Category Archives: Beliefs

Attacks in Paris / Paul Taylor’s Eyewitness Account

Hi listeners, this is Luke, recording this in my flat in Paris as usual. This episode of LEP is all about the terrorist attacks which happened here last Friday evening. I’m joined by Paul Taylor and we’re just going to try to talk about what we saw, what happened, and what this all means.

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First of all, I should say – Thank you for your concern
As you know, I live in Paris and I should say right now, thank you very much for all the messages I’ve had from LEPsters. Lots of people contacted me in various ways, saying that they were concerned about my safety and the safety of my family and friends. Thankfully I can say that I am fine and so is everyone I know – including my wife, her family and all our friends – including Amber and Paul of course. Still, our thoughts go out to those people who have been directly affected by the attacks. It’s a very sad, shocking and infuriating time indeed, but one thing’s for sure, we have to carry on as normal to make sure these terrorists don’t win. Life goes on today. We keep laughing, we keep going out – basically, we keep calm and carry on.

Also, it’s not just Paris. This is just one of a number of recent ISIS attacks in different places.
Recently, two explosions in suicide attacks in a Shi’ite Muslim district of southern Beirut in Lebanon killed 43 people, and 224 people died when a Russian aircraft crashed in Egypt’s Sinai Peninsula. Also, Turkey stopped a major Istanbul terror plot on same day as Paris attacks, according Agence France Presse.
And it’s not just ISIS – there’s violence and fighting in many places by many people for many reasons. It all sucks. Our thoughts go out to anyone who has been the victim of violence in any country.

In this podcast we’re talking about the attacks in Paris in particular just because they happened in our town, close to home, and we have some direct experience of it. We just want to tell you about what happened.

I expect you’ve seen the story in the news a lot over the last few days. Here and in the UK it’s totally dominating the news. Just in case you don’t know what happened, on Friday evening Paris was attacked by ISIS terrorists and 129 people were killed in explosions and shootings. Members of the public were shot in public bars, restaurants and cafes. The worst attack took place inside a live music venue called Bataclan, which is just 100 metres or so away from Le Paname Art Cafe where Paul and I often perform stand up comedy. In fact, Paul was there at Le Paname when the attack happened nearby. He’s with me today and we’re going to talk about what happened, what he saw and the rest of the story.

Are you alright Paul?
What have you been doing over the past couple of days, since the attacks?

Paul’s account

Luke’s account

What happened specifically?
During the evening of Friday 13 November, there were six different attacks in and near Paris. Apparently the attacks were co-ordinated and carried out by ISIS terrorists. At this moment, 129 people have been killed in the attacks and something like 350 people are injured, with about 100 people in a critical condition. The death-toll might rise over the next few days depending on how people recover in hospital.

This is after some artists working for the Charlie Hebdo magazine were murdered by ISIS terrorists in Paris at the beginning of the year. After that, there was a big peace march in which hundreds of thousands of people got together to march against terrorism and to celebrate solidarity. Place de la Republique was the focal point of those peaceful gatherings. That is also the focal point of these recent attacks.

Here’s what happened in the 6 attacks. This info is based on what I’ve read in different articles online, such as one from The Guardian, which includes lots of eyewitness accounts. http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/nov/14/paris-attacks-timeline-of-terror

Stade de France 9.20pm
9.20pm on Friday 13th. A football game between France and Germany was underway at Stade de France which is just outside Paris to the north. 3 explosions were heard from inside the stadium, but the game carried on. French President Francois Hollande was inside the stadium at the time and by 9.30 he’d been informed as to what was actually going on, and was evacuated to the interior ministry for an emergency cabinet meeting. This was while attacks were going on in a number of different places in Paris. It’s not until the football game ended that the fans in the stadium really learned what had happened. 3 terrorists had set off explosive belts outside the stadium – two at entrances to the stadium and another outside a McDonalds. 4 people were killed – the 3 terrorists and one other person. The fans gathered on the football pitch and eventually were led out of the stadium, singing the French national anthem.

Le Carillon bar and restaurant; le Petit Camboge, Rue Alibert 9.25PM
These two places are on a road not far from Place de la Republique.
It’s not certain how many gunmen or cars were involved. It could be one shooter and one driver, or two shooters and two drivers. Apparently one of the cars stopped outside the two places and a gunman got out. He started shooting into Le Carillon bar, and then crossed the street to shoot into the Le Petit Camboge. It sounded like fireworks apparently, and people didn’t really understand what was going on. Some witnesses say one of the cars had Belgian number plates. 15 people were killed and 10 injured.

Casa Nostra, Rue de la Fontaine-au-Roi 9.32PM
This one happened at 9.32pm. Apparently a gunman arrived outside Casa Nostra, a pizza place and started shooting at people on the terrace. He was wearing tight black clothing and had a machine gun. Some witnesses commented that he looked exactly like a trained soldier, standing with one leg in front of the other, firing in short bursts, his clothes very tight fitting and completely black all over – just like you’d expect from a combat soldier. He appeared calm and didn’t say anything. After shooting a number of people on the terrace he swivelled (turned, mechanically, like the way soldiers are trained to do) and shot through the window of a car (presumably to kill the people in the car). He then went into the cafe. More shots were fired. When the police arrived they couldn’t find him. Five people were killed and 8 injured.

Restaurant La Belle Equipe, Rue de Charonne – 9.36PM
This is a popular restaurant on a street corner in a cool part of Paris where people like to eat out, drink on the terrace outside the restaurant and generally enjoy life, like they do here in Paris. That’s one of the best things about this place. The restaurant and cafe culture. But some people apparently can’t stand the fact that we like to freely drink, talk about anything we want and just have carefree laughs. The restaurant was fully booked on Friday evening, with quite a lot of seats outside.

So, at about 9.36 according to witnesses, a car pulled up outside the restaurant and a man got out with a high-calibre weapon – like an assault rifle or machine gun. He then, quite calmly, began shooting at people sitting outside La Belle Equipe. Within a few seconds everyone was on the ground, either dead or just protecting themselves. Witnesses said that people were screaming and moaning. 3 minutes later the gunman got back in the car and they drove away. 19 people died.

Bataclan 9.40PM
This is a concert venue in the 11th arrondissement of Paris. It’s a place to go and see live music. On Friday about 1500 people were in the venue, listening to a Californian band. At about 9.40 three men started shooting AK-47s randomly into the crowd. These men were no more than 25 years old, dressed all in black and apparently were calm and silent as they fired their weapons into the crowd, killing a lot of members of the audience. Apparently everyone hit the floor, lying on top of each other, protecting each other, trying to avoid getting shot. The gunmen walked around, reloading and continuing to shoot people as they lay on the floor. A lot of people managed to escape from the building, some of them getting shot in the process. There’s some footage of people scrambling out of the back of the venue, some people hanging from outside the windows, doing whatever they can to escape the shooting. The terrorists held about 20 people hostage. According to a witness called Pierre Janaszak who hid in the toilet but could hear what was going on, the terrorists were talking to the hostages, saying stuff like, ‘It’s the fault of Hollande, it’s the fault of your president, he should not have intervened in Syria,’ Apparently people who were stuck inside the Bataclan were using social networks to communicate with the outside world, with messages like this “I’m heavily wounded. Please police you have to launch an assault, there are still people alive here but they are killing them one by one.”

This all went on for several hours. The police were on the scene but couldn’t get inside. Special forces arrived at about 12.20 and raided the building because it was clear that the gunmen were still killing hostages on the inside. Within a couple of minutes the three terrorists were dead and it was over. Two of them blew themselves up with explosive belts they were wearing, and one was shot. The scene inside the Bataclan has been described as a blood bath. Immediately after the attack, about 90 people were dead.

Now there is a memorial outside the venue with flowers, messages and candles.

Boulevard Voltaire 9.40PM
This attack happened at the Voltaire restaurant at about 9.40pm. The restaurant is on Boulevard Voltaire which connects Place de la Republique with Place de la Nation, two big intersections and meeting places. Boulevard Voltaire is the road where some world leaders marched for peace after the Charlie Hebdo attacks earlier this year. Apparently one of the attackers involved in the Bataclan incident ended up here. I guess he was a fourth attacker. He went into the restaurant, ordered a coffee and then blew himself up. The attacker is dead, and one person is seriously injured.

That’s what happened in the six attacks.

Who did it?

ISIS have claimed responsibility for it.

Quickly – who are ISIS?
ISIS – Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or ISIL – Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant or IS or DAESH in France.

ISIS is originally, an offshoot of Al-Qaeda in Iraq. They have established a caliphate – that’s an area ruled by one leader, and have imposed their harsh interpretation of Islamic law. Their strict conservative Islamic law applies in the caliphate. What distinguishes the new armed group is its capture and occupation of areas of territory, covering areas of Iraq and Syria.

ISIS has essentially formed this caliphate as a rogue state across the territories of sovereign nations. They’re using their base as the centre of operations, where like-minded people from around the world can come and train. They also use the internet as a training and recruitment tool, allowing them to control operations abroad.

ISIS gets its money by capturing oil fields and from extortion – essentially stealing money and resources by threat. They’re also accused of brutality and ethnic cleansing, including publishing beheading videos of their enemies. Residents of Syria are escaping them, that’s the reason there’s a big exodus of people from Syria into Europe. They’re running away from these people.

Syria was already in civil war, between Assad the incumbent President and rebel forces. It’s not completely clear to me what the relationship is between ISIS and these two factions. ISIS is probably a problem for both groups. Apparently, in the G20 summit happening in Turkey – Obama and Putin just agreed to work together to bring about a peaceful transition in Syria, as part of an effort to stop ISIS. This probably means they’re going to try to replace Assad’s regime with a regime involving the Syrian rebels, that may work like a proxy government. I don’t know enough about it at this stage, but it’s interesting that Obama and Putin are working together to take down ISIS.

How did ISIS organise the Paris attack?

It’s unclear if the Paris attacks were organised and arranged by ISIS from their headquarters (in Syria) or if it has been planned and carried out by local people who are operating under the name of ISIS. The nature of the attacks suggest that these are organised, and carried out by people with some military training – that suggests to me that it was a plan centralised in Iraq, but who knows. How did the attackers get their weapons? How did they get their training? It looks like they were experienced soldiers. They may be European-born men who went to Iraq/Syria in order to fight with ISIS. While there, they might have received military training and indoctrination before returning to France to carry out the attacks.

Who are these people? The individual attackers are yet to be identified. There’s lots of information going around, like reports of passports being found which suggest they’re either Egyptian or Syrian.
Unconvincing information – why would the terrorists have their passports? (I think this theory is now disproved)

Actually, reports suggest that three of them were French nationals, brothers living in an area of Belgium known for its community of extremists. Apparently one of these brothers is still “at large”

How many others were involved in the 6 attacks? 3 at stade de France, 3 in Bataclan, 1 at Boulevard Voltaire, 3 other gunmen and then there are drivers too. It’s at least 10 people. Only 7 have been accounted for. There must be loads of other people who were involved, including the leaders of the operation, locally, who no doubt are not the ones who killed themselves. The leaders aren’t the ones who kill themselves, they just get other people to do it for them.

Some people are blaming the refugees from Syria. Perhaps some of the attackers came into Europe with refugees via Greece. But those refugees are running from exactly the same people that did these attacks.
Just because the terrorists may have entered with the refugees, does that mean the thousands and thousands of innocent refugees should be turned away?

In fact, one Syrian passport found near one of the bodies of the attackers near Stade de France was not the passport of one of the attackers, so that’s a false alarm.

How was this allowed to happen during a period of high security in France?

There are many things we don’t know. But I guess what we can be sure of is – this was an attack by ISIS against the values and way of life that they hate, and as an act of revenge against western bombing of ISIS forces in Iraq and Syria.

I’m not going to say they’re evil or devils – I don’t really believe that stuff, and I think labelling someone as “evil” is a bit of a cop out. What does ‘evil’ mean, and where does it come from? I don’t think they’re evil – I think they’re just wrong. I think for whatever reason they have got completely the wrong idea about everything. That’s obvious isn’t it! But what I mean is that this isn’t the result of evil magic or something, it’s just an example of how humans can go wrong, can be misguided and can do terrible things if they live in certain circumstances, if they are children of war, if they are brainwashed by certain twisted ideas and if they believe they are doing the right thing. I’m sure they are convinced that they’re doing something good and that god wants it. That’s part of what’s so horrendous.

It just shows that people are capable of doing terrible things if they believe that it is the right thing to do, and this is especially so if they believe it is god’s plan.

These people are basically members of a death cult, with a super strict and messed up ideology. They want to impose their rules on everyone. For them, the lifestyle of the average Parisian should be punishable by death. Drinking, laughing, playing music, men and women flirting and hanging out together, etc. All these things are considered to be obscene and against the will of god. Never mind the fact that if god is all powerful it means he created all these people in the first place and if they do those things it’s because god allows it to happen.

I’m not going to go into the reasons why ISIS are wrong. I think we all agree.

Also, they don’t represent Islam of course. There are something like 1.6 billion muslims in the world and the vast vast majority of them are peaceful. No, ISIS have been created by other forces, not the doctrine alone. Their cult is based on Islam but it is not Islam of course, it’s some sort of twisted version of religion. I think their dogma is shaped by hatred – suffering from it at the hands of others, allowing it to breed. They don’t love life. They want to stamp it out at all costs. I still don’t really know why.

Just because you don’t like the Parisian way of life, it doesn’t mean you should go on a kill-spree.

Fair enough, we all find hipsters annoying, but you don’t need to shoot them, just bitch about them on Facebook and move on.

A Cambodian restaurant was targeted – Cambodian? Have some consistency! Why are you dragging the Cambodians into it?

Why did it happen?

Ideology
ISIS hate the western way of life and this is really embodied by Paris. They see our way of life as obscene and all that stuff. Paris is the capital of obscenity and prostitution according to them. I’m not even sure that’s accurate. Amsterdam is a bit more obscene isn’t it. That’s not a suggestion by the way.

Also, it’s way to make us submitted to their ideology. The plan is to strike so much fear into our hearts that we take them seriously and stop all our naughty behaviour. They failed didn’t they – we’re still completely convinced that we like music, wine, humour and sex and everything. That’s all still fine. In fact, we’re more aware of it and proud of it than ever. We like democracy, thanks very much, particularly now it is under attack. The attacks have caused a lot of fear and sadness, true, but it’s also making us celebrate our freedom and way of life. People are gathering together, showing solidarity with one another. Normally Parisians can be a bit moody and grumpy. Not this weekend. People are warmer, there’s more of a sense of community. Sure, people are panicky and scared of more violence. But we’re still carrying on. We stand together. Other countries all over the place are showing their solidarity too.

Intolerance of Islam
ISIS see France as a place which is intolerant of Islam, which is not really true. I think you’re free to practice your religion as long as it doesn’t violate the basic human rights of other people in society. As long as you don’t force it on other people then go for it – you can believe whatever you want to believe. That’s your right. Just don’t expect everyone to follow your ideas if you threaten them.

Foreign Policy
France has been launching airstrikes against ISIS targets in Iraq/Syria. These attacks are acts of revenge against that.

French Retribution

France has already launched a large bombing campaign – 10 planes, 20 bombs on Raqqa in Syria, where the HQ of ISIS is. The first target included guns & munitions. The second target was a terrorist training camp. They’ve both been destroyed, according to the French Ministry of Defence. I expect that’s involved multiple casualties – those places are unlikely to be empty are they?

So, instant retribution from France. That’s what happens in war I suppose.

What’s going to happen next?

More attacks, probably and not just in Paris.

Security will be stepped up. France has closed its borders. It’s going to be harder for us to live our lives freely. It may be harder to travel between countries.

The climate change summit is still going ahead. G20 summit too.

The far right parties in Europe will use this as an excuse to impose anti-immigration policy, and to get out of the European Union.

ISIS say they will launch more attacks, which is, of course, worrying.

Security will be stepped up. I hope the French forces really will pay attention and make sure this doesn’t happen again.

The police across different countries are attempting to find out exactly who these guys were. I think there’s one member of the 8 who was not caught, but really – we’re not sure exactly what is going on. It’s all very mysterious.

Final word from The British Humanist Association website:

On the tragic events in Paris: an attack on freedom and human dignity

November 16th, 2015

We live in an uncertain, fragile world.

And yet in this world, there is joy. We find a way, through the hardships of life, the pains, the tribulations, the daily struggles, to make life mean something more.

We socialise. We enjoy the pleasures of music or a good book. We watch films. We play sports. We enjoy a drink, or a meal. We find joy, and happiness, in life itself. And we can do so freely, whatever our tastes may be, so long as we do not harm others.

In a city like Paris, all interests are catered for. It is a city characterised not so much by its politics, architecture, or history as it is by life itself. By joy. By the bustle of humanity. By the diverse preferences and tastes of millions living side by side.

And yet life itself, the joy of living, was the target of Islamic extremists with a burning hatred for these very freedoms on Friday night, killing well over 100 people. They did not attack infrastructure, politicians, military personnel, or sites of historical or cultural significance. They targeted innocent people, going about their lives, trying to make it through this difficult and complicated world with a modicum of fun and lightness. Something we all aspire to.

It was, in every sense, an attack on multiculturalism; an attack on how we find happiness, outside the confines of a strict religious code of submission; an attack on the secular, enlightened spirit embodied by Paris’s vibrant, varied culture.

Our hearts go out to all those affected, over the world. And not just by events in Paris but those in Beirut and Syria and everywhere the cruel hand of extremism is felt.

Today we make one request of you. And it is a simple one.

Enjoy your life.

Make it count.

And don’t let the murderers win.

Our dream is of a tolerant, open society with a secular state ensuring the human rights of everyone, where we can all go about living the kinds of lives we want for ourselves.

That dream, that essential humanist cause, is now more important than ever.

294. California Road Trip (Part 7) Earthquakes & Hippies

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Hello listeners and welcome back. This is part 7 in this series which is based on my recent trip to California. I didn’t expect this to be a 7-part series, but it just keeps going because I’ve found more and more things to talk to you about! It’s like the podcast episode that refuses to die, it keeps coming back for more! It’s like the Lambton Worm or something – just when I think I’ve finished it off, it gets longer! I think this will be the last episode, but who knows. Time seems to shrink when I’m recording episodes of this podcast. An hour seems to disappear in just a few minutes because I get really involved in what I’m saying. I wonder if it’s the same experience for you. I hope so.

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If you haven’t heard the previous 6 episodes in this series then I suggest you go back and listen to them first. So far I’ve talked about lots of things including the history of California, some British & American English, Venice Beach, Segways, Baywatch, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Hollywood & Celebrity Culture, Hotel California by The Eagles, Yosemite National Park, bears, The church of Scientology, an interview with AJ Hoge from Effortless English, a biography of Robin Williams, and descriptions of the things I did and saw while on my honeymoon with my wife.

In this episode I’m planning to talk about San Francisco, earthquakes, the hippie movement, customer service, the California coast and some more British and American English vocabulary.

A lot of what I am saying is transcribed on the page for this episode at teacherluke.co.uk. Look for episode 294.

*I’m expecting a package to be delivered by the postman at some point, so you might hear a knock at the door or the buzzer. It goes ‘buzz’, so it’s not a doorbell it’s a buzzer.*

Let’s get straight into it.

August 16
Cemetery & view of Golden Gate Bridge.

Fisherman’s Wharf & tourist area. Sea lions that weirdly arrived in the harbour just after the 1989 earthquake. Why did they suddenly arrive after the quake? Perhaps their previous social spot had been damaged or something like that. I’m not sure.

Cable car. Long delay and pretty grumpy service but it’s a great experience, hanging on to the side of the car as the driver pulls various weird levers, making the car move up and along the steep streets. We met an American couple who had been married for over 30 years. The wife did all the talking. Apparently they’d been to a Giants game (baseball) and he had caught a loose ball that had flown into the crowd. Apparently this is quite an honour in the states. You can keep the ball.

I met AJ Hoge in the afternoon. Listen to the previous episode for that interview.

That evening we ate dinner in a really well-reviewed Japanese restaurant just near our hotel – Sanraku – incredible sushi! This is the best Japanese food I’ve ever had outside Japan, and I had a load of sake and a couple of beers. Sake is really nice and a little dangerous to drink because you get drunk without realising it because it has such a light taste.

August 17
Earthquake in the morning!
A bit about earthquakes.
Tectonic plates.
They move against each other. Sometimes they overlap, sometimes they press against each other.
Sometimes pressure builds up and then the plates suddenly move at the fault lines. This causes ripples of movement through the ground, or the whole ground to suddenly shift position. The movements, ripples, vibrations or whatever you want to call them can last some time, and they can cause huge amounts of damage.
If the quake happens off-shore, then there’s likely to be a big tidal wave or tsunami after the event. As the ground is displaced very quickly, it can displace massive amounts of water. For example, it might cause the water level to rise suddenly. Imagine filling a plate with water and then tipping the plate slightly. It would cause some of the water to run off the side of the plate. It’s like that but on a much larger scale of course. The water has so much volume and mass that it is almost impossible to stop. When it reaches the land it carries lots of earth and all kinds of detritus with it, turning the wave into an incredibly powerful and unstoppable wall of destruction. You can see footage of this from the Japanese tsunami of 2011. What a tragedy that was (although the Japanese showed characteristic strength and determination in the way they recovered from it).

It pretty much impossible to predict an earthquake, but it seems that along the San Andreas fault at this particular spot near San Francisco, there is a really big earthquake every 70 years or something, and the big one is long overdue. In fact, the whole region of California is subject to earthquakes quite regularly.

Earthquake Myths and Facts
Here are some myths and facts about earthquakes, from the U.S. Geological Society website.
http://www.usgs.gov/faq/taxonomy/term/9830

San Francisco style
Everyone’s wearing sports gear and they’re all really health conscious. They’re constantly in their gym gear and they look very active and healthy. In fact, being healthy and looking after yourself seem to be important aspects of life in this part of the country.

Acai bowls
My wife persuades me to switch to these instead of the big plates of pancakes and its a good move.
Acai are berries that grow in Brazil and apparently they contain everything you need. Vitamins, nutrients, amino acids and all that stuff. These acai bowls are popular all along the coast. They’re a bit hipsterish, but they’re good. The acai berries are turned into a kind of powder, which is mixed with things like almond milk or hemp milk, and frozen fruits, and then blended to form a sort of sorbet. This is then put into a bowl and mixed with granola, nuts, cut banana and strawberry, and is topped with coconut flakes or other things. They’re really good and they keep you going for ages without making you feel bloated. In fact, you don’t feel that full, but you’re not hungry either, and it gives you plenty of energy and no guilt.

My wife is now on a mission to make acai bowls popular in Paris!

Haight Ashbury
We then walked towards the Haight Ashbury area. The plan is to walk all the way over to that part of town, picking up some coffee on route. Then we’d walk through HA, pick up lunch at Wholefoods there, and eat a picnic in Golden Gate Park where apparently there is live music every Sunday. I’m quite curious about Haight Ashbury, because I’ve heard about it and read about it so many times, especially in documentaries about music and art from the 1960s.

History of Haight Ashbury & the Hippy Movement
What happened in Haight Ashbury in the 60s? What was the hippy movement all about?

There was a counterculture movement, a youth movement in the USA (and in many other places of course) that started in the late 1950s but really gathered momentum in the 1960s, seemed to peak in the middle of that decade, and was pretty much over by the early 1970s. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, as I know that a lot of you listening to this are fans of the music that we associate with that time, and you may well know as much about this subject as I do, but nevertheless here is a brief history of the hippy movement.

This was a subculture and ideological movement which started with the beatniks earlier in the decade. “Beatniks” – that’s kind of a nickname given to the movement that came before the hippies. The beatniks were writers, artists, intellectuals and radicals who were united in a general feeling of dissatisfaction with the status quo. They rejected materialism (e.g. the idea that happiness in the USA can be found by marrying, getting a steady job, buying the right home with the right car, and the right modern accessories in your home and all that kind of square thinking). The Beats were more interested in soul-searching and trying to find some deeper meaning to life. This seems pretty normal now, and part of the dominant culture these days. Everyone has their soul-searching teenage period where they write a diary, write poetry and get all deep and meaningful. Well, that was common for teenagers of my generation in the UK, who got into indie music, started dressing like goths and smoked self-rolled cigarettes. The beats were the first to do that (although I expect there were other movements in Europe that did essentially the same thing, like the Bohemians). The Beats were heavily inspired by jazz musicians like Charlie Parker and Miles Davis and like this kind of jazz music, life for the Beats was a free-form search for truth and inspiration in the creative process. It was like a big improvisation with no boundaries. Sounds pretty groovy, hip and cool right? In fact those are words that come out of that time. All of them were probably coined by jazz musicians, but the beat generation appropriated them, or at least used them too. So, if things were good they were ‘cool’, or ‘hip’. You ‘dig’ things which are ‘cool’. The opposite of ‘cool’ was ‘square’.

We associate the Beat movement with certain writers, who are called the Beat writers, or Beat poets. These are people like Jack Kerouac, Allan Ginsberg, William S Burroughs and Ken Kesey. Some of the beats were into buddhism, sexual liberation and drug use. Out of this subculture came the hippies, who pretty much based their whole way of life on the ethos of the beat generation, and used books like “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac as a starting point for their own rejection of materialism and ‘normal’ life.

The word ‘hippie’ comes from the word ‘hip’, meaning ‘cool’ or in tune with this way of thinking. People also used the word ‘hipster’, but now we know we use the word ‘hipster’ for another kind of modern subculture – those uber-cool people who you find in East London who grow their own denim butter, have long beards and skinny jeans, use no electricity, ride fixie bikes, reject mainstream products in favour of vintage or handmade stuff, reject the dominant political system, and live in an apartment paid for by their rich parents. They’re similar to the beat generation or the hippies but today’s hipsters just seem to be more interested in just being cooler and more culturally aware than everyone else, and don’t have the same sort of communal spirit or mission as the hippies did.

Anyway, a whole generation of young people in the USA and in other parts of the world in the 1960s were really influenced by the beat generation and took on their values, and pushed them further – not everyone did this – not everyone at the time was a hippie. No, it was a subculture after all, but enough people lived the lifestyle for it to be a significant cultural movement. The hippies took it a bit further and embraced the whole concept, forming communes (shared living communities) in certain places – notably Haight Ashbury in SF and Greenwich Village in NYC (where the likes of Bob Dylan were playing protest songs and folk music in cafes).

The introduction of certain drugs, especially LSD into these communities really accelerated the whole movement, along with certain key events like the escalating conflict in Vietnam and the release of records like Bob Dylan’s first album, and albums by the Beatles. LSD was a drug that was created by accident by a pharmacist/chemist. It ended up being appropriated by the hippie movement because of the way it gave users incredibly transcendent mind trips, which made the hippies feel like they were experiencing things on a whole new level of consciousness. The innocence, youth, energy and vitality of this movement peaked in 1966/1967 particularly in the community of Haight Ashbury where, according to the accounts of lots of people, there were all kinds of open, free gatherings of people who took LSD, danced, made love and generally were very peaceful and transcendent, when they weren’t organising protests against the Vietnam war or other injustices. The hippies were for harmony with nature, sexual liberation, the use of drugs for mental liberation (aka consciousness revolution), peace, free love, communal living and eastern influenced spirituality. For the hippies, their immense optimism, fuelled by psychedelic drugs and perhaps a certain amount of naive idealism created the feeling that their love was going to change the world, and that there would be a sort of consciousness revolution which would cause the whole world to realise a totally new way of thinking and to start living in peace. The soundtrack to this period was albums like Sargent Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band by the Beatles. The thing is though, all the drug taking and free love did not come without a price, and it was naive of the hippies to think that their lifestyle was sustainable. True spiritual transcendence could not be achieved by simply taking a 2 dollar hit of acid, and many people just ended up mentally damaged by their use of LSD, and when harder and more addictive drugs like heroin arrived, the scene became much darker. In fact, hard drugs and other things like the later threat of AIDS pretty much killed the innocence and youthful spirit of the movement.

The optimism of the hippie movement and its decline were really well described by writer Hunter S. Thompson in his book Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas. There is one particularly famous passage in which he describes the essence of the movement as like a wave that travelled across the country, then broke and flowed back again, leaving a sort of cultural high-water mark, or a cultural mark on the country. This is probably Thompson’s most celebrated bit of writing. There is a film version of the book, directed by Terry Gilliam and starring Johnny Depp, who does an amazing acting performance in the role of the main character, who is a version of Hunter S. Thompson. Let’s listen to the scene from the film when Thompson talks about Haight Ashbury and the hippie movement. This is Hunter S. Thompson, played by Depp, in 1971, looking back at the previous 5 or 6 years, surveying what had happened before.

Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas – The High Water Mark

The Woodstock Music Festival was probably the culmination of this whole movement. It didn’t take place in San Francisco, but near New York. That was a massive happening, with hundreds of thousands of people who gathered together to celebrate love and peace, with some of the great bands and musicians of the time, like The Who, Jimi Hendrix and Crosby, Stills & Nash playing the soundtrack.

The end of the dream came with a few events that showed the dark side of all that drug taking and chaos – Charles Manson, Altamont (a Rolling Stones concert that involved the Hell’s Angels who killed a guy), hard drugs and their damaging effects, AIDs.

How does this relate to that Eagles song? They’re singing about people damaged by loss of innocence – the same people who used to be idealistic, but ended up lost in decadence and the temptations of sex, drugs and rock & roll.

Talking of rock & roll, let’s listen to George Harrison, who of course was a member of the Beatles and someone who was at the heart of this whole scene. Here he is from the Beatles Anthology documentary talking about how he visited Haight Ashbury in 1968 expecting it to be a kind of hippie heaven of peace and love, but in fact by 1968 it had become quite a scary place with lots of people just living in the street, begging and taking hard drugs (he described them as ‘bums’). I think it was quite a shock to him and that’s when he decided to stop taking LSD and he sort of rejected the hippie movement and instead chose to embrace Indian transcendental meditation – a much more disciplined and well-established form of spiritual exercise.

George Harrison (originally from Liverpool, UK) – Haight Ashbury 1968

What’s Haight Ashbury like now?
It still has that general atmosphere, but the original feeling is long gone I think. But it’s still a really cool place, and I was very interested in visiting it in order to see what it was really like. Now it’s artisanal coffee shops, a mix of branded clothing stores and unique clothing boutiques. Really it’s just another tourist destination where you can buy Bob Marley posters, hippie clothing, bongs, pipes and fake retro t-shirts. It’s a bit like Camden Town or something. It’s not a genuine place of consciousness revolution any more although there are still some communes of hippies living there and I think that there’s a lot of housing which is offered to homeless people, or people of no fixed address. In the surrounding streets I saw quite a few homeless people, or homeless looking people and people who seemed to be suffering from mental illness, or on medication for drug addiction. You also find some interesting murals painted on the walls with anti-capitalist messages written on them. That’s partly the feeling of the area, but also there’s a sense that the place is a bit of a tourist attraction. There’s Nike store there for example, which is like a temple to individualism and materialism.

Many people think that the place is not what it used to be. I can’t help feeling a bit sad about this, because the hippies were onto something good. Their intentions were good, but maybe they were idealistic and naive. Maybe they were reckless with their drug use and their free sex, or maybe their movement got crushed by the establishment. Anyway, now in Haight Ashbury there are just remnants of those old values. Lots of organic shops and incense and stuff like that, and certainly some people who believe in ethical and sustainable living, but still a sense of increasing commercialisation. I wonder about some of the locals who have lived in the area for a long time and who now find themselves living in a commercialised tourist attraction.

I think I may have come across one of these people during a visit to CVS – a chain of pharmacies that you find all over the USA. We went in to buy some bottled water. We chose one bottle of Californian water and one bottle of Fiji Water, which is bottled in Fiji and then shipped to shops around the world, including California. We got to the counter to pay and the middle-aged woman who served us just said, in a very passive aggressive manner, “Yeah, why NOT buy bottled water from the other side of the world”.

I recognised the sarcasm, and immediately felt judged. What was she really saying?

Guilt trip! This made me feel pretty bad for a while, until I snapped out of it.

What do you think? I expect most of you are thinking – ignore her, she was being really rude! And you’re right, but…

I think she had a point to be honest, but I’m not sure if she made it in the right way. (I mean, giving someone a guilt trip about a product they are selling someone may not be the best way to get your message across, or maybe it is – it had an effect on me!) The woman was certainly rude to me, but does that matter if her point is valid? I wonder what it must be like for her working in CVS, while having these values. Maybe she doesn’t have to work there, maybe she has no choice. Who knows. I don’t even know her background, but just that one comment tells me a lot. What do you think? Did she have a point? Is it wrong to buy bottled water which is sourced in another country? Should the woman have said something to me? Is she a hypocrite for working in the shop even when she disagrees with some of the products it sells? Let me know your thoughts as usual.

I did have another couple of experiences with slightly passive aggressive, weird behaviour.
Another guy by the side of the road who seems to be homeless, tried to attract my attention: “Oh did you drop something…hey!” I just kind of shook my head and smiled a bit, but said no. He said “oh no it’s just my brain entrails you’re stepping on” There is a slightly bad vibe from some of these old hippies, but nothing more than that really. I didn’t feel unsafe there or anything, just a bit freaked out by some of these people.

In the park there was a guy who could have been homeless, or mentally ill, I’m not sure really. He was busking, and by busking in this case I mean playing classic American songs, like Motown, The Beach Boys, Elvis on a loud tape player and just singing along – loudly and badly, like a bad public version of karaoke that nobody wanted to listen to. There were three youngish people sitting on the bench next to him, looking pretty awkward because this guy was pretty loud and acting quite crazily and I think it was a bit off-putting for them. After a while they got up to leave and didn’t really acknowledge him or give him any money, and he said “Hey, thanks for the tip!” – A pretty passive aggressive comment considering they hadn’t given him a tip. I think they were a bit put off and possibly slightly scared of him, and they didn’t respond but kept walking away. He repeated, louder and louder “Hey, thanks for the TIP!! HEY THANKS FOR THE TIP!!!” – a slightly disturbing moment, but nothing bad actually happened.

Despite some of these little scenes had a really nice relaxing time in Golden Gate Park, even though there was no music when we were there, except for the “thanks for the tip” guy. We lay on the grass reading and napping a bit, digesting our food.

More Audiobook Recommendations – www.audibletrial.com/teacherluke
Let’s continue to look at a few recommendations for California-related audiobooks you could download free by going to www.audibletrial.com/teacherluke

The two books I’d like to recommend are associated with the Beat movement of American literature, which was so important to the values of the later hippy movement.

“On The Road” by Jack Kerouac
This is probably the book which inspired the hippy movement more than any other. This is what is written in the summary for this book on audible.com: Few novels have had as profound an impact on American culture as On the Road. Pulsating with the rhythms of 1950s underground America, jazz, sex, illicit drugs, and the mystery and promise of the open road, Kerouac’s classic novel of freedom and longing defined what it meant to be “beat” and has inspired generations of writers, musicians, artists, poets, and seekers who cite their discovery of the book as the event that “set them free”.

Do you fancy listening to an actor read that book to you? Visit www.audibletrial.com/teacherluke to sign up to a trial membership. You can download any audiobook you want, and then either cancel your membership and keep the audiobook, or continue as a member and enjoy more audiobooks every month.

“One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” by Ken Kesey
Ken Kesey was part of a group of writers called The Merry Pranksters, which also included a man called Neal Cassady who was one of the inspirations for a principle character in On The Road. Kesey and the Merry Pranksters were a group who advocated a particular way of life that inspired the hippy movement. The Merry Pranksters sounded like a cool and funny bunch of people. They drove around America in a big bus. That was the inspiration for The Beatles “Magical Mystery Tour” film. Basically, Ken Kesey is a very important figure in the American counter cultural movement of the 1960s. A key writer in the Beat generation. Beat writers like Kesey influenced so many important cultural figures that followed them, including pretty much all of the famous rock musicians who emerged from the 60s and 70s, including The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Doors, The Byrds, Neil Young and everyone else basically. They’re the ones who defined that whole lifestyle that is now so globally pervasive.

“One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” is the story of a charismatic criminal who ends up in a mental hospital when he’s not really mentally ill. He fakes it in order to avoid prison, thinking it will be much easier. What he discovers is that the mental institute is far more sinister than he’d imagined, and he ends up in a great mental power struggle against the strict nurse who runs the hospital. It’s all about the corrupting nature of power, about fighting against the establishment, about the fine line between sanity and insanity, and the idea there is something rotten at the heart of the American administration. What’s more, it’s just a great dramatic story, terrifically well written with some fantastic surprises. The main character is a lot of fun, and the evil Nurse Ratched is a great villain.
It’s sad, joyful, moving, and powerful, particularly at the end. There’s also a great film of this book, starring Jack Nicholson.
You can download the original version, narrated by Kesey himself (abridged and only 3-4 hours), but I recommend the 50th Anniversary Edition read by actor John C. Reilly (who I’m sure you’d recognise if you saw him – he’s a brilliant actor, with a really distinctive voice). It’s unabridged, so you get the whole book which comes to 10+ hours of audio.

End of Part 7. Part 8 coming soon, and I’m sure it will be the final chapter in this series. :)

292. California Road Trip (Part 5) Scientology / Meeting a Bear in Yosemite / The Trek Gone Wrong!

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Hi listeners, I hope all’s well. Here’s part 5 in this series which I’m doing about my California road trip. In this episode I’m hoping to talk about these things: The Church of Scientology, Yosemite National Park and our slightly dramatic adventure there, more British and American English, and if time I’ll talk to you about San Francisco, where among other things I met and interviewed AJ Hoge. So let’s get started. [In fact I only managed to talk about Scientology and the Yosemite experience – British & American English, and AJ Hoge will be in the next episode].

[DOWNLOAD]
Periscope Live Broadcast
While recording this I’m also doing a live-stream on Periscope. You might be thinking – oh, I wish I’d known about that, I would have watched it! You can watch the videos of the live feed here: (and there’s about 45 minutes of extra stuff in the videos that you don’t hear on the podcast)

The Road Trip Continues… 11 August
Prepare to drive to Yosemite – we go to CVS and stock up on water and other supplies, program the SatNav (GPS) to take us via Bakersfield and Fresno, then up Highway 41 into Yosemite, where we have managed to book a spot in a camping ground. We’re both really looking forward to being in the fresh air in the mountains.

Before leaving we stop for breakfast in a recommended cafe where they do awesome pancakes with whipped cream, maple syrup and free refills of coffee. We park the car and walk up the street and then suddenly come across a huge imposing blue building. It’s massive and weirdly painted bright blue. It’s the headquarters of the Church of Scientology. At this point I’d like to talk a little bit about Scientology, which I consider to be a fascinating and (here’s that word again) mysterious aspect of California life.

What’s the Church of Scientology?
Here’s a recording I made at that moment.
Play the first recording.

It’s a religion, and quite a controversial one. Some people call it a cult. Some of its members are famous celebrities like Tom Cruise and John Travolta. Apparently the church has a lot of influence in Hollywood, and lots of people think it’s really weird and secretive. There are even suggestions that the church has been involved in criminal activity, threats – again these are just allegations, but it’s pretty mysterious and fascinating, like something from a mystery novel.

I recently saw a really interesting documentary about Scientology, called “Going Clear” in which lots of ex-members (people who decided to leave) of the church explain what it’s really like, and they don’t say very positive things. In fact the documentary seems to suggest that it’s a power-hungry cult which takes money from its members and threatens them with retribution if they try to leave. There are also suggestions that the church committed crimes like burglary, theft and intimidation in order to avoid having to pay a huge tax bill to the US government. Bold claims indeed. What’s really going on in this blue building?

A brief history of Scientology
This time I’m going to paraphrase a summary of Scientology that I’ve found on the “For Dummies” website. “For Dummies” is a series of books that help to explain various complex subjects in simple terms. You might know the series – they have distinctive yellow covers. It’s a really good series and they have books on almost every subject. A quick look at the For Dummies series on Audible shows titles like… (read some titles).

Recently I’ve been listening to the audiobook version of “British History for Dummies”, and it’s really good and yes I got that from Audible. You can get it too if you want – just click an audible button on my site or go to www.audibletrial.com/teacherluke and sign up for a trial and you can get a free audiobook. You could choose one of the “For Dummies…” books. Just search Audible for “For Dummies” and you can see all the books available.

Anyway, For Dummies also have a website with clear and fairly brief summaries. So, let’s check out the summary for Scientology. You can check the link here: http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/what-is-scientology.html
So, what I’m about to say is based on information in that summary, but also what I learned from the Scientology pamphlets I’ve read and what I learned from several documentaries I’ve seen.

The church was set up in 1953 by a writer called L. Ron Hubbard. Hubbard was already fairly successful as a writer of both science fiction stories, and then self-help books. His most successful self-help book explored the relationship between body and mind, and he called it Dianetics. This book became the basis of the religion he then set up called Scientology. Some critics say that Diabetics is just quackery (not proper science or psychiatry) he only set this up as a religion because it was a tax-dodge. In the USA religions don’t have to pay tax, so Hubbard is criticised for having a cynical reason for making his religion in the first place – so that he could make money, or worse – that he was just power-hungry. Whatever the reason, Scientology was set up as a religion in the USA.

Hubbard is loved by the Scientologists, but viewed with a lot more suspicion by many non-members of the church. For example, the French government, who considered him to be a fraudster and tried to convict him of customs violations in the 1970s. “Britain, Greece, Spain, Portugal, and Venezuela all closed their ports to his fleet in the 70s. At one point, a court in Australia revoked the church’s status as a religion.” (Wikipedia page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L._Ron_Hubbard#Life_in_hiding) These are all reasons why he went into hiding in 1970. To go into hiding means to leave the place where you live and go to a place where nobody can find you. He was the leader of the church right up until he died in 1986.

What do Scientologists do?
You can walk into a Scientology centre in many cities in the world now, and have a counselling session. In fact you might be invited in for one. When I used to live in London I used to walk past the Scientology centre in central London and they would sometimes as me if I wanted a stress-test. I always said no because I felt it was just a way for them to get me into the centre. I imagined it would be like this:
“Hi, are you feeling a bit stressed today? Would you like a free stress test?”
and then you go in and they check you out and tell you that you’re feeling all stressed out and that stress is really harmful and that they have all the solutions to how to combat stress and live a more effective life – and it’s Scientology. “Here’s a leaflet” or “Would you like to sign up to a course?” and then you’re in.

Sounds okay doesn’t it? I expect it is helpful at the beginning, for many people. It’s just not for me.

A counselling session at the church is called an audit. Essentially, this is a bit like a psychotherapy session. You’re invited to share deeply personal things in order to free yourself from emotional burdens. It sounds a bit like Freudian psychoanalysis doesn’t it? In fact Scientology completely rejects psychoanalysis. Apparently, Scientology is the only way. During these auditing sessions you are hooked up to a machine which is called an E-meter. According to scientology this can measure your thoughts, well – it’s not just as simple as ‘thoughts’ – apparently it’s related to immortal spirits from space which inhabit our bodies and prevent us from living a healthy and happy life. Auditing allows us to set these spirits free, which makes us feel better. Critics say the e-meter just measures electromagnetic energy in your hands and is no more revealing about your mind than a crude lie detector test. But, according to Scientology if an e-meter is used by a Scientology minster then it really works. Freeing yourself from levels of emotional burden in these auditing sessions is called going clear, and there are different stages of clarity. In order to achieve those levels of clarity you need to do more and more audits, share more and more personal problems, and also contribute more and more things to the church. This costs quite a lot of money as courses of auditing are not cheap, and all of this goes to the church, and also all the private and personal things you’ve said in auditing sessions are recorded and kept by the church. The aim is to free yourself of all your emotional burdens and achieve a state of perfect clarity. Apparently the church of Scientology is very rich as they have purchased some incredible pieces of real estate around the world, such as this massive building in Los Angeles. It’s not clear exactly how much power they have. Some say they exert some influence in Hollywood’s entertainment industry.

What do Scientologists believe?
Scientologists believe that people are in fact just receptacles for immortal spirits which came down to earth many years ago. The church doesn’t like it if these spirits are called aliens. Because, it sounds bad if you believe in aliens. It sounds a bit mad doesn’t it. So let’s not call them aliens. Apparently, these immortal ‘spirits’ live within us. They’re trapped inside us, and they can only be freed by going through auditing sessions, until you get to the top of level of clarity when I guess the aliens, sorry spirits go somewhere else. I’m not sure of the details of what happens to the spirits, or if we are the spirits, or what they look like.

OK, fair enough I suppose! We’re all entitled to our beliefs. What’s so controversial about them?
Here’s what’s written on the page from Scientology for Dummies, by Scott Barnes: http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/what-is-scientology.html

Scientology is one of the most controversial religious movements of our time. Many people reduce their world view to nothing more than a cult that brainwashes its members and then fleeces (cons) them by charging outrageous fees for some auditing classes. Critics lambast the church for its rejection of established psychiatry, and many people take issue with the church’s “Celebrity Centres,” which are facilities that are technically open to the public but primarily serve the most famous Scientologists in the arts, sports, and government (think Tom Cruise, Isaac Hayes, and Nancy Cartwright).

Reports from some who have left the Church of Scientology are even more incriminating and include stories of church members being held for years against their wills at “rehabilitation camps” for violating certain policies, or sending members to go through the trash of the church’s critics and former members to find material to blackmail them into silence. In 1979, several Scientology members were convicted for participating in the largest theft of government documents in U.S. history. Scientologists have also been accused of tampering with witnesses in court cases and even murder.

In response to these claims, Scientologists state that their religion is genuine and that the movement has been distorted, and that they are being persecuted.

Among the criticisms are: Scientology preys upon people who want to make it in Hollywood by suggesting that they can help, then they force them to stay in the church with the suggestion that they can harm their careers due to their extensive connections in the business, they illegally resisted an investigation into their accounts by the IRS (the US tax office), they bully their members and they blackmail high-profile members like Tom Cruise and John Travolta into staying in the church – remember the church has recordings of all those extensive and deeply personal auditing sessions. These are all allegations and criticisms which have been made against the church – not necessarily my thoughts. I haven’t decided what I think of them yet and I’m just curious.

Is it possible that all of this sinister stuff is going in within these imposing blue buildings that we saw? I wonder…

Play the second recording.

I decided I’d try and talk to someone. I felt a bit excited and a bit nervous because I know the church can be a bit touchy about people doing recordings or making documentaries about them, which I guess is understandable. Anyway, I decided that I wanted to talk to someone so I went over to some of the people in uniform who were walking around the building. I spoke to a woman who was very nice and normal, of course. I told her I was making a holiday diary, and that I had just come across the building and wanted to interview someone about it. She took me into the building and I spoke to someone in reception. I made a recording afterwards.

Play the third recording.

What do you think about Scientology?
The woman I spoke to seemed very happy and proud to be working at the organisation. The place looked very smart and clean. Many members of the church say that it has helped them a lot. But what about all these allegations? Tell me what you think? Is the church a cult? Is it a force for good? Is there a church of Scientology in your country? What do you think?

Yosemite National Park
Yosemite is a huge national park, and probably one of the most stunning parks in the world. Most of the tourism there is centred on Yosemite Valley, which is full of meadows, a river and pine trees, and some accommodation and camping grounds. Around the valley you have incredible granite rock formations including stunning mountains. There are granite rock faces like El Capitan, Half Dome, Sentinel Dome and so on, also some of the highest waterfalls in the world. The whole thing combines to be a stunning place to spend time camping, cycling, hiking or rock climbing and it is visited by about 5 million people per year. There are a few roads that go round the central part of the park surrounding the valley. 95% of the park is wilderness and hardly any people go there except experienced hikers, climbers and campers. You might know Yosemite from the Apple Mac operating system. At the time I’m recording this podcast, the most recent OS for mac is Yosemite (I believe the next one is called El Capitan – also a rock face in Yosemite National Park). So if you have a Mac with Yosemite, you’ve probably seem desktop images of the place. It’s absolutely stunning. Being there is a bit like being inside your own Apple Mac, but obviously much much better than that because nothing can compare to seeing it with your own eyes.

We drove out of LA and the through back end of the Hollywood hills. Handsome countryside with a highway which is great for driving. But the land soon becomes flat boring farmland. The driving is fun in the Camaro, which comes into its own on the open highway (which is rarely open because of all the cars). I realise that I’ve hardly put my for down the whole time. Most of the driving in LA has been slow cruising or edging forwards in traffic.
I floor the Camaro with some space ahead and it reveals masses of hidden power, roaring and leaping forwards with yet more revs all the time. It seems to have about 9 gears and they’re all RAAAAA!
We eat up the highway and eventually arrive in Fresno after about 4 hours. Fresno, aka Mall-land. It seems to be one giant shopping mall. I guess we’re in the commercial district but there is just open mall after open mall. We pick one with a Wholefoods and get sushi, which is not that great. Wholefoods is like Mecca to us. London has a few, Paris none.
What’s great about Wholefoods?
They’re normal in USA but this one isn’t that great, or maybe the expectation was too high.
It’s freezing inside and boiling outside.
We wander around mall-land looking for supplies.
Then the drive to Yosemite in the mid/late afternoon. A couple of hours.
The landscape gets more and more interesting as we climb up and up the winding highway. Wonderful driving and lovely smell of pine cones and pine trees. We drive with the windows open and the sun on our faces through the trees.
Eventually we’re in Yosemite and we glimpse views of stunning granite formations but keep going. We go into a tunnel and on the other side (tunnel view) the whole valley opens out on the left side. It’s my Mac desktop but we’re actually there. Can’t see properly from the Camaro. Terrible visibility.
After an hour of driving in a daze we arrive at our campsite.
Describe the tents.
Friendly atmosphere. Our tent is situated pretty well.
There are strict regulations about bears.

Black Bears in Yosemite
This is bear country and they are all around the park. They come out at night to go on missions into the valley to get food.
Apparently they have over 2x the sense of smell of a bloodhound, are very intelligent and more curious and confident than dogs, they have huge claws and padded hairy feet which make them silent. You must not keep any food or scented products in the tent or car. Everything has to be in the bear boxes which are very sturdy, made of metal and bolted to the ground. Apparently if you leave food out and then turn your back, they can appear and start feeding. Apparently at night, all the black bears head down into the valley under the cover of darkness. Slightly scary.
Naturally it’s pretty exciting to be sleeping in a basic hut with just a curtain separating us in bed and the bears which I imagine to be wandering around our tents at night.
I don’t have to imagine much because that night a bear has a go at the bear box just next to our tent. I hear it trying to open the box before moving on to try another one and another one. I later hear two people walking past talking about the bear they’ve seen. I was frozen solid in bed the whole time.
Apparently if you come across one you should shout at it angrily to try and scare it away.
I wonder what I would shout at it.
What should you say to a bear? What’s the appropriate thing?
I wouldn’t want to be too rude but at the same time it would be necessary to talk in rather strong terms.
I suppose indirect language wouldn’t work.
You have to be direct and clear, yet reasonable.
I’m joking of course. I think I would just scream at it and swear and say any old nonsense.
I imagine some of you would be a bit cooler.
Not me – I’m from the UK. We killed all our bears years ago, and made them fight dogs and other cruel things.
I imagine that any bear meeting me and hearing my London accent would not be that friendly.
So, no need to be cool. Freaking out and panicking is the order of the day here.
The place has a lovely summer camp, hippie Boy Scout feel to it, although it’s a bit crowded and there are lots of kids. It would be nice to have the place to ourselves of course but that’s impossible.
Dinner in the Yosemite Lodge down the road. Modest canteen food. Bought some tourist stuff like a cap and some playing cards.
Then bed after making sure all food and smelly stuff is in the reinforced box, then draw the canvas curtains – definitely not reinforced. Tie them with a good knot. Will it make a difference?
Of course bears won’t be interested in us, but apparently they’re really curious. We’re wearing mosquito repellent coil things. They’re quite interesting and smelly. Maybe a bear will find it interesting.
I would. “Oh what’s that on your wrist” – would the bear equivalent of that be “roar! Let me poke my head into your tent and bite your arm off, or just maul you a bit (because that’s what large dangerous animals do, they maul you).
Slept pretty well in the open air, despite these thoughts in my head and an actual bear or two outside the tent. Had to go to the loo in the night. I did so, noisily, checking the toilet quickly for any bears that might be in there hanging out or whatever. I did my business and had to look over the top of the door before leaving the cubicle, just to make sure there wasn’t a huge bear waiting for me. But it’s all fine.

12 August
Breakfast in the canteen and then a day in the park.
Stayed on the valley floor on bikes. Packed lunches. Wanted to hike but closed. Apparently there was a fire up there.
Amazing seeing the granite up there. Gave me the desire to climb, but that’s not an option without climbing buddies, and my wife hasn’t really done it before. Bikes are a bit awkward – beach cruiser type things. Mountain bikes would have been better. Still, it’s very peaceful and incredibly fresh. Sunshine and cycling are quite tiring so we end up chilling by the river.
I’m a bit worried about tomorrow. What can we do that’s fun and takes advantage of the proper rugged landscape without being too challenging?

That night I drive us back up to Tunnel Point to see the sunset. We end up staying to look up at the stars, lying on our backs. It’s immensely beautiful as there is hardly any light pollution, so the stars are all revealed in their glory. Millions and millions of tiny points of light. Our galaxy the milky way is so rich that it appears to be like a mist across the sky, but in fact it’s a dense collection of many many stars. We see constellations like Orion’s belt and the plough. Driving back through the valley my wife sleeps in the passenger seat and I stop the car again to lie on the bonnet and look up at the stars some more, but I get totally freaked out by the total darkness around me! We sleep soundly that night, ready for a pretty early start in the morning.

13 August
Early start.
Big breakfast.
Coach trip up to Granite Point. Driver very amusing. 26 years and he has perfected his routine. Full of jokes and dry humour and the story of Yosemite. (What’s the story)
Native Americans.
Granite Point.
Panoramic views and start hike.
Some concern over the preparedness, but in fact we’re well prepared. Our shoes are not climbing shoes, but I think some of that is just marketing, and anyway some of the more recent climbing shoes don’t have ankle protection. 8 miles of hike, mostly downhill. Some uphill bits. Some tricky steps. Should take 4-6 hours.
We do the first 3-4 miles without problem except my wife rolls her heel slightly on a rock. As she’s walking she steps on a small rock, and her heel flexes a bit to the right as her foot slips slightly. I worry for a moment if she’s sprained it but she says she’s fine and carries on.
Amazing views.
Stop at Nevada falls, dip our feet in the pools of cold water, chill out and eat sandwiches.
Time to leave and my wife’s ankle has ceased up completely.
Very painful to walk on and we face 5 miles of downhill trekking. Should take a couple of hours normally but it takes us about half and hour to do about half a mile. She’s holding my hand and using me as a crutch. We have to stop. We’re stuck.
Lots of people stop to ask if we’re ok. People are amazingly nice.
Two women called Jenny and Susan stop. Apparently they’ve just done a training course in safety and first aid.

They take our situation seriously and give us water and food, and then call search and rescue for us. I feel bad for not having done this earlier. Anyway, search and rescue take a full description of the injury and say they’ve sent a ranger up to meet us. Suddenly we’re in a kind of emergency rescue situation with the authorities involved. My wife in particular is gutted and embarrassed. They tell us not to move. We wait for about an hour and then the ranger arrives. Apparently he was on the trail already but he made good time to get to us. I’ve bound my wife’s leg in a bandage given to us J and S. The ranger has crutches and more supplies of water and food. He also has material to give the foot support with a splint.

According to him we should climb back up and then down another way. We realise this is going to take us hours and hours of slow and painful movement for my wife. She’s really pissed off and sorry. So am I.

We walk back the way we’ve come, up to the waterfalls again and it’s slow going. Poor wife has to struggle with crutches or one crutch and my shoulder. Very slow. A 2-3 hour trek looks set to take 5-6 hours. That’s a long time for my wife to hobble along a rocky trail up and downhill on crutches with one ankle in pain and unable to take her weight.
But she’s brave and determined. Every time Josh or I asks if she wants to take a break she says “non!”
She’s determined to get down the trail to the bottom, as quickly as possible.

Describe the trail and the things we saw.
Peregrine Falcons nesting above us.
We talk to Josh and he tells us various things:
There are about 5 fatalities from accidents per year.
That sounds like a lot, as if it’s a really dangerous place, but when you consider that about 5 million people visit every year it’s only 1 in a million who die. Imagine London with its 7 million residents. How many deaths are there in London per year? A lot more. So which is the more dangerous – trekking in Yosemite or cycling to work in London?
Nevertheless, there have been some pretty gruesome accidents, usually as a result of stupid tourists who have no sense of safety or no respect for the nature of the park.
Apparently one of the most common forms of death by accident is from people falling over the waterfalls and falling hundreds of feet to their death on the rocks below.
Apparently they jump around on the huge boulders at the edge of the waterfalls with their cameras and selfie sticks, edging forward trying to get the perfect photo or selfie and they edge forward a little too far and suddenly they’re over the edge.

What happens when a tourist falls off one of the highest waterfalls in the world and lands on granite rocks?
Apparently the rangers have nicknamed it the human water balloon. You can imagine what that looks like to the other trekkers and tourists who witness it happening.

Josh tells us other tales of tourists who are unprepared for the wilderness of Yosemite, even though there are numerous warnings written all over the park.

People who attempt to scale the half dome – a huge granite dome thousands of feet above the valley floor with a sheer vertical drop on one side. It takes at least 12 hours to climb up. Most do it over several days. It’s a proper climb for experienced people and it ends with a long ascent up the dome at a 45 degree angle. To get up there you have to hold onto steel cables which have been bolted into the rock, and use crude wooden blocks also bolted to the granite. Some people lose their grip and down they go. Others lose their cool and panic, with the same result. They fall all the way down to the bottom.
The search and rescue Rangers are called up to the mountainside every day. Sometimes it’s necessary to do helicopter rescues.
According to Josh, this year a woman fell from the half dome but didn’t fall to her death. Instead her shirt got caught on a sharp bit of rock and she hung there for two hours before being rescued.

Earlier that day, Josh had to rescue a guy who had fallen out of a tree. Apparently he was climbing the tree, messing around and he fell out and landed badly on a rock. His ribs broke and pierced his lungs. Josh thinks he probably didn’t make it.

This puts things in perspective somewhat. But still, the crutches and the assisted descent are definitely necessary and we count our lucky stars that it’s not worse. Josh tells us that we’re well prepared with water, food and a torch. Yesterday he rescued a Chinese couple who had tried to climb the half dome without knowing what they were doing. It’s at least a 12 hour climb, often more. They’d started after lunch and were quite high up, coming back down when they realised they would never get to the bottom before sunset and then they’d be stranded in total darkness on the trail. Not fun spending a night out there without food or shelter, especially when you know there are bears around, even 9 foot long mountain lions, although they are rare.
Josh heard the couple screaming for help on the trail, and assisted them to the bottom.
Again, 5 million people enter the park every year. Not all of them know what they’re doing.

We continue to make very slow progress down the trail. My wife is in a lot of discomfort, but mainly she’s frustrated at not being able to go faster. Each step is a mini challenge because of the crutches – she has to place them carefully, and then place her foot carefully too, making sure she doesn’t have to put her weight on the bad ankle.
On the plus side, we get to walk with a ranger and we get the sunset on the trail, with magnificent views of the half dome and other domes in the valley. Again, this all seems so familiar to me because of a computer game – this time it’s Red Dead Redemption, which is set over 100 years ago, and you’re basically a cowboy gunslinger in the wild west. The landscape is very faithfully reproduced in the game, and there is a mountainous area with bears which is really similar to the landscape in Yosemite.

As the sun stretches through the trees onto the trail we are basically alone at this point as it gets to about 8pm. We should have been back 3 hours ago but we still have a long way to go. In this quiet I keep expecting to see a bear cross the path in front of us. Everything seems so still and peaceful that I’m sure any moment now we’re going to come across a bear.
Anyway, the main challenge is to get down the mountain, never mind bears and lions. It’s very rocky, there are lots of steps and boulders and so on. It goes on and on forever until eventually we’re walking in the total darkness with torches on our heads.
I carry my wife for some sections, and it’s a chance to go much faster.

Eventually, after ages and ages, we finally get to the end of the trail at a huge water tank, which is like some massive UFO looming out of the darkness. From there we’re all picked up by a local police officer in his 4×4, which is absolutely huge, like many of the cars. It’s giant, with massive tyres. My wife sits in the cab with the police officer. Between them there is a gun rack with several massive semi-automatic rifles, a shotgun and a few handguns. A typical American cop car! Not only is it a tremendous relief to be off the trail and back in civilisation, but we get a ride in what feels like a tank! The police officer drives us through the forests in the closed area of the park, back to where our car is parked at Yosemite Lodge. We stop at the police station and Josh goes in to get us some food. It’s 11 o’clock and we haven’t eaten since the sandwiches at the waterfall. Josh comes out with two US Army meal rations. These are field packs for soldiers and they contain everything for a full meal including macaroni cheese, tea, coffee, a fruit desert, bread, salt, pepper, butter and the whole things heats themselves up without needing fire. Bonus!

In the end, we are completely knackered and go straight to bed, exhausted after I carefully inspect my wife’s ankle. Thankfully it’s not too swollen or discoloured. In fact, I think she escaped bad injury and her ankle will be fine if she rests it. The next 36 hours will be pretty inactive, with a long sleep and then a fairly long car journey so she can rest it.

End of Part 5! Part 6 coming soon…

284. Questions from Tea4er.ru (Part 2)

16 Replies

Hi listeners, in this episode I go through some more of the questions sent to me by readers of Tea4er.ru. All the questions and most of my answers are added below, so you can read and listen at the same time if you want to. Enjoy the episode!

[Download]
Background sounds created using “Bloom” and “Air” apps on iPhone.
Song snippets at the end from the amazing album “Trojan Presents: Roots”. Get it here on Amazon.
Just a few things to mention:
– Join the mailing list.
– Like the Facebook page.
– Leave your comments on the website.
– Donate if you fancy it.
– Take advantage of the audiobook offer.
– Check out the various features you can find on teacherluke.co.uk including – music mixes, some funny jokes & cartoons, ways to contact me, transcripts, a phrasal verb a day, and other stuff in the episode archive.

Questions & Answers

Babikov Gleb
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia” Moscow Region

Greetings, Luke! Nowadays almost every educator in Russia teaches English using textbooks and common school programs. Don’t you think that teachers should develop more effective ways of teaching students?

Hi Babikov,
I think teachers should always be looking for new ways to develop their teaching. We constantly have to come up with engaging and effective teaching methods and that means understanding how people think, the cultural reference points and so on. It’s often necessary to make your own materials which are adapted from authentic sources, and which are more specifically suited to that group of students. So, thinking outside the box, focusing specifically on the needs of the students, and coming up with new materials regularly are all important ways to develop our teaching skills. Thanks for the question.

Pikalenko Roman

Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hi, Luke!

To my mind, every man should be a gentleman. And I would like to know your opinion. Is it essential for a young man to be a gentleman?

Thanks!

Hi Roman,
If by being a gentleman you mean being polite, respectful and considerate then yes I think young men should be like gentlemen. They can act like gentlemen, but not necessarily look or sound like the classic image of the British gentleman. To be honest I hope everyone lived like gentlemen if it meant treating other people with respect. The cliche of the gentleman in a suit and hat is only something you see in movies these days. Thanks for the question. I did a podcast episode about this recently. You can listen to it here 260. Kingsman: The Secret Service.

Strebkov Sergey
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hello, Luke.
I’d like to ask you a question: have you been scared when you started to make blogs? Were there any negative comments?

Thanks.

Hi Sergey,
Generally the feedback I get from my podcast is positive. I’m very aware that the internet is a place where people can be strongly criticised and you get aggressive users or trolls who might write very harsh comments about you online, but generally comments on my website are from really enthusiastic English learners so everything’s nice. I’m really conscious of the fact that I’m revealing a lot about myself in my episodes, so that is something I think about a lot. Thanks for the question.

Stepnova Alina
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region
Hello,Luke!
Why did you decide to become a teacher?
What attracted you to work in Japan?
Do the Japanese students wear school uniforms? How do you think whether Russian students wear school uniform?
School uniform lets students be equal. Without school uniforms complexes and envy may arise among students. Don’t you agree with it?
Thanks! I believe you will answer me.

Hi Alina,
You believed correctly, because I am answering you.
I did a podcast episode about living in Japan. You can listen to it here https://teacherluke.co.uk/2012/10/17/118-sick-in-japan/ I talk about my reasons for going there and some of the experiences I had. About school uniforms, I don’t know about Russian students and school uniforms but in the UK I had to wear uniforms in all the schools I went to. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, and it probably does give the students more equal status and may encourage a closer sense of community. Also, there’s a certain discipline in having to prepare specific clothes for your day every morning. I didn’t mind wearing a uniform most of the time, and I rarely thought of the idea of it being banned. I think you’re right, kids might find it more difficult if they are judged on their clothes, so uniforms help to let them blend in with everyone else. Thanks for the question.

Trusova Dasha
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hello Luke!

I know, you are active in social networks. Is it difficult to combine tearcher’s and blogger’s activities?

Thank you.

Hi Dasha,
It’s not hard to combine my teaching and my online work. Generally, they don’t affect each other and I keep them separate. I don’t use my episodes in class, or extracts from them, and in fact I rarely tell my students about my website until the end of the course. This is because I don’t want them to feel pressured to listen to it, and also because I don’t necessarily want them to hear certain things (like the more crazy episodes or personal stories) at the beginning of the course because I am attempting to present a more serious and business like impression. Sometimes my students already know who I am. Others only realise who I am after a while. Once I was teaching in London and at the end of the course I told them about my podcast. One girl in my class gasped! She was a regular listener to my podcast and after 2 weeks in my class she hadn’t realised it was me. She nearly fell off her chair. It was hilarious.

So mainly, I’m concerned about the image my students will have of me if they listen to my podcast. Thanks for the question.

Badalyan Tsogik

Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hello, Luke!

If you could live the same day over and over again, what would you prefer to do on this day?

Thank you.

Hi Badalyan,
You mean, like the film Groundhog Day? If I had to live the same day over and over again I would probably do lots of different things every day to make it feel like I was actually living a life. Then I would learn how to do things really well, like in the film. I’d learn how to be an amazing pianist or something. I’d try and enjoy myself. Thanks for the question!

Ludmila Guseva
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Luke!
To be or not to be… What does it mean for you???

Thanks a lot in advance for your answer.

Hi Ludmilla,
You mean, the existential questions that Hamlet asks himself when contemplating suicide? I guess we’re talking about the meaning of existence. What’s the meaning of life for me? I’m really not sure what this is all about. In fact, I have a feeling that the whole of the universe is not united in one single purpose and that in fact it’s pretty random. Either that, or we just have no ability to understand the complexity of existence. There may even be parallel worlds or just things we can’t even see. Physics and astrophysics are fascinating to me because they really could learn about what the universe is really doing and how it works. Does it mean anything though? I’m not sure. On a personal level I think we all have a choice to make life run how we want it. We can choose to be positive and take some control over our lives. It doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything more than just making yourself happy and trying to increase the happiness of those around you. Thanks for the question.

Andrey Kirianov
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hi, Luke!
What should be done to avoid racism in the world?
Thank you!

Hi Andrey,
I think travelling and meeting people is important. That tends to make you realise that people around the world are not that different and they’re all entitled to the same treatment as everyone else. It doesn’t help when racism is used by leaders to claim power over their own people. That’s a common way to get power. Blame all the problems on foreign people and use the fear of foreigners to whip up nationalist sentiment and support for the present government. To battle it we need to make sure we have a fully free press, and to educate children against racist attitudes. I think simply allowing people to know more about other cultures, means that they’re less likely to be racist against them. Also, we should have an open mind.
Thanks for your question.

Ludmila Guseva
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Luke!
Which is better: to teach or to learn? Or to learn while teaching? Will you share your ideas & experience?
Thanks in advance.
Hi Ludmila,
I’ve certainly learned a lot from teaching. If I want to get to know a subject really well, I teach it. It forces you to really know the subject. As a learner I find it harder to get the motivation to do research. As a teacher I do it incredibly quickly and effectively.
Thanks for the question.

Badalyan Tsogik
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region
Hello,Luke!
If you were given a book with the story of your life, would you read it to the end?
Thank you!

Hi Badalyan,
No, I wouldn’t read it! I don’t want to know yet. Everything at its right time. I prefer to discover my life story as it happens. I also don’t want to be constantly expecting the end scene to arrive. Innocence is bliss! Thanks for the question.

Ivanova Evgenia
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hello, Luke!
I know that you are a teacher.
If you had a chance to return to the past, would you tell about the future to the people there?
Thanks

Hi Evgenia,
If I could return to the past I think I wouldn’t tell them about the future. In the past people didn’t react very well to strange looking people babbling about visions of the future. They might catch me and burn me as a witch! Instead I would travel to the past and then tell the people of the present all about it. I think a good first-hand account of history would help us know the right thing to do now, so that our future is kept safe. The past is something to learn from.
Thanks for the question!

Bezborodova Anna
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hello, Luke!
I’d like to ask you a question:
How much time does it take you to make your podcasts? Is it difficult?
Thank you.

Hi Anna,
Actually, it takes me a lot of time to make my podcasts. It depends on the episode, because I prepare some episodes more than others. But preparing and recording a podcast, completing all the notes on the website, uploading it and then sharing it via social networks can take from 3 to 10 hours. Some episodes are really easy because I don’t prepare them and they just flow out of my mouth, but others prove to be harder to manage, either because of the subject matter or because of the need to edit the content. It can take a lot of energy to do my podcast, but I like it a lot and I hope to eventually be rewarded for my work in some way.
Thanks for the question.

Gorbunov Nikita
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hello, Luke!
How do you think, is music a necessary part of our life? Do you often listen to music? What musical styles do you prefer? Do you believe that music helps us to feel better?
Thank you for the answer!

Hi Nikita,
I think music is absolutely vital to my life. I constantly have music in my head or playing through speakers. I also need to play music myself. It’s a great way to de-stress while also achieving something. Music is really mysterious. It’s something innate that we all share. The language of music is written into us when we’re born and it’s all about the way humans are able to hear certain sounds in a particular scale. Why it causes such strong emotional responses in us is a total mystery and one of the wonders of the universe! Thanks for the question!

I’m Lera Kuvshinkina, Umyotskaya school,Tambov Region
Luke!
You know that there are many kinds of subcultures. If you were a teenager, what subculture you would like to belong to?
Thank you!

Hi Lera,
I’m well aware of subcultures in the UK and it’s one of my favourite subjects. I did that at university in Liverpool. When I was a teenager I didn’t belong to a particular subculture but I was somewhere between: indie, casual, mod and retro 70s. Those are rather specific styles, but there are other more well-known subcultures in the UK like skinheads and punks. I used to know skin-heads and punks in Birmingham (I was in a punk band for a while when I was a teenager) and they were all really nice and funny blokes. I love the different subcultures in the UK and their clothing/musical associations. Thanks for the question!

Zhalialova Liliya
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hello, Luke!

Is it possible to save warm relations being in different cities far away from your sweetheart? How to save this fragile spiritual link from your point of view?

Thanks!

Hi Liliya,
I think it is possible to keep love alive when you live in different cities but it requires communication and a long term plan to be together. You can use Skype and other networks to keep in touch easily, and if you know that you’re going to eventually be together it makes it easier. Also, make the most of the moments when you see each other. The airport greetings and so on. It can be madly romantic and exciting and a period that you will always treasure when you look back on it. Thanks for the question!

END OF PART 2

282. Questions from Tea4er.ru

5 Replies

In this episode you can listen to an article about LEP and some Q&A from readers of Tea4er.ru all read out by Luke. See below for the transcript. :)

[DOWNLOAD]
Hi listeners,

Earlier this year I was sent an email from one of the managers of a popular website in Russia for teachers of English. It’s called Tea4er.ru. Basically, the editor of this website approached me because some of their readers had mentioned me. He emailed me and asked me to provide an article explaining my approach to teaching English and how my podcast is part of that. The idea was that after reading the article, readers from the website could send me their questions. After a few weeks I would then read all those questions and choose a few to answer, then send my answers. The plan was that I’d choose about 5 winning answers. In the end what happened was that there were so many questions that I found it almost impossible to just pick 5. There were over 20 pages of questions. I was totally blown away by the number of responses. Tea4er.ru is a hugely frequented site, and of course Russia is one of the biggest countries for LEP (in terms of website visits, Russia is #1 followed by Spain, UK, Poland, Italy, USA and Japan. For audio downloads my top country is by far the UK, followed by Russia, Spain, Poland and Japan) so that may explain why I got so many responses. I ended up responding to way more than 5 questions. I sent my responses to the website and they published them this week. With the permission of the website I have decided to turn the whole thing into an episode of LEP. I mean, I put so much time into writing the article and answering the questions that I thought it might be worth reading the whole thing out for my listeners to hear.

So that’s what you’re going to get in this episode. I’ll read you the article I wrote, which is basically the story of my career and of LEP, and then I’ll read out the questions I was sent and my answers. The questions cover various topics – mainly English teaching, but also a whole bunch of other stuff. I hope you enjoy it!

1) the news about contest http://tea4er.ru/news
2) the interview http://tea4er.ru/interview/3681-luke-thompson-lukes-english-podcast
3) the forum thread http://tea4er.ru/forum/342—/64382

Dear Readers,

These days there is an emerging new kind of English teaching professional – the online teacher. They create their own content, break new ground with the use of social networking, and give learners an option outside of the traditional school structure. They’re on YouTube, blogs and podcasts, they gain a very significant following, and I suppose that I am now one of them.

Over five years ago I had settled into my career as a teacher of English as a foreign language. I had passed my DELTA course, had a permanent job teaching English and had just bought my very first property in London. I bought a new laptop and it gave me the option to record, produce and publish my own podcast on iTunes. I had always wanted to be a radio DJ. As a child I had produced numerous fake radio shows with my brother on our cassette recorder, and I had always loved listening to radio, podcasts and comedy CDs. It was my dream to make the same kind of content, and have an audience of people like me, who would lie on the sofa, listening to someone else’s words, being transported to different worlds of imagination.

For a while I tried my hand at making comedy videos on YouTube but they didn’t get many views. Why would anyone look at my comedy videos and short films anyway? I didn’t have an audience.

As an English teacher I’d been working for about 8 years. I’d met hundreds and hundreds of learners of English from all around the world, and had learned some key things. I knew that almost everybody wanted to learn English – the vast majority of the people in the world really. I’d learned how to engage the attention of a class full of people. I knew what subjects interested them, what language difficulties they had, and how to stand out as an English teacher. Also, as a recently diploma qualified professional I had some proper know-how when it came to helping other people learn my language.

What I realised was that there was a potentially huge audience in the world, I had something to offer to them, and I had the means to do it, so what could possibly stop me from launching my own podcast for learners of English? The idea sounded perfect really. I could do it all on my laptop. I could plan my episodes around engaging topics, I could make sure I included some fairly rigorous sequences about language and language learning and I could find ways of making the content funny too. I even had my own flat where I could record episodes of the podcast without being disturbed. Conditions were perfect.

I come from what I consider to be a BBC family. My Dad was a BBC man for about 30 years. We grew up in a BBC household. We never watched ITV, the commercial television station which was the BBC’s main rival. The BBC logo was everywhere in our house on pens, folders, notepads, and mugs. I would often hear my Dad talk about producing the news, what he thought of different presenters and how to deliver information as a broadcaster. It felt quite natural to do it myself on the podcast.

Also, I’d always loved stand-up comedy. When I lived in Japan at the start of my career as a teacher, I had no television so I used to listen to comedy CDs over and over again. My Mum used to send me recordings of Eddie Izzard, Bill Bailey, Monty Python, Peter Cook, Bill Hicks and Steve Martin and I used to devour them, listening over and over again.

I came back to London after a couple of years in Japan, just as the podcasting boom took off for the first time. I continued what had now become a tradition of lying on my bed listening to someone talking through my speakers, usually a stand-up comedian.

I’d always harboured a desire to try stand-up myself, but it wasn’t until my girlfriend at the time suggested I do a stand-up comedy course (yes they exist in London) that I first picked up a mic, stood on stage and tried to make a room full of people laugh. The relationship with the girlfriend didn’t last, but the stand-up comedy did. I’m still doing stand-up now (in fact I have a gig in about one hour) and I’m glad to say that feeds into my podcast a lot as I attempt to use comedy, from time to time, to make my audience laugh, and to reduce the so-called “affective filter” which can really get in the way of language learning.

So that is what I brought to my new project, called Luke’s English Podcast, years of experience, qualifications, enthusiasm, a BBC background, and some skills as a stand-up comedian. I finally have my own radio programme.

Over the last five years I have managed to keep producing regular episodes of my show, and it brings in lots of listeners particularly in Russia, which is my number one country for downloads and website visits.

You may be wondering at this point what the website address is for Luke’s English Podcast, and I am very glad to tell you! It’s teacherluke.co.uk. There you’ll find loads of content, including some very popular YouTube videos, but mainly it is a place to present episodes of my podcast, which is also available on iTunes.

The vast majority of my content is in audio form, and I upload podcast episodes about once a week. Each episode is one hour long on average, and the English level of my audience ranges from intermediate to proficiency.

Yes, that’s right, my episodes are usually about one hour long. Sometimes people are surprised at that length as the usual model for learning English podcasts is for them to be short, like the BBC’s “6 Minute English” podcast. The conventional wisdom here is that short episodes are easier to digest, they don’t overwhelm learners with too much content, they are convenient for listening at lunch time or during a quick break from work or studies, and they can be adapted by teachers for classroom use.

I decided quite quickly that I would take the conventional wisdom and chuck it out of the window. My episodes would be longer, like the podcasts that I loved to listen to. By 2009 I’d been listening to podcasts regularly, particularly one called “Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo’s Film Review”. That is one of the most popular podcasts in the UK, and is produced by the BBC. In a nutshell it features two guys reviewing films, but it’s not really a film review show, it’s a lot more than that. Reviewing films gives their podcast a structure and a theme but the show is, sometimes quite profoundly, about life in general. It’s an intensely rewarding listening experience, especially if you’re a long-term listener. Listening to Mark and Simon wittering on about films is life-affirming, entertaining, touching, educational and more. It makes you feel like you’re part of a close community of people who share a certain outlook on life, and who all are aware of the little in-jokes and references from that show. I wanted Luke’s English Podcast to be like that.

Having longer episodes gave me much more freedom. I could go much deeper into subjects I wanted to talk about. I could achieve more in each episode. I have never really understood why learning-English podcast episodes should be short. There doesn’t seem to be any good reason for it. Mp3 players and iPhone apps are programmed to remember where you stopped listening. So, if your journey to work is only 30 minutes – no problem. Listen to 30 minutes of an episode, and then press ‘stop’. When you come home from work your mp3 player will remember where you were in the episode, even if you listen to some music in the meantime. Also, longer episodes mean more content, and what is wrong with that? So, despite the fact that every now and then I read comments that say my episodes are a bit long, I maintain that they’re exactly the right length for what I want to achieve with my podcast.

The other thing I decided from the beginning was that my episodes would not be scripted. A lot of other podcast episodes for learners of English are scripted, and I know why. Writing the script beforehand means that you can easily add target language into a conversation, you can properly prepare grammar or vocabulary explanations and it means that a full transcript is available for listeners when the episodes are published. But, when I listen to these scripted episodes (such as the BBC’s 6 Minute English) they just sound fake, awkward and unengaging. Why should English learning materials be dull or patronising? Why make podcast episodes contrived, full of bad acting and unnatural speech patterns? Again, I can’t think of any really good reasons. Surely, it is better to present English in the most authentic way possible: by recording without a script.

Admittedly, some of my episodes are scripted, but for the most part I’ve kept them spontaneous, and I think that has really benefited the podcast. They sound more engaging, natural and they present language more authentically. I think it gives the programme a lot of personality. There are times when I have made mistakes, stumbled over my words or forgotten what I was talking about, and I left them all in the published episodes, for the sake of authenticity. In fact, this sort of thing is precisely what my listeners love about my podcast. They love the fact that it’s real and spontaneous. The fact that I have total creative control, and that I make sure that podcasting is fun for me, have made LEP (Luke’s English Podcast) unique and valuable.

I have found that the episodes my listeners love the most are the ones in which I take risks and am spontaneous. I can do things on LEP that I definitely wouldn’t do in schools where I work as an employee. If I want to devote a whole episode to Star Wars, or zombies, I can. If I want to talk about all the rudest words in the English language, I can. If I want to just talk and talk about nothing in particular, with no plan, I can! And it seems the more I do that, the more my listeners appreciate it.

The atmosphere of total freedom is really healthy for my podcast, I believe. For example, a couple of years ago I just decided to improvise a story on the podcast, based on an old joke I used to tell as a child. The joke normally takes about 2 minutes to tell, but I decided to try and stretch the story to about 30-40 minutes of podcasting time. I recorded the episode with the microphone in my hand, walking around the kitchen, improvising jokes, dialogues and scenarios. The story became an epic adventure, with me being chased around the world by a huge pink gorilla, using various modes of transport. I wasn’t sure if I should publish it, because I thought people would think I was crazy, and that they wouldn’t see the learning value in it. That episode (125. The Pink Gorilla Story) is one of the most popular ones I’ve ever done. My listeners love it, and now I try to do improvised stories as much as possible. It’s so fun, full of risks (I have no idea what I’m going to say next sometimes) but I think it’s truly rewarding for my listeners because it creates a listening experience which totally captures people’s attention. If they know it is being created there and then, in the moment, there’s so much more drama involved, and that makes people pay attention. Sometimes people tell me they are addicted to my episodes, and that when they listen, time just flies by. Apparently, the length of my episodes proves not to be such an issue.

All of my feelings about this are backed up by academic research. I am sure you are familiar with the work of Stephen Krashen. His idea is that language is effectively acquired by learners when they engage with language in a meaningful way, and that the more comprehensible input a learner is exposed to, the better. That pretty much sums up the thinking behind my approach to the podcast, however I realise that it’s not just as simple as that, and I try my best to vary my teaching method in my episodes. Sometimes I focus on grammar, providing colourful examples and sample sentences which I encourage my listeners to repeat to themselves. Sometimes I teach vocabulary in a fairly traditional way. Sometimes I devote episodes of the podcast to giving general advice on learning English, with a view to improving my listeners’ metacognitive strategies. The whole package, which includes over 280 episodes to date, covers a really wide range of content, language input, comprehensible input, interviews with native speakers, comedy, music and more. I’m really proud of it, and this year I have decided that I finally deserve to make some money from my endeavours, but this is the tricky part. So far I have focused mainly on producing good content, hoping that it would speak for itself. It has done that to an extent. I have a healthy following and a large audience, but I must find ways of monetising my online project. So, taking LEP to the next level is my new challenge, while also producing regular episodes of the podcast as normal.

As English teachers yourselves, I suggest that my podcast could be a great resource that you can recommend to your students for use outside the classroom. It could be just another option, other than the BBC’s podcasts. If your students like it, hopefully they will get hooked and then they’ll find themselves with a healthy new habit in their lives. If they don’t like the podcast, no problem. I’ve always known that you can’t please all the people all the time, but you can do your best!

There’s so much more for me to tell you about, like the transcript writing project I have set up, which has listeners collaborating on transcriptions of my episodes using Google documents, and the award my podcast has won three times, but I have already written nearly 2,500 words here, and as I said, I have to go out and perform some stand-up comedy soon.

Just to bring this writing to a close, I should say that since starting my podcast in 2009 it has steadily grown in popularity. In the last year LEP was downloaded over 3,000,000 times in total, which is much higher than I expected when I first started. I would really like to continue and build my work into something larger. I believe I have a lot to offer as an online teacher, and podcasting may just be the beginning. Online teaching has given me freedom, creative control, an audience, my own radio show and an outlet for my comedy. I also know from all the messages I receive every day, especially from listeners in Russia, that my podcast has made a difference to the English of people all around the world. I hope that in the future I will be able to make a living teaching like this, and I believe I can.

Thanks a lot for reading.

Luke

Tea4er.ru Q&A FINAL LIST

Dear readers of Tea4er.ru,

Earlier this year I was invited to write a post on this website describing my teaching career and my reasons for starting my own podcast for learners of English. I told you my personal story, and then you were invited to contribute questions as part of a competition. I could then choose some questions to respond to.

I was delighted to see over the weeks after posting my interview here that there were about 20 pages of questions from users of this website. It’s amazing to see how many responses there were, including interesting thoughts and ideas from so many bright minded people. I was asked to choose about 5 questions, but in the end I found it really hard to choose just 5 so I’ve written answers to many more than that! I hope that you enjoy reading my responses, and I’m sorry if your question was not included.

Would you like to listen to me answering your questions in a podcast episode? You could hear me give my answers orally. I may use your questions and my responses as the basis for a new episode of my podcast soon, so if you’d like to listen to that, check out my podcast over the next couple of weeks. I will probably upload the episode soon. Click here for more information www.teacherluke.co.uk

I hope you like reading my answers to your questions, and thanks for reading!

All the best,

Luke Thompson

Tatiana
Hello! I am very pleased to ask you a question.
I’m Spiridonova Tatiana Ivanovna, a teacher, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.

If you were on a desert island you would have the right to have only three things. What would they be?

Thank you.

Good luck! I wish you success.

Hi Tatiana,
Assuming I’m only allowed to have objects rather than abstract or intangible things (like hope, fortitude, good luck, knowledge of bushcraft) I would choose tools that could help me survive. The main thing would be a really good knife or machete. I’ve seen lots of survival shows on TV and the machete seems to be really important. I’d also want some really good rope. Can I have a boat, a helicopter or a laptop with remote internet access? No? Ok, for the third thing I’d like a drum kit, so I can just make loads of noise and beat out the rhythm of the universe on the beach at night under the stars alone. Music is almost as important to me as food and water. Thanks for your question!

I am Savisko Ksenia, a pupil, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.

Hello Luke!

I suppose you are keen on medicine. What do you think when any person is too ill. He sneezes very often. Can his eyes dash out during his sneezing?

Thank you!

Hi Savisko,
If a person sneezes a lot, will his eyes pop out? Is that your question?
I’ve heard people say that if you sneeze with your eyes open, that your eyes will pop out. I always assumed it was just a myth, and watching this video confirmed it to me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D5fJYHbK7k. But who knows, if you sneeze hard enough, maybe it’s possible! Thanks for your question Savisko!

I am Vlasova Marina, a pupil, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.

Hello Luke!

One day I was walking down the street. Suddenly a black cat jumped out in front of me. At first I did not pay attention to it. But after an hour or two, I lost my phone. And then I remembered about the superstition which is connected with black cat. I have never believed in omens, but after the accident I started to believe in them. Do you believe in superstitions?

Thank you!

Hi Vlasova,
Interesting question and I’ve been preparing a podcast episode about superstitions which I plan to publish soon. So, do I believe in superstitions like this? Not really, no. Let’s look at the example of your phone and the black cat. Do you really believe that the black cat caused you to lose your phone? What evidence is there that the cat is the direct cause of the loss of the phone. Surely it’s just a coincidence. What’s happened is something called ‘confirmation bias’, which basically means the tendency to interpret events in a way that supports beliefs or theories. I would hypothesise that there is no causal connection between the cat and the loss of your phone. I think you’re creating the connection between the cat and the phone. Can it really be true that cats possess magic powers? What form does this magic take? I believe what happened is that you saw a cat, then later you lost your phone. There’s no connection between the two events, but because superstitions offer us an answer to events we don’t really understand or have control over (like the unexpected loss of something valuable) you make a connection between the two things that isn’t there. So, unless you can provide me with reliable evidence of the power of cats over phones, I don’t believe it! Superstitions are our brain’s way of answering unanswered questions, like – why do bad things happen for no reason, or what happens after we die?
Thanks for your question!

*AUDIBLE.COM MID-ROLL FEATURE*

I am Shibitov Artem, a pupil, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.

Hello Luke!

If you had a time machine where would you go?
Thank you.

Hi Shibitov,
I would stay in exactly the same position, but at a different time.
In fact, if I did travel through time, even by just a few minutes, I would probably end up floating in space because the time machine would simply deposit me at the same position in the universe but at a different time, and because the planets and stars in the universe are constantly moving, the earth would be in a different position and I would end up lost in space, dead. So, a time machine is no good. You need a machine that travels through both time and space simultaneously, like the TARDIS from the TV show DOCTOR WHO. That would allow you to travel into the past or future, but make sure you travelled to the right position in space so that you arrive safely on earth.
Thanks for your question!

I am Zimmer Edik, a pupil, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.

Hello Luke!

Have you watched the film “The Star Wars”? If yes, did you like it? What episode impressed you most of all?
Thank you!

Hi Zimmer,
I’m a massive Star Wars fan. I’ve seen the original film (episode 4) at least 100 times. I was mildly obsessed by it when I was a child. I did a podcast episode all about Star Wars not long ago, and I talked about the subject for about 90 minutes. You can listen to that episode here https://teacherluke.co.uk/2014/12/02/241-star-wars/. Thanks for the question!

I am Danil Mahno, a pupil, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.
Hello Luke!
Would you like to be a book which is opened by people every day?
Thank you.

Hi Danil,
If I was a book, I would like to be opened by people every day because that would probably mean I was an interesting book full of worthwhile things to read and think about. However, if I was opened every day that might mean my pages would start falling apart after some time! I’m not sure I’d like that. It’s also an interesting question for me because I would very much like to write a book one day and then I certainly hope it would be opened by people every day. Thanks for the question!

Hello Luke!
I’m teacher of English and Spanish and I’d like to ask for advice. The thing is that while teaching we teach our students to use web sites and English blogs, but some of them start just surfing the Net and forget the purpose of switching the computer on. How can I limit them in the Net and make them only study?
Hi! (I’m not sure who answered this question)
I totally understand the problem of our students surfing the web during classes, or being distracted by their phones, or Facebook. It’s a tricky area because these days young people live their lives in constant interaction with the internet. Some of my colleagues ban laptops, phones and tablets from their classrooms. I think that’s a fine choice as long as you’re prepared to act like a police officer in class, as well as a teacher. I personally attempt to capture the interest of my students in every class I teach, so that they choose not to go online. I’m not always successful – some students still end up going online during my classes, which frustrates me a lot. Firstly, it’s rude for them to not be listening or taking part, secondly it means that they might be finding my class boring (which is almost an unbearable thought, but is nevertheless a reality) and thirdly it means that the whole class slows down and becomes less effective because some people are just not following what you’re saying. Still, I think we have to accept a certain amount of multitasking in our classrooms these days. Using the internet while also performing other tasks is a normal part of daily life these days, so we should let it happen in our English classes, in order to make classroom interactions more realistic. Nevertheless, it’s totally unproductive and damaging if students are just being distracted by social networks, especially if it’s in their native language and not English. So, here are a few options: 1. Ban computers in class completely. 2. Allow computers but ban social networks and other stuff that is not related to the lesson. 3. Accept that a certain amount of internet browsing is a normal part of any student’s problem solving process and encourage them to use the internet to help them learn. In all cases, I think it helps if the students are really engaged and interested in what you’re doing in class. It’s also a question of constantly trying to involve them, and maintaining levels of respect. I’d imagine that if your classes are really great, the students won’t want to spend time on the internet. That’s our challenge as teachers today, in my opinion. Thanks for your question.

Задайте ваш вопрос Люку Томпсону 2 мес. назад
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I am Arthur Borisov, a pupil,Tavricheskaya school number 1

Hello, Luke!
If you had super abilities in what sphere would you use them?
Thank you.

Hi Arthur,
I suppose it depends on what kind of super abilities I have. If I was strong and able to fly or go really fast I’d probably end up fighting crime or rescuing people like Superman or Batman. If I was able to read people’s minds or affect their thoughts I’d be tempted to help people recover from mental illnesses or neuroses, or simply to make them feel confident enough to do anything they want. I think I’d probably use my powers to get rich too, but I’d try to help people. As we known from Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility” so I think that if I had super abilities I think I would also be obliged to use them carefully and with some sense of social justice. Thanks for

I am Anastasia Gofman, a pupil, Tavricheskaya school № 1, Tavricheskoe, Omsk region.

Hello Luke!

They say that there are aliens between us and some of them are working in the government of some countries. If it is true would you like to fly on the UFO?

Thank you.

Hi Anastasia,
I love the way that your question focuses more on the possibility of a UFO ride than on the ramifications of aliens working in the government! Anyway, I’ve heard lots of conspiracy theories which state that the world is run by shapeshifting lizard aliens from another planet. I’m pretty sceptical about that to be honest. I think it’s quite mad, in fact, to believe it. There isn’t any good evidence for it, although I do believe it’s quite possible that the world is basically run by a few very powerful individuals – heads of corporations, leaders of influential societies, that kind of thing. But, aliens in the government? Hmm, I think there may be alien life in the universe, but I’m not convinced that they’re here on earth or in fact working for the government, although I sometimes wonder about David Cameron (joke). But, if there were aliens on earth, and I met them and they offered me a ride on the UFO of course I would love to try that. It would be absolutely fascinating to see their technology and to experience a totally new kind of travelling. The thing is, I’d be afraid that they’d abduct me and stick an uncomfortable probe into my body somehow. I hope that answers your question!

Hello Luke!
I know that you are a lecturer. And, just imagine, you have a choice to make: all your students will become responsible and begin always to listen to you attentively, or you will receive one million dollars. Which will you choose?
Thanks in advance.

Hello (sorry, I don’t know who wrote this)
Well, I think that the first option is perhaps impossible – I can’t imagine a situation in which absolutely 100% of the people in the room are listening to me 100% of the time. There’s always someone who is drifting off, thinking about something else, and I don’t mind that too much. If everyone was 100% attentive, that might not be so great. For example, if I made one mistake, everyone would notice it! Also, I quite like the feeling that my students have independent minds and I don’t necessarily want to rob them of their free thought. I’d like them to listen to me because they find me interesting, not because I’ve cast a spell on them to make them attentive. That sounds a bit like mind control. So, I’ll be glad to have the one million dollars please! Thanks for the question.

Marina Bulakhova
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hello Luke! Don’t you find that the profession of a teacher is very deforming? I mean, it has a great influence on a personality, which will, certainly, show itself especially at old age. “He/she has been teaching for a long time”, – it sounds like a diagnosis, which presupposes moralizing, excessive strictness, and other negative manifestations. Isn’t it really so to your mind?

Hi Marina,
I think this is particularly true for people who teach children because it can be very demanding and forces you to be stricter than normal. I suppose this can take its toll. I think that doing any job will have an effect on you, so this kind of thing comes with the territory. As a teacher of adults mainly, I would say that it’s involves less strictness, but more openness, imagination, patience, creativity and the ability to listen. I hope that as I get older I will just have enough energy to keep up! Thanks for the question.

Roman Linskiy
Municipal Educational Institution “Ramenskaya Gymnasia”
Moscow Region

Hello, Luke!

What difficulties have you had with your students and colleges? If any at all? How have you tried to settle them since you became a famous teacher?

Thank you!

Hi Roman,
I’ve had plenty of difficulties with my students – mostly as part of the challenge of helping them improve their English. A lot of it is about motivation. It might be necessary to work with people’s individual problems and approaches to learning. That’s a normal part of the process. Sometimes you find trouble with students in that their personalities come into play. Normally this is really great because most people are interesting and basically good people. Every now and then you come across someone who likes to make life difficult for others, or who simply can’t operate within a group of others, with some level of intimacy as part of the learning process. Sometimes personalities flare up and you might find friction between students in a class or even with the teacher. I’ve had few problems with colleagues because for the most part English teachers get on with each other. We’re all sharing the same situation so there tends to be some camaraderie in the teachers’ room. I did a couple of podcasts about the challenges I’ve faced as a teacher. You can listen to them here https://teacherluke.co.uk/2013/09/02/145-nightmare-teaching-experiences-part-1/ Thanks for your message!

END OF PART ONE

280. The UK’s Top 13 Superstitions

34 Replies

Hello listeners, this episode is all about superstitions. Every country and culture seems to have particular superstitions. They can be quite a large part of the life or culture of that place. For example, if you’ve been living in a different country for a while, you’ve probably noticed that certain things are part of the common belief system, and that will no doubt involve some superstitions. Even if you don’t really believe in them, it’s quite useful to know about the main superstitions in a country, so that you can avoid doing something wrong (like opening an umbrella indoors in the UK) or you can just follow what is being talked about and understand all the reference points in conversation, and perhaps add your own comments as part of every day conversation – such as using expressions “touch wood” or “fingers crossed” – both of which are very commonly used phrases which are connected to superstitious beliefs. Now, since Luke’s English Podcast tends to focus on all things British or all things UKish – what are the top superstitions in the UK? What are those things that many people in the UK follow as every day superstitions? Well, in this episode I’m going to go through a list of 13 superstitions, unlucky for some, which are commonly held in the UK. We’ll also consider where these superstitions come from and why people still hold on to them. Join me! And in the comments section you can tell me if you share these superstitions in your countries, what the most common superstitions are where you come from, and generally what you think about superstitious beliefs.

[DOWNLOAD] [FREE AUDIOBOOK OFFER]
A lot of what you are hearing is written on the page for this episode at teacherluke.co.uk. If you want to do some studying, you most certainly can. You can check the script – compare what you heard with what you can see. Check out new words, add them to a vocabulary bank, repeat certain phrases after me, record yourself reading parts of the transcript and then compare them with me, or record yourself repeating the transcript, or simply record yourself speaking freely and then listen back to it for some perspective. That can be a good way of self studying with Luke’s English Podcast. Or, if you prefer, you can just sit back, brew a cup of tea or whatever, and enjoy listening to another episode of this podcast! If you fancy making a donation to reward me for my hard work and dedication – you can. There are donate buttons on the page for this episode. Also, don’t forget to take advantage of that offer from Audible – go to audibletrial.com/teacherluke to sign up for a 30 day trial membership. They’ll let you download one audiobook for free. If you don’t like Audible you can just cancel the membership, and keep the audiobook for free! I’ve been recommending some popular books, but they have about 180,000 titles to choose from so you can just explore the website to find out – but remember, if you’d like to get that 30 day free trial, do it by visiting audibletrial.com/teacherluke. Alright, let’s carry on talking about superstitions.

What’s a superstition?
It’s the belief in unnatural causality – the idea that one thing causes another thing to happen, even though there is no scientific evidence to explain it, for example the idea that crossing your fingers helps to bring good luck, or the idea that if you talk about the devil he will magically appear. These are ‘leaps of faith’ – beliefs that require you to suspend your need for evidence and just believe something that has no rational explanation, and so many of us make leaps of faith on a daily basis – some more than others, but even the most rational person can be influenced by superstitious beliefs and behaviour.

I don’t believe in superstitions because I like to believe I’m a modern, scientifically minded person. But saying that, I do find that from time to time my behaviour betrays my rational thinking. For example, I don’t like to open umbrellas in the house, walk under ladders, and I often will touch something that’s made of wood and say “touch wood” to avoid tempting fate. I can’t help it! I know that there’s no evidence that superstitions are real, but sometimes I just can’t help acting on some superstitious beliefs. Of course, I’m not the only one.

So, let’s consider the UK’s most common superstitions, and of course I would be delighted if all of the LEPsters in different countries around the world shared their superstitions too. What are the superstitions in your countries? What do you think of the superstitions I’m describing in this episode, and generally – do you believe in any superstitions? Why? Share your thoughts and practise your English too.

Here’s a list of the UK’s most common superstitions, with some explanations too.

Two-Black-billed-magpies-001 1. Magpies

What’s a magpie?
Black and white birds
Quite big, long tail
Related to crows (corvid family)
Quite noisy
They steal shiny things.

Magpies have different superstitions based on how many you see, as this 18th century poem explains:

One for sorrow
Two for joy
Three for a girl
Four for a boy
Five for silver
Six for gold
Seven for a secret, never to be told

This relates to the number of magpies you see. Most people know at least the first two lines of the rhyme.
I’m not superstitious, but even I find that if I see one magpie, I often will look around and try to find another one to make myself feel better.

2. Mirrors

Watch out when you’re moving house or doing some DIY and you break a mirror – if that happens you’ll get 7 years of bad luck.

What’s weird about mirrors? Why are we superstitious about breaking them?
Mirrors were once believed to be windows into other worlds – often worlds where things were the wrong way around.
People may also have been frightened that a person’s reflection shatters when a mirror is broken.
One theory is that mirrors contained a person’s soul, so if you break the mirror, you break the person’s soul.
People used to believe some pretty stupid stuff!
It just shows, that superstitions come from our general fear and mistrust of things we don’t understand. If it’s amazing and unexplained, then people are likely to make up all kinds of stupid stuff, e.g. those superstitious emails. http://www.pandasecurity.com/mediacenter/social-media/if-you-break-the-chain-you-will-have-bad-luck-for-the-rest-of-your-life/

Some people also believe that mirrors should be covered up during births and funerals, for fear the person’s soul might escape through them to another realm.

There’s also an urban myth that if you look into a mirror and say “bloody mary” three times, you’ll conjure up the ghost of a woman called Bloody Mary. This comes from old folklore – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloody_Mary_(folklore)

3. Umbrellas
Is it a surprise that there’s a superstition related to umbrellas in the UK?
Can you guess what the superstition is?
You might be thinking something like this: “If you don’t bring an umbrella when you go out, it’s unlucky”.
That’s not exactly right.

The myth is that it’s unlucky to open an umbrella indoors. This is probably related to the fact that umbrellas used to be quite awkward, large and difficult to open, and since our houses used to be quite small and cramped, there was a chance that you’d break something, or knock something over with an open umbrella in the house.

So, be aware that if you come into a house or building in the UK and leave your umbrella open, perhaps on the floor to dry off, the Brits might be stressing out quietly.

Again, this is still something that I can’t help feeling slightly uncomfortable about when I see, which is not logical, but it’s hard to completely escape these superstitious feelings.

On the subject of umbrellas – another cultural myth is that Brits always have umbrellas with them. That’s not exactly true.
Equally, I’ve met plenty of foreigners who are surprised that we don’t all carry umbrellas – they are surprised by the frequency with which we get caught in the rain. I think this is due to the unpredictability of British weather. It’s hard to be prepared all the time!

4. Crossed fingers

This is a way to ensure that lucky things will happen. It really means “Let’s hope it happens!” or “Let’s hope for good luck”.
“Fingers crossed!” = good luck!
“I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you today!”

Also, crossing your fingers is considered a way to get away with telling a lie. This isn’t related to the good luck superstition.
For example, if someone says “I won’t tell anyone” but they secretly have their fingers crossed behind their back, it means that they’re lying!

Is it the same in your country?

5. Don’t step on the pavement lines.

When we were kids we used to say “Don’t step on the cracks or the bears will get you”. What bears?!

Why is it necessary to tell kids that there are wild animals waiting around the corner, who hate it when you step on the cracks between paving stones?
Truth be told – I think we never really believed the thing about the bears. It was just part of a game where you had to avoid walking on the cracks.
When we were kids we used to make up those kinds of games all the time. Not for superstitious reasons, but just for fun. That’s what kids do. For my brother and me it was always sharks and lava. We used to put cushions on the floor between the chairs and the sofa, and those cushions were little stepping stones or islands. All the carpet between the cushions was either lava or shark infested waters. If you so much as stepped on the carpet you’d be killed by the lava or eaten by the sharks. Then we’d run around climbing and jumping on the sofa, chairs and cushions. Good times.

Back to the superstition…

Another rhyme is:
‘Don’t step on a line or you’ll fall and break your spine! Don’t step on a crack or you’ll fall and break your back!’

It seems that bad luck is waiting everywhere for you! Just walking down the street in the wrong way can cause you to have a serious injury or even worse to be attacked by dangerous animals.

Reasons:
Cracks in the pavement can be dangerous. You could trip and fall. Could you really break your spine?
In the past, the pavement was probably less even or safe than now. Today you can even sue the council for an accident caused by an uneven pavement.

6. Numbers

What list of superstitions would be complete without something about numbers?
Lucky and unlucky numbers are common in many countries and cultures – and the UK is no exception.

Seven is usually seen as the luckiest number. Here’s some info on that from PsychicLibrary.com http://psychiclibrary.com/beyondBooks/lucky-number-7

By far the unluckiest number is of course 13 – especially the date Friday 13th. This goes back to the Christian belief that the 13th person at the Last Supper with Jesus was Judas, who betrayed him and led him to be crucified, and ‘unlucky Friday’ was the day Jesus died.

13 is such a powerful superstition that many hotels don’t have a 13th floor, football players don’t like to wear the number 13 and some people even take a day off work to avoid going outside on the 13th.

More details about 13 http://mentalfloss.com/article/23266/13-reasons-people-think-number-13-unlucky and here http://www.writing.ucsb.edu/sites/secure.lsit.ucsb.edu.writ.d7/files/sitefiles/publications/2014%20Narula.pdf

Here is some interesting stuff I found from the pages linked above.

There’s a Norse legend that has 12 gods sitting down to a banquet when the 13th (uninvited) god, Loki, shows up. Loki killed one of the other gods, which led to events that eventually resulted in Ragnarok — the death of a bunch of gods, a slew of natural disasters, and the eradication of everything on earth save for two human survivors. There’s a lot more to the story than that, but you get the general idea.

Traditionally, there used to be 13 steps leading up the gallows. There’s also a legend that a hangman’s noose traditionally contained 13 turns, but it’s actually more like eight.

Apollo 13 is the only unsuccessful moon mission (intended to get men on the moon, anyway) thus far. An oxygen tank exploded and the survival of the astronauts on board was pretty touch-and-go for several days, but they did all come home safely in the end (but you already knew that).

There’s an old superstition that says if you have 13 letters in your name, you’re bound to have the devil’s luck. Silly, yes, but slightly more convincing when you consider that Charles Manson, Jack the Ripper, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all contain 13 letters (I know, I know, what about their middle names?).

Kids officially become teenagers at the age of 13, and we all know that’s a scary phase.

There may also be a mathematical theory behind it too.
Throughout history, the number twelve has long been connected to the idea of “completeness.” There were twelve gods on Mount Olympus, twelve signs of the zodiac, twelve months in a year, and twelve apostles. Therefore, people viewed 13 as 12+1, or “completeness plus one” (Lachenmeyer 24). This idea of being one away from completeness gave people a sense of uncertainty and unpredictability; thus they associated the number 13 with these feelings (Lachenmeyer 24).

Generally, the whole idea of superstition is fascinating to me. Why do we believe in these things, even when we know they’re not true? Or is there some actual truth in it? For example, if you stay in room 13 in a hotel, are you more likely to experience bad luck? Is this just the placebo effect? I mean, if you feel you’ve been cursed by bad luck, will you be more likely to accept bad things happening to you?

Let’s look at some possibilities.
John Smith stays in room 13. He’s superstitious.
He then believes he’s been cursed.
When he’s driving he’s sure that he’s going to have an accident.
This expectation leads him to somehow make it happen – he subconsciously proves his thinking to be correct.
It sounds like nonsense to me.

Here’s another idea.
John stays in room 13 and is superstitious.
He then drives in his car the next day and has an accident. Someone pulled out of a junction without looking and hit him.
He decides that it happened because of the hotel room he’d stayed in.
But there’s absolutely no evidence to suggest it was the hotel room. It probably would have happened anyway.
However, there’s no way of proving it. We can’t go back in time to do a test.
But John needs an explanation. He doesn’t want to believe that the universe is basically chaotic and random, or at least far more complex than his head can contain.
So, he chooses to believe in the superstition because it makes it easier to live in the world. It’s easier and more comfortable for John to believe in superstition than to know that some things are just completely beyond his control or understanding. It’s not pleasant to know that some things are not within your own control. So the superstition allows him to get some more control. He feels that he can control the chaos slightly. Next time he won’t stay in room 13.
I’m sure this accounts for a lot of our beliefs. We believe things like superstition, conspiracy theories or even god, because it explains unanswered questions and allows us to hide from the fact that the universe is chaotic, unordered and out of our control.

Have a nice day!

Let’s carry on with these superstitions because they’re fun to share!

7. Wishes: birthdays and bones

You’re celebrating your birthday in the UK and your English friends have bought you a cake. That’s not the bad luck – that you have to eat an English cake. No. Actually, our cakes are delicious thank you very much. No, the thing is, there are candles on the cake – of course there are. It’s a birthday cake. Everyone’s singing happy birthday. You have to blow out the candles – but here’s the thing – make sure you blow them all out with one breath because if you don’t – bad luck!

Also, what you really should do is close your eyes and make a wish first, then blow out the candles. If you manage to blow all the candles out with one breath, your wish will be granted. If not, you won’t get your wish. Of course, this has no validity to it at all – it’s just a superstition! But, it’s quite normal for people to say “Make a wish!” before blowing out the candles on a birthday cake.

Why do candles on birthday cakes have magic powers?

It’s not just birthday cakes though, it’s chickens or turkeys too, when they’re cooked for a Sunday roast. There’s a wishbone – it’s at the end of the neck of the bird (where the neck meets the body). It’s forked in shape – with two little bones forking out at angles. The tradition is for two people to hold onto the two bones with their little fingers, close their eyes, make a wish, then pull. The one whose bone doesn’t break (the one who ends up with the bigger piece) will have their wish granted.

8. Weddings

Weddings are already complicated enough because you have to worry about invitations, seating plans, food and wine choices, location, music, vows, transport options, speeches, the dress, the rings, the readings, the RSVPs, children, babysitters, flowers and photographer, but if that wasn’t complicated enough, there are also some superstitions to be aware of.

According to superstition, brides should wear ‘something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue’ as part of their outfit. Something old – could be a piece of old jewellery from a mother or grandmother, something new (obvious), something borrowed (obvious), and something blue (also obvious – it’s the colour). If not – then I suppose the wedding will somehow be cursed.

Then, there are loads of other things including the colour of the dress (one verse goes: ‘Married in white, you have chosen right; married in black, you’ll wish yourself back’), to the day of the wedding
‘Monday for health,
Tuesday for wealth,
Wednesday best of all,
Thursday for losses,
Friday for crosses,
Saturday for no luck at all’
to the things you see on the way to the ceremony (for brides, lambs are lucky but pigs are unlucky; for grooms, policemen and clergymen are lucky).

For more on UK wedding superstitions, click here http://www.corsinet.com/trivia/scary3.html

9. Ladders
Never walk under a ladder in the UK… Apparently it’ll bring bad luck because it used to be associated with walking to the hanging scaffold.

That sounds a bit grim doesn’t it.

The fact is, many Brits will cross the street rather than walk under a ladder, me included.
Perhaps there’s some common sense in this. Someone who is up the ladder might drop something on you.

10. Sneezing

You probably know it’s polite to say ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes in the UK, but did you know the custom might have originated in the sixth century? The theory is that sneezing was seen as the first symptom of the plague, so people would say a blessing to ward off the disease.

Another theory is that people thought sneezing stopped your heart, just for a moment, and saying ‘bless you’ would make sure your heart keeps beating.

11. Keep your shoes off the furniture

And not just because they’re dirty! According to one UK superstition, putting shoes on the table (especially brand new shoes) is bad luck. Some people even avoid putting shoes on chairs or footstools. One explanation is that in coal mining communities, particularly in north England in the 19th century, a miner’s shoes would be placed on the table if he was killed in an accident. The gesture then became a symbol of death.

12. Black cats
Confusingly, black cats can be both lucky and unlucky in the UK, depending on who you ask. Some people say it’s a sign that good things are to come if a black cat crosses your path… while for others, it’s a terrible warning.

How about this: Recently I was walking down the street and a black cat started walking across my path. It stopped and looked at me and got scared and ran away. What does that mean?

13. Rabbits
Rabbits are supposed to be good luck. For some reason keeping a rabbit’s foot will bring you luck. Some people have one in their pocket or attached to their key ring. That’s right – an actual dead rabbit’s foot. Just the foot. You can get fake ones now apparently. Weird isn’t it.

Saying the words ‘white rabbit’ are also supposed to bring good luck, especially at the beginning of the month.

Other things:
– Walking over 2 drains is lucky, but 3 is unlucky.
– Horseshoes
– Egg shells (crack them so the devil can’t make a boat – the devil must be a badass dude if he uses an eggshell as a boat)
– Making eye contact when you say “cheers” – this is growing in popularity, mainly because of the influence of other cultures where this is kind of a big deal.
– “Jinx”, when people say the same thing at the same time by accident, the first one to say “jinx” can avoid the bad luck.
– Lucky underpants
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259. Eulogy for Dennis

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Welcome to Luke’s English Podcast. This episode is entitled “Eulogy for Dennis” and it’s devoted to the memory of my Grandfather Dennis, who died at the end of December last year. The music you can hear is by Al Bowly, one of Dennis’ favourites. I hope you find this episode interesting to listen to and if you feel moved to do so – you are welcome to share your thoughts by leaving a comment on the page for this episode which you can find at teacherluke.co.uk – “Eulogy for Dennis” [Download]

Introduction
A ‘eulogy’ is a tribute – either written or spoken, usually celebrating and praising someone who has just died. This episode is a eulogy for my grandfather Dennis, who died recently at the age of 94. Much of what I am saying has been written in advance of recording, so I’m reading from a script. I’ve said plenty of times before that I prefer to record without a script because I think it makes my speaking more natural and authentic, however in this case I felt I had to write a script before recording because I wanted to prepare my thoughts and comments carefully. So this episode is scripted – which is good in one way because it means that it’s there if you want to read what I’m saying. I expect I will go ‘off script’ at times, and express my thoughts as they come to me, so there may be some unscripted parts. Either way, you can follow the bits that are written by going to teacherluke.co.uk and finding the page for this episode.

I hope that you don’t find this episode self-indulgent, or overly personal. I invite you to listen and share some memories of my Grandad, who I regrettably never featured on the podcast in person. I hope this episode can be a sort of celebration of his life, as well as a respectful tribute. I’ve been preparing this episode all morning, and ideally it would be more detailed, with input from the rest of my family, perhaps some readings of his favourite poetry or literature and anecdotes from his childhood. In the end, I realised that I just couldn’t spend too much time on it, and so I’ve just decided to start recording. If I don’t record this episode today, I might never do it.

If you want to make a comment in response to this episode showing some sympathy, and you’re wondering what to write, the appropriate things are usually “I’m really sorry for your loss” or “Condolences to your family”. It’s okay though, don’t feel obliged to write anything unless. I’m fine of course, although I do miss him, and so does the rest of my family. He had a pretty good innings.

Comments are always welcome, and if you feel like sharing similar experiences or ideas, go ahead. Teacherluke.co.uk. This is episode 259 “Eulogy for Dennis”.

I’m not entirely sure if my podcast is the appropriate place to give a tribute to Dennis – this is a podcast for learning English, but at the same time my podcast is a way for me to communicate and share thoughts with an audience of intelligent people around the world. If the content of each episode is interesting for you to listen to – great. It’s good for your English if you are interested in what you are listening to, and even though I’m not directly teaching you language in this episode, there’s still a lot to be gained from just engaging with what I’m saying, intellectually or emotionally. I hope you can get a lot of comprehensible language input from Luke’s English Podcast, and hopefully more than that too. For me, I want to be able to tell people about my grandad, because now he’s gone and his actions are consigned to history. I just want more people to know what he did, and that he was a good guy.

Although I want to be respectful, there’s no need to be overly sombre or sad in this episode. My grandad had a great sense of humour and he wasn’t the sort of person to dwell on dark and depressing thoughts. I imagine that he wouldn’t want me to take this episode too seriously, and he’d just want everyone to be happy and glad for what they have. It makes me happy to be able to share memories and knowledge about this member of my family.

So, I’m just going to talk about Dennis, just so you know about him too. He was a really popular man, and I hope his quiet charm comes through in this episode. He was also a modest bloke, so if he was here now, he’d probably find this a little bit embarrassing and unnecessary. But he’s not here, so I can do what I like, and I would like to spend some time talking about him! So, that’s what I’m going to do!

Childhood
I don’t know that much about his childhood really. He lived opposite a church. He grew up in quite a large house, and I think he really enjoyed growing up there, with quite a lot of space to play. I can’t really tell you more about his early life, because I don’t know enough. If he were here, I would ask him all about it. Suddenly, I want to know everything about his life story.

Wartime
So, in 1939
-No choice but to fight
-He didn’t tell us about the really dangerous and traumatic stuff he must have done
-His report
-Military Cross

Dennis’ Report
THE MILITARY CROSS
LIEUT.D.HALLAM – THE EAST YORKSHIRE REGIMENT
This officer has commanded a platoon in a rifle company continuously since D-Day, showing throughout outstanding gallantry and powers of leadership, especially on patrol.

On the 23rd October 1944 outside VENRAIJ he was leading a daylight patrol which was ambushed at very close range; with complete disregard for his own safety he controlled the withdrawal of the patrol in the face of heavy fire and remained behind himself within about fifty yards of the enemy keeping up a constant stream of smoke grenades until he was certain that everyone was clear. But for his coolness and initiative a large part of the patrol might have been lost.

Prior to the capture of HELLIGENRODE on the 16th April 1945 he led his patrol deep into the enemy’s positions and by deliberately drawing their fire was able to pin-point posts which materially assisted the planning of the subsequent attack.

Following the capture of GR.MACKENSTEDT on the 16th April and again during the mopping up of Bremen, his dash and aggressive action in the face of continual sniping inspired his platoon of very young soldiers with a determination which quickly gained them their objectives.

On the 18th April outside DELMENHORST his company and its support troops were held up by an 88mm gun and an enemy position on their left flank, but with superb initiative LT. Hallam led his troop round a covered flank and by the speed of his attack overwhelmed a position equal in strength to his own and accounted for the entire garrison and the gun.

At all times this officer has been an outstanding source of inspiration to those around him and has shown powers of leadership above his rank.

Family Life
-Photos of him and my Gran. They were younger than I am now. They looked so sweet together. She was gorgeous – very pretty and elegant. He was handsome, and elegant too in his own way. Clever, with a dry sense of humour, and a decorated war hero (although I think Gran was not so impressed by that – I imagine by the end, they both hated the war and just wanted it to end so they could be together. She never really mentioned his war experiences either.)
-Post traumatic stress? They didn’t really believe in that sort of thing in those days.
-My Gran bought a house during the war, and they settled down there. Again, seeing pictures, I feel like I would like to meet them. I can’t help thinking that we would have got on. Well, we did get on of course, really well, but it would be amazing to meet them when they were the same age as me – on the same level of status etc. This makes me think of Back to the Future – a film which I’m hoping to talk about on the podcast soon.
-He didn’t talk about the war much. I expect he wanted to put it behind him.
-My Mum says he was a bit removed at times, and not always emotionally engaged. Maybe this is related to how he dealt with his wartime experience, or maybe he was just an emotionally reserved person. That’s not to say he wasn’t warm – he was. He was kind, loving, and thoughtful, but perhaps a little bit reserved when it came to expressing those things openly. His warmth came through in different ways – like in his humour, his obvious enjoyment of being with the family, his interest in our news and so on. It’s almost impossible to imagine him in a war zone, fighting as a soldier. He was most at home in his armchair, reading, doing crossword puzzles, watching cricket and laughing at jokes or making jokes. Like many other men and women of his generation, he was pulled out of life and forced to engage in bloody combat. Forced, by the need to go to war against the enemy, to fight back against the Nazis. He was forced by events outside his control, which swept him away from his otherwise peaceful life. Conscripted into the army, I imagine he found himself wondering how it had happened. I’m sure he was well aware of what had happened to so many other men of the previous generation in World War 1 (nearly 900,000 of them died) and so I can’t imagine how it felt to be walking into a similar situation. I suppose he took on the challenge like everyone else. He was only one of thousands of other soldiers who were asked to fight for their country. I think he had a sense of national duty, and duty to the king and so on. That probably helped him, and I don’t think he questioned or challenged the allied command, or the general fight against the nazis. I expect he saw it as a necessary move, albeit one that he wished was not at all necessary.

It does make me angry that those who wage war force people like my Grandad into such horrific situations. Many many men lost their lives, and the others suffered in other ways – physical injury but also mental or emotional trauma which must have affected these young men deeply. I think of the powerful men who, motivated by some twisted and distorted sense of justice decide they have the right to decide who lives and who dies, and with a sweep of the hand, cause untold suffering and consequences around the world for generations. What supreme arrogance and small mindedness is it, that causes some power hungry maniacs to believe they can do that? What kind of egomaniac thinks they can play with the lives of millions of people just to satisfy their own hunger for power? What on earth makes one guy think he’s the one to rule the world? It’s sick and it disgusts me that certain autocratic dictators will stop at nothing to satisfy their bruised egos. Anyway, there’s no need to go into it any more – I think enough has been said about war and the causes of war, and I know it is complicated, and I don’t want to open up some debate because there are many shades of grey, and what looks like the actions of a power hungry psychopath to one person, may look like righteous leadership to another person. It depends on your point of view, and what kind of propaganda you’ve been exposed to, but ultimately, with great power comes great responsibility, and in so many cases, those who seek great power rarely manage to behave responsibly. Spiderman taught me that. I’m sure there are leaders who do a great job, and are both powerful and responsible, compassionate, and caring – and it is really hard to keep the peace sometimes. But when you go out of your way to slaughter millions just because you don’t like the way they look, dress, pray, or otherwise live their lives – get a grip on yourself. If I met Hitler, I’d ask him “Who the hell do you think you are, mate?” He’d probably tell me that he was someone special, but it would be the wrong answer. He was just another schmuck. One of the biggest twats in recent memory, along with a bunch of other people who I’m sure you could name.

Just one point, which may be me just stating the obvious, but it wasn’t the Germans that were the enemy, it was the nazis, or whatever you want to call those people – you know what I mean. There were plenty of Germans who suffered at the hands of the nazis. So it’s not ‘Germans’ – it’s facists. The fascists came from all sorts of countries. It was a battle of ideas, not based on where you were from.

Also, I know that Britain doesn’t exactly have a perfect past either. We were a huge colonial power, and Britain/UK/England has done some messed up stuff in history too, in India, in the middle east. Everyone’s involved in war to an extent. But I do believe it’s possible for mankind to exist without war. I know this sounds a bit cheesy, but there you go.

As John and Yoko said, “Give peace a chance” – just entertain the idea for a moment that perhaps war is not the answer, and that the whole world could decide to just get on. I know it is naive, but why not? Communication, diplomacy, talking to each other, using words, listening, finding compromise and trying to solve problems – that must be the way forward, unless you believe in the end of the world and in fact somehow fantasise about it happening. I don’t believe in the end of the world. I think the world will go on for many more years, as long as it is not hit be a huge asteroid (like when the dinosaurs were around). Did you know, the dinosaurs lived way way longer than us? We look back at them as a failed species, but they were around for about 135 million years. We’ve been around, as the dominant species, for about 200,000 years. So, the dinosaurs were around 675 times longer than us. Just to put that in perspective, that’s the equivalent to about 1 day compared to about 2 years. Imagine your first day in a new job. Just the first day – you’re nervous, you don’t know anyone, you find it hard to get along with the other people who work there, you don’t like them at first, you don’t know how to do your job very well, but it’s just the first day, and you’ve got 2 years ahead of you. So for humans, it’s still our first day on the job, as the dominant species. We’ve achieved nothing compared to the dinosaurs, if staying alive is the objective, that is. For us humans, we should learn to get along or we won’t make it as far as the dinosaurs. We haven’t even started really… I don’t really understand what’s going on in the world. It seems so confusing sometimes. Why are there wars? Why does human kind feel the need to smash itself up from time to time? Isn’t survival on the planet hard enough? Perhaps we are hard-wired to fight against each other for our own survival, but we have only recently invented weapons of mass destruction. Our instinct, developed over years of evolution, has maybe equipped us with a keen sense of survival, which includes the will to fight each other, but now we have massively destructive weapons so isn’t it time to use our brains to control those basic instincts towards violence? I mean, just play a video game or go to the gym if you have that much aggression inside you. Do some sit ups maybe, rather than getting all angry and causing world war 3. Just have an ice-cream and chill out. OK, rant over.

How did I end up talking about that? I was just expressing anger about those powerful individuals who wage war. I know I might sound naive when talking about this subject, like you might think “Yes, but war is a necessary evil and blah blah” – well, I’m just saying it’s a pity. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.

Oh and by the way, my grandfather was not bitter about the people he was fighting in the war. He never spoke badly about anyone really. I think the most outspoken thing he said was that he didn’t agree with women being priests in the Anglican church – a pretty old fashioned view, but there you go, and that’s nothing to do with the war. Other than that he didn’t have a bad word to say about anyone really. In World War 2, Japan was an enemy of the allies, but Dennis was so pleased to meet my Japanese friends when I invited them to my parents’ house at Christmas a few years ago. He was really friendly with them and we had a really great Christmas. Of course we did! Why would he bear a grudge against people who were clearly nothing to do with a war that happened generations ago? There’s no good reason for him to have done that.

I don’t want to go on about war too much. It’s annoying that his generation will forever be associated with it. It was only a small chapter in his life really. There’s no need to dwell on it. It didn’t make him who he was. He was more than that. He did so many other things, including having a family and raising two children. That’s worth celebrating as much as anything else. Of course I’m going to say it, but I love my uncle and my Mum massively. They’re just great, and that’s it.

Eulogy
This is the Eulogy I read out in church during the funeral service. It was written by Dennis’ children – my Mum and my Uncle.
They felt they wouldn’t be able to read it out without getting emotional. So, they asked me to do it. I was so proud to be asked. I didn’t feel too nervous. I was happy to read it. I didn’t get emotional until right at the end, when I my voice started shaking a bit.

Things we will remember about our Dad (words written by my Mum and my uncle)
His quiet, modest, ironic, witty and amusing presence.
His intelligence, erudition and knowledge.
His love of reading, especially Dickens and Trollope, who he re-read many times.
His ability to write – short stories, poems, articles, wonderful letters and inspirational little magazines which he produced during the war to boost the morale of his platoon.
Going with him to the public library to be introduced to the likes of Robert Louis Stevenson, Conan Doyle and PG Wodehouse.
His diverse musical tastes; encompassing Beethoven, Gilbert and Sullivan and Al Bowlly.
His facility for mimicry and pastiche.
His phenomenal memory – “ask Dad he’ll know” was frequently said by all members of the family.
His love of, and pride in, Yorkshire; its cricket team, its landscapes, towns and villages and all the happy memories it held for him of his childhood with his older brother and cousins; and later his pleasure in taking us on family holidays there, climbing Pen y ghent and Ingleborough, brewing up coffee on a primus stove, sheltering from the rain under bridges. And recently his enjoyment of visits with Shirley to Cononley, getting to know and love the village where his grandparents lived.
His affection for his school, Queen Elizabeth Grammar, in Wakefield where he obviously had a great education and whose headmaster A.J Spilsbury, was a life-long hero.
The cardigans he used to wear, the pockets of which always contained stubs of pencils with which he completed the cryptic crosswords he loved and was always so expert at, even up to the last few months of his life.
His love of France and the wonderful holidays he and mum had; travelling the length and breadth of the country, camping or staying in rather primitive gites. And, after Mum died, the holidays based on French courses he attended in various parts of France.
His amazing facility for languages, most particularly French, Spanish and German, the talent for which he has not passed on to us!
His skill with a watercolour brush.
His public spiritedness – volunteering to work at the Cheshire Home every Monday evening for 23 years.
His hatred of computers, but his amazing facility for texting on his mobile phone!
His characteristic silent laugh in which he closed his eyes and threw his head back, while quietly expelling air through his half open mouth – not a sound escaping!
His resilience and, sometimes infuriating, self sufficiency.
His even temper which he only ever lost on one memorable occasion, with very good reason!
The skill he displayed in cooking after Mum died, taking pride in hosting lunch and dinner parties.
His luck – sustaining only one injury during his very active war – a cut lip which he got while playing football! the good health he enjoyed during most of his long life, up to the last two or three years; and, after mum died, to have the companionship of Shirley with whom he had some very happy years; not least because, thanks to her Sky subscription, he was able to watch cricket all day long! They also went on many holidays and trips, and she looked after him so lovingly during his last months.
The modest bravery he displayed in his youth. When we asked about the MC which he won in the war he would say, airily “oh, they were ten a penny..”
His stoicism in the face of his death saying just a couple of days before he died “what will be will be”.
His quiet religious devotion, no doubt instilled in him from the day of his birth in a house just over the road from Beverley Minster, where his father was a chorister.
He was an exceptional example of a past generation.
As Hamlet says of his father:
I shall not look upon his like again.

As a Grandfather we only got the best of Dennis, and that was a lot. I remember him as just a great person to share a joke with. He was always up for a laugh, and as Mum and Nic mentioned, he was brilliant at doing impressions and characters. He was just a lovely, intelligent, mild-mannered and warm presence and we have nothing but joyful memories of our time with him.

My memories
Here are just some of the things I think about when I remember my grandad.
His tone of voice – it was soft, and comforting, humorous.
His general knowledge, and knowledge of history and literature.
His memory.
His love of cricket.
The glasses of sherry he would drink when he came to our place (served by my Dad).
Drinking whiskey with him at Christmas.
His friendly “Hello Luke” and a good firm hand shake.
His slippers which he used to wear.
His sense of humour – he could copy different voices, and he was always funny when he did this.
His style (and the style of my Granny – she was really elegant).
His French cars.
His love of France – and the language. He spoke fluent French and even wrote a few short stories in French too, which were published somewhere. My girlfriend and I used to sit with him and chat in French sometimes. Well, mainly them because my French is a bit limited, to say the least.
His love of Sherlock Holmes stories. We had this in common, and we would sometimes chat about Holmes & Watson. I played him my mystery story from episodes 29&30 of LEP. He enjoyed them. I’m sure he could have written something better.

I could go on. There’s so much to say and I’m sure I have missed some details, but there you go.

My Gran died in 2002, and my Grandad was always there for her. It must have been really hard to lose her after all those years, but he was a survivor, and he kept going, living alone for a while, before after about 6 or 7 years he got himself a girlfriend, called Shirley.

At the time, I didn’t even have a girlfriend, so I was pretty impressed with him.
Shirley & Dennis lived together in the last years of his life, and she looked after him really well. If it hadn’t been for her, he might have ended up in a care home, and he wouldn’t have wanted that.

Grandad stayed mentally alert all the way up to the end of his life. He was brilliant at crossword puzzles, pub quizzes, TV quiz shows and games. In the end, he died as a result of a heart condition. It wasn’t completely unexpected or a shock, but it’s still unavoidably moving and difficult to deal with when a member of the family dies. My Mum was with him when he passed away, holding his hand.

That’s it. He’s gone now. Where did he go? I don’t know.
Some people have their answers to that question, but I can’t be sure.
But it’s okay. All things must pass, it’s the way things are – better accept it.

Song
Here’s a song by George Harrison.
Artist: George Harrison
Song: All Things Must Pass
Album: All Things Must Pass
Tab from UltimateGuitar.com

Verse:
A D/A E** D
Sunrise doesn’t last all morning

A D/A E** D
A cloudburst doesn’t last all day

E A/E E** A**
It seems my love is up and has left you with no warning

E A/E E** A**
It’s not always gonna be this grey

Chorus:
Em D Dsus4 D
All things must pass
A D/A A D/A E** D
All things must pass away

Sunset doesn’t last all evening
A mind can blow those clouds away
After all this my love is up and must be leaving
It’s not always gonna be this grey

Bridge:
Em D Dsus4 D
All things must pass
Em D Dsus4 D
None of life’s strings can last
A D/A
So I must be on my way
E** A
To face another day

Now the darkness only stays the nighttime
In the morning it will fade away
Daylight is good at arriving at the right time
It’s not always gonna be this grey

Second Chorus:

Em D
All things must pass
A D/A A
All things must pass away

A D/A E** D A D/A E** A** E***

257. Be Positive

44 Replies

This is an unplanned episode which contains some general thoughts on a range of different things. There is no specific agenda or language focus, but it does contain some news, a few film reviews as well as the usual spoken English and natural phrases which you can pick up if you’re listening carefully enough! The overall theme which emerged during the recording was that of being positive and making the most of what you’ve got. [Download]

Transcript
An LEP listener has transcribed this episode. Click this link to view the transcript. To view more transcripts for other episodes, click here to visit the transcript collaboration page.

In this episode I talk about lots of things, including:
Welcome to new listeners.
Getting used to living in Paris.
Going with the flow.
Looking on the bright side.
Seeing where life takes you.
The future is unwritten.
The benefits of staying positive and looking on the bright side.
Don’t let negative thoughts drag you down.
Take responsibility for the good and bad things you do.
Don’t beat yourself up if things go wrong.
See things as learning opportunities. (This is the self-help section of the podcast!)
No regrets.
Is the cup half full or half empty?
Philosophical Conundrums, such as “If a tree falls in the forest and there’s nobody there, does it make a sound?”, “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” and “How long is a piece of string?”
What is the word for a philosophical conundrum? I couldn’t think of it, but do you know the word I mean? Leave your comment below.
Macmillan competition news.
Please tell a friend about LEP.
The transcript collaboration.
Thank you to certain Lepsters who have contributed to the podcast – you’re super-special LEP ninjas.
Some quick film reviews: Imitation Game, It Follows and Foxcatcher.
Eulogy for Dennis, my grandfather.

Please do leave your comments here on the page. I look forward to reading your thoughts, conversations and responses.

Luke

p.s. the word I was looking for was… a paradox. Thanks Edgar for jogging my memory.
[socialpoll id=”2252240″]

247. Understanding The USA (with Sebastian Marx)

22 Replies

This episode is an attempt to understand The USA in more detail, getting beyond the made-up version that we see in movies and on TV in order to get a proper understanding of the country, its culture and its people. I’m joined by an American friend of mine called Sebastian Marx, and during our conversation we go through most of the main events in the history of the USA and discuss some of the most important principles in the story of the country. The ultimate aim: to understand The United States of America. [Download]

As well as being a relaxed conversation between friends, this episode is a summary of some of the main ideas and topics that I’ve covered this semester in my university classes, and in fact our conversation deals with some of the most important issues and concepts that will help you to get a proper understanding of the USA – and you’re getting it all for free in this episode! You’re welcome of course… if you fancy making a donation to support my work you can just click this button here!

Speaking to Sebastian in this episode allows me to check some of the thoughts I had about the USA with a genuine American guy, as a way of getting the inside story. Ideally I would like ask all the people of the USA for their opinions, but as I can’t do that I have decided to just ask one American guy for his input, and he isn’t even in America at the moment – but that’s more than good enough for me!

You probably know Sebastian from previous episodes of LEP. He was in 130. A Cup of Tea with Sebastian Marx and also 183. Luke’s D-Day Diary (Part 1). He’s a stand-up comic who performs a one-man show in English and French, entitled “A New Yorker in Paris”, and he’s a very funny and interesting bloke. For more info on Sebastian go to www.sebmarx.com.

As usual, I would like to know your opinions, so if anything occurs to you, please leave your comments below this episode. I’m actually quite pleased with the outcome of this one because I think there is some genuine insight in this episode, even if it is delivered by two guys just having a chat.

244. Urban Myths

22 Replies

This episode is all about urban myths. Get your thinking hat on in this episode because it’s time to evaluate a few stories and beliefs and decide if they are based in reality or if they’re just the product of an overactive imagination, or rumours, or just plain old-fashioned bullcr*p! I will also teach you some very useful language connected to expressing if you think something is true or not. There are vocabulary notes, transcriptions and more details below. [Download]

In This Episode we will:
Consider what an urban myth actually is
Look at a news story about a commonly held belief from another country (and decide if it’s really true or not)
Look at some useful language – phrases and sentences we use to say “That’s true” or “That’s not true” – useful, natural vocabulary!
Consider some commonly told and surprising ‘facts’ and decide if they’re true
Talk about some of the UK’s favourite superstitions (if we have time – if not, that will be another episode in the future some time)

What’s an urban myth?
Essentially, this is a story or a fact which people spread around as if it is true, but in fact it is probably just made up. Often these urban myths or urban legends are personal stories or anecdotes, typically 2nd hand ones (like, “this happened to a friend of my brother’s girlfriend’s cousin and it’s absolutely true!”) and often involve something horrible, scary and shocking. Urban myths may also be just commonly held beliefs about something which are not based on any real evidence or fact, but are perpetuated out of misinformation, or as a hoax.

Superstitions on the other hand are similar but not the same. A superstition is the widely held belief that certain actions are lucky or unlucky, like the idea that the number 13 carries some magic power, or that not making eye contact when you take a drink and say “cheers” with someone, you’ll have 7 years of bad sex. Where’s the evidence that this is true? There is none, and yet many rational people still hold on to these ideas. In fact, many rational people still have that element of suspicion in the backs of their minds whenever they do some potentially unlucky behaviour, like walking under a ladder or opening an umbrella inside a house. Perhaps some of these superstitions are grounded in truth, but in many cases they’re just weird little glitches in our thinking. Every culture has its own unique urban myths and superstitions. In this episode we’re going to explore a few urban myths – one from Korea, some from The UK or America. I’ll tell you some things and you can use your critical thinking to decide if they’re really true or just a myth.

Then if we have time I’ll tell you about some of the most commonly held superstitions in the UK.

Examples of urban myths?
I’ll tell you a couple of stories that I remember being told by kids at school as if they were true.
The caller
The worm
The spider’s nest

All those stories are supposed to make you go “Oh my god!” and people make them true just to add some extra horror. None of them are true.

Discuss
1. Do you believe everything you read in the papers?
2. What about things you read on the internet?
3. How about things you hear by word of mouth?
4. Where does misinformation come from? Is it always shared by word of mouth or online?
5. How do you know if a story is true or just an urban myth?

Believe it or not? Truth or Urban Legend?
1. Look at the newspaper headline “The Cool Chill of Death” (The Metro, Monday 14th July) What is the article about? Make some predictions.

Vocabulary (before we read the article)
2. Match these words with their synonyms & definitions before you read the text.
Words & Expressions in the Article
1. on the loose (c)
2. humble (g)
3. rumble & grumble (b)
4. to be convinced that… (d)
5. a vacuum (e)
6. hypothermia (a)
7. an urban myth (f)

Synonyms & Definitions
a. a fatal condition caused by low body temperature
b. scary noises (e.g. made by thunder or a monster)
c. not in prison – free
d. be sure/certain that…
e. a space with no air in it
f. a story which is not true, but which people think is true
g. modest

3. Read the first paragraph & check your predictions.

Reading Comprehension Questions
4. Now read the rest of the article and find answers to these questions.
a. What is fan death?
b. What are two explanations of fan death?
c. Which of these is a realistic explanation?
d. According to Dr Yeon Dong-Su, what two factors could cause hypothermia to occur?
e. According to the article, why is fan death unlikely to be real?
f. What did Robin Prime do?
g. What two things shocked him?
h. How do tall stories become widely held beliefs?
i. Could a fan suck all the air out of a room? Why/why not?

The Metro, 14 July
THE COOL CHILL OF DEATH
Be afraid, be very afraid. For as summer continues, there’s a new killer on the loose. It rumbles and it grumbles and it is the humble electric fan. For in South Korea from Seoul to Seongnam, people are convinced you can die by leaving one turned on in your bedroom overnight.
Various explanations have been given for how the fans kill people – from their cooling effect resulting in hypothermia to the vacuum created around the victim’s face. These explanations fly in the face of medical opinion, yet Korean newspapers report an annual average of ten fan deaths and some Korean doctors are convinced of the hazards of sleeping with a fan switched on.
Clinical support
Dr Yeon Dong-su, dean of Kwandong University’s medical school, has investigated dozens of cases of fan death and insists they do occur. ‘Many people say these victims die from lack of oxygen but that is not true,’ he says. ‘Hypothermia does not only occur in the winter when it is cold. The symptoms can also take place if a person has been drinking and turns on a fan in a closed room. Most people wake up when they feel cold but if you are drunk, you will not wake up, even if your body temperature drops to below 35°C (95 °F), at which point you can die from hypothermia.’
It seems more likely than not that fan death is actually little more than an urban myth – most of the newspaper reports omit other causes of death from heart attack to gunshot wound – but it’s very hard to find a Korean who doesn’t believe in the phenomena – to the point where fans in Korea are fitted with timer switches to ensure their owners avoid certain death.
Possible ‘cot death’
A spokesperson for the Korean tourist board says: ‘This is certainly a serious and widely held belief in Korea. It appears to come from reports of people dying in the night and the common factor is the fan was running. The actual cause of death could have been something totally different, including cases of what people in the West would call cot death.’
Fan death has also become a cult internet phenomenon, thanks to message boards populated by English teachers in Korea who are baffled by their students’ belief in this notion. Robin Prime, who set up the website www.fandeath.net, says: ‘I was shocked at how powerful my Korean friends’ and students’ belief was and at the lack of critical thinking about the issue.’
Urban myth expert Dr Robert Matthews of Aston University explained how a shaggy dog story becomes a widely held belief across a country. ‘Urban myths often have a grain of truth in them that then suffers from the ‘Chinese whisper’ effect, with the facts being lost behind ever more embellishment,’ he says. ‘Clearly, it’s true that an extractor fan could suck all the air from an airtight box. And it’s also true that people sometimes die from inadequate ventilation. It’s a safe bet that many of those deaths will also have occurred in homes fitted with fans simply because many homes in South Korea have them. Hey, presto! You’ve a dodgy link, plus an irrelevant scientific fact to back it up. The truth is, of course, that buildings are notoriously leaky, and fans don’t have a hope of sucking out all the air.

To be clear: Some Koreans (not all) believe that if you go to sleep in a closed room with a fan blowing directly on you, that you can die.

I have spoken about it with numerous Korean students, and many of them were adamant that it is true. But is this true or just a myth? Is this something that happens everywhere, or just something that affects Koreans?

5. Discuss the Article
What do you think of the article?
Do you think the writer is being a bit snobbish about South Koreans?
Do you believe in fan-death?
Do you ever sleep with a fan on at night?
Fan death is said to be just an ‘urban myth’. Do you know any other urban myths like this?

Arguments For Fan Death (by people who say it really is real!)
It slices the oxygen molecules in half, you can’t breathe them and then you suffocate to death.
You can die of hypothermia because the fan prevents you from sweating and then you freeze to death.
It creates an air-sucking vortex, like the eye of a tornado, which creates a vortex/vacuum and then you can’t breathe.

More details & opinion on the Wikipedia page
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_death

Useful Language For Saying “It’s true” or “It’s not true”
Do we use these expressions to say we think something is true or not true?

That’s not true
There’s no way that’s true
That is so obviously made up
It can’t be true
It sounds pretty far-fetched to me
I think it’s not true
It smells a bit fishy to me
It’s possible, but unlikely

That’s true
I reckon that’s definitely true
There’s a good chance that’s true
That sounds pretty likely to me
I’d say that’s probably true
It sounds pretty convincing to me
That might/could be true

More Stories – Are they TRUE or just URBAN MYTHS? – You decide!
You are going to listen to descriptions of 6 stories which people talk about, but which may or may not be true.

Are the stories true, or just myths? You decide.

Coca-Cola used to contain cocaine
If you give alka seltzer to a seagull, it will explode
Walt Disney’s body is cryogenically frozen
There are albino crocodiles living in the New York sewer system
Red Bull contains extracts from bull’s testicles
Santa Claus was invented by Coca-Cola company

Remember the useful language above.

TRANSCRIPTS

Coke used to have cocaine in it
Luke: Hi Deb. Do you like coca-cola?
Deb: It’s ok, it’s very very sweet.
Luke: Yes, but it’s quite moreish don’t you think?
Deb: Yeah, well when I open a bottle I tend to drink most of it in a night.
Luke: Right, which is probably the caffeine.
Deb: Yeah
Luke: There is a lot of caffeine in Coca-Cola, which makes it quite addictive, but apparently there used to be more than just caffeine in it.
Deb: Well, like what?
Luke: Well, apparently in the early days it used to contain cocaine.
Deb: No!
Luke: Yep. Now, as we all known cocaine is a, kind of, an illegal drug, and actually you could find cocaine in Coca-Cola, right?
Deb: So is that, does that explain its name then, where it gets its name from?
Luke: Well, perhaps yeah. I mean, the… Cocaine comes from coca leaves. That’s where it’s derived from, and if you look at the ingredients on a can of Coca-Cola you’ll see coca leaves there, but these days they actually extract the cocaine from the coca leaves before they make the Coca-Cola.
Deb: So you’re not going to get high when you drink Coke nowadays.
Luke: Unfortunately not, but it used to contain cocaine. There you go. So…
Deb: I didn’t know that.

Feed Alka Seltzer to a seagull and it will explode
Luke: Right, Deb, you know Alka Seltzer, right?
Deb: Yeah, that’s the stuff you take if you’ve got a bit of a dodgy stomach, right? Dissolve it in water and it makes you feel better.
Luke: Yep, that’s it, exactly.
Deb: What about it?
Luke: Well, have you ever fed alka seltzer to a seagull?
Deb: No. Why, should I?
Luke: No you shouldn’t.
Deb: Why not?
Luke: Because it’ll, kind of, go off like a bomb. Now, apparently, right, the chemicals and stuff inside a seagull’s stomach react to the Alka Seltzer. There’s a strong reaction and it produces lots of carbon dioxide, and because seagulls can’t burp or fart there’s nowhere for the gas to go and it just builds up inside the seagull until eventually “boom” it just explodes everywhere.
Deb: So the seagull just gets bigger and bigger and bigger and then bang, gone…
Luke: Exploded, splat. Exactly.

Walt Disney is cryogenically frozen
Luke: OK Deb, right, here’s a good one.
Deb: OK
Luke: You know Walt Disney?
Deb: Yes, he created Disneyland, didn’t he?
Luke: That’s right. He was the founder of Disney, the very well-known film studio. Well, apparently, he used to be a very very rich man, you know, when he was alive, of course. He was a very private man, and quite a strange man, right? And actually when he died, yeah, people say that his body was frozen.
Deb: What do you mean, frozen?
Luke: Well, put into liquid nitrogen, in a cryogenic chamber.
Deb: Why would he do something like that?
Luke: Well, it’s that his body could be perfectly preserved in ice so that in the future when the technology is ready, scientists can bring him back to life. He thought when he died that in the future there would be the technology to allow him to be brought back to life.
Deb: It sounds like the kind of film that he would have created.
Luke: It does. It sounds like something out of a science fiction movie.
Deb: Yeah totally.
Luke: It’s pretty strange. If you can imagine Walt Disney frozen in a chamber somewhere in a big castle in Disneyland. It’s a bit like Dracula or something.
Deb: Or sleeping beauty, but you know, he’s not probably…
Luke: I don’t know whether he was good looking or not. Let’s stick with Dracula, it sounds cooler.

There are albino crocodiles living in the New York sewer system
Luke: Right, okay Deb, now, you know New York.
Deb: Yep, Big Apple, big city on the east coast of America.
Luke: That’s right, they call it The Big Apple. I don’t know why. Anyway…
Deb: Maybe they have big apples there.
Luke: Who knows. Apparently New York has a massive sewer system under the city. Huge underground tunnels with big reservoirs of water. There’s, like, lakes of drinking water and tunnel filled with water that run under the whole city.
Deb: It’s all connected to the Hudson isn’t it.
Luke: It’s connected to the Hudson River. It may also be connected to the sea as well in some way. Right, now according to this website that I was looking at, yeah? There are loads of things, like, living down there.
Deb: What, rats and stuff?
Luke: Yeah, but more than rats. I’m talking about alligators.
Deb: Rubbish!
Luke: Well, apparently there’s, like, quite a few down there, and they’ve been there since the 1930s. Originally what happened was, rich families from New York would go on holiday to Florida. There are loads of alligators in Florida, and they’d bring back tiny little baby alligators as pets for the kids, and then when the alligators got too big, yeah, this is like in New York… Once the alligators got too big…
Deb: And then became a bit dangerous I suppose.
Luke: Yeah!
Deb: They might eat the kids.
Luke: Exactly, yeah! Well, once the… even about a foot or two long they’re difficult to keep. They would flush them down the toilet.
Deb: Oh, that’s really mean!
Luke: It is mean, but what happened to those alligators is that they didn’t die. They just went into the sewer system and then survived down there, because apparently it’s quite warm, there’s lots of water, lots of food for them to eat like rats and things, and so they managed to survive, yeah. So, apparently there are reports of sightings of these things by sewer workers, but they’ve never been caught. But what’s interesting about these things is, because they’ve never actually seen the light
Deb: OK because it’s always dark down there
Luke: Because it’s always dark. They’ve gone blind, and the colour of their skin has changed. They’re actually albino.
Deb: So they’re white.
Luke: They’re white with red eyes, and they eat babies.

Red Bull contains extracts from bull’s testicles
Luke: Do you ever drink Red Bull?
Deb: No I can’t stand the stuff. I got drunk on it once, with vodka and it now makes me very ill.
Luke: OK, well apparently, it’s got loads of caffeine in it, which kind of gives you that energy.
Deb: It gives you a high doesn’t it?
Luke: It gives you wings. But apparently, caffeine is not the only thing in Red Bull.
Deb: Water?
Luke: There’s also, well, water and sugar and stuff, but also there’s another ingredient called taurine.
Deb: Taurine.
Luke: Well, taurine basically is extracted from bulls’ testicles. It’s like a magic ingredient which gives you energy and vitality and it comes from bulls’ balls, bulls’ testicles.
Deb: Don’t the bulls mind, people sneaking up on them and taking their taurine!?
Luke: Well, I expect so. I don’t know how they get the stuff out of the bulls’ testicles.
Deb: I wouldn’t want to do that job.
Luke: I wouldn’t want to do that job either! But apparently the taurine is extracted from the testicles, and this is one of the ingredients that gives you the energy. If you think about it, yeah, the word taurine comes from the latin word taurus, which actually means bull, and we know that bulls have a lot of energy and a high sex drive, and they get the taurine from the bull’s testicles and put it in the drink and the result is you get more energy and you become, sort of, more powerful and maybe a better lover.
Deb: GOh so it can affect your sex drive too.
Luke: Yeah, haven’t you ever…? Well,…
Deb: Well I might start drinking it again.

Santa Claus was invented by Coca-Cola
Luke: Ok, Deb, here’s a well-known one.
Deb: OK, go ahead
Luke: We all know the image of Santa Claus, right?
Deb: Yeah, big fat guy, red clothes, big beard.
Luke: White hair, yeah red clothes, very jolly.
Deb: Big rosy cheeks.
Luke: Says “ho ho ho” a lot. He’s the symbol of Christmas.
Deb: Yeah
Luke: Now, what’s the history of Santa?
Deb: It’s got something to do with Germany, hasn’t it? Something to do with Saint Nicholas?
Luke: Yeah, that’s what people say. Some connection to Christianity perhaps. Well, the fact is, it’s actually related to Coca-Cola. Apparently, the Santa that we know today was just created by Coca-Cola for their advertising campaigns.
Deb: Really?
Luke: Yep. It has nothing to do with old folklore or traditional stories or Christianity. It was actually just designed by an artist in the 1930s to sell Coca-Cola. Now, if you think about it, he’s wearing Coke’s corporate colours.
Deb: The red and white.
Luke: Red and white, and Coke have always done big advertising campaigns at Christmas.
Deb: Yeah
Luke: So he was just invented by Coca-Cola.
Deb: Oh that’s really sad. I thought it had a bit more history and tradition to it.
Luke: No, it’s just an advertising campaign.
Deb: Oh, that’s rubbish.

So, which ones do you think are true, and which are not true?
Leave your comments below this episode. Use some of the language in this episode.
I will post the answers here later.

That’s it, thanks for listening!

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
Share your thoughts by leaving comments below this episode, and by completing this massive poll!
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URBAN MYTHS – THE ANSWERS

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Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast

Learn British English with Luke Thompson

Category Archives: Beliefs

Attacks in Paris / Paul Taylor’s Eyewitness Account

On the tragic events in Paris: an attack on freedom and human dignity

November 16th, 2015

294. California Road Trip (Part 7) Earthquakes & Hippies

292. California Road Trip (Part 5) Scientology / Meeting a Bear in Yosemite / The Trek Gone Wrong!

284. Questions from Tea4er.ru (Part 2)

282. Questions from Tea4er.ru

280. The UK’s Top 13 Superstitions

259. Eulogy for Dennis

257. Be Positive

247. Understanding The USA (with Sebastian Marx)

244. Urban Myths

On the tragic events in Paris: an attack on freedom and human dignity

November 16th, 2015

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