Talking with Rob from The Business English Podcast about networking in English. 🗣️ Networking is when you speak to other people, probably in a professional context, in order to build relationships, expand your social circle and make work contacts that can lead to business opportunities in the future. This is all about socialising, speaking spontaneously, active listening and being aware of cultural factors which can affect everything. Listen to the episode to hear plenty of comments, anecdotes, advice and language tips relating to networking in English in a professional context.
Hang out with me while the rain pours down outside 🌧️ and in this episode I’ll talk about the problem of “faffing around” 😵💫 , podcast news & updates 📲, some stand-up comedy dates 🎤, comments on recent episodes 💬, some common questions from listeners 🙋, a lot of rambling about how I learned to play music 🎵, a tour of all the guitars in my podcast room 🎸 and a song at the end 🎶, with lyrics explained 👨🏫.
A conversation with my brother about one of the most successful British bands of all time – Madness. We talk about the story of the band, our early memories of their music, the songs, the members, their lyrics, their popularity and why we’ve always been big fans!
A spontaneous monologue about being taken by surprise by public holidays in May (in France), a podcast recommendation, and seeing a hard-rocking and hilarious band perform live in a big arena last week. Includes a song at the end as a tribute.
Here’s a list of jokes about different countries which I found on the website Bored Panda. I’ll tell you the jokes and then explain them all (dissecting the frog), including any homophones, double meanings or specific cultural references. Can you “get” the jokes? Do you find any of them funny, or are they all just terrible dad jokes? And, what vocabulary can you learn in the process? Includes a vocabulary review at the end of the episode.
In this episode we’re going to read some jokes about different countries in the world, and I’m going to use them to help you learn English.
They’re not really jokes about countries. They’re mainly just jokes based on the country names. So I won’t be making fun of specific countries or anything.
I’ve found a list of 100 jokes.
Jokes like these…
👍
#12
Which country’s capital city is growing the fastest?
Ireland.
Because every day it’s Dublin.
doubling??
Some of these jokes are very stupid.
Some of them are terrible.
But some of them are actually pretty funny 😅
This is all just a bit of fun, but also it’s a chance to learn some vocabulary.
Before we continue, I need to make several jokes about my country: The UK
A map of the UK
It’s just there, under that huge rain storm.
More specifically, England
Football
What do you call an English man in the World Cup final?
The referee.
British Food
Well, this is how our biscuits are sold in France
C’est Anglais, mais c’est bon !
Translation:
It’s English, but it’s good.
*Actually they’re Scottish
*Actually the company is owned by a Turkish confectionery conglomerate
And I’m sure you could write plenty of jokes about our Royal Family…
But you don’t really need to
Subtext: They’re already quite funny aren’t they?
I don’t mean to be rude about our king, but apparently he has a sense of humour, so I’m sure he doesn’t mind.
cheers
Can you understand these jokes?
If you understand a joke you can say
“I get it”
If you don’t understand why it’s supposed to be funny, you’d say
“I don’t get it”
If you understand it, but you think it isn’t funny, you can just groan.
🤦
There will be VOCABULARY
I will explain every joke that you hear in this episode, including
any double meanings
any homophones (words which sound the same but which are different)
or any other little cultural details
I have only had
a very quick look
at this list of jokes.
I found this joke list on the website BoredPanda.com. There are 100 jokes in the list, but I’ve only seen about the first 15 jokes.
I haven’t seen the rest.
So I am going to be reading most of these for the first time, so let’s discover these jokes together.
Disclaimer:
This might not be funny
at all 😐
It’s necessary to say this again…
I will dissect these jokes. You might learn some English,
but the jokes will probably die in the process.
Sorry jokes, and sorry frogs.
🐸
But don’t worry. No actual frogs will be harmed during the making of this episode.
And when I say “frogs” I’m not talking about French people 🇫🇷
“Dissecting the frog” or explaining jokes is something I’ve been doing on this podcast for years.
by a listener called Evgenia
a T-shirt design by a listener called Adel (available in my merch store
England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies, “I didn’t think you needed one to get into Australia anymore.”
One day Canada will rule the world… Then you’ll all be sorry.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Why do the French eat snails? They don’t like fast food.
Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France. Just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
I asked my friend in North Korea how he was. He said he can’t complain.
Germany and France go to war. Who loses? Belgium.
What do you call a vegan Viking? A Norvegan!
How do you get a Canadian to apologize? Step on their foot.
Which country’s capital is growing the fastest? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
What does the Loch Ness monster eat? Fish and ships.
Want to hear a Swedish joke? Never mind. There’s Norway I could Finnish it.
What do frogs eat in Paris? French flies.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman enter a bar. The Englishmen wanted to go, so they all had to leave.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
Why haven’t Americans changed their weighing method from pounds to kilograms? Because they don’t want mass confusion!
How does every Russian joke start? By looking over your shoulder.
I have a Russian friend who’s a sound technician. And a Czech one too. A Czech one too.
What kind of birds can you find in Portugal? Portugeese.
What was the most popular kids’ movie in Ancient Greece? Troy Story.
What is the most common scam in Egypt? Pyramid schemes.
What happened to the American who went to the hospital with a broken leg? He went broke.
In which country is Prague located? Hold on let me Czech.
Is “Africa” by Toto a country song? No, it’s a continent song.
What did the Kiwi say to the Rabbi? Hee Broo.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
Germany once organized the International Fun Conference. It wasn’t funny but it was indeed well organized.
Two very old men of European nationality meet While talking, one asks: “You watching the football game?” The other says: “Who’s playing?” “Austria-Hungary”, says the first. “Against whom?”
An introverted Finn looks at his shoes when talking to you; an extroverted Finn looks at your shoes.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play? To get away from the noise.
Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them? So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!
How was copper wire invented? Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.
What are Greek houses made out of? Greeks and con-Crete!
Why is it hard to make friends in Antarctica? Because you can’t break the ice.
What pan is the best to make sushi in? Japan.
What will an Australian chess player say to a Czech person while making the winning move? Czech mate.
A friend in Germany tells me everyone’s panic buying sausages and cheese. It’s the Wurst Käse scenario.
What do you call a bunch of bullies from Malta? Maltesers.
Ever since my girlfriend moved to Siberia things haven’t been the same. She’s so cold and distant.
The Sahara Desert drifts into a bar and the bartender says… “Long time no sea.”
Did you hear about the Pole who thought his wife was trying to kill him? On her dressing table, he found a bottle of “Polish Remover.”
I’ve heard that Argentina is starting to get a little colder… In fact, it’s bordering on Chile.
What’s Santa’s nationality? North Polish.
What genre are national anthems? Country.
Did you hear McDonalds will stop serving fries in Switzerland? The Swiss don’t take sides.
Vocabulary List (listen to the episode for my explanations)
Barbara Serra is an award-winning Italian journalist who has spent much of her career reading the news in the UK on various high-profile well-established English language news networks including the BBC, Channel 5, Al Jazeera English and Sky News. Barbara has quite a specific relationship with the English language. We talk about learning English, challenges in her career, and the relationship between accent and identity.
Hello listeners, today on the podcast I am talking to Barbara Serra, the Italian journalist who reads the news on television in the UK. She’s a very interesting guest and has lots of interesting things to say about the way her identity and career have been shaped by her relationship to the English language.
We’re going to talk about reading the news in the UK when you sound like a foreigner, lots of questions around identity and accent, and all sorts of other things that Barbara has experienced in her time as a broadcast journalist. I think you will find it very interesting as a learner of English looking to improve your English as much as possible in different contexts, both personal and professional.
LEPster meet-up in Da Nang Vietnam
Gordon’s Pizza (in An Thuong area) on Friday 17th May from 9pm.
Send Zdenek an email if you’re interested – teacherzdenek@gmail.com
Barbara Serra is an award-winning Italian journalist who has spent much of her career reading the news in the UK on various high-profile well-established English language news networks including the BBC, Channel 5, Al Jazeera English and Sky News.
Barbara has quite a specific relationship with English. It’s her dominant language but not her native language. She has a certain accent, which does place her outside the UK somehow. So how has this affected her career as a news reader and reporter?
Broadcast journalism is associated with a certain model of spoken English – in the UK that would be what is often called BBC English, and traditionally the role of newsreader has been synonymous with that kind of high-level, high-status form of spoken English.
So what has Barbara’s experience been?
What is the story of her English?
How did she get the point where she was ready to do this job? What kind of challenges has she faced while reading the news in the UK?
And what does this all tell us about learning English, what it means to improve your accent, the relationship between accent and identity, the definition of “native” and “non-native speaker”, the status of different English accents in the English speaking world?
Let’s get into it.
LINKS
👉 Barbara’s email newsletter “News with a foreign accent” https://barbaraserra.substack.com/
👉 Barbara’s website with course info https://www.barbaraserra.info/
I read an article about Paris’ preparations for the 2024 Olympic Games 🏊, discuss the issues, summarise the article and explain plenty of vocabulary. Is Paris ready for the games? What are the attitudes, complaints, expectations and fears ahead of this potentially controversial event.
The build-up to this summer’s Games is being ‘marred’ by rows over national identity, security and pollution
The lighting of the Olympic torch today comes amid a “dampening” of enthusiasm for the Paris Games in an increasingly “fractious” France, commentators warn.
Light – lit – lit To light something To light something up
Lighting Lightening (lighten) Lightning ⚡
“We’re ready for this final straight,” said Paris Olympics chief organiser Tony Estanguet
to mark the 100-daycountdown
With the clock tickingdown until the Games kick off on 26 July
France’s “bitter politics and gloomy mindset are dampening the mood” among a “fractious” public, said The Japan Times.
The build-up has been “marred by rows” that go to “the heart of a bitter national debate about identity and race”.
Herve Le Bras, a sociologist, told the paper that the Games threaten to “underline the major fractures in France – notably the fracture between Paris and the rest of the country”.
An Odoxa poll of more than 1,200 Paris region residents last November found that 44% thought the Games were a “bad thing”, and that 52% were planning to leave the city during the 16-day event.
One Parisian told the BBC that staying would be “unbearable“, with the Games making it “impossible to park, impossible to move around, impossible to do anything”.
Security fears are also growing amid mounting global tensions.
In a break from the tradition of opening the Games in the main stadium, the organisers have devised a “grandiose” ceremony centred around a parade of barges on the River Seine, said Le Monde.
The original plan was for as many as 600,000 spectators to watch from the riverbanks, but security and logistical concerns have led the government to “progressively scale back” the plan, with the spectator numbers reduced to 300,000.
And President Emmanuel Macron said yesterday that the ceremony might be moved to a new location if the authorities decide that the risk of an attack, potentially by drones, is too great.
“There are Plan Bs and Plan Cs”, including holding the opening at the city’s Stade de France, he told television interviewers. Asked if the Kremlin would seek to disrupt the Olympics, Macron said that he had “no doubt“.
Another potential threat is sewage pollution in the Seine, where swimming events are due to take place.
Bacteria, including “pollution of faecal origin”, remains dangerously high in the river.
Games boss Estanguet said last week that if water quality levels worsen, “there could be a final decision where we could not swim”.
The Switzerland-based International Olympic Committee has “mountains of scepticism to dispel” in France and beyond, said The Associated Press.
The $13 billion cost of the 2021 Tokyo Games and the “unfulfilled promises of beneficial change” for 2016 host Rio de Janeiro triggeredwidespread anger, and the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi were “tarnished by Russian doping“.
But some previous predictions of Olympics doom have proved incorrect.
In the run-up to the London 2012 Games, the Army was drafted in to bolster the security presence provided by private firm G4S, amid fears of a repeat of the riots that had broken out in the city in 2011.
Journalists emit “cyclical loud buzzingnoises before every set of Summer Games”, said George Vecsey in The New York Times in 2004.
Reporters will “continue to fret on schedule”, because it’s “in our job description“.
Estanguet acknowledged last week that “before this kind of big event, there are always many questions, many concerns“. But the Paris edition would make his nation “proud”, he said.
Top tips for spontaneous speaking 🏆 with communication expert Matt Abrahams, a professor at the Stamford Graduate School of Business, California. Matt is a leading expert in his field and his latest book “Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You’re Put on the Spot” gives you clear, academically-researched advice on how to deal with anxiety, focus on making connections, improve your mindset, learn to listen, and find really useful structures to help you become a more spontaneous and successful speaker.
These days Elena Mutonono is an experienced business coach who helps online English teachers to gain independence and control over their own careers, but Elena’s journey started as a learner of English herself. In this conversation I ask Elena about how she learned English, making the step to becoming an English teacher, then teacher trainer and what challenges online English teachers face when trying to work in a crowded and demanding job market.
This conversation is a preview of my Zoom workshop on Thurs 18 April 2024 at 10AM (UK time), as part of the Advanced English Summit. In my workshop I will be talking about how to really learn vocabulary, and not just stare at word lists. This is a conversation about the subject of the workshop, and summit organiser Clare Whitmell asks me questions about why vocabulary is important, why I love teaching it, common mistakes made by learners, ways of learning vocabulary more effectively, and some tools you can use.
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