Category Archives: Comedy

343. The Interactive Lying Game (with Amber & Paul) / Descriptive Adjectives with T / Three is a Magic Number

In this episode I’m joined by podcast pals Amber & Paul and we’re playing the Lying Game again, but this is a special version because this is The Interactive Lying Game. I know it’s exciting. Try to control yourself. Details below.

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WHAT DO YOU THINK? Click the box below to jump to the polls and cast your votes.

Just in case you don’t know what the lying game is (and that’s the lying game not the lion game), let me bring you up to speed.

So, where shall I start? Well, this is the universe, ok? In that universe there’s a tiny little galaxy, and in that tiny galaxy there’s an even tinier solar system with this little sun, and spinning around it there are some little bits of dust called planets. We’re on one of them. It’s called earth. Ok, got it? On earth there’s this thing called the internet, and that’s basically used for watching cat videos, sharing selfies, and listening to this podcast and for security services to spy on people’s internet usage to see exactly which cats are being watched, what is contained in those selfies and what kind of stuff is being talked about on this podcast. That’s pretty much all you need to know I think, regarding context. So there you go, do you feel up to speed now?

Oh yes, the lying game.

The Lying Game is a speaking game which I play in my English classes sometimes, because you know, I’m an English teacher – do I need to explain that too? No? OK, I’ll just get on with it. So, I also play the lying game on the podcast sometimes when I’m joined by Amber & Paul.

Here are the rules of the game

1. Someone makes a statement about themselves – it can be anything really, but usually it’s a statement about something they did in the past. The statement can either be true or a lie.
2. The other competitors then have to decide if they think it’s true or a lie, but before doing that they ask loads of questions in order to investigate the statement. The speaker has to respond.
3. The aim for the other competitors is to work out if the statement is true or not. The aim for the speaker is to try and fool the others.
4. After loads of questions have been asked, the competitors say if they think the statement is true or a lie, and justify their decisions.
5. The speaker then reveals if it’s true or not. Everyone goes crazy!
6. Any competitors who guess correctly get one point. The speaker gets a point for any wrong answers. So, when three people play, the speaker can get a maximum of 2 points per round, and the competitors can get a maximum of 1 point. Everyone gets a turn at being the speaker.

That might sound unnecessarily complicated but to keep it simple – all you have to do is just listen to the game, and try to guess if we’re lying or telling the truth. You can make your judgements by completing a simple poll on the page for this episode – and no you don’t need to give your email address or anything like that, it’s all open and free :)

The scores so far

To be honest, I can’t really work out the scores so far! The main thing is that I think Amber is the reigning champion so far because she’s probably the cleverest member of the team. I’m in second place because I’m ok at the game but my weakness seems to be that I can’t lie and I’m too gullible and trusting because I always believe that people are telling the truth, so I lose points sometimes because of that. Paul is in 3rd place and he always loses these games because he tries to be too tactical, and he always focuses on using strategies just to prevent Amber from winning, and those strategies always backfire in his face and he ends up coming third almost every time. He should just trust his instincts like a Jedi.

So, let’s see if Paul can finally win a game!

The Interactive Lying Game – The Rules

Here are the rules for this version:
In episode 318 Paul suggested that we do an interactive version of this game in which listeners send in their questions in response to our statements.
So we told you our statements, and then the LEP listeners wrote lots of questions on the page for episode 318.
In this episode we’re going to ask each other those questions.
You have to listen carefully and decide if we are telling the truth or telling lies.
Check out the page for this episode and you’ll find interactive polls where you can choose TRUE or LIE for each person. Please vote for each one.
Then, the next time we get together we’ll count all your votes. The winning person is the one who has fooled the most people.
So, it’s quite simple really – just listen to this episode and then go to the page on the website and vote using the online polls.
Then, later on we’ll reveal the truth, we’ll count the scores, and find out the winner!

THE STATEMENTS AGAIN

So, do you remember the statements from Amber, Paul and me?
Here’s a reminder:

Amber: I helped in the making of the film “Something’s Got To Give”
Luke: I accidentally knocked down a wall in a friend’s house in Japan
Paul: I used to get bullied by Guy Berryman, the bass player from Coldplay

What do you reckon, are they the honest truth or just a tissue of lies? Would you like to find out more? Are you ready to become a kind of psychological detective?

Yes, you are? Right then, without any further ado, let’s find out more as we listen to the podcast pals, aka The Truthful Trio or should that be the Treacherous Three. One thing’s for sure – it’s time for triple trouble, with Amber, Paul and me… Here we go…

*Jingles*
*The Interactive Lying Game Begins*

QUESTIONS FOR AMBER

Antonio
Amber: Who asked you for help? Were you an employee or it was a school exercise?

Mollie
Amber, how did you help in the making of the film ” Somethings Got To Give” ?

Anonymous • 4 months ago
Amber: Why did you help?

Krizzztofer • 3 months ago
Amber: Why aren’t you on the staff list on imdb.com ? (I love you BTW!) :-)
To listeners – please use the Donate button sometimes! Luke really deserves it! He does an incredible job. You don’t need to spend 100 pounds, but think about it – if everyone can give just 1 or 2 pounds…???
It’s not fair to get everything for free. Just think how much money we spend everyday for stupid things like smoking (I mean some of us, I gave up ;-). I If you send just 1pound – you invest in Luke and… in yourself! If you listen to this podcast – you really invest in yourself!

Hiroshi • 3 months ago
Amber: Is your help reflected in the film? If so, how did you feel when you saw the film?
Do you think you can work as filmmaker?
Do you want to be an actress?

Lê Vũ QC • 4 months ago
To Amber:
1. How did you help? Were you in the movie?
2. Did you get paid? If yes, how much?
3. Could you name some of the members of the cast and tell us what the movie was about?
I hope my questions will get picked :) I enjoy you guys’ conversations tremendously.
QC.

Mariam • 4 months ago
To Amber:How did you get asked to participate in that? When and where was that? How were you chosen? How did you feel about it? What did you do? Can you describe how the filming went or at least the thing you were involved in?
Looking forward to hearing from you :)

Yaron • 4 months ago
The questions for Amber are: How did you help in making this movie (What was your role? did you direct it :) ? )… It is very difficult to ask more questions, since the question are really depend on how this help was given….. Were you familiar with one the film production members (the script writer / editor /other)?

Mark (@nicknamemark) • 4 months ago
Amber: have you ever got in touch with the executive caster/core actor?

Antonio • 4 months ago
Amber: who asked you for help for this movie?

-e- • 4 months ago
Amber: Your style and your voice are as beautiful as Marilyn’s appearance was… but now I don’t believe you ;)
So, no questions but I have to say, enjoyable episode again! Thanks
-e-

QUESTIONS FOR LUKE

Antonio
Luke: how did you do it?

Mollie
Q1 : Luke , what was your friend’s name ? Is it he or she ? Is he or she Japanese ?

Anonymous • 4 months ago
Luke: What was reaction of your friend when you did it?

Krizzztofer • 3 months ago
First of all – this Lying Game series is a masterpiece!
Luke: How much did you drink? :-) (How much had you drunk?)

Hiroshi • 3 months ago
Luke: I accidentally knocked down a wall
Was that wall made out of paper or something like that? Usually you can’t knock down a wall.
Were you injured?
Were you dancing in the room? How you can knock down a wall? Kicked?

Lê Vũ QC • 4 months ago
To Luke:
1. What kind of house was that? Was it old or new, traditional or modern? Was the wall made of wood or concrete?
2. What was the relationship between you and that friend? Do you guys still keep in touch?
3. How did she/he react?

Mariam • 4 months ago
To Luke: Why were you in your friend’s house? Was it a traditional Japanese house with paper walls? (can you describe the house)? How did that happen? What was your freind’s reaction? Did you pay for the charges of fixing it? I can go on but I think it’s enough ;)

Yaron
This interactive version is a good idea Paul – well done!
Luke: I have no question for you. I’m sure that you are telling the truth :) …. just kidding… my questions to you are: What was the wall was made of (bricks, autoclaved aerated concrete, paper, Other)? How did it happen? Did you do it with bare hands or with some tool (like hammer for example)?

Mark (@nicknamemark) • 4 months ago
Luke: what about your location specifically in Japan? Does your friend’s city have many wooden houses?

Antonio
Luke: How did you put down the wall?

-E-
Luke: I think you are way too well-behaved a guy to knock anything down :) but maybe you did it….
Luke Thompson
Even though I slapped a teacher on the back of the head?
-E-
Yep, good question!
Nowadays students are allowed to do nearly everything as you know but if a teacher slightly touches a student, he or she gets into trouble…
So maybe you Luke are “the roof of all evil ” ! Your slapping has been the example for later generations… ;)
Anyway, Season’s Greetings
-e-
Luke Thompson
“The roof of all evil” I like it!
But it’s the *root of all evil.
I prefer being the roof though.

QUESTIONS FOR PAUL

Hiroshi • 3 months ago
Paul: I used to get bullied by Guy Berryman, the bass player from Coldplay.
You were misunderstanding his name as Guy Bullyman when you were young, right?

Hitoshi • 3 months ago
Paul: I used to get bullied by Guy Berryman, the bass player from Coldplay.
How old were you?
How did he bully you?
Could you manage to stop it?
Do you want to see him now?
What would you say and do if you saw him?

Antonio
Paul, what Job did you have at this time?

Mollie
Q2 : Paul , when did you get bullied by Guy Berryman ?

Anonymous
Paul : Where were you educated? how old were you? Did Guy Berryman know his bandmates at that time?

Krizzztofer • 3 months ago
Paul: How old are you? (it seems you are too young, Guy is 38:) )

Lê Vũ QC • 4 months ago
To Paul:
1. When did that happen and what did you do when that happened?
2. Do you still know Berryman or are you just strangers now?
3. Why did he bully you? Was it because he was just an asshole or something?

Mariam • 4 months ago
To Paul: When and where was that? How old were you (both)? Was he in the band yet around that time? How did he bully you (what did he say or do)? How did you react?

-e-
Paul: Who the hell could have bullied you? .. It definitely can’t be true!

Yaron
The questions for Paul are: What was your age at the time? How many times did he bully you? Where did it happen? Why did he bully you? Can you think why he did it to you?

Mark (@nicknamemark) • 4 months ago
Paul: How old were you when you were bullied? If this happened in school, would you like to give us the school name?

Antonio
Paul: What was your job at this time?

David Beckham’s greasy curtains

Go Greased Lightning!

WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO THE POLL AND ADD YOUR COMMENTS

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AMBER, PAUL & LUKE – THE PODPALS – NICKNAMES & ACRONYMS

Amber, Paul & Luke – We Need an Acronym or Nickname (don’t we?)
It’s always lots of fun when they’re on the podcast and according to comments it looks like you, the listeners, agree. In fact, people seem to feel that Amber, Paul and I form quite a successful podcasting team, so naturally we need a nickname or an acronym for the three of us.

You heard us mention a couple of ideas for acronyms or nicknames in the previous episode, but we didn’t decide on one.

So, I want you the listeners to help me choose a good acronym or nickname for us.

Here are some suggestions:

Acronyms
PAL (pal = friend, mate)
APL (apple?)
PLA! (?)
LPA! (?)

Feel free to create another acronym perhaps featuring the letters of our first names and surnames too.
A for Amber
P for Paul
L for Luke
M for Minogue
T for Taylor
T for Thompson
So, that’s – A P L M T T
Players of Scrabble will notice that there’s just one vowel in there and 5 consonants, two of which are T, which makes it quite hard to form a word – so good luck with that!

Superhero team names, like The Fantastic Four (The + adjective + word for three things)
Here are the ingredients:
Words for “three things”
Three
Trio – a group of three people, like three singers
Triptych – a set of three works of art, like three paintings that go together
Triangle – a geometric shape with three corners and three sides
Tripod – a stand with three legs, e.g. a camera tripod
Tricycle – like a bicycle but with three wheels
Triforce (for Legend of Zelda fans) – The Triforce (トライフォース, Toraifōsu ?) is the golden triangle, made from three other golden triangles arranged together. It comes from Nintendo’s Legend of Zelda series of video games. Referred to as “The Golden Power” in ancient Hyrulian literature, it is an omnipotent sacred relic, representing the essence of the Golden Goddesses who created the realm of Hyrule. The triforce as a symbol also appears in Japanese history as a icon representing an old Japanese family, I think.
Trident – a brand of chewing gum, but also a three-pronged spear carried by Poseidon the god of the sea and also Britannia the female personification of Great Britain. Both Poseidon and Britannia carry tridents. Trident is also the name of the UK’s nuclear weapons system, based in Scotland.
Team – you know what that means.

Adjectives beginning with T (these ones don’t really go with ‘Three’)
Terrific – great, or big, very good
Triumphant – victorious, having won in battle
talkative – talk a lot
Tantalizing – having or exhibiting something that provokes or arouses expectation, interest, or desire, especially that which remains unobtainable or beyond one’s reach
tangential – tending to go off on tangents, the tendency to get diverted (quite appropriate)
tasteful – having good taste
talented – having talent
tactical – having tactics or strategy
tasty – delicious

Adjectives beginning with Tr (these ones go nicely with ‘trio’)
trustworthy – you can trust us
tranquil – peaceful, calm or silent
transcribed – our words have been transcribed perhaps as part of the transcript collaboration
trendsetting – to be one who sets trends or creates trends, the state of being a trendsetter
truthful – honest, telling the truth
trivial – not important
trilateral – involving three sides or groups, like a trilateral trade agreement between three nations, or a trilateral decision
transcendent – higher or better than other things, rising to a new level, perhaps surpassing normal states and into a higher plane
tremendous – a large amount, or very good
tragicomical – both sad and funny at the same time

Adjectives beginning with TH (these ones go nicely with ‘Three’)
thorough – detailed and careful, going through something in great detail and covering it fully and carefully
thoughtful – thinking a lot, particularly about others
therapeutic – bringing therapy
thrilling – exciting
thunderous – very loud, like thunder
thickheaded – stupid

Also
Triple Trouble
The 3 Musketeers
The Podpals
? something else ?

OK, THERE’S NO NICKNAME POLL – Just add your suggestions in the comment section please :)

But here are a few ideas:

Triple Trouble
The Podpals
The t_____________ trio
The t_____________ three
The t_____________ team

Song: Three is a Magic Number by Bob Dorough

Chords & lyrics https://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/b/bob_dorough/three_is_a_magic_number_crd_1761209id_21082015date.htm

342. Paul’s “La Bise” Video Success / Audition Story (with Amber & Paul)

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In this episode I’m joined by podcast pals Amber & Paul and we talk about Paul’s hit youtube video about French kissing habits, his newfound success as a stand-up (he’s the hottest kid in town), some online abuse he’s had and then an anecdote about an audition that we attended recently, which involved a surprising misunderstanding about accents. There’s also a brief language focus on using relative clauses with ‘which’ to extend your sentences when speaking. Enjoy!

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Image: c/o Robert Hoehn French Fried TV

Transcript for the intro and outro to this episode

Intro

Hello, welcome back to the podcast. This is episode 342. First of all I’d like to say thanks if you’ve recently left comments on my website, written positive reviews on iTunes or especially if you’ve sent a donation to the podcast. I appreciate all of those things very very much indeed and I hope that you feel like you’ve invested in this podcast, even in a small way. Every little helps. So thank you very much.

In this episode I’m joined again by podcast pals Amber and Paul

If you are a brand new listener and you don’t know them then here are the basics: Essentially, they’re both from the south-east of England, I know them from the stand-up comedy scene here in Paris and they both have super-powers, yes that’s right – super-powers.

Amber is a voice-over artist, actress and tour guide. She has a little 2-year-old son called Hugo (who has featured on the podcast before, making dinosaur noises in episode 297), and Amber’s super power is that she has loveliest voice in the world. Her voice is so lovely it could melt the heart of even the toughest person – like anyone at all. Even Vladimir Putin or Batman would be reduced to a little puppy when listening to Amber’s voice, right listeners? If Amber’s voice was on Darth Vader’s iPod and he listened to her talking, he would immediately give up his devotion to the dark side and turn into an ewok or something. That’s Amber.

Paul used to work for Apple – the company, not the fruit. It would be weird if he worked for an Apple. Anyway, last year he took the brave decision to quit his job in order to focus on becoming a full-time stand-up comedian, performing both in English and in French. Paul has a weekly one-man show called #franglais which he performs every week and he also performs a two-man comedy show with me every Thursday, and that one’s called “Sorry, we’re English”. He has his own podcast, called “Becoming a Comedian”, which you can find at paultaylorcomedy.com. Paul’s super-power is his infectious laugh, which causes podcast listeners to randomly split their sides in different countries around the world, which is nice. I imagine if he had to do battle with Darth Vader, he’d just laugh in his face and Vader would turn into Jar-Jar Binks or something.

The conversation you’re going to hear in this episode was recorded the other day when we were sitting upstairs on my little terrace enjoying some sunshine. We recorded about 3 episodes-worth of stuff that day. Two in the sunshine and one indoors because after a few hours it went cloudy and then started raining, which is typical for April in this part of the world. You already heard the first part of that conversation in episode 341.

Click here to check out a list of other episodes featuring Amber & Paul

But in this conversation Amber and I talk to Paul about recent success in his stand-up career, there’s a surprise phone call from Robert Hoehn, we talk about some online abuse Paul’s received, and then Paul and I tell Amber about an audition we had for a TV show recently, which involved a bit of a misunderstanding about our British accents.

One thing I just want to let you know right now is that I’m aware that this conversation is quite quick and you might not get absolutely every single word that we say, but that’s fine because as we know, listening to native speakers at natural speed is a valuable thing for you to do even if it’s difficult to understand every little thing. Just try to fill in the blanks, tolerate the stuff you don’t understand, read between the lines and keep going. Listening several times will help, but the main thing is to relax and just enjoy spending 45 minutes in the sunshine with us.

Where were we?

Where were we in the conversation at the end of the last episode?

There was a bit of a cliffhanger of sorts. Paul was about to tell us what happened in January, and it’s something about his progress as a comedian. Let’s get an update on how it’s all going.

A bit of language analysis – Paul’s long sentence – using ‘which’

In just a moment I’m going to start playing our conversation to you and it’ll carry on from where it ended last time.

The first you’re going to hear is me saying to Paul, “Give us an update on what happened in January” and then you’ll hear Paul speaking pretty quickly, and producing perhaps the longest sentence in the history of humanity. Actually, long sentences with lots of additional clauses are pretty common in spoken English, especially in spontaneous talking. In writing I think it’s best to keep your sentences short and clear but in speaking we often find ways to extend our sentences to include new thoughts and to keep the rhythm going, particularly with words like ‘and’ or ‘but’ (simple ways) but also with relative pronouns, particularly ‘which’, which we add to nouns and even whole clauses in order to extend sentences (like I just did there – did you notice?) Check out the way Paul uses ‘which’ to extend his sentences and add ideas, adding fluency to his speech.

Here’s the first sentence you’ll hear from Paul in this episode:
“Yeah, I think the last time we spoke, I don’t know if we talked about it but I was gearing up for the start of my own show, which was like an hour, my first hour-long solo show, which was starting on January 9th and I was excited (and) nervous because I’d never been on-stage for an hour (and) it was going to be cool, whatever, and then during the month of December, Robert Hoehn, who has been on the podcast previously, he runs an English comedy night and he’s, I guess, seen me do comedy for the last three years and he suggested to me that I make a video out of one of my sketches which I’d been doing on stage, which was around the French, their kissing and saying hello and it’s called La Bise, in France.”

Wow. There are a few examples of ‘which’ in there and also a ‘who’, after he mentions Robert Hoehn, who has been on the podcast previously. Also, there’s the phrase “gearing up for” which means “getting ready for”. OK. Now I’ll let you listen to that sentence in full, spoken by Paul.

One question: How many times does he say “which” and what’s the most common word that comes after it?

*Paul’s long sentence*

Answers:
He says ‘which’ four times and it’s most commonly followed by ‘was’ (3 times) and once it’s followed by ‘had been doing’.

This is often how we add information to stories. I mentioned this language point in the photo competition episode too. That’s episode 327. In Paul’s sentence, “which was” comes after a noun every time, but sometimes it comes after a clause. Question: What is the noun or clause that is followed by ‘which’ in these examples?

“He suggested that I make a video of one of my sketches which I’d been doing on stage which was around the French way of saying hello”.

Answer: Both times it’s ‘one of my sketches’

and “So, we sat on the terrace and just talked for about 2 hours, which was nice”.

Answer: it’s the whole clause ‘we sat on the terrace and just talked for about 2 hours’.

So, there was a little bit of language analysis. But that’s enough of that. I will now let you listen to the rest of the conversation properly, and enjoy another chat with podcast pals Amber & Paul, and by the way, just to let you know in advance – there is a little bit of swearing in this conversation.

conversation starts

Watch Paul’s Video about “La Bise”

A France24 TV news report about Paul

Outro – Transcript

We will be back, speaking more ‘crapola’ soon, because we’ll be playing the interactive lying game and that should be the next episode of this podcast.

What’s crapola? It’s just another way of saying ‘crap’ or ‘nonsense’. Crap is poo by the way. Crap is a swear word but it’s not as bad as ‘shit’. Crapola is not such a common word – it’s a variation on the word ‘crap’ and it means ‘nonsense’ or ‘stupid talking’.

Accents

Now, at the end there you heard us talking about accents. That was a slightly heated conversation and since this is my podcast I’d like to try and clarify what I was trying to say.

So, first of all we went for the audition and it was nice, but one of the producers said, “Can you speak with less of a British accent?” and we asked, “You mean you want us to use an American accent?” and she said “Not American, just less British. You know, like the way they speak in New York, because they don’t have an American accent in New York” and we were a bit stunned that doesn’t mean anything. So, first of all I think it’s not possible to have no accent. Everyone has an accent, but you might feel like your accent is the normal, standard position for the language and that every other version is an accent. Even accents which are considered to be the neutral forms are still an accent. So it doesn’t make sense to say that you don’t have an accent or that the people of a particular place don’t have an accent. If they pronounce words, using certain sounds, that’s an accent. Some accents are considered the standard forms, and in the UK and in the USA there are, broadly speaking, two standard accents. There’s Received Pronunciation in the UK, which is generally how I speak (although I have inflections from the midlands and the South East, reflecting the places where I grew up) and in the USA there’s an accent called Standard American, which is a kind of regionless accent. So maybe what the girl meant to say was, can you speak with a standard American accent, or a more trans-Atlantic accent? But then she realised that it could be taken as a bit rude, because it’s like she suggested that there was something wrong with our British accents or something. She didn’t mean any offence of course.

Another thing I often read online is the sentence, “There’s no such thing as a British accent”, which is a bit misleading. Generally people write that in response to comments on Youtube or Reddit or something when an American person has said something like “OMG I love the British accent”, or equally “OH my god the British accent sucks” or something. Then someone gets pissed off and writes a response, like “there’s no such thing as a British accent!” But that’s a bit stupid too. If an accent comes from a part of Britain, it’s a British accent. Obviously British accents exist, but the point is there is not just one British accent – there are many accents from different regions and it’s a bit short-sighted to just imagine there is only one “British accent” when in fact it’s so much more diverse than that, and I suppose that comment “There’s no such thing as a British accent” is the British person’s way of expressing annoyance or frustration over the lack of awareness of the diversity of British accents.

In the UK today we are very sensitive to accents, as Amber mentioned in the conversation. There are many many variations on the way people speak, and those variations indicate things like regional origin and social status. We shouldn’t judge people by their accents, but we do. We also are very affectionate about accents and generally very positive about regional accent variations. We love the diversity of accents in our country and generally it is considered inappropriate and snobbish to laugh at an accent or to suggest that there’s something wrong with speaking in a different way. Being snobbish about regional accents is now quite unfashionable in the UK. Regional accents are generally celebrated these days – and when you watch TV, including the BBC news, you’ll hear lots of different accents being spoken by presenters from around the country, because TV viewers appreciate the regional flavours of the different accents.

So, I suppose part of our surprise at the girl at the audition was just about her lack of awareness of accent variation, but also the slightly clumsy way she talked about the whole subject, suggesting that people in New York had no accent, or that our British way of speaking was just a regional variation of an accent that has its neutral base in Manhattan. But, I understand that identifying regional accents can be very hard when you’re not native to that language, so we didn’t take offence at the girl and it was fine, but we did find it amusing and interesting from a linguistic point of view. So, that’s that.

I must do more episodes about different regional accents on this podcast. There is just so much content to cover and it’s really important that you get a sense of the different accent variations. I have dealt with accents before a bit, but there’s so much more to do on that subject. We’ve only really scratched the surface.

Listen to Adam & Joe talking about British and American actors doing different accents, particularly Ray Winstone (UK – London) pretending to be an American in the film Fool’s Gold. 😂

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIxQFUV_AcA

And this one about Leonardo DiCaprio’s Irish accent and how Hollywood helps actors perform in different accents.

Oh, and remember Tracy Goodwin the American voice coach from Episode 20 of Luke’s English Podcast? Here are Adam & Joe talking about that…

Using Apps to listen to this podcast

This is turning into another longish episode. It happens so easily, but you heard Paul earlier talking about the ‘pause’ button. I wonder if you use that, because as I’ve said before – you don’t have to listen to these episodes in one go, you can pause and listen to the rest later. If you’re using podcasting software like an app on your phone, it will remember where you were when you paused, even if you close the app or switch off your phone or computer.

Here are some recommended apps: There’s the standard Apple Podcasts app, which is fine. I use PocketCasts which is available on iPhone and android. You can also get it on your computer. There’s Acast which is good. Also, try the Audioboom app. All of them let you listen via an internet connection (wifi or data) and the also let you download episodes onto your phone so you can listen when you’re not online. All those apps will save your position in an episode so you can listen, pause, listen again, pause, come back later and listen to more etc.

You can still just download the files from the website and put them on your mp3 player – just check if there’s a folder in your player for podcasts because if you use that folder the mp3 player will probably save your position, just like the smartphone apps do.

Thanks for listening – speak to you soon, bye!

341. Catching Up With Amber & Paul, Again

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Amber & Paul are back on the podcast after a 4 month absence. What have they been doing? Let’s catch up with them again, and respond to some comments from listeners. This episode was recorded in the open air, up on the terrace of my flat in the April sunshine. It’s been almost exactly a year since did Episode 271: Catching up with Amber & Paul, when we sat on the terrace and chatted about TV series, ginger people and getting caught in the sun. Since then Amber & Paul have been on the podcast quite a few times, playing vocabulary & speaking games, planning a bank robbery and generally talking nonsense.

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The most recent time they were on, we played a rematch of The Lying Game. (Amber won, surprise surprise). Then we launched an interactive version of The Lying Game. We’ll be playing that later. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about – just go back into the episode archive and search for episodes with Amber & Paul.

In fact, to make it easier, click here to see links to other episodes featuring Amber & Paul.

Click here to check out Paul’s podcast, “Becoming a Comedian”.

Who are Amber & Paul? (Just in case you don’t already know)

Both are Brits living in Paris. Both perform stand up.
Amber has a lovely voice. She does voice overs, does stand-up, trained at the Gaulier school (same as Sacha Baron Cohen) loves books, radio 4 and audiobooks. Speaks French. Is a history nut. Has lived here for about 10 years. Has a baby boy who is now about 2 and a half years old.
Paul is a stand-up comedian who used to work at Apple but quit that job in order to focus on doing comedy full-time. He speaks English, French & Spanish. Previous appearances on the podcast seem to show that he doesn’t know any words in English ;) and that he always loses competitive games we play. Since his last appearance on the podcast his comedy career has taken off after one of his videos hit 1.5 million views in about a week, and now his one-man show is regularly sold out and he’s being approached by TV companies who want to produce The Paul Taylor TV Show!

Episode Contents (Here’s what you’ll hear in the episode)

Describing the context and the situation – we’re on the terrace, in the sunshine again
Amber & Paul introduce each other (for the benefit of any new listeners)
We share some comments from listeners (I read them out, we all respond)
What have you both been doing? Anything to report? This conversation will continue in the next episode…

COMMENTS FROM LISTENERS ABOUT AMBER & PAUL

Original comments can be found in the comment section for previous episodes, especially 318. Any errors have been corrected by me – you’re welcome.

Comments about the team…

Gabriel • 4 months ago
I really like the episodes with Amber and Paul :D

Brahim • 4 months ago
You make an amazing team with Amber and Paul

Łukasz • 4 months ago

This is a really good episode of Luke’s English Podcast. Natural conversation among native speakers, good, engaging stories, a bit of humor and the game that listeners can also be involved trying to guess who was a liar. Please make more conversations and games on Luke’s English Podcast. It really makes a difference.

Edel • 4 months ago

Love the Amber and Paul jingle.

Mariam • 4 months ago

I like the new jingle. I think you should play it whenever Paul and Amber are with you ;)

Paulina
I really enjoyed this episode! Paul and Amber are awesome (I started to listen to Paul’s podcast too). The joke about Philips lightbulbs was great. I listened this episode during my way to school when I was in a bus. When I heard Paul’s laugh I couldn’t stop laughing too and lots of people in bus were staring at me but I didn’t care. Thanks Luke for changing my boring travel to university into a wonderful journey. I’ve already downloaded the second part and I can’t wait to listen to it.

On Paul’s appearance…

Olga • 4 months ago

I had never seen Paul, but then I don’t know how but I was on your page on facebook and saw a photo of Paul. I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but I did. And for me Paul looks definitely like Mort, an adorable goodman’s mouse lemur from “Madagascar”. http://cs608727.vk.me/v6087276… His eyes are so lovely, kind and naive.
So, you are the greatest, Luke, but you, Paul and Amber are like a great power. You remind me of “The Fantastic four”. But I think you need someone else for a complete set! ;)
http://www.kinomania.ru/images…

mih • a month ago [added to the COMEDY SHOWS page]
omg, I thought Paul was black when I listened to his voice =)

On Amber & Paul’s voices (apparently most people think Amber has an amazingly lovely voice, but Paul has his fans too)…

Krizzztofer • 5 months ago

OMG I love Amber’s voice! I could listen to her all day long!

Marinus
There is something so beautiful in Amber’s voice, Paul always makes me laugh.

Chriss Benitez • 3 months ago
I wasn’t aware of this episode till now. I will say it every time I hear Amber: “Just lovely voice”.
You’ve got a nice accent too Paul, and you do French and Spanish impressions so well. But Amber is a British girl with a lovely accent, there is no better thing on earth :/ sorry.

Dinara • 4 months ago
Paul I totally LOOOVE your voice! It’s charming)

Lê Vũ QC • 4 months ago
As a girl, I quite enjoy Paul’s voice, it sounds boyish and cute :) I’m downloading the episodes of his podcast now. #teamPaul

On Paul’s podcast…

Edelegn • 4 months ago
Absolutely loved Paul’s podcast.

Lê Vũ QC Lê Vũ QC • 4 months ago
OK I listened to the first episode and it was quite hilarious [Luke: absolutely hilarious]. I shouldn’t have been eating dinner while listening though because he talked about some gross stuff there. Very funny podcast nonetheless. :v

Michael Prior • 4 months ago
Hi y’all,
I enjoyed your rematch very much today! It’s just that I found myself thinking that you might have been a bit rude towards Amber, with referring to Paul’s comedy and blog and all. On the other hand, when Amber mentioned she’s doing stand-up as well, it didn’t seem worthwhile elaborating on that. You just let that slide… or did I miss anything? ?
Greetings
Michael from Germany
Luke Thompson to Michael Prior • 4 months ago
Amber does stand up too, but she doesn’t have her own show at the moment, and also doesn’t have her own podcast either. Really, it’s fine – we’re good friends so there was no rudeness or anything. :)

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From the Archives: Other Episodes featuring Amber & Paul

158 & 159. A Cup of Christmas Tea with… Paul Taylor The first time Paul Taylor has been on the podcast. Paul’s a comedian who works for Apple. We get to know Paul and talk about typical Christmas in the UK. Paul and I copy different accents in English.
161. She’s Having a Baby An interview with Amber Minogue, pregnant with her first child, about pregnancy and childbirth.
271. Catching Up with Amber & Paul A really funny and friendly conversation with my friends Amber and Paul on a very hot and sunny day in April.
272. The Bad Haircut Situation How should you give compliments, accept compliments and give bad news politely in English? Listen to this funny discussion to hear what Amber, Paul and I think.
273. The Bad Haircut Situation Part 2: More Role Plays & Improvisations Amber, Paul and I do some improvised comedy and demonstrate ways of dealing with awkward situations in English.
283. Ten Fixed Expressions A fun game in which I test Paul Taylor’s vocabulary and we teach 10 natural expressions.
285. Ten More Fixed Expressions A funny episode in which I test Paul Taylor on his knowledge of vocabulary, and we teach you some more expressions.
287. VOCAB BATTLE!!! WITH AMBER & PAUL (exciting title) Fun and games with Amber, Paul and some natural English expressions.
296. Learning Comedy is like Learning a Language A conversation with Paul Taylor about his experiences at the Edinburgh fringe festival, and how learning to do comedy is similar to learning to speak a foreign language.
298. The Bank Robbery (Part 1) A speaking exercise with native speakers. How will Amber, Paul and Sebastian plan the perfect bank robbery?
299. The Bank Robbery (Part 2) Listen to native speakers planning a bank robbery in this fun simulation.
306. The Mystery of Corporate Jargon & Management Speak (Part 1) Why do people use these phrases, and why do so many people hate language like this? And, what is bullsh*t bingo?
307. The Mystery of Corporate Jargon & Management Speak (Part 2) I’m joined by Paul Taylor as we discuss specific words and phrases used in the world of business.
308. The Lying Game (Part 1) With Amber & Paul Amber, Paul and I play another speaking game. Can you guess if we’re lying or telling the truth? Listen carefully.
309. The Lying Game (Part 2) With Amber & Paul Here’s part 2 of this speaking game with Amber and Paul. Listen until the end to hear me explain how I use this game in my English classes (hello teachers).
Attacks in Paris Paul Taylor was just a few meters away from one of the shootings that took place in Paris this week. He tells me all that he saw and what happened.
310. The Words of the Year (Part 1) In all 3 of these episodes I explain and clarify a lot of what we say in these funny conversations so that you can learn, laugh and understand everything.
311. The Words of the Year (Part 2) Learn some new language, and listen to some discussions and anecdotes related to these words.
312. The Words of the Year (Part 3) Amber, Paul and I talk about some new words which were added to the Collins dictionary this year.
317. The Rematch (Part 1) With Amber & Paul Will Paul finally win a game on this podcast? Listen to find out.
318. The Rematch (Part 2) with Amber & Paul Listen to your favourite podcast guests play another speaking game and try to guess if we’re lying or telling the truth.

I was interviewed by Olly Richards on his podcast, called “I Will Teach You a Language” and we talked about language learning

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Did you enjoy episode 332 of my podcast, with Olly Richards? It seems to have been a popular one. If you did enjoy it, you might want to check out this new episode of Olly’s podcast, because he interviewed me. *I’m so proud right now*

It’s episode 90 👇

I was very happy to be interviewed by Olly because I listen to his podcast and think it’s great. He always gives such practical and motivating tips for language learning and all his advice comes from his own valuable experience as a learner of many languages. I was glad to be considered a worthy guest.

Olly chose to ask me about being a teacher and podcaster and what I’d learned from those experiences. Like in LEP#332 we continue to talk about some key principles about being a good language learner – attitude, time, practice and material. We also reflect on 7 years of Luke’s English Podcast (has it really been 7 years?!) and the pros and cons of the language classroom as a learning space.

Head over to Olly’s website to find out more, and to listen to the episode.

333. More Misheard Lyrics ♬

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OK, the last misheard lyrics episode was pretty popular and I’ve had several shouts of “more!” from the LEP community, so here we go again! What’s this all about? Well, first of all it’s a sequel to a previous episode of LEP. That’s #281 “Misheard Lyrics” so you could listen to that before you listen to this. Basically, this episode is all about those moments when you mishear song lyrics.

[DOWNLOAD]
You might listen to lyrics in songs and for one reason or another completely misunderstand what they’re saying. The most famous example is probably “Purple Haze” by Jimi Hendrix, which actually sounds like “Kiss this guy” when in fact he’s singing “Excuse me while I kiss the sky” although Hendrix knew that it sounded ambiguous and he would sometimes sing “Excuse me while I kiss this guy” just to mess with people’s heads.

These misheard lyrics could be due to the way the singers don’t fully pronounce the words, or just the result of connected speech which makes it sound like the singers are singing something else. Or it could just be that I’m looking for weird lyrics when in fact they’re not there, because I enjoy it when it sounds like singers are singing something else.

Everyone experiences it, including native speakers. So if you do mishear song lyrics don’t worry – you’re not alone. Misheard song lyrics is a common phenomenon and misheard lyrics have their own name – mondegreens.

For me, mondegreens or misheard lyrics are lots of fun because they bring new meanings to a song, often ones which are entirely at odds with the intended message of the song writer. It’s fun to let your imagination run wild and just picture what those misheard lyrics really mean.

And if you don’t mishear song lyrics – if you hear them correctly, then that’s great too! It just means your listening is really good.

So let’s go through another list of misheard lyrics! I’m going to play you some song extracts and then we’ll just have fun speculating about what the singer is really singing, and what they actually mean. If you can’t hear the misheard versions, then that’s fine – but you might need to suspend your disbelief a little bit, just for fun.

I will aim to clarify the real lyrics being sung, and you can find all the song and artist titles of these tunes on the page for this episode.

P.s. There might be some rude content in this episode! Just letting you know…

Themes: Animals, food, people, random stuff.

Animals
Pat Benatar – Hit Me With Your Best Shot
“Hit me with your pet shark, why don’t you hit me with your pet shark?”
Maybe I don’t want to hit you with my pet shark! What kind of freak are you? First of all, not only is that potentially hazardous to you, but it’s almost certainly going to be fatal to the shark, and I really don’t want to kill my shark just to please you. I mean, I like having a pet shark – it’s a f*cking pet shark for pete’s sake. It’s awesome. So, no, I will not hit you with my pet shark. – And Pat says, “well, you’re just not cool man – I don’t want to hang with a dude who isn’t even prepared to hit me with his pet fish, even if it is a shark. You know, I’m from Hollywood man and there we all hit each other with our pets man, its not big deal. I thought you liked to party – but it turns out you just care about your shark – it’s not even a proper shark man. It’s not a tiger shark or a great white, it’s just some crummy mud shark or a dogfish or something.” And you say, yeah, fair enough Pat, it’s no big deal. Now, do you want a cup of tea? Let’s have a cup of tea and then I’ll hit you with my pet shark. And she says “Now you’re talking! I think I love you” etc.

– real lyric = “hit me with your best shot”

Daft Punk – Get Lucky
“We rub a Mexican monkey” (2m30)
Are you sure it’s legal to rub a mexican monkey? And should you be writing a song about it?
It was certailny a big hit this song about the abuse of an American primate. Everyone really got behind it in the summer of 2014 didn’t they. Every party around the world people are partying and dancing – “yeah! We rub a mexican monkey too!”
Meanwhile, one Mexican monkey is either feeling very happy, or he’s feeling exploited.
This poor mexican monkey, just went to the USA for a chance of a better life, and he fell in with the wrong crowd and some of them are hitting each other with their pets and stuff like that, and then a group of them start playing around with him and rubbing him inappropriately and stuff.

real lyric = “We’re up all night to get lucky”

Alanis Morrisette – You Oughta Know
“It’s not fair to remind me of the cross eyed bear that you gave to me”
You know in arguments you bring up stuff that happened in the past, especially good things that you’ve done, because you think that’s going to win you some points in the argument. For example, if you did something special – like gave your girlfriend a cross eyed bear, it’s going to be hard for her to win the argument, unless she claims that it’s unfair to mention it. That is an argument stopper – because you can’t argue with the gift of a cross eyed bear!

real lyric = “it’s not fair, to remind me, of the cross I bear that you gave to me”

Bob Dylan – Blowing in the Wind
“These ants are my friends”
Ok Bob, random!
(the answer my friend)

David Bowie – Sound and Vision
“Don’t you wonder sometimes, about salmon fishing?”
Occasionally yes David, I do wonder about Salmon fishing. I wonder how they manage to catch so many salmon and yet there are still plenty to go around. Do they just keep the salmon in a big lake and pull them out with a net? How much movement do they get? How much stuff do they put in the water to make the salmon big? Are they using bears? Do the salmon still get to jump up rivers like they don’t know how rivers work?

real lyric = “Don’t you wonder some times, about sound and vision.”

Food
Destiny’s Child – Bootylicious
“I don’t think you’re ready for fish jelly”
No, I’m not ready for fish jelly. It sounds disgusting.

real lyric = “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly” (no idea what that’s about)

Rolling Stones – Beast of Burden
“I’ll never leave (be) your pizza burning”
How romantic.

real lyric = “I’ll never be your beast of burden”

Paul Young – Every Time You Go Away
“Every time you go away you take a piece of meat with you”
Quite a resourceful move. Whenever you leave the house, put some ham or beef in your pocket so you don’t go hungry. Never mind about fruit or veg or bread or one of the other food groups. Just a piece of meat is all you need to snack on.

(me, not meat)

People
Johnny Nash “I Can See Clearly Now”
“I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone”
Yes, she has been standing right in front of us for too long now.

real lyric = “I can see clearly now the rain has gone”

Shakira – Underneath Your Clothes
“There’s the man I chose, there’s my tellytubbie”
Which tellytubbie is it that she’s in love with? Tinky winky? La la? Dipsy wipsy? Po? Po – that’s it, that’s his name? All the others have double name and he’s just called Po. I mean, what the fuck? Also, what the hell do they have on their heads? One of them has a coat hanger on his head. Is that the scariest kids show ever? It’s like some dystopian post-apocalyptic world in which people have become biomechanical mutants fused with television screens, and they have to go inside regularly to escape the radiation from the sun. And Shakira is in love with one of them?
I’m not sure he’s technically a man.

real lyrics = there’s my territory

Foo Fighters – Hero
“There goes my hero, he’s odd and hairy”
Fair enough. Many of my heroes are odd and hairy. Nothing wrong with being odd and hairy. Jesus was odd and hairy, so was John Lennon, and Bob Marley and Obi Wan Kenobi and Chewbacca and sasquatch and many of the other people I look up to. In fact, Dave Grohl is rather odd and hairy too. Nothing wrong with that lyric.

real lyric = he’s ordinary

The Weather Girls – It’s Raining Men
“Israeli Men! Halleluia!”
Wow, they really love Israeli men! I wonder what’s so great about Isreali men? They’re hard working, they’re good with money, they have a sense of humour. What’s not to like about Israeli men! I totally get it!

(It’s raining men)

Olivia Newton John – Grease Melody
“You’d better shave Bob, ‘cos I need a man”
This may be one of my favourite misheard lyrics. She really needs a man, so you’d better prepare Bob! Get Bob ready – shave him, grease him up, because she needs a man!

(You’d better shape up)

Metallica – The God That Failed
“Held back by Jimmy Nail, on the garden rail”
Another favourite. I just love the idea that British actor and singer Jimmy Nail is holding you back, on the garden rail too, and that Metallica wrote a song about it. Why is Jimmy Nail holding you back, and in the garden? Maybe there’s been a family argument at a barbecue, and maybe you got into an argument with your brother in law. Perhaps resentment has been boiling over for some time, and you really don’t like the way he talks to your wife or your sister or whatever, and at the barbecue he got drunk and started insulting the family, and you just got furious because you’d had a few too many drinks too and you were ready to punch his teeth down his throat, but Jimmy Nail was there and he’s a reasonable man. He held you back against the garden rail and talked you out of it, in that nice soft Geordie accent he’s got. “Nah man, it’s not worth it man. Leave it man, you just gonna make your life more difficult man. Not now anyway. Wait until later when the kids are asleep man”

(The healing hand held back by the deepened nail. Follow the god that failed.)

Rude Stuff
Moody Blues – Question
“Learn as we grow old the secret of assholes”
Maybe when we are older and wiser we will finally understand the secret of arseholes – why they smell so much, why they itch sometimes and all the other secrets that they contain.

(the secret of our souls)

White Stripes – Blue Orchid
“You got an erection”
***By the way, I’ve just realised that Jack and Meg were a couple, and not brother and sister.***
It sounds like an argument. Jack White seems jealous. Maybe he’s questioning whether you fancy his sister, because he’s quite protective of his sister. You were at band practice and she was on the drums and she’s… well, she’s quite jiggly when she’s on the drums. She’s quite generous, as a drummer and as a woman… if you know what I mean… I mean, she’s got big tits ok? So, you fancy her and you’re at band practice and she’s all jiggly and you’ve had a beer and you’re feeling a bit excited, and Jack says – “Hey man you wanna play bass” and you really do want to play bass and he knows it, but you’re like “No man I think I’ll just stay sitting here on the sofa for a while I don’t really want to play bass right now” and he looks at his sister Meg and then back to you and says “What the fuck dude? We need a bass player – you play bass. You were saying yesterday how much you can’t wait to play bass and now you’re just sitting there the whole time just watching. DO you want to play bass or what?” And you look at Meg for a moment and back to him, “No man, it’s fine I’ll play bass later, I just, I’ll just stay sitting here for a few minutes and then I’ll play bass ok?” Jack seems pissed off but they carry on playing, and Meg keeps playing and she looks at you sometimes and kind of smiles and you definite;y can’t stand up now because she smiled at you and she knows and you know, and Jack knows what’s going on… and then after the band practice, after Meg has left and you and Jack are in the pub, Jack says “Dude, what the fuck man? Why didn’t you play bass earlier – you just stayed in your seat staring at Meg. It’s was so… awkward.” and you’re like, “Whatever man, I just wasn’t feeling it” and he was like, “You just stayed sitting on that sofa the whole time, and you kept looking at Meg while she was playing drums.” and then his eyes widen like he’s realised something, and he says “YOU GOT AN ERECTION! YOU GOT AN ERECTION DIDN’T YOU! I KNEW IT YOU BASTARD! YOU FANCY MY SISTER! Right, you’re out of the band.”
I’m sure that’s what happened.

(Real lyrics = you got a reaction)

Nirvana – Lithium
“I’m so horny, that’s ok my willy’s good”
Sometimes it’s difficult when you’re turned on, like int eh last situation in which you got an erection at the White Stripes band practice and Jack White chucked you out of the band.
But sometimes when you’re with a girl and you’re feeling really horny, it can get embarrassing. If you know you’re going to get it on – sometimes as a man you start to worry about performing, about the performance. you think – I hope I’m able to do this right and it’s not going to be embarrassing. I hope I don’t have any problems in the trouser department. But then you think “That’s ok, my willy’s good!” If your willy is good, it’s probably a relief to realise that. Apparently that was the situation with Kurt Cobain. I’ve always related to him, in so many ways…

Smoking Weed
Fleetwood Mac – You Can Go Your Own Way
“You can grow your own weed”
While technically you can grow your own weed, you probably shouldn’t, because it’s illegal, and it’s hard to get good results – you need the right seed varieties, plenty of sunlight and all that… But generally, don’t do drugs kids, ok?
(You can go your own way)

Beatles – I Wanna Hold your Hand
“I get high”
The whole Beatles meet Bob Dylan and he introduces them to “tea” story.
(I can’t hide)

Random Stuff

Dido – White Flag
“I won’t poke my eyes out and surrender”
No, please don’t do that. It’s absolutely unnecessary. Nobody is asking you to do that.
(I won’t put my hands up and surrender)

N-SYCH – It’s Gonna be Me
“It’s gonna be May”
So, when’s the wedding going to be?
So, when’s the beginning of spring this year?
So, what’s month is it going to be after April this year? “It’s gonna be May” – oh, so the same as usual then?
(It’s gonna be me)

Kings of Leon – Sex on Fire
“Wooo hooo dyslexics on fire”
Oh my god – put them out quick! Who set fire to the dyslexics! Why would you do that? Just because they have trouble spelling, it doesn’t mean… No of course you shouldn’t set fire to anyone! Even dyslexic people!
(real lyrics = “this sex is on fire”)

Def Leperd – Pour some sugar on me
“Living like a lover with a red iPhone”
How did they have iPhones back in the 80s. And why does having a red one make you a lover?
(real – Livin’ like a lover with a radar phone) ??

Macy Gray – Try
“I wore goggles when you are not here”
Quite a thing to admit – that when you’re not around I wore googles. Why? Why are you doing that Macy? Is it a fetish or something? To be honest, it wasn’t that clear to me that you’ve been wearing googles when I’m not around. Sure, I did notice those marks around your head and eyes, like lines in your skin that, now that I think of it, look a lot like the outline of a pair of googles, I just always thought you were just weird looking. That’s all it was. I thought that you just had a weird face.
(My world crumbles when you are not here)

330. Let’s Play… Grand Theft Auto 5 (and learn some English while doing it)

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Hi listeners – this is a multitasking episode in which I record a podcast while doing something else at the same time. In this case I’m playing the classic computer game “Grand Theft Auto 5”. Listen to hear some general discussion of the game, descriptions of what’s happening while playing and some other bits and pieces. Transcripts & Vocabulary Extracts Available. Enjoy :)

[DOWNLOAD]

Introduction – Men can’t multitask, really?

Here’s another episode in which I talk to you and teach you some English while doing something else at the same time. It’s another multitasking episode. Last time I did this I was cooking dinner while recording the podcast. I’ve done others before in which I was either driving or just walking around somewhere and talking to you at the same time. I’m doing this again today because I hope it will be an interesting episode of the podcast, but also as some sort of ongoing mission to prove that men are in fact able to multitask, unlike the fairly commonly-held view that we actually are not able to do several things at the same time.

I do think men can multi-task, despite the fact that people often say that we can’t. Of course we’re capable of doing two things at the same time. Just think, for example, of David Beckham who must be an expert at multitasking, because not only does he have to play football really well, but he has to look handsome while he’s doing it! Or consider Liam Neeson in the film “Taken” who has to punch people’s teeth down their throat with the edge of his hand, and be a good father at the same time. So, it’s clearly possible.

To be honest, I think that this myth of men not being able to multitask probably comes from the fact that there is one situation in which we definitely can’t do it, and that’s when we try to complete a task while also listening to a wife or girlfriend.

Because when your wife is talking to you, you have to stop everything and focus! We can’t multitask in that situation because if you’re not concentrating and you miss something then it will come back to you later, when she remembers and you forget and then you’re in trouble!

So, “men can’t mulitask” and “men don’t listen” are closely linked to each other I think. It’s not that we can’t multitask, it’s just that listening to you is already a kind of multitasking – because not only do we have to understand what you’re saying, we also have to identify important bits of information which might get dropped into the conversation – clues about what you want for your birthday, indications about how you feel about certain people, basically – anything that could go into the “I told you” category. The “I told you” category is obviously a category of information that your wife or girlfriend has told you, but for which you have absolutely no memory. It could be, for example, like this:
“I’m going to the football tonight babe, ok?”
“But it’s our half anniversary tonight”
“What?”
“It’s our half anniversary”
“Half anniversary for which day? When we met or, when we…?!
“Babe! I told you!”

Now, this might be followed by “You never listen to me”.

For example,
“It’s our half anniversary of six months since our previous anniversary – I told you!”
“Umm, no you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did – you never listen to me!”

“…Sorry, what did you say? I wasn’t listening…”

So, it’s important to listen to your partner to prevent this kind of thing. Which is why women think men can’t multitask. We just can’t listen to you, and do something else at the same time.

For example, you’re doing the shopping, trying to buy the right food so you can prove that you’re able to buy the right food.
Your girlfriend calls you, and you answer the phone because you love her.
She then starts talking to you about nothing in particular.
Stop shopping. Just stop.
Stop what you’re doing.
Put that grapefruit down and listen.
This might seem like a meaningless conversation.
She might just be calling you because she’s finished work and she likes to call you as she’s walking to the bus stop.
She might be speaking to you while buying some bread in the bakery, or even while speaking to a colleague in the street.
But you still have to concentrate on every word she says, or you might miss fluffy the cat’s birthday or something and then you’ll be in trouble.
Because if you continue shopping, and try to make fresh fruit choices while talking to her – either you’ll miss something vital or you’ll seem distant and not fully involved in the conversation and she’ll say “What are you doing?” and you’ll have to say, “I’m buying some grapefruits – you know the pink ones you like” and she’ll say “Can’t you do that and listen to me too?”
NO. Actually.
No I can’t.
And now men can’t multitask.
David Beckham can’t buy fruit and talk to Victoria about the kids at the same time. Neither can Messi or Ronaldo or any of those other over-paid multitaskers.

Even RAF fighter pilots who are the best multitaskers in the world, are probably standing in supermarkets right now not doing anything, on the phone to their wives, because they love them.

So anyway, maybe men can multitask, maybe they can’t. Maybe we’ll find out in this episode.

This could be a series, perhaps called the multitasking series

Last time I cooked a chicken dinner and taught you some words for cooking. That was quite popular and I had a few comments from listeners about it, and even a couple of suggestions for other episodes I could do. For example I had a message from Ethan Lee from South Korea who said on Twitter, “I enjoyed the cooking episode a lot. Why don’t u try another thing like house cleaning? Looking fwd to it! Cheers!”

OK, so now I’m getting requests to do the housework on Twitter as well as at home. Only kidding…

That would be great Ethan because I’d be able to teach you all the language we use for cleaning, like “rub, wipe, rinse” etc – but the only problem is, I’d actually have to do some cleaning, and… I hate doing the housework, but then again maybe that could be a really good way of getting things done – just making mundane acts of housework into episodes of my podcast. There are so many possibilities for new episodes! Luke does the ironing while talking about clothes and fabrics (while trying not to burn the clothes – my wife told me to say that), Luke cleans the windows while teaching you some phrases about glass. Luke builds some IKEA furniture while teaching you some of the most commonly used swear words in the most authentic way possible. So many ideas…

Well, this time, rather than doing the housework, or doing something else useful, I’m playing a game on my new PLayStation 3. I’m going to play Grand Theft Auto 5, and while I’m playing I’m going to just describe everything I’m doing in the game, and also just ramble on about the whole GTA phenomenon (and it is a phenomenon – the series has made over 220 million dollars worldwide, which is quite a lot of money – I think it’s officially a lot of money), and anything else that occurs to me during the episode.

So, in terms of language teaching in this episode

I’ll just see what comes up while I’m playing – you know, I’m just going to kick back and see what happens (really cool English teacher character – yeah, we’ve got no agenda today, so close your book – let’s just stick on GTA5 and see what language stuff happens… yeah, chill out, no homework today – just a DVD…) but I will aim to explain and highlight certain expressions in English as I talk to you.

I expect the language that you’re going to hear in this one will fall into these categories

– General vocabulary for playing a game, with verbs such as ‘start up’, ‘plug in’, ‘unplug’ and so on
– Phrases for describing what is happening, so that means vocabulary of movement, phrases for navigating around the city, travelling, describing dramatic action, accidents, violence, explosions, shootings, murder – just the usual things that happen in a normal game of GTA5
– Exclamations of surprise, shock, anger, tension (yes, there may be some swearing)
– Ways of describing the gaming experience, such as the emotions and feelings you experience while doing it
– Ways of commenting on the game as a cultural phenomenon – so, some fancy language for discussing how games fit into society, and the usual arguments about violent computer games like this

I have done a full episode on computer games before in which I go through a history of gaming and discuss some of the issues around the subject. Click here to check that out.

The microphone should pic up some background noise while I’m doing this, which I hope should provide some context.

So, let’s go!

Things to say

– Explain the point of the game for people who have never played it.
What type of game is it?
What’s the objective?
What’s the story?
What do you actually do?
How does it work?

– It’s many things – a kind of pulp gangster movie, a sandbox game, a collection of mini-games, an online playground, a very controversial franchise and a work of social satire

– The history of the GTA franchise
It’s a British game!
Originally created by DMA Design – a games company based in Edinburgh Scotland!
DMA created Lemmings and some other games like Uniracers and Body Harvest before creating GTA for the PC and PlayStation consoles. DMA was bought by Rockstar Games – another British company based in London. Later Rockstar games was bought by Take-Two games, based in NYC. So, GTA is a British/American production. The games have all been developed by British game developers, and marketed by American companies.
GTA – 1997
GTA London 1999
GTA 2 1999
DMA became Rockstar North when it was acquired by London company Rockstar Games
GTA 3 2001
GTA – Vice City 2002
GTA – San Andreas 2004
Various GTA games for handheld franchises
GTA 4 2008
GTA 5 2013

– Controversy
According to The Guinness World Records 2008 and 2009 Gamer’s Edition, it is the most controversial video game series in history, with over 4,000 articles published about it, which include accusations of glamorising violence, corrupting gamers, and connection to real life crimes.

– The violence in the game. Is it ok? Or is there something wrong with this?

– The satirical elements of the game

– Some fun things to do while playing
* escaping from the cops
* causing total mayhem
* blowing things up
* driving through the hills
* stealing different vehicles
* skydiving
* going up Mount Chiliad
* diving in the sea
* setting challenges for your friends
* starting a gang war

– How it feels to play it for an extended period of time

– What might happen with the GTA franchise in the future (combining this with google maps, Oculous Rift, social networking, bitcoins – we could have a fully immersive, virtual reality earth in which we go round doing whatever we want, with no consequence – a world that has its own currency, but which has almost no boundaries)

Extracts with Vocabulary For This Episode (Thanks to Jack from the comment section)

They are read out by professional actors.
So why not instead of reading your next book; choose to kick back put your headphones on and let some professional actor read the story to you.
……so essentially it’s a free audio book for you.
Now lets get down to this new episode and here we go !
The microphone sound might be a bit different today because I’m using a different arrangement.
…….unlike the commonly held view that we are actually not able to do several things at the same time.
…..not only does he have to play football really well…..
Or consider liam neeson in the film taken who has to punch people’s teeth down their throat with the edge of his hand and also be a good father at the same time.
Myth
……important bits of information which might get subtly dropped into the conversation……
You are doing the shopping…..
Put that grapefruit down and listen.
If you try to make fresh fruit choices…..
Vital
I’m buying some grapefruits.
Over-paid multitaskers
Even a couple of suggestions for other eoisodes that I could do.
Housework
Rub
Wipe
Rinse
Just making mundane acts of housework into episodes of my podcast….
Iron
Luke builds some IKEA furniture while teaching you some commonly used swear words.
It might be the best game ever created.
The GTA phenomenon
It’s one of the biggest entertainment franchises in the world.
I’ll kind of give you a running commentary…
I’m going to kick back and see what happens.
We’ve got no agenda in the lesson today so close your books let’s just stick on GTA 5 and see what kind of language stuff happens. Chill out no home work today.
……exclamations of surprise or shock or anger…….
I might just spontaneously come out with some swearing.
Pedestrians
I have the microphone resting on the coffee table in front of me and I also have my laptop on the table too so when I type on the laptop you can hear the vibrations coming through the microphone.
The microphone should pick up some background noise while I’m doing this.
……if I tap the table or bump into something (I hope) that that doesn’t disturb you much.
I do hope that the background noise should provide some context to what’s going on in the game as I play it.
I just don’t have the facility to record this.
……stick it in your computer…..
Get a video camera and point it at the TV.
Just make sure my TV is turned on.
OK! Get a grip Luke! Stop dropping the microphone.
I’ve just started up my PlayStation
I’m now going to hit the x button on my gamepad.
That’s just a sound in the background for one of the kind of idents for rockstar games.
To skip through something
Or you have had some experience with this game.
Large open world sand box game.
Usually you start out as low-level crook.
Each one has its own narrative.
Heists
Shoot your way out of the bank
Extravagant way.
……you load up GTA 5
…..follow different missions as part if the narrative of the game.
Ex-gangster
Ex-mafia
Family man
Witness protection
He’s going through therapy
Dragged back into the criminal underworld.
Ghetto
Repossess vehicles
Repo man
He joins up with Michael.
Franklin learns the ropes from Michael.
He’s completely unpredictable.
For 10 years Trevor has thought that Michael is dead.
Trevor lives in the sticks. (Country side)
Trailor park.
Extortion
And to work out what’s going on
I’m not sure how far into the game I’m.
He lives in a nice big mansion in the foothills of Hollywood.
A replica of Hollywood
Based on Los Angeles
You get the downtown areas of los Angeles you get upmarket areas of Beverly hills.
Districts
…….names of celebrities engraved in the ground.
Wilderness
A living breathing city
…..going about their general business.
……all sorts of people just milling around…..
I’ve just got into Michael’s car.
I’m going to switch off the radio so that there is less distraction…..
You can hear general street noises, the engine as it’s driving along.
The sun is just going down.
The level of light changes
Woops! I just crashed into a BMW.
I’m in the middle of setting up a mission.
Trying not to crash into too many people.
I’m going to create some mayhem…..
You can hear the tyres screeching
The skidding sounds of the tyres
I just ran into a pedestrian
Commit some kind of crime.
…. shooting someone from within the car.
Lawsuits
Arguments about this game.
You might have strong feelings about that.
It is horribly violent
The game is very tongue-in-cheek.
Disposability of modern American culture.
Satire
I’m a law-abiding citizen in the real world.
It doesn’t mean we are sick and twisted.
Creative and wholesome
To create music
Grow crops
There are games that are all nice and fluffy…..
Wholesome values
Blow up cars
Drive your motorbike off the bridge.
I’ve dealt with the ethical stuff.
Simulation
The brain is designed with many different sorts of electrical frame works.
It basically operates like a human would operate.
When does AI cease to be an object and when does it start to become a person in its own right….
Interesting philosophical situation
The violence is so colourful; disgusting.
Having very up close and personal fights with the enemy.
Comical
I happen to driving at the moment some dodgy car.
An estate car
Boot
Hatchback
Attract the attention of the police
The police will start to follow you…..
Some police will be searching for you
Helicopters with machine guns
Swat teams with guys wearing armour….
Military
Jeeps
Armed tanks to come and get you down.
If you bump into a police car; they will then chase you down and hunt you down and kill you.
Traffic violations
Over the top
Gun friendly states in the USA
Over reacting
They will be driving after you
Drive after you shooting you with machine guns.
I’m fed up with this family car
I just shot him down in cold blood. That was mean and violent.
I’ll shoot the police car
I’ll go on a rampage
I’m going to shoot up some cars here.
I just shot up a car
They have knocked the bloody door off ! (You are not supposed to knock the bloody doors off of a Jaaaaag. Stupid traffic!)
The Jaguar has been ripped off by an ambulance.
Drive up into the hills
They will now aggressively hunt me down.
They are pretty full on!
They set up police road blocks for you
They put down stingers down on the ground
If you drive over the stingers then the tires on your cars will burst and it will be much harder to drive away.
I’ve just driven off a cliff; luckily I’ve landed on my wheels.
I’ve got helicopter in the sky which is also following me.
To escape from the police
I’m going to get shot.
Driving across the grass in the hills.
The police can’t follow me – They stick to the roads.
The police have lost me.
I’m going to lose the police.
I’m over the top of this hill; the landscape.
It’s a very misty morning
Haze
Silhouettes of the mountains
Stunts
I’m crashing my car down the mountain.
The dynamics in the are amazing.
Physics
The damage mechanics are amazing.
Collisions
The car gets dented.
The windows smash
The doors can fall off
The bumpers can fall off
That is messed up
Could you give me a lift home? I don’t want to walk home on my own.
She is just staying off Signora road
You can pick up people in taxis
Across the hills
It’s pretty weird and humorous.
Social satire
Narsicisst
It’s basically a big piss-take on modern consumer culture
American consumerism
Celebrity culture.
She didn’t seemed to be bothered.
It is a modern phenomenon in popular culture.
Give you a little account to the history of Grand Theft Auto.
DMA designed lemmings.
Unicycle
Original forerunner to the 3D version of Grand Theft Auto.
Police chase videos.
Quite dramatic chases as you see from above.
Sick humour
….. young people feel disenfranchised and powerful and they seek to express themselves by using guns…..
It’s very convenient to point the finger at computer games……
Although saying that maybe there are some individuals who are not very stable…..
Cathartic experience.
Afterwards you feel exhilarated
It put you in London in 1969
They really have their finger on the pulse of modern culture.
We are going to skip through some radio stations
Reggie music station
Cycle through music stations.
Soul music
Rock music
Punk music
RnB gangsta music
Country music and rockabilly
Hip Hop
Turn the volume down on the TV so that it doesn’t disturb us too much.
…….they brought out GTA 2.
……. they had a very ambitious approach to GTA 3.
They really wanted to push it into overdrive.
Some GTA games were brought out for the hand held franchise.
And in 2008 GTA 4 came out which was like another big step because it became a lot more nuanced.
It’s a sprawling gaming world.
……which include accusations of glamorizing violence…..
I don’t like when people give me the finger.
I’m going to have to go closer in order to gun this guy down…..
I’ve got three stars on me; I think it’s time to run away from the police
…. You have got to escape by driving into the tunnel.
I’ve a rocket launcher in my arsenal. In my arsenal.
Arsenal ( collection of weapons)
Police have set up a road block for me.
I got shot in the back by a cop…..
Shit! I have been talking for an hour and twenty seven minutes! That is insane! I had no idea that it had gone on for this long.
I have got the rocket launcher. I’ve pulled it out of my arsenal.
The car that was behind me ran me over.
Heinous acts of ultra violence on the streets of Los Santos.
I’m going to equip my machine gun.
Let’s wait for the cavalry to arrive.
I’m going to drive away as quick as possible.
They chase after you and they try to shoot out your tires.
I’ve crashed into the wall
The front part of my car has fallen off
I’m determined to do it even though I have got only 3 tyres.
There’s a swarm of police on my tail.
You can hear the scraping sound. (Wheel arch hitting the ground)
Mountain lions
I’m going to make a run for it.
I’ve hot wired the car.
I’m driving through the winding country roads…….
Just did a huge jump off the mountain.
Train tracks
I’m going to use the map to find the nearest train tracks.
I can drive the train track into the tunnel………
The car is in terrible condition. It has rolled down the mountain several times.
I need to drive over this hill and then I’ll be able to access train tracks.
A big lump of my car just fell off.
Can you hear some dramatic music?
Just at the mouth of the tunnel I’m going to get out.
I’m now on foot.
I’m going to go out by being run down by a moving train.
I got run over by the train – I think that is a fitting end to this podcast.
I have just walked out of the hospital. Apparently they managed to fix me up.

Thanks Jack!

329. A Rambling Chat with James (News, Stories & Jokes)

29 Replies

My brother has been visiting me in Paris this week and so just the other day I made him a cup of tea and got him on the podcast for a rambling chat. We talk about lots of different things including news, politics and some funny stories. I hope you enjoy the conversation. There will be more episodes about language learning coming soon.

[DOWNLOAD]

In this episode you’ll hear us discussing these things

What we’ve been up to in Paris this week
Jim’s first stand up comedy performance
Last Thursday’s performance of “Sorry, we’re English” with Paul Taylor
Differences between Paris and London
Some UK politics about the EU referendum
Some USA politics about the presidential elections and candidates like Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton and Bernie Sanders
Other news stories about drones, eagles, mosquitos and why women yawn more than men
Jim’s ‘talking dog’ joke
Jim’s dog anecdote

That’s it!

Thanks for listening!

Luke

318. The Lying Game 2: The Rematch (Part 2) with Amber & Paul

37 Replies

Welcome back to The Lying Game 2: The Rematch (Part 2). In this episode you can hear Amber, Paul and me continue our competitive game. Who’s going to win this time? Will it be Paul, finally? Listen to find out what happens, and for details of the next version of the lying game which will be interactive.

[DOWNLOAD]

Spoiler alert! The scores and results of the games in this episode are displayed below!

Current scores
Luke – 1 / 0 /
Paul – 0 / 2 /
Amber – 1 / 0 /

Amber: I have recurring dreams about fish in distress

Score
Luke – 1 / 0 / 1
Paul – 0 / 2 / 0
Amber – 1 / 0 / 1

Tie break round:
Luke: I have a large scar on my knee.
Paul: I once nearly stabbed myself in the eye with a kitchen knife.
Amber: I went for a job interview as a lapdancer.

Final scores
Luke – 1 / 0 / 1 / 1 / 0 / 0 Total = 3
Paul – 0 / 2 / 0 / 0 / 1 / 0 Total = 3
Amber – 1 / 0 / 1 / 1 / 1 / 2 Total = 6

Amber wins again!

Next Lying Game – The Interactive Version

Listen to Luke, Paul and Amber say statements.
You have to ask the questions.
So, read the statements below and think of some questions.
Write your questions in the comments section of this episode.
When we record again we’ll ask your questions.
Then, eventually, you can vote on whether you think the statements are true or lies.

Luke: I accidentally knocked down a wall in a friend’s house in Japan.
Paul: I used to get bullied by Guy Berryman, the bass player from Coldplay.
Amber: I helped in the making of the film “Something’s Got To Give”.

Write your questions in the comments section for the next episode of The Lying Game!

317. The Lying Game 2: The Rematch (Part 1) with Amber & Paul

27 Replies

Welcome to LEP. I hope you’re well, I hope you’re fine. This episode of the podcast is a rematch of the lying game with Amber, Paul and me. Check below for show notes and other links.

[DOWNLOAD]
A couple of announcements before we go further.
Thanks for your photos for the LEP photo competition. This is a chance for you to send in your photos for a chance to win some LEP merchandise including mugs, t-shirts and bags. You can still send your photos to podcastcomp@gmail.com, until 15 January 2016. Your photo should show the environment in which you listen to LEP. Feel free to get creative. The only rule is that there has to be some evidence that you’re listening. E.g. a headphone in the photo somewhere. The idea is for us all to see the different situations that people are in while they listen. Once all the photos have been sent in I’ll display them in a mural on the website and you can pick the one you like the most.

Please do take my business English survey.
Just go to the menu and you’ll find it under the contacts button.

A note on subscribing by email.
On the right under the logo you’ll see a field that says SUBSCRIBE BY EMAIL. Put your email address in and click subscribe. Then check your inbox to confirm the subscription. Then you’ll receive an email every time I publish a new episode, and you’ll get direct access to the page for the episode, with all the show notes, videos, transcripts and other stuff.

Thanks also for different comments I’ve had recently. It’s awesome to hear from you all. You now have the option to send me voice messages. There’s a button on the side. Click it, get your mic ready and send me a message. It could be a comment or a question. I’ll receive it in my inbox and I might play it in an episode of the podcast, especially if you ask a good question.

OK, so now let’s get down to business.

This episode is called “The Rematch”.

It’s one of those episodes that involves a competitive game between Amber, Paul and me. In the last one of these, called The Lying Game, this happened:
The scores were level between Luke and Paul.
Even stevens.
They then played a tie-breaker.
Luke told a story about the tooth fairy.
Paul talked about burning down his house.
Luke identified it.

Since then, it has come to light that I may have cheated. I swear that I didn’t, but some clever listeners noted that a story Paul told in The Lying Game was one he’d already told on the podcast before. So, I admit that a rematch is necessary, and here it is. This is The Lying Game 2: The Rematch.

Do you remember the rules of The Lying Game? They go like this:
One person says a statement, it can be true or a lie. Then the others ask lots of questions to investigate the story. Then they decide if they think it’s a lie or the truth, justifying their responses. Then the truth is revealed. If a competitor gets it right, they get a point. If a competitor gets it wrong a point is awarded to the storyteller.

So, this is the rematch. We’re going to play another round of The Lying Game. Listen carefully to the stories and the questions and try to predict if they are lies or the truth.

Also, listen all the way to the end of the second episode to hear about a new interactive version of the lying game that we plan to play next time, and that will involve your input. We’ll tell you about that at the end of part 2.

At the beginning of this episode you’ll hear us chatting a bit about our recent news including a couple of stories about doing comedy shows, Amber shares something about an interesting podcast she listened to, and Paul tells a story about how a girl lost one of her teeth on stage during a comedy performance recently. After our little ramble chat we then get properly into the lying game, which will continue in part 2 of this episode.

So, yes I am glad to say that Amber and Paul are on another episode of the podcast, so let’s get started, here we go.

*Jingle*

Round 1: Statements
Luke: I once hit a teacher when I was at school.
Paul: I nearly died in a car accident.
Amber: (story in part 2)

Scores at the end of part 1:

Luke – 1 / 0 /
Paul – 0 / 2 /
Amber – 1 / 0 /

Paul is winning as we end the episode.

Listen to part 2 to find out what happens next.

316. British Comedy: Tim Vine (Part 2)

30 Replies

Listen to Luke explain the rest of Tim Vine’s stand up routine from the video “One Night Stand”. Learn some natural phrases and bridge the linguistic and cultural gap between you and native speakers of English. Click here to listen to part 1 of this episode. Watch the video below.

[DOWNLOAD]
Photo Competition
Send your photos to podcastcomp@gmail.com

Business English Survey
Click here to take the survey.

British Comedy: Tim Vine (part 2)
In episode 313 I played you part of a ten minute stand up routine by Tim Vine, who is a much loved British stand up comedian who specialises in telling one liners – those are very short jokes which usually involve some kind of word-play.
I played you 3 minutes of Tim’s routine.
I expect you didn’t get all the jokes.
I explained them all for you.
I expect you still didn’t find them all funny because explaining a joke often kills the humour of the joke.
BUT at least you learned a lot of language in the process.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: it’s difficult to understand jokes in another language. You might go to a comedy show or watch it on TV and everyone else laughs but you’re the only one who has no clue what’s going on. This is because there’s a linguistic and cultural gap between you and everyone else who gets the jokes. Maybe it’s hard for you to hear exactly what’s been said as the lines of a joke are usually delivered quickly and with naturalistic speech patterns. Also, there’s the general cultural difference, which includes certain reference points but also the general mindset of British humour, like the fact that we enjoy laughing at ourselves, and we also enjoy the ironic fun of self-consciously bad jokes. I’m interested in closing that linguistic and cultural gap. The result, I hope, will be that you’ll learn some key bits of language and culture, and you’ll be a few steps closer to understanding natural British English like a native speaker.

In episode 313 I promised that I’d play you all of Tim Vine’s routine and explain it all. In fact, I only managed to get through 3 minutes in that episode. You might be wondering – what about the rest of Tim Vine’s routine? I want to understand that too! Well, that’s what I’m going to do now. In fact, I had one Japanese listener in particular who was very keen to hear me explain the rest of the routine. I’m sorry – I can’t remember your name or how you got in contact with me – it could have been an email, a FB message, a comment on the website, a tweet or some other way. I can’t keep up with the different ways people contact me sometimes – so if you don’t get a reply, I’m very sorry. My email address and other inboxes are often completely swamped by different notifications and messages. I do read everything, but then I don’t always get the chance to immediately respond, and then the message just gets forgotten about. So, I’m sorry if you have contacted me and I haven’t replied.

Anyway, this particular listener was quite desperate to understand the rest of Tim Vine’s routine, so here we go.

Bear in mind that there are some visual jokes in the routine and you’ll have to watch the video to really get them. I’ll explain it all for you step by step in just a moment. This routine is about 10 minutes in total. We’ll start by listening to the first 3 minutes again, which should work as a reminder of what you heard before. Then I’ll let you listen to the next 3 minutes, then I’ll pause it and explain everything before letting you hear the rest of the routine with my explanations.

OK? Got it? OK, let’s go. And remember, if you don’t understand anything at all – just hang in there because all will be explained in the fullness of time.

Let’s go. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome onto the stage again, the one and only, Mr Tim Vine – let’s hear it for Tim Vine everybody! Take it away Tim!!!

Full video: Tim Vine – One Night Stand

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Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast

Learn British English with Luke Thompson

Category Archives: Comedy

343. The Interactive Lying Game (with Amber & Paul) / Descriptive Adjectives with T / Three is a Magic Number

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Click the box below to jump to the polls and cast your votes.

Just in case you don’t know what the lying game is (and that’s the lying game not the lion game), let me bring you up to speed.

Oh yes, the lying game.

Here are the rules of the game

The scores so far

The Interactive Lying Game – The Rules

THE STATEMENTS AGAIN

Amber: I helped in the making of the film “Something’s Got To Give”
Luke: I accidentally knocked down a wall in a friend’s house in Japan
Paul: I used to get bullied by Guy Berryman, the bass player from Coldplay

QUESTIONS FOR AMBER

QUESTIONS FOR LUKE

QUESTIONS FOR PAUL

David Beckham’s greasy curtains

Go Greased Lightning!

WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO THE POLL AND ADD YOUR COMMENTS

AMBER, PAUL & LUKE – THE PODPALS – NICKNAMES & ACRONYMS

OK, THERE’S NO NICKNAME POLL – Just add your suggestions in the comment section please :)

Song: Three is a Magic Number by Bob Dorough

I was interviewed by Olly Richards on his podcast, called “I Will Teach You a Language” and we talked about language learning

It’s episode 90 👇

333. More Misheard Lyrics ♬

330. Let’s Play… Grand Theft Auto 5 (and learn some English while doing it)

Introduction – Men can’t multitask, really?

This could be a series, perhaps called the multitasking series

So, in terms of language teaching in this episode

I expect the language that you’re going to hear in this one will fall into these categories

Things to say

Extracts with Vocabulary For This Episode (Thanks to Jack from the comment section)

329. A Rambling Chat with James (News, Stories & Jokes)

In this episode you’ll hear us discussing these things

316. British Comedy: Tim Vine (Part 2)

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Click the box below to jump to the polls and cast your votes.

Just in case you don’t know what the lying game is (and that’s the lying game not the lion game), let me bring you up to speed.

Oh yes, the lying game.

Here are the rules of the game

The scores so far

The Interactive Lying Game – The Rules

THE STATEMENTS AGAIN

Amber: I helped in the making of the film “Something’s Got To Give” Luke: I accidentally knocked down a wall in a friend’s house in Japan Paul: I used to get bullied by Guy Berryman, the bass player from Coldplay

QUESTIONS FOR AMBER

QUESTIONS FOR LUKE

QUESTIONS FOR PAUL

David Beckham’s greasy curtains

Go Greased Lightning!

WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO THE POLL AND ADD YOUR COMMENTS

AMBER, PAUL & LUKE – THE PODPALS – NICKNAMES & ACRONYMS

OK, THERE’S NO NICKNAME POLL – Just add your suggestions in the comment section please :)

Song: Three is a Magic Number by Bob Dorough

Transcript for the intro and outro to this episode

Intro

In this episode I’m joined again by podcast pals Amber and Paul

Where were we?

A bit of language analysis – Paul’s long sentence – using ‘which’

*conversation starts*

Watch Paul’s Video about “La Bise”

A France24 TV news report about Paul

Outro – Transcript

Accents

Using Apps to listen to this podcast

Who are Amber & Paul? (Just in case you don’t already know)

Episode Contents (Here’s what you’ll hear in the episode)

COMMENTS FROM LISTENERS ABOUT AMBER & PAUL

From the Archives: Other Episodes featuring Amber & Paul

It’s episode 90 👇

Introduction – Men can’t multitask, really?

This could be a series, perhaps called the multitasking series

So, in terms of language teaching in this episode

I expect the language that you’re going to hear in this one will fall into these categories

Things to say

Extracts with Vocabulary For This Episode (Thanks to Jack from the comment section)

In this episode you’ll hear us discussing these things

Next Lying Game – The Interactive Version

Luke: I accidentally knocked down a wall in a friend’s house in Japan. Paul: I used to get bullied by Guy Berryman, the bass player from Coldplay. Amber: I helped in the making of the film “Something’s Got To Give”.

Write your questions in the comments section for the next episode of The Lying Game!

This episode is called “The Rematch”.

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Amber: I helped in the making of the film “Something’s Got To Give”
Luke: I accidentally knocked down a wall in a friend’s house in Japan
Paul: I used to get bullied by Guy Berryman, the bass player from Coldplay

conversation starts

Luke: I accidentally knocked down a wall in a friend’s house in Japan.
Paul: I used to get bullied by Guy Berryman, the bass player from Coldplay.
Amber: I helped in the making of the film “Something’s Got To Give”.