Category Archives: Accents

219. Scottish Independence

66 Replies

Should Scotland become an independent country? Let’s look at the context, the arguments for & against and the possible outcomes of independence. Right-click here to download this episode.

Small Donate ButtonI know you might be struggling to catch up with all the latest episodes of the podcast – I’ve just uploaded 8 competition episodes, but I suddenly had to record this episode. I’m in a hurry to upload this one, because it’s quite timely and current, and important.

On 18th September the people of Scotland will vote in a referendum to decide if Scotland should remain a part of the UK or become independent. If they vote “yes” and Scotland does become independent from the UK it would cause massive changes to the way the UK is organised. It would be the biggest change in UK history for hundreds of years. It could change everything – not only the lives of the Scottish people, but also the lives of the English, the Welsh and the people of Northern Ireland. In short – this is a massive story for the UK.

This episode contains some audio extracts from this page of The Guardian’s website. I have included these extracts for educational purposes only. The main purpose of this website is to help people with their English. If, however, it is deemed that this is a breach of copyright, I will remove those audio extracts.

I might be a bit late to the subject but I have to talk about it on the podcast.

When you listen to this, the votes may have already been counted, and you’ll know the outcome. But still, I need to talk about it right now. This is a big deal for my country, and it has to be acknowledged.

You might be thinking – oh, but politics is boring. Well, a lot of people find it boring, which is a pity – but really, it shouldn’t be boring. It’s not really an entertaining subject – I mean, there are no jokes in here, but the subject is so important, and really it’s not just about politicians lying and boring the pants off everyone. Really, politics is about the way decisions are made that affect the lives of ordinary people. So, my point is – politics is not boring, it’s fascinating, but you have to focus a bit in order to keep up with it.

In terms of language – in this episode you can expect vocabulary relating to matters of political science and sovereignty, but I’m also planning to play you some extracts of people talking about the subject from different points of view, and all of them are Scottish, so you’re going to hear a few Scottish voices in this episode – and that’s always good for your ears. It’s always good to hear a variety of accents, as you know. Also, we’re going to hear a few politicians advocating their position for or against Scottish Independence – and it’s interesting to notice the ways in which they structure their arguments.

The eyes of the world are on Scotland right now. Let’s look too.

Throughout this episode I’m going to play you short speeches by various people with things to say on this subject. All of them are from Scotland.

Let’s hear now from AL Kennedy, a novelist from Dundee, who gives a kind of overview of this situation.

Also, the situation in Scotland mirrors the situations of many other nations around the world that are seeking independence. Perhaps you can relate to the Scottish situation if you have a similar example in your country.

It makes me think of these things:
How do you define a nation?
If you could start from scratch, and you could create a new country, what kind of constitution would it have? Would it be a monarchy, a republic? Would your nation be part of a union or federation of other nations? How much administrative control would you give to that union? What would your economy be based on? Who would be your trading partners? What currency would you choose? Would you need an army? What kind of foreign policy would you have? How would this affect your neighbours? Would it help them or harm them? Do you care about your neighbours? Why or why not? What is the historical background of your relationship with your neighbours? To what extent does that define your foreign policy towards them? What’s the economic situation in your country? If things are tough and there’s no money – who is to blame for this situation? Should certain people be punished? How can you be sure you’re blaming the right people? What are the dangers of becoming isolated from the rest of the world? What are the dangers of pushing nationalistic propaganda on your people? How will you be seen by the rest of the world? Would you want your new nation to be friends with America, China or Russia? Is it possible to be friends with everyone? Would you like to be in the European Union? What about that little island which exists just off the coast of your country? Are you ready to send your young men out to die fighting for it? Is it worth risking everything in order to feel that old scores have been settled, and that you can proudly hold up your head and say that you’re living in a free country? Who’s going to be the new leader of your new nation? Do you trust this person? Who’s going to be the head of state? How about The Queen? Does it matter what celebrities and rock stars say about your new nation and your policies? Do you have oil in your new country? Are you happy to live in affluence in your country while your neighbours suffer in poverty? Do you have an obligation to look after them? Are flags important? Does it matter what your flag looks like? How about the language people speak in your country? Is it more important that they speak the traditional local language than to be able to communicate with the rest of the world? If a small region wants to govern themselves, should they automatically have the right to do it? Who can really make these decisions with 100% authority and 100% certainty? Don’t people have a right to full representation in a fully functioning parliament? Does democracy even work, or is it too compromised? How are the corporations and capitalists involved in the running of your nation? Is it fair that they have so much influence on decision making? How much of this is about greed, money and capital gain? How much of it is about tribalism and nationalistic rhetoric?

These are the questions which come to mind when I think of this subject, and I think they’re all pretty universal questions that you could apply to any nation. Perhaps you could consider how this applies to your home country, but for now let’s look at Scotland. The land of tartan, kilts, haggis, beautiful rugged countryside, scotch whisky, the Edinburgh festival, gorgeous accents, incomprehensible drunks, Trainspotting, James McAvoy, the Loch Ness monster and so many other wonderful things which I am simply unaware of.

Contents of This Episode
1. A general overview of the Scottish Independence situation: Everything you need to know about Scottish Independence.
2. The arguments for independence.
3. The arguments against independence.
4. The outcome of independence – how would everything change?

1. General Overview
The following are notes and sentences which I used when planning and recording this episode. It is not a full transcription.
18 September.
Biggest constitutional decision in their nation’s history.
“Should Scotland become an independent country?”
What is the UK? What does independence mean?
Scotland & England were united on 1 May, 1707. That’s when the Parliament of Great Britain was formed. They set up shop in Westminster, London. Seem fair?
Ireland joined the union in 1800. Later, in 1920 the ‘southern’ counties of Ireland broke away, leaving just Northern Ireland.
Why did Scotland join?
England didn’t want the Scots to choose a different monarch than the one on the English throne. Scotland & England had been rivals for centuries. They wanted to put a stop to it. Scotland joined primarily for economic reasons. The country was broke. They’d tried to colonise Panama in the late 1690s, throwing all their sovereign wealth into the attempt, but it failed and they lost all their money. England agreed to bail them out in return for union. Perhaps the Scots now feel they’re in a stronger economic position than they were 300 years ago. We’ll see. Perhaps the Scots felt like they were forced into the union in the first place, and they had to pay for their economic mistakes by giving up some sovereignty and decision making power.

The home rule movement – There’s been a home rule movement for ages in Scotland, since the mid-1850s people have been campaigning for some kind of independence. This became more realistic for Scotland in the second half of the last century – after the 1960s basically, which is when the UK decolonising former colonies, particularly in Africa. The Scottish people clearly felt like they wanted a slice of that pie as well.

In the 1990s, under Tony Blair’s government, a ‘devolution agreement’ was signed. Devolution means decentralisation, and it involves Westminster giving more home rule power to Holyrood (Scotland’s parliament), so they can make more decisions that relate only to Scotland, without having full sovereignty. Westminster still can make large decisions that affect many aspects of life in Scotland, but Scotland can also vote on local laws. It’s not full independence.

The leader of the Scottish National Party – SNP is called Alex Salmond. He’s been campaigning for a referendum on Scottish Independence for years. In 2011 his party won control of the Scottish Parliament. This gave him a lot more power to push for a referendum on independence. The UK government agreed to give them the power to hold a referendum. You might think – why did they let them do it?? Why didn’t David Cameron just block it? Well, it’s democracy isn’t it? If the people want it, he can hardly refuse to give it to them. He’s not a dictator. Still, Cameron probably gave him the power because he thought the Scottish people would vote “No”.

So here we are. The referendum is happening on 18 September. A “yes” vote could massively change the UK.

Do Scottish people actually want to be independent?
What do the polls say?
Just a month ago it was about 65% “no” and 35% “yes”. So most people didn’t want independence.
But things have changed as the campaigning has increased.
Now, polls show 49% “no” and 51% “yes”. It seems that slightly more people want to be independent now. In fact, the majority now want independence.
Polls can be misleading. That poll could scare more people into voting “no”. It could also make the “yes” voters more complacent.
Also, in the final moment, people tend to vote for the status quo.
So, I still believe that a “no” vote is more likely, but I could be wrong. It could easily be a “yes” vote.
We’ll find out probably within about 12 hours of the referendum closing, maybe even less.
If it is a “yes” then Alex Salmond has suggested that Scotland’s Independence Day will happen in March 2016.
The SNP would have a massive party after the referendum, and then some very serious and difficult constitutional planning would take place. Currency? Join the EU? How to pay off the national debt? UK flag? Passport control? Ownership of oil fields? Nuclear submarines? Olympic team? The Queen as head of state? We’ll look at this in a bit more detail in a moment.

If “no” then things will still change a lot. Westminster has promised to give Scotland even more devolved power (devo-max) which would allow them to control much more than they do now, without giving them full sovereignty.

Here’s some complex stuff about how the UK is governed, but it’s important to understand this situation. The UK is 4 countries, united. England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. The government for the UK resides in Westminster, London – in the Houses of Parliament. IN the House of Commons there are seats which represent regions across the UK – small regions all over England, Scotland, Wales & Northern Ireland. Each region is called a ‘constituency’ and for each constituency there is a seat in Westminster, and sitting in each seat there is an MP who was chosen by the people of that constituency. They discuss and vote on decisions that affect the whole UK. Laws are passed for the UK as a whole, but then Scotland, Wales & N.Ireland have ‘devolved parliaments’ of their own – and they can make local laws of their own, or adapt some of the laws from Westminster. England doesn’t have a devolved parliament, so England can’t adapt UK laws – because they’re the same! This is really complicated and weird, and we’ll come back to it.

Anyway, the main point is, there are more English MPs in Westminster than Scottish, Welsh or N.Irish ones. This means that they have more power over decision making. So, the decisions of Westminster tend to favour England, because more English MPs are voting. So, the Scots feel a bit annoyed by this. They don’t feel properly represented, even though they have some local power, it’s not enough for them.

There are two campaigns for and against independence. The campaign ‘for’ is called “Yes Scotland”. The campaign against? It’s not called “No Scotland” – it’s called “Better Together”. Let’s look at their arguments.

2. “Yes Scotland” – Scotland should become an independent country.

    The Scots will be able to decide how their money is spent.

Scotland has oil reserves in the North Sea. If independent, Scotland would be able to claim these reserves of oil, and they could make Scotland one of the wealthiest nations in Europe. At the moment, those oil reserves are claimed by Westminster and exported or sold to energy companies to be used across the whole of the UK. Some people argue that careful managing of this resource could allow Scotland to become a super-rich country, like Norway or Switzerland.
But the money question is not just related to oil. It also means that the Scots would be able to carefully manage how much money they give to their citizens (welfare) and how it would deal with its pensions debt. The “yes” campaigners believe that the Scottish people don’t get fair treatment or representation by the government in London, and independence would allow them to make economic decisions that would be more suitable for Scottish people. For example – winter allowances.
Nicola Sturgeon
MSP and deputy leader of the SNP
The Scots would be able to get rid of spending on the nuclear weapons programme and use that money on welfare for people.

    The Scottish people would be represented by the people they vote for

Generally speaking, England tends to vote conservative, and Scotland votes left. The further north you go, the more people vote Labour or SNP. The further south you go, the more people vote for the conservatives. So in elections the Scots never vote for the Conservatives, but they often get Conservative governments because of all the English people who vote for them, and there are more English people than Scottish people. So, time and time again the Scottish people are represented by Tory governments that they didn’t vote for. So, ultimately, independence would make Scotland a more democratic place – they’d be represented by the people they vote for. A lot of Scottish people are really pissed off with the Conservatives.

The Conservatives are right-wing. They like to cut public spending, so the money doesn’t go to communities in Scotland that really need funding. Also, the Conservatives are made up of elitist, English, posh people who went to exclusive schools in the south of England. Most Scottish people don’t like them, don’t feel they care about them, and don’t want to be represented by them. They’re from a completely different world to most Scottish people. Why should they have them in government. Thatcher, for example, didn’t really seem to care about the Scottish people. She introduced policies that caused massive unemployment and poverty there, and she did it in order to break workers unions in order to get more control over the economy, and who did she serve by doing that? Big businesses who are probably owned by rich conservative English people from the south.

Lesley Riddoch
Community activist

Perhaps this strong “Yes” campaign is a reaction to the strict privatisation and austere economic measures of our current Conservative government. I really hope the Tories don’t ruin everything by alienating the Scottish people.

Ultimately, many people believe that independence would create a more fair and equal society in Scotland, a place that would be able to deal with problems like child poverty and health care. Scotland could redirect more money into areas that are important for its people.

3. The “No” Campaign – aka “Better Together” – Scotland should not become an independent country.

Independence is not a magic solution to all of Scotland’s problems.

It’s easy to get carried away by nationalistic sentiment. It can blind people to the reality of what is going on – that independence could cause more problems than it would solve.

“No” campaigners believe that the SNP’s policy for the future is full of unrealistic and impossible promises, and projections based on a very unpredictable view of the future for Scotland. It’s very tempting to see independence as a great thing – the Braveheart version – but in reality it could be complex and problematic.

Think of the difficult economic situation that exists in Europe at the moment. Is this a good time to go off alone – a small nation in the context of huge global uncertainty. It seems risky from an economic point of view, and the oil is not a permanent solution. It’s likely to run out fairly quickly, and then what?

Johann Lamont
MSP and leader of the Scottish Labour party

Why would Scotland want to break away from friends in the UK? Don’t they care about the people in the rest of the UK who need their support? Independence could be a very selfish act.

Also, the “no” campaign are attempting to remind people that Scotland has an integral part of the way the UK has been built over the last 100 years.

Alistair Darling
MP, former chancellor of the exchequer and head of the Better Together campaign

Devolution has been a success, and it will continue to be – with further devolution on the way. There’s no need to break up the entire UK. They’ll get the powers and representation they want in the form of further devolution.

Ruth Davidson
MSP and leader of the Scottish Conservatives

4. The Outcomes of Independence – What would happen if they vote “Yes”?
It’s not completely clear as all the details have not been decided yet.
Here are some possibilities:
Scotland would not be part of the UK any more. It would be “The United Kingdom of England, Wales and Northern Ireland” but surely, the Welsh and N.Irish would not feel very happy about being dominated by the English, without the balancing force of Scotland on board. They’d probably follow Scotland’s example – or they’d be stuck in a difficult situation.
Scotland would become a republic, and the Queen would not be welcome there any more.
Scotland would keep the Queen as head of state, like in Canada.
They’d keep the pound (not what the UK wants).
They’d take the Euro (not what Scotland wants).
They’d get a new currency (risky, and which one?)
They’d join the EU – but why swap one union for the other? It’s not real independence.
They’d try and strike a deal and join some kind of federation with nordic countries like Norway.
They’d want to get rid of all the military technology, nuclear submarines and so on.
They’d build their own army.
They’d erect border control on the border with England. (unlikely)
It might be necessary to show your passport on entry (for English people). (unlikely)
They might impose greater taxes and tariffs on goods entering the country. (unlikely)
It’s more likely that border controls and trade would stay the same, and would be seamless with the rest of Britain/N.Ireland.
They’d have to negotiate with England their responsibility for the UK national debt – it could be a lot!
They’d need to negotiate their share of North Sea oil. That would be complex because they’d discover it was owned by corporations who would not want to give it up without a fight (a diplomatic one).
All these things would take a great deal of time, effort, discussion, negotiation, law making, admin – by the time they get their independence as they imagined it, the world could be quite a different place and being on their own might not seem like such a good idea any more.

Also, it would effect life in England. Without Scottish votes, the Labour party would be screwed. The right-wing would dominate politics. The Conservatives would be rampant without the balancing force of the left-wing Scottish vote. Also, England might argue that it’s time for them to have a devolved parliament of their own – a kind of English Council or something. That would almost certainly be controlled by the conservatives (maybe led by Boris Johnson). The whole country would shift rather dramatically to the right. The tories should always be held in check by left-wing voters. A right-wing England would not be a pretty place, in my opinion. Do the tories really care about ordinary people? They would probably privatise some of the great institutions that make England a decent country – the National Health Service, The BBC – it could be a big change for the worse. The heads of corporations who went to school with high-ranking conservatives would benefit, those in need (the poor) would feel the squeeze.

Also, what about our flag – what would it look like? It’s not a big deal really, but I quite like the Union Jack. It would be a pity to lose it.

It would be a big punch in the stomach for so many of the things we know and love about the UK.

But, perhaps change is inevitable.

Personally, I hope Scotland stays in the UK – but I hope we can arrange a deal in which they get the powers and representation they crave. I personally think we’re better together, but I realise that I’m saying that as an Englishman.

But that’s the situation, and my opinion.

What do you think?
Please leave your opinions as comments.

FINAL RESULT
Since publishing this episode, the people of Scotland voted “No” for independence, which means that Scotland will remain a part of the UK but Westminster will now give further devolution to Holyrood as promised.
For more information on the result of the referendum and what’s going to happen next, click the links below.

Scottish Independence .gov.uk
Scottish Government Website

203. A Cup of Tea with Peter Sidell (The Flatmate from Japan)

11 Replies

English teacher, travel writer, stand-up comic, learner of Japanese, DJ, native English speaker, Machester City fan and former flatmate of Luke from Luke’s English Podcast – Peter Sidell is a guy who keeps himself busy!

[DOWNLOAD AUDIO]
Small Donate Button
I lived with Peter in Tsujidou, Japan for nearly a year. I left at the end of 2003 and he stayed there and I hadn’t seen him for about 11 years until he recently visited Paris and we got the chance to catch up with each other again. Of course I jumped at the chance to interview Peter for LEP, and you can now listen to our conversation here, now.

www.japantravel.com
Peter is a regular contributor to www.japantravel.com where you can read articles and travel advice for Japan. Are you thinking of going to Japan, or would you like to read some interesting articles about Japan in English? Just click www.japantravel.com to find out more. To see a list of articles written by Peter, click here.

During our chat you’ll hear us talking about such things as:
– Peter’s tourist activities in Paris (visiting galleries and looking at ‘crazy modern art’, drinking wine at lunchtime, attempting to deal with waiters)
– The day we first met each other in a McDonalds in 2003
– Living as an ex-pat in Japan
– Where Peter is from, and his accent
– Learning Japanese
– Cultural differences between the UK and Japan
– How it feels to go back to England after living in Japan for years
– Japantravel.com
– Destinations Peter has travelled to
– Doing stand-up in Japan
– How it feels to experience earthquakes in Japan
– The beauty of Mt Fuji seen from Hayama beach
– Luis Suarez

Thanks for listening :)10589716_10152725560062494_74912480_n
222618_5130717493_5217_n

199. The UK/USA Quiz

24 Replies

Molly and I ask each other general knowledge questions about the USA and the UK. How much do we know about each other’s countries? How much do you know about the USA and the UK? Can you answer the questions too? Listen and find out! Right-click here to download.

Small Donate Button
This is the continuation of the conversation I started with Molly in episode 198. In our quiz we ask each other questions about the history, geography, politics and even accents & dialects of the USA & UK.

If you fancy writing part of the transcript for this episode, click here to visit the google document.

That’s it for now! I’ve nearly reached 200 episodes of LEP. We should have some kind of celebration, shouldn’t we?

All the best,
Luke
pound-dollar

179. The Ramblings of an Exhausted Teacher

9 Replies

Last night I couldn’t sleep, and so today my mind has turned into jelly. Let me tell you all about it.

Small Donate Button[DOWNLOAD]

In this episode I talk to you, in a rambling way, about diverse topics such as:

  • Dwayne’s English Podcast
  • Being kidnapped by aliens from Mars
  • Exam fatigue
  • Trouble sleeping last night
  • English at 7.30AM!
  • The rotten contents of my brain!
  • Selling Luke’s English Podcast
  • Saying “Hello” to you
  • Having a conversation with you
  • “The best laid plans of mice & men”
  • The university course I’ve been teaching
  • Sleep (high-energy bit)
  • What are you doing?
  • On a bus
  • Signalling to another person that you’re a LEPer (secret codes)
  • Giving a wink to a stranger
  • On a train
  • Trains and lifts in movies (Bruce Willis)
  • My brain is on its last legs
  • THANK YOU! (Transcripts, donations, reviews)
  • A special hello to the NSA secret agents
  • Hello to Yannick
  • Twitter – it’s what you make of it
  • Whatever
  • Normally on Luke’s English Podcast
  • BBC meeting: Prioritising Luke’s English Podcast
  • This really is the end
  • Be nice to each other
    ;)

Lovely to talk to you,
Goodnight

Luke

jellyPODPIC
Thanks for listening ;)

177. What Londoners Say vs What They Mean

26 Replies

Here are some cliches that you might hear Londoners say, and some explanations of what they really mean.

Download Episode  Small Donate Button
This podcast is based on an article from the trendy/hipster website “Buzzfeed”. It’s about some common things that Londoners say, and what they really mean. It’ll not only teach you some vocabulary, but will allow you to get under the skin of London and find out some real inside knowledge of what it’s like to live there for real.

I’ll go through the list and explain everything for you.

Article originally published on BuzzFeed here.
Photo illustration by Matt Tucker, Dan Kitwood / Getty/paulprescott72/Thinkstock

***Please be aware – there is some rude language and swearing in this episode***

1. “London prices” — Rip-off prices.
2. “Sorry” — I’m not sorry.
3. “Sorry” — You have just trodden on my foot, and I loathe you with every fibre of my being.
4. “Excuse me” — You have paused momentarily at the ticket barrier and I am boiling with rage.
5. “My fault entirely” — Your fault entirely.
6. “I’m fine, thanks” — I am barely managing to conceal a churning maelstrom of emotions.
7. “How are you?” — Fine. Just say fine.
8. “See you Saturday!” — Don’t forget to email me twice to make sure that we’re actually meeting on Saturday.
9. “Let’s have lunch” — Let’s walk to Pret and back as fast as we can.
10. “I’m having a party in Wimbledon, come along” — Please travel for four and a half hours as I live in the middle of bloody nowhere.
11. “Open for business” — Oligarchs welcome.
12. “Centre of global finance” — Money launderers’ paradise.
13. “My commute? It’s not too bad. About average” — It involves three modes of transport, takes hours each day, and is slowly crushing my spirit.
14. “Could you move down a bit please?” — I’m not asking, I’m telling.
15. “Could you move down a bit please?” — I am seconds away from a devastating mental collapse.
16. “Could you move down a bit please?” — If you don’t, I will start killing indiscriminately.
17. “Due to adverse weather conditions” — It was a bit windy earlier.
18. “Due to the wet weather conditions” — A tiny amount of rain has fallen.
19. “Please take care when…” — Don’t you dare blame us if…
20. “We apologise for the inconvenience caused” — Via the medium of this dehumanised pre-recorded message.
21. “Due to a signalling failure…” — Due to an excuse we just made up…
22. “Rail replacement bus service” — Slow, agonising descent into madness.
23. “There is a good service on all London Underground lines” — Though this very much depends how you define “good”.
24. “Planned engineering works” — That’s your weekend plans fucked, then.
25. “Would Inspector Sands please report to the operations room immediately” — Ohgodohgod everybody panic, we’re all about to die.
26. “Annual fare increase” — We’re rinsing you suckers for even more money. Again.
27. “House party in Tooting? See you there!” — South of the river? No fucking chance.
28. “I live in Zone One” — I am unimaginably wealthy.
29. “The area is really up and coming” — Only one tramp shouts at me in the morning.
30. “Vibrant” — Actual poor people live here.
31. “Gentrification” — I am so glad they’re rid of the poor people.
32. “Gentrified” — Oh bollocks now I can’t afford to live here either.
33. “Efficient use of space” — Microscopic.
34. “Studio flat” — Bedsit.
35. “Incredible potential” — Absolute shithole.
36. “Affordable” — Uninhabitable.
37. “Deceptively spacious” — Basically a cupboard.
38. “Good transport links” — There’s a bus stop 10 minutes’ walk away.
39. “Authentic” — Fake.
40. “I just bought a flat” — My parents just helped me buy a flat.
41. “Swift half” — Many, many, many, many halves.
42. “Quick pint” — In the pub until closing time.
43. “We’re going on a date” — We’re getting pissed together.
44. “Picnic” — Daytime piss-up.
45. “Barbecue” — Piss-up in the garden.
46. “South London” — Here be monsters.
47. “West London” — Here be posh people.
48. “East London” — Here be young people.
49. “North London” — Here be newspaper columnists.
50. “Oxford Circus” — Roiling hellscape.
51. “Tech city” — Bunch of start-ups you’ve never heard of.
52. “London has some of the best restaurants in the world” — So how come I always end up at Nandos?
53. “London is full of cultural delights” — Which I never visit.
54. “Gourmet coffee” — Ludicrously overpriced coffee.
55. “Exciting pop-up restaurant” — You guys like queuing, right?
56. “We have a no bookings policy” — We hate our customers.
57. “This pub has character” — This is not a gastropub, and I’m scared.
58. “Traditional boozer” — Pub that does not serve wasabi peas.
59. “What do you do?” — How much do you earn?
60. “He works in finance” — He’s a psycho.
61. “He works in media” — He’a a wanker.
62. “He works in PR” — He’s a bullshitter.
63. “He works in tech” — He’s got a blog.
64. “Working hours” — Waking hours.
65. “Greatest city on earth” — Apart from New York.
66. “You know what they say: He who is tired of London…” — I am so tired of London.

172. British Comedy: Peter Cook & Dudley Moore

20 Replies

Listen to two comedy sketches from the 1960s, learn some popular cultural history, pick up some vocabulary and hear some posh English accents.

Download Episode  Small Donate Button

I highly recommend that you purchase this BBC DVD of The Best of Peter Cook & Dudley Moore. It’s really funny!

Introduction (with transcript)
Hello everyone, welcome to the podcast. In this episode we’re going to listen to a sketch from a comedy show called “Not only.. but also”, which was first broadcast on the BBC back in the sixties, when TV was in black and white and there were only 3 channels.

I’d love to tell you all about this show, and the people who made it. Peter Cook and Dudley Moore are basically the fathers of modern British TV comedy. I’d love to tell you all about how before Monty Python even existed, Peter Cook & Dudley Moore were doing surreal, satirical and anti-establishment comedy on BBC TV, and getting huge audience ratings, and inspiring generations of people. I’d also love to tell you more about the history of British comedy, because for some reason it’s very important to me. It’s one of my favourite subjects. It just feels significant, and I want to share it with you. Listening to these things is good for your English, but ultimately the reward is even greater than that – you can enjoy listening to something that’s a little bit special. But I also realise that you might not have the same level of slightly fanatical interest in the history of comedy, as I do. I could bang on about some comedians from the 1960s, but you might think “this is interesting Luke, but let’s just listen to some of their work shall we?” So, I’ve decided to just skip through all the stuff about the history of comedy and go straight to a couple of sketches, tell you about them, help you to understand them, and then later in this episode I’ll give you a little history lesson on Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, and their place in the history of pop culture, and then not only will you be able to enjoy their comedy, but you’ll learn more about British cultural history.

So, let’s focus on the sketch. I’m just going to explain the context for you and then you can listen to it, and see if you get what’s going on.

First sketch: Peter Cook & Dudley Moore “A bit of a chat” aka “The facts of life”
In this scene you’ll hear a father talking to his son about a slightly sensitive topic. The scene was written and filmed in the early sixties, probably 1964.

First, just listen (there is a script below, but try listening without it first)
Just listen to this and try and work out what is going on. Then I’ll explain things, and you can hear it again. There’s a script available for this sketch on my webpage.
As you listen you should try to work out what’s happening here. Why is this such a strange conversation? And why is the audience laughing? You might need to “read between the lines” which means look beyond what is just being said in order to discover the hidden meanings or suggestions at work.

How much of that did you understand? Did you get the humorous aspects of it? Let me explain the context, and the main points of the sketch.

*Sketch starts – “A Bit of a Chat”*
(See below for the script)

What happened?

Context
What do you know about Father/Son relationships in the UK in the 1950s & 60s?
They were more formal, especially among upper-class or upper-middle class families. Sons would call their father ‘sir’. They’d be very respectful, as if talking to someone of much higher status. They probably didn’t spend a lot of time together. These days, fathers and sons from normal middle-class families are quite close. They share quite a lot, and are able to talk quite openly about sensitive subjects like relationships or sex education. It might be embarrassing for the boy, but basically, the father feels quite comfortable doing it, and it’s normal and accepted. Back in the 50s or 60s, it wasn’t exactly the same. I suppose British men were less ‘in touch with their feelings’ and found it very awkward to discuss sensitive personal topics openly. Instead they may have dealt with them in the same formalised and distant way as they would talk about other topics. Also, we wonder how much most people really knew about sexual education in those days. Back in the 1950s or early 60s, before the era of sexual liberation, I think that a lot of people were completely in the dark about reproduction and all that kind of thing.
How about now? Are people more comfortable when talking about topics such as reproduction and sex?
Not completely, but certainly more so than 50 years ago.

The Class System & Boarding Schools
A little bit about the class system – particularly the upper class.
Nowardays, most people are middle class. In fact, many people believe that we don’t have a formalised class system these days. 50 years ago, the UK was more divided by class. Lower class (working class), middle class and upper class. Let’s look at traditional upper class culture. The upper class, or upper middle classes were considered to be:
Wealthy, educated, respectable and quite formal. Not liberated sexually, but bound by polite & formal social conventions. They would have been quite prudish about sex, finding it very embarrassing to talk about the subject. Many of the men would have been educated in exclusive, single sex boarding schools, which by all accounts would have been pretty cold, very formal and quite brutal. The boys never mixed with girls and grew up to be pretty clueless about sex. Kids and their parents didn’t spend a lot of time together, because of the boarding schools, and a father was more like a master than a friendly Dad.

Vocabulary
It seems that very posh people, from this period, often don’t really say exactly what they mean. They might make something sound more trivial than it actually is. For example “I had to give someone rather a ticking off” = means “I quite forcefully reprimanded someone for doing something wrong”
rugger – rugby
grubby – dirty / muddy
having a crafty smoke – secretly having a cigarette
give someone rather a ticking off – telling someone off
it’s a filthy habit – it’s a dirty habit
to cope with someone – to deal with someone
to get up to something – to do something (naughty)

Remember – it’s all about reading between the lines. What’s really going on? What really happened?

What does each line of dialogue really mean. E.g. the line about “there’s a cup of tea in here if you’d like one” means – come and sit down because I need to talk to you. The lad doesn’t want to, because, well, it’s probably awkward to talk to the old man, and this sounds like it could be serious.

Let’s listen to it again now, and consider each line, what is going on, and what is funny.

Second Listen

Questions
What does the Father want to talk about?
Why does the Father feel he has to talk about this?
What does the Father mean by “The opposite number?”
Why does the Father talk about sitting on a chair, etc?
Who is Uncle Bertie?
What is Uncle Bertie’s relationship with the boy’s mother?

A Bit Of A Chat (Script)
Roger, aged almost eighteen, arrives home from school, whistling: All Things Bright and Beautiful. His Father wants to have a bit of a chat with him about something. Just, a bit of a chat…
Father: Is that you, Roger?
Roger: Yes, father.
Father: There’s a cup of tea in here, boy, if you’d like one.
Roger: It’s very kind of you, sir, but I’ve just come in from rugger, and I’m a bit grubby. I think I ought to go and have a shower first, sir.
Father: Well pour me a cup, there’s a good chap, would you?
Roger: Certainly sir, yes, of course.
Father: Thank you. How was school today?
Roger: Oh, much as usual, thank you sir, but I caught someone having a crafty smoke behind the wooden building. I had to give him rather a ticking off — such a filthy habit, you know.
Father: It’s a filthy habit, Roger.
Roger: There we are, sir. Now, if you’ll excuse me.
Father: Roger.
Roger: Yes sir?
Father: Er — sit down. Roger, your mother and I were having a bit of a chat the other day, and she thought it might be a good idea if I was to have a bit of a chat with you.
Roger: Er… a bit of a chat, sir?
Father: A bit of a chat, yes, Roger, just…
Roger: Er…
Father: A bit of a chat.
Roger: What about, sir?
Father: Well, there’s nothing to be worried about, Roger, it’s just that, er, well, to be perfectly frank… how old are you?
Roger: Well, to be perfectly frank, sir, I’m coming up to eighteen.
Father: Coming up to eighteen…
Roger: Well, on the verge of…
Father: On the verge of eighteen… Yes, well, I thought it might be a good idea to have a bit of a chat now, because I remember, from my own experience, that it was when I was just, you know, coming up to eighteen…
Roger: On the verge…
Father: …on the verge of it, that I first began to take a serious interest in the – um – in the – er – opposite… the opposite… number. Now I don’t know, Roger, if you know anything about the method whereby you came to be brought about.
Roger: Well, sir, some of the boys at school say very filthy things about it, sir.
Father: This is what I was worried about, and this is why I thought I’d have a bit of a chat, and explain, absolutely frankly and openly, the method whereby you, and everybody in this world, came to be. Roger, in order for you to be brought about, it was necessary for your mother and I to do something. In particular, it was necessary for your mother… it was necessary for your mother – to sit on a chair. To sit on a chair which I had recently vacated, and which was still warm from my body. And then, something very mysterious, rather wonderful and beautiful happened. And sure enough, four years later you were born. There was nothing unhealthy about this, Roger, there’s nothing unnatural. It’s a beautiful thing in the right hands, and there’s no need to think less of your mother because of it. She had to do it – she did it – and here you are.
Roger: Well sir, it’s very kind of you to tell me. One thing, actually, slightly alarms me; um, I was sitting in this very chair yesterday sir, and I vacated it, and the cat sat on it while it was still warm. Should we have it destroyed?
Father: Its a lovely chair, Roger…
Roger: I mean the cat, sir.
Father: Destroy… oh, no Roger, you don’t understand. This thing of which I speak can only happen between two people who are married. And you’re not married.
Roger: Not yet, anyway sir.
Father: Not to the cat, in any case. Well, Roger, now that you have this knowledge about chairs and warmth, I hope – I hope you’ll use it wisely, and take no notice of your school friends, or what Uncle Bertie may say.
Roger: Dirty Uncle Bertie they call him.
Father: Dirty Uncle Bertie – and they’re right, Roger. Bertie’s a dirty, dirty man. He’s been living with us now for forty years, and it does seem a day too much… You know, if it hadn’t been for your mother, Roger, I don’t know where we would have been. She’s the only person who can really cope with Uncle Bertie, she’s the only one who can really deal with him. I don’t know if you realise this, Roger, but your mother even has to sleep in the same bed as Uncle Bertie, to prevent him getting up to anything in the night. If only there were more people like your mother, Roger.
Roger: Well, I’m very pleased that you’ve told me this, sir, because, as I say, I’m very glad I don’t have to believe all those filthy things that the boys at school say, and only yesterday, Uncle Bertie said to me…
Father: Take no notice of Uncle Bertie, Roger! He’s a sick, sick man, and we should feel sorry for him.
Roger: Well, I’ll try, sir… well.. thank you sir. Er – I wonder if I should take a cup of tea up to mother, while…
Father: I – er – I wouldn’t do that, Roger – she’s upstairs at the moment, coping with Uncle Bertie…
Roger: Poor Uncle Bertie…
Father: Poor Uncle Bertie…

And here’s the garden party sketch. It comes from another great BBC TV show called “The Fast Show”, which was Johnny Depp’s favourite British TV show.

The Psychiatrist Sketch (Script)

Braintree: Come in.
[Enter Roger.]
Hullo, Roger.
Roger: Hullo, Dr Braintree.
B: Hullo, come in.
R: I’m sorry I’m late.
B: That’s quite all right – how are you?
R: I’m very well, thank you.
B: Would you like to sit down, or would you prefer to lie.
R: Uhm, I’ll sit, thank you.
B: Right, well, sit down. Tell me, how are you in yourself?
R: I’m feeling just great.
B: Oh, this is terrific.
R: Yes, and it’s more than I expected from our sessions. You know, if anyone had told me that talking to psychiatrists could have help me at all, I would have laughed in their faces.
B: Yes.
R: But I can honestly say that our little chats together have really been of tremendous help to me.
B: I’m so glad, Roger: of course a lot of people are instinctively suspicious of psychiatry, but it can help at times.
R: Well, I really think it can, because you know, I’ve got so much self-confidence now. I’m much less self-conscious in the company of the opposite sex, whichI wasn’t, as you know.
B: Yes, yes, yes, yes. You’re less inhibited, are you?
R: [Suggestively] Oh yes, I should say so.
B: Good, this is terrific.
R: And the wonderful thing about it all is … well, I’m in love.
B: Well, this is wonderful news, Roger – you’re in love. – With a woman?
R: Yes.
B: So much the better – that’s terrific.
R: You know, it’s so wonderful to be in love – I can’t tell you the absolute joy I have. … this girl, this creature
[emotional]
, this goddess …
R: I mean, she’s
B: Yes …
R: She’s so, you know, it’s so right. Everything is so wonderful, you know.
B: Yes, yes – you really click together.
R: Yes. Oh, it’s so marvellous, but – the only trouble is that, apart from this wonderful light-hearted love I have, I seem to be saddled with this tremendous burning sense of guilt.
B: You have guilt as well as love: well, this is unfortunate, Roger. You know, sex is the most wonderful natural, healthy thing in the world. There’s no reason at all to have any guilt about it. I mean,why should you have guilt about sex?
R: Well, it’s not really as simple as that, you know – it’s rather difficult to explain. Uhm, I don’t reallyknow where to start. It’s rather difficult to explain. Uhm, I don’t really know where to start.
B: Well, begin at the beginning. That’s always the best place. What’s the girl’s name.
R: [Pause] Stephanie.
B: Stephanie. That’s a lovely name, isn’t it – well, my wife’s name in fact, isn’t it?
R: Yes, it’s Stephanie.
B: Yes, it’s Stephanie.
R: Yes, it’s Stephanie.
B: No, it’s Stephanie.
R: Yes, it’s Stephanie: it’s your wife.
B: Oh, you’re in love with my wife, Stephanie. Well, this is a perfectly understandable thing, Roger. She’s a very attractive woman – I married her myself. I don’t see why you should feel upset about that.
R: But she’s in love with me.
B: Well, this is again perfectly understandable, Roger. I mean, you’re a perfectly attractive human being, as I’ve told you over the last few weeks. There’s nothing repulsive about you, is there? There’s no reason why a highly sexed woman such as Stephanie shouldn’t fall in love with you. And I must explain to you, Roger, that I’m a very busy man: I have many, many patients to see – I see rather less of my wife perhaps than I should, and I think it’s very understandable she should seek some sort of companionship outside the marriage – I don’t think that’s unreasonable at all.
R: But she’s not seeking anything outside marriage – nor am I. We want to get married.
B: Well, this again is perfectly understandable. After all, you’re two young people in love and you want to express your feelings within the confines of a bourgeois society through marriage. I think it’s very appropriate.
R: The awful thing is, you see – I should feel so grateful to you for what you’ve done. And all I can feel is this burning jealousy – I can’t bear the thought of you touching her.
B: Well, of course, I understand this. One is tremendously possessive about someone one loves … it would be unhealthy not to have this jealous reaction, Roger.
R: But don’t you see – I hate you.
B: Of course you hate me, Roger.
R: I hate you for being so near her.
B: Yes, of course you hate me, Roger. You love to hate the one who loves the one you hate to love the one you hate. This is a very old rule, Roger – there’s nothing to feel ashamed about. It’s absolutely reasonable.
R: Don’t you understand – I want to kill you.
B: Of course you want to kill me. Because by killing me , Roger, you eradicate the one you hate. This is a perfectly natural reaction, Roger.
R: You’re so reasonable, aren’t you.
B: Yes, I am.
R: [Getting cross]
You understand it all so much …you are so logical.
[Gets up to strike him.]
B: Yes, I am – it’s my job.
R: I’m going to have to kill you
now
!
B: Ah – Roger – this is a little inconvenient, because I have another patient a six-thirty and then there’s someone else at seven after that. I wonder if you could make it some time next week.
[Standing over him.]
Could you make it early in the week, say?
R: [Pause – relax] When do you think?
B: How are you fixed on Wednesday morning? Say nine-thirty – would that be convenient?
R: Yes, that’s perfect.
B: Right, well, if you could pop along at nine-thirty and kill me then.
R: Once again, Doctor Braintree, I’m amazed, you know, really. I’m so grateful to you for showing me the way.
B: That’s what I’m here for, Roger.
R: Thank you very much. Thank you.
B: And with a bit of luck, this should be the last time you need to visit me

Comments
I think it’s pretty clear what’s funny about this. The psychiatrist has cured Roger and he feels so happy to be in love, but it turns out that Roger is in love with the Psychiatrist’s wife Stephanie. The psychiatrist doesn’t fly into a jealous rage – in fact he’s ridiculously logical and reasonable about it. This sketch allows us to imagine what the psychiatrist must be like at home – so reasonable all the time, he must be no fun at all. No passion, just plain dedication to his job; the rational understanding of psychology at the expense of natural human emotions and feelings, which is unnatural and ridiculous, as well as frustrating. It could be a wider statement about psychiatry, but let’s not analyse it too much. It’s just funny listening to the reactions, and the nicely written lines.

Vocabulary
There may be some words and expressions that you don’t know, or that could be useful to you. Let’s have a look:

terrific
our little chats together have really been of tremendous help to me
I’m much less self-conscious in the company of the opposite sex, which I wasn’t, as you know.
B: Yes, yes, yes, yes. You’re less inhibited, are you?
you really click together.
I seem to be saddled with this tremendous burning sense of guilt.
There’s nothing repulsive about you
There’s no reason why a highly-sexed woman such as Stephanie shouldn’t fall in love with you
You want to express your feelings within the confines of a bourgeois society through marriage.
I can’t bear the thought of you touching her.
Because by killing me , Roger, you eradicate the one you hate.
If you could pop along at nine-thirty and kill me then.

That’s it! Don’t forget to listen several times to get the full benefit!

Feel free to leave comments and questions below.

Thanks for listening,

Luke

171. A Cup of Tea with Daniel Burt (Part 2)

8 Replies

[2/2] Here’s the second part of my conversation with Daniel Burt, who is a journalist, comedy writer and performer from Melbourne, Australia.

Download Episode  Small Donate Button
In this conversation we talk about these things:
Daniel’s move to London
Aussie pubs in Paris and London
Cliches about Australian people
Australian pronunciation
Typical Australian English phrases
The Australian character and national identity
Australian politicians
The future of Australia & Australia’s image of itself
Sport & competition
Interviewing Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock), Martin Freeman (The Hobbit), Matt Smith & David Tennant (Doctor Who)

To contribute a few minutes of transcription for this episode, click here to work on the google document:

If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment.

All the best,
Luke

Daniel’s Video Showreel
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9V3cKGvISU&w=500&h=281]

169. A Cup of Tea with Daniel Burt (Part 1)

8 Replies

[1/2] Daniel Burt is a journalist, comedy writer and performer from Melbourne, Australia. He writes for two big newspapers in Australia, he worked as an intern at Late Night with David Letterman, he has his own page on Wikipedia and in his work he has interviewed Matt Smith, David Tennant, Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, which means he has met 2 Doctor Whos Sherlock Holmes, Dr Watson and The Hobbit! Wow.  In this episode you can listen to us talking about diverse topics such as Australia’s relationship to The Queen & The Commonwealth, his work as an entertainment journalist, his time living in New York, the David Letterman show, Will Smith, show business, and zombies…

Download Episode  Small Donate Button
I’m very pleased to have Daniel on the podcast for a number of reasons:
a) He is a bright, witty guy with lots of things to say, and he can talk the hind legs off a donkey (not literally, that’s just an idiom which means he can talk and talk!)
b) He is from Australia, so you can listen to his genuine Aussie accent and hear some authentic Australian English.
c) He has met Sherlock Holmes, Bilbo Baggins, Doctor Who and others.

Daniel is noteworthy enough to have his own page on Wikipedia. Click here to read it.

Daniel is a writer so naturally uses a lot of colourful language, descriptive vocabulary and idiomatic expressions. He also speaks pretty quickly in an accent that you might not be familiar with so listen closely. A transcript should arrive before too long but if you have any questions about words or phrases from this episode, please leave them in the comments section, with a time-code. ;)

This is a two part podcast. In part 1, this one, Daniel and I talk about these things:
The Zombie Apocalype
– Is my apartment safe?
– Would Daniel survive a zombie attack? Is he too complacent?
– Are people who like zombies all loners?
– Is Luke a loner?
Daniel’s Coin-dropping Habits
– Why can’t Daniel hold onto coins when shop assistants give him change?
– Why does he always drop coins onto the floor?
– Is it because Australian notes are so shiny and slippery, that the coins just slide off?

– Or is it just because he is socially awkward or nervous for some reason?
The Queen on Australian money
– How does Daniel feel about it?
– What’s the role of The Queen in Australian life?
– Will Australia leave the commonwealth and become fully independent?
Daniel’s work as an entertainment journalist
– Does he really have a Wikipedia page about him?
– What was it like living in New York?
– What was it like working for David Letterman?
Seeing Will Smith in the audience at a Parisian cabaret show
– Did he enjoy the show?
– What was the audience’s reaction to seeing Will Smith in the crowd?
– Did it affect the performance?
– What are the secrets of show business?
-And what does “getting jiggy with it” actually mean?

I’ve divided this into two episodes. So, stay tuned for details about his meeting with Sherlock Holmes, The Hobbit and Doctor Who in part 2.

Our conversation begins pretty quickly after we’d already been talking for about half an hour before turning on the microphone. Let me give you some context so you can hit the ground running.

Before turning on the microphone, we were talking about some of our favourite TV shows. I mentioned that I watch The Walking Dead, which is a show about zombies. I like zombies and that kind of thing, I’m sick and twisted in that way. Daniel doesn’t watch the show, and he isn’t a big zombie fan. He said he thought you’d need to be a bit of an idiot to get bitten by a zombie, because they’re so slow. Surely you’d see the zombie coming, and you’d just get out of the way, quite casually. I disagreed, and explained that getting bitten by a walker is easier than you might expect. Zombies might seem slow, but if you get complacent – over confident and too relaxed, that’s when you might be caught by surprise. If a zombie is walking towards you, he’s pretty slow so you might think you’re safe, but they’re unpredictable. What might happen is that the zombie gets about 3 metres away, and gets excited because he can smell your brains, and he trips slightly and starts to fall forwards. This means that his falling increases his speed and the momentum carries him to you faster than you expected. The next thing you know, you’ve got a zombie on top of you, and while you’re trying to deal with him, another one might have arrived behind you quietly, without you realising, and then you’re bitten, double bitten by two members of the undead. Then, later on, you’re a zombie too. Uhhh brains! Daniel didn’t realise this could happen. I reassured him, by explaining that up in my flat we would be quite safe from zombies because I’m up on the 6th floor, and my door is very strong. But that you still shouldn’t get complacent, even then. You can never be too safe from zombies, because, well, anything can happen. For example, let’s say, on the other side of the city, some guys have managed to escape from a zombie infested building by flying off the roof in a helicopter. “Ooh, that was close – good thing we had this helicopter!” But one of the guys in the chopper has been bitten, and he didn’t tell the others! He was too ashamed, too embarrassed. He kept it secret. Big mistake! Within minutes, he’s turned into a zombie, and he starts attacking the pilot. Trying to eat his brains. Horrible! The pilot gets bitten and he turns into a zombie too. Now you’ve got a zombie flying a helicopter. In the confusion the helicopter crashes onto the roof of my building – the pilot and passengers are all zombies, and they crawl from the wreckage and climb through a hole in the wall, into my living room, and Daniel gets bitten. Not me of course, I’d be ready with a cricket bat or a hammer or something. Maybe a crossbow. It would be tough, but I’d deal with them. Daniel though – he’d be beyond dead at that point, the poor guy. And why? Because he got complacent. Or zombies could manage to get to the 6th floor in a lift, by accident. Or just thousands and thousands of zombies could surround my building, and eventually break in by smashing all the windows and doors. Don’t worry though, it’s very unlikely to happen… or is it?…
So, that’s some context to the conversation I was having with Daniel before starting the recording. Now you can enjoy some chat with my Aussie mate Daniel. Enjoy!

Daniel’s Video Showreel

In part 2:
Daniel’s move to London
Cliches about Australian people
Typical Australian English phrases
Australian pronunciation
The Australian character and national identity
Australian politicians
The future of Australia & Australia’s image of itself
Sport & competition
Interviewing Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock), Martin Freeman (The Hobbit), Matt Smith & David Tennant (Doctor Who)

158. & 159. A Cup of Tea with… Paul Taylor (Parts 1 & 2)

6 Replies

Part-transcript available below
Hello! In this Christmas episode I am joined by Paul Taylor who is that rare thing; an English guy who can speak other languages.

Paul is also a stand-up comedian who specialises in observing funny things about different cultures. He is also really good at doing different accents.

Small Donate ButtonRight-click here to download, or to listen on an iPad.

Part 2

[DOWNLOAD]
A TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE IS CURRENTLY BEING PRODUCED BY LISTENERS. CLICK HERE TO HELP FINISH THE TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE ON A GOOGLE DOCUMENT :)

In the episode we talk about Christmas traditions, his experiences of living in other countries and plenty of other things, including some examples of different accents in English. Enjoy the show!

Here is a video of Paul performing stand-up comedy around the world:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q2Xn6jEsdQ&w=500&h=281]
And here’s one from a performance in Spanish, with English subtitles:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1H5bpbSm30&w=500&h=281]

Here is a link to the Wkikipedia page for Fawlty Towers, which is the sit-com set in Torquay on the south coast of England. And, here’s a clip from the show. It’s old, but it’s a classic ;)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-oH-TELcLE&w=500&h=375]

Merry Christmas everyone!

Luke

TRANSCRIPT FOR EPISODES 158 & 159
Here is a transcript for the first five minutes of episode 158, sent in by a listener called Dmitry, and proofread by me.
Hello ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to Luke’s English Podcast.

– “What is that sound”, you are probably thinking. Well, that is the sound of Christmas, ladies and gentlemen. It should be the sound of Christmas. It is actually a tambourine.

Paul – Ho, ho, ho!

Luke – Is that Santa?

Paul – Ho, ho, ho!

Luke – It sounds like Santa. It is not actually Santa. It is just my friend Paul Taylor who is joining with me for this episode and it is nearly Christmas, so: Hello, Paul! How are you?

Paul – Hi, Luke! I am doing very well. It is very close to Christmas. 19th of December currently.

Luke – Yes, we’ve just got six days, before Christmas

Paul – I used to be more excited than this…

Luke – Me too.

Paul – …six days, before Christmas. I used to be going crazy.

Luke – Yeah, me too. I used to… I used to get so excited, when I was a kid, about Christmas. You don’t get excited anymore?

Paul – Um, noooooo, I do not know why. It is particularly this year, like I am very unexcited. I have been excited previous years. Um, but just not feeling it this year. I do not know why.

Luke – I used to…, you know, every day, I used to count the days, literally, I used to count down the days until it was Christmas. You know, starting the December I would be – “Only 28 days ’til Christmas”, for example.

Paul – At the beginning of December, when do you have Christmas?

Luke – Yeah, I couldn’t count, I was only four and anyway, I used to get so excited and when it got to Christmas Eve I would be so unbelievably excited that  I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I remember lying in bed on Christmas Eve, I would just trying to force myself to go to sleep, so I could then wake up and open my presents.

Paul – That is scarily similar to how I used to feel. Although, probably, a lot of English people maybe have gone through the same experience. I think, one of the things, that, potentially, I am not excited about or the reason I am not excited about is that I do not have this year an advent calendar. I have noticed that you have a Kinder advent calendar, which I was almost going to buy, but it was  too late and now, you have eaten nineteen chocolates or shared nineteen chocolates.

Luke – It is an advent calendar. What is an advent calendar, Paul?

Paul – An advent calendar – so, “advent” is a term which I do not know where It comes from, but it is the term that depicted for the calendar that usually you open every day. So, there’s twenty-five or some, calendars go up to thirty-one, but most go up to twenty-five in the UK, anyway. Twenty-five days and behind …you open each like a door, each day, and each day, there is something waiting for you. Whether it is a picture… so the kinder calendar you have, em, I presume, has kinder branded chocolates behind, whether it is like a mini egg or whether it is a kinder Bueno. Whether it is whatever else it is. I love kinder.

Luke – You, you are quite familiar with a range of kinder products – Bueno?

Paul – The kinder Bueno and, the kinder Bueno It is like the soft, the soft one is really good. Yeah, that is an advent calendar. I believe an advent – it is something to do with a religious aspect of Christmas.

Luke – Yeah

Paul – But, I can not remember the exact. It is something to do with the date, emmmmmmm.

Luke – Yeah! Exactly! So, when I was a kid, I used to have an advent calendar which, um, was very nice. It had like a religious scene on it, some Christian image on it and you would find, um, there would be a door for each, um, um, day of the month and you would open, you find a door, you open it and behind it there is a picture, like a wise man or something.

Paul – Uhoo.

Luke – Or there would be a picture of, you know, some Christmas related to a Christian thing, a picture of, em, aaaaa, mmmmm, a shepherd, you know, a picture of a church and then, the last picture is always the baby Jesus. There he is. But this one, I have got here, is completely un-Christian, I think it’s… There is nothing religious about this, this Kinder advent calendar at all.

Paul – No, it is, um, it is just full of chocolate. Now, be honest. Well, now, you are probably at the age when it does not really matter, but when you were younger and you had an advent calendars which had chocolate in them

Luke – Yeah

Paul – …did you secretly open, …

Luke – Yeah

Paul – … like… day… twenty-four.. when It was actually the sixteenth and you eat the chocolate and then kind of close it up?

Luke – Yes. I did.

You can help to finish this transcript here, by using a google doc. Click for more information and to collaborate with other listeners. 

156. British Comedy: Ali G

17 Replies

Check it! This is the first in a series of episodes about British comedy. In this one we look at a character called Ali G. In the episode I’ll explain everything you need to know about him, then we’ll listen to an interview from his TV show and I will explain all the language and vocabulary that you hear. In the end, you’ll understand all of it, just like a native speaker innit.


Small Donate ButtonRight-click here to download this episode.
Aiiiight?! So, in this episode you’ll learn about lots of things, including some slang vocabulary, some pronunciation features of a London dialect, and some terms relating to education. You’ll also learn more about British pop culture.

Please be aware that there is some explicit content and rude language in this episode. The audio that you will hear contains some adult content including references to sex and drugs. If you’re easily offended then watch out! If you don’t mind, then great! Let’s have a good time learning some more British English, shall we? Yes Luke! Ok great…

NUFF RESPECT! Below you will find vocabulary definitions and other notes, and a youtube video for the interviews you hear in this episode of the podcast. I recommend that you watch the videos – it will help you to enjoy the comedy more. BOOYAAA!

Vocabulary Definitions and Notes
Here are some bits of language you’ll hear in this episode.
Ali G – Education. An interview with Sir Rhodes Boyson. Slang terms are written in italics.
Corporal punishment = this is a kind of physical punishment which used to be used in schools as a way of instilling discipline into childen
a cane / to cane someone / to get caned / to be caned = a cane is a long, thin stick which is used to hit a child as punishment. The word is also a verb (regular)
to get caned / to be caned = this is also a slang expression which means to get  stoned/high on cannabis/weed/marijuana
my main man = this is a slang expression to refer to someone you like or someone you respect a lot
wicked! = a slang term meaning “brilliant!”
respect = this is said just to show respect to someone – “respect man” “nice one”
you have to have a good cane = in its slang sense, this means you have to smoke a lot of weed
“they have more boning experience than anybody else”
boning = having sex
a boner = an erection
me feelin dat (I’m feeling that) = I understand that, I get that impression
for real = definitely
to deal in ounces, half ounces, quarter ounces, eighths of ounces = in the UK cannabis is usually sold by the ounce, quarter ounce etc
one ounce (1 oz = about 28 grammes)
he’s down for a 40 year stretch = he’s going to prison for 40 years / he’s facing a 40 year prison sentence
“boys would spend all their time chasing muff”
muff = a woman’s ‘private parts’, her genitals, her vagina
“I got an A+ in pounani”
pounani = the same as muff !
you know what I’m getting at = you know what I’m trying to say, you know what I’m suggesting

Video of Ali G interviewing Sir Rhodes Boyson
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV1fq75aWtY&w=500&h=375]
Sacha Baron Cohen on Letterman
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrBfaUDUlt4&w=500&h=375]
Sacha Baron Cohen won the outstanding achievement to comedy at the British Comedy Awards
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcjpP6dKuS0&w=500&h=281]
Fluency MC’s Present Perfect Rap (what do you think?)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDl3T339718&w=500&h=281]