Monthly Archives: April 2016

344. A Totally Terrific Talk on the Terrace with The Tangential Trio (feat. Tom Morton)

What? Another new episode? Slow down Luke! We can’t keep up! OK I will slow down, I promise. I am going away on holiday tomorrow and I will be quiet for a couple of weeks so I just wanted to upload another podcast before I go. While I’m away you’ll have a chance to catch up with all these new episodes. This is #344 and it’s another rambling conversation with podPALS Amber & Paul, but this time we’re joined by a fourth member of the team. Could this be The Fantastic Four that LEPster Olga mentioned in a recent comment? Only you can decide… Topics of conversation include: jingles, voice overs, the Queen’s birthday, the monarchy, Princess Diana and more…

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Introduction

I’m not going to spend much time on an introduction to this episode (yeah, right) except to say that in this episode you’re going to hear another a fast conversation between 4 native speakers, recorded for you to listen to.

You’ll hear the pod-pals – that’s Amber, Paul  & me (The Thrilling Three or the Tangential Trio) having our weekly chat on the terrace in the sunshine. But this time we are joined by a 4th member to our team in the form of Tom Morton, a friend of ours from the stand-up comedy scene here in Paris. You might remember that Tom has been mentioned briefly on this podcast before and that we’ve established that he looks a bit like Dave Grohl the drummer from Nirvana and Tim Curry the actor from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and… that’s it! That’s all you know at the moment!

Tom

So, just to fill you in a bit – Tom is a professional actor and voice-over artist. He’s done voice-overs for TV and radio advertisements for companies like Mini, L’Oreal, Sky TV, McVities biscuits and Nintendo Wii. He’s is half English and half French and speaks both English and French like a native. “What’s Tom’s accent?”, you might be wondering. Well you’ll find out for yourself in a bit when you listen to him, but in English he speaks with received pronunciation, which is essentially that neutral accent that we associate with the BBC and the universities – no particular regional inflections although he spent lots of time in West London when he was growing up. So, he speaks a bit like me basically, but he has his own unique sound of course, as you will discover in a moment. As ever I am keen to know what you think. What do you think of Tom’s voice? Leave your comments on the website.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode

First you’ll hear the three of us give Tom a sort of job interview as part of his initiation onto the podcast. After a couple of minutes though, the job interview goes downhill and is abandoned. We then just mess around, letting you get to know Tom a bit, doing improvised voice-overs on a few royalty-free Apple jingles, before the conversation goes off on a number of tangents (what a surprise). And those tangents cover these things:

  • the complexities of explaining puns and jokes in English
  • doing voiceovers on adverts for the ‘megaknife’ – a knife that is so sharp it can cut through a shoe
  • the Queen’s birthday
  • what British people think of the monarchy
  • the death of Princess Diana
  • public reactions to tragedies like when a famous person dies (this was recorded just a few hours before we all learned that another celebrity had died – the American musician Prince – just another legend who died this year after Lemmy, David Bowie, George Martin and a bunch of other people including British celebrities Terry Wogan, Paul Daniels, Ronnie Corbett and Victoria Wood – you might not know who they are but they were all much loved comedians and entertainers who died this year) So – public reactions to the death of famous people
  • when old people say racist things, like Prince Philip or your grandparents
  • Amber’s son Hugo has learning a new word
  • getting a letter from the Queen on your 100th birthday
  • the drama of Paul and Luke getting attacked by flying insects (ladybirds)
  • Amber’s story about a woman she saw whose scarf had slipped between her bum cheeks making it look like she had a tail
  • the moment one of my neighbours burps very loudly in the background from another apartment (I’m pretty sure you can’t hear it)
  • then finally, which members of The Fantastic Four we would be – I’m Mr Fantastic (because I’m the leader I suppose), Amber is the invisible woman (because since she had a baby she’s become invisible to men), Paul is The Human Torch (because he’s on fire sitting in the sun, and because he’s so hot right now in the world of comedy), and Tom is The Thing (neither French nor English, just an amorphous blob).

It’s a real mix of both serious and light-hearted topics, and yes, I am aware that the conversation moves pretty fast and we talk over each other quite a lot – that’s just what happens when a bunch of friends get together like this. It might be a difficult episode to follow – or maybe not – maybe you’ll have absolutely no problem keeping up with this, but in any case I hope you just enjoy listening to another completely spontaneous conversation between a group of Brits who are getting a bit too much sun on their heads.

You should know that there’s some swearing in this episode – there you go, you’ve been warned.

Also, we’re not talking about the results of the interactive lying game from episode 343 yet – that’s going to come in an another episode soon.

So that’s enough introduction. I will now just let you listen to another outdoor episode of LEP featuring the The Talkative Trio with Tom Morton.


LEP JINGLE MASHUP 1

*Conversation begins*

LEP JINGLE MASHUP 2


That’s it! Check out the page for the episode. There are a few notes and a brief summary of some of the main points in that conversation, so if you didn’t understand something you can just google it or wikipedia it!

Just a reminder about italki before I say anything else. With italki you can have your own rambling conversations with native English speakers if you like, or if you prefer you can have properly structured English lessons too, and all from the convenience of your own internet connection at home, or anywhere else really. They have loads of qualified teachers to choose from, and when you buy some lessons italki will give you a voucher worth 100ITC which is a nice discount on future English lessons. To get that offer and to check out italki go to teacherluke.co.uk/talk or click an italki logo on my website.

001APVAD1400I’m going to be on holiday for about a week and then I’ll be very busy marking student exam papers so I don’t know when I’ll be able to upload a new episode. But I’m sure it won’t be that long, and anyway I’ve given you so many new episodes lately you could probably do with a little break too – or maybe not! Maybe you’re desperate for more. Don’t forget to check out my other podcast – A Phrasal Verb a Day. There are now over 130 episodes of that. The episodes are much shorter and I get straight to the point in every single episode and just focus on teaching you a new phrasal verb every time – and you shouldn’t underestimate the importance of phrasal verbs in English. They’re a vital part of fluent, natural English. So check out teacherluke.co.uk/pv for the episode archive – some of them have videos too.

Right – enough rambling! I’m off! I’ve got lots of exam marking to do! Have a nice day or night or morning or whatever and I’ll speak to you soon. Cheers! BYE!

344
Photos (clockwise – left to right) Princess Diana, a ladybird, Fantastic Four logo, The Queen, Tim Curry, Dave Grohl, LEP logo.

343. The Interactive Lying Game (with Amber & Paul) / Descriptive Adjectives with T / Three is a Magic Number

In this episode I’m joined by podcast pals Amber & Paul and we’re playing the Lying Game again, but this is a special version because this is The Interactive Lying Game. I know it’s exciting. Try to control yourself. Details below.

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WHAT DO YOU THINK? Click the box below to jump to the polls and cast your votes.

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Just in case you don’t know what the lying game is (and that’s the lying game not the lion game), let me bring you up to speed.

So, where shall I start? Well, this is the universe, ok? In that universe there’s a tiny little galaxy, and in that tiny galaxy there’s an even tinier solar system with this little sun, and spinning around it there are some little bits of dust called planets. We’re on one of them. It’s called earth. Ok, got it? On earth there’s this thing called the internet, and that’s basically used for watching cat videos, sharing selfies, and listening to this podcast and for security services to spy on people’s internet usage to see exactly which cats are being watched, what is contained in those selfies and what kind of stuff is being talked about on this podcast. That’s pretty much all you need to know I think, regarding context. So there you go, do you feel up to speed now?

Oh yes, the lying game.

The Lying Game is a speaking game which I play in my English classes sometimes, because you know, I’m an English teacher – do I need to explain that too? No? OK, I’ll just get on with it. So, I also play the lying game on the podcast sometimes when I’m joined by Amber & Paul.

Here are the rules of the game

1. Someone makes a statement about themselves – it can be anything really, but usually it’s a statement about something they did in the past. The statement can either be true or a lie.
2. The other competitors then have to decide if they think it’s true or a lie, but before doing that they ask loads of questions in order to investigate the statement. The speaker has to respond.
3. The aim for the other competitors is to work out if the statement is true or not. The aim for the speaker is to try and fool the others.
4. After loads of questions have been asked, the competitors say if they think the statement is true or a lie, and justify their decisions.
5. The speaker then reveals if it’s true or not. Everyone goes crazy!
6. Any competitors who guess correctly get one point. The speaker gets a point for any wrong answers. So, when three people play, the speaker can get a maximum of 2 points per round, and the competitors can get a maximum of 1 point. Everyone gets a turn at being the speaker.

That might sound unnecessarily complicated but to keep it simple – all you have to do is just listen to the game, and try to guess if we’re lying or telling the truth. You can make your judgements by completing a simple poll on the page for this episode – and no you don’t need to give your email address or anything like that, it’s all open and free :)

The scores so far

To be honest, I can’t really work out the scores so far! The main thing is that I think Amber is the reigning champion so far because she’s probably the cleverest member of the team. I’m in second place because I’m ok at the game but my weakness seems to be that I can’t lie and I’m too gullible and trusting because I always believe that people are telling the truth, so I lose points sometimes because of that. Paul is in 3rd place and he always loses these games because he tries to be too tactical, and he always focuses on using strategies just to prevent Amber from winning, and those strategies always backfire in his face and he ends up coming third almost every time. He should just trust his instincts like a Jedi.

So, let’s see if Paul can finally win a game!

The Interactive Lying Game – The Rules

Here are the rules for this version:
In episode 318 Paul suggested that we do an interactive version of this game in which listeners send in their questions in response to our statements.
So we told you our statements, and then the LEP listeners wrote lots of questions on the page for episode 318.
In this episode we’re going to ask each other those questions.
You have to listen carefully and decide if we are telling the truth or telling lies.
Check out the page for this episode and you’ll find interactive polls where you can choose TRUE or LIE for each person. Please vote for each one.
Then, the next time we get together we’ll count all your votes. The winning person is the one who has fooled the most people.
So, it’s quite simple really – just listen to this episode and then go to the page on the website and vote using the online polls.
Then, later on we’ll reveal the truth, we’ll count the scores, and find out the winner!

THE STATEMENTS AGAIN

So, do you remember the statements from Amber, Paul and me?
Here’s a reminder:

Amber: I helped in the making of the film “Something’s Got To Give”
Luke: I accidentally knocked down a wall in a friend’s house in Japan
Paul: I used to get bullied by Guy Berryman, the bass player from Coldplay

What do you reckon, are they the honest truth or just a tissue of lies? Would you like to find out more? Are you ready to become a kind of psychological detective?

Yes, you are? Right then, without any further ado, let’s find out more as we listen to the podcast pals, aka The Truthful Trio or should that be the Treacherous Three. One thing’s for sure – it’s time for triple trouble, with Amber, Paul and me… Here we go…


*Jingles*
*The Interactive Lying Game Begins*


QUESTIONS FOR AMBER

Antonio
Amber: Who asked you for help? Were you an employee or it was a school exercise?

Mollie
Amber, how did you help in the making of the film ” Somethings Got To Give” ?

Anonymous • 4 months ago
Amber: Why did you help?

Krizzztofer • 3 months ago
Amber: Why aren’t you on the staff list on imdb.com ? (I love you BTW!) :-)
To listeners – please use the Donate button sometimes! Luke really deserves it! He does an incredible job. You don’t need to spend 100 pounds, but think about it – if everyone can give just 1 or 2 pounds…???
It’s not fair to get everything for free. Just think how much money we spend everyday for stupid things like smoking (I mean some of us, I gave up ;-). I If you send just 1pound – you invest in Luke and… in yourself! If you listen to this podcast – you really invest in yourself!

Hiroshi • 3 months ago
Amber:  Is your help reflected in the film? If so, how did you feel when you saw the film?
Do you think you can work as filmmaker?
Do you want to be an actress?

Lê Vũ QC • 4 months ago
To Amber:
1. How did you help? Were you in the movie?
2. Did you get paid? If yes, how much?
3. Could you name some of the members of the cast and tell us what the movie was about?
I hope my questions will get picked :) I enjoy you guys’ conversations tremendously.
QC.

Mariam • 4 months ago
To Amber:How did you get asked to participate in that? When and where was that? How were you chosen? How did you feel about it? What did you do? Can you describe how the filming went or at least the thing you were involved in?
Looking forward to hearing from you :)

Yaron • 4 months ago
The questions for Amber are: How did you help in making this movie (What was your role? did you direct it :) ? )… It is very difficult to ask more questions, since the question are really depend on how this help was given…..  Were you familiar with one the film production members (the script writer / editor /other)?

Mark (@nicknamemark) • 4 months ago
Amber: have you ever got in touch with the executive caster/core actor?

Antonio • 4 months ago
Amber: who asked you for help for this movie?

-e- • 4 months ago
Amber: Your style and your voice are as beautiful as Marilyn’s appearance was… but now I don’t believe you ;)
So, no questions but I have to say, enjoyable episode again! Thanks
-e-


QUESTIONS FOR LUKE

Antonio
Luke: how did you do it?

Mollie
Q1 : Luke , what was your friend’s name ? Is it he or she ? Is he or she Japanese ?

Anonymous • 4 months ago
Luke: What was reaction of your friend when you did it?

Krizzztofer • 3 months ago
First of all – this Lying Game series is a masterpiece!
Luke: How much did you drink? :-) (How much had you drunk?)

Hiroshi • 3 months ago
Luke: I accidentally knocked down a wall
Was that wall made out of paper or something like that? Usually you can’t knock down a wall.
Were you injured?
Were you dancing in the room? How you can knock down a wall? Kicked?

Lê Vũ QC • 4 months ago
To Luke:
1. What kind of house was that? Was it old or new, traditional or modern? Was the wall made of wood or concrete?
2. What was the relationship between you and that friend? Do you guys still keep in touch?
3. How did she/he react?

Mariam • 4 months ago
To Luke: Why were you in your friend’s house? Was it a traditional Japanese house with paper walls? (can you describe the house)? How did that happen? What was your freind’s reaction? Did you pay for the charges of fixing it? I can go on but I think it’s enough ;)

Yaron
This interactive version is a good idea Paul – well done!
Luke: I have no question for you. I’m sure that you are telling the truth :) …. just kidding… my questions to you are: What was the wall was made of (bricks, autoclaved aerated concrete, paper, Other)? How did it happen? Did you do it with bare hands or with some tool (like hammer for example)?

Mark (@nicknamemark) • 4 months ago
Luke: what about your location specifically in Japan? Does your friend’s city have many wooden houses?

Antonio
Luke: How did you put down the wall?

-E-
Luke: I think you are way too well-behaved a guy to knock anything down :) but maybe you did it….
Luke Thompson
Even though I slapped a teacher on the back of the head?
-E-
Yep, good question!
Nowadays students are allowed to do nearly everything as you know but if a teacher slightly touches a student, he or she gets into trouble…
So maybe you Luke are “the roof of all evil ” ! Your slapping has been the example for later generations… ;)
Anyway, Season’s Greetings
-e-
Luke Thompson
“The roof of all evil” I like it!
But it’s the *root of all evil.
I prefer being the roof though.


QUESTIONS FOR PAUL

Hiroshi • 3 months ago
Paul: I used to get bullied by Guy Berryman, the bass player from Coldplay.
You were misunderstanding his name as Guy Bullyman when you were young, right?

Hitoshi • 3 months ago
Paul: I used to get bullied by Guy Berryman, the bass player from Coldplay.
How old were you?
How did he bully you?
Could you manage to stop it?
Do you want to see him now?
What would you say and do if you saw him?

Antonio
Paul, what Job did you have at this time?

Mollie
Q2 : Paul , when did you get bullied by Guy Berryman ?

Anonymous
Paul : Where were you educated? how old were you? Did Guy Berryman know his bandmates at that time?

Krizzztofer • 3 months ago
Paul: How old are you? (it seems you are too young, Guy is 38:) )

Lê Vũ QC • 4 months ago
To Paul:
1. When did that happen and what did you do when that happened?
2. Do you still know Berryman or are you just strangers now?
3. Why did he bully you? Was it because he was just an asshole or something?

Mariam • 4 months ago
To Paul: When and where was that? How old were you (both)? Was he in the band yet around that time? How did he bully you (what did he say or do)? How did you react?

-e-
Paul: Who the hell could have bullied you? .. It definitely can’t be true!

Yaron
The questions for Paul are: What was your age at the time? How many times did he bully you? Where did it happen? Why did he bully you? Can you think why he did it to you?

Mark (@nicknamemark) • 4 months ago
Paul: How old were you when you were bullied? If this happened in school, would you like to give us the school name?

Antonio
Paul: What was your job at this time?

David Beckham’s greasy curtains

Go Greased Lightning!


WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO THE POLL AND ADD YOUR COMMENTS

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AMBER, PAUL & LUKE – THE PODPALS – NICKNAMES & ACRONYMS

Amber, Paul & Luke – We Need an Acronym or Nickname (don’t we?)
It’s always lots of fun when they’re on the podcast and according to comments it looks like you, the listeners, agree. In fact, people seem to feel that Amber, Paul and I form quite a successful podcasting team, so naturally we need a nickname or an acronym for the three of us.

You heard us mention a couple of ideas for acronyms or nicknames in the previous episode, but we didn’t decide on one.

So, I want you the listeners to help me choose a good acronym or nickname for us.

Here are some suggestions:

Acronyms
PAL (pal = friend, mate)
APL (apple?)
PLA! (?)
LPA! (?)

Feel free to create another acronym perhaps featuring the letters of our first names and surnames too.
A for Amber
P for Paul
L for Luke
M for Minogue
T for Taylor
T for Thompson
So, that’s – A P L M T T
Players of Scrabble will notice that there’s just one vowel in there and 5 consonants, two of which are T, which makes it quite hard to form a word – so good luck with that!

Superhero team names, like The Fantastic Four (The + adjective + word for three things)
Here are the ingredients:
Words for “three things”
Three
Trio – a group of three people, like three singers
Triptych – a set of three works of art, like three paintings that go together
Triangle – a geometric shape with three corners and three sides
Tripod – a stand with three legs, e.g. a camera tripod
Tricycle – like a bicycle but with three wheels
Triforce (for Legend of Zelda fans) – The Triforce (トライフォース, Toraifōsu ?) is the golden triangle, made from three other golden triangles arranged together. It comes from Nintendo’s Legend of Zelda series of video games. Referred to as “The Golden Power” in ancient Hyrulian literature, it is an omnipotent sacred relic, representing the essence of the Golden Goddesses who created the realm of Hyrule. The triforce as a symbol also appears in Japanese history as a icon representing an old Japanese family, I think.
Trident – a brand of chewing gum, but also a three-pronged spear carried by Poseidon the god of the sea and also Britannia the female personification of Great Britain. Both Poseidon and Britannia carry tridents. Trident is also the name of the UK’s nuclear weapons system, based in Scotland.
Team – you know what that means.

Adjectives beginning with T (these ones don’t really go with ‘Three’)
Terrific – great, or big, very good
Triumphant – victorious, having won in battle
talkative – talk a lot
Tantalizing – having or exhibiting something that provokes or arouses expectation, interest, or desire, especially that which remains unobtainable or beyond one’s reach
tangential – tending to go off on tangents, the tendency to get diverted (quite appropriate)
tasteful – having good taste
talented – having talent
tactical – having tactics or strategy
tasty – delicious

Adjectives beginning with Tr (these ones go nicely with ‘trio’)
trustworthy – you can trust us
tranquil – peaceful, calm or silent
transcribed – our words have been transcribed perhaps as part of the transcript collaboration
trendsetting – to be one who sets trends or creates trends, the state of being a trendsetter
truthful – honest, telling the truth
trivial – not important
trilateral – involving three sides or groups, like a trilateral trade agreement between three nations, or a trilateral decision
transcendent – higher or better than other things, rising to a new level, perhaps surpassing normal states and into a higher plane
tremendous – a large amount, or very good
tragicomical – both sad and funny at the same time

Adjectives beginning with TH (these ones go nicely with ‘Three’)
thorough – detailed and careful, going through something in great detail and covering it fully and carefully
thoughtful – thinking a lot, particularly about others
therapeutic – bringing therapy
thrilling – exciting
thunderous – very loud, like thunder
thickheaded – stupid

Also
Triple Trouble
The 3 Musketeers
The Podpals
? something else ?

OK, THERE’S NO NICKNAME POLL – Just add your suggestions in the comment section please :)

But here are a few ideas:

Triple Trouble
The Podpals
The t_____________ trio
The t_____________ three
The t_____________ team


Song: Three is a Magic Number by Bob Dorough

Chords & lyrics https://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/b/bob_dorough/three_is_a_magic_number_crd_1761209id_21082015date.htm
343PIC

342. Paul’s “La Bise” Video Success / Audition Story (with Amber & Paul)

In this episode I’m joined by podcast pals Amber & Paul and we talk about Paul’s hit youtube video about French kissing habits, his newfound success as a stand-up (he’s the hottest kid in town), some online abuse he’s had and then an anecdote about an audition that we attended recently, which involved a surprising misunderstanding about accents. There’s also a brief language focus on using relative clauses with ‘which’ to extend your sentences when speaking. Enjoy!

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Image: c/o Robert Hoehn French Fried TV

Transcript for the intro and outro to this episode

Intro

Hello, welcome back to the podcast. This is episode 342. First of all I’d like to say thanks if you’ve recently left comments on my website, written positive reviews on iTunes or especially if you’ve sent a donation to the podcast. I appreciate all of those things very very much indeed and I hope that you feel like you’ve invested in this podcast, even in a small way. Every little helps. So thank you very much.

In this episode I’m joined again by podcast pals Amber and Paul

If you are a brand new listener and you don’t know them then here are the basics: Essentially, they’re both from the south-east of England, I know them from the stand-up comedy scene here in Paris and they both have super-powers, yes that’s right – super-powers.

Amber is a voice-over artist, actress and tour guide. She has a little 2-year-old son called Hugo (who has featured on the podcast before, making dinosaur noises in episode 297), and Amber’s super power is that she has loveliest voice in the world. Her voice is so lovely it could melt the heart of even the toughest person – like anyone at all. Even Vladimir Putin or Batman would be reduced to a little puppy when listening to Amber’s voice, right listeners? If Amber’s voice was on Darth Vader’s iPod and he listened to her talking, he would immediately give up his devotion to the dark side and turn into an ewok or something. That’s Amber.

Paul used to work for Apple – the company, not the fruit. It would be weird if he worked for an Apple. Anyway, last year he took the brave decision to quit his job in order to focus on becoming a full-time stand-up comedian, performing both in English and in French. Paul has a weekly one-man show called #franglais which he performs every week and he also performs a two-man comedy show with me every Thursday, and that one’s called “Sorry, we’re English”. He has his own podcast, called “Becoming a Comedian”, which you can find at paultaylorcomedy.com. Paul’s super-power is his infectious laugh, which causes podcast listeners to randomly split their sides in different countries around the world, which is nice. I imagine if he had to do battle with Darth Vader, he’d just laugh in his face and Vader would turn into Jar-Jar Binks or something.

The conversation you’re going to hear in this episode was recorded the other day when we were sitting upstairs on my little terrace enjoying some sunshine. We recorded about 3 episodes-worth of stuff that day. Two in the sunshine and one indoors because after a few hours it went cloudy and then started raining, which is typical for April in this part of the world. You already heard the first part of that conversation in episode 341.

Click here to check out a list of other episodes featuring Amber & Paul

But in this conversation Amber and I talk to Paul about recent success in his stand-up career, there’s a surprise phone call from Robert Hoehn, we talk about some online abuse Paul’s received, and then Paul and I tell Amber about an audition we had for a TV show recently, which involved a bit of a misunderstanding about our British accents.

One thing I just want to let you know right now is that I’m aware that this conversation is quite quick and you might not get absolutely every single word that we say, but that’s fine because as we know, listening to native speakers at natural speed is a valuable thing for you to do even if it’s difficult to understand every little thing. Just try to fill in the blanks, tolerate the stuff you don’t understand, read between the lines and keep going. Listening several times will help, but the main thing is to relax and just enjoy spending 45 minutes in the sunshine with us.

Where were we?

Where were we in the conversation at the end of the last episode?

There was a bit of a cliffhanger of sorts. Paul was about to tell us what happened in January, and it’s something about his progress as a comedian. Let’s get an update on how it’s all going.

A bit of language analysis – Paul’s long sentence – using ‘which’

In just a moment I’m going to start playing our conversation to you and it’ll carry on from where it ended last time.

The first you’re going to hear is me saying to Paul, “Give us an update on what happened in January” and then you’ll hear Paul speaking pretty quickly, and producing perhaps the longest sentence in the history of humanity. Actually, long sentences with lots of additional clauses are pretty common in spoken English, especially in spontaneous talking. In writing I think it’s best to keep your sentences short and clear but in speaking we often find ways to extend our sentences to include new thoughts and to keep the rhythm going, particularly with words like ‘and’ or ‘but’ (simple ways) but also with relative pronouns, particularly ‘which’, which we add to nouns and even whole clauses in order to extend sentences (like I just did there – did you notice?) Check out the way Paul uses ‘which’ to extend his sentences and add ideas, adding fluency to his speech.

Here’s the first sentence you’ll hear from Paul in this episode:
“Yeah, I think the last time we spoke, I don’t know if we talked about it but I was gearing up for the start of my own show, which was like an hour, my first hour-long solo show, which was starting on January 9th and I was excited (and) nervous because I’d never been on-stage for an hour (and) it was going to be cool, whatever, and then during the month of December, Robert Hoehn, who has been on the podcast previously, he runs an English comedy night and he’s, I guess, seen me do comedy for the last three years and he suggested to me that I make a video out of one of my sketches which I’d been doing on stage, which was around the French, their kissing and saying hello and it’s called La Bise, in France.”

Wow. There are a few examples of ‘which’ in there and also a ‘who’, after he mentions Robert Hoehn, who has been on the podcast previously. Also, there’s the phrase “gearing up for” which means “getting ready for”. OK. Now I’ll let you listen to that sentence in full, spoken by Paul.

One question: How many times does he say “which” and what’s the most common word that comes after it?

*Paul’s long sentence*

Answers:
He says ‘which’ four times and it’s most commonly followed by ‘was’ (3 times) and once it’s followed by ‘had been doing’.

This is often how we add information to stories. I mentioned this language point in the photo competition episode too. That’s episode 327. In Paul’s sentence, “which was” comes after a noun every time, but sometimes it comes after a clause. Question: What is the noun or clause that is followed by ‘which’ in these examples?

“He suggested that I make a video of one of my sketches which I’d been doing on stage which was around the French way of saying hello”.

Answer: Both times it’s ‘one of my sketches’

and “So, we sat on the terrace and just talked for about 2 hours, which was nice”.

Answer: it’s the whole clause ‘we sat on the terrace and just talked for about 2 hours’.

So, there was a little bit of language analysis. But that’s enough of that. I will now let you listen to the rest of the conversation properly, and enjoy another chat with podcast pals Amber & Paul, and by the way, just to let you know in advance – there is a little bit of swearing in this conversation.

*conversation starts*

Watch Paul’s Video about “La Bise”

A France24 TV news report about Paul

Outro – Transcript

We will be back, speaking more ‘crapola’ soon, because we’ll be playing the interactive lying game and that should be the next episode of this podcast.

What’s crapola? It’s just another way of saying ‘crap’ or ‘nonsense’. Crap is poo by the way. Crap is a swear word but it’s not as bad as ‘shit’. Crapola is not such a common word – it’s a variation on the word ‘crap’ and it means ‘nonsense’ or ‘stupid talking’.

Accents

Now, at the end there you heard us talking about accents. That was a slightly heated conversation and since this is my podcast I’d like to try and clarify what I was trying to say.

So, first of all we went for the audition and it was nice, but one of the producers said, “Can you speak with less of a British accent?” and we asked, “You mean you want us to use an American accent?” and she said “Not American, just less British. You know, like the way they speak in New York, because they don’t have an American accent in New York” and we were a bit stunned that doesn’t mean anything. So, first of all I think it’s not possible to have no accent. Everyone has an accent, but you might feel like your accent is the normal, standard position for the language and that every other version is an accent. Even accents which are considered to be the neutral forms are still an accent. So it doesn’t make sense to say that you don’t have an accent or that the people of a particular place don’t have an accent. If they pronounce words, using certain sounds, that’s an accent. Some accents are considered the standard forms, and in the UK and in the USA there are, broadly speaking, two standard accents. There’s Received Pronunciation in the UK, which is generally how I speak (although I have inflections from the midlands and the South East, reflecting the places where I grew up) and in the USA there’s an accent called Standard American, which is a kind of regionless accent. So maybe what the girl meant to say was, can you speak with a standard American accent, or a more trans-Atlantic accent? But then she realised that it could be taken as a bit rude, because it’s like she suggested that there was something wrong with our British accents or something. She didn’t mean any offence of course.

Another thing I often read online is the sentence, “There’s no such thing as a British accent”, which is a bit misleading. Generally people write that in response to comments on Youtube or Reddit or something when an American person has said something like “OMG I love the British accent”, or equally “OH my god the British accent sucks” or something. Then someone gets pissed off and writes a response, like “there’s no such thing as a British accent!” But that’s a bit stupid too. If an accent comes from a part of Britain, it’s a British accent. Obviously British accents exist, but the point is there is not just one British accent – there are many accents from different regions and it’s a bit short-sighted to just imagine there is only one “British accent” when in fact it’s so much more diverse than that, and I suppose that comment “There’s no such thing as a British accent” is the British person’s way of expressing annoyance or frustration over the lack of awareness of the diversity of British accents.

In the UK today we are very sensitive to accents, as Amber mentioned in the conversation. There are many many variations on the way people speak, and those variations indicate things like regional origin and social status. We shouldn’t judge people by their accents, but we do. We also are very affectionate about accents and generally very positive about regional accent variations. We love the diversity of accents in our country and generally it is considered inappropriate and snobbish to laugh at an accent or to suggest that there’s something wrong with speaking in a different way. Being snobbish about regional accents is now quite unfashionable in the UK. Regional accents are generally celebrated these days – and when you watch TV, including the BBC news, you’ll hear lots of different accents being spoken by presenters from around the country, because TV viewers appreciate the regional flavours of the different accents.

So, I suppose part of our surprise at the girl at the audition was just about her lack of awareness of accent variation, but also the slightly clumsy way she talked about the whole subject, suggesting that people in New York had no accent, or that our British way of speaking was just a regional variation of an accent that has its neutral base in Manhattan. But, I understand that identifying regional accents can be very hard when you’re not native to that language, so we didn’t take offence at the girl and it was fine, but we did find it amusing and interesting from a linguistic point of view. So, that’s that.

I must do more episodes about different regional accents on this podcast. There is just so much content to cover and it’s really important that you get a sense of the different accent variations. I have dealt with accents before a bit, but there’s so much more to do on that subject. We’ve only really scratched the surface.

Listen to Adam & Joe talking about British and American actors doing different accents, particularly Ray Winstone (UK – London) pretending to be an American in the film Fool’s Gold. 😂

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIxQFUV_AcA

And this one about Leonardo DiCaprio’s Irish accent and how Hollywood helps actors perform in different accents.

Oh, and remember Tracy Goodwin the American voice coach from Episode 20 of Luke’s English Podcast? Here are Adam & Joe talking about that…

Using Apps to listen to this podcast

This is turning into another longish episode. It happens so easily, but you heard Paul earlier talking about the ‘pause’ button. I wonder if you use that, because as I’ve said before – you don’t have to listen to these episodes in one go, you can pause and listen to the rest later. If you’re using podcasting software like an app on your phone, it will remember where you were when you paused, even if you close the app or switch off your phone or computer.

Here are some recommended apps: There’s the standard Apple Podcasts app, which is fine. I use PocketCasts which is available on iPhone and android. You can also get it on your computer. There’s Acast which is good. Also, try the Audioboom app. All of them let you listen via an internet connection (wifi or data) and the also let you download episodes onto your phone so you can listen when you’re not online. All those apps will save your position in an episode so you can listen, pause, listen again, pause, come back later and listen to more etc.

You can still just download the files from the website and put them on your mp3 player – just check if there’s a folder in your player for podcasts because if you use that folder the mp3 player will probably save your position, just like the smartphone apps do.

Thanks for listening – speak to you soon, bye!

 

341. Catching Up With Amber & Paul, Again

Amber & Paul are back on the podcast after a 4 month absence. What have they been doing? Let’s catch up with them again, and respond to some comments from listeners. This episode was recorded in the open air, up on the terrace of my flat in the April sunshine. It’s been almost exactly a year since did Episode 271: Catching up with Amber & Paul, when we sat on the terrace and chatted about TV series, ginger people and getting caught in the sun. Since then Amber & Paul have been on the podcast quite a few times, playing vocabulary & speaking games, planning a bank robbery and generally talking nonsense.

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The most recent time they were on, we played a rematch of The Lying Game. (Amber won, surprise surprise). Then we launched an interactive version of The Lying Game. We’ll be playing that later. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about – just go back into the episode archive and search for episodes with Amber & Paul.

In fact, to make it easier, click here to see links to other episodes featuring Amber & Paul.

Click here to check out Paul’s podcast, “Becoming a Comedian”. 


Who are Amber & Paul? (Just in case you don’t already know)

  • Both are Brits living in Paris. Both perform stand up.
  • Amber has a lovely voice. She does voice overs, does stand-up, trained at the Gaulier school (same as Sacha Baron Cohen) loves books, radio 4 and audiobooks. Speaks French. Is a history nut. Has lived here for about 10 years. Has a baby boy who is now about 2 and a half years old.
  • Paul is a stand-up comedian who used to work at Apple but quit that job in order to focus on doing comedy full-time. He speaks English, French & Spanish. Previous appearances on the podcast seem to show that he doesn’t know any words in English ;) and that he always loses competitive games we play. Since his last appearance on the podcast his comedy career has taken off after one of his videos hit 1.5 million views in about a week, and now his one-man show is regularly sold out and he’s being approached by TV companies who want to produce The Paul Taylor TV Show!

Episode Contents (Here’s what you’ll hear in the episode)

  • Describing the context and the situation – we’re on the terrace, in the sunshine again
  • Amber & Paul introduce each other (for the benefit of any new listeners)
  • We share some comments from listeners (I read them out, we all respond)
  • What have you both been doing? Anything to report? This conversation will continue in the next episode…

COMMENTS FROM LISTENERS ABOUT AMBER & PAUL

Original comments can be found in the comment section for previous episodes, especially 318. Any errors have been corrected by me – you’re welcome.

Comments about the team…

Gabriel • 4 months ago
I really like the episodes with Amber and Paul :D

Brahim • 4 months ago
You make an amazing team with Amber and Paul

This is a really good episode of Luke’s English Podcast. Natural conversation among native speakers, good, engaging stories, a bit of humor and the game that listeners can also be involved trying to guess who was a liar. Please make more conversations and games on Luke’s English Podcast. It really makes a difference.

Love the Amber and Paul jingle.

I like the new jingle. I think you should play it whenever Paul and Amber are with you ;)

Paulina
I really enjoyed this episode! Paul and Amber are awesome (I started to listen to Paul’s podcast too). The joke about Philips lightbulbs was great. I listened this episode during my way to school when I was in a bus. When I heard Paul’s laugh I couldn’t stop laughing too and lots of people in bus were staring at me but I didn’t care. Thanks Luke for changing my boring travel to university into a wonderful journey. I’ve already downloaded the second part and I can’t wait to listen to it.

On Paul’s appearance…

I had never seen Paul, but then I don’t know how but I was on your page on facebook and saw a photo of Paul. I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but I did. And for me Paul looks definitely like Mort, an adorable goodman’s mouse lemur from “Madagascar”. http://cs608727.vk.me/v6087276… His eyes are so lovely, kind and naive.
So, you are the greatest, Luke, but you, Paul and Amber are like a great power. You remind me of “The Fantastic four”. But I think you need someone else for a complete set! ;)
http://www.kinomania.ru/images…

mih • a month ago [added to the COMEDY SHOWS page]
omg, I thought Paul was black when I listened to his voice =)

On Amber & Paul’s voices (apparently most people think Amber has an amazingly lovely voice, but Paul has his fans too)…

OMG I love Amber’s voice! I could listen to her all day long!

Marinus
There is something so beautiful in Amber’s voice, Paul always makes me laugh.

Chriss Benitez • 3 months ago
I wasn’t aware of this episode till now. I will say it every time I hear Amber: “Just lovely voice”.
You’ve got a nice accent too Paul, and you do French and Spanish impressions so well. But Amber is a British girl with a lovely accent, there is no better thing on earth :/ sorry.

Dinara • 4 months ago
Paul I totally LOOOVE your voice! It’s charming)

Lê Vũ QC • 4 months ago
As a girl, I quite enjoy Paul’s voice, it sounds boyish and cute :) I’m downloading the episodes of his podcast now. #teamPaul

On Paul’s podcast…

Edelegn • 4 months ago
Absolutely loved Paul’s podcast.

Lê Vũ QC Lê Vũ QC • 4 months ago
OK I listened to the first episode and it was quite hilarious [Luke: absolutely hilarious]. I shouldn’t have been eating dinner while listening though because he talked about some gross stuff there. Very funny podcast nonetheless. :v

Michael Prior • 4 months ago
Hi y’all,
I enjoyed your rematch very much today! It’s just that I found myself thinking that you might have been a bit rude towards Amber, with referring to Paul’s comedy and blog and all. On the other hand, when Amber mentioned she’s doing stand-up as well, it didn’t seem worthwhile elaborating on that. You just let that slide… or did I miss anything? ?
Greetings
Michael from Germany
Luke Thompson to Michael Prior • 4 months ago
Amber does stand up too, but she doesn’t have her own show at the moment, and also doesn’t have her own podcast either. Really, it’s fine – we’re good friends so there was no rudeness or anything. :)


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From the Archives: Other Episodes featuring Amber & Paul

 

340. LEP Photo Competition Results & Winners / It’s LEP’s 7th Birthday / Ramble

In this episode the results & winners of the LEP photo competition are announced, and – it’s the 7th birthday of Luke’s English Podcast! This episode is long but you don’t have to listen to it in one go. You can listen, pause, do something else, listen later and so on. Enjoy!

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Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please because the results of the LEP photo competition are here. Try to contain your excitement. I know we’ve all been waiting for weeks with bated breath to know who has won this most prestigious of prizes, but you can now relax and breathe normally because the wait is over! Yes, in this episode I’m going to give you the results of the photo competition. I’ll tell you the winners and the runners up, I’ll describe the winning photos in some detail including my thoughts and feelings about them, and later in the episdoe I’m going to ramble on about some other stuff.

Also, this is the 7th birthday of my podcast!

Also, I’ve just realised that this is the 7th birthday of LEP! It’s been almost exactly 7 years since I uploaded the very first episode of Luke’s English Podcast. So, this is not just the photo competition episode but also the 7th birthday of Luke’s English Podcast too! Wow. Has it been 7 years? 7 years of my life have gone into this project. I have put a huge amount of time and energy into this over the years and I’ve loved every moment of it. Time flies doesn’t it. Yes it does. I’ll talk more of birthday-related things later, but if you’re feeling like you want to congratulate the podcast, celebrate the birthday, send me a card or a gift, or say thank you for my work or something like that, and you’re wondering what the appropriate thing to do is – well, here are some suggestions:

You could…

  • leave a lovely comment on the website explaining briefly what LEP means to you. It’s always nice to read your feedback and it helps the podcast because new visitors will see that I have an active, engaged, positive audience and that the podcast is good. It’ll help me reach a wider audience.
  • give the podcast a review on iTunes. This is really important actually – lots and lots of new people come to my podcast through iTunes and many of them will look at the reviews. So, if you enjoy this podcast and you feel it’s made a difference to your English, leave me a good review on iTunes. Lots of other people will see your review and it will really make a difference to the reputation of the podcast. Just go to https://itunes.apple.com/fr/podcast/lukes-english-podcast-learn/id312059190?l=en&mt=2 , view the podcast in iTunes and leave your review.
  • the most sincere way to say thanks is to leave me a donation via paypal. You should be able to find a button on every page of the website that says DONATE. This is the most sincere way you can thank me, because it’s like an investment in the podcast. Any contribution you make will support the podcast directly because it’ll help me to cover costs, such as website hosting and other payments, and because it just means I can do things like buy my wife lunch or something, and that’s important for my quality of life and my energy, which then feeds back into the podcast.

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Prizes

There will be more birthday celebrations later but first let’s get back to the photo competition, and here is just a quick reminder of what’s up for grabs in terms of prizes (this is where things get very dramatic and exciting – the tension is almost palpable isn’t it?!) First place will get two prizes: an LEP mug and another gift of the winner’s choice (so, another mug, a t-shirt, a pad or a tote bag), the two runners-up will receive one prize: an LEP mug each, and then there’s a surprise 4th prize, in a category that I’ve just added, for the winner of the Luke’s Choice Award (a gift of the winner’s choice from the gift shop).

I know some of you might be listening to this thinking – “What competition?” “What’s he talking about?” If that’s the case it probably means you haven’t listened to episodes 313-327 and so you’re blissfully unaware of this photo competition. Either that or you just forgot about it, or you had your memory wiped by Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones or something. So, if you don’t remember, go back to episode 313 and 327 to remind yourselves of this competition and to find out more details.

Hey, don’t skip this episode, alright?

Some of you might also be thinking, “Oh, very good Luke, very good, but I might skip this episode because I’m not involved in the competition because I didn’t send a photo and I didn’t vote and yada yada yada”. First of all I should say that I would be deeply shocked and saddened if you skipped an episode. I mean really. It would upset me very much and it would be a huge trauma for me. I might have to go and have a lie down or a cup of tea, just to get over the emotional impact of knowing that you’d decided not to listen. In fact, I’m feeling very emotional about it right now just thinking about that… But if it makes a difference to you I’d like to say – I do hope you stay and listen, because I think there are some good things to be gained from listening to this, and I’ve got some biscuits here. Don’t you want a biscuit?  Anyway, this episode is not just about announcing the winners, but it’s also about describing some of the popular photos using words, in English, and sharing thoughts and feelings with the LEP community.

Yes, I will be describing and commenting on the photos during the episode – so you’ll hear some descriptive language. I suggest you check the page for this episode to see the pics I’m talking about. Also, in episode 327  I taught you some very useful little phrases and techniques for describing pictures, which should be very important if you’re taking a Cambridge exam, or if you’d like to learn some useful little phrases and techniques for describing pictures. So, that’s back in episode 327.

Summarising the Competition

Just in case you don’t know, or you’ve forgotten or something, let me quickly sum up the competition again.

Some time late last year I opened up this new contest. I got the idea originally from a Long Term Lepster (LTL) called Guillaume who suggested it to me ages ago by email. He said, “Hey why don’t you do a competition in which you ask your listeners to send you photos of them listening in different situations, and you could share the photos on your website and people could vote for their favourites, and the winner could get a prize like an LEP mug or t-shirt or something?” and I thought, hmm, a competition in which my listeners send me photos of them listening in different locations and I could share the photos on my website and people could vote for their favourites, and the winner could get a prize like an LEP mug or t-shirt or something, that’s not a bad idea! And so I decided to do just that, and in episode 313 ( I think) I said, “I’m launching a competition in which you my listeners can send me photos of you listening in different locations and I’ll share the photos on my website and people can vote for their favourites and the winner could win a prize like an LEP mug or a t-shirt or something. All you have to do is take photos of yourself listening in different situations and I can share them on my website and everyone can vote for their favourite ones, and the winner could win a prize like an LEP mug or a t-shirt or something. What do you think?”
And people said “What? Sorry, can you repeat the sentence?”

Most people seemed up for the competition, which was nice.

There was just one condition , I said – “you have to include something that proves that you’re listening. So, that could be some headphones in the pic, or an LEP logo, or something like that.”
And that’s exactly what happened, everyone sent me pictures of themselves listening in different situations and I shared them on the page for episode 327 and then everyone voted for their favourite ones. I say, everyone – I actually don’t mean everyone – not everyone in the world. I didn’t get 7.125 billion votes, and not even everyone who listens to this podcast voted. In fact, just a small fraction of my listeners voted – which means that there’s a good chance that you, listening to this right now, yes you, the one with the ears – there’s a good chance that you didn’t take part in this at all. And I’d like to ask you why not?? What were you doing? Did you have something better to do? I can’t imagine what could be more important than voting in this competition! Except maybe writing a report for work or something – in fact there might be lots of things that stopped you from voting maybe you were going food shopping to buy food to keep you and your family alive, maybe you were cooking dinner and you couldn’t vote, eating dinner, feeding dinner to your family or friends, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, digesting food (I can’t vote I’m busy digesting), washing clothes, wearing clothes (sorry, I couldn’t vote, I was too busy wearing clothes), taking your clothes off in the evening – that’s time consuming, sleeping, being woken up by your alarm, putting your alarm on snooze, going back to sleep again, being woken up by your alarm again, putting it on snooze again, going back to sleep again, being woken up by the alarm AGAIN, and putting it on snooze AGAIN, then suddenly realising that you’re really late, smashing the alarm with a hammer, jumping out of bed, putting your clothes back on, having a shower, changing your clothes because they’re all wet, going to the toilet, taking another shower, cancelling 3rd world poverty, making coffee, leaking sensitive legal documents to the media that reveal the hoarding of massive amounts of secret money by a law firm based in Panama as part of a huge multinational tax avoidance scheme involving the leaders of many developed countries and various semi-legal tax avoidance schemes in offshore accounts based in tax-havens all over the world revealing incredible levels of alleged corruption at the highest level, eating a banana, going to work. You know, just the usual daily chores that take up our time. Maybe you were doing one of those things, and you couldn’t vote in the competition. I understand! That’s fine! I think that most people for one reason or another decided not to take part in the competition, and probably said to themselves – “Who? Me? Send pictures of myself listening in different situations so that Luke can share them on his website and then people can vote for their favourite pictures and the winner could win a prize like an LEP mug or a t-shirt or something? That sounds nice, but sorry Luke I’ve got a lot on my plate at the moment – I’ve got a big meeting with the boss this morning, and I’m trying to learn phrasal verbs, I’ve got to shred a few documents at the Panamanian law firm where I work and I have a conference call between with David Cameron, Vladimir Putin and some other world leaders that I have to attend to, and I have to eat these biscuits and I’ve got to escape from this pink gorilla that’s chasing me and I’m trying to learn the phonemic script to improve my English pronunciation… so I can’t do it I’m afraid, I can’t vote – but carry on anyway, it sounds like a lovely plan.”

Right. Are you following this?

I’m just saying that most people didn’t get involved in the voting, but that’s totally fine of course, and in a way it’s perfect because if 7.125 billion people had voted and sent me photos, I would have been impossibly busy over the last few weeks and my website would have crashed and so on… So, all’s well that ends well.

Total number of votes and photos? In fact I received a grand total of about 115 photos and then a total of about 270 votes.

Why did I do the comp?

I wanted to see things from your point of view a bit. Obviously, I do these podcasts on my own, mostly. Sometimes I’m joined by other people, which is lovely. But usually I just sit here on own (sad, lonely music?), I record episodes, publish them, read comments from some of you, and watch the download numbers go up and up and I think – who are all these people? Where are they? What are they doing? What are they thinking? It turns out, you’re all just normal human beings (which shouldn’t be a surprise) – I mean, you’re all normal people (I say normal, of course you’re all extraordinary) but seriously, you’re ordinary people just going about your lives in different countries, in different weather conditions, in different environments and you find time to listen to this podcast while you’re doing it. There’s a pretty diverse range of people out there in different situations, but the cool thing is that you’re all united by the fact that you listen to this podcast. You’re united by other things too of course, like the fact that you’ve all got legs (although, saying that I realise that some of you might not have legs of course and that’s great) or you’re united by the fact that you live on earth and other things, like that you need to drink water regularly, breathe air, eat food, go to the loo sometimes, we’re all united by these things, you probably like eating good food – who doesn’t? and you probably don’t like it when you have a stone in your shoe, it’s annoying when your neighbours play loud music all night, sometimes you run out of sugar or milk or, err, rice, and you get angry, like “Why don’t we have any sugar left!? Oh god!!!” or you find it embarrassing when you drop something in public or you trip over in the street and you’d love to get more sleep in the mornings. Yes, you’re all united by those things, but you’re also united by the fact that you all listen to this podcast.

In all seriousness, I can’t really overstate how amazing that is. It’s amazing. It is amazing. It’s amAAAAYzing. OK? Thanks for listening and thanks for your photos & votes.

But really, I was quite surprised at what a fun and even touching experience it was to look at all the photos that were sent. Did you check out the page for 327? It was a genuinely lovely experience, that was just a little bit heartwarming. Unless you’re a steel-hearted terminator of a person, who doesn’t let emotion defrost the edges of your frozen heart, I imagine that you felt it to be quite sweet as well, to look at all these pics of people around the world.

Not all the photos were outstanding works of photographic genius of course. In fact many of them were probably taken right at the moment that you were listening to episode 313 when I said “just take a pic while you’re listening – just take a pic of whatever you can see right now” and that’s exactly what a lot of you did – so there are some photos of computer screens, or mobile phones, or views from car or bus windows and stuff, but these pictures do have interesting details in the background or on the edges of the frame – just revealing little things that show us the things we have in common but also differences like which part of the world you’re in, or what your life is like – for example, the weather, the landscape, your working environment, other people we can see in the pictures, public spaces, etc.

Luke gets deep and meaningful

I’d like to take this opportunity to get deep and meaningful now and say some profound things about what your contribution to this photo competition means to me personally, and the way it represents something special as we move through life in this crazy world we call ‘earth’, struggling to make sense of what’s going on around us and searching for some oasis of calm and some sincere sentiments outside the usual banal nonsense we are exposed to in the media and in advertising. So, here’s some profundity for you.

So here we are, all living on this planet. We all lead these separate lives in different places with our own unique problems, stresses, responsibilities etc, but at the end of the day when we put our heads down to go to sleep, or when we lose a sock in the washing machine, or when we put our headphones on to listen to LEP, aren’t we all the same in some ways? We essentially care about the same things, don’t we? Despite being in different countries, divided by political boundaries, geo-cultural distinctions, ethnic and religious differences, we are all connected. We live pretty similar lives and we share the world together (cheesy). Things we do, even small things, affect the world around us, and affect other people’s lives – even people we can’t see might be inadvertently affected by our actions in some way, and what’s good for other people is good for the world ultimately is good for us too. You know, it’s like what Cypress Hill said – “What goes around comes around”. (Cypress Hill – “What go around come around!” – I couldn’t have said it better myself, except that it’s “what goES around comeS around”, but other than that, well done Cypress Hill.)

OK this might sound bit cheesy and naive but I think it’s true, and what I’m trying to say is that it’s stupid to divide ourselves up into little groups and isolate from each other, alienate people, stigmatise or scapegoat people and point the finger at others for being different. We should celebrate our differences, like our different customs and behaviour but we shouldn’t let those differences drag us into fighting each other on behalf of people who just care about their own power. Yeah man. Deep. OK, that was a cheesy and slightly preachy message there, but there it is. I think there’s a place for a little bit of cheese and maybe the odd bit of preachiness on this podcast sometimes because I enjoy the fact that my podcast is something that crosses borders and I think these things need to be said. It’s nice. If you don’t agree that we’re all interconnected in complex ways and that humans all basically deserve to be treated with respect, and that we have more things in common than differences – if you don’t agree with me, then leave your comments on the webpage unless you’re too busy shredding documents in an office somewhere.

So, back to the photos

Seeing people’s working lives – it’s awesome to observe the different types of work that my listeners do, and there are some interesting things in there, like Julia from Russia who works with gold for example.
Multitasking – it’s great to see so many people managing not just to listen to the podcast but also to do other things at the same time – like playing the piano, cooking, driving or in some cases answering the call of nature – (that means going to the toilet – yes I got a couple of pics of people listening in the loo). Good work (not for the toilet thing – I’m not judging you based on your performance in the toilet) but good work for the multitasking if that’s how you listen to this podcast!
Babies listening – There are a couple of little babies (newborn ones) listening too, which I do think is a good way to get the kids started on English. I wonder what this new generation will be like in English – the generation who will grow up with access to English online. It’s possible to raise kids with good English if you just let them interact with it from an early age. It’ll definitely help. Obviously, you should speak to them and get them to speak to you in English too. Hunter in Taiwan – I’m happy to see he’s smiling while listening to the podcast!
I know that some of my episodes are really long. I’ve spoken about how I think that’s good for your English. But I realise that your time is precious and I think it’s just brilliant  that you choose to spend that time listening to this.
So, as ever – thank you for devoting your time to this podcast. I’m glad my work is appreciated.
Obviously it’s a free podcast and I do this in my free-time so really it’s you who should be thanking me – writing me heartfelt messages filled with praise and admiration, sending me generous donations and and religiously recommending my podcast to every single person you meet (literally everyone) but nevertheless, thank you for devoting your time to LEP. In fact, joking aside, many of those things are true – I really do get regular messages from my listeners telling me how appreciative they are. In fact, you may have sent me an email or written a comment or something saying thank you and I appreciate that. Your feedback is great.

Also, congratulations to you for having the sense to listen to a podcast to improve your English, because in my professional opinion it’s a very good thing for you to do and it should give you an edge over other people who don’t do it. Obviously you should also do other practice as well, to activate your English including doing plenty of speaking if you can find ways to do that. But, you know, congrats for adding an English language podcast to your lifestyle. It’s BOUND to have an impact on your English.

So, now that I’ve rambled on about the podcast for a while let me now ANNOUNCE THE WINNERS of the competition and DESCRIBE THE PHOTOS in more detail. (why did I put those words in CAPITALS? …I don’t know – it just seemed more EMPHATIC!)

PHOTO COMP – RESULTS

4 prizes: 2 runners up, the winner, and the Luke’s Choice Award.

RUNNERS-UP (a mug each)

RUNNER UP (3rd place) Walter near Milan in Italy – highest listener? 20 votes.

Walter near Milan in Italy - highest listener?

Walter near Milan in Italy – highest listener?

Thoughts: This is simply an amazing view and it looks like the perfect place to listen to the podcast. Walking in the mountains must be invigorating and energising, and I hope you also get some mental stimulation from the podcast while you’re doing it. I also like the composition of the photo.

RUNNER UP (2nd place)

Photo title: Sergio’s illustration of me as a Jedi in training / Sergio Tellez LEP JEDI and artist! Total = 22 votes

Sergio Tellez LEP JEDI and artist! He decided to draw a picture of me as a Jedi in training! :D I'm Luke Skywalker, finally.

Sergio Tellez LEP JEDI and artist! He decided to draw a picture of me as a Jedi in training! :D I’m Luke Skywalker, finally.

Here’s a closer look at that illustration:

This is Sergio's illustration of me as a Jedi in training. :D There's another photo in the competition with Sergio doing the drawing - I consider them to be the same pic (this one https://teacherluke.co.uk/2016/01/20/327-the-lep-photo-competition-please-check-out-the-photos-and-vote/sergio-tellez-lep-jedi)

Note: Just describe the photo. What’s yoda whispering in my ear? “Mmmm, strong in the ways of podcasting you have become, but incomplete your training is.” Why master Yoda? What must I do to become a true Jedi Master of English Teaching? “Hmmm, monetise your podcast you must! Yes! Create online courses! Download them people will! Help them learn, you can! Video courses you could produce, yes! Study packs, pdf worksheets. Publish and sell your own materials online you must. Only then, a Jedi you will be.” OK master Yoda. I’ll try. “Hmm speak not of “TRY”. DO or DO NOT. There is no ‘TRY'”. Your voice is a bit weird master Yoda, are you ok?

Thoughts: A lot of effort went into this. The illustration is great, particularly Yoda. You’ve also done a pretty good job of capturing my face, probably based on just one photo. Also, the picture shows a lot of things like the fact that you’re listening while drawing, you’re a Star Wars fan, and you’re aware that I am too. It shows that you’ve been paying attention! I am Luke Skywalker after all. It’s really funny and nice!

OVERALL WINNER (1st place) (a mug + t-shirt, bag or pad)

Gabriella in Italy – listening while doing the housework (29 votes)

Gabriella in Italy - listening while doing the housework

Gabriella in Italy – listening while doing the housework

Thoughts: This is a great pic because it shows very clearly the way that many people listen to the podcast – while doing something else. Gabriella is obviously very clever to combine the two, and she seems so happy! Big smile on her face, and it’s just a very striking and colourful picture. There’s something appealing about it. It’s a slice of life. We have a glimpse into your home, and we get a sense of how much you enjoy listening to the podcast. Lovely stuff!

Luke’s Choices for Honourable Mentions (from ones that didn’t win) – and one of these will receive a Luke’s Choice Award (a mug)

These are photos that didn’t win or get runners up prizes, but which I’d like to mention because I like them.
Esther and so many ginger biscuits 9
Dima Okun – listening all the time! 8
Lеksandra Sokolova – an artist who listens while illustrating – sashasokolova.com 8
Denis (Bosnia and Herzegovina) during his Orchestra Rehearsal 9
Thavorn Twinant from Thaliand in San Francisco 10
Hunter in Taiwan listening with 14 day old son 12
Zdenek_Lukas in Czech Republic 13
Sylke Strüber and her pet dog Robin in Germany 13
Meliana and bear in Wroclaw (in Poland), which is this year European Capital of Culture 15
Mateusz from Poland – and his LEP fish 3
Paquan Satamparat in Thaliand with another LEP Ninja – turtley amazing 1
Anna – on the way from China to Vietnam 5
Guido in Milan – giving LEP some free publicity 7
Mayumi padawan learner from Japan just having seen Star Wars 6
Alexander in hospital in Russia – don’t worry he’s ok – and he’s listened to every single episode of LEP while recovering.
Lê Phương Thảo sunrise after staying up all night studying 1 (stayed up all night studying and then chose to listen to my podcast – instead of crashing out in bed, exhausted – you’ll go far my friend)

The ‘Luke’s Choice Award’

This is an award given to one of the photos that didn’t win, but which I personally like.
I like them all, but of the ones that didn’t win, this one stood out for me.

The award goes to:
Daria Bokova from Russia living China, cycling through the polluted streets (5 votes)

Daria Bokova from Russia living China, cycling through the polluted streets

Daria Bokova from Russia living China, cycling through the polluted streets

Why have I chosen this one?

It’s a slice of life. First of all, we get a sense of daily routine. It seems so busy, with other people cycling past. A sense of movement. A sense of multiculturalism. Environmental issues – with he pollution. A sense of urgency. Although it was probably taken very quickly and it’s essentially a selfie, I like the composition, with the cyclists moving past in the background and to the side, with Daria on the left, quite close engaging us with those lovely blue eyes. It makes me wonder what she’s thinking while surrounded by all this traffic. It must be a stressful daily commute, but she seems calm while listening to the podcast. And she l looks like a ninja, which is cool.

If you’d like to buy some merchandise, click the image below to visit the LEP GIFT SHOP.

Click the image to visit the gift shop where you can buy LEP merchandise.

Click the image to visit the gift shop where you can buy LEP merchandise.

Other entries and their votes

Lê Phương Thảo sunrise after staying up all night studying 1
Amir Khosh – the Dentist who listens to LEP 1
Sara Viñas in Beijing China with a mask for pollution 1
Gabriel Reis 1
Armando Torres driving in Mexico with the iztaccihuatl volcano in the background 1
Mohsen from Iran 1
Paquan Satamparat in Thaliand with another LEP Ninja – turtley amazing 1
Vlad from Kharkiv in Ukraine, where it looks very cold indeed 1
Alex from Spain making delicious chocolate cookies with the kind help of her two girls 1
Valtesse Maria Thompson – hashtags are enough proof! 1
basma-salman listening in bed I think! 1
Mike in Sri Lanka or India 1
Ewelina – keep on running! (with headphones on) 1
Carolina from Santiago Chile 1
Amaia Garcia – Bilbao in Basque Country – Guggenheim museum 1
Emília Hosszú – she nominated herself in the most boring category – in the UK I think 1
Julien the French stonemason 1
Emma Lee – LEP Ninja from Australia – in her 6 year old son’s room 1
Adam from Poland, now a sheet metal worker in Leicestershire in England 1
Irina Lavrova – another frozen Lepster! 1
Tania from Chile now in Munich 1
Aine Ito – LEP Ninja from Japan now studying in Edinburgh 1
Farid from Algeria now living in Montreal Canada 1
Tetsro – shaving in Japan with Philip’s shaver – did you ask Philip before you borrowed it? 1
Junji Yanagi, from Japan, who prefers walking than taking the train because it gives him more time to listen to LEP – 2
Jonatan Uriel Vidal Carmona in Mexico City 2
Francesco Lotto – a foggy day in Italy 2
romana from höflein, austria – running betwen vineyards 2
Anthony CP from Spain – listening in Northern Ireland 2
Ivan Irikov at the Gym 2
Anna Maria Chachulska (Polish girl living in Netherlands) and Kermit and a gin and tonic 2
A lovely photo of Renato in a typical listening situation 2
Guillaume driving with The Thompsons in Switzerland 2
Ariel Tsai (from China) marking her students homework 2
Quyền Cao commuting and listening 2
Sebastian from Poland – feeling good after a 5 km jog 2
Sergey Abakumoff – somewhere in Russia – spot the headphones 2
Alexey Алексей keeping an eye on the road in Russia 2
playdoh crow multitasking with a nude_potato 3
Mamen – waiting for the snow in Biescas in Spain 3
Mateusz from Poland – and his LEP fish 3
Kaline who listens everywhere! 3
Vasyl Usik on a bike ride in Ukraine 3
Sylke from Germany 3
Marina F with her listening partner – Daniel 3
Achim Winter – Cooking with Luke 3
Facundo Vilicich with a skipping rope in the PLaza Malvinas 3
huda s – favourite place for listening 3
Maxi from San Nicolás, a small town of Argentina – with the view from his kitchen and a cup of mate (local tea) 3
Paulina from Poland – listening in the morning. 3
Hideki from Japan and the Tokyo Skytree 4
Marina in Moscow 4
Jose, who listens while running to the toilet 4
Sabine from Germany – starting the day brushing her teeth in English 4
Leila somewhere in Russia 4
Carlos Rodríguez from Chile – multitasking 4
Alessandro from Rome on a ferry from France to England 5
Anna – on the way from China to Vietnam 5
Kristina listening at -20 degrees C 5
Daria Bokova from Russia living China, cycling through the polluted streets 5
Charleston from Brazil – on the way to his girlfriend’s house in the middle of the night 6
Julia from Minsk in Belarus 6
Eric in France – raising a glass to LEP 6
Mayumi padawan learner from Japan just having seen Star Wars 6
Julia from Russia – a restorer who works with GOLD – note the golden LEP 6
Cristian cooking for his British fiancee – who also is a lepster 7
Joanna from Poland and her comments! 7
Kristina in Moscow – smiling despite the snowstorm 7
Guido in Milan – giving LEP some free publicity 7
Serezha Sergey from Moscow 8
Weijia Wang from China 9

Other stuff

Crikey! It’s the 7th birthday of LEP! I completely forgot about that!

Top countries by download over the last 7 days, 30 days, 90 days, year.

Nicknames for LEPsters

I expect I have many types of listener. Some of you have been listening for ages, some might be quite new. Some of you leave comments, some don’t. Some of you use transcripts, some just listen. I was thinking of nicknames I could use to refer to the different types of listener I have.  Here are a few ideas. They’re mainly acronyms. *Let’s see how many of these nicknames I can actually remember in the future! and Let’s see how many get adopted by you*

LEPsters (all people who listen)
LEP Ninjas (People who listen but never comment, or people who comment rarely, or people who comment anonomously and then slip away into the darkness)
DLLs – Dedicated Language Learners (obviously that’s everyone – but these are people who really go all out to learn using the podcast, like listening numerous times, repeating what they hear, keeping vocabulary records, studying transcripts, or using any kind of serious work ethic while listening)
Dudes – Anyone (men or women) who just likes to chill out while listening. You might have a cup of tea and lie down on your nice rug and just listen for the pure enjoyment of it)
Civilians or “muggles” (People who don’t listen and who have no idea that it exists)
Splitters! (People who used to listen, but decided to stop for some reason – especially if they listen to OPP but not mine)
Scrubbers! (People who know the podcast exists but just ignore it, choosing not to listen)
Passive smokers / Second hand LEPsters / Significant Others (Wives, girlfriends, boyfriends or husbands who listen because they’re with another LEPster)
Younglings (Kids who listen to the podcast)
Comrades – I’m referring to fellow English teaching professionals who listen to this podcast. I have a special sense of solidarity with other English teachers.
All creatures great and small (any animals who listen)
Aliens (just aliens – I imagine they’re scanning all broadcasts on earth)
NSA Agents (Those American secret service agents who are listening to this – imagine Agent Smith from The Matrix)
LTLs (Long Term Lepsters – people who have been listening for years – maybe since 2009 – early adopters)
Newbies – Anyone who’s just started listening recently.
The Lost Adventurers – Listeners who are quite lost  because they just don’t really understand what’s going on in episodes, but they keep pushing forwards anyway, searching for the truth. I imagine you sort of lost in the jungle, slashing at the foliage with a machete, trying to find the path that will lead you to the temple of English enlightenment.
Transcribers (LEPsters who take part in the transcription process)
Audiophiles (People who have downloaded audiobooks from Audible)
Talkers (People who talk on italki)
Cowboys / gunsligners = people who think I talk too much “You talk too much”
Readers (People who just read the show notes and transcripts, but don’t actually listen to the episodes)
Multitaskers (people who listen to LEP while doing other things)
Philanthropists (people who donate money to the podcast out of generosity and kindness)

I’m sure you could think of plenty of other types of listener. So, I invite you to think of other names and add them in the comment section.

POLL – What are the most common types of listener? Complete this poll to find out!

[socialpoll id=”2349285″]

339. A Murder Mystery Detective Story (Part 2)

Here is the concluding part of this detective story, which is based on a text adventure by Peter Carlson on www.textadventures.co.uk. In the first part you heard me playing an adventure game in which I have to analyse clues and choose the right options to continue a story and solve a murder. Before listening to this episode you should listen to part 1 of the story. Click here here to listen to part 1: https://teacherluke.co.uk/2016/03/31/338-a-murder-mystery-detective-story/ In this episode (part 2) you’ll hear the rest of the story, and if you don’t understand what’s going on – don’t worry, I’ll explain it at the end and you can read a summary of the story below. Enjoy!

[DOWNLOAD]

Click here to play the text adventure, “Victorian Detective” by Peter Carlson on textadventures.co.uk 

The Story – Explained

“Wait, wait, wait! I still don’t completely understand what happened in the story!”

OK, me neither. Let’s clarify.

Story summary (Vocabulary check: Do you know all the underlined words? Check them in a dictionary if you like – perhaps the Cambridge Online Dictionary)

  • First we investigate the scene of a murder. A man has been shot dead but it’s not just a random mugging. It appears to be deeper than that.
  • We work out the victim’s identity by investigating a smoke shop where he bought some Vietnamese tobacco. The owner of the smoke shop tells us the victim’s name, Mr Gaubert Bouvier, and gives us his address.
  • We visit the address and discover that it has been trashed. All the objects in the house have been thrown around. Someone else has been here, searching for something. Who? It was 2 Russian brothers. Why were they searching the place? I’m not sure…
  • We discover a hidden science lab where Bouvier was making bombs. It turns out Bouvier was a chemist who specialised in bomb production.
  • There’s some action when we discover plans for another bomb attack in a theatre.
  • We go to the theatre and it’s the first time we spot the Russians, but we don’t follow them. Again, we’ll come back to that.
  • We manage to prevent the bomb from exploding and then discover that the target of the bomb was a scientist called Sir Joseph Swan. He was planning to patent and sell a new invention called the electric lightbulb. The victim of a previous explosion was also a scientist, working on the lightbulb invention. So, apparently the murderer(s) are targeting the makers of these lightbulbs.
  • We investigate the whaling ship which we work out is moored in the docks. It was sailing off the coast of Belgium, but it turns now it’s moored in London again.
  • Investigation of the ship tells us the navigator of the ship was sending instructions to Bouvier the victim to make bombs.
  • We manage to track down the captain of the ship, who runs away from us. There’s a chase through the streets near the docks. During the chase we glimpse a man with a scar on the left side of his face, but it’s not important. We’re chasing the captain.
  • We catch the captain. Why was he running? Well, it’s not because he knew about the bomb attacks. It’s for another reason – probably because the ship is involved in some other criminal activity, maybe pirating or perhaps smuggling.
  • Anyway, the captain tells us the name of the navigator: Yorick Rozencrantz.
    This is obviously a fake name because it’s taken from two characters in the Shakespeare play Hamlet.
  • We decide to investigate those two Russian brothers. We work out that they must be carpenters working on a construction site near the river, so we go to investigate them.
  • After a fight with the Russians we learn that they were employed by the navigator/Shakespeare/Yorick to plant the bomb at the theatre and to trash Bouvier’s house. (I still don’t know why they trashed Bouvier’s house)
  • After a bit more deductive reasoning, we later discover that the secretive navigator/Shakespeare/Yorick guy is a former French soldier who was posted in Vietnam, where France had a colony. In fact, in Vietnam he met Mr Bouvier, the victim of the murder.
  • So, Bouvier and Shakespeare knew each other in Vietnam, and as a soldier Bouvier was an expert in explosives.
  • With the help of a friend who is an expert on military history, you work out that the Shakespeare character is actually called Renard Voclain. We see a photo of him, and see that he has a scar below his left eye.
  • Using our amazing photographic memory, or eidetic memory, we manage to remember where we saw this guy before. It turns out he was there during the chase with the captain, hiding in the crowd of Londoners.
  • Our amazing memory recall and deductive reasoning tell us that he must be living near the docks, where he keeps cats. We know this because we remember seeing cat hairs on his trousers, and some other clues.
  • We head to the docks and the presence of some cats leads us to the right house.
  • There we discover Renard Voclain, the navigator/Shakespeare character and master criminal behind both the killing of Bouvier and the bomb attacks.
  • We learn that Voclain was also trying to develop electric lightbulbs and was killing off his competitors in order to have a monopoly on the industry – not a bad idea considering the massive profits that could be made, although we know that crime doesn’t pay.
  • After a quick gunfight we manage to catch Voclain, arrest him and send him to Scotland Yard where he’ll be charged and tried in front of a judge in the proper manner.

Results – Am I a Good Detective?

I got pretty average results from my detective work. (Listen to hear me read out my results)
Do you think you can do better? Try playing the game for yourself here.
If you enjoyed it, you can check out other Victorian Detective stories too (I think there are two other ones by the same author) at http://textadventures.co.uk

What do you think?

Why did the two Russian brothers trash Bouvier’s house?
Did I miss any elements of the story?
Have you played Victorian Detective yourself yet? Did you get a different narrative?

I can’t wait to read your comments. :)