Category Archives: Family

158. & 159. A Cup of Tea with… Paul Taylor (Parts 1 & 2)

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Part-transcript available below
Hello! In this Christmas episode I am joined by Paul Taylor who is that rare thing; an English guy who can speak other languages.

Paul is also a stand-up comedian who specialises in observing funny things about different cultures. He is also really good at doing different accents.

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Part 2

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A TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE IS CURRENTLY BEING PRODUCED BY LISTENERS. CLICK HERE TO HELP FINISH THE TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE ON A GOOGLE DOCUMENT :)

In the episode we talk about Christmas traditions, his experiences of living in other countries and plenty of other things, including some examples of different accents in English. Enjoy the show!

Here is a video of Paul performing stand-up comedy around the world:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q2Xn6jEsdQ&w=500&h=281]
And here’s one from a performance in Spanish, with English subtitles:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1H5bpbSm30&w=500&h=281]

Here is a link to the Wkikipedia page for Fawlty Towers, which is the sit-com set in Torquay on the south coast of England. And, here’s a clip from the show. It’s old, but it’s a classic ;)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-oH-TELcLE&w=500&h=375]

Merry Christmas everyone!

Luke

TRANSCRIPT FOR EPISODES 158 & 159
Here is a transcript for the first five minutes of episode 158, sent in by a listener called Dmitry, and proofread by me.
Hello ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to Luke’s English Podcast.

– “What is that sound”, you are probably thinking. Well, that is the sound of Christmas, ladies and gentlemen. It should be the sound of Christmas. It is actually a tambourine.

Paul – Ho, ho, ho!

Luke – Is that Santa?

Paul – Ho, ho, ho!

Luke – It sounds like Santa. It is not actually Santa. It is just my friend Paul Taylor who is joining with me for this episode and it is nearly Christmas, so: Hello, Paul! How are you?

Paul – Hi, Luke! I am doing very well. It is very close to Christmas. 19th of December currently.

Luke – Yes, we’ve just got six days, before Christmas

Paul – I used to be more excited than this…

Luke – Me too.

Paul – …six days, before Christmas. I used to be going crazy.

Luke – Yeah, me too. I used to… I used to get so excited, when I was a kid, about Christmas. You don’t get excited anymore?

Paul – Um, noooooo, I do not know why. It is particularly this year, like I am very unexcited. I have been excited previous years. Um, but just not feeling it this year. I do not know why.

Luke – I used to…, you know, every day, I used to count the days, literally, I used to count down the days until it was Christmas. You know, starting the December I would be – “Only 28 days ’til Christmas”, for example.

Paul – At the beginning of December, when do you have Christmas?

Luke – Yeah, I couldn’t count, I was only four and anyway, I used to get so excited and when it got to Christmas Eve I would be so unbelievably excited that  I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I remember lying in bed on Christmas Eve, I would just trying to force myself to go to sleep, so I could then wake up and open my presents.

Paul – That is scarily similar to how I used to feel. Although, probably, a lot of English people maybe have gone through the same experience. I think, one of the things, that, potentially, I am not excited about or the reason I am not excited about is that I do not have this year an advent calendar. I have noticed that you have a Kinder advent calendar, which I was almost going to buy, but it was  too late and now, you have eaten nineteen chocolates or shared nineteen chocolates.

Luke – It is an advent calendar. What is an advent calendar, Paul?

Paul – An advent calendar – so, “advent” is a term which I do not know where It comes from, but it is the term that depicted for the calendar that usually you open every day. So, there’s twenty-five or some, calendars go up to thirty-one, but most go up to twenty-five in the UK, anyway. Twenty-five days and behind …you open each like a door, each day, and each day, there is something waiting for you. Whether it is a picture… so the kinder calendar you have, em, I presume, has kinder branded chocolates behind, whether it is like a mini egg or whether it is a kinder Bueno. Whether it is whatever else it is. I love kinder.

Luke – You, you are quite familiar with a range of kinder products – Bueno?

Paul – The kinder Bueno and, the kinder Bueno It is like the soft, the soft one is really good. Yeah, that is an advent calendar. I believe an advent – it is something to do with a religious aspect of Christmas.

Luke – Yeah

Paul – But, I can not remember the exact. It is something to do with the date, emmmmmmm.

Luke – Yeah! Exactly! So, when I was a kid, I used to have an advent calendar which, um, was very nice. It had like a religious scene on it, some Christian image on it and you would find, um, there would be a door for each, um, um, day of the month and you would open, you find a door, you open it and behind it there is a picture, like a wise man or something.

Paul – Uhoo.

Luke – Or there would be a picture of, you know, some Christmas related to a Christian thing, a picture of, em, aaaaa, mmmmm, a shepherd, you know, a picture of a church and then, the last picture is always the baby Jesus. There he is. But this one, I have got here, is completely un-Christian, I think it’s… There is nothing religious about this, this Kinder advent calendar at all.

Paul – No, it is, um, it is just full of chocolate. Now, be honest. Well, now, you are probably at the age when it does not really matter, but when you were younger and you had an advent calendars which had chocolate in them

Luke – Yeah

Paul – …did you secretly open, …

Luke – Yeah

Paul – … like… day… twenty-four.. when It was actually the sixteenth and you eat the chocolate and then kind of close it up?

Luke – Yes. I did.

You can help to finish this transcript here, by using a google doc. Click for more information and to collaborate with other listeners. 

134. The Story of Salvo

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The story of a hardcore punk band from London, told by the band members themselves. A transcript for the introduction to this episode is available below.

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This episode is all about the story of a hardcore punk rock band from London. Listen, and you’ll hear an interview with the band members as they talk about how the band started, their influences, and what caused the band to end.

The band is called Salvo. They started in London in 2002 and played gigs in London, Oxford and Manchester before breaking up 4 years later. This interview was done recently. For the first time in years, most of the members of the group were all in the same room at the same time, so I had to take the opportunity to interview them for Luke’s English Podcast.

The members of this band are all my friends. I know most of them from my days at Sixth Form College when I was a teenager. One of them is my brother James. I was also a member of the band for a year or two. The style of music is a little bit hard to categorise. It’s hard, fast guitar rock. It’s pretty hardcore, but quite catchy too. You can make up your own mind about the music as you’ll hear some of it during the interview. If you want to hear more of the music, you can check out the Soundcloud page for Salvo here. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO SONGS BY SALVO

This is an authentic recording. No-one is really grading their English. They’re speaking in the same way that they speak to their friends. The recording took place after a music session in a studio, and a short beer drinking session in the pub. What you’ll hear is natural British English as it really is spoken, in this case by a group of friends, who used to be in a band together, sharing some memories over a few beers.

Just before we start I’d like to just say a few things about learning English.

What’s the best way to learn English? Well, people always say that you learn most when you socialise with native speakers. It’s really hard to do it because you don’t understand everything and sometimes you get lost and feel confused and frustrated. But that confusing feeling is a normal part of the learning process. It means your brain is processing a lot of information. In this case, it’s struggling to deal with words, accents, phrases or pronunciation that you’re not familiar with. It’s a challenge to understand native speakers talking naturally in a social situation, especially if they are good friends who know each other well. But, challenges are an important part of learning English. What is challenging now becomes less challenging in time as you gradually learn more and work out what people are saying. Remember, it is in those challenging situations, like when you’re listening to native speakers, that you really learn the most. It feels difficult, but that is the feeling of your brain trying to work it out, and as a result, learning and improving. So, listen to native speakers talking naturally. It’s one of the best ways to improve.

You can do it with Luke’s English Podcast. I present things to you, like interviews or recordings because I personally believe in them, find them extraordinary or touching, and hope that you will too. Hopefully this personal connection makes the podcast more engaging and as a result, a more effective way to improve your English. Basically, I just want to keep you locked in to listening to natural English, even though it is difficult, because I know that ultimately, it’s beneficial for your English.

So what am I going to present to you this time? Well, how about the story of a real rock band from London? It’s also a genuine story of rock and roll and friendship, told by the people who actually experienced it. That’s what you can hear in this episode. The interview was recorded at a friend’s house on a Saturday evening in South London. Please be aware there are some rude swear words used, but that’s normal, after all, it is rock and roll isn’t it.

So just a few weeks ago when I realised that the members of Salvo were going to reunite in the studio for the first time in over 6 years well needless to say I jumped at the chance to record a podcast episode about it. In this documentary or, if you will, rockumentary that you’re about to hear, I wanted to capture the, the songs, the sounds, the smells, of a hard-working rock band sitting in a room together, talking crap. And I got that. But I got more, a lot more. But hey — enough of my yakkin’. Whaddaya say, let’s boogie!

I expect some of you won’t listen to all of it, but then again for some of you this is exactly what you want. Some of my listeners really like the opportunity to listen to real English like this. Maybe you’re one of those people. In fact recently I recently got an email from a listener called Rei Lung, saying how much he liked listening to recordings like this. This is what Rei said.

Hello Luke!I just wanted to thank you for all you’re doing. The podcast is absolutely brilliant. I particularly enjoy episodes in which you interview your friends or just people on the street (like in those videos on YouTube that you have) because I think that this is when you can hear ‘authentic’ English. Also, the noisier it is and the more people that take part in the discussion or whatever, the harder it is to understand and the more authentic the language used is. I’d love it if you could do more like these, perhaps in a pub or something where people don’t really bother speaking slowly and clearly. Also, I really enjoy it when you talk about British life and culture, very interesting and eye-opening so I’d like to see more of that as well.Cheers

Well Rei, that is exactly what you’re going to get in this episode.

Transcript – A transcript is open on the Transcripts Collaboration page, and I’m slowly checking and correcting it, before adding it to this webpage. Here are the first few minutes of the transcript, which I’ve checked. This script starts at about 4mins into the episode after my introduction.

Jim -You’re listening to Luke’s English podcast. Live on luke.podteacher.luke.podteacher.com
Chris – Have you got a jingle? If you haven’t you’ve got one now.
Matt – Just a way I walk. (?)
Luke – Okay. Sh! Sh!
Chris – Nice jingle.
Luke – That amazing piece of music which you’ve just heard was a demo of an incredible band called Salvo and I’m here with some of not all of the members but some of the principal members of that band. And I’m now going to interview them and find out the details and the history of this really earth shattering, epoch making moment in culture.
I’ve got the members of the band with me. I’m going basically to introduce you them at first.
We’re going to find out who they are. We’re going to find out about the history of this group and I’m sure you’re going to find it fascinating and rewarding to listen to.
So I’ve got four people in front of me. On my left I have Aaron. Then I’ve got…
Aaron – Hi.
Luke – Hello Aaron.
Aaron – Hi. Hello.
Luke – Chris.
Chris – Hi.
Luke – Matt.
Matt – Hello.
Luke – Jim.
Jim – Hello.
Luke – And me who you know already after…
Aaron – And who was also in the band.
Luke – I was in the band too, yeah. So, let’s start with Aaron on my left. Alright?
Aaron – Hello. Hi. My name is Aaron.
Luke – How are you?
Aaron – Very well, thank you. Doing very well.
Luke – Good.
Aaron – Good.
Luke – So … Let’s see. What did you do in the group?
Aaron – Uh… I played bass and sang, did vocals in the group.
Luke – Okay.
Aaron – Bass and sang.
Luke – Okay. And…
Aaron – I wouldn’t call it singing really. But, you know, the vocal bits, yeah.
Luke – Okay. Alright. So, were you one of the original members?
Aaron – Yes. Yeah. Back in, I believe, it was two thousand and…
Chris – Two.
Aaron – 2002… 2002 was when Salvo started, yeah.
Luke – Yeah. Okay. Right. So, you were the bass-player and one of the vocalists.
Aaron – That’s right, yeah.
Luke – That’s right, okay. So let’s… Shall we move on …
Aaron – You can call me a principal songwriter.
Luke – Yes.
Aaron – If you really want to go with a label.
Luke – How many songwriters were there in this band?
Aaron – There were two. There were two dedicated songwriters.
Luke – Okay. Uh… So, you were one of them?
Aaron – Yes. Yeah.
Luke – And who is the other one?
Aaron – Chris King, who is on my left.
Luke – Okay. So let’s … Shall we move over to Chris?
Aaron – Yeah!
Luke – Hi Chris.
Chris – Hi.
Luke – So Chris, what did you do in the group?
Chris – Uh… I … I … I um … I played guitar and I sang… And… uh…, as Aaron said, I wrote some of the songs as well, so.
Luke – Okay. Right.
Chris – Uh… I wasn’t there from the very beginning.
Luke – Really?
Chris – I was almost there from the beginning, very beginning.
Luke – When did you arrive?
Chris – Uh… About a month or so after the band began. Basically I started uh… working… I was working at the same place as Aaron. And uh… and he started… he started the band. And… uh… and after, I think, he had a couple of practices with an old friend of his Dave who was the drummer. And… uh… So… they had a couple of practices and then I came along to one and after that I was in the band. So… yeah…
Luke – How did you… How did you join? Because Aaron and Dave were already in this…
Chris – Yes, you know, you know, basically I think what happened is Aaron and… , Aaron… Actually we’d been talking about it for a while at work. Aaron had a practice with Dave and another guy who he what was…
Aaron – Well it was me, Dave and this guy called Olly who just getting back to that when Chris joined. Chris came down for a practice and Olly had been sort of, you know, taking his top off like when it’s still quite… not even like warm in the room, just taking his top off and playing with his top off. And he’s a little skinny tosser on his guitar. And we were playing really badly and then Chris came down and Olly actually uh… proposed himself, you know, he offered himself for to leave the band because once he heard, you know, Chris play and realised that it was a little bit act of his depth, and went off to read poetry in pubs and that’s where he ended it up.
Luke – So Olly decided… Wait a minute. Just going back to this fact you said that he used to play with no top on. So did you not like that? Did you … Didn’t you … You didn’t like the fact that he’d played without his top on.
Jim – Why such a homophobe Aaron?
Luke – I don’t. I’m just curious to find out about that.
Aaron – It wasn’t somewhat that, you know, playing with you taking top off…
Jim – Some mates are so…, isn’t it?
Aaron – …it’s not about it, it’s like if you just go into a practice room, and it’s not that hot. Why would be… Why would taking your T-shirt off be the first thing you do.
Luke – Chris?
Chris – I … I never … I have sort of never sold that but it doesn’t surprise me. But I’m …
Luke – Okay.
Chris – Yes. So then I came along and things, you know,
< ? > – It’s a recent thing.
Chris – …things went, you know,
James – …From bad to worse.
Chris – …no, no, not into, you know.
Matt – …From bad to punk.

131. Rickipedia / Listener Q&A with Rick Thompson

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A conversation with my Dad, Rick Thompson. We answer various questions sent to us by listeners on Facebook.

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Rick is a journalist who worked for the BBC for about 30 years. He now runs his own media training company, called T-Media. He’s also been my Dad for 35 years. In my family we consider him to be like Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia. His knowledge is pretty encyclopedic. If I have a question, he is usually able to give quite an extended answer to it, although sometimes the facts can be a little bit unreliable. That’s why I’ve started to call him “Rickipedia”.

In this episode I ask my Dad various questions which were sent in by fans of Luke’s English Podcast on Facebook. To visit and like the facebook page, click here.

What do you think of my Dad’s answers? Leave your comments below.

My Dad and I both hope you enjoy this episode, and find it interesting and useful as a way of practising your English listening.

Questions from Listeners
Here are the questions that some of my listeners sent in via Facebook.

[4:47] Tuan Do Sir What’s the difference between UK today and UK 30 years ago?

[12:25] André Domen What does it feel like to be British these days?

[13:52] Bruno Alves Which team is going to win UEFA Champions League this season?

[16:35] Stefano Pierini I’d like to know what he thinks about Eastern Europe, especially the South-Eastern part (Serbia and bordering states)… I know he worked there sometimes.

[21:56] Hiroshi Maruyama Why did you (Rick) get the good idea to present dram set to your sons for Christmas many years ago?

[25:45] Hiroshi Maruyama Have you ever had Tetrisitis?

[27:34] Hiroshi Maruyama Please tell me about the pleasure of bird watching. In Kumamoto, my home town, we have a lake and lots of birds come. I sometime go to watch them.

[31:16] Francesco Moscato Good afternoon Mr. Thompson. A few months ago Luke uploaded an episode about the Maya people and their prophecy about the end of the world. What do you think about them?

[32:25] Romain Bsn Hi Luke’s Dad, I’d like to know what are your thoughts about French people (it can be about any topics)?

[35:54] Lucianna Liveira Ask him if he can speak Portuguese or whatever language?

[37:09] Garoina De Vergerach Hi Mr.Thompson! What dou you think about the Spanish bullfighting?

[39:55] Стефан Слободяну Hi, Luke! Please ask him what he thinks about life in the UK! What are the best and the worst things? :)

[47:10] Claudio Natale Hi Luke! According to your dad, which are the most common stereotypes about Italy and Italians.

[50:12] Claudio Natale What’s his favorite food?

[50:37] Khazan Anna Hi Luke! Please ask your dad what his favourite dishes are. What does he think about English food. What does he have for breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc.?  Does he have high tea?

[57:05] Mariana Ramirez Hey Luke. Does he have any funny anecdotes or stories of you and your brother when you were children.

[1:00:35] Ubiratan Silva Silva Why 2 + 2 = 4?

[1:02:10] Jairo Trujillo García Well, we could ask the Oprah’s legendary: “What are you sure of?” as a final question maybe.

Click here to see the transcript.

115. A Chat About Music (with James)

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Listen to a chat with my brother James about music and our musical memories.

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I’ve written a list of some phrases and sentences that we use in the conversation. You can check them out below. Highlight and google words which are new to you. You can also find some YouTube videos featuring some of the music we talk about in this episode.

Thanks for listening, please add your comments below and you can donate by clicking the donate button on the right of this screen.

Vocabulary
Some phrases and sentences from this episode:
Are you buzzing?
We’re on top of things
Hearing cosmic sounds coming through the speakers
It captures something of the dystopia of the future
They covered 60s ska tunes
I think The Specials did more cover versions than Madness
The Specials take themselves a little bit too seriously
As good as they were they never made anything that sent a chill down your spine
They were a little bit of a novelty act
See see them bouncing around on Top of the Pops
This is a piece of hardware which is one of the best sequencers
You can sample bits from other records
If you had to give it a genre, what genre would it be?
That’s all we’re going to get for the time being
The ‘Mad’chester scene, which was characteristed by a kind of psychedelic sensibility
Slightly 60s throwback vibe
Almost a slightly parody/jokey way
The Mondays were more into Donovan
They weren’t a retro band they were actually quite modern
They were a cross between a kind of funk/punk/acid house
Just good vibes
Really good lyrics
He didn’t have a traditional singing voice but he really meant what he said
Some things are rhyming, some things are jokes
We had a piano, inherited from our Grandma when she died
I tried the piano, didn’t really appeal to me
I almost got put off music at school
I tried learning the bass – not really much cop
That’s the last vestige of the guy who can’t play music – they become drummers
Drummer jokes:
What do you call a guy who hangs around with a group of musicians? A drummer
How do you know when there’s a drummer at your door? Because the knocking speeds up
How do you know when a drummer’s standing at your door? Because he doesn’t know when to come in
He also wrote his own very sappy 60s music
He did this very cheesy music but to be fair it’s really good. It’s multi-tracked and everything.
I remember once you getting me to bleach your hair
You ended up joining a band
The Genital Fungi
Grandpa Knuckles
We used to do a really heavy death metal song
Amanda X
We were a 3-piece, we were very fucking cool
A cutting riposte to being shunned by a girl
I was into ambient music, atmospheric sort of Aphex Twin music
The other 2 were these hardcore ravers
I can beat-match
This MPC 2000, this Akai piece of kit
It was quite cheap. It was about 250 quid
I remember crawling round on the floor and from the speakers above listening to The Beatles
It reminds me of being in the living room as a four year old
Skellington were a really good band, very sketchy though

Pete Rock demonstrates how to use the Akai MPC 2000

97. Luke vs Oliver (Part 1) Comparing and describing things

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Listen to Luke and Oli as they discuss, compare and describe a variety of different topics, ideas, themes and people. The idea behind this episode is to compare and contrast different pairs of things, not only to decide which is the best, but also to explore them in great depth.

Small Donate ButtonRight-click here to download this episode.
The idea behind this episode is to compare and contrast different pairs of things, not only to decide which is the best, but also to explore them in great depth.

Here is a list of the things we compare in this episode. Feel free to contribute a transcript if you wish. Part 2 of this episode will be uploaded soon. Add your comments below ;)

‘Vs Battles’ in this episode:
Star Wars vs Lord of the Rings
Early Birds vs Night Owls
Simile vs Metaphor
Sean Connery vs Roger Moore
Apple vs Microsoft
Al Pacino vs Robert DeNiro
John Lennon vs Paul McCartney
Innovation vs Imitation
Coke vs Pepsi
The Beatles vs The Rolling Stones


[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbeXERfshNc&w=400&h=233]
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1c6zF9aJxs&w=400&h=233]
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lea3Ynnklm4&w=400&h=301]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeSdeQRbhPs
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkP56x8kxnU&w=400&h=301]
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fqVwJs9UaY&w=400&h=233]
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMo6o0BtFG8&w=400&h=301]
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVjkgNaqlWE&w=400&h=301]

87. Six Idioms and Six Phrasal Verbs (with Oli)

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I chat to Oli about the news and teach you 6 idioms and 6 phrasal verbs. For a list of the phrasal verbs and idioms see below. Thanks for downloading!

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I still haven’t received the Macmillan Phrasal Verb Dictionary by the way. When I receive it I will let you know.

The 6 Phrasal Verbs
(Luke’s phrasal verbs all begin with the letter L)
To lapse into something “I lapsed into a dream” -to go down into a different state
To let up “The snow just doesn’t let up” -to stop
To lust after something “They always lust after a big news story in the paper” -to really want something in a sexual way
To lash out at something “They lash out at criticism” -to react aggressively to something
To leaf through something “It’s nice to have a cup of tea and leaf through the paper” -to slowly turn the pages of a book or paper
To laugh something off “They just laugh off the criticism” -to deal with criticism by just laughing about it

The 6 Idioms
(Oli’s begin with the letter M)
To be no match for someone/something “This boxer is no match for Mike Tyson” -he’s not as good as Mike Tyson
To take matters into your own hands “He took matters into his own hands” -to take control of a situation yourself
To get a dose of your own medicine “He’s going to get a dose of his own medicine tonight” -to experience for yourself bad things which you normally do to others”
To take a trip down memory lane “Looking at those old photos made me take a trip down memory lane” -to make you remember something
To make a mental note “When you have an iPhone you don’t need to make a mental note” -to remember something
To take the mickey out of someone “They kept taking the mickey out of me for my new haircut” -to make fun of someone, to tease someone

84. Luke’s English Braincast (with James)

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Why is it called Luke’s English Braincast? Listen to the episode until the end to find out.

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Contents
What’s been going on? What’s been happening? In this episode, Luke and James talk about recent news stories and current affairs including:
– The London Olympic Games
– The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee
– The Superbowl
– Charles Dickens 200th Anniversary
– The Oscars 2012
– Women drivers
and a number of other fascinating topics! You will find a list of some vocabulary used in the show below. Just scroll down the page, listen to the episode and learning will occur!

You can also hear Luke’s award acceptance speech. I’m now going to shut up about the award!

DICTIONARY UPDATE
Fans of my Facebook page have voted for The Macmillan Phrasal Verbs Dictionary as their prize. So, I will let Macmillan know and then they will send me that dictionary. When I have received it, I will organise some kind of competition so that YOU have a chance to win it from me.

VOCABULARY
Are you a learner of English? Do you like natural English vocabulary? Do you like games? Do you think the world would be a better place if we all stopped taking ourselves so seriously all the time? Well, here’s a great new game you can play to improve your English. It’s called VOCAB HUNTER (in 3D). It’s not actually in 3D but that sounds better than just VOCAB HUNTER! Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking – how do I play this fascinating game which is called VOCAB HUNTER (in 3D)? Well, simply look at the list of vocab + definitions below while you listen to this episode of Luke’s English Podcast. Whenever you hear a piece of vocab being used by Luke or his brother James, just SHOOT that item (mentally if you don’t have a laser gun or you don’t want to damage your computer) and move on to the next piece of vocab. That’s it. Could you be the best vocab hunter in the world? Can you identify and SHOOT (please don’t actually do any real shooting – just look at the vocab on the screen and say “OK” or “got it” or something) each piece of vocab as you see it? Are you ready to become the world’s greatest VOCAB HUNTER??? There’s only one way to find out, so listen to the conversation between Luke & James, and identify the vocab in this list: (please try to contain your excitement)

This list contains extracts from this podcast. I have typed these bits because I think they contain some phrases, expressions or words that I think you might not know. Use an online dictionary like the Macmillan Online Dictionary or The Cambridge Online Dictionary to get definitions.

James: You shouldn’t be so humble about these things
Luke: Sarcasm

Luke: I won a dictionary
James: We get that. Not that I’m putting that down, it’s a great achievement.

James: I think I’ve heard enough about the dictionary now. That’s all I’m saying. You might have milked that one a bit too much.
Luke: I might have over-egged the pudding

Luke: Which film did you see?
James: I saw ‘Young Adult’
Luke: ‘Young Adult’ – it sounds dodgy

James: Let’s talk about the news. That’s what I’m here for. To cast my expert eye over the week’s events across the media.
Luke: OK what have you come across? What news stories have you come across?

Luke: …the Olympic bid…

Luke: On one hand…  all the countries in the world take part and it’s an amazing celebration, but on the other hand London is such a crowded place that it could become an absolute nightmare.

James: Also, during what’s becoming a recession, isn’t it just a massive waste of money? When there’s people having their benefits taken away from them, councils have less and less money to spend on basic services, and the poor are getting poorer, the rich are getting richer, do you really need this pointless festival of sport?

Luke: Ooh let’s see who can run the fastest! In a way, that question is now redundant because we’ve got cars and bicycles.

James: If we had money coming out of our ears and we were very very rich and there was no problems with poverty in this country, which is never going to happen, but if we were living in a sort of utopia, then great, have a festival of sport, but otherwise I just think it’s a complete waste of money.

James: And also I thought the Olympics were supposed to be a very non-commercial event.

Luke: …they are promoting sport by making kids fat, allegedly.

Luke: …but it’s all revenue though isn’t it? It’s all revenue to the government.

James: There has been a lot of regeneration of East London because they want the area to look nice for international visitors, to show off to make London look nice. And in some ways that’s good, and they talk about the legacy, that’s kind of a catchphrase… …it’s not just about the event it’s about the legacy.

James: …a lone wolf terrorist…

James: Let’s move on to the next topic. We’ve cleared that one up.
Luke: We’ve done the Olympics.

James: The best one is when they get on the tube with a massive rucksack on and the tube doors close on their rucksack and they’re basically pinned to the door, trapped like a sort of scared animal and it’s very very funny. Tourists, keep doing that because it really brightens up my day.

Luke: I saw it the other day I saw a Japanese family dithering by the doors of a crowded underground train.

Luke: He was probably pleased because he probably thought “now I can go and get pissed” or something

Luke: Anyway let’s not be too down on the tourists because … we welcome tourists in London.

James: I found myself taking a photo of a van, just an ordinary van

The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee

James: I’d want to stay in bed. I wouldn’t relish that thought.

James: No wonder she’s such a heavy drinker. It’s a well known fact. She hits the sherry by about half eleven most days, by midday she’s onto her second or third. By ,idnight she is hammered.

James: Queen Victoria used to take it.
Luke: She had period pains and arthritis pains

James: I just made that up. I’m lying.

Luke: Mick Jagger is Sir Mick Jagger. He’s a Knight of the Realm.
James: What, for ‘services to paedophilia’?
Luke: Woa there! Where are all these allegations coming from?
James: Sorry I’m just a bit bored today. I’m just trying to liven it up.

The Queen’s Honours; e.g. OBE, CBE, Knighthood

James: cheering on a bunch of knuckleheaded…
Luke: …knuckleheaded sportsmen in armour

James: All you need to play American football is a bloody massive pitch, these weird upside-down goal things
Luke: You can play American football in a park
James: Yeah but not the full game. Not the full contact sport game, because you’d break your neck wouldn’t you. They need all that padding just in order to have a little kick around. You can play touch football I suppose but that’s not the actual game.

James: I used to get into them in the 80s. They used to show them on channel 4.

James: It’s just quite easy to take the mick out of really isn’t it.
Luke: We like making fun
James: Mocking people
Luke: Mocking Americans

James: It’s the screaming and the pointlessness of it all, and the crushing depression
Luke: You’re really negative today. You need to lighten up. Be more positive.

They start talking about the performance at superbowl this year with Madonna and MIA.

James: (About MIA) Her Dad used to be a Tamil Tiger.
Luke: She’s a musician from Sri Lanka

James: “and halfway through the performance she flipped the bird”

James: Not that shocking you might think but apparently people are upset about it… pre-watershed, Christians and that…

James: We’re being a bit mean
Luke: …a bit crazy today
James: a bit crass

James: Co)incidentally her new single’s out today… it’s a publicity stunt… we’re clever enough to say “we don’t care” “we don’t give a toss”.

James: it was okay. Out of ten I’d give it a five.
Luke: She sampled The Clash in that song. That’s the best bit of the song.
James: Mmm, they should have just not sampled the clash and just played The Clash.
Luke: I can play a bit of that song
James: Let’s not bother
Luke: If you’re listening, it’s called “Paper Planes” by MIA

Dickens’ 200th Anniversary

Luke: He was quite a good person
James: He was quite into social reform

James: People talk about things being ‘Dickensian’

Luke: The cliche that London is very old, dark, grey, foggy, smokey, and with lots of gap-toothed urchins, chimney sweeps, basically Charles Dickens…
James: Put that into the popular consciousness

The Oscars:
Luke: The ladies love George (Clooney). He’s often voted the sexiest man in the world, even though he is going grey, he’s got a few grey hairs going on but the ladies still seem to think he’s wonderful. My girlfriend for example, rather annoyingly, still loves George Clooney
James: Bit of jealousy there

Luke: Basically, The Oscars is Hollywood’s way of promoting its assets (itself).

“George Clooney always looks like he’s in an advert for George Clooney” Geoff Dyer in The Times

James: Oh that reminds me, have you seen the trailer for the new Tom Hanks film?

Luke: We don’t really like that kind of cheese in England
James: I hate that kind of really over the top, sentimentality

James: We like understatement. Not everyone, I can’t speak for the whole bloody country
Luke: We do like understatement though, and we prefer it when people aren’t so earnest like that, “well gee Dad I sure love you!”, instead in England it’s a bit like ” you know Dad, you’re alright”
James: Yeah; we’d prefer that. I’d well up at that

Luke: We tend to hide behind jokes. We’re diseased, we’ve got a disease, it’s called a sense of humour. We use it to cover up our awkwardness

James: It’s like Ricky Gervais (said), you’ve got to do a movie about the holocaust,
Luke: A movie about an idiot or a movie about the holocaust is the best way to win an oscar
James: Play a disabled or a jew
Luke: Woa there!!!
James: That’s his words, not mine

Women Drivers
Luke: Women just use a car to go from A to B… They don’t value driving as a way of proving themselves

Luke: The cliche is that women can’t park a car… Surveillance of car parks around Britain, CCTV surveillance around Britain in car parks has revealed that while women take longer than men to get their cars into small spaces, they do it more skillfully. They actually do it more successfully. So all these security cameras all over the country have…
James: Well, the ones that are left and haven’t been crashed into by women
Luke: Ha ha very funny. These security cameras have revealed that women may park more slowly but they do it more successfully.

The stupidest thief
James: There are some very deranged people out there, very disturbed people out there. You should probably say you read that from The Week didn’t you.

Cold weather
James: What disturbed me is, the night of the cold snap, I can’t remember what country it was, like 40 homeless people died, or more, like loads and loads of homeless people died. It’s just such a horrible thought that people haven’t got a home to go to and when it gets that cold you just die.
That’s all I have time to do at the moment. Listeners – if you have some time to kill then please transcribe the last 10mins of this episode and send it to me at luketeacher@hotmail.com
For now, it’s good night.

Now it’s time to say good night
Good night Sleep tight
Now the sun turns out his light
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.
Close your eyes and I’ll close mine
Good night Sleep tight
Now the moon begins to shine
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.
Close your eyes and I’ll close mine
Good night Sleep tight
Now the sun turns out his light
Good night Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.
Good night Good night Everybody
Everybody everywhere
Good night.

83. How to Swear in British English – VERY RUDE CONTENT (with James)

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Warning: Explicit Content. Do not listen to this if you are easily offended. This episode contains lots of very rude words and offensive content. You can read all the swear words, and watch some videos below.

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Introduction

This is an overview of all the swear words in British English. The aim of this episode is to explain how to swear. Please remember that swearing is very offensive and is almost always inappropriate. Please do not swear regularly! It doesn’t sound good.

In this episode I am joined by my brother James and we explain all the main swear words in English, their meaning, their use and how offensive they are. You can read the list of swear words below. Please remember that they are very rude indeed!

I do not intend to cause offence with this episode, just to educate people about language.

VOCABULARY

Here is a list of all the swear words. The * represents how rude or offensive the word is in my opinion.

*damn
*blast
*hell
*damn it
*damn it to hell
*damn you
*bloody hell
**bugger / bugger it / it’s buggered / you daft bugger
***piss / piss off / what a pisser / it’s pissing it down / I’m pissed off
***sod / sod it / you sod
***arse / you arsehole
***prick / you prick / you dick / you dickhead / you cock
***crap / that’s crap / that’s a load of crap / don’t talk crap
****bastard
*****bollocks / that’s a load of bollocks / never mind the bollocks / that’s the (dog’s) bollocks
***balls
*nuts
*****bitch
*****you bellend
*****wank / you wanker
***you tosser
******shit / to do, take, have a shit / that’s shit / that’s the shit / to have the shits / are you shitting me? / I shit you not / he’s a shit / this is good shit / shit head / shit face / shitty / bullshit / I’m shitting myself / I was shitting it / I don’t give a shit / shit – shat – shat / I was shit scared / I don’t give a shit / when the shit hits the fan / to be shitfaced
*******fuck / to fuck something / fuck off / fuck you / shut the fuck up / fucking hell / I’m fucked / that’s fucked up / what are you fucking doing in my bed? / what are you doing fucking in my bed? / what the fuck? / no fucking way! / what the fuck are you doing? / who the fuck is he? / un-fucking-believable / abso-fucking-lutely / you fuck / you fucker / for fuck’s sake / I don’t give a fuck
********mother-fucker
*********cunt / he’s such a cunt / I felt like an absolute cunt / you stupid cunt / you fucking cunt

All those words are offensive, but the following are the very taboo words which genuinely cause a lot of offence. They’re mainly used as racist abuse: nigger (often heard in hop-hop records as black American people sometimes use this word to refer to themselves) and paki – which was used as a term of racist abuse against people of asian origin living in the UK in the 70s and 80s. It’s associated with hate crimes and racism, so of course I think it’s a very offensive word.

So that’s it. It seems that swear words used to be religious in nature “damn”etc, then they became about sex or the body, “fuck” “shit” etc, but are they really that offensive? Not in comparison with words used in racial abuse. Perhaps it is the reasons for which words are used which are offensive, and not the words themselves. What is in a word? Offensive words can be powerful so think twice before using them.

VIDEOS

Here are some videos that feature lots examples of swearing.

George Carlin’s Classic Bit about Rude Language

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p25SdQEnhHI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Kf4kyQabwQ

79. Family Arguments and Debates (with The Thompsons)

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Listen to the family discussing issues, debating questions and doing speaking challenges in this episode.

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This episode is filled with useful vocabulary and expressions. Listen to hear people expressing their opinions, arguing and debating various important and entertaining issues. I also talk about New Year, Christmas and the view from my living room window.

Here is some of the language which you hear in this episode. Listen to hear me explaining some of it and giving examples.

Enjoy the episode and I hope you find it useful.

VOCABULARY AND EXPRESSIONS FROM THIS EPSIODE
Question 1: Which is better – British English or American English?
-it’s the correct form of English
-so all the Americans are getting it wrong?
-they can speak how they like, it doesn’t really bother me
-they can spell ‘colour’ however the hell they like, and they do goddammit
-since then we’ve changed
-why would they have changed?
-let Dad clear this up
-there’s a strong feeling that American English is sloppy
-I’m saying that there is a view, but it’s not logical
-it’s two cultures divided by a common language
-I reckon British people are just snobbish
-they corrupt it and bastardize it
-the only thing that bugs me is when Americans tell me that I’m doing it wrong
-they’re basically just in-bred redneck cowboys, that’s what you think
-there’s no such thing as a set language
-American culture has been built on enterprise, individuality
-and guns
-and go getting
-and go getting guns
-let’s go get some guns!
-the culture back home is precision precision precision
-do something pared down
-precisely, not vague

Question 2: Should you give money to homeless people?
-they’re probably on drugs
-what I prefer to do is give it to an organisation
-I’d rather give it to Shelter (a charity)
-I don’t have a definitive point of view
-who am I to deny this guy his can of beer if he’s down and out, if he wants to scav a quid off me and I’m feeling flush that day, why not?
-we all have this dilemma

Question 3: If a tree falls in the forest and there’s nobody there, does it make a noise?

Question 4: Why don’t the English learn another language? Why are we bad at learning languages?
-stop talking about the bloody empire
-let’s not get caught up in some sort of French grammatical debate

Question 5: Is it ever justifiable to commit an act of murder?
-manslaughter
-mitigating circumstances
-does that count as murder?
-to take someone’s life
-BIG ARGUMENT BETWEEN LUKE, JAMES AND DAD!!! -Are personal morality and the law the same thing?
-are you talking in terms of the burglar?
-it wasn’t a life or death situation – he went on a revenge mission
-battered him so that he was brain damaged

Question 6: Is the music of the 1960s better than the music of current times?
-no contest
-it’s personal opinion
-you can measure it by public opinion
-imagine a survey
-an imaginary survey is not evidence
-I don’t think it’s cut and dry
-there’s all sorts of music about now which would have blown people’s minds

Topics in the speaking game: shopping, The Royal Family, reading books, bird watching

That’s it for now!

78. Christmas – It’s all about Family (with James)

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This episode is all about Christmas. Learn plenty of general English vocabulary and culture.
You will find some vocabulary and definitions below.

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In this episode I talk to my brother (James) about Christmas, and plenty of other things too!

*Caution – this episode contains some rude language and swearing :)*

This is a natural conversation between my brother and me. We talk mainly about Christmas and what it means to us as Londoners in England, UK. We also talk about other things as we naturally get sidetracked during the conversation.
The intention of the conversation is to explain what Christmas really means to us. Some of the things we say are intended to be humourous, which means sometimes we use irony, but most of the time we are being serious.
It might be difficult for you to follow everything we say, but we explain many things while talking. I have made a list of vocabulary and expressions that we use in the conversation. You will find this list of vocabulary and definitions below. Many of the definitions come from this website: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/, and some of the definitions are written by me.

I recommend that you check the vocabulary and expressions in your own dictionary too, and look for examples of the expressions online by googling them. Listen to this podcast several times to really catch all the expressions and to listen to them being used in the natural context of our conversation. Then try to use the expressions yourself, in your own conversations or just while practising English alone.

TRANSCRIPT
Vocabulary is defined below the transcript.

[0:00]
L – Luke
J – James

L: Hello and welcome to this Christmas episode of Luke’s English Podcast. Now, today I’m joined once again by my brother James. Hello James.
J: Hello.
L: And today we’re going to tell you all about what a typical Christmas is for most people in the UK. The UK?
J: Well, yes. I suppose we are specifically Southern England. You know, there are slightly different traditions around the UK such as Scotland may do things slightly differently up north of England things. So, I suppose, we can only really claim to represent Southern England.
L: Or like London. To be honest really, I think, we can only talk for ourselves. So mainly what we’re going to do in this episode is just tell you about what Christmas really means to us.
J: But I suppose it is fairly typical of English and British people.
L: That’s true, that’s absolutely right. So, we’re going to tell you about a typical Christmas for us, here in London, in England, in Britain, in the UK, in Europe, in the world etc. Right? And also we’re going to teach you, along the way… we are going to teach you bits of vocabulary and expressions that relate to Christmas and New Year and all the things and celebrations and various aspects of Christmas. Okay? So, cultural stuff and a bit of vocab in the process.
J: Okay.
L: Yeah. So, how are you doing?
J: I’m okay. I’ve got a bit of a cold, but I’m fine.
(sound of phone ringing)
L: Oh, the flimmin [this is not a word] phone , I bet that’s a cold caller.
(sound of phone ringing)
J: Luke’s just gone to answer the phone. This is sometimes a common thing.
L: (answering the phone ) Hello, Luke’s English Podcast.
(after a while)
L: No.
(sound of hanging up the phone)
J: Yes, very common thing. People get hold of your phone number through the telephone directory and they phone you up trying to sell you stuff or sometimes is just a robotic voice trying to sell you something. Very annoying and very little you can do about it.
L: That was a robot voice then it said: “Hello, this is an important recorded message for Luke Thompson.” And so immediately I knew it was a cold caller. Right?
J: It’s borderline illegal although…
L: It’s very annoying.
J: It’s very annoying. It’s well into the annoying category. Yeah.
L: We call them “cold calling”, because it’s a way for companies to just call someone without any warning…
J: Without any previous interactions, so as sort of a warm contact would be if they already answered a question essay and they wish to receive more information, but in this instance he hadn’t been asked. So that’s why it’s a “cold call”.
L: Because they’re just calling you without any previous contact at all. Cold call, which is ironic, because when the phone rang, you were just telling everyone that you had a cold.
J: Different meaning of cold. Cold is just, well I guess it’s the same around the world, a mild flu.
L: Yeah. It’s like a virus that goes round. And everyone kind of catches it. Because people always say: “Oh yeah, there is a cold going round”, you know. “It goes round” that means that, you know, it passes from person to person.
J: Especially in a place like London, where we have very tight concentration of people on public transport and cold and minor diseases, that sounds disgusting, but sorry it’s true…
L: Minor diseases.
J: Minor diseases can spread quite easily through the handrails and the shared air that you got on the ground.
L: Yeah, it’s right.
J: It’s common thing in London to get cold quite a lot.
L: Basically the London underground is just…
J: …a breeding ground for disease and infection.
L: A breeding ground for disease and infection. So that’s true.
J: There you go. Some people say this podcast is too positive. So, there you go. We’re given you a negative there.
L: My brother believes that sometimes in this podcast I just… I’m just too positive about things. I don’t agree, I think, you haven’t really listened to many of the episodes.
J: No, I’ve hardly listened to any of them, to be honest.
L: You haven’t really listened to the episode that you’re in.
J: No, I haven’t, I was too embarrassing.
L: And I did say “you’re in”, I didn’t say “urine” there.
J: Good.
L: We don’t ever mention urine on the show…
J: …in this house.
L: …until now.
J: Let’s get to the point.
L: Can I just explain what happened there? Sometimes in English words can sound like other words. Right? Like if you say the word “you’re” meaning “you are” and “in”, “you are in” it can sound a bit like the word “urine”. Right? “You’re in”, “urine”.
J: It’s not a very good joke, but some examples of this work better than others.
L: I don’t think that’s really a joke, it’s more just a coincidence.
J: It’s a double meaning.
L: Urine/You’re in.
J: So you could for instance… I don’t know if should say this, if I were to offer you a coffee

[5:00]
L: Go on.
J: I could say: “You’re for coffee?”.
L: Like “You’re for coffee?” as a question like “You’re for coffee?”, but also sounds like a rude word.
J: It sounds a little bit like a…
L: “You’re for coffee?”, “You fuck off-y?”.
J: Okay, okay. I think they get it. Sorry about that.
L: Anyway, so you haven’t really even listened to the episodes that you’re in, have you? Don’t tell me to fuck off at this point.
(laugh)
J: Enough swearing. I think we should delete that bit.
L: Let’s get down to business and talk about Christmas, shall we? But we’re both… before we do that, we both suffering from ever so slight colds.
J: That’s why we sound sort of slightly bunged up. There is a phrase for you.
L: Bunged up. I’ll write this down. I must write down…
J: So write down call cold, bunged up.
L: Urine.
J: No, not that one.
L: I should write it down. Call cold, bunged up.
J: Bunged up, that’s just means blocked up nose.
L: You’re for coffee.
J: We’re not going to do that one.
L: I don’t know, I might write it down anyway. Urine. You’re in.
J: Things not to say in a business meeting for instance. You don’t lean over to the managing director and say “You fuck off-y?”. That would be a social faux pas, which is French.
L: A faux pas. That is. Faux pas is a French word.
J: And some English phrases are just literally a French phrase which we quite like a sound of. It’s been picked up over the years and accepted as English phrases, for instance: cliche, faux pas.
L: Yeah, a cul-de-sac.
J: Yeah.
L: It’s true.
J: Cul-de-sac…
L: Wait, wait, wait. What is first of all… What is a faux pas? What is a cliche? And what is a cul-de-sac? What’s a faux pas? Well it’s a French word.
J: Fake. “Faux” means “fake”, doesn’t it?
L: Maybe. I don’t know what the original…
J: I don’t know what the literal thing means, we’re very embarrassing. If you know, write in the comment underneath.
L: I’m sure. I’ve got lots of listeners who speak French, who can tell us exactly what “faux pas” means in French, but in English…
J: It’s just means a minor mistake.
L: It’s a social mistake.
J: A social mistake, yeah.
L: So for example, if you go to a business meeting and you…
J: …are wearing trainers.
L: …and you’re wearing sport shoes, trainers, sneakers, pumps, that kind of thing, to a business meeting, where you should be dressed in formal way. That would be a faux pas, like a social mistake. Okay. Next one was a cliche, another French word.
J: It’s because that we don’t have a literal translation for that in English, so we use the French, which means a cliche. A kind of… it’s very hard to explain.
L: Welcome to my job.
J: It’s very hard to explain without using the French.
L: I think the cliche is something which has happened many, many, many times and to the point which it’s now become really sort of predictable and not even necessarily true.
J: Slightly embarrassingly obvious, maybe.
L: Obvious, predictable. It’s been repeated many times.
J: So for instance a cliche would be an English bloke swigging lager with an England top on watching the football.
L: So that’s a cultural cliche.
J: A cultural cliche.
L: Which is very similar to a stereotype.
J: It is, that’s the word I was looking for. It’s similar to a stereotype, but it doesn’t just have to fit a person. It could fit a style or…
L: Usually stereotypes describe a type of person, don’t they? Like the German stereotype, the American stereotype, French stereotype.
J: And all the best stereotypes have an element of truth in them as well, obviously.
L: Like the English stereotype. There’s two English stereotypes for me. One is that we are very posh, stuck up, kind of gentlemen…
J: Drinking tea, wearing bowler hats.
L: And being very posh and going “Oh, my dear… my good man…” that kind of thing, which you know the Americans love that kind of English stereotype. But the other stereotype is…
J: It’s a football hooligan. Somebody goes (sound of hooligans).
L: Right? I think actually most English people have both.
J: A bit of both.
L: Yeah. They can be very reserved and polite and “Oh sorry”, but on the other hand they can… if they have a few drinks…
J: They can be quite ignorant and stupid.
L: They become ignorant and stupid.
J: And I include myself in that, unfortunately.
L: I think, you’re more hooligan than gentleman. I am maybe more gentleman than hooligan, but it depends…
J: So you like to think.
L: I don’t know, I don’t know if it’s true. It depends. Sometimes you’re more gentlemanly than I am and sometimes…
J: I don’t watch football, I want to point that out, I don’t follow a team. I never drink lager.
L: How many time have you had a fight in your life? Physical, a physical fight.
J: A few, but they were really asking for it.

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