Category Archives: Ramble

245. Merry Christmas! (+ Other News) + Video!

35 Replies

This is just a chance to wish you all a Merry Christmas and to give you a bit of news. There is a video for this episode, featuring 15 minutes of extra footage which I filmed before recording the audio episode. You can watch it below. [Download audio]

Small Donate ButtonVideo – I started recording this 15 minutes before starting the podcast, so you’ll see me preparing myself to start recording, and I show you what it’s like to record a podcast in the slightly cramped (and badly lit) conditions of the ‘spacepod’ or ‘sky pod’! Unfortunately, the batteries in my camera ran out after about 30 minutes! Never mind – the audio podcast is my main focus anyway. :)

Contents of this episode
1. MEEEERY CHRISTMAS (if you celebrate it)
Click these links for previous episodes about Christmas:
160. The A to Z of Christmas
78. Christmas – It’s all about Family

2. Macmillan Competition

3. Nicknames – LEPPERS, LEPSTERS, LEPPISH, PLEPs, LEP Ninjas, LEP FC, The Cult of LEP, LEP United, LEPPARDS, LEPPANS, LEPIANS, LEPANESE, LEPLANDERS, LEPaholics… what do you think? Which nickname do you prefer? Do you need just one nickname or can we use lots of different aliases? I might do a proper survey on this to let you choose your nickname by committee.

4. Emails – I don’t get many opportunities to properly reply to your emails, and I get loads of them. I’ve tried lots of things – putting them in other folders, forwarding to other inboxes etc. The problem is, I just can’t get around to it. The reason is because I can’t really reply to you all individually. I have to just talk to you as one large group. Sorry if you have sent me an email and I haven’t replied. Really – I am very sorry and it hurts a little bit because you’ve gone out of your way. I love to receive emails but I can’t always reply. I haven’t published my email address on the website and I don’t mention it in the podcast (I used to) because I’d rather the correspondence came via teacherluke.co.uk and was public. That way I’m more likely to reply. Correspondence between me and you privately is very rare. So, if you have comments, do leave them on the website. I genuinely love reading your comments and I’m frequently impressed by what a lovely community of people I have listening to this podcast. It’s quite amazing really, so keep doing that – I’m sure I have a large silent majority out there. Most people don’t correspond with me directly. That’s fine. I never send emails to my favourite podcasters (except a text I sent to the Adam & Joe show once, which they read out!) So I understand that most of you have never commented or anything. I would like to hear from you so do get in touch. You could be a long term listener but first time commenter, or whatever. Anyway, I can’t always reply to specific requests which I get sent by email, and I do get a lot. For example, I often get emails with specific requests like giving you help for the IELTS test, asking for advice on visiting France or The UK or whatever. I would honestly love to reply fully to those mails but I can’t justify sitting down to write a full email when that time must be spent on other things.

What I would like to do is publicly read out some emails. I think this is a great way to give you a voice. If you would like to send me emails that I can reply to live on the podcast, please send your emails to podcastreply@gmail.com, that’s podcastreply@gmail.com. I will assume that if you send any email there that you’re happy for me to read it out on the podcast and reply to it orally. I can’t guarantee that all your emails there will be broadcast, but let’s try it. Send emails you’d like me to read out and respond to on LEP to podcastreply@gmail.com.

I realise there’s a forum section for questions you’ve asked me, and in fact several times I’ve attempted to record episodes in response to those forum questions and for one reason or another I had to abandon recording due to technical errors, and time issues. I’m trying to find a system for giving you a voice on the podcast at the moment. Let’s try a few ways until we get the right one. Perhaps the email inbox idea will give me just a little more discretion regarding which emails I reply to.

I am a little wary of giving you the impression that you can make requests for the podcast. One of the ways I can make this podcast work with my time schedule is to have total control over what I put out. It allows me to be flexible, determine my own schedule, motivate me by allowing me to have creative freedom and also it probably gives the podcast a distinctive and original quality. I do get requests that I’m sure would please a lot of people, but they would require a heck of a lot of preparation. Sometimes I do put a lot of time into episodes, but those are the ones I just seem to be particularly driven to produce, out of some urgent sense of creativity. Essentially, the urge to do episodes has to come from me, or they won’t really get done. So, at the end of the day I decide all of the output of the podcast, but it would be nice to feature your input too. Perhaps podcastreply@gmail.com is a good way of doing that. Send your correspondence there and I will aim to stick it into episodes of the podcast, and comment on your questions that way.

5. Lost podcasts. I’ve recorded a few episodes over the years that were not published or got lost due to a hard drive accident. You will probably never hear them and will never know what they were about…

Thank you for listening and Merry Christmas everyone!

Luke

242. 11 Idioms Only Brits Understand (really?)

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This is a slightly rambling and unprepared episode which I made up as I went along, and in the end I talked about a page I found on MatadorNetwork.com called “11 Idioms Only Brits Understand”. I don’t think that these are exclusively used by Brits, but nevertheless they are some pretty commonly used idioms, so I decided to talk to you about them in this episode. After that I ended up clicking on a few random YouTube videos, playing around with the cockney accent and listening to some music. Enjoy! [Download]

Small Donate ButtonHere’s the page from The Matador Network “11 Idioms That Only Brits Understand” (the idioms are also printed below)

The Idioms
1. Pop one’s clogs

You don’t get much more British than this. To pop one’s clogs is a euphemism for dying or death.

Example: “No one knew he was about to pop his clogs.”

2. That went down a treat

If something goes down a treat, then it was thoroughly enjoyed.

Example: “That cake went down a treat.”

3. Take the mickey

Us Brits love to make fun of and tease each other and that’s exactly what ‘taking the mickey’ means. You can also say ‘take the mick.’

Example: “Stop taking the mickey out of your brother.”

More like this 8 lies you tell yourself when you move to London
4. Itchy feet

This refers to when you want to try or do something new, such as travelling.

Example: “After two years in the job she’s got itchy feet, so she’s going to spend three months in Australia.”

5. At a loose end

If you’re at a loose end, it means you’re bored or you have nothing to do.

Example: “He’s been at a loose end ever since he retired.”

6. Another string to your bow

This means to have another skill that can help you in life, particularly with employment.

Example: “I’m learning French so I’ll have another string to my bow.”

7. As the actress said to the bishop

This is the British equivalent of ‘that’s what she said.’ It highlights a sexual reference whether it was deliberate or not.

Example: “Blimey, that’s a big one — as the actress said to the bishop.”

8. Bob’s your uncle (and fanny’s your aunt)

This phrase means that something will be successful. It is the equivalent of ‘and there you go,’ or as the French say ‘et voilà!’ Adding the ‘and fanny’s your aunt’ makes you that much more British.

Example:

A: “Where’s the Queen Elizabeth Pub?”
B: “You go down the road, take the first left and Bob’s your uncle — there it is on the corner!”
9. Cheap as chips

We love a good bargain, and when we find one we can’t help but exclaim that it’s ‘as cheap as chips.’

Example: “Only a fiver for a ticket — cheap as chips mate!”

10. Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves

This is one that our grandparents have told us our whole lives. If you take care not to waste small amounts of money, then it will accumulate into something more substantial.

11. Nosy parker

This is for all the nosy people of the world. A ‘nosy parker’ is someone who is extremely interested in other people’s lives.

Example: “Stop being such a nosy parker! They’re having a private conversation!”

Gritty Brit Flick

Top Gear Parody

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241. Film Club: Star Wars

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“Luke’s Film Club” continues with one of my all-time favourites: Star Wars! In this episode I’m going to ramble on about the Star Wars franchise, including the original trilogy (episodes 4-6), the prequel trilogy (episodes 1-3) and the upcoming new trilogy (episodes 7-9). If you’re a Star Wars fan, this one’s for you! If you don’t like Star Wars, I hope this episode will give you some idea of why people are so crazy about these movies. [Download]

Small Donate ButtonContents
In this episode I talk about these things:
– The new Star Wars Episode VII Trailer
– A history of the Star Wars films
– An overview of the storyline for the original trilogy and prequel trilogy
– Some reasons why I like the original films so much
– Some sound effects from the films!

Videos
Here’s the Episode VII Teaser Trailer

Here are some must-see video reviews of the prequel trilogy by RedLetterMedia. For me, these explain (in a very funny way) exactly what is wrong about episodes 1-3. They’re genuinely brilliant reviews, which must have taken a long time to make.



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239. Prepositions: Verb Collocations + Improvised Story

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In the last episode I attempted to explain ways that prepositions are used in English, and I failed because I wasn’t prepared. I managed to get across the idea that prepositions are complicated because they’re used in combination with other words, and that you have to remember vocabulary in ‘chunks’ but the idea was also to present you with some useful lists of preposition collocations. This time around I’ve done some more preparation. I’ve spent a bit more time on it and so for round 2 I think we should get a proper grip on the subject, while also having some fun noticing prepositions in an improvised story. [Download]

Small Donate ButtonWe all know that prepositions are one of the most difficult aspects of English grammar and vocabulary. That’s also why they’re hard to teach. They don’t conform to easy-to-teach rules, like other aspects of grammar. Instead, it’s about patterns and collocations. So, often the best way to learn these collocations is to see them as chunks of vocabulary, and try to notice them as they are used naturally. In this episode the idea is to give you a chance to do that by listening to a made-up story which includes loads of verb + preposition collocations.

Some Facts
Let me break it down in a simple way. Here are some “facts” about prepositions.
1. A preposition is always followed by a noun or something like a noun (e.g. a gerund or a noun phrase).
2. We use prepositions to talk about time, position and movement – and these are the easy ones. For example, “The cat is on the chair, the mouse is under the table, the monkey is on the branch. I’ll see you on Sunday at 3 o’clock. The train went into the station. The monkey fell out of the tree. The cat jumped off the chair.” etc etc. These are ‘easy’ because the prepositions seem to have specific meanings of their own, and they don’t change depending on which noun or verb you’re using.
3. The more difficult part is the way we use prepositions to attach nouns to other parts of the sentence. Prepositions tend to collocate with different adjectives, verbs and nouns. For example we say “He’s been accused of murder” and “I’m accustomed to the smell from the restaurant downstairs” and “This flat has really good access to the underground station”. What does collocate mean? It means that these words ‘just go together’. They’re friends. They always hang out with each other. Why? That’s the difficult thing to explain. I’d say – don’t focus on the individual meanings of prepositions. Instead focus on the way they just collocate with other words, and then learn those words together. So, don’t just learn the word “accuse” but learn the phrase “to accuse someone of something”. Don’t just learn the word “doubtful” but learn the phrase “doubtful about”, don’t just learn the word “comply” but learn the phrase “to comply with” and also the noun “compliance” and “to be in compliance with”.
4. Prepositions can be hard to hear because of the way they’re pronounced. They’re not usually the ‘meaning words’ in sentences, and so they can be pronounced using ‘weak forms’ of pronunciation (schwa sounds). Pay attention to the way prepositions are pronounced by native speakers in fluent speech.

There are 4 key points about prepositions, and also reasons why they’re tricky for learners of English.

Sorry.

Really, I am sorry. This makes life much more difficult for you, but you must get used to it right here and now. Accept that you’re now learning phrases, and once you’ve accepted that, every step you’ll take from now on will be in the right direction.

So, it’s these preposition collocations which are the tricky things. Learners of English struggle to know which preposition to use in the right moments. Sometimes these are influenced by the first language. For example, many French people say “It depends of…” e.g. “It depends of the cost” and of course it should be “it depends on the cost”. Watch out for the L1 influence.

What can you do?
– When you’re learning words – don’t learn them in isolation. See how they connect with other words in a sentence. Remember the prepositions that go with them. This will actually help you to become more fluent as prepositions are good transition words. They help you turn individual words into phrases, and those phrases into full sentences.
– Notice when you listen. Just pay attention to the preposition collocations you hear.
– Listen a lot and read a lot. Eventually, a lot of the most common preposition collocations will just go into your subconscious after being exposed to them so many times. After a while you’ll develop an instinct for the right collocation.
– Check out some lists to help you. You could test yourself by looking at some collocation lists (e.g. on this page). Cover the preposition and then try to remember it. Say it out loud. Check your answer. Say the phrase (it’s important that it passes through your mouth, and across your lips). Make full sentences, in different tenses in order to practise.
– Listen to Luke’s English Podcast (of course!)

Let me explain my approach for this episode of the podcast.
In this episode I’m planning to do this:
– I’ve prepared fairly long lists of common collocations with prepositions. Verb + prep, adjective + prep and noun + prep lists. You can check them out on the webpage if you like. Those lists are really useful in themselves. So this is already a really useful resource.
– I’m not just going to read out the lists. That would be boring and not that useful.
– I’m going to try and just make up some kind of story – completely improvise it – and use as many of the preposition collocations as I can. Try to notice them. You could go through the list and kind of ‘tick’ them off as you hear them, or try to notice them without the list.
– Bear in mind that the story is completely made up. The main thing is I want to keep it fun and interesting, while also presenting some language to you.
– There are 3 lists. They’re all quite long. I don’t know how much I can achieve in one episode. I might end up dividing this into three stories. One for verb + prep collocations, one for adj + prep and one for noun + prep. We’ll see.
– When I’ve finished I’ll go through the lists, and I’ll give you a chance to test yourselves.
– Then you can revise by testing yourselves using the lists, you can write your own stories using the prepositions and vocabulary, or you could record yourself reading or improvising a story. Don’t worry if you can’t improvise. That’s a different thing altogether. You should try to produce meaningful sentences using these phrases though. It’ll help you to remember them. Try to make your sentences personalised and very vivid – that’ll help you remember them all.
– You’ll also be picking up vocabulary here from the verbs, adjectives and nouns that collocate with all these prepositions. Just google them or look them up in a dictionary if you don’t know what they mean. I’m not explaining word meanings here, just presenting language.

That’s it!

Verb + Preposition
Let’s go with the first story.oldbaileycourt-room
*Start by opening your eyes – you’re standing in a courtroom. You ask the lawyer what’s going on. You’ve been accused of stealing a biscuit. You’ve got no idea what happened. Then the judge comes in…*

accuse (someone) of ([doing] something)
add (something) to (something else)
admire (someone) for ([doing] something)
agree on (topic)
agree with (someone)
apologise to (someone) for ([doing] something)
apply to (a place) for (something)
approve of (something)
argue with (someone) about (topic)
arrive at (a building, room, site, event)
arrive in (a city, country)
ask (someone) about (someone/topic)
ask (someone) for (something)
believe in (something)
belong to (someone)
blame (someone) for ([doing] something)
borrow (something) from (someone)
care about (someone/something/topic)
comment on (topic)
compare (something) to/with (something else)
complain to (someone) about (something)
concentrate on ([doing] something)
congratulate (someone) for/on ([doing] something)
consist of (some things)
consent to ([doing] something)
contribute to (something)
count on (someone) to (do something)
cover (something) with (something else)
decide on (topic)
depend on (someone) for (something)
discuss (something) with (someone)
distinguish (something) from (something else)
dream about/of (someone/something)
escape from (somewhere)
explain (topic) to (someone)
excuse (someone) for ([doing] something)
forgive (someone for ([doing] something)
get rid of (something)
graduate from (a place)
happen to (someone)
help (someone) with (something)
hide (something) from (someone)
insist (up)on (something)
introduce (someone) to (someone else)
invite (someone) to (an event)
keep (something) for (someone)
matter to (someone)
object to (something)
participate in (something)
pay (price) for (something)
plan on ([doing] something)
pray for (someone/something)
prefer (something) to (something else)
prevent (someone) from ([doing] something)
prohibit (someone) from ([doing] something)
protect (someone) from (something)
provide (someone) with (something)
recover from (something)
rely (up)on (someone/something)
remind (someone) of (something)
rescue (someone) from (something)
respond to (someone/something)
save (someone) from (something)
search for (something)
separate (something) from (something else)
scold (someone) for ([doing] something)
smile at (someone) for ([doing] something)
speak to/with (someone) about (topic)
stare at (something/someone)
stop (someone) from ([doing] something)
subscribe to (something)
substitute (something) for (something else/someone)
subtract (something) from (something else)
succeed in ([doing] something)
suffer from (something)
take advantage of (someone/something/ situation)
take care of (something/someone)
talk to/with (someone) about (topic)
thank (someone) for ([doing] something)
travel to (somewhere)
vote for (someone)
vouch for (someone)
wait for (someone/something)
wish for (something)
work for (company/something/someone)

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227. Sausages, Barcodes & Apple Watches (A Rambling Episode)

39 Replies

This is one of those episodes in which I set myself a 30 minute challenge. Can I talk for 30 minutes without pausing or repeating myself, and with absolutely nothing prepared in advance? Listen to the episode to find out. [Download]

Small Donate ButtonI’ve done this kind of episode before, for example on the Ice Cream Episode, in which I rambled on about whatever came into my head until eventually I ended up talking about how I wish everyone in the world could stop fighting and share some ice-cream instead (you may say I’m a dreamer – but I’m not the only one). That’s why I called it The Ice-Cream Episode.

This one is called “Sausages, Barcodes & Apple Watches” and you don’t have to be a genius to work out what came into my head while recording this episode. As well as these subjects I also touched upon the topics of: Evil cheese, a religion based on the hatred of pizza, and more…

Let me remind you again that this whole episode was recorded in a completely unplanned way, and my only conditions were that I had to just keep going without pausing, even when I had no idea what to say next, and that I wasn’t allowed to repeat myself at all. I came really close to failing this (admittedly pointless) task. In fact, maybe I did fail it. Ultimately, you the listener can decide if I failed or passed my mission.

The Missing Two Minutes of This Episode
About 2 minutes of this episode have been edited out because some members of my audience found the content to be offensive. Usually I don’t believe my episodes should be edited for causing offence, but in this case I’ve made an exception. If you’re wondering what I said, basically I expressed some scepticism regarding the fact that pork is banned in some religions. The last thing I want is to attract scorn from any religious groups. I don’t want to offend, and I don’t want to deal with the repercussions. So, in this instance I opted to edit out those 2 minutes.

What do you think? Did I fail this task? Does it really matter anyway?
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226. On a Boat (with Moz, Alex and Paul)

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aka “The Boat that Rocked” or “The Drunk Episode 2”. In this episode I spent the evening on a narrowboat on a canal in a part of North London known as Little Venice, with my friends Alex, Paul, Moz and Dave. Join us as we talk about life on a canal boat in London, the first jobs we ever had, answers to a few questions sent in by a long-term listener called Hiroshi, and explanations of various rude expressions and jokes which came up spontaneously during the conversation. Please be aware that this episode contains strong language, rude & explicit content and plenty of bad jokes. Right-click here to download.

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Introduction Transcript

Hello, this is a special introduction to this episode of Luke’s English Podcast.

Before you listen to the recording in this episode I would just like to warn you that this one contains material which you might find offensive, confusing or just plain stupid, including: failed attempts at humour, bad jokes, vague sexual innuendo, rude words, swearing, references to body parts, disgusting sound effects and general behaviour which would definitely be inappropriate in polite company. The conversation that you’re going to hear in this episode was recorded privately with friends, in a very informal setting. It is not suitable for children. It’s not really suitable for intelligent adults either to be honest. I present it here with great reservation, against my better judgement and with the understanding that some of you may find it purile, unamusing, difficult to understand, offensive or just plain unnecessary, and that publishing this episode may cause you to abandon Luke’s English Podcast, throw your phone into a lake, or even spit onto the ground in pure disgust.

However, despite my reservations to that effect, I also realise there is probably a certain section of my audience who love a bit of filth, and who would like nothing better than to listen in on a conversation between some English friends amusing themselves by talking ‘crap’ together over a few beers. In fact, I publish this conversation with those members of my audience in mind. Are you bored of listening to ‘safe’ English which has had all the rudeness removed from it? Are you fed up with being taught only the ‘nice’ English which you are supposed to speak, but which you suspect no native speakers actually use in their private lives? Do you ever have the lingering feeling that native English speakers present a ‘clean’ version of their language to you in lessons, but in private they speak a rather different form of the language – one that involves plenty of inappropriate and immature dirty jokes? Would you like to have the chance to sit with some Londoners on a canal boat while they drink beer and talk nonsense, without regard for the normal polite conventions of a language classroom or a business meeting? Well, if that’s what you want, then all you have to do is keep listening to this episode of Luke’s English Podcast which was recorded several weeks ago on a canal boat in North London, with a group of slightly drunk idiots. Idiots who I am proud to call my friends, and the group which I happily consider myself a member. Welcome to Luke’s English Podcast…

Vocabulary List & Extracts  (thanks to Jack from the comment section)

Vague
Innuendo
Against my better judgement
Some of you may find it puerile
However, despite my reservations to that effect……
Who would like nothing better than to listen in on a conversation……
I’ve done episodes in an apartment.
I’m doing an episode on a boat.
A canal narrow boat.
How do you want me to elaborate?
I’ve taken up running
Just jogging around a lake.
Just purely pragmatic.
The water levels have receded.
We now know exactly what Paul intended to do when he left the boat.
I suppose it’s a good thing he did leave.
The thing about a fart is that it comes from two angles, it’s like a double punch!
If you farted continuously for 6 years and 9 months you’d produce enough energy to create an atomic bomb!
I speak for the listeners as well.
Dave’s boat is moored.
A bollard.
We are getting more and more suggestive.
Innuendo
You are ducking the question.
Are we going to explain euphemisms?
English is a non inflicted Indo-European language.
That was frank and clear language.
It goes down into a sewer.
Anyone who has turned up on a boat….
I’m not so tight.
I’m of Irish stock.
You are in safe hands now.
You all are my bitches (extremely rude, meaning : I own all of you)
The boat just rocked.
Mr. Langton came down from the gunnels onto the bow and he’s coming into the cabin and that rocked the cabin quite heavily to the right. (17:00)
Tsunami
I’m a posh brummie
I’m a scumbag.
You are a proper brummie.
No-one nicked me (my) car!
I’m quite cultured.
Another example of a euphemism
Loaded with euphemisms.
He hasn’t got hairy feet.
Because I can see he has got Stroud T-shirt on. (21:17)
I bet you could drive a tractor.
I’m not babbling like a baby.
We are thundering into a forest now.
You’ve to keep rowing. (25:00)
Curtains are the things you put over a window to keep the light out.
It’s a fireplace.
Give us a sales pitch for this boat.
Prime sales pitch
This is a very tidy boat indeed.
The proud owner doesn’t know because he has had it for that long.
Lovely tiled fireplace.
Wicker basket.
They are particularly nice.
The last time you were on this podcast….
I bought a flat in London for £215,000 which is a rip off.
…..I own a 50 foot boat which is wood panelled……
Canal stretches through large parts of London.
The great thing about London is that : If you have got a canal boat you can kind of live where ever you want to live as long as you are there for like 14 days and then there is a stipulation that you have got to move on.
I’m moving myself across London kind of like itinerant but with like a big boat.
How does it feel to be cut off like this?
You can’t avoid knowing who Barack Obama is!
I’ve kind of lost the thread here….
I haven’t had my telly on since the last Top Gear.
I walked past the BBC this week…..
If you see your news of what’s going on from other places – I think you are better off.
Cargo containing boat.
And people got whiplash.
This news has been covered in London.
Moorhen, wader, swans.
There was a Turkish man who beheaded a swan.
Mute swans.
Grunting noise.
When they take off.
There’s always someone who pipes up……
Just go to the door, onto the back…..(of the boat)
In a perpetual state of……
Walrus, seal.
You are like a windscreen wiper on a car, sprays out…….
I expect that my listeners are not able to pick up on every little rude joke.
Paul or Dave says : Luke spawns like a blue whale.
……Very rude, very unsophisticated but this the way to let off some steam.
Bespoke specially designed questions for you.
Curve ball
You could do with a little bit of grooming.
Liverpudlian
Luke is a man of refinery when it comes to accents.
Radio conditions please.
He said something that was derogatory in nature.
Don’t dwell on it…..
The BBC is slowly being dismantled.
A chemistry assistant
A shoe shine boy.
They paid me in liquorice, hard liquourice.
A local rag (local newspaper)
Broadsheets, tabloids.
I bet you had to ride a long distance because it was in the countryside.
You’ve definitely got something important to bring to the table.
I was working as a shelf stacker.
Tin foods
Tuna
Can I make an interesting observation here?
I worked for the BBC in compliance.
Index finger
I used to edit out programs.
Parapets
Dave has just come back into the room he went out to get a couple of bottles of local beer.
It could well be…..
We need to draw things to a close
And we’ve got to think what we are going to put out there for you.
We’ve achieved less than nothing.
I’m little bit more coherent this time.
I need to wind down the podcast now.
Paul Langton : I appreciate you for listening to the podcast (Luke screams : LUKE’S ENGLISH PODCAST)
I’m just cocker hoop about every thing.
I would like to thank Hiroshi for providing such insightful questions.
On that bombshell it’s time to end the podcast.
Everyone is looking a bit sheepish.

Moz : Luke was coming over from France and I offered him a place on the boat to say but unfortunately Luke Johnson likes to take 15 showers a week minimum.

Paul : Does he need them?

Moz: Well actually, if you look at Luke that’s not his real skin that’s actually…. His skin’s stripped off – That is a wet suit. And basically he kind of lives in a perpetual state of moisture.

Luke: that’s very interesting assessment there that you have presented for me Moz. Which could quite possibly be on the internet for ever now; for every one to access. If they want to find out all about me they could listen to this and they would listen to your description. Someone might write that in fact as a transcript. Someone might be listening to this and transcribing every word and they are gonna write that down.

Dave: Genesis had a track called The Slipper Man, which I’m picturing now. I always thought about slipper man as somebody wet skinned like a walrus or a seal.

Luke: Really? So you are saying I’m a walrus or a seal!

Alex: Or you might be the eggman.

 

223. YEP! Competition Winners

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YEP Competition Results, news and some rambling about mosquitoes and TV documentaries about ghosts. Right-click here to download.

Small Donate ButtonWelcome back to Luke’s English Podcast. Over the course of this episode you are going to find out the results of the YEP Competition which I launched this summer.

In case you’ve forgotten the details, or you’ve been living under a rock for the last two months, here is a re-cap of has happened so far in the competition. I launched it in August as a way to celebrate the 5th birthday and 200 episodes of LEP. I thought – it’s time for another competition! So I did a bit of planning and scheming, and came up with the idea of “Your English Podcast”, which I launched in episode 200. I invited listeners to send me up to 5 minutes of audio, as if they were recording a portion of their own English podcast. I had no idea how many people would enter but in the end I got about 80 recordings. Then I realised, “oh my goodness, that’s about 8 hours of podcast time! What am I going to do?” In the end I just broadcast them all, in a mini-series entitled Your English Podcast. If you’ve managed to listen to them all you’ll have heard people from around the world telling us about themselves. There was a range of different voices from different parts of the globe and personally I found it quite inspiring and even touching to listen to. Admittedly it was quite a long series and you may have struggled to keep up with it all. In fact, you might have just skipped them entirely – that’s your choice, it’s a free country (depending on which country you’re in) but when it comes to LEP you’re free to do whatever you want and that includes skipping over the YEP episodes if you choose to, although I hope that you didn’t do that because I think there’s plenty of value in hearing non-native speakers speaking English from time to time, and anyway, it was an international celebration! After uploading all the competition entries my website exploded with comments & votes, which suggests that the competition was a bit of a hit with most people. Voting ended at the end of last month, leaving me with a bit of counting to do. I’ve done that, and now it’s time to publish the results, and that’s what you’re going to get in this episode.
– Winners of each group
– The numbers of votes cast
– The overall winner of the whole competition
– What’s going to happen next?
– Some general news

The first thing I’d like to say is that everyone’s a winner.
I know this is a competition, and therefore there have to be winners and losers, but for me it’s like cricket – it’s not the winning, it’s the taking part, and I think everyone took part magnificently.
Well done for plucking up the courage to enter in the first place.
I’m really impressed by everyone and it’s actually really touching to hear from you all. It brings home to me the fact there are loads of actual human beings listening to my words, and engaging with my episodes.
I’m also really impressed by the number of votes cast. 666 votes in total! (This means absolutely nothing) That’s an average of about 85 votes per episode.

Here are the results for each group (in ascending order):
Episode 1
9th place: Arturo from Mexico & Ashish from India – 0 votes – Chin up guys ;)
7th place: Artur from Kazakstan & Alexis from Canary Islands – 1 vote
6th place: Adam from Poland – 4 votes
5th place: Bella from Russia – 5 votes
4th place: Bruno from Brazil – 10 votes
3rd place: Alexander from Russia – 21 votes
2nd place: Anna from Ukraine – 24 votes
1ST PLACE: ARITZ FROM SPAIN – 26 VOTES – Congratulations Aritz!

listen to ‘Aritz from Spain – YEP! Competition Entry’ on audioBoom

Episode 2
9th place: Dega from Mexico & Eliza from Finland – 0 votes – No worries Dega, and Eliza wasn’t taking part anyway so no hard feelings ;)
7th place: Dmitry from Russia & Charley from Sri Lanka – 1 vote
6th place: Daniel from Poland – 2 votes
5th place: Chriss from Mexico – 3 votes
3rd place: Daniele from Italy & Dharmendra from India – 5 votes
2nd place: Edgar from Brazil – 6 votes
1ST PLACE: EDGAR FROM MEXICO – 100 votes – It’s a landslide victory!

listen to ‘Edgar from Mexico – YEP! Competition Entry’ on audioBoom

Episode 3
8th place: Enrique from Spain, Gerald from France/Belgium & Gudu from Ethiopia – 0 votes – commiserations guys!
6th place: Evgeny from Russia & Gabriella from Italy – 1 vote each
5th place: Gabriela from Brazil – 5 votes
4th place: Eugenia from Romania – 7 votes
3rd place: Gabor from Hungary – 9 votes
2nd place: Guillaume from Switzerland – 10 votes
1ST PLACE: GIOVANNI FROM ITALY – 33 votes – congratulations!

listen to ‘Giovanni from Italy – YEP! Competition Entry’ on audioBoom

Episode 4
10th place: Irul from Indonesia – 0 votes – You’re still awesome Irul!
8th place: Harvey from Colombia & Hydy from India – 1 vote each
6th place: Hien from Vietnam & Irina from Russia – 3 votes each
4th place: Hiroshi from Japan & Ivan from Russia – 4 votes each
3rd place: Ivan from Indonesia – 20 votes
2nd place: Hamid from Pakistan – 26 votes
1ST PLACE: JAVIER FROM SPAIN – 35 votes – Well done!

listen to ‘Javier from Spain (+kids) – YEP! Competition Entry’ on audioBoom

Episode 5
10th place: Jiang from China – 0 votes – sorry mate!
9th place: June from Korea – 2 votes
7th place: Jose from Chile & Krissy from Germany – 3 votes
6th place: Luciana from Brazil – 4 votes
5th place: Klenisson from Brazil – 5 votes
4th place: Konstantin from Russia – 7 votes
3rd place: Lulu from Taiwan – 8 votes
2nd place: Ksenia from Russia – 11 votes
1ST PLACE: KEVSER FROM TURKEY – 32 votes – well done, you smashed it!

listen to ‘Kevser from Turkey’ on audioBoom

Episode 6
9th place: Olga from Russia & Pavel from Russia – 0 votes – don’t let it bring you down!
8th place: Morela from Italy – 1 vote
6th place: Mario from Italy & Nacho from Spain – 3 votes
5th place: Magda from Poland – 4 votes
4th place: Pedro from Peru – 8 votes
3rd place: Nikolai from Russia – 13 votes
2nd place: Oleksander from Ukraine/Denmark – 21 votes
1ST PLACE: MAX FROM ITALY – 38 – give yourself a pat on the back!

listen to ‘Max from Italy’ on audioBoom

Episode 7
9th place: Poom from Thailand & Shaimaa from Egypt – 0 votes – better luck next time guys!
8th place: Terry from Hong Kong – 1 vote
6th place: Tomas from Germany & Renata from Russia – 2 votes each [Renata from Russia – I’m so sorry for not mentioning your name in this episode! Please forgive me!]
5th place: Renato from Brazil – 4 votes
4th place: Ventakesh from India – 5 votes
3rd place: Sergey from Russia – 7 votes
2nd place: Sasha from Russia – 26 votes
1ST PLACE: PHIL FROM ITALY – 42 votes – it’s a runaway victory!

listen to ‘Phil from Italy’ on audioBoom

Episode 8
5th place: Yuri from Brazil – 3 votes
4th place: Wilkson from Brazil – 4 votes
3rd place: Yaron from Israel – 6 votes
2nd place: Yayang from Indonesia – 12 votes
1ST PLACE: YANNICK FROM SWITZERLAND – 13 votes – Congrat-YOU-lations!

listen to ‘Yannick from Switzerland’ on audioBoom

Let’s not forget: Zdenek from Czech Rep. (not competing) and Alex from Russia – 2 votes (but he was too late I’m afraid)

WINNERS’ GROUP
8th place: Yannick from Switzerland – 13 votes
7th place: Aritz from Spain – 26 votes
6th place: Kevser from Turkey – 32 votes
5th place: Giovanni from Italy – 33 votes
4th place: Javier from Spain – 35 votes
3rd place: Max from Italy – 38 votes
2nd place: Phil from Italy – 42 votes
1ST PLACE: EDGAR FROM MEXICO – 100 votes

What’s the Next Step?
I’ll speak to each runner-up for up to 10 minutes.
The winner gets up to 30 minutes.
Winners – I’ll contact you by email to arrange a time for a conversation.
Eventually, when I’ve recorded all the conversations I’ll publish them in a couple of episodes.
So – winners, check your inboxes and start thinking about things you might like to say to the people of the world.
Listeners – feel free to write questions in comments. I’ll be glad to ask your questions to our winners.

Remember – it’s not really about winning or losing. Everyone’s a winner in my book!

My Dad listened to the competition episodes and he was quite moved by it! I’m quite proud because he sent me this email.

A Message from my Dad:

Dear Luke,

I have just spent the past hour listening to your latest episode of YEP, featuring contributions from listeners from Brazil, Switzerland, Russia, Indonesia etc. It is truly INCREDIBLE that you have created this international community. Yes it’s a fan club, but it is much more than that. The listeners clearly use it as an English learning resource, and the idea of entertaining while educating works well. But it is also an international society, where peace and understanding is a theme.

I think your podcasts – 5 years on – are really terrific, and I hope that your two jobs and everything else will not prevent you from keeping the service going. Well done you!!

Dad

That’s nice, isn’t it. It’s always quite satisfying to get some validation from your old man. (By the way – in case you were wondering, it’s quite normal for a son to call his father his “old man” and it’s not an insult – in fact, it’s quite a familiar and informal way to refer to your Dad)

Possible Controversy
There might be a little bit of controversy following the release of these results. There normally is a bit of disagreement related to this kind of thing, and it’s to be expected. Here are some of the things I expect might arise:
– Someone might demand a recount. If you believe I’ve miscounted the votes, then feel free to count all the votes again if you’ve got the time! Then you can leave a message with an appeal for a recount. It may be possible that I’ve miscounted by one vote here or there, so I don’t think it will make a huge difference to the final results.
–
If you would like to appeal and demand a re-count, go ahead!
I will take any controversy with a pinch of salt.

In Other News
The academic year has started again and I have rather a busy schedule. In fact, I should be planning my classes now, not doing this. I’ve got kids classes and everything. I’m a bit stressed about this. I shouldn’t be, but I just keep remembering my stressful experiences teaching children in Japan, but that was over 10 years ago at the beginning of my career. Anyway, one thing’s for sure, I’m going to be even busier this year.
This may affect the frequency with which I can upload episodes, which is a bit frustrating. Of course, I have loads of ideas up my sleeve and I do not plan to stop. If I go a bit quiet – you’ll know why. I’m just dealing with a workload. Oh yes, and I’ve got a wedding to prepare in July as well!

I got bitten by a mosquito two nights running. That was annoying. What happens to mosquitoes in the winter? Click here for the answer to that question: Mosquitoes in the Cold. (Thank you to LEPPER Fafi Gutierrez)

Audioboo has become Audioboom. As far as I can see it’s just an image makeover, with a new logo, but the actual service is pretty much the same with a few small improvements. They have a new app on the App Store. At the moment it’s just for iPhone. It’s a much better app than before, but I haven’t used it much. Anyway, I’ll now be calling it Audioboom not Audioboo.

There’s an issue with my RSS feed. They have a limit of 200 items. I have more than that. So, on iTunes some of the early episodes do not show up, which is annoying. If you’re new to the podcast – go to teacherluke.co.uk to find a full archive of all the older episodes.

The podcast has been listened to over 2,000,000 times since I moved to Audioboom about 10 months ago.
That seems incredible – but let’s consider that number at bit more carefully.
I have over 200 episodes on Audioboom, so on average that’s about 10,000 listens per episode. It’s not that many listens compared to some teachers on YouTube. Perhaps I should be on YouTube, because there’s a much bigger audience there. But, this is an audio podcast, not a video one. I’ve said before that I prefer audio, at the moment. Audio is more flexible – you can listen to it anywhere, even while you’re doing something else. It’s quite intimate and I feel like it’s good for the brain because it allows you to picture in your mind’s eye what I’m explaining, without being captivated by visual stimulus. Also, I love radio and I feel there’s a certain romance and intimacy in radio. Also, it is much easier and less time-consuming for me to make audio podcasts. So, with a busy schedule – audio is the best way. For now, those YouTube teachers will get more views than me, but here I am, rocking the airwaves, doing my thing on the podcast, with my awesome clan of listeners. And, 2m listens in a year is really rather a big deal. As I’ve said before though, I feel like this is just the beginning of what I can achieve. I intend to do more with this thing I’ve got going on here.

Going back to that 2m listens statistic – the other thing that I don’t know is how many of those are people who are fully engaged from the start to the end of each episode. I expect there are a lot of people who are subscribed to me on iTunes, and their computer downloads the episodes automatically, but they’re not actually listening. Those will still count as ‘listens’ in my stats. Also, some of those numbers will be people who listen a little bit before deciding that they don’t want to listen any more. So, I don’t know how many are complete listens and incomplete listens.

Well, those of you who listen to every episode from start to finish – you know who you are. You’re the LEPPERS, and you’re an awesome gang of ninjas, who abide by the code of LEP. I don’t know what that code is to be honest, because I’ve never written it down. I think it’s an unspoken code of secret principles based on a love of ice-cream, English, stand-up comedy and dub reggae. Something like that.

You can’t please all the people all the time, so sometimes the only person I can please is myself. As long as I’m happy doing this then I’ll have a sense that my audience can be happy with it too.

Small Donate ButtonThank you for taking part in this competition. It’s been amazing. Thank you for your entries, for all your votes, and for your support. Thank you in particular if you have recently donated to the podcast. You are personally keeping this podcast going. Without donations I can’t justify doing it. 5 years of my life have gone into this. It would be awful if I realise one day that the whole thing has been a waste of my time and I’ve neglected my career or other aspects of my life because I’ve thrown so much energy into LEP. Do help to prevent that from happening by offering a donation to pay me back for my hard work. As a business model, that’s the best I can do right now. If you don’t want to do that, or can’t – no worries! There’s no obligation, but do consider where all this stuff is coming from – a lot of the time that’s the bottom of my heart.

Ok, that’s enough of that!

BE EXCELLENT TO ONE ANOTHER AND PARTY ON!!!

222. Luke’s Late Night Podcast (Music Mix)

23 Replies

Take a musical trip through Luke’s hard-drive, in the middle of the night. Right-click here to download this episode.

Small Donate ButtonLate one night recently, I decided to record a podcast while randomly picking some pieces of music from my hard-drive and talking to you at the same time. This is the result.

There’s no language agenda in this episode in particular. It’s just me talking to you about various things while interspersing the episode with some music and other bits and pieces from my hard-drive.

Any music or other content in this episode is presented for educational purposes as part of my effort to aid people in their learning of English and culture.

Below you can read lyrics of some songs from this episode if you’d like to read to check your listening comprehension or pick up vocabulary.

Thanks for listening.

p.s. Competition Update: Voting closes this evening, and then I will count votes and eventually publish an episode with the names of the winner(s). Thanks for voting!

Song Lyrics

Arctic Monkeys – “Mardy Bum”
Buy “Mardy Bum” on iTunes here.
Well, now then Mardy Bum
I’ve seen your frown
And it’s like looking down the barrel of a gun
And it goes off
And out come all these words
Oh there’s a very pleasant side to you
A side I much prefer

It’s one that laughs and jokes around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it’s right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you’re all argumentative
And you’ve got that face on

Well, now then Mardy Bum
Oh I’m in trouble again, aren’t I?
I thought as much
‘Cause you turned over there
Pulling that silent disappointment face
The one that I can’t bear

Well, can’t we just laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it’s right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you’re all argumentative
And you’ve got that face on

Yeah I’m sorry I was late
But I missed the train
And then the traffic was a state
And I can’t be arsed to carry on in this debate
That reoccurs, oh when you say I don’t care
But of course I do, yeah I clearly do!

So laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it’s right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you’re all argumentative
And you’ve got that face on

Black Sabbath – “The Wizard”
Buy “The Wizard on iTunes here.
Misty morning, clouds in the sky
Without warning, the wizard walks by
Casting his shadow, weaving his spell
Funny clothes, tinkling bell

Never talking
Just keeps walking
spreading his magic

Evil power disappears
Demons worry when the wizard is near
He turns tears into joy
Everyone’s happy when the wizard walks by

Never talking
Just keeps walking
spreading his magic

Sun is shining, clouds have gone by
All the people give a happy sigh
He has passed by, giving his sign
Left all the people feeling so fine

Never talking
Just keeps walking
spreading his magic

Charles Bukowski – “The Life of the King”
Unfortunately I can’t find the lyrics to this, but here is a video featuring Bukowski reading his poem “The Life of the King”, if you’d like to listen to it again.

Curtis Mayfield – “Pusherman”
Buy “Pusherman” in iTunes here.
I’m your mama, I’m your daddy,
I’m that nigga in the alley.
I’m your doctor when in need.
Want some coke? Have some weed.
You know me, I’m your friend,
Your main boy, thick and thin.
I’m your pusherman.

Ain’t I clean, bad machine
Super cool, super mean
Dealin’ good, for The Man.
Superfly, here I stand.
Secret stash, heavy bread,
Baddest bitches in the bed,
I’m your pusherman

Silent life of crime
A man of odd circumstance,
A victim of ghetto demands.
Feed me money for style
And I’ll let you trip for a while.
Insecure from the past,
How long can a good thing last?
No, no, no

Got to be mellow, y’all
Got to get mellow, now
Pusherman gettin’ mellow, y’all

Heavy mind, every sign
Makin’ money all the time
My LD and just me
For all junkies to see
Ghetto Prince is my thing
Makin’ love’s how I swing
I’m your pusherman

Two bags, please
For a generous fee
Make your world what you want it to be
Got a woman I love desperately
Wanna give her somethin’ better than me
Been told I can’t be nuthin’ else
Just a hustler in spite of myself
I know I can break it
This life just don’t make it
Lord, Lord, yeah

Got to get mellow, now
Gotta be mellow, y’all
Got to get mellow, now

I’m your mama, I’m your daddy,
I’m that nigga in the alley.
I’m your doctor when in need.
Want some coke? Have some weed.
You know me, I’m your friend,
Your main boy, thick and thin.
I’m your pusherman.
I’m your pusherman.
I’m your pusherman.
I’m your pusherman.
Lord, Lord

Victor Wooten – “Music as a Language” Click here for a version with subtitles.

206. Summer in London (Part 2)

7 Replies

Hi and welcome back to this special episode of LEP in which you join me on a walk through central London. [Download]

Small Donate ButtonLet’s re-cap on what happened in part 1. (ooh the excitement)
– I recorded this last week when I was on holiday staying at a friend’s flat in Stockwell
– I needed to go into town to visit the doctor’s for a couple of immunisation injections before going on holiday to Indonesia
– I decided to take a nice walking route to the doctors, from Victoria Underground Station, in front of Buckingham Palace, past some Royal Guards and a guy selling skunk, past some ducks, joggers & tourists, across the mall and up towards Picadilly Circus.
– We ended part one with me walking up Haymarket, towards Picadilly Circus in order to get some lunch & coffee in Soho before heading towards Wimpole Street near Oxford Circus for my jabs.
– As I said on the previous episode, London is a very noisy city so I really apologise for any background noise which makes it hard for you to hear what I’m saying. I hope you it doesn’t stop you from enjoying this trip through central London on a hot summer day.

In this episode I’ll take you through some touristy areas, some cool spots, and we’ll also investigate some of the more seedy parts of central London that you might not notice as a tourist.

Let’s go!

Music: “Day on the Town” by Madness. Click here to download it on iTunes.
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205. Summer in London (Part 1)

17 Replies

Hello everyone! Welcome to another episode. This one was recorded last week when I was on holiday in London, and in this episode you can listen to me walking through central London and talking to you along the way. I really enjoyed recording this episode and I think you’re going to enjoy listening to it too because it’ll be like you’re actually there with me, strolling around some of my favourite parts of town, hearing all the sounds of London around you as we go. I think it’s going to be great, but before we start I’d just like to mention a couple of things as a preface to the episode. [Right-click here to download]

Small Donate ButtonLondon can be a noisy place and so, unfortunately, a lot of the recording I made on this day was not completely clear enough to broadcast because my voice got a bit drowned out by atmospheric noise. You might find that some of it is a little bit difficult to hear, and in fact I had to completely edit out large sections of the episode because the noise level was just too high. When I listened back to some of it, I was quite annoyed to discover that the sound of busses, cars, trains and wind made it quite difficult to hear my voice clearly. I’ve managed to edit out some of the bad bits, and explain the missing content by talking to you here in post-production, but some of the remaining parts might still be a little difficult to hear. If you do find some of this too noisy to listen to then I’m sorry and I understand, but I still hope it’s possible for you to follow almost all of what I’m saying.

I really wanted to upload this episode despite the noise. I think it will be quite an interesting one, as you can take a personal trip with me through some of my favourite parts of central London and I expect that most of you are probably not bothered by the noise and are happy to join my on a walk. I love London and I’m proud to present it to you, even in audio form, and I think this episode can give you quite a real feeling of actually being there with me. It would be a pity to waste the several hours of talking that I recorded just because some people would not tolerate the noise. So, I’ve decided to just upload it anyway, even if the audio quality is not perfect.

I know what most of you are thinking – it’s fine Luke, it doesn’t matter! Don’t worry about it! I appreciate that. But for those of you who are sensitive to a bit of background noise I just want to say – I know this episode is a bit noisy – but that’s just London for you! It’s a noisy place! I suggest you write a letter to London’s mayor Boris Johnson to complain!

“Dear Mr Johnson,

Recently while listening to an award-winning podcast by Luke Thompson (I’m sure you know it) I was saddened to discover that parts of the episode were inaudible due to frankly unacceptable levels of noise caused by London’s busses and traffic. So, I am writing this letter in order to complain about this matter, and suggest in the strongest possible terms that you do something about it! Maybe introduce a noise-tax, or simply ban busses and taxis from operating within central London. I appreciate that businesses and services need to operate with vehicles, but this simply cannot be allowed to interrupt our enjoyment of Luke’s English Podcast.

Yours sincerely,

L.E. Pepper
The Republic of Freedonia”

OK, I realise I’m going a bit too far, it’s not that big an issue really. In fact, you could say I’m “making a mountain out of a molehill” or “stretching it out of all proportion”. I’m “going overboard”… yes it’s all a bit “over the top” now isn’t it. Alright, that’s enough, I don’t want to “over egg the pudding” by talking about noise levels too much, so it’s time to get on with this episode, so join me now as we go back in time, all the way to last week, on a trip into central London…

Music: “London Town” by Light of the World – Download it from iTunes here.

First gap:
So, I left the flat in bright, warm sunshine and walked towards the tube station, crossing the street at a busy junction in Stockwell, near Brixton, just south of the river. Some people say it’s quite a rough area, I personally think it’s okay. In fact at that time of day there were a couple of homeless people around, an alcoholic-looking guy stumbled out of a betting shop, but generally the area’s okay. In fact, it’s got good transport connections to central London and the rent is not too high. So I crossed the street and walked to Stockwell Underground Station and I stopped to look at a mural on the wall of the station. It’s the picture of Jean Charles De Menezes, a Brazilian man who was tragically and wrongfully killed by police who thought he was a terrorist, back in 2005…

2nd gap:
I left Victoria Station and walked along Buckingham Palace road. Along that road there is a wall, and on the other side of the wall is the garden of Buckingham Palace. You can’t get in there, so you just have to wonder what it looks like. I imagine it’s a beautiful and well kept garden. There are parks in front of the palace – St James’s Park and Green Park and of course the public are allowed to go everywhere they want in those parks, and walk or like down on the grass. There’s a pond with ducks, swans, geese and even pelicans which are large birds that you normally find near the sea – they have huge beaks that can carry loads of fish. A while ago there was a video going around on YouTube of a pelican actually eating a pigeon in St James’ Park!

I walked along Buckingham Palace road next to the palace gardens, as I said, and that’s next to a busy main road, and the noise was a bit too much. I talked about what it must be like being the Queen (I expect it’s a lot of hard work actually, it might be a bit lonely although she lives in luxury, she might be very strict on her children & grandchildren, and very controlling), which I have talked about on the podcast before. I wonder about her sense of humour, and what she’s really like.

I also spoke about the Queen’s power, how our democratic monarchy works and the difference between having a president and a monarch. Unfortunately, a lot of this was drowned out by the sound of traffic, so I’ll try and sum up what I said.

People sometimes wonder about why we have a Queen & a royal family in the UK, and also suggest that it might be better to have a republic instead. It might look like an old feudal system – a kind of medieval system in which the Queen has a covenant with god. What is this game of Thrones? But if you disregard the craziness of monarchy, you can just see it for what it is. It’s a slightly strange system, which works pretty well for the UK.

Without wishing to criticise republicanism (it works fine in plenty of other countries), in the UK democratic monarchy seems to work for us quite well. In a republic, such as USA or France, the president has an executive and representative function. He leads the country and also represents the country in state ceremonies, and as the figurehead of the nation. It’s an incredibly important role. That can lead to some issues. People want to look up to the president, and celebrate him/her as he/she represents their nation, and yet the president also has a responsibility to run the country, and answer to the wishes of his citizens. People shouldn’t be too deferential to the president because ultimately he’s a civil servant who works for the people. Sure, we can respect the president if he does a good job, but often people want a figurehead who is above the political system. In the UK the responsibilities are split between the monarch and the PM. The PM runs the country, and the Queen just ‘represents’. They do have tea once a week, so she has an audience with the PM, she does have minimal powers which she doesn’t use. So Brits can celebrate the Queen as head of state, knowing that she doesn’t have any decision making power and that she doesn’t express a political preference, and then we’re free to criticise our Prime Minister without having to be overly deferential towards him. His job is to run the country. We shouldn’t lift him up to the position of someone super special. He works for us. The Queen’s job is to give us a focal point for national pride without letting political views get in the way. So, that’s how we can celebrate the Queen without it affecting the way our country is run. Hopefully. It’s a very complex issue with all kinds of opinions regarding the pros and cons of having a royal family. I’ve dealt with it before on the podcast, in episode 103. “The Queen & The Royal Family” (featuring EnglishRobot4000).