit other learners of English who really need the transcript. Learners of English – COME TOGETHER! And help each other. Send interview transcripts to luketeacher@hotmail.com

Thank you very much to people who send me messages of encouragement. I am very glad that so many people like the podcast and use it to improve their English. It’s fantastic to know that it really does make a difference to your English.

Enjoy the podcast, and if you feel like it, send me a small donation via PayPal.

Best regards!

Luke

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Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast

Learn British English with Luke Thompson

Category Archives: Accents

130. A Cup of Tea with… Sebastian Marx

129. A Cup of Tea with… Pierre Gaspard

124. James Bond

Vocabulary in this episode

107. Messing Around with Accents and Voices (with Kate Fisher)

81. What Makes a Great Teacher?

77. Bear vs Shark

76. Mind The Gap – How to use the London Underground (with Oli & Pasquale)

67. Cockney / London Accent

59. Billy Connolly Interview / Scottish Accent (Glasgow)

Vocabulary in this episode

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