Category Archives: Sport

189. World Cup 2014 (Part 3: Your Comments)

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In this episode I’m going to read out comments you’ve added so far on my forum. Click here to visit the forum. The thread is now closed, but I’ll add a new one called “World Cup Comments Thread #2” where you can add other comments. Next week I’ll aim to record another episode with your comments. Right-click here to download this episode.

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I’ve corrected or ‘upgraded’ comments I’m reading out. You can read the corrected versions below.

Let’s get started.

MY ORIGINAL POST:
Hi everyone, I’m really enjoying The World Cup, I’m going to record an episode (or 2) about it very soon, and I need your help!

The World Cup is a truly global event so it will be great to hear the comments of people from around the world on this subject. So, please write your thoughts and comments on this year’s World Cup in this forum thread. I will read out your comments on the podcast. I think it would make a great episode of LEP!

So, please answer one (or more) of the questions below. I will read out your comments in an episode which I plan to record on Thursday afternoon (19 June).

Questions (Answer one or more)
1. Which teams do you think will reach the final, and why?
2. Which team do you think will win this year, and why?
3. Which team are you supporting this year, and why?
4. What are your team’s chances of success this year?
5. Who is the star of World Cup 2014 in your opinion?
6. Generally, what do you think of World Cup 2014 so far?
In all comments, please tell me which country you come from. ;)

Any comments written here by Thursday afternoon (my time) will be read out on the podcast (probably*). So, get writing!

p.s. I will correct errors (not publicly) in the comments before I read them out ;)

Luke

*I do reserve the right not to read out comments for any reason.

Artiz
Hi Luke!!
Do you think the ball crossed the line in the World Cup final you (England) won in 1966??
Cheers…and good luck for England! You will need it!
I forgot to say I am from Spain!
…but I support Argentina. I think the best player ever (Messi) deserves the championship!
Luke: How can you support Argentina if you’re from Spain!?
mmm It’s hard to explain…I love football and I am a loyal supporter of Osasuna in the Spanish league (this year relegated!) so I don’t have a strong feeling with the national teams although I enjoy so much watching all these matches…Also in my region (Pamplona is my hometown) there is not a big national feeling… Am I making it clearer? Or even worse? haha

Roman
4. What are your team’s chances of success this year?
Germany I guess. But to be honest I’m not really into football or soccer or whatever the name is. I much prefer Le Tour de France, which is a French bicycle race for those of you who don’t know. Anyway thank you very much indeed for taking the time to read out this brief comment. Best of luck for the World Cup! Roman from France.

Phillip
Hi Luke! I hope England win but I don’t think they will. If they don’t, I would like Spain or any South American country to win. PS. What do you think about the banner Argentina posed with before their friendly match with Slovenia?

Bruno Correa
São Paulo, Brazil.
Hello, Luke!
I think Brazil and England will absolutely reach the final.
I’m sorry, Luke but I’ve got to say Brazil will win it!
Well, actually I don’t care that much about that. I’m more worried about more important issues here in Brazil.
The World Cup is a really good event, you know, people in this country are sort of obsessed with football. I know it’s a great party and we all love that.
I’m not so sure though that is what my country really needs, at least not now.
Too much money (at least 30 billion dollars) has been spent on this.
We undoubtebly do not need more stadiums, but we do need better education, security and welfare.
Thank you.
Cheers!

Stan Chatov
I think that the finalists will be the Netherlands or Germany.

Diego
Hi luke, I am Diego from Argentina.
Though I think Germany is the toughest team to beat, I believe we are going to make it to the final.
On the other side of the draw is Brazil, five times champion, with a great history and present. Brazil and Argentina are going to see their faces at the Maracana in the last battle of this World cup.
If Uruguay made it in the 50s why can’t Argentina with Messi dream of it too?

Nadia Dosova
Hi everybody, I work as a support teacher in a primary school in London and we did a sweepstake with the kids the other day for the World Cup, so everyone drew a country to support. I got Australia so if they win I might get a prize:-))) (of course I won’t, it’s just for fun). Generally I think Spain or Brazil have the chance:-)

Yannick
Hi Luke
I’m really into football so the World Cup is a great thing for me. In my opinion, the world cup is already a huge success because there have not been as many riots as expected and people over there seem to be happy about it.
I’m a big Bayern Munich supporter so it’s quite logical that I have a soft spot for Germany. I think they will win in the end against Brasil because they have the star of the World Cup, Thomas Müller, in their team. Unfortunately Switzerland won’t succeed. They might reach the quarter-finals but that’s all.
Regards from Switzerland
Yannick Wohlhauser

Zdenek
Hey Luke,
I hope you are ok, this podcast is a great idea.
Let me answer your questions:
1. Which teams do you think will reach the final, and why?
Argentina. I think Brazil won’t make it because they won’t handle the pressure of being the host country and Argentina will take advantage. Messi can be the worst player on the pitch like in the first game but he is still capable of miracles. My dark horse is Belgium but I think they will be beaten in the semis. Germany seems to be strong too, but they will also lose in the semi-final.
2. Which team do you think will win this year, and why?
Holand will win it. As much as I hate Roben for being an arrogant player and a diver, and Van Persie as a traitor who left Arsenal for Man U because of money, I have to admit that they seem to have a very strong team and the way they hammered Spain was just impressive.
3. Which team are you supporting this year, and why?
It is an easy call for me. England because it’s this country and its language that I fell for. And of course because of Luke. And naturally Jack Wilshere who plays for the Gunners. And also Frank Lampard for whom I have lot of respect. (I can’t support the US because they call it soccer which is shameful and despite beating Ghana, they still have kind of no clue how to play this game)
4. What are your team’s chances of success this year?
Zero. They are not there. I wish we were but we messed it up in the qualificaion group stages. I am enjoying waching this tournament big time but if the Czech Republic team were actually in it, I would obviously enjoy it a hundred times more. That’s just the nature of supporting I guess. A bitter pill to swallow but it’s just the way it is I am afraid.
5. Who is the star of World Cup 2014 in your opinion?
I hope it is gonna be someone from the England team. Now it is too early to predict. But I would like to see some new faces, too. Perhaps some players from Africa like Bony Wilfried from Ivory Coast for example. I hope Ballotelli, Neymar or Robben won’t win the golden boot because I don’t like them.
6. Generally, what do you think of World Cup 2014 so far?
The goal-line technology is awesome. Neverthless I miss Luke’s English podcast banners in the stands. So far some matches have been boring, some good but generally the atmosphere has been electric and buzzing. I can’t wait when it comes down to the wire and hopefully when push comes to shove, I am gonna get some goosebumps, too.
Come on England!
Zdenek

Yaron
Hello Luke,
Firstly, you have the greatest podcast I have ever heard.
Since I started listening to your podcast, my english has improved a lot.
Many many many thanks from me :)
So now let’s get down to business, my answers to your questions are:
1. Which teams do you think will reach the final, and why?
In my opinion, it will be Brazil and Germany. The former becuase it is the host team which has the “home” advantage, and the latter because it is the best team in the world
2. Which team do you think will win this year, and why?
Germany. Maybe it’s wishful thinking…
But, if I am serious, I think so mainly because the Germans plays as a team and not based on a few stars.
3. Which team are you supporting this year, and why?
Isn’t it obvious? Germany of course
The reason? Well, At one time, you said that people usually support teams based on their roots… well, I have Germans roots. Add to it the fact that I cannot support my home country (Israel). The last time Israel reached the world cup was before I was born (in 1970).
4. What are your team’s chances of success this year?
Objectively, I think Germany has a good chance to win this year.
5. Who is the star of World Cup 2014 in your opinion?
So far, it is Robben from the Netherlands. The game of Netherlands vs. Spain was amazing.
6. Generally, what do you think of World Cup 2014 so far?
I think it is great. Indeed it is a global celebration.
In all comments, please tell me which country you come from.
My name is Yaron and I’m from Israel and it is an great honor for me that you will read out and correct my English!
Cheers
Yaron

Adriano
The Brazilian supporters swearing at the President and FIFA before the first match has been the best thing from the world cup so far.
Luke: Are you referring to this? http://www.ctvnews.ca/sports/blog-protest-sees-brazilians-standing-up-against-world-cup-1.1870865

Joaquin
Hi from Spain. I would love a final between Brasil and Argentina. A sort of OK Corral duel for Messi and Neymar. And I hope the winner is… the refree. I am a Real Madrid fan and don’t feel too much love for these two guys.
Although I support Spain, I am afraid our boys will come back home soon. They really deserve a golden retirement after six years winning all the competitions. We have been proud of them but we need a change of the guard.
And I would like England to be in the semi finals at least.
One question for you: Americans say “soccer” instead of football. Do you know where the word soccer comes from?

Vinicius
English people invented the most fabulous sport: Football. But, the Brazilians changed that sport into art. Go Brazil, get your sixth trophy! Chupa Argentina! (means “suck it Argentina!”)

Yaron (again)
Following my earlier post, in my opinion, Luke and the whole England nation shouldn’t complain about the English football team. As you can see it could be worse, like in my case that my country hasn’t reached the world cup at all.
Yaron from Israel.

Stefano Pierini
Hi luke. While I’m enjoying the world cup and really hoping Italy will surprise me (still too early to choose the best player but Pirlo is in the top 5) I actually wanna suggest that you comment on the 2022 venue for the world cup ‘Qatar’ which apparently won the bid unfairly.
Greetings from Philly.
Thanks Luke
Stefano

Wilkson
I’m supporting Brazil of course because i’m brazilian lol
the other question I’d like to answer is ” 6. Generally, what do you think of World Cup 2014 so far?”
I think it is a great event, and good for society in general even though the huge amount of money spent on this event is being questioned mainly by us brazilians, but i think it’s good because it unites a lot of nations, and brings us together in peace for a moment.
hopefully :)

Diogo Kurbrusly DeFreitas
Hello Luke!
Greetings from Rio de Janeiro – As a Brazlian, I’ve been hearing about the 2014 FIFA World Cup and its legacy for years and years.
It goes without saying that Brazil is in the spotlight at the moment. From our worldwide known footballers to our modest airports and worrying protests, everything is being covered. Furthermore, it seems to me that the international press has got some mixed feelings concerning the World Cup here in Brazil.
On the one hand we clearly see a lot of criticism when it comes to how the event was planned, organized and managed. Regarding this matter we shall take the example of the official opening ceremony, which could be described as nothing but a fiasco. It was a source of jokes and ridiculousness – not only here in Brazil but all around the world as well. Harsh were the comments on the BBC and The Guardian websites regarding it. Although the international judgements were severe, I must agree with them entirely.
Despite starting on the wrong foot, I truly believe there’s still some hope for making things right. As the World Cup unfolds itself, I can notice some positivity in the air. There’s a great deal of excitment all around the matches and the competition itself. Believe it or not, yahoo.com is already referring to Brazil’s World Cup as the best one of all time.
Having said all of this, Luke… I’d like to know your views on this World Cup. How are things going so far? How well is Brazil performing its role as the host of such a tremendous event? Last but not least: who is going to win this Cup?
Btw, it’s a poor thing The Three Lions haven’t had a good start in the competition but I’m pretty sure they will overcome it.
Cheers!
PS: Sorry for not keeping my message short. As it is said brevity is a virtue, and it seems that I still need to work on it.

Ji Hyun
Germany and Netherlands will probably meet in the final.
They seem so strong, they got huge scores in their first matches, and I think Germany will win the world cup this year. They always seem stronger in the world cup than any other football games.
But I’m supporting my country Korea, it’s a great honour to attend 8 times in a row, and I hope Korea will go through to the last 16 :)

Dang Le Trung Nguyen
Hi Luke,
For this World Cup I completely support England primarily and Japan secondarily, just because I’m learning English and Japanese. This habit, which was planted inside of me when I was a child, is that as I study some foreign language, I study things from that country where that language is spoken as the first language, like culture, customs, civil tastes and so on. I have been a fan of England for a long time, a 12-year period to be exact. I was disappointed with the first round results of those two teams – they were both defeated by the same 2-1 score. I hope they will both pocket 6 points from the remaining matches and qualify for the 1/16 round. I predict that possibly, England will reach the quarter-finals and then sadly, be kicked out on the penalty spot. England always fail on the spot, it’s an English uncureable infection. Japan will lose the 1/16 round.
In this FIFA World Cup, I’m really satisfied with Goal-Line Technology being brought into use and it’s worked. It has gone through many demanding technical tests and it helped in the match between France and Honduras. More specifically, it helped the referee make a right decision by allowing France’s 2nd goal. You remember Frank Lampard’s disallowed goal against Germany 4 years ago, don’t you? If it had been given, the result might have altered. What a pity!
I’m also drawn by the spray used by the referee to restrict the wall when there’s a free-kick. It’s quite strange and in some sense, it looks funny. But I wonder what that substance is when witnessing it disappears rather quickly after. You know what I mean?
This World Cup, there have been plenty of incorrect referee decisions. It’s probably in our mind that one Japanese referee Nishimura’s bad whistle allowed a penalty for Brazil while a Crotia’s man’s touch was clearly not hard enough to bring down Brazil’s Fred. It’s still being criticized. And two Dos Santos goals scored properly were disallowed due to bad referee offside calls. Fortunately, the Mexican men won the game in the end. If not, it would have become more severely controversial. The referee is always an issue in every tournament.
I think Brazil will win the World Cup. The Netherlands will be the runner-up. Germany is likely to stand in 3rd and for the 4th place, I bet on Italy. Most of this prediction is based on my intuition rather than my sense (the factual results we’ll all known after observing each team’s performance). OK, to sum up, it can possibly be:
Champion: Brazil
Runner-up: The Netherlands
3rd place: Germany
4th place: Italy
The top-scorer: Robbin van Persie (the Netherlands)

Tiago Felipe (in response to Dang)
Hi Dang Le Trung Nguyen
That Spray referees use was first used in Brazil and now it’s spreading around the world. It’s a kind of lather. That’s why it disappears very quickly.
We also use this kind of lather in carnival, it’s very fun. But it’s very dangerous if it gets into the eyes.
http://www.istoaqui.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/100105_f_034.jpg

Rie
Hi, I just wanted to share this article to everyone. Maybe some of you already know, but I just was so proud of it as a Japanese person.
https://in.news.yahoo.com/japanese-fans-pick-trash-world-101927572.html

Amra
3. Which team are you supporting this year, and why?
This year’s World Cup is historical for my country because it is the first time Bosnia and Herzegovina’s team is represented in such an important global sporting event. Just the fact that we qualified and managed to play there among all the best football teams is success and of course it means so much to me. It makes me proud of our boys Pjanić, Misimović, Bešić, Begović, Džeko…
Hearing our National anthem in the famous Maracana for the first time ever was overwhelming. Plus knowing that millions of people around the world were watching our team there in the match against the great Argentina was pretty intense. Can’t imagine the pressure and stress in the field at the very beginning of W.C. ’14, but when Bosnians scored in the second half (Ibišević) felt like some National holiday here – everyone dressed up for the occasion, wearing silly hats, waving our flags, singing and having a great time… So the result 2:1, although they won, was very very good. I mean, it’s Argentina we played against!!!
And I think Gauchos played worse than usual because our Dragons were surprisingly good and showed they were up to the task. Now I’m sort of glad that game is over and behind us – we waited for it so impatiently and it was nerve-racking all day and for the whole 90 minutes. The hardest match I’ve ever watched. And certainly something to tell our kids and grand children about. The next two matches should be easier to play, and to watch too, and I, of course, expect Bosnians to win both games. Just remember the first time your country’s team played in the World Cup and you’ll know what I mean!
My second favorite is England and thank God we’re NOT in the same group. :-) Why England? There are many reasons; personal and professioanal. And they’re a good team as well. I Hope to see them in the finals. Along with Brasil – man, they live football 24/7! I also support Croatia – “Love your neighbor!” – so best of luck, people! You’re great!
Btw, what is that whipped cream thing that referees use? Ha ha… :-)
– Amra
Greetings from Bosnia!

Evelin
The World Cup – such a great topic ! I’m really looking forward to listening to the podcast about IT :) I’ve always been a big fan of football (although I’m a girl) , so it’s a great time for me :D I’m sitting on my couch, watching a match between Australia and the Netherlands . I must say that this world championship is on a very high level , matches are unpredictable and fascinating ! I’m really disappointed that I can’t support my national team – Poland ( We played against England in the preliminary stage and we lost of course ) . Instead , I cheer on Argentina (although their defence worries me a little bit :/ ) I’d love to see Argentina – Brazil in the final match ! Sorry , but I have to say that England doesn’t have a real striker , so it is going to be hard to achieve something :/ On the question of the best footballer so far , I’d choose Arjen Robben – incredible left leg :) Greetings from Poland!

Tiago
Hi Luke, I’m Tiago and I come from Brazil.
I’m really excited to take part in this episode.
I’m expecting Brazil vs Argentina in the final game, you know we are not so friendly with each other and that would make a classic match. Both teams are making a good campaign. But of course I think and hope Brazil will win this year, since 2002 we haven’t won a World Cup, the brazilians deserve it, we are hosting the game and the victory will be amazing for all of us. You know that Brazil is known as the country of Football around the globe, but not everyone likes it here. The only problem we are having is about the amount of money that the government spent in order to host the World cup, some people are protesting about it. In part I belive they could have done a better job if they had used that money on Educacion and Health areas.
I have a question, Aren’t you supporting Brazil too?

Andrus
Hi Luke,
First of all,I appreciate very much what you do,I enjoy your genuine British humour and I’m amazed how it’s possible to do so much nonstop talking. Man, you’re just a genius.
Now, let’s talk about football shall we? No doubt it’s a great game and of course I watch the world cup as much as I can. But here in Estonia our most popular sport by a long shot is basketball. What do you like the most Luke -basketball or football? Ha-ha, stupid question to ask, I know :)
So, the world cup….
1. Which teams do you think will reach the final, and why?
I think the finals will be reached by Brazil and Germany and the world champs will be Germany. They are playing very beautiful and smart football.
2. Which team do you think will win this year, and why?
As I said before-the winner this time will be Germany..you’ll see.
3. Which team are you supporting this year, and why?
I’m not supporting any team actually but my favourites are the Netherlands and Germany.
4. What are your team’s chances of success this year?
Sorry to say that but my country will never ever reach to world cup because we are so bad at playing football. By the way-Estonia will play against England on 12th of October this year…so watch out :)
5. Who is the star of World Cup 2014 in your opinion?
I think the star of World Cup 2014 will be Robin Van Persie.I don’t like his personality though but the way this guy is playing (plays?) is impressive.
6. Generally, what do you think of World Cup 2014 so far?
It’s been a pretty amazing WC so far I think. We have seen attractive football with many beautiful goals and that’s what football is all about right? I’m really enjoying it.
Sorry about my english grammar,I’m a bit rusty I know.
Bye-byee

Diogo Kubrusly de Freitas
Hello again Luke!
At the beginning of the first part on your series about the FIFA World Cup you invited listeners from Brazil to say how they were feeling about hosting the 2014 most famous football tournament on earth. So here I am to add my contribution and to present you a brief introduction to our current social-political scenario.
It’s a tricky business to say how Brazil as a whole is feeling about the World Cup… but I can speak for myself, and to be a 100% honest I’m not a happy bunny.
Everyone knows that millions and millions of dollars were spent so that Brazil could meet FIFA’s standards for this competition and therefore host the World Cup. The funny thing is that Brazil’s government constantly say our revenue is not enough in order to meet the country’s needs. Brazil has no money for neither building up new schools nor fully equipping its hospitals. Nevertheless the country can afford the billionaire costs of gigantic stadiums. What a contradiction!!!
Oh it almost slipped from my mind to tell you about inflation levels in Brazil. If you fancy coming here be ready to be ripped off. Every single day a number of services and goods are geting more and more exorbitant.
Another point to be taken into account is how the local media deals with our problems. As far as I’m concerned certain TV networks and influential personalities from Brazil tend to turn a blind eye to our social issues. To illustrate what I’m saying, I shall quote what a well-known football player said some months ago about the World Cup dilemma: ‘We do not make a World Cup with schools but with stadiums’. The genius behind this masterpiece is Ronaldo – the fat one.
Another guy once said that instead of protesting against corruption, Brazilans should support the national squad. Who said that? Not surprising it was another rich and famous Brazilian footballer: Pelé!
I understand the fact Ronaldo and Pelé are fighting for the World Cup in Brazil but I hold the opinion that such statements are disgraceful and revolting – they offend people’s real needs.
I don’t want to be seen as a misery guts but financially speaking it was not the right moment for having a World Cup here in Brazil. Brazilians do have other urgent priorities. It is concerning to think that much more money will continue to go down the drain even when the 2014 World Cup is past. I say this based on the fact that the next Olympic Games will take place here in Rio de Janeiro.
So, I’d say we’ll have to wait and see what will come to be of Brazil in the next couple of years. Fingers crossed things will take a better path…

Jan Kloucek
Hi Luke,
it’s an amazing idea to make a podcast about the World Cup. I’ve said to myself that I have to listen to your episode about the English Premier League these days again because there is a lot of vocab and expressions connected with football and I really need refresh them all.
I’ve got just one question and I don’t know if it’s about the World Cup enough :) but I’ll try it. Nowadays I’ve been living in southern England (Bournemouth) for a few months which means I’m watching the World Cup in Englad’s typical pubs and I’m struggling a bit with people’s behaviour. :) Before the World Cup started I’d been looking forward to watching matches in England a lot because of the atmosphere etc. but now I’m not able to get used to it. Everybody’s drunk and extremely noisy everywhere is overcrowded, there’s no possibility to make a reservation for a table for example and take a seat. I don’t know if it’s understandable :) I don’t have something against cheering and shouting etc. but there is almost no chance to watch a match because of other people…
I’m used to watching football and all other sports events in a pub in the Czech Republic as well but we’re siting during them, drinking beers, debating… Do you know what I mean?
And my questions are: Is it a normal state in the UK or is there is a chance to find quieter places as well and have I just had a bad luck? And what’s your opinion about this? Do you prefer loud atmospheres to quieter one? Is this a taste of football for you (I mean for the English)? And what about the atmosphere in Paris’s pubs?
Fingers crossed for tonight!

Video
Here’s a taste of the atmosphere in a sports bar in the centre of London. This is how some English fans (not everyone) behaves in a busy pub when there’s an England game on.

188. World Cup 2014 (Part 2: England & The Dark Side of the World Cup)

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In this second World Cup episode we focus on England, and then the dark side of The World Cup including the allegations of corruption and the civil unrest in Brazil. Right-click here to download this episode.

Contents
1. What does the World Cup mean to me? (Dealt with in part 1)
2. What’s the situation at this time? Who looks strong? What’s going on? The Basic Guide to World Cup 2014. (Dealt with in part 1)
3. Focus on England
4. Changes to the rules
5. The dark side of the World Cup
6. A brief History of The World Cup (In part 3)

3. England: What are their chances?
World Cup history – penalties. The curse of the penalty shootout.
Stuart Pearce Penalty video 1996 (Feel the passion!)

Why haven’t England won the cup even though the premiership is the top league in the world?
– Foreign players
– Clubs come first
– Finding the right coach
– Egos and personalities vs teamwork
– Pressure & Expectation from the media & the public (it’s assumed that England will win, “football’s coming home” and this doesn’t help)
– Finding the right squad
– Penalties (it’s all in the mind)
England: Letting the rest of the world shine since 1966 ;)

4. Changes to the rules, etc
Goal line technology.
The vanishing spray.
Player conduct – diving, cheating & time-wasting.
The Falklands/Malvinas Situation. Click here to read arguments for and against British occupation of The Falkland Islands. Click here to read an article about the Argentinian players’ protest.

5. The other side of the World Cup. The ‘dark side’ of The World Cup.
Controversy, corruption and civil unrest.
Riots in Brazil.
FIFA’s 2022 corruption scandal.
The Falklands issue – Argentina vs England http://www.debate.org/opinions/should-the-falklands-belong-to-argentina
John Oliver’s report

His main points:
The sausage principle: If you love something, don’t find out how it was made.
He’s excited about the World Cup, but he’s also conflicted about it because of the alleged corruption of FIFA.
Some Brazilians are unhappy about the World Cup because the money spent on hosting the games is not going to the people who need it.
FIFA persuaded the Brazilian government to overturn safety laws in football stadiums. The law used to state that beer could not be sold in stadiums. FIFA refused to negotiate and pushed very hard for this safety law to be overturned. John Oliver believes it’s irresponsible of FIFA to prioritise their sponsors over public safety.
FIFA’s boardroom looks dark and evil.
In Qatar, workers’ rights are so poor that it’s almost like slave labour. Also, health and safety standards are so low that it’s expected that thousands of workers will die during constructions of the stadiums. Downer :(

Stay tuned for part 3 coming soon!

3 Lions ’98 (Baddiel, Skinner & The Lightning Seeds) “Football’s Coming Home” Lyrics
Three Lions 98 Version

We still believe, we still believe
we still believe

Its coming home,
Its coming home, its coming
Footballs coming home

Tears for heroes dressed in grey
No plans for final day
Stay in bed, drift away
It could have been all
Songs in the street
It was nearly complete
It was nearly so sweet
And now Im singing

Three lions on the shirt
Jules Rimet still gleaming
No more years of hurt
No more need for dreaming

Talk about football coming home
And then one night in Rome
We were strong, we had grown
And now I see Ince ready for war
Gazza good as before
Shearer ready to score
And Psycho screaming

Three lions on the shirt
Jules Rimet still gleaming
No more years of hurt
No more need for dreaming

We can dance Nobbys dance
We could dance it in France

Its coming home, its coming home,
Footballs coming home….

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/0/3lions98lyrics/footballscominghomelyrics.html

Please leave your comments below.

187. World Cup 2014 (Part 1: The Basic Guide)

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Lots of people want me to talk about the World Cup, so here we go! This is the first in a series of episodes about World Cup 2014. We start with a general look at the tournament, the groups and the teams. Consider this to be your basic guide to World Cup 2014. Right-click here to download this episode.

I have been preparing podcasts on other things lately but that must stop because nothing else can happen at this moment – why? Because it’s the World Cup. You may have noticed. I think there is a law going round that 75% of anything must be about the world cup. That’s conversations, television, radio, newspaper articles, commercials, food, pets, weather, geography, elephants, whatever. It has to be connected to the World Cup in some way. It’s just an unwritten global law. If I talk about anything else on the podcast at this time, there’s a danger it will go in one ear and out of the other, there is only The World Cup! So, it has to be dealt with. So LET’S DO THIS. Let’s talk about THE WORLD CUP!

Don’t think that I’m reluctant to talk about it. I’m not. I love football. I really love the World Cup – well, most of it. There are some things that I don’t like about it, and we’ll come to that stuff later. I’m not reluctant to talk about it by any means, it’s just that it’s a pretty massive topic and I’ve been wondering how to cover it properly. I’ve decided that I’ll just ramble on about it and do my best to make it accurate and well-informed. Please be aware that I’m an English-teacher-podcaster-comedian-musician but not necessarily an expert on the world of international football, but I will do my best to talk about football with the level of knowledge and expertise that you might expect from most ordinary people in the UK. I have a normal level of knowledge of this subject. So, it’s a bit like talking to a guy in a pub about it, or chatting to a guy who you know at work or school, just like the sort of conversation you’re likely to have in the real world. It’s pretty rare that you get to talk to a football journalist isn’t it? Yes it is, unless you’re married to one or something.

Other World Cup podcasts you could listen to:
The Guardian Football Weekly Podcast (Very in-depth and well-made, but not produced with learners of English in mind.)
Languagecaster.com Lots of stuff about learning English via football here, including some podcasts. Have a look.
British Council Premier Skills English. Loads of resources to learn English associated with football.
Luke’s English Podcast – English Premier League Football.
Future episodes of LEP. I expect I’ll be talking more about the World Cup in the next couple of weeks, and this episode might be separated into several parts. Also, I’ll make a podcast with your comments too.

If you’re not a football fan, well, in this episode you’ll have to just enjoy the words that are coming out of my mouth, without getting too carried away by the general subject matter. I will be looking at both sides in this podcast, and there will be some general criticism of football and the World Cup later on in this episode (or in part 2 if it’s necessary to divide it into two).

It’s one week into the competition. I’m going to talk about how it’s going so far. It’s hard to make any big statements at this moment, because it could all change. By the time you listen to it, everything could be different. I realise that. Anyway, let’s talk football.

Here’s what I’m going to deal with in this episode. I’m planning another one very soon in which I will respond to comments which some of you have left in my forum. You can read that forum thread by clicking here: Luke’s World Cup Comments Forum Thread.

Contents
1. What does the World Cup mean to me?
2. What’s the situation at this time? Who looks strong? What’s going on? The Basic Guide to World Cup 2014.
3. Focus on England
4. Changes to the rules
5. The dark side of the World Cup
6. A brief History of The World Cup

1. What does the World Cup mean to me?
It’s an international celebration. It’s great fun to get caught up in the excitement. It brings people together. It’s a time when we forget our differences and let problems get settled on the football pitch. It’s also nice to see all the hot girls from around the world on TV sometimes. On the more serious side, the World Cup is becoming more and more controversial, basically because of FIFA and the allegations of corruption, and the civil unrest in Brazil around their hosting of the competition. More on that later. Right now, let’s focus on the football, and leave the politics until later.
My world cup story.
Meeting Rai de Oliveira. (Name dropping) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ra%C3%AD

2. Who looks like they could win at this stage?
Let’s look at the groups. To help me here, I am quoting from a very useful article on Slate.com called “How to Fake Your Way Through the Tournament Like a Champ”, which is a kind of dummy’s guide to The World Cup 2014. If you don’t know a lot about the World Cup, this might help you. Since the article was written, some things have changed, and are still changing now as games are being played every day, but it will give you a good idea of the context at this stage.

Now listen to part 2 of this World Cup episode!

180. How my Brother Dislocated his Shoulder (with James)

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aka “My Brother’s Skateboarding Injury”, or “Breaking Up is Hard to Do”, or “A Cup of Morphine with James Thompson”.

Two days ago my brother fell off his skateboard and dislocated his shoulder. In this episode he tells us all about what happened. We also chat about how he still loves skateboarding after 30 years and lots of injuries.

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The episode is an authentic Skype call between my brother me. It is full of vocabulary for describing accidents, injuries, hospitals and medical treatments. You can find a lot of that vocabulary listed below, and I will explain it for you in the next episode of the podcast. We also talk about skateboarding, and so you’ll hear quite a lot of vocabulary on that subject too.

Vocabulary
Let me help you understand and learn the vocabulary! I have listened to the conversation again and I’ve typed out bits of vocabulary from the first 15 minutes. That’s when he explains how he had his accident, and how he received treatment for it. You can find that vocabulary in a list of sentences below. What I’m going to do now is to record another episode in which I clarify and explain the vocabulary from the interview. I’ll publish that as soon as I’ve finished it. So, in order to get definitions of these phrases, just listen to the next episode.

Transcript
The transcript writing collaboration is going really well, with more episodes being transcribed by listeners all the time. If you fancy transcribing some of this episode, you can. Just click here to access the Google document.

Vocabulary List
Listen to the next episode of the podcast to hear me explain all these things in more detail.
First of all – sorry for my brother’s fiddling and fidgeting!
I’m not too bad thanks, considering…
The day before yesterday I came a cropper on my skateboard and dislocated my shoulder
The arm popped out of its socket
I feel a bit, sort of, run down, I suppose would be the word. A bit tired and achy.
Just the twatty landlord using the garden as some sort of rubbish tip as usual.
I was skating a block-sort of-bar thing. “Skating the block“, not “skating on the block“. (The difference is quite important if you’re a skater)
I was doing a board slide on it but it kept sticking.
I leant back a little bit more.
As I was coming off the block I landed fine but slightly on the tail of the board. (Nose, tail, wheels, trucks, grip tape, bearings – skateboard parts).
Slightly off-balance.
I put my hand down to stop myself falling but I carried on sliding out. My feet slid underneath me and I overextended my arm behind my head, and kind of slammed down on my body. My weight came down on my arm.
I immediately jumped up and it felt really really weird.
I felt a shelf where the shoulder-blade (he means collar bone I think) stopped and then there was a 2 inch gap and then the arm. (ouch!)
I knew at that point that I’d dislocated my shoulder. (Past perfect tense)
To start with there wasn’t any pain, the pain came a few minutes in.
I don’t normally get an ambulance for a self-inflicted injury. (what a tough and modest guy he is!)
I normally get a bus or a taxi to A&E but this time I thought it warranted it because I couldn’t move at all.
[It was] extreme muscular pain, like when you tear ligaments or sprain an ankle.
They were going “ooh” which makes you feel uncomfortable if someone’s wincing, you know.
They tried to get a needle into me for a drip. They couldn’t get a vein to bleed properly. (they couldn’t find a vein)
They put some intravenous paracetamol into me, which didn’t really do anything.
It’s an over-the-counter pain-relief pill.
Why are there no aspirins in the jungle? Because the parrots eat them all (the ‘paracetamol’ – yes, it’s a terrible joke)
I gritted my teeth and tried to ignore what was going on.
They drove me with the ‘woo-woos’ on.
(I tell James to stop fiddling… and he says…) I can’t remember where we were now.
They wheeled me into the hospital. (I attempt to highlight the irony of getting injured on a wheeled vehicle and then being taken into a hospital on another wheeled vehicle – it’s an unsuccessful joke, but never mind)
An Indian-looking doctor looked at me.
You can relax a bit when the doctor seems quite in-control.
He told me exactly what was going to happen. I’d need an x-ray to check that nothing was broken, then if nothing was broken then they’d give me some more drugs and then put it back in, and then they’d give me another x-ray to check that nothing had broken while they were putting it back in, which kind of made me think it might be quite a painful process having it set back.
They gave me some morphine, and it didn’t seem to do anything and I was, like, grimacing a bit, so they gave me some more.
They gave you morphine and they gave you nitrous oxide?
You’re breaking up a little bit.
Do you find that breaking up is very hard to do? (This was probably quite confusing, but it’s my brother’s attempt at a sardonic joke – referring to a famous song which uses the same phrase, but with a different meaning)
“You’re breaking up” (your phone/skype signal is not clear)
“Breaking up is hard to do” (Separating, splitting up with your boyfriend or girlfriend – there are two songs that use this phrase, “Make it easy on yourself” by The Walker Brothers & written by Burt Bacharach, and “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” by Neil Sedaka. You can listen to those original songs below. Sorry about my singing.
(James receives a phone call from his girlfriend because she wants to check that he’s okay. How sweet.)
She was a bit worried about me because I was a bit sort of groggy yesterday.
I feel a bit sort of run down, a bit beaten up, but fine.
Good thing you didn’t hit your head.
I didn’t shatter my collar bone or something like that, that would have been horrible.
It could have been something worse.
You don’t need a cast. Nothing’s broken.

That’s as much as I’m able to do at this moment. You’ll just have to listen to the rest of the conversation unaided and try to work out exactly what we’re saying. It’ll be good for your English!

The Selfie of Jim in Hospital
IMG_9692-3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Songs and Videos

Here are some videos and songs that James and I mention during this episode.

Real skating at Stockwell skate park in Brixton, South London. This is where my brother goes skating. The video was filmed and edited by James himself.

“Make it easy on yourself” by The Walker Brothers

“Breaking Up is Hard to Do” by Neil Sedaka

The French Connection (1971) with Gene Hackman – The amazing car chase scene (A big inspiration for the computer game “Driver” by the way…)

“Speedfreaks” 1989 Skate Movie (Santa Cruz Skateboards)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvS72jdFbEk

165. English Premier League Football (with James Simpson)

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A discussion about football with a focus on the basic things you need to know about the Premier League and being a footy fan in England.

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Luke’s Intro
Hello listeners, this episode is all about football! Saturday afternoon, down the pub, going to a match, listening to the radio, the results coming in on your phone, the mixed emotions of a big game, the joy, the tension the disappointment, the celebrations, the rivalries, the joy of being a kid and playing football in the park, jumpers for goalposts, to the international spectacle of The World Cup – huge moments of drama witnessed by the whole world simultaneously, star players, controversial refereeing decisions, angry & stressed out managers, tears & injuries, that magic sponge that they use to cure injuries, the glamourous and sexy footballers’ wives, the sight of a perfectly struck free-kick – the ball spinning and curling in the air in slow motion as it glides over the wall and over the heads of defenders, curving in space and beyond the tips of the goalkeeper’s fingers as it sails majestically right into the top corner of the goal, sending the net billowing back and cascading behind it – the goalkeeper still falling, the player staring – there’s that brief moment of silence before the entire stadium explodes like a million tonnes of dynamite, but in a good way!

FOOTBALL! Our old friend.

Or maybe you can’t stand it. Maybe for you it’s just 90 minutes of crushing boredom – watching powerless while a bunch of overpaid prima donnas kick an air-filled sack around a green rectangle, while nothing happens, nothing changes. Men get either drunk, depressed and violent, or even worse; drunk, depressed and violent. The inarticulate players cheat, dive onto the floor like broken flowers – injured beyond repair, and then jump up back to full health, their wounds miraculously cured, to argue with the referee. The managers shout and just look stressed, no-one makes any sense when they talk about it, there’s way too much money involved and it never ever ends. Football.

But we love it, yes we do. It’s the world’s number 1 sport…

This episode is included in the transcript collaboration. Click here to transcribe part of this episode using a Google doc.

James Simpson
James is an English actor, comedian and Sheffield United fan. He now lives in Paris, and is one of the voices behind The Paris Pod, which is a great podcast about the life of English ex-pats in Paris.

136. Cycling from London to Paris

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A conversation with Ben Fisher about his long-distance cycling trip, with lots of vocabulary for cycling and bicycles.

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What is the longest bike trip you’ve ever done? Have you ever run a marathon or walked a very long distance? In this episode, I speak to Ben Fisher, who just this weekend cycled all the way from The River Thames in London to La Seine in Paris, covering a distance of over 460km.

Listen to the podcast as Ben and I discuss the trip, the challenges, the pain, the joy and the enjoyment of this journey by bicycle. In our discussion you will hear lots of vocabulary relating to cycling and transport in general.
Click here to read Ben’s blog, in which he describes the journey and shows some photos. Thanks for listening to the podcast.
Have you ever made a long journey by bike? Leave a comment to tell us about it.
All the best, Luke

Transcript
There is a google document with a transcript for this episode. Click here to read it.

131. Rickipedia / Listener Q&A with Rick Thompson

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A conversation with my Dad, Rick Thompson. We answer various questions sent to us by listeners on Facebook.

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Rick is a journalist who worked for the BBC for about 30 years. He now runs his own media training company, called T-Media. He’s also been my Dad for 35 years. In my family we consider him to be like Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia. His knowledge is pretty encyclopedic. If I have a question, he is usually able to give quite an extended answer to it, although sometimes the facts can be a little bit unreliable. That’s why I’ve started to call him “Rickipedia”.

In this episode I ask my Dad various questions which were sent in by fans of Luke’s English Podcast on Facebook. To visit and like the facebook page, click here.

What do you think of my Dad’s answers? Leave your comments below.

My Dad and I both hope you enjoy this episode, and find it interesting and useful as a way of practising your English listening.

Questions from Listeners
Here are the questions that some of my listeners sent in via Facebook.

[4:47] Tuan Do Sir What’s the difference between UK today and UK 30 years ago?

[12:25] André Domen What does it feel like to be British these days?

[13:52] Bruno Alves Which team is going to win UEFA Champions League this season?

[16:35] Stefano Pierini I’d like to know what he thinks about Eastern Europe, especially the South-Eastern part (Serbia and bordering states)… I know he worked there sometimes.

[21:56] Hiroshi Maruyama Why did you (Rick) get the good idea to present dram set to your sons for Christmas many years ago?

[25:45] Hiroshi Maruyama Have you ever had Tetrisitis?

[27:34] Hiroshi Maruyama Please tell me about the pleasure of bird watching. In Kumamoto, my home town, we have a lake and lots of birds come. I sometime go to watch them.

[31:16] Francesco Moscato Good afternoon Mr. Thompson. A few months ago Luke uploaded an episode about the Maya people and their prophecy about the end of the world. What do you think about them?

[32:25] Romain Bsn Hi Luke’s Dad, I’d like to know what are your thoughts about French people (it can be about any topics)?

[35:54] Lucianna Liveira Ask him if he can speak Portuguese or whatever language?

[37:09] Garoina De Vergerach Hi Mr.Thompson! What dou you think about the Spanish bullfighting?

[39:55] Стефан Слободяну Hi, Luke! Please ask him what he thinks about life in the UK! What are the best and the worst things? :)

[47:10] Claudio Natale Hi Luke! According to your dad, which are the most common stereotypes about Italy and Italians.

[50:12] Claudio Natale What’s his favorite food?

[50:37] Khazan Anna Hi Luke! Please ask your dad what his favourite dishes are. What does he think about English food. What does he have for breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc.?  Does he have high tea?

[57:05] Mariana Ramirez Hey Luke. Does he have any funny anecdotes or stories of you and your brother when you were children.

[1:00:35] Ubiratan Silva Silva Why 2 + 2 = 4?

[1:02:10] Jairo Trujillo García Well, we could ask the Oprah’s legendary: “What are you sure of?” as a final question maybe.

Click here to see the transcript.

London Olympics 2012

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More interviews with speakers of English. This time I went to the Olympic Park in East London and spoke to some people about the Olympic Games.

TRANSCRIPT:

London Olympics 2012

What do you think?

Girl 1: Hello

Girl 2: Hello

Luke: Hello, where are you from?

Girl 1: Australia

Luke: Really?

Girl 2: And the UK

Luke: Right, okay, fantastic. So, you are living in England are you?

Girl 1: I am living in England, at the moment yeah.

Luke: Okay, so which event are you going to see today?

Girl 1: Women’s basketball

Luke: Okay right, I see. So how was the Olympic ceremony in your opinion?

Girl 2: It was pretty amazing, yeah it was really good.

Luke: Okay, what do you think of the orbit over there?

Girl 1: I want to go up there

Luke: Yeah?

Girl 1: Can you go up there?

Luke: I don’t know actually

Girl 1: I think you can and I want to go up there, it looks cool

Luke: What do you think about the way it looks?

Girl 2: Yeah it looks really good everything’s done really nice and it’s, yeah really well done.

Luke: Okay, cool and so in general is the Olympics good for London or bad for London?

Girl 1: Good I think

Luke: Why’s that?

Girl 1: I don’t know, it brings more people here. I don’t know! I’m not even from London! To her…

Luke: What do you think? Do you think it’s improving London or is it just annoying or…?

Girl 2: A little bit annoying, but

Luke: How is it annoying a little bit?

Girl 2: It’s just I guess costs quite a lot and the traffic and everything’s quite a hassle but generally I think it’s pretty good event for us to have

Girl 1: The spirit!

Girl 2: Yeah, it brings everyone together. But it’s annoying when you have to try and get to work

Luke: Yeah the traffic is a bit of a problem

Girl 2: Yeah the traffic but no  it’s good it’s good for us to have  .

Luke: Well have a great time

Girl 1: Thank you

Girl 2: Thank you cheers bye!

Luke: Thank you, bye

 

Luke: Hi, how are you doing?

Man: Very well thank you

Luke: Where are you from?

Man: We’re from Devon

Luke: Devon, okay. So, hello

Daughter: Hello

Luke: Hi, what’s your name?

Daughter: Ellie

Luke: How’s the Olympics for you so far?

Daughter: It’s cool

Luke: Yeah, what do you like about it the best?

Daughter: I’m not really sure

Luke: You’re not really sure?

Daughter: No, it’s all good

Luke: Which event are you going to see?

Daughter: Erm, the swimming.

Luke: Swimming, okay, alright brilliant. So what did you think of the opening ceremony?

Man: I thought it was pretty awesome actually, I thought it was a good err, it was good for Britain, showed off Britain, a bit quirky, a bit funny, errrm, yeah not trying to be anything that we’re not.

Luke: Okay. And erm what do you think of the Orbit over there?

Daughter: I think it’s really cool.

Luke: You like it?

Daughter: Unusual yeah

Luke: Unusual you think yeah? And what do you think about that?

Man: I haven’t really thought about it to be honest but it’s an interesting structure

Luke:T is isn’t it yeah. Do you think that the Olympics is good for London or bad for London in general?

Man: Brilliant, absolutely amazing

Luke: Why?

Man: Err, it just puts Britain on the map, puts London right in the centre where it should be. I think it’s great for Britain.

Luke: So who are you going to cheer for today?

Daughter: Erm…

Luke: Britain I would say. Team GB right? Okay right well have a fantastic day

Man: Thank you very much

Luke: and err, bye

Man & Daughter: Bye!

 

Luke: Hi mate

American: How’s it going?

Luke: Fine thanks. So where are you from?

American: I’m from America

Luke: What a surprise! And which event are you going to see today?

American: We’re actually going to watch Phelps swim. We’re going to support him.

Luke: You’re going to see what?

American: Phelps, Michael Phelps

Luke: Oh yes

American: in the 400 IM

Luke: Okay brilliant. And so how’s the Olympics for you so far?

American: Oh well it’s our first day here so we’re excited about it. Hopefully we can get back out here and see some more events.

Luke: Have you been in London long now?

American: I’ve been in London for two weeks actually. Doing summer school here.

Luke: What do you think of the place?

American: I love it. It’s a lot of fun.

Luke: What exactly about it do you like?

American: What do I… pardon me?

Luke: What is it exactly that you like about London?

American: Oh it’s, I don’t know it’s different from everywhere else, you can’t, like, can’t find most things you find all in one place like you can in London.

Luke: How is it different to the States?

American: There’s a lot of different things. The culture, the language are slightly different. It just, I don’t know it’s the European melting pot I guess, from over here.

Luke: What do you think of The Orbit?

American: Erm, I don’t know. I guess it’s err, London’s attempt at the Eiffel Tower.

Luke: You think so?

American: I guess

Luke: What is it?

American: Err, it’s an observatory tower I believe. Maybe I’ll make my way up there.

Luke: Yeah, okay well have a fantastic evening

American: Thank you nice to meet you

Luke: And a great time in London

American: Bye

Luke: Bye

84. Luke’s English Braincast (with James)

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Why is it called Luke’s English Braincast? Listen to the episode until the end to find out.

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Contents
What’s been going on? What’s been happening? In this episode, Luke and James talk about recent news stories and current affairs including:
– The London Olympic Games
– The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee
– The Superbowl
– Charles Dickens 200th Anniversary
– The Oscars 2012
– Women drivers
and a number of other fascinating topics! You will find a list of some vocabulary used in the show below. Just scroll down the page, listen to the episode and learning will occur!

You can also hear Luke’s award acceptance speech. I’m now going to shut up about the award!

DICTIONARY UPDATE
Fans of my Facebook page have voted for The Macmillan Phrasal Verbs Dictionary as their prize. So, I will let Macmillan know and then they will send me that dictionary. When I have received it, I will organise some kind of competition so that YOU have a chance to win it from me.

VOCABULARY
Are you a learner of English? Do you like natural English vocabulary? Do you like games? Do you think the world would be a better place if we all stopped taking ourselves so seriously all the time? Well, here’s a great new game you can play to improve your English. It’s called VOCAB HUNTER (in 3D). It’s not actually in 3D but that sounds better than just VOCAB HUNTER! Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking – how do I play this fascinating game which is called VOCAB HUNTER (in 3D)? Well, simply look at the list of vocab + definitions below while you listen to this episode of Luke’s English Podcast. Whenever you hear a piece of vocab being used by Luke or his brother James, just SHOOT that item (mentally if you don’t have a laser gun or you don’t want to damage your computer) and move on to the next piece of vocab. That’s it. Could you be the best vocab hunter in the world? Can you identify and SHOOT (please don’t actually do any real shooting – just look at the vocab on the screen and say “OK” or “got it” or something) each piece of vocab as you see it? Are you ready to become the world’s greatest VOCAB HUNTER??? There’s only one way to find out, so listen to the conversation between Luke & James, and identify the vocab in this list: (please try to contain your excitement)

This list contains extracts from this podcast. I have typed these bits because I think they contain some phrases, expressions or words that I think you might not know. Use an online dictionary like the Macmillan Online Dictionary or The Cambridge Online Dictionary to get definitions.

James: You shouldn’t be so humble about these things
Luke: Sarcasm

Luke: I won a dictionary
James: We get that. Not that I’m putting that down, it’s a great achievement.

James: I think I’ve heard enough about the dictionary now. That’s all I’m saying. You might have milked that one a bit too much.
Luke: I might have over-egged the pudding

Luke: Which film did you see?
James: I saw ‘Young Adult’
Luke: ‘Young Adult’ – it sounds dodgy

James: Let’s talk about the news. That’s what I’m here for. To cast my expert eye over the week’s events across the media.
Luke: OK what have you come across? What news stories have you come across?

Luke: …the Olympic bid…

Luke: On one hand…  all the countries in the world take part and it’s an amazing celebration, but on the other hand London is such a crowded place that it could become an absolute nightmare.

James: Also, during what’s becoming a recession, isn’t it just a massive waste of money? When there’s people having their benefits taken away from them, councils have less and less money to spend on basic services, and the poor are getting poorer, the rich are getting richer, do you really need this pointless festival of sport?

Luke: Ooh let’s see who can run the fastest! In a way, that question is now redundant because we’ve got cars and bicycles.

James: If we had money coming out of our ears and we were very very rich and there was no problems with poverty in this country, which is never going to happen, but if we were living in a sort of utopia, then great, have a festival of sport, but otherwise I just think it’s a complete waste of money.

James: And also I thought the Olympics were supposed to be a very non-commercial event.

Luke: …they are promoting sport by making kids fat, allegedly.

Luke: …but it’s all revenue though isn’t it? It’s all revenue to the government.

James: There has been a lot of regeneration of East London because they want the area to look nice for international visitors, to show off to make London look nice. And in some ways that’s good, and they talk about the legacy, that’s kind of a catchphrase… …it’s not just about the event it’s about the legacy.

James: …a lone wolf terrorist…

James: Let’s move on to the next topic. We’ve cleared that one up.
Luke: We’ve done the Olympics.

James: The best one is when they get on the tube with a massive rucksack on and the tube doors close on their rucksack and they’re basically pinned to the door, trapped like a sort of scared animal and it’s very very funny. Tourists, keep doing that because it really brightens up my day.

Luke: I saw it the other day I saw a Japanese family dithering by the doors of a crowded underground train.

Luke: He was probably pleased because he probably thought “now I can go and get pissed” or something

Luke: Anyway let’s not be too down on the tourists because … we welcome tourists in London.

James: I found myself taking a photo of a van, just an ordinary van

The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee

James: I’d want to stay in bed. I wouldn’t relish that thought.

James: No wonder she’s such a heavy drinker. It’s a well known fact. She hits the sherry by about half eleven most days, by midday she’s onto her second or third. By ,idnight she is hammered.

James: Queen Victoria used to take it.
Luke: She had period pains and arthritis pains

James: I just made that up. I’m lying.

Luke: Mick Jagger is Sir Mick Jagger. He’s a Knight of the Realm.
James: What, for ‘services to paedophilia’?
Luke: Woa there! Where are all these allegations coming from?
James: Sorry I’m just a bit bored today. I’m just trying to liven it up.

The Queen’s Honours; e.g. OBE, CBE, Knighthood

James: cheering on a bunch of knuckleheaded…
Luke: …knuckleheaded sportsmen in armour

James: All you need to play American football is a bloody massive pitch, these weird upside-down goal things
Luke: You can play American football in a park
James: Yeah but not the full game. Not the full contact sport game, because you’d break your neck wouldn’t you. They need all that padding just in order to have a little kick around. You can play touch football I suppose but that’s not the actual game.

James: I used to get into them in the 80s. They used to show them on channel 4.

James: It’s just quite easy to take the mick out of really isn’t it.
Luke: We like making fun
James: Mocking people
Luke: Mocking Americans

James: It’s the screaming and the pointlessness of it all, and the crushing depression
Luke: You’re really negative today. You need to lighten up. Be more positive.

They start talking about the performance at superbowl this year with Madonna and MIA.

James: (About MIA) Her Dad used to be a Tamil Tiger.
Luke: She’s a musician from Sri Lanka

James: “and halfway through the performance she flipped the bird”

James: Not that shocking you might think but apparently people are upset about it… pre-watershed, Christians and that…

James: We’re being a bit mean
Luke: …a bit crazy today
James: a bit crass

James: Co)incidentally her new single’s out today… it’s a publicity stunt… we’re clever enough to say “we don’t care” “we don’t give a toss”.

James: it was okay. Out of ten I’d give it a five.
Luke: She sampled The Clash in that song. That’s the best bit of the song.
James: Mmm, they should have just not sampled the clash and just played The Clash.
Luke: I can play a bit of that song
James: Let’s not bother
Luke: If you’re listening, it’s called “Paper Planes” by MIA

Dickens’ 200th Anniversary

Luke: He was quite a good person
James: He was quite into social reform

James: People talk about things being ‘Dickensian’

Luke: The cliche that London is very old, dark, grey, foggy, smokey, and with lots of gap-toothed urchins, chimney sweeps, basically Charles Dickens…
James: Put that into the popular consciousness

The Oscars:
Luke: The ladies love George (Clooney). He’s often voted the sexiest man in the world, even though he is going grey, he’s got a few grey hairs going on but the ladies still seem to think he’s wonderful. My girlfriend for example, rather annoyingly, still loves George Clooney
James: Bit of jealousy there

Luke: Basically, The Oscars is Hollywood’s way of promoting its assets (itself).

“George Clooney always looks like he’s in an advert for George Clooney” Geoff Dyer in The Times

James: Oh that reminds me, have you seen the trailer for the new Tom Hanks film?

Luke: We don’t really like that kind of cheese in England
James: I hate that kind of really over the top, sentimentality

James: We like understatement. Not everyone, I can’t speak for the whole bloody country
Luke: We do like understatement though, and we prefer it when people aren’t so earnest like that, “well gee Dad I sure love you!”, instead in England it’s a bit like ” you know Dad, you’re alright”
James: Yeah; we’d prefer that. I’d well up at that

Luke: We tend to hide behind jokes. We’re diseased, we’ve got a disease, it’s called a sense of humour. We use it to cover up our awkwardness

James: It’s like Ricky Gervais (said), you’ve got to do a movie about the holocaust,
Luke: A movie about an idiot or a movie about the holocaust is the best way to win an oscar
James: Play a disabled or a jew
Luke: Woa there!!!
James: That’s his words, not mine

Women Drivers
Luke: Women just use a car to go from A to B… They don’t value driving as a way of proving themselves

Luke: The cliche is that women can’t park a car… Surveillance of car parks around Britain, CCTV surveillance around Britain in car parks has revealed that while women take longer than men to get their cars into small spaces, they do it more skillfully. They actually do it more successfully. So all these security cameras all over the country have…
James: Well, the ones that are left and haven’t been crashed into by women
Luke: Ha ha very funny. These security cameras have revealed that women may park more slowly but they do it more successfully.

The stupidest thief
James: There are some very deranged people out there, very disturbed people out there. You should probably say you read that from The Week didn’t you.

Cold weather
James: What disturbed me is, the night of the cold snap, I can’t remember what country it was, like 40 homeless people died, or more, like loads and loads of homeless people died. It’s just such a horrible thought that people haven’t got a home to go to and when it gets that cold you just die.
That’s all I have time to do at the moment. Listeners – if you have some time to kill then please transcribe the last 10mins of this episode and send it to me at luketeacher@hotmail.com
For now, it’s good night.

Now it’s time to say good night
Good night Sleep tight
Now the sun turns out his light
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.
Close your eyes and I’ll close mine
Good night Sleep tight
Now the moon begins to shine
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.
Close your eyes and I’ll close mine
Good night Sleep tight
Now the sun turns out his light
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.
Good night Good night Everybody
Everybody everywhere
Good night.