Category Archives: Social English

180. How my Brother Dislocated his Shoulder (with James)

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aka “My Brother’s Skateboarding Injury”, or “Breaking Up is Hard to Do”, or “A Cup of Morphine with James Thompson”.

Two days ago my brother fell off his skateboard and dislocated his shoulder. In this episode he tells us all about what happened. We also chat about how he still loves skateboarding after 30 years and lots of injuries.

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The episode is an authentic Skype call between my brother me. It is full of vocabulary for describing accidents, injuries, hospitals and medical treatments. You can find a lot of that vocabulary listed below, and I will explain it for you in the next episode of the podcast. We also talk about skateboarding, and so you’ll hear quite a lot of vocabulary on that subject too.

Vocabulary
Let me help you understand and learn the vocabulary! I have listened to the conversation again and I’ve typed out bits of vocabulary from the first 15 minutes. That’s when he explains how he had his accident, and how he received treatment for it. You can find that vocabulary in a list of sentences below. What I’m going to do now is to record another episode in which I clarify and explain the vocabulary from the interview. I’ll publish that as soon as I’ve finished it. So, in order to get definitions of these phrases, just listen to the next episode.

Transcript
The transcript writing collaboration is going really well, with more episodes being transcribed by listeners all the time. If you fancy transcribing some of this episode, you can. Just click here to access the Google document.

Vocabulary List
Listen to the next episode of the podcast to hear me explain all these things in more detail.
First of all – sorry for my brother’s fiddling and fidgeting!
I’m not too bad thanks, considering…
The day before yesterday I came a cropper on my skateboard and dislocated my shoulder
The arm popped out of its socket
I feel a bit, sort of, run down, I suppose would be the word. A bit tired and achy.
Just the twatty landlord using the garden as some sort of rubbish tip as usual.
I was skating a block-sort of-bar thing. “Skating the block“, not “skating on the block“. (The difference is quite important if you’re a skater)
I was doing a board slide on it but it kept sticking.
I leant back a little bit more.
As I was coming off the block I landed fine but slightly on the tail of the board. (Nose, tail, wheels, trucks, grip tape, bearings – skateboard parts).
Slightly off-balance.
I put my hand down to stop myself falling but I carried on sliding out. My feet slid underneath me and I overextended my arm behind my head, and kind of slammed down on my body. My weight came down on my arm.
I immediately jumped up and it felt really really weird.
I felt a shelf where the shoulder-blade (he means collar bone I think) stopped and then there was a 2 inch gap and then the arm. (ouch!)
I knew at that point that I’d dislocated my shoulder. (Past perfect tense)
To start with there wasn’t any pain, the pain came a few minutes in.
I don’t normally get an ambulance for a self-inflicted injury. (what a tough and modest guy he is!)
I normally get a bus or a taxi to A&E but this time I thought it warranted it because I couldn’t move at all.
[It was] extreme muscular pain, like when you tear ligaments or sprain an ankle.
They were going “ooh” which makes you feel uncomfortable if someone’s wincing, you know.
They tried to get a needle into me for a drip. They couldn’t get a vein to bleed properly. (they couldn’t find a vein)
They put some intravenous paracetamol into me, which didn’t really do anything.
It’s an over-the-counter pain-relief pill.
Why are there no aspirins in the jungle? Because the parrots eat them all (the ‘paracetamol’ – yes, it’s a terrible joke)
I gritted my teeth and tried to ignore what was going on.
They drove me with the ‘woo-woos’ on.
(I tell James to stop fiddling… and he says…) I can’t remember where we were now.
They wheeled me into the hospital. (I attempt to highlight the irony of getting injured on a wheeled vehicle and then being taken into a hospital on another wheeled vehicle – it’s an unsuccessful joke, but never mind)
An Indian-looking doctor looked at me.
You can relax a bit when the doctor seems quite in-control.
He told me exactly what was going to happen. I’d need an x-ray to check that nothing was broken, then if nothing was broken then they’d give me some more drugs and then put it back in, and then they’d give me another x-ray to check that nothing had broken while they were putting it back in, which kind of made me think it might be quite a painful process having it set back.
They gave me some morphine, and it didn’t seem to do anything and I was, like, grimacing a bit, so they gave me some more.
They gave you morphine and they gave you nitrous oxide?
You’re breaking up a little bit.
Do you find that breaking up is very hard to do? (This was probably quite confusing, but it’s my brother’s attempt at a sardonic joke – referring to a famous song which uses the same phrase, but with a different meaning)
“You’re breaking up” (your phone/skype signal is not clear)
“Breaking up is hard to do” (Separating, splitting up with your boyfriend or girlfriend – there are two songs that use this phrase, “Make it easy on yourself” by The Walker Brothers & written by Burt Bacharach, and “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” by Neil Sedaka. You can listen to those original songs below. Sorry about my singing.
(James receives a phone call from his girlfriend because she wants to check that he’s okay. How sweet.)
She was a bit worried about me because I was a bit sort of groggy yesterday.
I feel a bit sort of run down, a bit beaten up, but fine.
Good thing you didn’t hit your head.
I didn’t shatter my collar bone or something like that, that would have been horrible.
It could have been something worse.
You don’t need a cast. Nothing’s broken.

That’s as much as I’m able to do at this moment. You’ll just have to listen to the rest of the conversation unaided and try to work out exactly what we’re saying. It’ll be good for your English!

The Selfie of Jim in Hospital
IMG_9692-3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Songs and Videos

Here are some videos and songs that James and I mention during this episode.

Real skating at Stockwell skate park in Brixton, South London. This is where my brother goes skating. The video was filmed and edited by James himself.

“Make it easy on yourself” by The Walker Brothers

“Breaking Up is Hard to Do” by Neil Sedaka

The French Connection (1971) with Gene Hackman – The amazing car chase scene (A big inspiration for the computer game “Driver” by the way…)

“Speedfreaks” 1989 Skate Movie (Santa Cruz Skateboards)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvS72jdFbEk

158. & 159. A Cup of Tea with… Paul Taylor (Parts 1 & 2)

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Part-transcript available below
Hello! In this Christmas episode I am joined by Paul Taylor who is that rare thing; an English guy who can speak other languages.

Paul is also a stand-up comedian who specialises in observing funny things about different cultures. He is also really good at doing different accents.

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Part 2

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A TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE IS CURRENTLY BEING PRODUCED BY LISTENERS. CLICK HERE TO HELP FINISH THE TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE ON A GOOGLE DOCUMENT :)

In the episode we talk about Christmas traditions, his experiences of living in other countries and plenty of other things, including some examples of different accents in English. Enjoy the show!

Here is a video of Paul performing stand-up comedy around the world:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q2Xn6jEsdQ&w=500&h=281]
And here’s one from a performance in Spanish, with English subtitles:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1H5bpbSm30&w=500&h=281]

Here is a link to the Wkikipedia page for Fawlty Towers, which is the sit-com set in Torquay on the south coast of England. And, here’s a clip from the show. It’s old, but it’s a classic ;)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-oH-TELcLE&w=500&h=375]

Merry Christmas everyone!

Luke

TRANSCRIPT FOR EPISODES 158 & 159
Here is a transcript for the first five minutes of episode 158, sent in by a listener called Dmitry, and proofread by me.
Hello ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to Luke’s English Podcast.

– “What is that sound”, you are probably thinking. Well, that is the sound of Christmas, ladies and gentlemen. It should be the sound of Christmas. It is actually a tambourine.

Paul – Ho, ho, ho!

Luke – Is that Santa?

Paul – Ho, ho, ho!

Luke – It sounds like Santa. It is not actually Santa. It is just my friend Paul Taylor who is joining with me for this episode and it is nearly Christmas, so: Hello, Paul! How are you?

Paul – Hi, Luke! I am doing very well. It is very close to Christmas. 19th of December currently.

Luke – Yes, we’ve just got six days, before Christmas

Paul – I used to be more excited than this…

Luke – Me too.

Paul – …six days, before Christmas. I used to be going crazy.

Luke – Yeah, me too. I used to… I used to get so excited, when I was a kid, about Christmas. You don’t get excited anymore?

Paul – Um, noooooo, I do not know why. It is particularly this year, like I am very unexcited. I have been excited previous years. Um, but just not feeling it this year. I do not know why.

Luke – I used to…, you know, every day, I used to count the days, literally, I used to count down the days until it was Christmas. You know, starting the December I would be – “Only 28 days ’til Christmas”, for example.

Paul – At the beginning of December, when do you have Christmas?

Luke – Yeah, I couldn’t count, I was only four and anyway, I used to get so excited and when it got to Christmas Eve I would be so unbelievably excited that  I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I remember lying in bed on Christmas Eve, I would just trying to force myself to go to sleep, so I could then wake up and open my presents.

Paul – That is scarily similar to how I used to feel. Although, probably, a lot of English people maybe have gone through the same experience. I think, one of the things, that, potentially, I am not excited about or the reason I am not excited about is that I do not have this year an advent calendar. I have noticed that you have a Kinder advent calendar, which I was almost going to buy, but it was  too late and now, you have eaten nineteen chocolates or shared nineteen chocolates.

Luke – It is an advent calendar. What is an advent calendar, Paul?

Paul – An advent calendar – so, “advent” is a term which I do not know where It comes from, but it is the term that depicted for the calendar that usually you open every day. So, there’s twenty-five or some, calendars go up to thirty-one, but most go up to twenty-five in the UK, anyway. Twenty-five days and behind …you open each like a door, each day, and each day, there is something waiting for you. Whether it is a picture… so the kinder calendar you have, em, I presume, has kinder branded chocolates behind, whether it is like a mini egg or whether it is a kinder Bueno. Whether it is whatever else it is. I love kinder.

Luke – You, you are quite familiar with a range of kinder products – Bueno?

Paul – The kinder Bueno and, the kinder Bueno It is like the soft, the soft one is really good. Yeah, that is an advent calendar. I believe an advent – it is something to do with a religious aspect of Christmas.

Luke – Yeah

Paul – But, I can not remember the exact. It is something to do with the date, emmmmmmm.

Luke – Yeah! Exactly! So, when I was a kid, I used to have an advent calendar which, um, was very nice. It had like a religious scene on it, some Christian image on it and you would find, um, there would be a door for each, um, um, day of the month and you would open, you find a door, you open it and behind it there is a picture, like a wise man or something.

Paul – Uhoo.

Luke – Or there would be a picture of, you know, some Christmas related to a Christian thing, a picture of, em, aaaaa, mmmmm, a shepherd, you know, a picture of a church and then, the last picture is always the baby Jesus. There he is. But this one, I have got here, is completely un-Christian, I think it’s… There is nothing religious about this, this Kinder advent calendar at all.

Paul – No, it is, um, it is just full of chocolate. Now, be honest. Well, now, you are probably at the age when it does not really matter, but when you were younger and you had an advent calendars which had chocolate in them

Luke – Yeah

Paul – …did you secretly open, …

Luke – Yeah

Paul – … like… day… twenty-four.. when It was actually the sixteenth and you eat the chocolate and then kind of close it up?

Luke – Yes. I did.

You can help to finish this transcript here, by using a google doc. Click for more information and to collaborate with other listeners. 

150. British Slang (D to G)

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More informal English for you to pick up in this episode as we continue the series on British slang words.

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Below you’ll find a list of slang words from http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml with some other words which I added. The explanations in this list are mainly reproduced from effingpot.com but the explanations you will hear on this podcast episode are all my own.

I hope you enjoy learning more British slang, and stay tuned for more podcasts in the near future.

Cheers!

Luke

Other Slang Episodes In This Series
British Slang (A-C)
British Slang (D-G)
British Slang (H-M)
British Slang (N-Z)

LIST OF SLANG TERMS FROM THIS EPISODE (Thanks also to www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml)
Dear – If something is dear it means it is expensive. I thought Texan insurance was dear. It’s also a term of affection that an older person might use. “Hello dear, would you like a cuppa?”
DIY – This is short for do it yourself and applies not just to the DIY stores but also to anything that you need to do yourself. For example, if we get really bad service in a restaurant (oh, you noticed!) then we might ask the waiter if it is a DIY restaurant – just to wind them up.
Do – A party. You would go to a do if you were going to a party in the UK.
Do – If you drive along a motorway in the wrong lane the police will do you. You could then tell your friends that you have been done by the police. Prosecute is another word for it!
Do someone over
Doddle – Something that is a doddle is a cinch, it’s easy. Unlike ordering water in Texas with an English accent, which is definitely not a doddle!
Dodgy – If someone or something is a bit dodgy, it is not to be trusted. Dodgy food should be thrown away at home, or sent back in a restaurant. Dodgy people are best avoided. You never know what they are up to. Dodgy goods may have been nicked. When visiting Miami I was advised by some English chums that certain areas were a bit dodgy and should be avoided!
the Dog’s bollocks – You would say that something really fantastic was the dog’s bollocks. Comes from the fact that a dog’s bollocks are so fantastic that he can’t stop licking them! Nice huh? Often shortened to just “The dog’s”.
Donkey’s years – Someone said to me the other day that they hadn’t seen me for donkey’s years. It means they hadn’t seen me for ages.
Dude
Faff – To faff is to dither or to fanny around. If we procrastinated when getting ready for bed, as kids, our Dad use tell us we were faffing around.
Fag
Fancy – If you fancy something then it means you desire it. There are two basic forms in common use – food and people. If you fancy a cake for example it means you like the look of it and you want to eat it. If you see someone then you might fancy them if you liked the look of them and wanted to get to know them a little better!!!
Fit – Fit is a word that I have heard a lot recently – it seems to be making a comeback. A fit bird means a girl who is pretty good looking or tasty! A fit bloke would be the male equivalent.
Flog – To Flog something is to sell it. It also means to beat something with a whip, but when your wife tells you she flogged the old TV it is more likely she has sold it than beaten it (hopefully!).
Fluke – If something great happened to you by chance that would be a fluke. When I was a kid my Mum lost her engagement ring on the beach and only realised half way home. We went back to the spot and she found it in the sand. That was a fluke.
Fortnight – Two weeks. Comes from an abbreviation of “fourteen nights”. Hence terms like “I’m off for a fortnights holiday” meaning “I am going on a two week vacation”.
Full of beans – This means to have loads of energy. It is a polite way of saying that a child is a maniac. I was often described as being full of beans as a kid and now it is my wife’s way of telling me to keep still when she is trying to get to sleep. Strangely the same expression in some parts of the US means that you are exaggerating or talking bollocks!
Geezer
Get lost! – Politely translated as go away, this is really a mild way of telling someone to f*** off!
Get stuffed! – Even politer way to tell someone to get lost is to tell them to get stuffed. However, this is still not a nice thing to say to someone.
Getting off with – This seems to be the objective of most teenagers on a big night out. Getting off with someone means making out or snogging them.
Give us a bell – This simply means call me. You often hear people use the word “us” to mean “me”.
Giz
Gobsmacked – Amazed. Your gob is your mouth and if you smack your gob, it would be out of amazement.
Good value – This is short for good value for money. It means something is a good deal.
Goolies – If you have been kicked in the goolies, your eyes would be watering and you would be clutching your balls!
Gormless – A gormless person is someone who has absolutely no clue. You would say clueless. It is also shortened so you could say someone is a total gorm or completely gormy.
Grub – Food. Similar to nosh. I remember my Dad calling “grub’s up”, when dinner was ready as a kid. A grub is also an insect larva. Not usually eaten in England. Actually is available in some Australian restaurants!
Gutted – If someone is really upset by something they might say that they were gutted. Like when you are told that you have just failed your driving test!

148. British Slang (A to C)

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Part 1 in a series about informal British English words and expressions.

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Slang basically means informal language which is used among friends, and which isn’t really appropriate at work or in other formal situations.

This podcast is devoted to teaching you some of the most common and well-known bits of British slang. As a British person born and bred, I have lived in London, the midlands and Liverpool. There is a lot of variation in the slang used in different regions of England or The UK. The words I’m going to teach you are words which are pretty normal for me. Scotland, Wales or Ireland may have different variations. Also, people much younger than me, or people in different ethnic groups might use different slang. The slang I present in this episode is a selection of words I grew up with, or words I often hear my friends using.

*RUDE LANGUAGE*
Slang is not rude by definition, but there are some rude words included in this episode. Please consider this before listening or before using in class.

Below you can read the slang terms I present in this episode, with some explanations.

You can expect more episodes in this series in the future.

Cheers ;)

Other Slang Episodes In This Series
British Slang (A-C)
British Slang (D-G)
British Slang (H-M)
British Slang (N-Z)

SLANG TERMS (from A to C)
Ace – If something is ace it is awesome. I used to hear it a lot in Liverpool. Kids thought all cool stuff was ace, or brill.

Aggro – Short for aggravation, it’s the sort of thing you might expect at a football match. In other words – trouble! There is sometimes aggro in the cities after the pubs shut!

All right? – This is used a lot around London and the south to mean, “Hello, how are you”? You would say it to a complete stranger or someone you knew. The normal response would be for them to say “All right”? back to you. It is said as a question. Sometimes it might get expanded to “all right mate”? Mostly used by blue collar workers but also common among younger people.

Arse – This is a word that doesn’t seem to exist in America. It basically means the same as ass, but is much ruder. It is used in phrases like “pain in the arse” (a nuisance) or I “can’t be arsed” (I can’t be bothered) or you might hear something was “a half arsed attempt” meaning that it was not done properly.

Arsehole – Asshole to you. Not a nice word in either language.
Arseholed – Drunk! Usually in the advanced stages of drunken stupor, someone would be considered “completely arseholed”. Never me, of course!

Baccy – Tobacco. The sort you use to roll your own.
bent – 1. dishonest or corrupt, 2. homosexual (mildly derogatory)

Bladdered – This rather ugly expression is another way of saying you are drunk. The link is fairly apparent I feel!

Bird – girl or girlfriend

blag – lie or talking nonsense.

Blatant – We use this word a lot to mean something is really obvious.

Blimey – Another exclamation of surprise. My Dad used to say “Gawd Blimey” or “Gor Blimey” or even “Cor Blimey”. It is all a corruption of the oath God Blind Me.

Bloke – man
Bloody – One of the most useful swear words in English. Mostly used as an exclamation of surprise i.e. “bloody hell” or “bloody nora”. Something may be “bloody marvellous” or “bloody awful”. It is also used to emphasise almost anything, “you’re bloody mad”, “not bloody likely” and can also be used in the middle of other words to emphasise them. E.g. “Abso-bloody-lutely”! Americans should avoid saying “bloody” as they sound silly.

Blooming – Another alternative to the word bloody.

Bob’s your uncle – This is a well used phrase. It is added to the end of sentences a bit like and that’s it! For example if you are telling someone how to make that fabulous banoffee pie you just served them, you would tell them to boil the condensed milk for three hours, spread it onto a basic cheesecake base, slice bananas on top, add some whipped double cream, another layer of banana and Bob’s your uncle!

Bog – Toilet
Bog roll – Toilet paper

Bogey – green sticky things that come out of your nose

Bollocks – This is a great English word with many excellent uses. Technically speaking it means testicles but is typically used to describe something that is no good (that’s bollocks) or that someone is talking rubbish (he’s talking bollocks). Surprisingly it is also used in a positive manner to describe something that is the best, in which case you would describe it as being “the dog’s bollocks”. Englishmen who live in America take great delight in ordering specialised registration plates for their cars using the letters B.O.L.L.O.X. Good eh?

Bollocking- A severe telling off

Booze – As a noun, an alcoholic drink; as a verb, to drink alcohol, particularly to excess.

Bottle – Something you have after twenty pints of lager and a curry. A lotta bottle! This means courage. If you have a lotta bottle you have no fear.

Brew – a cup of tea

Budge up – If you want to sit down and someone is taking up too much space, you’d ask them to budge up – move and make some space.

Buff – muscular, well built

Bugger – This is another fairly unique word with no real American equivalent. Like bloody it has many uses apart from the obvious dictionary one pertaining to rather unusual sexual habits. My father was always shouting “bugger” when he was working in the garage or garden. Usually when he hit his thumb or dropped a nail or lost something. Today we might use the sh** or the f*** words but bugger is still as common. The fuller version of this would be “bugger it”. It can also be used to tell someone to get lost (bugger off), or to admit defeat (we’re buggered) or if you were tired or exhausted you would be buggered. You can also call someone a bugger. When I won £10 on the lottery my mate called me a “lucky bugger”.

Bugger all – If something costs bugger all, it means that it costs nothing. Meaning it is cheap. If you have bugger all, it means you have nothing.

Bum – This is the part of your body you sit on. Your ass! It might also be someone who is down and out, like a tramp. You might also bum around, if you are doing nothing in particular, just hanging out. Finally to bum something means to scrounge it from someone.

Bung – To bung something means to throw it. For example a street trader might bung something in for free if you pay cash right now! Or you could say “bung my car keys over, mate”.

Butchers – To have a butchers at something is to have a look. This is a cockney rhyming slang word that has become common. The reason “butchers” means a look even though it doesn’t rhyme is because it is short for “butchers hook” and “hook” of course, does rhyme.

Chat up – To chat someone up is to try and pick them up. If you spotted a scrummy girly in a bar you might try to chat her up. Or a girl might try and chat up a chap!

Chav – Someone who is, or pretends to be of a low social standing and who dresses in a certain style, typically badly or in sports clothing. Often used as a form of derogation. Sometimes said to be an acronym for ‘Council-Housed and Violent’ but this appears to have come later. Most likely to come from the Romany for child; chavi.

Cheeky – “Eee you cheeky monkey” was what my mother said to me all the time when I was a kid. Cheeky means you are flippant, have too much lip or are a bit of a smart arse! Generally you are considered to be a bit cheeky if you have an answer for everything and always have the last word. My licence plate on my MX5 (Miata in American) was CHEEKY, which most Texans thought was something to do with bottoms – wrong!! A cheeky pint.

Cheers – This word is obviously used when drinking with friends. However, it also has other colloquial meanings. For example when saying goodbye you could say “cheers”, or “cheers then”. It also means thank you. Americans could use it in English pubs, but should avoid the other situations as it sounds wrong with an American accent. Sorry!

Cheesed off – This is a polite way of saying you are pissed off with something.

Chin Wag – This is another word for a Chat. You can probably tell why!

Chuffed – You would be chuffed to bits if you were really pleased about something.

Cock up – A cock up means you have made a mistake. It has nothing to do with parts of the male body.

Cockney rhyming slang – There are lots of words that make up cockney rhyming slang. These are basically rhyming words like “butchers hook” which means “look”. If you are in London and you hear someone talk about a Septic they are probably talking about you – because it’s short for “Septic tank” which equals “yank”, which is our word for an American. How do you like that!

Cor – You’ll often hear a Brit say “cor”! It is another one of those expressions of surprise that we seem to have so many of. It will sometimes be lengthened to “cor blimey” or “cor love a duck”, depending on where you are. “Cor blimey” is a variation of “Gawd Blimey” or “Gor Blimey”. They are all a corruption of the oath “God Blind Me”.

Cracking – If something is cracking, it means it is the best. Usually said without pronouncing the last “G”. If a girl is cracking it means she is stunning.

Crap – The same word in both countries – but less rude here. I loved watching Brits being interviewed on US chat shows and embarrassing the interviewer when they said something was “total crap”.

134. The Story of Salvo

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The story of a hardcore punk band from London, told by the band members themselves. A transcript for the introduction to this episode is available below.

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This episode is all about the story of a hardcore punk rock band from London. Listen, and you’ll hear an interview with the band members as they talk about how the band started, their influences, and what caused the band to end.

The band is called Salvo. They started in London in 2002 and played gigs in London, Oxford and Manchester before breaking up 4 years later. This interview was done recently. For the first time in years, most of the members of the group were all in the same room at the same time, so I had to take the opportunity to interview them for Luke’s English Podcast.

The members of this band are all my friends. I know most of them from my days at Sixth Form College when I was a teenager. One of them is my brother James. I was also a member of the band for a year or two. The style of music is a little bit hard to categorise. It’s hard, fast guitar rock. It’s pretty hardcore, but quite catchy too. You can make up your own mind about the music as you’ll hear some of it during the interview. If you want to hear more of the music, you can check out the Soundcloud page for Salvo here. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO SONGS BY SALVO

This is an authentic recording. No-one is really grading their English. They’re speaking in the same way that they speak to their friends. The recording took place after a music session in a studio, and a short beer drinking session in the pub. What you’ll hear is natural British English as it really is spoken, in this case by a group of friends, who used to be in a band together, sharing some memories over a few beers.

Just before we start I’d like to just say a few things about learning English.

What’s the best way to learn English? Well, people always say that you learn most when you socialise with native speakers. It’s really hard to do it because you don’t understand everything and sometimes you get lost and feel confused and frustrated. But that confusing feeling is a normal part of the learning process. It means your brain is processing a lot of information. In this case, it’s struggling to deal with words, accents, phrases or pronunciation that you’re not familiar with. It’s a challenge to understand native speakers talking naturally in a social situation, especially if they are good friends who know each other well. But, challenges are an important part of learning English. What is challenging now becomes less challenging in time as you gradually learn more and work out what people are saying. Remember, it is in those challenging situations, like when you’re listening to native speakers, that you really learn the most. It feels difficult, but that is the feeling of your brain trying to work it out, and as a result, learning and improving. So, listen to native speakers talking naturally. It’s one of the best ways to improve.

You can do it with Luke’s English Podcast. I present things to you, like interviews or recordings because I personally believe in them, find them extraordinary or touching, and hope that you will too. Hopefully this personal connection makes the podcast more engaging and as a result, a more effective way to improve your English. Basically, I just want to keep you locked in to listening to natural English, even though it is difficult, because I know that ultimately, it’s beneficial for your English.

So what am I going to present to you this time? Well, how about the story of a real rock band from London? It’s also a genuine story of rock and roll and friendship, told by the people who actually experienced it. That’s what you can hear in this episode. The interview was recorded at a friend’s house on a Saturday evening in South London. Please be aware there are some rude swear words used, but that’s normal, after all, it is rock and roll isn’t it.

So just a few weeks ago when I realised that the members of Salvo were going to reunite in the studio for the first time in over 6 years well needless to say I jumped at the chance to record a podcast episode about it. In this documentary or, if you will, rockumentary that you’re about to hear, I wanted to capture the, the songs, the sounds, the smells, of a hard-working rock band sitting in a room together, talking crap. And I got that. But I got more, a lot more. But hey — enough of my yakkin’. Whaddaya say, let’s boogie!

I expect some of you won’t listen to all of it, but then again for some of you this is exactly what you want. Some of my listeners really like the opportunity to listen to real English like this. Maybe you’re one of those people. In fact recently I recently got an email from a listener called Rei Lung, saying how much he liked listening to recordings like this. This is what Rei said.

Hello Luke!I just wanted to thank you for all you’re doing. The podcast is absolutely brilliant. I particularly enjoy episodes in which you interview your friends or just people on the street (like in those videos on YouTube that you have) because I think that this is when you can hear ‘authentic’ English. Also, the noisier it is and the more people that take part in the discussion or whatever, the harder it is to understand and the more authentic the language used is. I’d love it if you could do more like these, perhaps in a pub or something where people don’t really bother speaking slowly and clearly. Also, I really enjoy it when you talk about British life and culture, very interesting and eye-opening so I’d like to see more of that as well.Cheers

Well Rei, that is exactly what you’re going to get in this episode.

Transcript – A transcript is open on the Transcripts Collaboration page, and I’m slowly checking and correcting it, before adding it to this webpage. Here are the first few minutes of the transcript, which I’ve checked. This script starts at about 4mins into the episode after my introduction.

Jim -You’re listening to Luke’s English podcast. Live on luke.podteacher.luke.podteacher.com
Chris – Have you got a jingle? If you haven’t you’ve got one now.
Matt – Just a way I walk. (?)
Luke – Okay. Sh! Sh!
Chris – Nice jingle.
Luke – That amazing piece of music which you’ve just heard was a demo of an incredible band called Salvo and I’m here with some of not all of the members but some of the principal members of that band. And I’m now going to interview them and find out the details and the history of this really earth shattering, epoch making moment in culture.
I’ve got the members of the band with me. I’m going basically to introduce you them at first.
We’re going to find out who they are. We’re going to find out about the history of this group and I’m sure you’re going to find it fascinating and rewarding to listen to.
So I’ve got four people in front of me. On my left I have Aaron. Then I’ve got…
Aaron – Hi.
Luke – Hello Aaron.
Aaron – Hi. Hello.
Luke – Chris.
Chris – Hi.
Luke – Matt.
Matt – Hello.
Luke – Jim.
Jim – Hello.
Luke – And me who you know already after…
Aaron – And who was also in the band.
Luke – I was in the band too, yeah. So, let’s start with Aaron on my left. Alright?
Aaron – Hello. Hi. My name is Aaron.
Luke – How are you?
Aaron – Very well, thank you. Doing very well.
Luke – Good.
Aaron – Good.
Luke – So … Let’s see. What did you do in the group?
Aaron – Uh… I played bass and sang, did vocals in the group.
Luke – Okay.
Aaron – Bass and sang.
Luke – Okay. And…
Aaron – I wouldn’t call it singing really. But, you know, the vocal bits, yeah.
Luke – Okay. Alright. So, were you one of the original members?
Aaron – Yes. Yeah. Back in, I believe, it was two thousand and…
Chris – Two.
Aaron – 2002… 2002 was when Salvo started, yeah.
Luke – Yeah. Okay. Right. So, you were the bass-player and one of the vocalists.
Aaron – That’s right, yeah.
Luke – That’s right, okay. So let’s… Shall we move on …
Aaron – You can call me a principal songwriter.
Luke – Yes.
Aaron – If you really want to go with a label.
Luke – How many songwriters were there in this band?
Aaron – There were two. There were two dedicated songwriters.
Luke – Okay. Uh… So, you were one of them?
Aaron – Yes. Yeah.
Luke – And who is the other one?
Aaron – Chris King, who is on my left.
Luke – Okay. So let’s … Shall we move over to Chris?
Aaron – Yeah!
Luke – Hi Chris.
Chris – Hi.
Luke – So Chris, what did you do in the group?
Chris – Uh… I … I … I um … I played guitar and I sang… And… uh…, as Aaron said, I wrote some of the songs as well, so.
Luke – Okay. Right.
Chris – Uh… I wasn’t there from the very beginning.
Luke – Really?
Chris – I was almost there from the beginning, very beginning.
Luke – When did you arrive?
Chris – Uh… About a month or so after the band began. Basically I started uh… working… I was working at the same place as Aaron. And uh… and he started… he started the band. And… uh… and after, I think, he had a couple of practices with an old friend of his Dave who was the drummer. And… uh… So… they had a couple of practices and then I came along to one and after that I was in the band. So… yeah…
Luke – How did you… How did you join? Because Aaron and Dave were already in this…
Chris – Yes, you know, you know, basically I think what happened is Aaron and… , Aaron… Actually we’d been talking about it for a while at work. Aaron had a practice with Dave and another guy who he what was…
Aaron – Well it was me, Dave and this guy called Olly who just getting back to that when Chris joined. Chris came down for a practice and Olly had been sort of, you know, taking his top off like when it’s still quite… not even like warm in the room, just taking his top off and playing with his top off. And he’s a little skinny tosser on his guitar. And we were playing really badly and then Chris came down and Olly actually uh… proposed himself, you know, he offered himself for to leave the band because once he heard, you know, Chris play and realised that it was a little bit act of his depth, and went off to read poetry in pubs and that’s where he ended it up.
Luke – So Olly decided… Wait a minute. Just going back to this fact you said that he used to play with no top on. So did you not like that? Did you … Didn’t you … You didn’t like the fact that he’d played without his top on.
Jim – Why such a homophobe Aaron?
Luke – I don’t. I’m just curious to find out about that.
Aaron – It wasn’t somewhat that, you know, playing with you taking top off…
Jim – Some mates are so…, isn’t it?
Aaron – …it’s not about it, it’s like if you just go into a practice room, and it’s not that hot. Why would be… Why would taking your T-shirt off be the first thing you do.
Luke – Chris?
Chris – I … I never … I have sort of never sold that but it doesn’t surprise me. But I’m …
Luke – Okay.
Chris – Yes. So then I came along and things, you know,
< ? > – It’s a recent thing.
Chris – …things went, you know,
James – …From bad to worse.
Chris – …no, no, not into, you know.
Matt – …From bad to punk.

100. Going To The Pub (with James)

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This is your complete guide to how to go to the pub in the UK, including what to say, what to do, and how to get served at the bar.

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Contents

In this episode you’ll learn everything you need to know about going to the pub, including:
– what does a pub look like?
– types of pub
– are you welcome?
– opening times
– how to order
– where to stand
– how to get served
– the order of being served
– buying drinks for others
– tipping
– what to say to the barman
– making conversation with locals
– types of drink
– useful phrases
– what you will find in the pub
– places to sit
– things to do
– smoking
– food
– trouble
– locals
– banter
– football
– pub lunch
– after work drinks
– night out
– beer garden
– What NOT to do
– binge drinking
– getting drunk
– words for ‘drunk’
– the pub in British culture – films, tv shows
If you find the podcast useful, why not donate some money to help me pay for website costs, etc. It’s very simple to do and you can use your PayPal account for other things like online shopping. It’s completely safe and trustworthy.

The pub in English films and TV shows, and other videos:
*Comedy is difficult to understand sometimes, especially in another language. If you don’t find any of this funny, never mind!*
This is a scene from classic comedy show Only Fools and Horses. People describe this scene as “the bit when Del Boy falls through the bar”
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63rcdLeXiU8&w=400&h=301]
This is a useful guide to the different kinds of pub you can find in London. Here’s a quick summary: Tourist Pubs – they’re bad because they’re really big, fake, the beer is flat, the food is stodgy. Old Man Pubs (often found in Soho or Mayfair, but anywhere in London really) are great because they’re quite small, authentic, have interesting interior design, friendly people (usually), cheaper, more relaxing, a good place to buy good ale, a good place for banter or intelligent conversation with locals. Hipster Hangouts (typical trendy pubs in East London) are where you find fashionable cutting-edge cool young people. Family Pubs can be found in quieter parts of London, e.g. the suburbs or areas near the river for example near Hammersmith Bridge, which is my neighbourhood. The Dove in Hammersmith that’s my local, and a great pub!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMrBcc5kdSE&w=560&h=315]
This is a home-made video. The commentator sounds like a cockney. See what happens when an American goes to a pub in the UK. He makes a few mistakes, the muppet. (‘Muppet’ is a cockney slang word meaning ‘idiot’ – it’s an affectionate insult)
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XHyze2trng&w=420&h=315]
This is Al Murray The Pub Landlord. He is a comedy character based on the cliche of British pub landlords. He’s patriotic, small minded and ridiculous. He’s a horrible, stupid guy and that is the joke (yes, it’s weird British humour). One thing I should say – this character is a criticism of this kind of stupid character but also a kind of celebration too. It’s complicated.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyGgL_omNbI&w=420&h=315]
This clip is from a disgusting, rude and hilarious (in my opinion) BBC comedy called “Bottom”. The show is about two characters called Richie and Eddie. They are both sad lonely perverts who live in London. They are desperate to pick up some girls and ‘have it off’ with them, but they have absolutely no charm whatsoever. They have no luck with women. This is because they are stupid, sex-obsessed, completely unsophisticated and downright rude. In this episode they have bought some ‘sex spray’. This is a chemical which they believe will make them irresistibly attractive towards women. They go to the pub to try and pick up some ‘birds’. In fact, the spray doesn’t work at all. It only attracts dogs, which chase them through the street outside the pub. All their pathetic attempts to seduce the women fail miserably. Richie and Eddie are played by actors Rik Mayall and Ade Edmonson, who are two of the UK’s favourite TV comedy actors. Enjoy the clip, but watch out if you’re easily offended by very crass humour. It’s a rude show, but I love it.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uVWlbh30HM&w=400&h=301]
A nostalgic and slightly sad documentary film about the decline of the pub in Britain.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ASxxiuCAcA&w=400&h=301]
Barack Obama drinks a pint of Guinness in a pub in Ireland (the best place to drink good Guinness). You might here them saying Slainte (pronounced Slanche), which what they say in Ireland before having a drink (like ‘cheers’ in the UK). Enjoy – and doesn’t it make you want a pint of Guinness?
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5206QjFWmAk&w=400&h=233]

80. Essential Social English

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Some of the most important phrases, responses and common expressions used in English every day. These are sets of phrases that always go together. Some people call them adjacency pairs.

Small Donate ButtonRight-click here to download the episode.
Learn many of these vital expressions in this episode of Luke’s English Podcast, one of the fastest growing English language learning podcasts online.

Below you will see all the phrases which I teach in this episode. Thanks for listening. Please make a donation if you can.

Social English

1. Hello:
Alright?
-Alright
How’s it going?
-fine thanks
-not bad
-pretty good
-could be worse
What are you up to? / What have you been up to? / What’s new?
-nothing really
-not much
-this and that
-same as normal/usual
-the same old thing really
–how about you?
How’re things? / How’s things?
-fine thanks
How are you getting on?
-fine thanks

2. Invitations:
Are you up to anything later?
-not much, no
(Do you) want to come to a party?
I’m going to a party if you’d like to come
Do you fancy coming to a party later?
-sounds good
-yeah, sure
-why not
-yeah alright
-I can’t make it
-I’m doing something

3. Goodbye:
See you later
See you in a bit
See ya
Take care
-you too
Cheers
Bye
Catch up with you soon
Keep in touch
Say “hi” to John for me, will you?

4. Leaving:
I’m off
I’d better be off
I’ve got to go
I’m going to chip/trap/scoot
I’m going to make like a tree, and ‘leaf’/’leave’
I’m going to make like a banana, and ‘split’
Have a good evening
-you too
See you tomorrow
-see ya
Take care
-you too
Have a good weekend
-you too! bye!

5. Other things:
Sorry
-that’s alright
PLEASE
THANK YOU
-you’re welcome
-that’s okay
Could you open to the window for me please?
-sure
-yes
-certainly
You couldn’t open the window for me by any chance, could you?
-sure
-certainly
-yes
Have you got the time?
You don’t happen to have the time by any chance do you?
-yes, it’s 4.30
-yes, it’s just gone ten past
Would you like something to drink?
-yes please
-no thanks
-No, I’m fine thanks
-No, you’re alright
Can I help you (at all)?
-no I’m just looking thanks
Do you mind if I smoke?
-No, go ahead!
-Yes, I do mind actually. This is a no-smoking area.
Let’s get started shall we?
-yes, okay
-good idea
Can I just squeeze past?
exCUSE meE!
Cheers x3
Sorry I’m late
What?
Pardon?
What did you say?
Sorry, what was that?
Bless you
-thanks
Oh come ON!
I need the toilet
I think I’m going to throw up
Put the money in the bag!
Hands up
Follow that car
step on it!
Get down!
Get out of there!
It’s gonna blow!
It’s showtime!
We’ve got company!
I’ll be back
off you go
You’ve gotta be kidding me!
For Christ’s sake John!
Get out of here!
How YOU doin?
What’s the matter with you?
Gimme a break god damn it!

6. Good night:
Right, I’m off to bed
Right, I’m going to hit the sack
Good night
Sleep well
-you too
Sweet dreams
Mind the bed bugs don’t bite

Morning
Afternoon
Evening

That’s it. Now watch these funny videos of Hollywood cliches such as “IT’S SHOWTIME!” and “GET OUT OF THERE!”
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUapZhcsdx8&w=560&h=315]
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W_szJ6M-kM&w=560&h=315]
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdbYsoEasio&w=420&h=315]

78. Christmas – It’s all about Family (with James)

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This episode is all about Christmas. Learn plenty of general English vocabulary and culture.
You will find some vocabulary and definitions below.

Small Donate ButtonRight-click here to download.

In this episode I talk to my brother (James) about Christmas, and plenty of other things too!

*Caution – this episode contains some rude language and swearing :)*

This is a natural conversation between my brother and me. We talk mainly about Christmas and what it means to us as Londoners in England, UK. We also talk about other things as we naturally get sidetracked during the conversation.
The intention of the conversation is to explain what Christmas really means to us. Some of the things we say are intended to be humourous, which means sometimes we use irony, but most of the time we are being serious.
It might be difficult for you to follow everything we say, but we explain many things while talking. I have made a list of vocabulary and expressions that we use in the conversation. You will find this list of vocabulary and definitions below. Many of the definitions come from this website: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/, and some of the definitions are written by me.

I recommend that you check the vocabulary and expressions in your own dictionary too, and look for examples of the expressions online by googling them. Listen to this podcast several times to really catch all the expressions and to listen to them being used in the natural context of our conversation. Then try to use the expressions yourself, in your own conversations or just while practising English alone.

TRANSCRIPT
Vocabulary is defined below the transcript.

[0:00]
L – Luke
J – James

L: Hello and welcome to this Christmas episode of Luke’s English Podcast. Now, today I’m joined once again by my brother James. Hello James.
J: Hello.
L: And today we’re going to tell you all about what a typical Christmas is for most people in the UK. The UK?
J: Well, yes. I suppose we are specifically Southern England. You know, there are slightly different traditions around the UK such as Scotland may do things slightly differently up north of England things. So, I suppose, we can only really claim to represent Southern England.
L: Or like London. To be honest really, I think, we can only talk for ourselves. So mainly what we’re going to do in this episode is just tell you about what Christmas really means to us.
J: But I suppose it is fairly typical of English and British people.
L: That’s true, that’s absolutely right. So, we’re going to tell you about a typical Christmas for us, here in London, in England, in Britain, in the UK, in Europe, in the world etc. Right? And also we’re going to teach you, along the way… we are going to teach you bits of vocabulary and expressions that relate to Christmas and New Year and all the things and celebrations and various aspects of Christmas. Okay? So, cultural stuff and a bit of vocab in the process.
J: Okay.
L: Yeah. So, how are you doing?
J: I’m okay. I’ve got a bit of a cold, but I’m fine.
(sound of phone ringing)
L: Oh, the flimmin [this is not a word] phone , I bet that’s a cold caller.
(sound of phone ringing)
J: Luke’s just gone to answer the phone. This is sometimes a common thing.
L: (answering the phone ) Hello, Luke’s English Podcast.
(after a while)
L: No.
(sound of hanging up the phone)
J: Yes, very common thing. People get hold of your phone number through the telephone directory and they phone you up trying to sell you stuff or sometimes is just a robotic voice trying to sell you something. Very annoying and very little you can do about it.
L: That was a robot voice then it said: “Hello, this is an important recorded message for Luke Thompson.” And so immediately I knew it was a cold caller. Right?
J: It’s borderline illegal although…
L: It’s very annoying.
J: It’s very annoying. It’s well into the annoying category. Yeah.
L: We call them “cold calling”, because it’s a way for companies to just call someone without any warning…
J: Without any previous interactions, so as sort of a warm contact would be if they already answered a question essay and they wish to receive more information, but in this instance he hadn’t been asked. So that’s why it’s a “cold call”.
L: Because they’re just calling you without any previous contact at all. Cold call, which is ironic, because when the phone rang, you were just telling everyone that you had a cold.
J: Different meaning of cold. Cold is just, well I guess it’s the same around the world, a mild flu.
L: Yeah. It’s like a virus that goes round. And everyone kind of catches it. Because people always say: “Oh yeah, there is a cold going round”, you know. “It goes round” that means that, you know, it passes from person to person.
J: Especially in a place like London, where we have very tight concentration of people on public transport and cold and minor diseases, that sounds disgusting, but sorry it’s true…
L: Minor diseases.
J: Minor diseases can spread quite easily through the handrails and the shared air that you got on the ground.
L: Yeah, it’s right.
J: It’s common thing in London to get cold quite a lot.
L: Basically the London underground is just…
J: …a breeding ground for disease and infection.
L: A breeding ground for disease and infection. So that’s true.
J: There you go. Some people say this podcast is too positive. So, there you go. We’re given you a negative there.
L: My brother believes that sometimes in this podcast I just… I’m just too positive about things. I don’t agree, I think, you haven’t really listened to many of the episodes.
J: No, I’ve hardly listened to any of them, to be honest.
L: You haven’t really listened to the episode that you’re in.
J: No, I haven’t, I was too embarrassing.
L: And I did say “you’re in”, I didn’t say “urine” there.
J: Good.
L: We don’t ever mention urine on the show…
J: …in this house.
L: …until now.
J: Let’s get to the point.
L: Can I just explain what happened there? Sometimes in English words can sound like other words. Right? Like if you say the word “you’re” meaning “you are” and “in”, “you are in” it can sound a bit like the word “urine”. Right? “You’re in”, “urine”.
J: It’s not a very good joke, but some examples of this work better than others.
L: I don’t think that’s really a joke, it’s more just a coincidence.
J: It’s a double meaning.
L: Urine/You’re in.
J: So you could for instance… I don’t know if should say this, if I were to offer you a coffee

[5:00]
L: Go on.
J: I could say: “You’re for coffee?”.
L: Like “You’re for coffee?” as a question like “You’re for coffee?”, but also sounds like a rude word.
J: It sounds a little bit like a…
L: “You’re for coffee?”, “You fuck off-y?”.
J: Okay, okay. I think they get it. Sorry about that.
L: Anyway, so you haven’t really even listened to the episodes that you’re in, have you? Don’t tell me to fuck off at this point.
(laugh)
J: Enough swearing. I think we should delete that bit.
L: Let’s get down to business and talk about Christmas, shall we? But we’re both… before we do that, we both suffering from ever so slight colds.
J: That’s why we sound sort of slightly bunged up. There is a phrase for you.
L: Bunged up. I’ll write this down. I must write down…
J: So write down call cold, bunged up.
L: Urine.
J: No, not that one.
L: I should write it down. Call cold, bunged up.
J: Bunged up, that’s just means blocked up nose.
L: You’re for coffee.
J: We’re not going to do that one.
L: I don’t know, I might write it down anyway. Urine. You’re in.
J: Things not to say in a business meeting for instance. You don’t lean over to the managing director and say “You fuck off-y?”. That would be a social faux pas, which is French.
L: A faux pas. That is. Faux pas is a French word.
J: And some English phrases are just literally a French phrase which we quite like a sound of. It’s been picked up over the years and accepted as English phrases, for instance: cliche, faux pas.
L: Yeah, a cul-de-sac.
J: Yeah.
L: It’s true.
J: Cul-de-sac…
L: Wait, wait, wait. What is first of all… What is a faux pas? What is a cliche? And what is a cul-de-sac? What’s a faux pas? Well it’s a French word.
J: Fake. “Faux” means “fake”, doesn’t it?
L: Maybe. I don’t know what the original…
J: I don’t know what the literal thing means, we’re very embarrassing. If you know, write in the comment underneath.
L: I’m sure. I’ve got lots of listeners who speak French, who can tell us exactly what “faux pas” means in French, but in English…
J: It’s just means a minor mistake.
L: It’s a social mistake.
J: A social mistake, yeah.
L: So for example, if you go to a business meeting and you…
J: …are wearing trainers.
L: …and you’re wearing sport shoes, trainers, sneakers, pumps, that kind of thing, to a business meeting, where you should be dressed in formal way. That would be a faux pas, like a social mistake. Okay. Next one was a cliche, another French word.
J: It’s because that we don’t have a literal translation for that in English, so we use the French, which means a cliche. A kind of… it’s very hard to explain.
L: Welcome to my job.
J: It’s very hard to explain without using the French.
L: I think the cliche is something which has happened many, many, many times and to the point which it’s now become really sort of predictable and not even necessarily true.
J: Slightly embarrassingly obvious, maybe.
L: Obvious, predictable. It’s been repeated many times.
J: So for instance a cliche would be an English bloke swigging lager with an England top on watching the football.
L: So that’s a cultural cliche.
J: A cultural cliche.
L: Which is very similar to a stereotype.
J: It is, that’s the word I was looking for. It’s similar to a stereotype, but it doesn’t just have to fit a person. It could fit a style or…
L: Usually stereotypes describe a type of person, don’t they? Like the German stereotype, the American stereotype, French stereotype.
J: And all the best stereotypes have an element of truth in them as well, obviously.
L: Like the English stereotype. There’s two English stereotypes for me. One is that we are very posh, stuck up, kind of gentlemen…
J: Drinking tea, wearing bowler hats.
L: And being very posh and going “Oh, my dear… my good man…” that kind of thing, which you know the Americans love that kind of English stereotype. But the other stereotype is…
J: It’s a football hooligan. Somebody goes (sound of hooligans).
L: Right? I think actually most English people have both.
J: A bit of both.
L: Yeah. They can be very reserved and polite and “Oh sorry”, but on the other hand they can… if they have a few drinks…
J: They can be quite ignorant and stupid.
L: They become ignorant and stupid.
J: And I include myself in that, unfortunately.
L: I think, you’re more hooligan than gentleman. I am maybe more gentleman than hooligan, but it depends…
J: So you like to think.
L: I don’t know, I don’t know if it’s true. It depends. Sometimes you’re more gentlemanly than I am and sometimes…
J: I don’t watch football, I want to point that out, I don’t follow a team. I never drink lager.
L: How many time have you had a fight in your life? Physical, a physical fight.
J: A few, but they were really asking for it.

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63. German and British Cultural Identity – Paco Erhard interview part 2

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This is the continuation of my interview with the German comedian Paco Erhard in which we talk about British and German cultural identity.

Right-click here to download this episode.
Visit Paco’s website here: www.germancomedy.com/www.pacoerhard.com

Paco is a great comedian who is doing very interesting work related to cross-cultural understanding. Do check out his show if you get the chance!

Here are the details of Paco’s Brighton and Edinburgh shows which you must check out!

Brighton Fringe Festival:

9.05., 10.05., 11.05., 16.05., 18.05.2011 – 7.45pm – The Hobgoblin

Edinburgh Fringe Festival:

05.08. – 28.08.2011 – 6pm – Three Sisters / Gothic Room

If you have any questions, please feel free to email me: luketeacher@hotmail.com

Cheers!

Luke

55. Mini Podcasts Collection 1

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My first 7 mini podcasts in one full length episode. Idioms with ‘about’, politics, how to make a perfect cup of tea, a comedy song about badgers and some sentence stress and intonation practice.

Right-click here to download this episode.
Mini-Podcasts – Overview
There are 7 mini podcasts in this episode:

1. Introduction (losing my voice)
I talk about the new mini mobile podcasts and what to expect in the future.

2. Idioms with ‘about’
I teach you some common idioms and expressions using the word ‘about’

3. Government Cuts
At the moment in the UK the government is making large cuts to public spending. What will be the effect of those cuts on the funding of BBC Learning English? Are we going to lose BBC Learning English? This is an example of how we are living in an increasingly connected society where economic conditions in one country immediately effect people in other countries.

4. How to make the perfect cup of tea
I talk to my colleague Richard McNeff about making the perfect cup of tea. Listen closely for language for ‘how to describe a process’ – which is exactly the kind of thing you need to do in an IELTS writing exam.

5. Computer Games
Are games an art form like movies and television? What about the characters, the stories and the graphics?

6. New Guitar
I’ve got a new guitar and I’d like to play you a song. It’s a comedy song – remember that – it is supposed to be funny! So, look for the jokes in the lyrics of the song. The lyrics are printed below:

Bill Bailey – Hats Off To The Zebras (Tribute to Brian Adams)

The horse is a noble beast
From the mustangs of the west
To the stallions of the east
But the horse has a distant cousin
It lives I-do-not-know-where
But it’s message of racial harmony is one that we all can share

Hats off to the zebras
They are black and white
But they don’t fight
‘Cos they’re not very good at it

In a world of confusion
We all need a sign
If only we could live side by side
Like the stripes down a zebras spine

Hats of to the zebras, yeah

The humble badger
Takes a sip of morning dew
He’s totally colourblind
So he can’t judge you

But the badger is a dreamer
The badger has a plan
He knows that his destiny
Is to help his fellow man

Hats off to the badger
He is black and white
But he doesn’t fight
Except for mating rights and territory

Black man and a white man
Both they need to shave
United by the badger brush
He’s helping from beyond the grave

Hats off to the badger
What about the tapeer
Half zebra half pig
Imagine the stig-ma
But the tapeer stands proud
Hats off to the tapeer

Badgers and zebras
Skunks, oh yeah
Little ring-tailed leemurs
Living together in harmony

And if the killer whales can do it, why can’t we?
Tell me why can’t we?

It’s a song about how we can use the examples of black and white animals to learn to live together in racial harmony.

For the the funniest lines are “because they’re not very good at it…” and “except for mating rights and territory”

7. Sentence Stress / Intonation / Get Candy!
In this one I demonstrate the importance of sentence stress and intonation in emphatic speech. Listen to the same text read twice. First time I read with flat intonation. It sounds dull and meaningless. Second time I add emphasis, stress and intonation – it sounds more passionate and meaningful.

Here’s the text below. You should practise listening to it, marking where I pause and emphasize. Then say the text and try to copy the way I do it. Listen to the previous podcast about halloween to head a real comedian reading the text.

So the first time you hear the concept of halloween, when you’re a kid. Do you remember the first time you even heard about it? It’s like, your brain can’t even… “what is this? who’s giving out candy? Someone’s giving out candy? who is giving out this candy? Everyone we know is just giving out candy?? I gotta be a part of this, take me with you, I want to do it, I’ll do anything that they want! I can wear that. I’ll wear anything I have to wear. I’ll do anything I have to do. I will get the candy from these fools, that are so stupidly giving it away!”