Ian Moore returns to the podcast to talk about his career shift from stand-up comedy to writing “cosy” crime novels. After several decades as a professional stand-up comedian, Ian has transitioned to writing murder mysteries. Now he is a bestselling author and his books are being adapted for television. In this episode Ian talks about ending his stand-up comedy career, why he was not suited for life as the host of a guesthouse in the French countryside, writing books on trains, and why his COVID lockdown was actually great. Includes comprehension questions and a PDF transcript.
This is a listener-generated episode, meaning that the content is mostly written by listeners of this podcast. In this one I read out various comments and messages from listeners who have improved their English with the podcast. They describe the progress they’ve made and how they did it. Expect lots of success stories and plenty of advice for improving your English in 2025.
An end-of-year rambling episode with some seasonal good wishes 🎄, comments on recent episodes 🎧, an update about upcoming content 📲, anecdotes about seeing Paul McCartney live in concert 🎸, playing music at the British Ambassador’s residence 🇬🇧 and visiting the British Library in London 📚, lots of library jokes (explained) 😂 and a vocabulary review at the end 🙇♂️. PDF available.
A conversation with my dad about his new book, which is about the history and wildlife of a famous Roman road which passes right through the heart of England. Expect stories from various periods of English history, plus descriptions of typical English bird life. English history and culture on Luke’s English Podcast.
It’s a catchy title! Episode 900 is here, and what better way to celebrate than by inviting my pals Amber & Paul back onto the podcast? Amber & Paul have been regular guests on this podcast for 10 years. We usually have light-hearted and tangential conversations and these episodes are often very popular with long-term listeners. This time we talk about Episode 900 celebrations 🎉 the title of this episode 🔁 Paris Olympics 2024 🏟️ encounters with dead animals in Paris 😢 Paul’s Olympic marathon run 🏃 the dangers of sneezing 🤧 and more…
Talking to bilingual journalist Charles Pellegrin (France 24) about how the conventions of broadcast journalism influence the way the English is used in news reports, how Charles started as a journalist, the challenge of making TV news reports, our time at university, the Olympics in Paris, and Charles’ experiences of living and working in China.
My guest today is Charles Pellegrin, a bilingual (English & French) journalist working for the TV channel France 24. Charles currently works as the presenter of a morning business program, but used to be based in China, where he lived in Beijing for 3 years. Charles also does stand-up comedy in English, which is how I know him, and we are doing a 2-man show together this Friday, 19 July 2024 (details below).
In this conversation we talk about why reporters speak in a certain way when they read the news, how the conventions of broadcast journalism influence the way the English is used, how Charles started as a journalist, the challenge of making TV news reports, our experiences at university, the Olympics in Paris and whether it will be beneficial for France, and Charles’ experiences of living and working in China.
A conversation with my brother about one of the most successful British bands of all time – Madness. We talk about the story of the band, our early memories of their music, the songs, the members, their lyrics, their popularity and why we’ve always been big fans!
Here’s a list of jokes about different countries which I found on the website Bored Panda. I’ll tell you the jokes and then explain them all (dissecting the frog), including any homophones, double meanings or specific cultural references. Can you “get” the jokes? Do you find any of them funny, or are they all just terrible dad jokes? And, what vocabulary can you learn in the process? Includes a vocabulary review at the end of the episode.
In this episode we’re going to read some jokes about different countries in the world, and I’m going to use them to help you learn English.
They’re not really jokes about countries. They’re mainly just jokes based on the country names. So I won’t be making fun of specific countries or anything.
I’ve found a list of 100 jokes.
Jokes like these…
👍
#12
Which country’s capital city is growing the fastest?
Ireland.
Because every day it’s Dublin.
doubling??
Some of these jokes are very stupid.
Some of them are terrible.
But some of them are actually pretty funny 😅
This is all just a bit of fun, but also it’s a chance to learn some vocabulary.
Before we continue, I need to make several jokes about my country: The UK
A map of the UK
It’s just there, under that huge rain storm.
More specifically, England
Football
What do you call an English man in the World Cup final?
The referee.
British Food
Well, this is how our biscuits are sold in France
C’est Anglais, mais c’est bon !
Translation:
It’s English, but it’s good.
*Actually they’re Scottish
*Actually the company is owned by a Turkish confectionery conglomerate
And I’m sure you could write plenty of jokes about our Royal Family…
But you don’t really need to
Subtext: They’re already quite funny aren’t they?
I don’t mean to be rude about our king, but apparently he has a sense of humour, so I’m sure he doesn’t mind.
cheers
Can you understand these jokes?
If you understand a joke you can say
“I get it”
If you don’t understand why it’s supposed to be funny, you’d say
“I don’t get it”
If you understand it, but you think it isn’t funny, you can just groan.
🤦
There will be VOCABULARY
I will explain every joke that you hear in this episode, including
any double meanings
any homophones (words which sound the same but which are different)
or any other little cultural details
I have only had
a very quick look
at this list of jokes.
I found this joke list on the website BoredPanda.com. There are 100 jokes in the list, but I’ve only seen about the first 15 jokes.
I haven’t seen the rest.
So I am going to be reading most of these for the first time, so let’s discover these jokes together.
Disclaimer:
This might not be funny
at all 😐
It’s necessary to say this again…
I will dissect these jokes. You might learn some English,
but the jokes will probably die in the process.
Sorry jokes, and sorry frogs.
🐸
But don’t worry. No actual frogs will be harmed during the making of this episode.
And when I say “frogs” I’m not talking about French people 🇫🇷
“Dissecting the frog” or explaining jokes is something I’ve been doing on this podcast for years.
by a listener called Evgenia
a T-shirt design by a listener called Adel (available in my merch store
England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies, “I didn’t think you needed one to get into Australia anymore.”
One day Canada will rule the world… Then you’ll all be sorry.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Why do the French eat snails? They don’t like fast food.
Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France. Just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
I asked my friend in North Korea how he was. He said he can’t complain.
Germany and France go to war. Who loses? Belgium.
What do you call a vegan Viking? A Norvegan!
How do you get a Canadian to apologize? Step on their foot.
Which country’s capital is growing the fastest? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
What does the Loch Ness monster eat? Fish and ships.
Want to hear a Swedish joke? Never mind. There’s Norway I could Finnish it.
What do frogs eat in Paris? French flies.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman enter a bar. The Englishmen wanted to go, so they all had to leave.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
Why haven’t Americans changed their weighing method from pounds to kilograms? Because they don’t want mass confusion!
How does every Russian joke start? By looking over your shoulder.
I have a Russian friend who’s a sound technician. And a Czech one too. A Czech one too.
What kind of birds can you find in Portugal? Portugeese.
What was the most popular kids’ movie in Ancient Greece? Troy Story.
What is the most common scam in Egypt? Pyramid schemes.
What happened to the American who went to the hospital with a broken leg? He went broke.
In which country is Prague located? Hold on let me Czech.
Is “Africa” by Toto a country song? No, it’s a continent song.
What did the Kiwi say to the Rabbi? Hee Broo.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
Germany once organized the International Fun Conference. It wasn’t funny but it was indeed well organized.
Two very old men of European nationality meet While talking, one asks: “You watching the football game?” The other says: “Who’s playing?” “Austria-Hungary”, says the first. “Against whom?”
An introverted Finn looks at his shoes when talking to you; an extroverted Finn looks at your shoes.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play? To get away from the noise.
Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them? So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!
How was copper wire invented? Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.
What are Greek houses made out of? Greeks and con-Crete!
Why is it hard to make friends in Antarctica? Because you can’t break the ice.
What pan is the best to make sushi in? Japan.
What will an Australian chess player say to a Czech person while making the winning move? Czech mate.
A friend in Germany tells me everyone’s panic buying sausages and cheese. It’s the Wurst Käse scenario.
What do you call a bunch of bullies from Malta? Maltesers.
Ever since my girlfriend moved to Siberia things haven’t been the same. She’s so cold and distant.
The Sahara Desert drifts into a bar and the bartender says… “Long time no sea.”
Did you hear about the Pole who thought his wife was trying to kill him? On her dressing table, he found a bottle of “Polish Remover.”
I’ve heard that Argentina is starting to get a little colder… In fact, it’s bordering on Chile.
What’s Santa’s nationality? North Polish.
What genre are national anthems? Country.
Did you hear McDonalds will stop serving fries in Switzerland? The Swiss don’t take sides.
Vocabulary List (listen to the episode for my explanations)
In international diplomacy, “communication is everything”. This is the main point of this conversation, in which I talk to my friend who works for the UK delegation at UNESCO in Paris. We discuss the work that UNESCO does, and the various communication challenges involved in working together with representatives from countries all around the world, including the collaborative writing of official documents where the use of a single comma can be debated for hours, and the meetings and conversations in which cultural sensitivity and good-will are essential elements for success. Also includes some communication idioms and guitar playing near the end of the episode.
UNESCO stands for The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization. (Wikipedia)
It is a specialized agency of the United Nations (UN) which has the aim of promoting world peace and security through international cooperation in education, arts, sciences and culture.
Perhaps the most famous thing they do is to protect certain world heritage sites, but that is only one of the things that they are involved in.
My friend works there and in this episode you’ll hear us talking about his work and about communication in the context of international diplomacy.
This is quite complex stuff actually.
Normally in these situations, when I’m publishing an episode like this, I have to make certain decisions about what to say in the introduction.
How much should I explain in advance?
What kind of support should I give to my audience before you listen?
People listening to my podcast have varying levels of English. Rather than slowing down and stopping to explain every word, I want to give you a conversation at natural speed, but explaining some context at the start can really help a lot of people. It’s not just because of English. It’s also just a question of general knowledge too.
Before I met M__, I didn’t really know a lot about what UNESCO did, and honestly, I think most people probably find it a little bit of a mystery.
So I have decided to explain one or two things here, so you are properly placed to understand all of this and therefore enjoy it and benefit most from it.
Of course I don’t want to say too much or repeat myself or anything, so I’ve written this introduction in advance to try and keep me focused, to be informative but also efficient, and then you can just get stuck into the conversation with my guest.
M__ works for the UK delegation at UNESCO, which has its headquarters in Paris by the way. The word “delegation” comes up a few times (also the word “delegate”) and that will be explained.
UNESCO HQ is in Paris – I did stand-up there once, which was weird! I was invited as part of a festival in 2019 called Paris Talks. It was a bit like a series of TED Talks, all of them serious – about the future.
***Luke talks spontaneously for a couple of minutes about doing stand-up comedy at the UNESCO HQ in Paris***
Whenever I chat to M__, if we have a drink together or something, I am always really curious about his work and I find it really fascinating. Hopefully it’ll be fascinating for you too.
So, we’re going to talk about the work that UNESCO does and the way the organisation works, but also about the different forms of communication that happen there, and this, for me as an English teacher, is perhaps the most interesting thing about it.
Imagine, nearly every nation in the world collaborating together at a government level on very important projects. Thisof course includes nation states which have different relations with each other, some friendly, some antagonistic.
Also, you’re dealing with often vastly different cultures with different communication styles and values. But you’ve got to try to work together with these different groups towards a common goal.
This involves communication at a very high level – international diplomacy. What does it take to cross these barriers of culture, politics, economics, at a state level?
Diplomatic communication is a huge part of it and working in this context requires a variety of different types of communication skills.
There’s persuasion, there’s negotiation, there’s showing respect, there’s using pressure, there’s giving compliments and expressing gratitude and it can happen in writing and in spoken English too at various levels of formality.
Imagine these different communication contexts:
Huge meetings with representatives from countries all around the world, sitting at tables with little flags on them and everyone attempting to work together to agree on certain big decisions. Sometimes they don’t want to do the same thing. There are groups that are friendly, and groups that have their differences.
The collaborative writing of very formal documents in those big meetings. These are documents which UNESCO issues – a bit like laws passed by a government (although UNESCO doesn’t actually make laws)
Smaller, less formal meetings in which different delegations attempt to build support for their proposals, with negotiations and persuasion.
Individual one on one conversations or conversations in small groups, between the more formal meetings, where representatives might stand up and chat together perhaps over coffee and a softer form of persuasion or negotiation occurs, and the building of relationships and alliances.
And the work of interpreters – who sit in other rooms, looking through windows, with headsets on, having to simultaneously translate what is being said in these important meetings from one language to another, and the quick decisions they have to make about how exactly they should word things without subtly changing the tone of what is being said. Interpreters are a huge part of this. Maybe some of you listening are considering becoming an interpreter, or maybe you already are.
How is language used in these different situations? How does the language change?
We’re talking about different levels of formality, and the pragmatics of diplomacy at this high level.
Also, what does UNESCO do exactly? How does it actually work? What does M__ actually do on a daily basis?
These are the things I was very interested in capturing in this conversation.
Before we start, here are a few more details.
Here’s some more information from Wikipedia.
UNESCO was founded in 1945 and its founding mission, which was shaped by the events of World War II, is to advance peace, sustainable development and human rights by facilitating collaboration and dialogue among nations.[10]
It pursues this objective through five major programme areas: education, natural sciences, social/human sciences, culture and communication/information.
What does it actually do? I find this quite hard to work out!
It assists in the translation and dissemination of world literature – making sure the best works of literature are available to be read by everyone, and not just in their countries of origin.
It works to bridge the worldwide digital divide (attempting to reduce disparities between developed and developing countries in terms of what technologies are available to people)
It creates inclusive knowledge societies through information and communication. By Knowledge Societies, UNESCO means societies in which people have the capabilities not just to acquire information but also to transform it into knowledge and understanding, which empowers them to enhance their livelihoods and contribute to the social and economic development of their societies. UNESCO has launched several initiatives and global movements, such as Education For All.
How does it actually do these things? As far as I can tell, they create what M__ calls “standard setting documents”.
Those are not laws because they are not legally binding but they are similar to laws because they set out guidelines on what should or should not be done.
Governments in the member states can use these standard setting documents to help them form policies and laws, in line with UNESCO’s overall objectives.
So they’re not binding legislation but these UNESCO documents are still very formally written.
M__ tells us about how this is done, at the various stages, referring to different communication contexts in the process.
This all might sound a bit dry in my descriptions, but just let me take you back to that image of the large meeting room at UNESCO with all these representatives or delegates from the different countries. Imagine you are actually there.
Imagine having to open one of those big meetings. Imagine the mood in the room as you look out and see these different faces representing the different nations. Imagine the tone you would have to use in your speech, the specific wording, to gain their attention and their respect, to speak with the relevant level of importance, to try to create a feeling of goodwill, to make the different delegations feel respected, and then to attempt to unite these different nations with competing interests and worldviews.
Imagine having a specific project, and trying to get it off the ground – arranging smaller meetings to try to build alliances. Taking the time to chat one on one with people between meetings, drafting emails with proposals, and finally trying to edit formal documentation in collaboration with other delegates in huge writing sessions that can last days.
That’s the world we’re talking about here and specific things about how we have to adapt our language in these situations.
Several other things
My friend is also a really good guitarist, and so at the end of this conversation we couldn’t help but turn our attention to the guitars in my podcastle. He plays one of my guitars and we talk about guitars. So, we do move from international diplomacy to guitars. If you want to hear him play, just stick around until the end of the conversation.
Background noise. There was a guy in the corridor outside my podcast room doing some work – sanding a wall. So, apologies – you’ll hear the sounds of normal life bleeding into the recording slightly. I think it’s not too bad, but if you hear some noise and wonder what it is, it’s a guy sanding a wall outside.
Right, so without any further ado let’s get started. The first thing you’ll hear now is me saying that often the most difficult part of podcasting is the very beginning of a recording, and M__ gives me a good bit of advice which he has learned from his work at UNESCO.
So, let’s now join the conversation at that point. I’ll chat to you a bit at the end.
Communication Idioms (explained at the end)
To beat around the bush
To talk at cross purposes
To grab/get the wrong end of the stick
To hit the nail on the head
It strikes a different chord in people’s minds (if you speak from the heart)
This guy is trying to wrap me round his finger (to manipulate/control me)
Today on the podcast I am talking to Lindsay from All Ears Engish.
Do you know the All Ears English podcast? If you don’t know it, then that is a surprise to me because All Ears English is an extremely popular, well-known and high ranking podcast for learners of English.
I’m sure you’ve come across it before. Yellow logo, Lindsay and her co-hosts Michelle, Jessica and Aubrey. American English. Their episodes are always full of positive energy. They promote personal growth through learning English and their mantra is “connection not perfection”. All Ears English. Over a million subscribers on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, ranked in Best of Apple Podcasts categories in 2018 and 2019, and #1 in US Education Language Courses category. Lindsay and her team have been featured in Podcast Magazine, Language Magazine, and Forbes. When your podcast is in a magazine, when you’ve crossed from one medium into another, you know you’re doing something right. You know, All Ears English! https://www.allearsenglish.com/
Lindsay is a returning guest on my podcast. She has been on this show a few times before. Long, long term listeners might remember her first appearance way back in episode 186 in 2014 talking about culture shock. So we’ve collaborated quite a few times. I have also been on All Ears English a number of times too, including recently.
Just a couple of months ago, Lindsay and I decided that it was about time we collaborated again on a couple of episodes so we invited each other onto our respective podcasts. I was on her show just a couple of weeks ago, in episode 2140 talking about differences between American and British English. We compared the vocabulary differences, communication style differences and more. If that sounds interesting, you could check it out. AEE 2140: The Subtle Differences Between American and British English with Luke’s English Podcast
And for Lindsay’s appearance on my show in this episode, we agreed that it could be really interesting to talk about Lindsay’s home country – the USA and what’s going on there at the moment in terms of economic, political and cultural changes.
You’re going to hear us talking about things like:
The actions of unions and how that has been affecting workers’ rights.
The way cities are evolving because of changes in people’s working lives especially since the COVID-19 pandemic.
Property prices, the energy crisis, American people’s attitudes about their government, trust in public institutions and other things of that nature.
Also, I couldn’t help adding my own comments about what’s been going on in the UK as well, in order to compare and find similarities between our two countries.
It’s a big year for both the UK and the USE – we have big elections coming up – a presidential election in the USA at the end of the year and a general election in the UK at some point.
There’s plenty to talk about. I hope you find it all interesting. I’ll talk to you again a little bit at the other end of this conversation, but now, without any further ado, let’s get started.
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