This is an unedited monologue in which I talk about some things which are on my mind at the moment, including how my hair is stopping me from learning French (and vice versa), virtuous and vicious circles, how English is like a shark (or a river – or maybe a shark in a river), some comments about recent episodes and a visit from a friendly bat at my podcastle.
Video Version (try activating the automatic subtitles)
Some vocabulary extracts
I have been deliberating about which microphone to choose
Geeky microphone chat
I have a plethora of microphones
People who have just stumbled across this and are wondering what this is all about
Perhaps you’re in transit somewhere, maybe you’re doing some housework, maybe you’re listening to this in a classroom while your teacher takes a well-earned break, or maybe you are lying in a floatation tank or in zero gravity in the international space station
Stick with me, and enjoy being a LEPster
Here’s a run-down of some of the things I’d like to talk about.
How my hair is stopping me from learning French, and vice versa – how my French is stopping me from getting a hair cut (virtious and viciouscircles)
How my summer is looking, what my plans are and what that might mean for the podcast (busy – difficult to record podcasts in July and August – what’s new?)
Thoughts on recent episodes like Sick in Japan and Spinal Tap
Some metaphors and similes for language learning and teaching
That’s probably plenty!
I’ve been just sweeping it (my hair) back over my head
Maybe I’m being a bit precious about this but I can’t help feeling self-conscious
Taking initiative is very important but it can be hard.
It can just be taking the initiative to speak, to make an effort to communicate with someone, to risk looking a bit stupid, going out of your comfort zone.
But if you take that tiny little risk, it can pay off in various ways.
You need to keep the English moving through you like a river or the water of your English will become stagnant. We all know this.
But without that little impetus to speak, you won’t do it.
If you don’t take initiative, you don’t put yourself into situations in which your confidence can develop.
Starting a virtuous circle is a matter of taking small steps in the right direction.
Micro-decisions or micro-steps.
Now I have to go out of my way to walk to the hairdresser.
Some people commented that the crowd were quiet. Well-behaved maybe.
I should have:
Hyped the crowd up more
Done more stand up at the start
Warmed them up by getting them to make noise.
“French people make some noise!” Etc
I should have done more crowd work.
Spinal Tap – maybe not everyone’s cup of tea, but at the end of the day I am the one who decides what happens in these episodes.
I find that with my learners it’s not just listening skills or vocabulary, but just “being on the same wavelength” and that includes things like little references to culture, or just having a certain sense of humour.
It’s also important that I do stuff that I am personally invested in, or this whole thing just won’t happen. So there.
I love teaching but sometimes I get a bit frustrated because it can be a bit like banging your head against a wall.
You can bring a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.
My story about how I ended up in a Japanese hospital bed, scared out of my brain. Recorded live in front of an audience at the British Council in Paris.
An episode with my friend Moz from the Murder Mile True Crime Podcast. Moz returns to tell us some true stories of crimes in the London area. Expect some smalltalk about living on a boat, some murder stories and an interactive detective game in which we have to solve a murder.
A return to Luke’s Film Club with the classic comedy This Is Spinal Tap, a “mockumentary” about a fictitious rock band from the 1980s. This time I am joined by my brother James and we discuss what was once voted “Funniest comedy film of all time”. Learn some famous quotes from the film, listen to some scenes and understand the comedy with help from James and me.
Gabriel Clark from clarkandmiller.com joins me to discuss a short history of teaching methodology in the world of TEFL. The direct method, the grammar translation method, The Audio Lingual Method, the Structural Approach, Suggestopedia, Total Physical Response, Communicative Language Teaching (CLT), The Silent Way, Community Language Learning, Task Based Language Learning, The Lexical Approach and dogme style – all these get described and discussed. Learn how English teachers teach you English!
Any listeners in the Paris area – This is just a reminder about the talk I am doing at the British Council at the Invalides centre in Paris on Thursday 19 May at 7pm. I will be doing some storytelling in front of a live audience and you can be there if you want. It’ll be sort of a mix of stand up, storytelling and podcasting at the same time as well as a social gathering afterwards, all in English of course.
I will be on the stage telling the story of how I ended up sick in a Japanese hospital bed, scared out of my mind because I thought I was going to die or something – now, that sounds quite scary but the idea is to make it funny and entertaining.
It is a true, personal story of travelling, living in another country, and how things can sometimes get completely lost in translation, leading to some rather dramatic experiences.
If you want to come and be part of the audience – you can. It’s free. Everyone is invited. I will be recording it for the podcast, but if you want to actually be there in the room and have a drink afterwards, socialise in English and so on – then you are welcome. You need to book a seat though, and you can do that at britishcouncil.fr and then click evenements – my event is the one called Talks in English : Le choc culturel – humoriste
Two hours of PodPal action for your enjoyment. This one has a bit of everything. Some audience questions, an idioms game, some dodgy jokes, accents, impressions and more. Video version available.
I’ve got a full two hours of Amber & Paul lined up for you here. Actually, it’s about an hour and twenty mins of Amber & Paul and maybe 45 minutes of just Paul as Amber had to leave to pick up her kids.
There’s a bit of everything in this one. It’s just the usual rambling from the podpals but we answer some listener questions, do a few accents, tell some stories and dodgy jokes and Paul and I play an idioms game at the end. It’s a pretty goofy episode which shouldn’t be taken too seriously. There is a video version on YouTube as well.
Just an announcement for any LEPsters in the Paris area. I am doing a live podcast recording and storytelling show at the British Council on 19 May at 7pm. It’s free, everyone’s welcome and all you need to do is sign up to reserve a seat. All the details are available at www.britishcouncil.fr and then click on EVENTS or événements. I’ll be telling the story of how I ended up in a Japanese hospital scared out of my wits. It’s a story of culture shock, comedy and misadventure. If you can’t come, you should be able to listen to it on the podcast, if the recording comes out ok and the show isn’t a complete flop!
Right, so let’s get back to this podpals episode. I want to point out a stupid slip that I make right at the very start. I wanted to say “Hi, I’m Luke and I need a haircut” but for some reason it came out “Hi, I’m Luke and I’m need a haircut”. I suppose it just shows that native speakers make language errors from time to time, although this was more of a slip than an error. A slip is when you make a mistake even though you know the rule. It just comes out wrong accidentally. An error is when you make a mistake because you don’t know something about the language.
Anyway, I will let you enjoy my language mistake and then settle into over 2 hours of Amber and Paul in the podcastle.
Talking to Stephen from the Simple English News Daily podcast about learning English with the news and whether BBC reporters actually speak like normal humans.
In this episode you are going to listen to a conversation I had with English teacher and podcaster Stephen Devincenzi who does a podcast about learning English with the news.
We recorded a video for this but we had technical problems so only one part of that is available on YouTube. If you go to my YT channel you’ll see it. It’s the part where we discuss the pros and cons of using the news to improve your English. That’s the only video part on YouTube but the audio is fine and you’re listening to it now and this audio will be available everywhere including youTube as usual, and you can check to see if the automatic subtitles are available.
We were plagued by technical difficulties while attempting to do this episode and in fact this is the 3rd time we tried to record. We did this 3 times.
About 3 weeks before this we did another full recording of over an hour which turned out to be unusable because of issues with lag and distorted sound and horrible internet based problems, and then we set up another meeting but had to cancel that due to Stephen’s poor internet connection.
Then Stephen had fibre optic internet set up in his room.
And so did I!
And then I got electricity installed.
But then my fibre optic internet went down (and still is down) but despite the gremlins in the system we managed to record this 3rd version on Zoom with my iphone working as an internet hotspot.
This episode is all about learning English with the news, the pros, the cons, the hows the whys. But is listening to the news a good idea for learners of English? How can you do it? Let’s discuss.
I’ll chat with you again briefly at the end, but now let’s get started.
Ending
THanks for listening. Thanks to Stephen from the SEND7 podcast.
Let us know your thoughts in the comment section as usual. It’s always interesting to read what you have to say.
Have you used the news to learn English?
Did you find it useful?
How do you do it? Do you have a particular method?
Talks in English – British Council Paris – 19 May (Storytelling – Culture Shock & Live Podcast Recording)
In this episode I’m going to talk about what’s going on in Ukraine.
I have LEPsters in both Ukraine and in Russia.
The main thing I want to say is that I just hope that my listeners are able to stay safe – although that sounds hollow because of course some of them won’t be able to stay safe, and many people are being forced to choose not to stay safe.
I know it’s not simple, and there are various factions with different motivations. It’s not completely black and white but most people just want to be able to live their lives and live the best they can, but this war is making that impossible, and for what exactly?
In any case, I’m thinking of my listeners in Ukraine right now, and it seems that a lot of the rest of the world is also thinking of Ukraine at the moment, and sending their messages of support – and I’m talking about ordinary people here, right? Not the leaders or the regimes.
But I also want to say that I am also thinking of my Russian listeners too because it’s not just as simple as the Ukranians being the good guys and the Russians being the bad guys.
Russian people are facing their own difficulties at this moment too, because plenty of Russian people are not in favour of a war in Ukraine – a war which could only make things worse for everyone. There are no winners in war.
So, I’ve decided that I am going to talk about the situation in Ukraine.
So, just to be clear I am talking about it because:
a) I want to show some support for my listeners who are directly involved in this and to echo the message of millions of others around the world right now that this is not what we want.
b) I want to just talk about the situation from our perspective here in the UK.
Some will say “You’re not getting the full story. Putin is just responding to NATO aggression.” Or “Putin is defending the rights of groups within Ukraine who want independence and who are being repressed”. That’s certainly the way he’s trying to justify this.
Some might say “Why don’t you speak about other acts of violence in the world, or times when other nations violate the sovereignty of other nation states?”
Some people might say “What about the UK’s aggression against other countries, including invasions which were dressed up as peacekeeping missions?” Don’t assume that because I’m British I support the actions of my government.
We should also not assume that Russian people automatically support the actions of their government.
The people of a country and the governments or regimes in control of that country are not one and the same thing.
Some other things you could listen to while waiting for new episodes of LEP.
Film Gold: Monty Python & The Holy Grail
I was invited by Antony Rotunno onto one of his podcasts last week to discuss this British comedy classic.
My appearances on ZEP and RNR English at the end of last year
Episode 759 – Notes
I thought I would quickly record an episode to let you know that I’m still alive, LEP still exists, and I just want to give you a bit of an update on what’s going on and have a bit of a ramble.
I have other episodes in the pipeline and I was hoping to upload one of them this week, but for one reason or another, that’s not going to be possible so I’ve decided to record this one quickly and upload it quickly.
Again, I’m just recording this on my handheld recorder but I’m not at home because I can’t record at home, so I’m just in the street, reading some notes from my phone.
Why aren’t you recording this at home Luke?
There are guys working on the flat above ours now.
We are now experiencing what our downstairs neighbours experienced when we did work on our place.
Our flat and the flat upstairs were sold at the same time.
etc…
You can just imaging you are hanging out with me (in the streets of Paris) while I’m recording this. I’m just going walk around the neighbourhood while recording, trying to avoid noise, and trying to avoid the weird stares I might get from people in the street.
It’s been more than 3 weeks since I uploaded an episode and this is only the 4th episode in about 2 months I think.
I told you that the podcast would be delayed and disrupted, right? So it shouldn’t be a surprise.
Why haven’t there been any episodes for almost a month?
Time flies!
Time races by.
“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” (John Lennon)
I always wondered what John Lennon meant by that.
I guess he is expressing a kind of paradox that many of us live with.
While making plans for the future, real life just happens in the meantime, day by day, moment by moment.
We aim for the future, we set our sights on things we would like to achieve, and make plans for those things.
But the fact is, life is really lived in the present, and while we are making plans, life just continues to happen to us in the present moment.
I guess he is saying that we mustn’t forget to live in the moment and enjoy the moment.
I suppose for me at the moment, I mean that while making plans for this podcast, mainly the space in which I’m going to record it, real life has just been happening day by day.
In fact, real life and the day to day tasks and challenges of it have been dominating my time recently, preventing me from being able to actually get to do the things I have been planning.
I’ve had a goal in mind for ages – sitting in my new podcast room which is more or less ready, with all my stuff arranged in a fairly tidy way (things on shelves, in drawers, guitars on walls, pictures or posters on the walls, a working internet connection, a decent desk, a comfy chair (which I might spend most of my life sitting on) the right kind of lights, a kettle, a backdrop for videos that looks pleasing to the eye, a computer which actually works and which allows me to record and edit audio and video properly, and so on and so forth, a kettle and cups of tea, another chair or two for guests… you know) but that goal or vision just keeps getting put back and put back.
Why? I can’t really even explain it – just general stuff has been getting in the way. I think a lot of people manage to move house and get back to their normal lives quite quickly, but this just seems to be taking ages and it’s because of lots of little things.
Here are some reasons why things are taking so long.
My daughter got sick with covid and I had to stay at home to look after her. My wife was also sick at the same time (not covid, mysteriously) and so I was off work looking after them. That was a week.
Teaching at the BC three mornings a week.
Wednesday afternoons with my daughter.
Not a massive amount of time. Normally it’s enough – in normal conditions, but these aren’t normal conditions.
I got sick – a couple of times actually. The first was a virus (not covid-19 – maybe covid-18 or one of the other covids). The second was a really bad back which caused loads of discomfort and a migraine. I couldn’t move, basically! Probably because of general stress but also the fact that I hadn’t sat on a comfortable chair for weeks. No sofa.
Washing machine delivered, but then broken – laundrette
Meeting with guy to fit radiators
Meeting with guy to get quotes for lots of other stuff at home, like making fitted shelves (beyond my skills) and other bits of carpentry
Meeting a guy for a quote for electricity at my office
Meeting guy who came to connect internet
Many other deliveries and things
The list goes on!
Now it’s the school holidays and we’re travelling tomorrow to the UK.
I might be able to record an RT Report or a Gill’s Book Club or something with my brother, but equally, I might not. Maybe we’ll just want to relax and have a holiday. I don’t know. I will see.
Oh, and there are guys working on the flat upstairs, and guys working on the building opposite us. It’s like the entire city is under construction at the moment.
This is just what is going on in my small corner of the universe.
I am not complaining at all. I have a nice life and I’m very happy. But I’m feeling quite impatient and a bit frustrated at not being able to do the things I would like to do, and the fact that my goal keeps slipping further away from me. I will get there eventually! It’s like being in a car and using GPS, and the arrival time keeps changing and getting later and later as the GPS recalculates your route with delays and traffic and so on.
The podcast will be back again, properly, and I will be recording, producing and publishing audio & video episodes and premium episodes at the usual rhythm soon.
Maybe this is a good chance to catch up on episodes, or listen to episodes from the archive…
Chatting to pub quiz host Sarah Toporoff about her love of trivia, and asking each other quiz questions about history, geography, literature, language & pop culture. Can you answer the questions and follow the conversation?
Hello listeners! I hope you’re well. Welcome back to my podcast for learners of English around the world. That’s you, I assume. You are a learner of English and you are around the world.
Welcome to another episode of my podcast. This is where you can get English into your life in the form of some regular listening practise. This time you’re going to hear me in conversation with a guest and the guest in this episode is my friend Sarah Toporoff who also goes by the name The Paris Quiz Mistress.
This is the first time she’s been on the show and that means this one will probably be a little more difficult for you to follow, but that’s alright – it’s all good practice.
Sarah is originally from the USA (so you will be hearing an American accent from her, and a British accent from me in the same conversation – and yes, we actually understand each other of course) Anyway, Sarah is from the states, but these days she lives in Paris like me and basically – Sarah loves pub quizzes. In fact, she loves them so much that she decided to run her own pub quiz nights here in Paris, in English, which she does every Sunday evening.
She writes questions and reads them out in a local pub for teams of people to answer in competition with each other. Sarah also has her own podcast in which she quizzes her friends on various bits of trivia relating to their interests. Her podcast is called The Paris Quiz Mistress Podcast.
So, in this episode I thought I would chat to Sarah about her love of quizzes, and then we could quiz each other with some fun questions, and you can see if you know the answers and generally try to keep up with the conversation and develop your English in the process.
So that’s what you’re going to get – and this is a swapcast, which means that both Sarah and I are publishing this on our respective podcasts.
Before we continue I think I should give you a little bit of support before I throw you into the deep end and make you listen to this fairly fast conversation between two native speakers.
So, let me just clarify a couple of bits of vocabulary and some culture which are key concepts for this episode, and I also have a few questions for you to consider, in order to help you prepare to understand this episode more easily.
Some words and concepts
A quiz
(Forgive me if I am stating the obvious here) A quiz is a fun game or competition in which someone tests your knowledge by asking you questions and you compete with others to answer those questions. Quizzes are usually done just for fun, unlike tests or exams for example, which are done not for fun. They usually involve questions relating to trivia…
Trivia (noun) / Trivial (adjective)
…and trivia basically means trivial information or facts which are interesting or amusing but not really presented for a specific purpose. “Oh, that’s quite interesting isn’t it?” ← that’s usually as deep as it gets. That’s trivia.
It’s just random bits of general knowledge, just for fun – facts and figures, names, dates, places, moments in history, pop culture and so on.
A pub quiz
As the name suggests, a pub quiz is a quiz done in a pub. Big surprise there. But pub quizzes are a very common feature of normal life in the UK where any good pub will have a quiz night. If you’ve ever spent time living in the UK you might have noticed this. Perhaps on a weekday evening in the local pub you might see teams of people sitting at tables competing against each other to answer questions which are read out by a host who might be speaking into a microphone. It’s sort of an excuse to just be in the pub and have a few drinks, but it’s also a really fun way to spend an evening with other people.
A good host will prepare some tricky but achievable questions that make you think and that could spark some conversation later in the evening, and the host might throw in some funny comments here and there just to keep things light. The questions are often quite convoluted and might sound more difficult than they actually are. At the end, the answer sheets from each team are marked and the winning team wins a prize, typically a bottle of wine or something like that. Pub quizzes are also known as trivia nights in some places.
Does that sound familiar? This is the world of the pub quiz. Are they a common feature in your country? Do they happen in pubs? Do you have pubs? Do you have questions? Do you have facts where you live? Are there other people? I don’t know where you are.
Fun quizzes like this also take place in other situations – and I’m talking about the UK and other English speaking places too and often things are similar in our cultures. I’m sure it’s the same for you, but is it? I don’t know. Anyway, where I’m from quizzing is sort of part of our DNA. Any excuse for a quiz – in pubs but also at family get togethers, at school or even at work Christmas parties and things like that.
Sorry for rambling here but seriously – thinking about this stuff might help you to focus your attention on the topic of this conversation bit more closely and follow things more easily, and therefore learn more English from this and as a result get a feeling of accomplishment which you carry with you in your life, bringing extra positivity and confidence which ultimately helps to make you a more successful and fulfilled person in your life, which then impacts on other people in similar ways and the benefits spread out from you in concentric circles improving the lives of other people around you and they start smiling a bit more and ultimately the world becomes that bit better which makes all the difference to the global balance of everything and basically I save the world with my podcast. That’s all I’m trying to do, so don’t stand in my way, ok? The fate of the world depends on this, alright?
Now, just in case this introduction wasn’t long enough, I am now going to quickly read out the questions that Sarah and I are going to ask each other in this episode, just to give you a chance to understand them in advance so you don’t get lost in the conversation.
You see, I am COMMITTED to helping you learn English and that means I am willing to make these episode introductions at least 3 minutes longer than they should be in order to give you a helping hand in understanding fast-paced and naturalistic dialogues between native speakers of English. That is how much I care.
Quiz Questions in this Episode
So listen to these questions, understand them, can you answer them? You’ll be more prepared. Listen to the episode to get the answers.
How many countries make up the UK and can you name those countries?
Which Eastern European country shares zero of the same borders with countries that it shared borders with in 1989 although its physical borders have not moved? (note: I hope you don’t mind the term “Eastern European country”)
Sarah’s Questions for me
These might seem a bit random, but Sarah is a great quiz mistress and there is a link between all the answers to these questions, and it’s a link that is tailored to me somehow.
For which film did the MPAA refuse to allow use of Ben Stiller’s character’s last name in the title, unless filmmakers could find an actual person with that last name?
What 2nd novel by English author Charles Dickens is alternately titled “The Parish Boy’s Progress?”
What film series began in 1988 and stars Bruce Willis as John McClane?
In British English it means “eraser”, in American it means “condom”. What is it?
What is the type of gun that features as a weapon in the board game “Cluedo”?
“Scar Tissue” is the name of Anthony Keidis’ autobiography as well as one of his hits, with which band?
PD James, Edgar Allan Poe and Gaston Leroux are all writers specialising in what genre?
The flags of Romania, Colombia and Moldova all primarily feature which 3 colours?
The first episode of what television drama opens with the news that that RMS Titanic has sunk?
Luke’s Questions for Sarah
My questions are really quite stupid and in fact I am not listing them here because they are too silly and I will let you discover them in all their glory as you listen to the episode. So just listen on if you want to hear my questions for Sarah – but to give you a heads up they focus on music, movies (well, one movie) and British English slang, so there is definitely some vocabulary to learn here!
MMMBop by Hanson
Mmm Bop – Lyrics
Can you tell me any of the lyrics from the first verse?
Answers:
You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all the pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they’re gone so fast
Oh yeah (so much wisdom from someone so young)
And they’re gone so fast, yeah
Oh, so hold on the ones who really care
In the end they’ll be the only ones there
And when you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care (Hair was important to them)
Can you tell me who will still care? (interesting discussion point)
Oh care
Mmmbop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du, oh yeah
Mmmbop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba du dop
Ba du bop, ba du dop
Ba du, yeah
Said oh yeah
In an mmmbop they’re gone
Yeah yeah
Yeah yeah
Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose
You can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows
It’s a secret no one knows
It’s a secret no one knows (Is it really a secret?)
Oh, no one knows
MMMM MMMM MMMM MMMM by Crash Test Dummies
Anaconda – 1997 (Trailer)
Luke’s British Slang Questions
If you describe something as pants, how do you feel about it?
“That film was pants. Total pants.”
Answer: bad
How would you feel if you’d run out of bog roll?
You’d feel gutted of course.
Answer: Bog rollmeans toilet paper
Can you give me a reason why you might feel “chuffed”?
Answer: chuffed means pleased, delighted, happy
What would a British person probably say if they wanted to claim something, like perhaps a chocolate biscuit or a comfortable chair?
Answer: Bagsee!
If someone needed to get some kip, how would they probably feel?
Answer: You’d feel sleepy or tired, because kip means sleep (noun)
What F word is used to say that someone is physically attractive? (It’s like saying “hot”)
Answer: fit
What L word is a generic sickness – like the flu or a bad cold? (a pre-covid expression)
Answer: The lurgy
Where do you put suitcases in a car in the UK?
Answer: in the boot
What about the engine?
Under the bonnet
In any case, whether you can answer these questions or not, I hope you enjoy listening to this conversation about trivia and that you manage to keep up with it all and pick up some English. I will chat to you again very very briefly at the end, but it’s now time to get started properly and here we go…
Listen to the episode to get all the answers to the questions!
In other news…
My pod-room still isn’t ready but it should be connected to electricity and internet in a couple of weeks.
I’m still waiting to get a WIFI internet connection at home.
My shelves haven’t fallen down yet :)
I am working on LEP Premium series 33 parts 3 and 4 and they should be uploaded soon.
Video versions of episodes will return when I have a decent internet connection (and a new computer which is coming too…)
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