Category Archives: News

185. The Trip to New York

As promised, here is a description of my holiday in The Big Apple! In this episode I tell you what I did, what I saw and what it was like for me. You can read some vocabulary in the notes (not necessarily full sentences) that I’ve added below. There’s a slideshow of photos at the bottom if you fancy looking at that.

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Ambient music in the background – Bloom app by Brian Eno
This is an experiment to see how it sounds and how it affects the episode. I put music on in the background from time to time just to give episodes another element. This might make you fall asleep! I hope not. Well, if you do fall asleep we can blame the music and not me! The music is made using an app developed by Brian Eno. It’s a really clever app that allows you to compose ambient music that slowly loops and evolves over time.

Holiday Stories
People’s holiday stories can be boring, especially if they go to the beach.
People sometimes bore you with holiday photos, or even worse a long video of their holiday.

I certainly hope that this episode holds your attention. It should, because NYC is a very vibrant and interesting place and there are lots of things to say about it. You’ll also hear me using all kinds of phrases and vocabulary during the episode – the sort of language that is used to describe a holiday or a trip, or language for describing places and experiences, although I have not formally planned to teach you any specific items of vocabulary, we’ll just see what comes up.

So, let’s start.
I went in April, and that’s about 6 weeks ago. It’s still pretty fresh in my memory.

Times Square

Times Square

Context: I’ve lived in a few cities. London, Yokohama/Tokyo, Paris, Liverpool. I’ve also visited quite a few other cities, like Berlin, Barcelona, Milan, Rome, Oslo, Ho Chi Min City and others. Each city has its own unique atmosphere, story and appeal. New York though seems to be like the king of cities. I’ve never been to Moscow, Sao Paolo, Madrid, Prague, Seoul (except the airport) or many many other places. One day I would love to go. New York sticks in my imagination as the king of cities though. Perhaps it just has the best marketing – with all the movies and so on. But overall, New York seems to be the best example of a modern metropolis – a super-city.

Also, there are different levels of experience you can have when you visit a place. If you’ve lived there all your life, you’ll know one version of it. If you are a permanent resident, but you’ve lived in other places, you’ll have a different perspective, and if you’re just visiting as a tourist you’ll have another vision. As a tourist I realise I’m just scraping the surface really. The reality of living there must be quite different. I expect it can be a tough place to live just like anywhere else. NYC is know for being quite a stressful place for its residents, with the stereotype of the impatient New Yorkers who rush around, shouting “I’m walking here!” or desperately trying to get a cab, or arguing with someone in the street. Also, New York must hold lots of secrets for the people who know it well. The best places to go, the best food joints, the shortcuts though the streets, and the little tricks that you pick up regarding how to get by in the city. For example, in London you learn fairly quickly that you’re expected to do things in a certain way. Queueing etiquette, how to book a table, areas in town that you should avoid at certain times. So, as a tourist I was just scratching the surface. But NYC has a lot to offer to everyone – either permanent residents or temporary visitors. It’s a vast, sprawling place which has many faces. It’s pretty clear by now that I loved it and I think it’s incredible.

How does New York compare to the USA as a whole.

Why New York? Why not one of the other wonderful places in the world?

The flights
The in-flight entertainment
What it’s like being on a plane for about 7 hours. What are the difficulties and what are the joys?
I pissed off a stewardess and she ignored me forever after that.
They’re not so much there to serve you, but to dictate to you what you must do. She felt like Nurse Ratchet.
“I need you to turn that off for me please”
In-flight entertainment – Walther Mitty, All Is Lost – made me cry. Why do we get more emotional when we’re in the air?
Best and worst places to sit?
Fears about landings and take-offs?
Jerry Seinfeld – Airports & Flying (Seinfeld is the king of observational comedy and this is a classic routine about airports & flying.)

Arriving in America
Views of cars from the air. Big American cars.
Immigration – long queue, quite strict staff (I need you to turn off that cell phone! – Sir! Put the cell phone away! I’m turning it off. You don’t need to turn it off, just put it in your paaackit. etc)
Made jokes with the immigration officer guy. “Is he with you?” “No” Do you have children sir. “Not as far as I know” “Now would be a weird time to find out”…
Arriving in the airport – the first thing that hit us – the smell of french fries, and ketchup. That was the first smell. We took the train – quite loud and aggressive announcements to put bags up, but we couldn’t.
People were immediately friendly and helpful.
We got off at the wrong stop and ended up in New Jersey.
Arrived in Penn station finally – in the middle of Manhattan. Classic New York. Big buildings, yellow cabs, Madison Square Garden. Lots of people.
Everything is BIG!
Buildings, cars and PEOPLE.
Some people seem to be kind of square in shape.
Some classic NYC accents – train staff, police officers, a girl who helped us buy train tickets.
Cab ride to our neighbourhood. Looking out the window at the skyscrapers.
TV in the back of the cab.
Dropped off in our neighbourhood – lower East side. Clinton Street.
Quite downmarket & a bit rough, but very cool and hip. It felt safe, and very trendy. Organic cafes serving bagels and good coffee.
It felt like 100 movies and TV shows.
We were pretty knackered when we arrived.
We unpacked and then discovered the area a bit.

Katz Deli
The first thing we did was go to a place called Katz Delicatessen, which is a famous place for several reasons. 1. It has featured in a few films, notably “When Harry Met Sally”. 2. The food is amazing, particularly the pastrami sandwich. Massive amounts, really delicious. Just what the doctor ordered.
The place was amazing. Super friendly service. Full of locals.

Brooklyn
Sesame Street vibe.
Flea market.
Buildings.
Brownstones. Stoops.
Cops taping off an area with yellow police lines. NYPD Blue?
Ate lunch on steps listening to soulful house music blaring out of a speaker in the market, while a bearded hipster mended fixie bikes and mixed-race families let their kids run around and dance to the music. It was cool and hipsterish, but really it was a good atmosphere with a community spirit.
It reminded me of London – but a massive London on steroids.
Some areas were similar. Brooklyn felt a bit like South London, or the trendy parts of East London. Soho felt exactly like Soho, but massive. Times Square was like Leicester Square/Piccadilly Circus, but much bigger. Parts of Broadway felt like Oxford Street, but, yes, much bigger.
Everything is bigger – have I already said that?
Food portions & drinks – which is convenient because you can always order the small size.
Drink bottles are about 25% bigger than back home.
We walked back from Brooklyn to Manhattan via Williamsburg, which is a super-cool area full of very trendy people and hipster shops and cafes etc. It was very sunny and hot. On the way back we stopped near the river to rest. There was a large open area with a sports field, grass, and bars with big barbecues outside. Lots of people were drinking and eating in the sun, and there was an amazing view of the Manhattan skyline across the river in front of us.
We kept walking and came across a latin bar that was playing loud Salsa music, and loads of people were drinking and dancing outside the bar. This was just on a street corner near the Williamsburg bridge. It was about 6pm. I realised how multicultural the place is. There’s a large latin community and it’s reflected int he music. In fact, New York is famous for its diverse music. There’s the afro-American thing, the latin thing, disco and hip hop, a Caribbean influence, a jazz tradition, funk & soul music and also a folk and rock music tradition. It all combines to create a pretty brilliant melting pot. One of the cool things was to listen to music coming out of people’s cars. All of it sounded good.
The street where we stayed – cars blaring out music.
Took a taxi over Williamsburg Bridge.

Skyscraper district
The cool things about skyscrapers or big buildings that are on the skyline (and Mt Fuji in Japan) is that you see them from lots of different angles in the city. You can be walking around any part of New York and you’ll catch the Empire Stage Building or the Chrysler Building from a new angle and it immediately gives that area a kind of distinction. It happens in London now too. You can see The Shard from the north, south, east and west.
We took the subway to the central part of town and just walked around with our jaws on the floor. Amazing buildings towering above us.
I expected to see Spiderman flying between the buildings or something. We made our way to the Rockefeller Plaza and took a lift way up to the top. The Top of the Rock as it’s called. There’s an amazing view from up there. You can see the entire city and all the skyscrapers. Don’t go up the Empire State because you can’t see The Empire State Building, which is one of the coolest buildings in the city.

Shopping
I bought some shoes.
“Sneakers” as they call them in the states. In NY everyone wears sneakers.
I don’t know why they call them that.
I don’t think anyone’s using them for sneaking. (Walking quietly, like a robber)
It’s not like everyone in New York is going “Shhh! You’ve got to walk quietly! This is New York! don’t make too much noise!”
In the UK we call them “trainers”. I don’t know what I’m training for. Maybe to get some better shoes.
“Sports shoes” although I’m pretty sure I won’t be doing any sport. Probably the opposite of sport – just standing around & drinking.
Customer service culture.
Everything is massive.
Big salads.
You can just buy a small anything. Small drink, small coffee, small salad.

Metropolitan Opera House
Madame Butterfly. Amazing visuals. Beautiful opera house – art deco design. Modern, but classic. Lovely open space and some chic New Yorkers in the audience. The stage is big and it was well used in the production. It was directed by Anthony Minghella – a British director who directed The English Patient, Cold Mountain etc. His films seem to tell similar stories – lovers who are separated by large distances and who live with the impossible hope of reuniting with their lovers. Madame Butterfly tells a story like this. To be honest, I wasn’t impressed by the story, and the script was pretty awful in my opinion. Maybe it’s because it’s a translation from Italian, and because it’s opera. It’s a different medium, not like cinema. Perhaps it’s not about the script, but about the visuals, and the singing. It’s probably more impressive in Italian. Anyway, I found the script and story to be pretty cheesy, and pretty stupid in fact. I don’t mean to be a philistine or anything, but let’s have a quick look at the story. It’s mainly the characters who I don’t like, I think. I fail to see the romance in it, and instead I just see people being really irresponsible. Story…

Weather
Sunny, then snowing and freezing! (It seems that the weather is pretty variable everywhere these days)
Freezing our asses off, and hiding in a meatball bar – drinking beer and eating spaghetti & meatballs while a small storm raged outside. Bliss!

Madison Square Garden & The Basketball Game
The Chicago Bulls vs The New York Knicks.
Amazing American Entertainment. The good and the bad. The food, the constant entertainment. Is it just an excuse to eat hot dogs?

Central Park
It’s like Hyde Park really, but bigger. The combination of the skyline and the greenery is very appealing. It makes you think of all kinds of Hollywood films. It also makes me think of John Lennon and Yoko Ono walking around in the late 1970s. We saw the disco dancers and roller skaters, and the other performers. It’s very crowded and full of tourists.

Other Highlights
The Comedy Cellar + Seeing Louis CK!

The Highline
Wall Street
Wholefoods Supermarkets
Getting fit from walking
Old buildings – it must get very cold
Classy restaurant in Soho

The McKittrick Hotel & “Sleep No More”
It was a surprise.
This turned out to be one of the strangest and mysterious experiences I’ve had for a long time.
The McKittrick Hotel is a 6 or 7 storey building which has been converted into a bar on one floor, and the rest of the floors have been taken over by a theatre company from London called “PunchDrunk”. They’ve converted all these rooms on all these floors (about 100 rooms) into an elaborate and interactive theatre space. Every evening a performance takes place within this space, and you as the audience can just walk around, exploring the space, investigating rooms, and there is a whole performance also going on around you. Sometimes you see performers, sometimes you follow them around from room to room observing the action from inside the space. The closest thing I could compare it to, was a computer game such as Resident Evil 2, or other suspenseful horror mystery games.
Go through the experience from the beginning – that may be the best way to explain it.
Queue up – normal restaurant or night club in New York.
When you enter – you leave your coats, and a silent woman gives you a playing card. I got number 13, and my girlfriend got a different card. Then we walked into a corridor and it was really dark. We laughed a bit at this because the illusion was beginning. We walked up stairs and into a bar, but it was like a scene from Twin Peaks. There was a girl singing a jazz tune, and people in 1920s costumes standing at the bar. The place was dark and smokey and it felt like Twin Peaks or some American noir thriller. I expected to see Jessica Rabbit at any moment. We got some drinks and waited. Every now and then a man in a tuxedo with a posh British accent would call out numbers, and groups of people would disappear out of the room…
Click here to visit the website for Sleep No More at The McKittrick Hotel.

New York Slideshow

183. Luke’s D-Day Diary (Part 1)

Join me on a trip to Normandy for the commemoration of the World War 2 D-Day landings. Podcasting on my feet, some unexpected things happened during this trip.

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Introduction
Friday 6 June this year was the 70th anniversary of the DDay landings in Normandy. My Grandad Dennis was one of the soldiers who landed on the beach that day. Along with thousands of other men he risked his life to fight the Nazis in the 2nd World War. Many of his fellow soldiers did not survive. Last Friday I went to Caen in Northern France to take part in the D-Day commemorations and to see my comedy hero Eddie Izzard performing stand-up in 3 languages. I recorded a podcast during my trip, and some unexpected things happened! Listen to the episode to join me on my adventure.
6 June 1944 – D-Day
D-Day was a very important moment in World War 2. This was when the Allies fought back against the Nazis on the Western European front. It was a key victory for the Allies, but it was also very costly, particularly for the Americans, who lost thousands of men on June 6 alone. For more information about why D-Day was so important, click here to visit the website of the Imperial War Museum in London.

Ultimately, D-Day was a success, but it came with great destruction and loss of human life. The success was due in part to the very careful planning of the Allied forces before the day, but also to the extremely tough fighting in which the Nazis were engaged in the east with the Soviets.

Why was it called D-Day? Click here to find an answer to this question on the BBC Newsround website.

My D-Day Diary
In this episode you’ll join me on my journey to Caen, a town in Normandy that was a very important location during the Normandy campaign in WW2. Caen is where most of the commemorations were taking place (or so I thought). On Friday the town was visited by lots of people including heads of state such as The Queen, Barack Obama, Francoise Hollande, Vladimir Putin and Angela Merkel. They were all very excited to learn that Luke from Luke’s English Podcast was also going to be in town ;)

I was podcasting regularly during the trip. First you hear me on the train, then walking through the streets of Caen on the way to my rented apartment room, then sitting on the steps of a church with my friend Sebastian Marx (from episode 130), then in a car with Yacine, on the street again, and finally in the train on the way home the next day. In the episode I talk about D-Day, my Grandfather’s involvement in D-Day 70 years ago, my experience of seeing Eddie Izzard’s comedy show, the dumbfounding excitement of having dinner with Eddie Izzard. All in all it was quite an emotional experience all round. I hope you enjoy the episode…

My Grandad, Dennis Hallam

Dennis is 94 this year. 70 years ago he was just 24 years old but he was an officer in the army, in charge of 35 young soldiers. It was his responsibility to lead these men off the boat, up the beach and ultimately all the way through France and deep into enemy territory. It was very brave of him, and he fought for my freedom. Without Grandad, I wouldn’t be here today and there would be no Luke’s English Podcast. Thanks Dennis.

Recently my Dad (Dennis’s son-in-law) wrote to Dennis to thank him for what he did on D-Day. Here is a copy of Dennis’s reply, typed onto a computer by my Mum (Dennis’s daughter). Some words are defined below.

Dear Rick,
Thank you for your “Thankyou” card which made me feel both proud and embarrassed – I was only one of thousands.

It was pretty hairy, and for me and many others it started long before we reached the beach. The Channel crossing was vile – I was dreadfully sick. At some point during the night it was my turn to be Duty Army Officer on the bridge and I had to climb up there being sick and miserable. So it was almost a great relief to get onto the beach, even though wet through, having had to wade ashore, and even though there were assorted bits of metal flying around. What amazes and horrifies me is to think that I was just 24 and in charge of and responsible for a platoon of 35 soldiers. If there were privileges attached to commissioned ranks – and there were, of course, I think we deserved them – a lot was asked of us.

However, it was a war that had to be fought, I think, and one simply called on one’s training and did what seemed right at any situation.

I hope the celebrations will go well and it is good to know that what we did is remembered and honoured.

Thank you again – it was very kind of you.

Yours, Dennis.

Thank you too Grandad.

Eddie Izzard
He’s a stand-up comedian from the UK. I’m a huge fan. I won’t write more about him here because I’m planning to do an episode about him soon, in which I’ll play you some of his stand-up comedy. On 6 June he put on a special show, doing 3 performances – one in German, one in English and one in French. That’s really impressive, especially considering he is learning both German and French as second (or third?) languages. I was pretty awestruck to actually meet Eddie on Friday and then sit down to dinner in his company. I still can’t believe it happened because he’s sort of a hero of mine. Listen to the podcast to hear my reactions. I was quite excited.

Here’s some video of Eddie talking about how Anglo-Saxon English evolved, including his version of how English became a non-gendered language, distinct from the gendered French which existed in England at around the same time.

Here is a video showing footage of the D-Day operation. To be honest, the video doesn’t really show us how big the operation was. It was the biggest naval armada the world had ever seen, and has ever seen since. It must have been an overwhelming sight to behold.

War Is Hell

“Some of you young men think that war is all glamour and glory,
but let me tell you, boys, it is all hell!”
-General William T. Sherman

179. The Ramblings of an Exhausted Teacher

Last night I couldn’t sleep, and so today my mind has turned into jelly. Let me tell you all about it.

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In this episode I talk to you, in a rambling way, about diverse topics such as:

  • Dwayne’s English Podcast
  • Being kidnapped by aliens from Mars
  • Exam fatigue
  • Trouble sleeping last night
  • English at 7.30AM!
  • The rotten contents of my brain!
  • Selling Luke’s English Podcast
  • Saying “Hello” to you
  • Having a conversation with you
  • “The best laid plans of mice & men”
  • The university course I’ve been teaching
  • Sleep (high-energy bit)
  • What are you doing?
  • On a bus
  • Signalling to another person that you’re a LEPer (secret codes)
  • Giving a wink to a stranger
  • On a train
  • Trains and lifts in movies (Bruce Willis)
  • My brain is on its last legs
  • THANK YOU! (Transcripts, donations, reviews)
  • A special hello to the NSA secret agents
  • Hello to Yannick
  • Twitter – it’s what you make of it
  • Whatever
  • Normally on Luke’s English Podcast
  • BBC meeting: Prioritising Luke’s English Podcast
  • This really is the end
  • Be nice to each other
    ;)

Lovely to talk to you,
Goodnight

Luke

jellyPODPIC
Thanks for listening ;)

177. What Londoners Say vs What They Mean

Here are some cliches that you might hear Londoners say, and some explanations of what they really mean.

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This podcast is based on an article from the trendy/hipster website “Buzzfeed”. It’s about some common things that Londoners say, and what they really mean. It’ll not only teach you some vocabulary, but will allow you to get under the skin of London and find out some real inside knowledge of what it’s like to live there for real.

I’ll go through the list and explain everything for you.

Article originally published on BuzzFeed here.
Photo illustration by Matt Tucker, Dan Kitwood / Getty/paulprescott72/Thinkstock

***Please be aware – there is some rude language and swearing in this episode***

1. “London prices” — Rip-off prices.
2. “Sorry” — I’m not sorry.
3. “Sorry” — You have just trodden on my foot, and I loathe you with every fibre of my being.
4. “Excuse me” — You have paused momentarily at the ticket barrier and I am boiling with rage.
5. “My fault entirely” — Your fault entirely.
6. “I’m fine, thanks” — I am barely managing to conceal a churning maelstrom of emotions.
7. “How are you?” — Fine. Just say fine.
8. “See you Saturday!” — Don’t forget to email me twice to make sure that we’re actually meeting on Saturday.
9. “Let’s have lunch” — Let’s walk to Pret and back as fast as we can.
10. “I’m having a party in Wimbledon, come along” — Please travel for four and a half hours as I live in the middle of bloody nowhere.
11. “Open for business” — Oligarchs welcome.
12. “Centre of global finance” — Money launderers’ paradise.
13. “My commute? It’s not too bad. About average” — It involves three modes of transport, takes hours each day, and is slowly crushing my spirit.
14. “Could you move down a bit please?” — I’m not asking, I’m telling.
15. “Could you move down a bit please?” — I am seconds away from a devastating mental collapse.
16. “Could you move down a bit please?” — If you don’t, I will start killing indiscriminately.
17. “Due to adverse weather conditions” — It was a bit windy earlier.
18. “Due to the wet weather conditions” — A tiny amount of rain has fallen.
19. “Please take care when…” — Don’t you dare blame us if…
20. “We apologise for the inconvenience caused” — Via the medium of this dehumanised pre-recorded message.
21. “Due to a signalling failure…” — Due to an excuse we just made up…
22. “Rail replacement bus service” — Slow, agonising descent into madness.
23. “There is a good service on all London Underground lines” — Though this very much depends how you define “good”.
24. “Planned engineering works” — That’s your weekend plans fucked, then.
25. “Would Inspector Sands please report to the operations room immediately” — Ohgodohgod everybody panic, we’re all about to die.
26. “Annual fare increase” — We’re rinsing you suckers for even more money. Again.
27. “House party in Tooting? See you there!” — South of the river? No fucking chance.
28. “I live in Zone One” — I am unimaginably wealthy.
29. “The area is really up and coming” — Only one tramp shouts at me in the morning.
30. “Vibrant” — Actual poor people live here.
31. “Gentrification” — I am so glad they’re rid of the poor people.
32. “Gentrified” — Oh bollocks now I can’t afford to live here either.
33. “Efficient use of space” — Microscopic.
34. “Studio flat” — Bedsit.
35. “Incredible potential” — Absolute shithole.
36. “Affordable” — Uninhabitable.
37. “Deceptively spacious” — Basically a cupboard.
38. “Good transport links” — There’s a bus stop 10 minutes’ walk away.
39. “Authentic” — Fake.
40. “I just bought a flat” — My parents just helped me buy a flat.
41. “Swift half” — Many, many, many, many halves.
42. “Quick pint” — In the pub until closing time.
43. “We’re going on a date” — We’re getting pissed together.
44. “Picnic” — Daytime piss-up.
45. “Barbecue” — Piss-up in the garden.
46. “South London” — Here be monsters.
47. “West London” — Here be posh people.
48. “East London” — Here be young people.
49. “North London” — Here be newspaper columnists.
50. “Oxford Circus” — Roiling hellscape.
51. “Tech city” — Bunch of start-ups you’ve never heard of.
52. “London has some of the best restaurants in the world” — So how come I always end up at Nandos?
53. “London is full of cultural delights” — Which I never visit.
54. “Gourmet coffee” — Ludicrously overpriced coffee.
55. “Exciting pop-up restaurant” — You guys like queuing, right?
56. “We have a no bookings policy” — We hate our customers.
57. “This pub has character” — This is not a gastropub, and I’m scared.
58. “Traditional boozer” — Pub that does not serve wasabi peas.
59. “What do you do?” — How much do you earn?
60. “He works in finance” — He’s a psycho.
61. “He works in media” — He’a a wanker.
62. “He works in PR” — He’s a bullshitter.
63. “He works in tech” — He’s got a blog.
64. “Working hours” — Waking hours.
65. “Greatest city on earth” — Apart from New York.
66. “You know what they say: He who is tired of London…” — I am so tired of London.

170. Basking in My Moment of Glory / Vocabulary of Success & Failure

I won the competition again! I got a hat-trick! Thanks for your votes. I’d like to teach you some expressions related to success and failure in this episode.

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In this episode
I’m just going to talk about it for a little bit, but I’m not just going to bask in this moment of glory, I’m also going to present and then teach some phrases to you. The phrases are all associated with success and failure. I’ll also teach you some really common things you can say to someone who has won, or lost something.

Phrases related to success or failure
So, I’m going to bask in my moment of glory for a few minutes, and talk about winning this competition. I’m going to use about 40 expressions. Yes 40! See if you can notice them. Which phrases or expressions are the ‘target language’ of this episode? Listen carefully, and I’ll explain them properly in a few minutes.

So, I came in first place in the competition, in my category, and I’m really pleased.
This year the competition was a bit different. I had no idea of the vote count.
For all I knew, I could have been in the lead, or neck and neck with the others, or falling behind. I had no idea.
I had my doubts of course.
Lots of people reassured me. “It’s in the bag mate”, “no worries” “it’s a sure thing” “it’s a dead cert” “You’re bound to win”.
But I had no idea if it was a sure thing or not. I didn’t think it was a dead cert or anything. I knew there was some stiff competition.
In fact I was thinking, well, every dog has its day. Maybe I’ve peaked. Maybe that’s it. For all I know, most people are fed up with me now. Maybe I won’t get three. It’ll be a fall from grace – from the heights of winning it two years in a row, maybe I’ll just fall flat this year. Perhaps this podcast is just a flash in the pan, and it’s all going to the dogs now. Perhaps my plans for Luke’s English Podcast will just go up in smoke. Maybe everyone’s just fed up with me now, after all this time. Maybe I’m yesterday’s news.
It turns out that I had quite a considerable lead. I didn’t realise, but I was the front runner in this competition. I was ahead of the pack by quite a lot of votes.
The results came through by email, and everything came up roses.
I won and in the end, in fact I smashed it.
I knocked the ball right out of the park.
I won by about 700 votes, which is a clear majority. It was a landslide victory.
And I owe it to you my listeners.
It’s pretty simple – if you hadn’t voted for me, to the tune of 1017 votes, I wouldn’t have won.
I guess, the reason that you voted for me is not just that you’re generous people, but those people were expressing their appreciation of the podcast. So, that’s very satisfying. It’s a win-win situation.
I guess what I should do now, as has always been the case, is take advantage of this win, and use it as a springboard for more exposure and success. Now I’ve got a foot in the door, so to speak, I could perhaps get more listeners, and attract sponsors and things like that. I’m getting about 4,000 page views a day (which is incredible – and I guess this means that not all the people visiting my page voted for me – in fact, just a fraction did – I wonder why. Maybe some people just don’t realise how incredible Luke’s English Podcast really is. Or perhaps, voting is not why they came to the website.)
so the podcast is coming on in leaps and bounds.
Sometimes I must admit that I feel at a bit of a low ebb. I mean, sometimes I feel a bit low. It can be hard to achieve everything you want, and I think that I’m putting lots of time into this without reaping the benefits (although it’s nice to get comments and recognition), but I usually bounce back from that, and most of the time I’m just really chuffed to have an audience, and the opportunity to talk to people around the world.
Other doubts are that I’m just not getting anywhere, and that I’ve missed the boat somehow – meaning that I should have cashed in on this earlier, and that the opportunity to make this into a profitable venture has already passed, somehow. Sometimes I think that I’ll have to pack it in eventually, like if I have kids, because I won’t be able to devote as much time to it, but then again I think I’ll always be doing something related to Luke’s English Podcast. I’m certainly not planning to throw in the towel any time soon. I have too many ideas that I’d like to create.
At the moment though, I’m riding high. You could say that I’m on cloud 9, because I’m just over the moon to have won. You’re probably fed up with hearing me go on about it now, but at the moment I’m top dog, so I feel I deserve my moment of glory! You’ll just have to bear with me for a few more minutes, and then it’ll be business as usual again, and I won’t bask in the glow of victory any longer. I’ll just focus on teaching you useful things. At the moment it feels like things are on the up and up, and I’ve got the world at my feet. Thanks to everybody for rising to the occasion and showing your support. You’re the best.

Vocabulary
Let’s look again at some of the vocabulary I just used

  1. a hat-trick
  2. to bask in this moment of glory
  3. I came in first place in the competition
  4. be in the lead
  5. be neck and neck with
  6. falling behind
  7. It’s in the bag mate”, “no worries” “it’s a sure thing” “it’s a dead cert”
  8. You’re bound to win
  9. stiff competition
  10. every dog has its day
  11. Maybe I’ve peaked
  12. It’ll be a fall from grace
  13. maybe I’ll just fall flat this year
  14. Perhaps this podcast is just a flash in the pan
  15. and it’s all going to the dogs now
  16. Perhaps my plans for Luke’s English Podcast will just go up in smoke
  17. I was the front runner
  18. I was ahead of the pack
  19. everything came up roses
  20. I smashed it
  21. I knocked the ball right out of the park
  22. It was a landslide victory
  23. if you hadn’t voted for me, to the tune of 1017 votes, I wouldn’t have won
  24. It’s a win-win situation.
  25. use it as a springboard
  26. Now I’ve got a foot in the door
  27. the podcast is coming on in leaps and bounds
  28. I must admit that I feel at a bit of a low ebb
  29. without reaping the benefits
  30. but I usually bounce back from that
  31. I’m just really chuffed to have an audience
  32. I’m just not getting anywhere
  33. I’ve missed the boat
  34. I should have cashed in on this earlier
  35. I think that I’ll have to pack it in
  36. I’m certainly not planning to throw in the towel any time soon
  37. I’m riding high
  38. I’m on cloud 9
  39. I’m just over the moon to have won
  40. at the moment I’m top dog
  41. it’s business as usual
  42. things are on the up and up
  43. I’ve got the world at my feet
  44. Thanks to everybody for rising to the occasion

What to say if someone wins:
Well done!
CongratulationS (don’t forget the ‘s’ at the end of that)
Nice one
Good job!
That’s great news.
I’m really happy for you.
You deserve it.
You’ve done really well (sounds patronising!)
I’m proud of you.
You must be chuffed to bits.
I’m really glad for you.

What to say if someone loses:
Commiserations
Bad luck mate
Sorry to hear that
That’s a pity
Chin up
Oh well, you did your best
Never mind
Don’t let it get you down
Better luck next time
Don’t beat yourself up

I have a few questions for you:
-How are the phrasal verb episodes? Are you listening to them? Are they useful? I just want to make sure it’s worth me doing them regularly.
-Which episodes have you liked best recently?
-How was my conversation with Daniel Burt? Did you find it hard to understand him?
-How do you listen to the podcast? What context are you in?
-How’s my website at the moment?

Do leave other comments too and let me know what’s going on where you are.

Thank you very much for listening and for voting.

168. Please Vote! (and “stuff” like that)

Please vote for me in the Macmillan Dictionary Awards. Voting closes at midnight GMT on 14 February – so you only have a couple of days! Click here to vote for me. Thanks! If you’ve already voted – thanks a lot! In this episode I shut up about the competition after 9 minutes, and then just improvise, while using the words ‘stuff’ and ‘thing’ as much as possible.

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I also talk about a few other things in this episode, including quite a lot of stuff about working for the secret service, drinking coffee and setting the world to rights over a few drinks. So, do listen to all of the stuff and things I say in this episode ;) 

Here’s George Carlin talking about stuff (transcript below)

“Stuff” by George Carlin

I would’ve been out here a little bit sooner but they gave me the wrong dressing room and I couldn’t find any place to put my stuff. And I don’t know how you are but I need a place to put my stuff. So, that’s what I’ve been doing back there. Just trying to find a place for my stuff. You know how important it is. That’s the whole… that’s the whole meaning of life, isn’t it? Try and find a place for your stuff. That’s all your house is. Your house is just a place for your stuff. If you didn’t have so much goddamned stuff you wouldn’t need a house. You’d just walk around all the time. That’s all what your house is, that’s a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You see that when you’re taking off in an aeroplane. You look down and you see everybody’s got a little pile of stuff. Everybody’s got their own pile of stuff and if you leave it you’ve got to lock it up. Wouldn’t want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They don’t bother with the crap you’re saving and nobody’s interested in your fourth grade arithmetic papers. They’re looking for the good stuff. That’s all your house is, it’s a place you keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Now, sometimes, sometimes you’ve got to move. You’ve got to get a bigger house. Why? Too much stuff! You’ve got to move all your stuff and maybe put some your stuff in storage. I mentioned that. There’s a whole industry based on keeping an eye on your stuff.

Enough about your stuff. Let’s talk about other people’s stuff. Did you ever notice that when you go to somebody else’s house you never quite feel 100%  at home? You know why? No room for your stuff! Somebody else’s stuff is all over the place! And what awful stuff it is. Where did they get this stuff? And if you have to stay overnight at someone’s house, you know, unexpectedly, and they’ll give you a little room to sleep in that they didn’t use that often. Someone died in it eleven years ago and they haven’t moved any of his stuff! Or wherever they give you the sleep usually near the bed there’s a dresser and there’s never any room on a dresser for your stuff. Someone else’s shit is on a dresser. Have you noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?! Get that out of there!

Now, sometimes you go on vacation you’ve got to bring some your stuff with you. You can’t bring all your stuff, just the stuff you really like. The stuff that fits you well that month. Let’s say you want to go to Honolulu. You want to go all the way to Honolulu and you’ve got to get two big bags with stuff plus your carry-on stuff plus the stuff in your pockets. You go all the way to Honolulu, you get to the hotel room and you start to put away your stuff. That’s the first thing you do in a hotel room is to put away your stuff. I’ll put some stuff in here. I’ll put some stuff down here. Here’s another place for stuff for you. I’ll put some stuff on here. You put your stuff over there and I’ll put my stuff over here. Here’s another place for the stuff. Hey, we’ve got more places than we’ve got stuff! We’re going to have to buy more stuff! And you put all your stuff away and you know that you’re thousand of miles from home and you don’t quite feel at ease but you know that you must be okay because you do have some your stuff with you. And you relax in Honolulu on that basis. That’s when your friend from Maui calls and says – Hey, why don’t you come over to Maui for the weekend, spend a couple of nights over here? – Aww, shit, no! Now, what stuff do you bring? Right, you’ve got to bring an even  smaller version of your stuff. Just enough stuff for a weekend on Maui. And you get over… And you’re really spread out and now you’ve got your shit all over the world! You’ve got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets so, supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain. When you get over to your friend’s house in Maui and they give you a little place to sleep. There’s a little window ledge, some kind of small shelf and there’s not much room up there but it’s okay because you don’t have much stuff now. And you put what stuff you do have up there. You put your important French toenail clippers, your own readers with that 45-day guarantee, your cinnamon flavoured dental floss and your Afrin 12-hour decongestant nasal spray. And you know you ‘re a long way from home. You know that you must be OK because you do have your Afrin 12-hour decongestant nasal spray. And you relax in Maui on that basis. That’s when your friend says – Hey, I think tonight we’ll go over to another side of the island to stay at my friend’s house overnight – Oh, shit, no! NOW, what do you bring?! Now, you just bring the things you know you’re going to need. Money, keys, comb, wallet, lighter, hanky, pen, cigarettes, contraceptives, vaseline, whips, chains, whistles, dildos and a book.

131. Rickipedia / Listener Q&A with Rick Thompson

A conversation with my Dad, Rick Thompson. We answer various questions sent to us by listeners on Facebook.

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Rick is a journalist who worked for the BBC for about 30 years. He now runs his own media training company, called T-Media. He’s also been my Dad for 35 years. In my family we consider him to be like Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia. His knowledge is pretty encyclopedic. If I have a question, he is usually able to give quite an extended answer to it, although sometimes the facts can be a little bit unreliable. That’s why I’ve started to call him “Rickipedia”.

In this episode I ask my Dad various questions which were sent in by fans of Luke’s English Podcast on Facebook. To visit and like the facebook page, click here.

What do you think of my Dad’s answers? Leave your comments below.

My Dad and I both hope you enjoy this episode, and find it interesting and useful as a way of practising your English listening.

Questions from Listeners
Here are the questions that some of my listeners sent in via Facebook.

[4:47] Tuan Do Sir What’s the difference between UK today and UK 30 years ago?

[12:25] André Domen What does it feel like to be British these days?

[13:52] Bruno Alves Which team is going to win UEFA Champions League this season?

[16:35] Stefano Pierini I’d like to know what he thinks about Eastern Europe, especially the South-Eastern part (Serbia and bordering states)… I know he worked there sometimes.

[21:56] Hiroshi Maruyama Why did you (Rick) get the good idea to present dram set to your sons for Christmas many years ago?

[25:45] Hiroshi Maruyama Have you ever had Tetrisitis?

[27:34] Hiroshi Maruyama Please tell me about the pleasure of bird watching. In Kumamoto, my home town, we have a lake and lots of birds come. I sometime go to watch them.

[31:16] Francesco Moscato Good afternoon Mr. Thompson. A few months ago Luke uploaded an episode about the Maya people and their prophecy about the end of the world. What do you think about them?

[32:25] Romain Bsn Hi Luke’s Dad, I’d like to know what are your thoughts about French people (it can be about any topics)?

[35:54] Lucianna Liveira Ask him if he can speak Portuguese or whatever language?

[37:09] Garoina De Vergerach Hi Mr.Thompson! What dou you think about the Spanish bullfighting?

[39:55] Стефан Слободяну Hi, Luke! Please ask him what he thinks about life in the UK! What are the best and the worst things? :)

[47:10] Claudio Natale Hi Luke! According to your dad, which are the most common stereotypes about Italy and Italians.

[50:12] Claudio Natale What’s his favorite food?

[50:37] Khazan Anna Hi Luke! Please ask your dad what his favourite dishes are. What does he think about English food. What does he have for breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc.?  Does he have high tea?

[57:05] Mariana Ramirez Hey Luke. Does he have any funny anecdotes or stories of you and your brother when you were children.

[1:00:35] Ubiratan Silva Silva Why 2 + 2 = 4?

[1:02:10] Jairo Trujillo García Well, we could ask the Oprah’s legendary: “What are you sure of?” as a final question maybe.

Click here to see the transcript.

123. What’s Been Going On?

A general news update from L.E.P. *Sorry about the bad sound quality!*

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In this episode I let you know what’s been happening recently and look at some recent news stories.

*There is a sound quality problem with this episode. It’s recorded very quietly. Apologies for this. The next episode will be better.*

You can read the news stories from the newspaper below.

Click here to vote for me in the Macmillan Awards (voting closes Jan 21 2013).

News Stories
Here are the news stories I discuss in this episode

HAPISpoon
For those struggling with New Year diets, help is on its way – in the form of a fork that tells you when to stop eating. Designed to prevent users from gobbling down too much food, the HAPIfork monitors the number of times you take food off your plate, and vibrates if you’re doing it too often. Over several meals, as you learn to eat more slowly, the device gradually increases the amount of time allowed between mouthfuls, until it reaches the optimum gap of 10-15 seconds.

HORSE MEAT IN TESCO BEEF BURGERS
Tesco, after the beef burgers in its Everyday Value range were found to contain a significant amount of horse meat. The investigation – by Ireland’s Food Safety Authority – also found horse meat in products on sale at UK branches of Iceland.

CLOSURE OF HMV
The High Street, with the closure of Jessops, the photographic chain. Days later, HMV went into administration.

BELGIAN SAT NAV MISTAKE
A Belgian woman who planned to drive 80km to Brussels ended up 1,450km away, after following her sat nav for two days across Europe. “I was distracted, so just kept on driving,” said Sabine Moreau, 67. “I saw all kinds of traffic signs, first in French, then in German and finally in Croatian.”

KILLER SLUG ARRIVES
Long-standing fears about an invasion of a “killer” slug that devours crops, eats dead mammals and will even feast on dog faeces were justified last week, when the species – Arion vulgaris – was found in a UK garden for the first time, says BBC News online “The presence of this aggressive species is bad news,” said entomologist Dr John Bedford, who identified the Spanish slug in his garden on the outskirts of Norwich. He became suspicious about the slugs on account of their sheer number (Spanish slugs can lay 400 eggs a day, have few predators and can grow up to five inches long) and voracious eating habits: they ate a dead mouse, as well as a wide variety of plants in his garden. And this is just the beginning, warns Dr Bedford. Millions of eggs and baby slugs are likely to be buried under leaves, waiting to emerge in the spring.

TARANTINO
Quentin Tarantino was on prickly form at last week’s London premiere of his new film, Django Unchained. Before appearing on the red carpet, the director sent an assistant out to request that he only be photographed from the front, to hide his big chin. “He will be very upset if anyone tries to photograph him from the side,” she warned. Earlier in the day, Tarantino had quarrelled with Channel 4’sKrishnan Guru-Murthy, after the interviewer asked him a question about the effects of screen violence. “I refuse your question. I’m not your slave and you’re not my master,” he snarled. “I’m shutting your butt down.”

WAS ABRAHAM LINCOLN RACIST?

To The Daily Telegraph
Abraham Lincoln was a racist who deliberately started a war that killed more than 650,000 people. He had no intention of freeing slaves, who freed themselves by fleeing to Unionist lines during a war that was going badly for the North and in which they became needed as recruits.
In September 1862, Lincoln’s preliminary emancipation proclamation declared that the South could keep its slaves if it returned to the Union. Slave holders in the four slave states fighting for the Union were given until 1900 to consider emancipating their slaves. The Emancipation Proclamation itself did not free a single slave, since it was limited to territory controlled by the Confederacy.

Until the day he died, Lincoln’s ideal solution to the problem of blacks was to “colonise” them back to Africa or the tropics. This was what he told a delegation of free blacks he summoned to the White House in the summer of 1863, when he stressed that the mere presence of blacks caused pain to white Americans. He eventually agreed to the 13th amendment, which freed all slaves.

Americans ignore all this since otherwise the history of the Civil War looks little better morally than the US’s treatment of blacks before and after. Steven Spielberg’s film sustains the myth that Lincoln redeemed the US’s racist past. He did not.
Alan Sked, professor of international history, London School of Economics

To The Daily Telegraph
Professor Alan Sked’s assertion that Abraham Lincoln “deliberately started a war that killed more than 650,000 people” is difficult to reconcile with the facts.

Perhaps it is being posited that by standing for election as president and then having the temerity to win that election, Lincoln started the war. In fact, the Confederates were much keener on war than Lincoln, because they arrogantly believed they would win it easily. Professor Sked states that Lincoln “eventually agreed to the 13th amendment which freed all slaves”. This gives the impression that Lincoln was reluctant to do so, whereas, of course, he was the main driving force behind Congress passing the law. His efforts to secure its passage are the basis of Steven Spielberg’s film.

Of course, Lincoln was not a saint but his views on the position and future of blacks in the US changed radically during the course of his presidency. He had to operate in the atmosphere of his time and in the framework of what was politically possible. His achievements need to be judged accordingly, and not condemned for failing to satisfy 21st century criteria.
David Cowell, Lincoln

DAVID BOWIE COMEBACK
David Bowie fans, with the surprise release of the singer-songwriter’s first single in ten years. Where Are We Now? – an elegiac track recalling his years in Berlin in the 1970s – shot straight to the top of the downloads charts. The last release from Bowie (pictured) was in 2003; the next year, he abandoned a tour after suffering a heart attack, and has rarely appeared in public since.