Category Archives: Culture

236. OPP: Other People’s Podcasts (Part 1)

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This episode is about other people’s podcasts that I love listening to and that I’d like to share with you. [Download]

Small Donate ButtonThis episode is not about podcasts for learners of English. It’s also not about podcasts made by LEPPERS. It’s just some podcasts that I love to listen to and that I’d like to share. They aren’t for learners of English specifically. This could mean they’re hard to understand for you. However – it could be really good for you to at least try listening to one of these podcasts and see if they click with you. It could be really good for your English, especially if there’s one that really grabs your attention.

I listen to podcasts on my phone, or on my mp3 player when I’m out and about or when I’m doing something. How about you?

LEPPER Podcasts
Zdenek’s English Podcast
Guillaume’s English Podcast (www.talk2learn.ch)
Chris’s English Podcast
Learning with Myself
There’s also a Skype group which you can find out about in the forum. Click here for the LEP Skype thread in the forum.

My Favourite Podcasts
jcwn10. Wireless Nights with Jarvis Cocker (UK)
I just started listening to this so I don’t have much to say except:
– I discovered it on the BBC podcasts website (http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts) by just browsing and clicking.
– Jarvis Cocker is great. He used to the lead singer in a band called “Pulp” who were one of the biggest bands in the UK during the 90s (and after). They were one of the top bands in the musical movement known as Britpop, along with groups like Oasis and Blur. Jarvis is a really cool guy. He’s intelligent, ironic, humorous and has really wide-ranging interests. He’s pretty much interested in everything. Also, he’s my neighbour! I recently discovered that he lives just two doors away from me here in Paris and in fact I see him in the street sometimes.
– The podcast is called “Wireless Nights with Jarvis Cocker” and it covers all kinds of different topics. They’re all like mini-documentaries in which he deals with different subjects each time, all with the aim of “taking listeners on a nocturnal journey around stories of night people.” So, it has this cool, late-night atmosphere in which you go on a little journey into a fascinating new world. Recent episodes have covered subjects like The Moon (including tales of people who have somehow been touched by the various manifestations of the moon, including astronauts who actually walked upon its surface) and this one from last week: “In front of a studio audience, Jarvis Cocker and the BBC Philharmonic weave tales of insomnia, nocturnal inspirations and dark imaginings from the world of classical music – against the backdrop of a President embroiled in the Vietnam War.”
– It won the Prix Italia for Extraordinary Originality and Innovation, a top European radio prize. Originally broadcast on BBC Radio 4.
– Let’s listen to a bit from his most recent episode. Play the intro to the Moon episode.

adamandjoe9. Adam & Joe (UK)
This was my absolute favourite podcast for a few years, and it’s probably the podcast that inspired me more than any other. I’ve talked about Adam & Joe on the podcast before (in an episode about anecdotes). Unfortunately they’re not doing the podcast any more, which is a great pity, but they’re all still available in iTunes – not all of them, but what is available is a kind of ‘best of’ selection. By the way – avoid the Adam&Edith episodes – they’re crap, but all the Adam&Joe episodes are great.
– They’re comedians, radio & TV presenters, Joe is a film director.
– Personally I like the podcast because I feel that I’m totally on the same wavelength as them. Their humour is both stupid and clever at the same time. They observe a lot of funny details about life in the UK and typical experiences that everyone shares, like going to the cinema, how it feels to come back from holiday or going to the doctor. The podcast is full of amusing little jingles and ironic jokes. Adam & Joe have been friends since childhood and that really comes through on the podcast. They’re quite childish but really sweet, funny and charming.
– Play a clip called “Bikes on a train / Posh bloke”

041811browimage8. John Lennon – The Rolling Stone Interviews (UK)
As well as being a great musician, John Lennon was also a fascinating speaker. I find all of The Beatles to be really interesting and funny, but John is the one who catches my attention more than the others. Paul is great, but I often get the sense that he’s being careful about his public image and putting on a slightly contrived ‘upbeat’ persona in interviews. George was very funny, dry and honest – in a similar way to John, but sometimes he could be a little bit evasive as well, and his spiritual beliefs could dominate his interviews. Ringo is great but doesn’t really have that much to say. John is perhaps the most open and honest of The Beatles – in a way that draws you into his heart and mind, revealing his vulnerability, his anger, his intelligence and his humour too. He had an extraordinary life, from childhood all the way through to his untimely death. This set of podcasts is an audio interview he did for Rolling Stone magazine in 1971, and it catches him at quite a vulnerable period in his life. At that time he was still dealing with the breakup of the Beatles, attempting to find a place for himself in the world, breaking down the Beatles myth and setting himself up as an individual in his own right, with Yoko Ono by his side. He’s outspoken, sincere, angry, defensive, aggressive, humorous, and passionate in these conversations. If you’re a Beatles fan, this is essential listening because it gives you real insight into the innermost thoughts and feelings of John Lennon, but if you’re not a Beatles fan I think you’d still find this fascinating because it is such an open, honest and frank interview with one of the most extraordinary people of the last century. The audio quality is a bit sketchy because this is taken from the original tape recording of the interview. The interviewer is not really audible – his questions are very quiet, but John’s answers are easy to hear.
Listen to:

startalk-radio-show-by-neil7. Startalk Radio (USA)
Neil De Grasse Tyson is an astrophysicist with a talent for speaking in a very accessible, engaging and entertaining way about science. His podcast deals with all kinds of different subjects from a scientific point of view. For example, he did one all about zombies, one explaining scientific errors in films and others about robots, aliens, hip hop and sex. He brings intelligent guests onto his show, and is almost always joined by a comedian called Eugene Merman who provides some light comic relief. Ultimately, Tyson inspires your thirst for knowledge and wonder and also provides us with a sense that science can be a kind of spiritual pursuit, or certainly a very meaningful and emotional thing, not just a cold and soulless subject. He’s also very funny!
– Listen to the clip “The most astounding fact about the universe”
– Listen to another clip in which he deals with a question about UFOs

did6. Desert Island Discs (UK)
This is an absolute institution on BBC Radio. This programme has been broadcast on the BBC for over 70 years, with a format that has basically remained unchanged for that whole period. As a child the radio was often playing in the kitchen at home and often this is the programme that would be on. It’s now part of the landscape of not only my childhood, but so many other children too. For me it is on the same level as The Beatles, Doctor Who, BBC News and all these other cultural landmarks of my life and childhood over the years.
It’s basically just an interview programme with a twist. The twist is that we, the interviewer and the guest all imagine that the guest is going to be sent to live on a desert island for the rest of their life. The guest (or ‘castaway’) is allowed to take a few things with them – namely, 8 pieces of music, a book and a luxury item. In the interview they talk about their life, explain their musical choices (usually these relate to specific moments or feelings from their life) and explain their choice of luxury item. The format is a success because it creates an intimate atmosphere in which the interviewee is encouraged to share deeply personal reflections on their life so far, and we get to listen to some of their favourite music too. It’s absolutely delightful and a great way to get under the skin of each guest, and there have been some really great guests on the show.
The interviewer has changed a few times. It used to be a woman called Sue Lawley, who spoke with a crisp RP accent. Now it is presented by Kirsty Young who comes from East Kilbride in Scotland. Kirsty’s accent is absolutely delicious – I mean, it’s very lovely to listen to (and it helps to know that she’s a very attractive and intelligent woman). She very deftly and carefully manages to ask some very revealing questions and guests are usually more than glad to take part and share themselves with the audience. The combination of Kirsty’s lovely accent, her intelligent questioning, the candid intimacy of the guests and the little bits of music we can hear make for a really rewarding listening experience. It’s a BBC podcast so the sound quality is excellent.
You can either subscribe to the current podcast with all the latest DID episodes, or search through the DID archives. I’d recommend that you search through the archives and find names of people you know, like Sir Michael Caine, Ricky Gervais, Steve Coogan, Morrissey or Emma Thompson.
Listen to: Morrissey
Search for Desert Island Discs in YouTube.

Click here for part 2.
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OPPPIC

234. Making “Choons” with My Brother

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Hi everyone, how are you doing? In this episode I’m joined again by my brother James. The last time you heard from him he was talking about how he had dislocated his shoulder after falling off his skateboard. In this episode he gives us an update on his shoulder injury and then we talk about the music (his “choons”) that he has been making recently. What is a “choon”? Basically, it’s a “tune” – a piece of music, typically a piece of dance music, hip-hop, house music, drum & bass or techno. When you hear a really good tune, it’s quite typical to say “Ah this is a CHOOOON!” My brother makes instrumental hip-hop CHOONS. You can hear him talking about his music making process in this episode. [Download this episode] [Update 2021: Jim has lots of new music on Bandcamp which you should check out here –> https://jimthompson.bandcamp.com/music ]

Small Donate ButtonJim’s Choons
Jim is quite modest about his music making, but for years he has been quietly producing lots of instrumental hip-hop on his own using an old Akai MPC2000, which is a bit of music making hardware used by some of the most well known hip-hop, drum and bass and techno producers from the past 15 years or more. Jim bought a second-hand MPC2000 about 5 years ago and he’s been learning how to use it, producing lots of tracks, and they’re getting better and better all the time, and now he’s at a point where he’s released a 10 track album which is available for purchase online via the website Bandcamp – click here to listen to or download his albums. He doesn’t like to talk about his stuff too much because it’s very personal, but in this episode he was quite willing to talk about how he comes up with ideas and how he then turns them into pieces of music. In our conversation you’ll hear us using various technical language related to music and music production.

Download Jim’s Album
Jim’s album is available here: Jim’s page on Bandcamp
You can download it free, or if you think he deserves to be paid, you can choose to purchase the music and you can choose the price! $0 – $1,000,000 – it’s your choice.

Listen to Jim’s tune “Sympathy” (Unofficial remix of “Life’s a Bitch” by Nas) on YouTube here:

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229. Zombies! (Part 2)

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This is the second in a 2-part series all about zombies. In part 1 I talked about the zombie in popular culture, analysis of the zombie as a metaphor and then some rules for surviving the zombie apocalypse. To listen to part 1 – click here. In episode 2 I’m going to take a couple of zombie survival quizzes and then do a language focus on conditionals. [Download]

Small Donate ButtonPart 2: Zombie Survival
The Zombieland 32 Rules of Zombie Survival
Pick a survival quiz and go through it.
The Ultimate Zombie Apocalypse Survival Quiz
The Walking Dead Survival Test

Part 3: Conditionals
I’m going to explain them and give examples. For pronunciation you should repeat the sentences after me. Listen for connected speech and weak forms.

Generally speaking, conditionals refer to sentences with an ‘if’ clause (the conditional clause) and a consequence clause. Sometimes other conjunctions are used, like ‘when’, ‘as soon as’ or ‘unless’.

0 Conditionals
These are used to refer to facts that are always true and the consequences that always happen. It’s a present tense in the ‘if’ clause and a present tense in the consequence clause. For example, “When the sun comes up, the day begins” or “When the sun goes down, the night-time begins and all the evil monsters come out!”
Sometimes we use “when” instead of “if” and this just emphasises that this always happens. Using “if” suggests that it doesn’t always happen, but nevertheless the consequence is always the same. “If I talk about zombies, my girlfriend gets scared”. You could also say, “Every time” or “whenever”.

Also, we can use imperatives in the conditional clause. “If I get bitten, shoot me in the head before I turn into a zombie.”

1st Conditionals
These are used to talk about a future event (which you think is likely) and its logical consequence. It uses a present tense in the ‘if’ clause and a future form in the consequence.
*Don’t put ‘will’ (or any future form) into the ‘if’ clause.
“Shh! Be quiet! If you make too much noise you’ll attract more zombies!”
“If we see another zombie again I’ll lose my mind”
Use ‘when’ to emphasise that you think it’s definitely going to happen.
“When we arrive, we’ll need to check all the rooms for walkers”
Use ‘as soon as’ to emphasise that the consequence will happen immediately.
“As soon as he comes in the room, I’ll smash him in the head with this baseball bat!”

2nd Conditionals
Use these when you’re talking about hypothetical future or present events – not the past. For the future it means things that you don’t expect to happen, but you’re speculating on them anyway. If you think they’re likely, use 1st conditionals. If you think they’re unlikely, use a 2nd conditional. Use a past tense in the ‘if’ clause and then would in the other clause.
*Don’t put ‘would’ in the if clause.
“If I met a zombie in real life, I’d probably be fine”
“You’d be screwed if you met a zombie in real life”
“I reckon I’d survive if a zombie outbreak happened”
It’s also for imagining an alternative present.
“If I was a zombie I’d just stay at home.”
“If I were you I’d get yourself a weapon.”

3rd Conditionals
Here we are imagining an alternative past. It’s not the real past, but a hypothetical one. Use ‘had + past participle’ in the ‘if’ clause and then ‘would + have + past participle’ in the other clause. This one’s tricky because of all the auxiliary verbs.
“If you hadn’t saved me I would have been absolutely fucked” (You saved me and I wasn’t absolutely fucked)
“If he’d been more careful he wouldn’t have got bitten”.
“We wouldn’t have survived very long if we hadn’t stayed together!”

Mixed Conditionals
This could be a hypothetical past action with a present result.
“If he’d been more careful he’d be alive today”

Or a hypothetical present with a past result (yes it’s possible).
“If the government wasn’t so corrupt, this would never have happened.”

That’s it!

228. Zombies! (Part 1)

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This is part 1 of a two-part series about zombies! Right-click here to download.

Small Donate ButtonThis episode is all about zombies – the undead, flesh eaters, walkers, biters, the infected – whatever you want to call them, zombies have become an indelible part of our popular culture now. There are zombies in the cinemas, zombies on TV in shows like AMC’s The Walking Dead, zombies in computer games, zombies online, even zombie walks in which people get together in large groups in order to dress up like zombies and walk around going “uhhhhh”. We’re pretty obsessed by zombies, and I am too. I love zombies and zombie films. Maybe that makes me some kind of sick and twisted individual, but I’m not alone. In fact, I think that zombies are perhaps as popular and present in our culture as vampires and ghosts. But, what is some of the history behind the zombie phenomenon? Where do they come from? What do they want? Why are we obsessed by zombies? How can you survive if zombies really attack? And, how do we talk about zombies in English? That’s the focus of this extra-special and extra-creepy episode of Luke’s English Podcast.

This episode is in 3 parts (and 2 episodes). In the first part we’re going to examine the zombie as a popular cultural phenomenon, then in the second part I’m going to test my survival skills by taking a zombie survival quiz. You can join me as I make various decisions that will affect my chances of surviving the zombie apocalypse. In part 3 we’re going to consider some conditional structures. That’s 0, 1st, 2nd, 3rd and mixed conditionals.

Part 1. The Zombie in Popular Culture
Zombies seem to be more popular than ever, but why? (The Walking Dead, zombie films like Zombieland, Shaun of the Dead and computer games like Left 4 Dead or Resident Evil)

The origin of the word “zombie”.
The concept has been popularly associated with the Vodou religion, but it plays no part in that faith’s formal practices.
In Haitian folklore, a zombie is an animated corpse raised by magical means, such as witchcraft. Zombies featured widely in Haitian rural folklore, as dead persons physically revived by the act of necromancy of a bokor sorcerer (the bokor is a witch-like figure). Zombies remain under the control of the bokor as their personal slaves, since they have no will of their own. Some people say that zombie voodoo magic is real, but others claim that it’s just a chemical or hypnotic control of a living person – causing them to act like mindless slaves of the bokor sorcerer. That’s certainly very creepy and fascinating from a social, biological, chemical and psychological point of view.

The history of zombies in movies and games
There were a few books and films made in the 1930s that used the voodoo legend to create creepy stories, but it wasn’t until I Am Legend, a 1954 horror fiction novel by American writer Richard Matheson and then principally the film “Night of the Living Dead” by George A. Romero that zombies properly entered popular culture. Romero’s film created the image of the zombie that we know today: dead people who return from the grave – the undead, who pray on the living and feed on their flesh, a world in chaos, the individual against masses of brainless enemies. One of the most interesting things about Night of the Living Dead is the subtext of the film. The hero is a black man in America, during the era of the civil rights movement. The ending is particularly relevant as we see that not only does the hero have to deal with the zombies, he also has to deal with the living and their prejudice.

George A. Romero went on to make a number of other zombie films, and really defined the genre and the whole zombie subculture, including most of the ‘rules’ for zombies and the general standards by which all other zombie culture is measured. The thing about zombie movies, and zombie culture in general is that there is always some kind of subtext – a criticism of consumer culture, a comment on the horror of the uneducated masses or the brainlessness of the population at large. For example in his 1978 classic “Dawn of the Dead” the main characters find shelter in a large shopping mall. The zombies too choose to go to the mall, but only out of some distant memory of being alive – they brainlessly walk around the mall in death just like they brainlessly walked around the mall in life. I suppose the subtext is that consumer culture is turning us into mindless mall zombies – unable to think for ourselves, acting like sheep, easily manipulated by marketing, branding and the allure of materialism.

Computer games took over from movies in the 1990s with the release of the Japanese computer game series “Resident Evil” which perfectly captured the lingering dread, the sudden horror and enjoyment of the zombie subculture. Resident Evil…

Then around the millennium we got Danny Boyle’s film “24 Days Later” which brought back zombies, but with a twist. They’re now able to run really fast! This re-booted zombie movies and it wasn’t long before we got a remake of Dawn of the Dead complete with running zombies.

The genre began to ‘eat itself’ and got even more postmodern with the brilliant comedy/horror/romcom (zom-rom-com) “Shaun of the Dead” which was directed by Edgar Wright and starred Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. This is such a brilliant film as it combined the romantic comedy with the zombie movie. In it we follow Shaun, who is not going anywhere in his life. In fact, he is becoming increasingly like a zombie by not challenging himself, being lazy and unabitious, getting stuck in a routine. His girlfriend dumps him and he has to grow up, realise his responsibilities, change his life and try to get her back. While this is all happening to him he doesn’t realise that London has become over-run with zombies. He ends up having to battle them while also saving the girl he loves. It works on lots of levels, it’s quite scary and it’s really funny.

More recently the film Zombieland was a big hit. That was an American made comedy featuring zombies and it’s definitely worth checking out. Now we have the massive hit TV show “The Walking Dead” which is one of the most successful American shows on TV at the moment. At it’s worst it’s just a soap opera with zombies. At it’s best it is a terrifying look at the ways in which people have to survive genuine hardship – how it unites people, how it tests courage and fortitude and how it can test the limits of a person’s morality.

Rules of Zombies
Like vampires, zombies have rules too. Let’s just evaluate those rules.
They’re ‘undead’, meaning they were dead and have come back to life.
You have to die to become a zombie.
Usually you become a zombie by being bitten by one. The bite kills you by infecting you with a virus and then you turn into a zombie.
Usually zombies are caused by some kind of virus, but the outbreak can have more mysterious origins.
Often the cause of the outbreak is somehow connected with the actions of secretive government departments. It’s usually the government’s fault. They’ve been doing medical tests, testing on animals, or have caused some kind of radiation leak that somehow causes the dead to come back to life and start feeding on the living.
Zombies have a taste for human flesh, not dead flesh, although they have been known to feast on recently deceased bodies.
They don’t have super powers, although their powers are a bit ambiguous. Do their muscles retain their full strength? Probably. What actually causes them to move? We’re not always sure. I think it’s an infection of the central nervous system which causes the brain to ‘turn’ and then operate the muscles, usually with one intention – to feed on living flesh, especially brains.
How do you kill a zombie?
You have to remove the head or destroy the brain. That’s it.
Zombies are quite sensitive to sound, and they can see.
If you don’t do that, the zombies will keep on coming, even crawling across the floor without legs.
Some things I’m not sure of: How long can zombies keep going? Can they swim? Is it possible to hide among zombies if you copy them? If you remove their jaws and teeth do they become harmless?

What do zombies represent to us? Some different ‘readings’ of the zombie as a metaphor.
– Disease or viral infection
– The herd mentality of people in society – mindless followers of religion, politicians, or social convention and the way that zombies want to annihilate individuality.
– The drudgery of every day life. Habits turn us into zombies.
– Consumer society and cultural imperialism.
– Fear of overpopulation and the potential for catastrophe, or natural disaster.
– Blaming the establishment (it’s usually due to a failing by the government, or some big thing which is out of the control of ordinary people)
– USA Libertarian fantasy
– Back to basics fantasy
– Post-apocalyptic fantasy

Part 2: Zombie Survival
The Zombieland 32 Rules of Zombie Survival

That’s it! Click here for episode 229. Zombies! (Part 2)
Videos
Nick Frost & Simon Pegg’s Guide to zZombies:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

226. On a Boat (with Moz, Alex and Paul)

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aka “The Boat that Rocked” or “The Drunk Episode 2”. In this episode I spent the evening on a narrowboat on a canal in a part of North London known as Little Venice, with my friends Alex, Paul, Moz and Dave. Join us as we talk about life on a canal boat in London, the first jobs we ever had, answers to a few questions sent in by a long-term listener called Hiroshi, and explanations of various rude expressions and jokes which came up spontaneously during the conversation. Please be aware that this episode contains strong language, rude & explicit content and plenty of bad jokes. Right-click here to download.

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Introduction Transcript

Hello, this is a special introduction to this episode of Luke’s English Podcast.

Before you listen to the recording in this episode I would just like to warn you that this one contains material which you might find offensive, confusing or just plain stupid, including: failed attempts at humour, bad jokes, vague sexual innuendo, rude words, swearing, references to body parts, disgusting sound effects and general behaviour which would definitely be inappropriate in polite company. The conversation that you’re going to hear in this episode was recorded privately with friends, in a very informal setting. It is not suitable for children. It’s not really suitable for intelligent adults either to be honest. I present it here with great reservation, against my better judgement and with the understanding that some of you may find it purile, unamusing, difficult to understand, offensive or just plain unnecessary, and that publishing this episode may cause you to abandon Luke’s English Podcast, throw your phone into a lake, or even spit onto the ground in pure disgust.

However, despite my reservations to that effect, I also realise there is probably a certain section of my audience who love a bit of filth, and who would like nothing better than to listen in on a conversation between some English friends amusing themselves by talking ‘crap’ together over a few beers. In fact, I publish this conversation with those members of my audience in mind. Are you bored of listening to ‘safe’ English which has had all the rudeness removed from it? Are you fed up with being taught only the ‘nice’ English which you are supposed to speak, but which you suspect no native speakers actually use in their private lives? Do you ever have the lingering feeling that native English speakers present a ‘clean’ version of their language to you in lessons, but in private they speak a rather different form of the language – one that involves plenty of inappropriate and immature dirty jokes? Would you like to have the chance to sit with some Londoners on a canal boat while they drink beer and talk nonsense, without regard for the normal polite conventions of a language classroom or a business meeting? Well, if that’s what you want, then all you have to do is keep listening to this episode of Luke’s English Podcast which was recorded several weeks ago on a canal boat in North London, with a group of slightly drunk idiots. Idiots who I am proud to call my friends, and the group which I happily consider myself a member. Welcome to Luke’s English Podcast…

Vocabulary List & Extracts  (thanks to Jack from the comment section)

Vague
Innuendo
Against my better judgement
Some of you may find it puerile
However, despite my reservations to that effect……
Who would like nothing better than to listen in on a conversation……
I’ve done episodes in an apartment.
I’m doing an episode on a boat.
A canal narrow boat.
How do you want me to elaborate?
I’ve taken up running
Just jogging around a lake.
Just purely pragmatic.
The water levels have receded.
We now know exactly what Paul intended to do when he left the boat.
I suppose it’s a good thing he did leave.
The thing about a fart is that it comes from two angles, it’s like a double punch!
If you farted continuously for 6 years and 9 months you’d produce enough energy to create an atomic bomb!
I speak for the listeners as well.
Dave’s boat is moored.
A bollard.
We are getting more and more suggestive.
Innuendo
You are ducking the question.
Are we going to explain euphemisms?
English is a non inflicted Indo-European language.
That was frank and clear language.
It goes down into a sewer.
Anyone who has turned up on a boat….
I’m not so tight.
I’m of Irish stock.
You are in safe hands now.
You all are my bitches (extremely rude, meaning : I own all of you)
The boat just rocked.
Mr. Langton came down from the gunnels onto the bow and he’s coming into the cabin and that rocked the cabin quite heavily to the right. (17:00)
Tsunami
I’m a posh brummie
I’m a scumbag.
You are a proper brummie.
No-one nicked me (my) car!
I’m quite cultured.
Another example of a euphemism
Loaded with euphemisms.
He hasn’t got hairy feet.
Because I can see he has got Stroud T-shirt on. (21:17)
I bet you could drive a tractor.
I’m not babbling like a baby.
We are thundering into a forest now.
You’ve to keep rowing. (25:00)
Curtains are the things you put over a window to keep the light out.
It’s a fireplace.
Give us a sales pitch for this boat.
Prime sales pitch
This is a very tidy boat indeed.
The proud owner doesn’t know because he has had it for that long.
Lovely tiled fireplace.
Wicker basket.
They are particularly nice.
The last time you were on this podcast….
I bought a flat in London for £215,000 which is a rip off.
…..I own a 50 foot boat which is wood panelled……
Canal stretches through large parts of London.
The great thing about London is that : If you have got a canal boat you can kind of live where ever you want to live as long as you are there for like 14 days and then there is a stipulation that you have got to move on.
I’m moving myself across London kind of like itinerant but with like a big boat.
How does it feel to be cut off like this?
You can’t avoid knowing who Barack Obama is!
I’ve kind of lost the thread here….
I haven’t had my telly on since the last Top Gear.
I walked past the BBC this week…..
If you see your news of what’s going on from other places – I think you are better off.
Cargo containing boat.
And people got whiplash.
This news has been covered in London.
Moorhen, wader, swans.
There was a Turkish man who beheaded a swan.
Mute swans.
Grunting noise.
When they take off.
There’s always someone who pipes up……
Just go to the door, onto the back…..(of the boat)
In a perpetual state of……
Walrus, seal.
You are like a windscreen wiper on a car, sprays out…….
I expect that my listeners are not able to pick up on every little rude joke.
Paul or Dave says : Luke spawns like a blue whale.
……Very rude, very unsophisticated but this the way to let off some steam.
Bespoke specially designed questions for you.
Curve ball
You could do with a little bit of grooming.
Liverpudlian
Luke is a man of refinery when it comes to accents.
Radio conditions please.
He said something that was derogatory in nature.
Don’t dwell on it…..
The BBC is slowly being dismantled.
A chemistry assistant
A shoe shine boy.
They paid me in liquorice, hard liquourice.
A local rag (local newspaper)
Broadsheets, tabloids.
I bet you had to ride a long distance because it was in the countryside.
You’ve definitely got something important to bring to the table.
I was working as a shelf stacker.
Tin foods
Tuna
Can I make an interesting observation here?
I worked for the BBC in compliance.
Index finger
I used to edit out programs.
Parapets
Dave has just come back into the room he went out to get a couple of bottles of local beer.
It could well be…..
We need to draw things to a close
And we’ve got to think what we are going to put out there for you.
We’ve achieved less than nothing.
I’m little bit more coherent this time.
I need to wind down the podcast now.
Paul Langton : I appreciate you for listening to the podcast (Luke screams : LUKE’S ENGLISH PODCAST)
I’m just cocker hoop about every thing.
I would like to thank Hiroshi for providing such insightful questions.
On that bombshell it’s time to end the podcast.
Everyone is looking a bit sheepish.

Moz : Luke was coming over from France and I offered him a place on the boat to say but unfortunately Luke Johnson likes to take 15 showers a week minimum.

Paul : Does he need them?

Moz: Well actually, if you look at Luke that’s not his real skin that’s actually…. His skin’s stripped off – That is a wet suit. And basically he kind of lives in a perpetual state of moisture.

Luke: that’s very interesting assessment there that you have presented for me Moz. Which could quite possibly be on the internet for ever now; for every one to access. If they want to find out all about me they could listen to this and they would listen to your description. Someone might write that in fact as a transcript. Someone might be listening to this and transcribing every word and they are gonna write that down.

Dave: Genesis had a track called The Slipper Man, which I’m picturing now. I always thought about slipper man as somebody wet skinned like a walrus or a seal.

Luke: Really? So you are saying I’m a walrus or a seal!

Alex: Or you might be the eggman.

 

222. Luke’s Late Night Podcast (Music Mix)

23 Replies

Take a musical trip through Luke’s hard-drive, in the middle of the night. Right-click here to download this episode.

Small Donate ButtonLate one night recently, I decided to record a podcast while randomly picking some pieces of music from my hard-drive and talking to you at the same time. This is the result.

There’s no language agenda in this episode in particular. It’s just me talking to you about various things while interspersing the episode with some music and other bits and pieces from my hard-drive.

Any music or other content in this episode is presented for educational purposes as part of my effort to aid people in their learning of English and culture.

Below you can read lyrics of some songs from this episode if you’d like to read to check your listening comprehension or pick up vocabulary.

Thanks for listening.

p.s. Competition Update: Voting closes this evening, and then I will count votes and eventually publish an episode with the names of the winner(s). Thanks for voting!

Song Lyrics

Arctic Monkeys – “Mardy Bum”
Buy “Mardy Bum” on iTunes here.
Well, now then Mardy Bum
I’ve seen your frown
And it’s like looking down the barrel of a gun
And it goes off
And out come all these words
Oh there’s a very pleasant side to you
A side I much prefer

It’s one that laughs and jokes around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it’s right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you’re all argumentative
And you’ve got that face on

Well, now then Mardy Bum
Oh I’m in trouble again, aren’t I?
I thought as much
‘Cause you turned over there
Pulling that silent disappointment face
The one that I can’t bear

Well, can’t we just laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it’s right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you’re all argumentative
And you’ve got that face on

Yeah I’m sorry I was late
But I missed the train
And then the traffic was a state
And I can’t be arsed to carry on in this debate
That reoccurs, oh when you say I don’t care
But of course I do, yeah I clearly do!

So laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it’s right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you’re all argumentative
And you’ve got that face on

Black Sabbath – “The Wizard”
Buy “The Wizard on iTunes here.
Misty morning, clouds in the sky
Without warning, the wizard walks by
Casting his shadow, weaving his spell
Funny clothes, tinkling bell

Never talking
Just keeps walking
spreading his magic

Evil power disappears
Demons worry when the wizard is near
He turns tears into joy
Everyone’s happy when the wizard walks by

Never talking
Just keeps walking
spreading his magic

Sun is shining, clouds have gone by
All the people give a happy sigh
He has passed by, giving his sign
Left all the people feeling so fine

Never talking
Just keeps walking
spreading his magic

Charles Bukowski – “The Life of the King”
Unfortunately I can’t find the lyrics to this, but here is a video featuring Bukowski reading his poem “The Life of the King”, if you’d like to listen to it again.

Curtis Mayfield – “Pusherman”
Buy “Pusherman” in iTunes here.
I’m your mama, I’m your daddy,
I’m that nigga in the alley.
I’m your doctor when in need.
Want some coke? Have some weed.
You know me, I’m your friend,
Your main boy, thick and thin.
I’m your pusherman.

Ain’t I clean, bad machine
Super cool, super mean
Dealin’ good, for The Man.
Superfly, here I stand.
Secret stash, heavy bread,
Baddest bitches in the bed,
I’m your pusherman

Silent life of crime
A man of odd circumstance,
A victim of ghetto demands.
Feed me money for style
And I’ll let you trip for a while.
Insecure from the past,
How long can a good thing last?
No, no, no

Got to be mellow, y’all
Got to get mellow, now
Pusherman gettin’ mellow, y’all

Heavy mind, every sign
Makin’ money all the time
My LD and just me
For all junkies to see
Ghetto Prince is my thing
Makin’ love’s how I swing
I’m your pusherman

Two bags, please
For a generous fee
Make your world what you want it to be
Got a woman I love desperately
Wanna give her somethin’ better than me
Been told I can’t be nuthin’ else
Just a hustler in spite of myself
I know I can break it
This life just don’t make it
Lord, Lord, yeah

Got to get mellow, now
Gotta be mellow, y’all
Got to get mellow, now

I’m your mama, I’m your daddy,
I’m that nigga in the alley.
I’m your doctor when in need.
Want some coke? Have some weed.
You know me, I’m your friend,
Your main boy, thick and thin.
I’m your pusherman.
I’m your pusherman.
I’m your pusherman.
I’m your pusherman.
Lord, Lord

Victor Wooten – “Music as a Language” Click here for a version with subtitles.

221. A Cup of Tea with Corneliu Dragomirescu (Part 2)

15 Replies

Here’s the rest of my conversation with “The Son of the Dragon Tamer”. Right-click here to download this episode. Click here to listen to part 1.

In Part 2
– The difference “pleasshure” and “pleasure”, “bio” and “B.O.”
– The importance of ‘passion’ in France
– Jamie Oliver’s (fake?) cockney accent
– British & American English
– Corneliu’s experiences in America, his acting and his accent
– Corneliu’s learning experiences with a great teacher when he was a child
– The interesting course-book (Essential English for Foreign Students by C. E. Eckersley) which Corneliu used in his English lessons
– The myth of ‘the English gentleman’
– Depictions of Englishness in films
– Stereotypes of Romania
– Romania & Bulgaria’s entry into the EU and the media panic related to migrant workers
– Vampires, Dracula and Romania

Please leave your comments in response to this episode! We want to read your thoughts here. Thank you!
Essential English for Foreign Students by C. E. ECKERSLEY

220. A Cup of Tea with Corneliu Dragomirescu

15 Replies

aka “The Son of the Dragon Tamer!” or “The guy with the longest name ever on LEP”
*The conversation starts at 11.39 – so please skip my introduction if you like* Right-click here to download.

Small Donate ButtonThis is one of those episodes in which I invite a friend onto the podcast and we chat about various things. I like these episodes because it gives me a chance to get to know someone on the podcast, and you can listen to some natural free-flowing conversation in English.

Let me tell you a bit about Corneliu. He is a film maker and comedian originally from Romania. He lives in France now where he writes, directs, produces and acts in films and television projects. Corneliu is a polyglot (he speaks Romanian, French and English), he’s a movie-buff and an he’s an all-round great conversationalist and therefore is the perfect guest for another episode of LEP.

Corneliu also has the longest name of anyone ever to appear on LEP so far. His name (first name and surname, but not including middle names) has 9 syllables in it. As far as I know, that’s longest so far on LEP. It’s not a competition or anything – I mean, that’s not the purpose of LEP – to find the guy with the longest name, but still, it’s an achievement of sorts.

Speaking of competitions – thank you for voting for your favourite recordings in the YEP! series of podcasts – episodes 211-218. I’m getting votes all the time. Voting closes at midnight Paris time on 30th September of this year, that’s 2014. I’ll then count the votes and announce the winners – yes, winners. I’ve decided that there will be a winner from each episode. That’s how I roll, okay? Also, if you were wondering about how I will be counting votes, and if I can prevent people voting for themselves again and again – I can see unique codes for every person who comments, so I know when comments are coming from the same computer again and again. I’m not going to count votes which are obviously repeated votes from the same computer, either intentional ones or accidental ones. So, you can put your mind at rest on that one, if indeed you had been thinking about it.

Thank you too if you have left a comment on my last episode which was about Scottish Independence. It’s great to see that lots of people are interested in this subject, and can see parallels with the situations in their countries too in some cases. The referendum is going to take place tomorrow. We’re all waiting with bated breath to see what happens. Will Scotland leave the union? Is the UK as we know it going to change forever? Will the Scottish people make the right decision? Only time will tell.

Now, let’s get back to this episode. Corneliu is an awesome bloke with a proficient level of English and I’m really happy to have him on the podcast. I invited him into the flat and onto the podcast with the intention of asking him some of the usual questions, such as “What do you do?”, “How did you manage to learn English to your current level?”, “Could you tell us about the common myths around your home country?” We ended up chatting for something like 2 hours and got sidetracked by all kinds of interesting things including films, his son, the fall of communism in Romania and 90s pop music. In fact, it felt like it was hard to contain the inspiration in this episode, and the conversation flowed very freely. I hope that comes through in this episode.

Sometimes I find it a bit tricky to begin an episode, and I have to work out a little introduction, but in this one we had already been chatting over a pot of tea for about half an hour and I just hit the record button mid conversation, so we just hit the ground running at the beginning. If you “hit the ground running” it means you start when you’re already moving or in progress. Imagine running in the air, and then you fall, you’d hit the ground running and you’d immediately be off at some speed. That’s what happened in this episode – we hit the ground running because we were already quite deep in conversation and I just hit the record button. That’s why the episode begins quite abruptly.

You will hear a bit of strong language at the beginning – so be prepared for that. I say the “F” word quite early on. What’s the “F” word? Well… it’s the word “Fuck” isn’t it? It’s a bit silly to call it the “F” word – but I suppose it’s a way of referring to the word without actually saying it, because, you know that is a very rude word which you shouldn’t use because it’s not big and it’s not clever. I realise that I’ve just said the word, just a second ago, which defeats the purpose of warning you about the word in the first place… Anyway, you’ll hear me say it in a moment, in the form of the noun phrase “a fuck up” or “a couple of fuck ups”. “to make a fuck up” (noun phrase) = a mistake or “to fuck something up” (verb phrase) = to do something badly, to make a mess of something, to make an error and ruin something. It’s a versatile word – but remember, just because you’ve heard it on LEP it doesn’t mean you should start throwing it around in conversation. Ok, I don’t mean to patronise you, I just felt it was necessary to say that. Anyway, let’s now join my conversation with my mate Corneliu. And here it is…

In Part 1:
– Hitting the ground running, and talking about the challenges of beginning an episode of LEP
– How to say Corneliu’s full name, and how it actually means ‘son of the dragon tamer’, and how awesome that is
– How we know each other
– My (slight) obsession with the film “Taken” starring Liam Neeson
– Fatherhood, Star Wars and how lack of sleep caused Darth Vader turned to the dark side of the force
– The birth of Corneliu’s son Alexander
– The fall of communism in Romania and the film “Independence Day”
– The shock of discovering that Milli Vanilli were fake
– The effect of pop music & capitalist culture on Romania after communism
– Throwing a TV out of a window
– Seeing Hollywood films in Romania in the early 90s
– “Chaplin” by Richard Attenborough, starring Robert Downey Junior
– Martin Scorsese
– Summarising what we’ve said in part 1 so far!

Coming Up In Part 2 (soon):
– The difference “pleasshure” and “pleasure”, “bio” and “B.O.”
– The importance of ‘passion’ in France
– Jamie Oliver’s (fake?) cockney accent
– British & American English
– Corneliu’s experiences in America, his acting and his accent
– Corneliu’s learning experiences with a great teacher when he was a child
– The interesting course-book which Corneliu used in his English lessons
– The myth of ‘the English gentleman’
– Depictions of Englishness in films
– Stereotypes of Romania
– Romania & Bulgaria’s entry into the EU and the media panic related to migrant workers
– Vampires, Dracula and Romania

Please leave your comments in response to this episode! We want to read your thoughts here. Thank you!

219. Scottish Independence

66 Replies

Should Scotland become an independent country? Let’s look at the context, the arguments for & against and the possible outcomes of independence. Right-click here to download this episode.

Small Donate ButtonI know you might be struggling to catch up with all the latest episodes of the podcast – I’ve just uploaded 8 competition episodes, but I suddenly had to record this episode. I’m in a hurry to upload this one, because it’s quite timely and current, and important.

On 18th September the people of Scotland will vote in a referendum to decide if Scotland should remain a part of the UK or become independent. If they vote “yes” and Scotland does become independent from the UK it would cause massive changes to the way the UK is organised. It would be the biggest change in UK history for hundreds of years. It could change everything – not only the lives of the Scottish people, but also the lives of the English, the Welsh and the people of Northern Ireland. In short – this is a massive story for the UK.

This episode contains some audio extracts from this page of The Guardian’s website. I have included these extracts for educational purposes only. The main purpose of this website is to help people with their English. If, however, it is deemed that this is a breach of copyright, I will remove those audio extracts.

I might be a bit late to the subject but I have to talk about it on the podcast.

When you listen to this, the votes may have already been counted, and you’ll know the outcome. But still, I need to talk about it right now. This is a big deal for my country, and it has to be acknowledged.

You might be thinking – oh, but politics is boring. Well, a lot of people find it boring, which is a pity – but really, it shouldn’t be boring. It’s not really an entertaining subject – I mean, there are no jokes in here, but the subject is so important, and really it’s not just about politicians lying and boring the pants off everyone. Really, politics is about the way decisions are made that affect the lives of ordinary people. So, my point is – politics is not boring, it’s fascinating, but you have to focus a bit in order to keep up with it.

In terms of language – in this episode you can expect vocabulary relating to matters of political science and sovereignty, but I’m also planning to play you some extracts of people talking about the subject from different points of view, and all of them are Scottish, so you’re going to hear a few Scottish voices in this episode – and that’s always good for your ears. It’s always good to hear a variety of accents, as you know. Also, we’re going to hear a few politicians advocating their position for or against Scottish Independence – and it’s interesting to notice the ways in which they structure their arguments.

The eyes of the world are on Scotland right now. Let’s look too.

Throughout this episode I’m going to play you short speeches by various people with things to say on this subject. All of them are from Scotland.

Let’s hear now from AL Kennedy, a novelist from Dundee, who gives a kind of overview of this situation.

Also, the situation in Scotland mirrors the situations of many other nations around the world that are seeking independence. Perhaps you can relate to the Scottish situation if you have a similar example in your country.

It makes me think of these things:
How do you define a nation?
If you could start from scratch, and you could create a new country, what kind of constitution would it have? Would it be a monarchy, a republic? Would your nation be part of a union or federation of other nations? How much administrative control would you give to that union? What would your economy be based on? Who would be your trading partners? What currency would you choose? Would you need an army? What kind of foreign policy would you have? How would this affect your neighbours? Would it help them or harm them? Do you care about your neighbours? Why or why not? What is the historical background of your relationship with your neighbours? To what extent does that define your foreign policy towards them? What’s the economic situation in your country? If things are tough and there’s no money – who is to blame for this situation? Should certain people be punished? How can you be sure you’re blaming the right people? What are the dangers of becoming isolated from the rest of the world? What are the dangers of pushing nationalistic propaganda on your people? How will you be seen by the rest of the world? Would you want your new nation to be friends with America, China or Russia? Is it possible to be friends with everyone? Would you like to be in the European Union? What about that little island which exists just off the coast of your country? Are you ready to send your young men out to die fighting for it? Is it worth risking everything in order to feel that old scores have been settled, and that you can proudly hold up your head and say that you’re living in a free country? Who’s going to be the new leader of your new nation? Do you trust this person? Who’s going to be the head of state? How about The Queen? Does it matter what celebrities and rock stars say about your new nation and your policies? Do you have oil in your new country? Are you happy to live in affluence in your country while your neighbours suffer in poverty? Do you have an obligation to look after them? Are flags important? Does it matter what your flag looks like? How about the language people speak in your country? Is it more important that they speak the traditional local language than to be able to communicate with the rest of the world? If a small region wants to govern themselves, should they automatically have the right to do it? Who can really make these decisions with 100% authority and 100% certainty? Don’t people have a right to full representation in a fully functioning parliament? Does democracy even work, or is it too compromised? How are the corporations and capitalists involved in the running of your nation? Is it fair that they have so much influence on decision making? How much of this is about greed, money and capital gain? How much of it is about tribalism and nationalistic rhetoric?

These are the questions which come to mind when I think of this subject, and I think they’re all pretty universal questions that you could apply to any nation. Perhaps you could consider how this applies to your home country, but for now let’s look at Scotland. The land of tartan, kilts, haggis, beautiful rugged countryside, scotch whisky, the Edinburgh festival, gorgeous accents, incomprehensible drunks, Trainspotting, James McAvoy, the Loch Ness monster and so many other wonderful things which I am simply unaware of.

Contents of This Episode
1. A general overview of the Scottish Independence situation: Everything you need to know about Scottish Independence.
2. The arguments for independence.
3. The arguments against independence.
4. The outcome of independence – how would everything change?

1. General Overview
The following are notes and sentences which I used when planning and recording this episode. It is not a full transcription.
18 September.
Biggest constitutional decision in their nation’s history.
“Should Scotland become an independent country?”
What is the UK? What does independence mean?
Scotland & England were united on 1 May, 1707. That’s when the Parliament of Great Britain was formed. They set up shop in Westminster, London. Seem fair?
Ireland joined the union in 1800. Later, in 1920 the ‘southern’ counties of Ireland broke away, leaving just Northern Ireland.
Why did Scotland join?
England didn’t want the Scots to choose a different monarch than the one on the English throne. Scotland & England had been rivals for centuries. They wanted to put a stop to it. Scotland joined primarily for economic reasons. The country was broke. They’d tried to colonise Panama in the late 1690s, throwing all their sovereign wealth into the attempt, but it failed and they lost all their money. England agreed to bail them out in return for union. Perhaps the Scots now feel they’re in a stronger economic position than they were 300 years ago. We’ll see. Perhaps the Scots felt like they were forced into the union in the first place, and they had to pay for their economic mistakes by giving up some sovereignty and decision making power.

The home rule movement – There’s been a home rule movement for ages in Scotland, since the mid-1850s people have been campaigning for some kind of independence. This became more realistic for Scotland in the second half of the last century – after the 1960s basically, which is when the UK decolonising former colonies, particularly in Africa. The Scottish people clearly felt like they wanted a slice of that pie as well.

In the 1990s, under Tony Blair’s government, a ‘devolution agreement’ was signed. Devolution means decentralisation, and it involves Westminster giving more home rule power to Holyrood (Scotland’s parliament), so they can make more decisions that relate only to Scotland, without having full sovereignty. Westminster still can make large decisions that affect many aspects of life in Scotland, but Scotland can also vote on local laws. It’s not full independence.

The leader of the Scottish National Party – SNP is called Alex Salmond. He’s been campaigning for a referendum on Scottish Independence for years. In 2011 his party won control of the Scottish Parliament. This gave him a lot more power to push for a referendum on independence. The UK government agreed to give them the power to hold a referendum. You might think – why did they let them do it?? Why didn’t David Cameron just block it? Well, it’s democracy isn’t it? If the people want it, he can hardly refuse to give it to them. He’s not a dictator. Still, Cameron probably gave him the power because he thought the Scottish people would vote “No”.

So here we are. The referendum is happening on 18 September. A “yes” vote could massively change the UK.

Do Scottish people actually want to be independent?
What do the polls say?
Just a month ago it was about 65% “no” and 35% “yes”. So most people didn’t want independence.
But things have changed as the campaigning has increased.
Now, polls show 49% “no” and 51% “yes”. It seems that slightly more people want to be independent now. In fact, the majority now want independence.
Polls can be misleading. That poll could scare more people into voting “no”. It could also make the “yes” voters more complacent.
Also, in the final moment, people tend to vote for the status quo.
So, I still believe that a “no” vote is more likely, but I could be wrong. It could easily be a “yes” vote.
We’ll find out probably within about 12 hours of the referendum closing, maybe even less.
If it is a “yes” then Alex Salmond has suggested that Scotland’s Independence Day will happen in March 2016.
The SNP would have a massive party after the referendum, and then some very serious and difficult constitutional planning would take place. Currency? Join the EU? How to pay off the national debt? UK flag? Passport control? Ownership of oil fields? Nuclear submarines? Olympic team? The Queen as head of state? We’ll look at this in a bit more detail in a moment.

If “no” then things will still change a lot. Westminster has promised to give Scotland even more devolved power (devo-max) which would allow them to control much more than they do now, without giving them full sovereignty.

Here’s some complex stuff about how the UK is governed, but it’s important to understand this situation. The UK is 4 countries, united. England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. The government for the UK resides in Westminster, London – in the Houses of Parliament. IN the House of Commons there are seats which represent regions across the UK – small regions all over England, Scotland, Wales & Northern Ireland. Each region is called a ‘constituency’ and for each constituency there is a seat in Westminster, and sitting in each seat there is an MP who was chosen by the people of that constituency. They discuss and vote on decisions that affect the whole UK. Laws are passed for the UK as a whole, but then Scotland, Wales & N.Ireland have ‘devolved parliaments’ of their own – and they can make local laws of their own, or adapt some of the laws from Westminster. England doesn’t have a devolved parliament, so England can’t adapt UK laws – because they’re the same! This is really complicated and weird, and we’ll come back to it.

Anyway, the main point is, there are more English MPs in Westminster than Scottish, Welsh or N.Irish ones. This means that they have more power over decision making. So, the decisions of Westminster tend to favour England, because more English MPs are voting. So, the Scots feel a bit annoyed by this. They don’t feel properly represented, even though they have some local power, it’s not enough for them.

There are two campaigns for and against independence. The campaign ‘for’ is called “Yes Scotland”. The campaign against? It’s not called “No Scotland” – it’s called “Better Together”. Let’s look at their arguments.

2. “Yes Scotland” – Scotland should become an independent country.

    The Scots will be able to decide how their money is spent.

Scotland has oil reserves in the North Sea. If independent, Scotland would be able to claim these reserves of oil, and they could make Scotland one of the wealthiest nations in Europe. At the moment, those oil reserves are claimed by Westminster and exported or sold to energy companies to be used across the whole of the UK. Some people argue that careful managing of this resource could allow Scotland to become a super-rich country, like Norway or Switzerland.
But the money question is not just related to oil. It also means that the Scots would be able to carefully manage how much money they give to their citizens (welfare) and how it would deal with its pensions debt. The “yes” campaigners believe that the Scottish people don’t get fair treatment or representation by the government in London, and independence would allow them to make economic decisions that would be more suitable for Scottish people. For example – winter allowances.
Nicola Sturgeon
MSP and deputy leader of the SNP
The Scots would be able to get rid of spending on the nuclear weapons programme and use that money on welfare for people.

    The Scottish people would be represented by the people they vote for

Generally speaking, England tends to vote conservative, and Scotland votes left. The further north you go, the more people vote Labour or SNP. The further south you go, the more people vote for the conservatives. So in elections the Scots never vote for the Conservatives, but they often get Conservative governments because of all the English people who vote for them, and there are more English people than Scottish people. So, time and time again the Scottish people are represented by Tory governments that they didn’t vote for. So, ultimately, independence would make Scotland a more democratic place – they’d be represented by the people they vote for. A lot of Scottish people are really pissed off with the Conservatives.

The Conservatives are right-wing. They like to cut public spending, so the money doesn’t go to communities in Scotland that really need funding. Also, the Conservatives are made up of elitist, English, posh people who went to exclusive schools in the south of England. Most Scottish people don’t like them, don’t feel they care about them, and don’t want to be represented by them. They’re from a completely different world to most Scottish people. Why should they have them in government. Thatcher, for example, didn’t really seem to care about the Scottish people. She introduced policies that caused massive unemployment and poverty there, and she did it in order to break workers unions in order to get more control over the economy, and who did she serve by doing that? Big businesses who are probably owned by rich conservative English people from the south.

Lesley Riddoch
Community activist

Perhaps this strong “Yes” campaign is a reaction to the strict privatisation and austere economic measures of our current Conservative government. I really hope the Tories don’t ruin everything by alienating the Scottish people.

Ultimately, many people believe that independence would create a more fair and equal society in Scotland, a place that would be able to deal with problems like child poverty and health care. Scotland could redirect more money into areas that are important for its people.

3. The “No” Campaign – aka “Better Together” – Scotland should not become an independent country.

Independence is not a magic solution to all of Scotland’s problems.

It’s easy to get carried away by nationalistic sentiment. It can blind people to the reality of what is going on – that independence could cause more problems than it would solve.

“No” campaigners believe that the SNP’s policy for the future is full of unrealistic and impossible promises, and projections based on a very unpredictable view of the future for Scotland. It’s very tempting to see independence as a great thing – the Braveheart version – but in reality it could be complex and problematic.

Think of the difficult economic situation that exists in Europe at the moment. Is this a good time to go off alone – a small nation in the context of huge global uncertainty. It seems risky from an economic point of view, and the oil is not a permanent solution. It’s likely to run out fairly quickly, and then what?

Johann Lamont
MSP and leader of the Scottish Labour party

Why would Scotland want to break away from friends in the UK? Don’t they care about the people in the rest of the UK who need their support? Independence could be a very selfish act.

Also, the “no” campaign are attempting to remind people that Scotland has an integral part of the way the UK has been built over the last 100 years.

Alistair Darling
MP, former chancellor of the exchequer and head of the Better Together campaign

Devolution has been a success, and it will continue to be – with further devolution on the way. There’s no need to break up the entire UK. They’ll get the powers and representation they want in the form of further devolution.

Ruth Davidson
MSP and leader of the Scottish Conservatives

4. The Outcomes of Independence – What would happen if they vote “Yes”?
It’s not completely clear as all the details have not been decided yet.
Here are some possibilities:
Scotland would not be part of the UK any more. It would be “The United Kingdom of England, Wales and Northern Ireland” but surely, the Welsh and N.Irish would not feel very happy about being dominated by the English, without the balancing force of Scotland on board. They’d probably follow Scotland’s example – or they’d be stuck in a difficult situation.
Scotland would become a republic, and the Queen would not be welcome there any more.
Scotland would keep the Queen as head of state, like in Canada.
They’d keep the pound (not what the UK wants).
They’d take the Euro (not what Scotland wants).
They’d get a new currency (risky, and which one?)
They’d join the EU – but why swap one union for the other? It’s not real independence.
They’d try and strike a deal and join some kind of federation with nordic countries like Norway.
They’d want to get rid of all the military technology, nuclear submarines and so on.
They’d build their own army.
They’d erect border control on the border with England. (unlikely)
It might be necessary to show your passport on entry (for English people). (unlikely)
They might impose greater taxes and tariffs on goods entering the country. (unlikely)
It’s more likely that border controls and trade would stay the same, and would be seamless with the rest of Britain/N.Ireland.
They’d have to negotiate with England their responsibility for the UK national debt – it could be a lot!
They’d need to negotiate their share of North Sea oil. That would be complex because they’d discover it was owned by corporations who would not want to give it up without a fight (a diplomatic one).
All these things would take a great deal of time, effort, discussion, negotiation, law making, admin – by the time they get their independence as they imagined it, the world could be quite a different place and being on their own might not seem like such a good idea any more.

Also, it would effect life in England. Without Scottish votes, the Labour party would be screwed. The right-wing would dominate politics. The Conservatives would be rampant without the balancing force of the left-wing Scottish vote. Also, England might argue that it’s time for them to have a devolved parliament of their own – a kind of English Council or something. That would almost certainly be controlled by the conservatives (maybe led by Boris Johnson). The whole country would shift rather dramatically to the right. The tories should always be held in check by left-wing voters. A right-wing England would not be a pretty place, in my opinion. Do the tories really care about ordinary people? They would probably privatise some of the great institutions that make England a decent country – the National Health Service, The BBC – it could be a big change for the worse. The heads of corporations who went to school with high-ranking conservatives would benefit, those in need (the poor) would feel the squeeze.

Also, what about our flag – what would it look like? It’s not a big deal really, but I quite like the Union Jack. It would be a pity to lose it.

It would be a big punch in the stomach for so many of the things we know and love about the UK.

But, perhaps change is inevitable.

Personally, I hope Scotland stays in the UK – but I hope we can arrange a deal in which they get the powers and representation they crave. I personally think we’re better together, but I realise that I’m saying that as an Englishman.

But that’s the situation, and my opinion.

What do you think?
Please leave your opinions as comments.

FINAL RESULT
Since publishing this episode, the people of Scotland voted “No” for independence, which means that Scotland will remain a part of the UK but Westminster will now give further devolution to Holyrood as promised.
For more information on the result of the referendum and what’s going to happen next, click the links below.

Scottish Independence .gov.uk
Scottish Government Website

209. Travelling in Indonesia (Part 2)

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Part 2 of my account of my travelling experience in Indonesia. Please listen to part 1 before listening to this one. Do leave your comments, thoughts and opinions below. Right-click here to download.

Just Notes
Small Donate ButtonWhat you can read here is just notes. It’s not a full transcript. These are notes I wrote to help me remember details about my travelling experience. You should listen to the episode to get the full account.

Write a Transcript
If you would like to write a transcript, just click here to access a google document for this episode.

Notes Start Here (Remember, they’re just notes – they’re not all complete sentences)

What we saw and did in each place
30 hours of travelling? Something like that.
How to deal with jet-lag.
In-flight entertainment.
Podcasting in a toilet on a plane.
Paris to Kuala Lumpur (nice airport)
KL to Jakarta (“My wife’s gone to Indonesia”)
Delayed flight to Yogyakarta. The plane just sits on the runway. Less stress if you’re late, but not if you’re in a hurry to leave!
Surrounded by people at the airport, all trying to get us into their taxi. Quite overwhelming and hard to know who to trust.
Taxi journey to the hotel. Scooter filled streets. Houses, warungs, government buildings, all kinds of shops, garages and other buildings by the side of the dusty roads. Lush green rice fields, coconut trees. More scooters. Colourful flags by the side of the road (don’t know what they represented). Friendly taxi driver but limited English.
D’Omah hotel in Tembi. Owned by an Australian man called Warwick Purser.
Employed people from the village. Worked closely with the local community, and it shows.
Lovely quiet town with friendly people.
It was nearly destroyed in an earthquake.
A labour of love for Mr Purser.
The staff were unbelievably lovely and friendly.
It was a really first class experience, thanks to my girlfriend who is good at finding these places.
We paid a bit more than normal, but we wanted a nice place to start with after our long flight. It was worth it.
Describe the rooms and hotel.
Ristafel on the first night.
Music played by the locals. So charming and sweet – a combination of ukuleles, guitars, a cello, a violin and some traditional wire percussion instruments and drums. It was lovely.
Bintang beer.
Chicken sate and other traditional food.
Yogyakarta – the sultan’s’s palace and the water castle. Apparently there is still a sheik for Yogyakarta. The region is unique as it is governed by him, yet he’s not elected. It seems a bit odd. The people of Yogya can vote in national elections, but they are governed by the sheik. He lets tourists into his palace in the mornings, and relaxes there in the evenings.
Gangs of school kids practising their English.
Broad sandy squares with pagodas for relaxing & playing music.
Galleries presenting beautiful fabrics, paintings of the sheiks through the years and various bits of treasure and so on.
Taman Sari: The water Castle, built at the end of the 18th century – a place where the sheik would spend time with his concubines. There are pools of water where his concubines (women ‘taken’ from different places he had conquered) would wait. The sultan would sit in a tower and watch them, and then pick one or more to then spend time with. He’d probably have sex with them. I wondered how that must have felt – either these women would be horrified (they’d basically been kidnapped) or would they be honoured, because in a way this was an honour and it could mean a slightly better life, and the kids of the sultan born of his concubines had privileges and were considered quite high-status people. It’s amazing that it all occurred there and we were able to see it, including his massive bed and everything.
We were shown around by a guy whose family had lived in the grounds of the castle for generations. He worked as a kind of warden and tour guide, but told us that the modern-day sultan was in the process of selling that land to foreign investors and that in fact it had been sold to Starbucks and they were going to develop it. Imagine what the place might be like in a few years.
Drinks in town – hard to find places. Fun and yet slightly worrying taxi rides in the night into nowhere.
Frogs surrounding the place.
Birds, lizards in the ceiling, a crab in the shower.
Ducks, geese and chicken roaming the village.
Children playing in the streets.
Incredibly loud call to prayer at 4.30AM.
Borobudur – it’s a buddhist temple about an hour from Yogya. It was built in the 9th century. That’s a hell of a long time ago.
6 square platforms with 3 circular platforms on top.
You walk around each platform and look at the carved reliefs on each wall. They tell different stories of the buddha’s life, and of cautionary tales of how a life of pleasure can lead to suffering. There are over 2,500 relief carvings and 504 buddha statues.
The concept/idea of the temple. Attaining Nirvana.
Apparently it was abandoned in the 14th century after the decline of Hindu religion and the introduction of Islam into Javanese culture. It was discovered again in the early 19th century by dutch engineer H.C. Cornelius, on the instruction of the then British ruler of Java Governor-General Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles. H.C. Cornelius set out into the Javanese jungle with some guidelines from the locals. They found it, but it was overgrown, covered in earth and volcanic dust. Gradually over the years it was uncovered and restored. UNESCO did a huge restoration job on it in the 70s and cleaned it up. Now it’s a pilgrimage site and the #1 tourist destination in the country.
We also visited Pranbanan – a hindu temple, similar to Ankor Wat in Cambodia. It’s a number of large temples dedicated to different hindu gods, and with all kinds of carvings on the walls of each temple. Statues of the gods used to be inside each temple but they’re not there any more. Almost the entire thing was knocked to the ground by an earthquake but was rebuilt, although many other surrounding structures are still in rubble. We stayed for the sunset and went home.
There are other things we could have done, including a demonstration of a traditional Ramayana ballet dance telling the old hindu story of King Rama. We didn’t see it in the end – again, we couldn’t do too much!
Flew to Lombok, via Surabaya – a bit of a nightmare to be honest. We stayed in a hotel which we thought was just 10 minutes from the airport, but turned out to be 90 mins away. We had a very long taxi ride in which we were convinced the driver was taking us on a very long route. We arrived at our hotel and it was a bit grim – although nothing too bad! For some reason my g/f was really turned off by it. Other people’s hair in our bed, weird stains, the smell of stale cigarettes and dirty carpet, cigarette burns on the chairs. Nothing too terrible, but enough to freak her out a bit, especially after our long taxi ride into the unknown. We went out to a great hotel (the name escapes me) and had truly delicious chinese food, and wondered why we weren’t staying there instead. We were up very early for our flight to Lombok – stressing that we were going to miss the plane again.

I can’t go into too much detail. Lombok is the next island after Bali and it’s less touristy than Bali, but just as beautiful with lush greenery, sandy beaches, friendly people and a large volcano in the middle. We stayed in the resort area of Senggigi to get some beach-side relaxation. Snorkelling, reading, listening to the live band at sunset, swimming in the pool, enjoying the delicious local food in street side warungs, buying some handicraft in the local market, strolling along the beach at night.
We also started planning our Mount Rinjani climb. I’d like to tell you about that in more detail now.

Mount Rinjani
It’s the second largest volcano in Indonesia, but it’s still pretty massive. It’s nearly 3 times the height of the UK’s highest mountain, Ben Nevis. It’s an active volcano. It rises up about 2,500 metres to the crater rim which is about 7km wide and has a large lake inside, and a smaller volcano which last erupted in 2010. Then the peak of the mountain is on one side of the crater and rises to 3726 metres above sea level.

The Boat Journey (again)
No, we didn’t really capsize in the middle of the sea. The boat arrived safely on the island and we had a lovely 3 days. But, it felt at any moment that things could have gone wrong, and in fact they did go wrong for a similar boat near another Indonesian island just a few days earlier. As I said before in this episode, travelling is an amazing experience, but at times it feels pretty scary! I just wanted to express the adrenaline rush and the fear factor that you can experience in these situations. On that boat ride, and during the Rinjani trek, I really was trying not to panic sometimes. I was trying not to get freaked out by what could have happened. You might be thinking – Luke you worry too much, or something like that, but I think I’m just being realistic. We do have these moments of fear. That’s what makes it exciting. Sometimes you have to get a little close to the edge in order to really experience real life. When everything’s so safe it can get a little boring, can’t it? It’s character building stuff.