Category Archives: Entertainment

803. The Wraith (Learn English with a Text Adventure Story) by Peter Carlson

The second in a trilogy of text adventure stories by Peter Carlson. In this one we are chasing a ghostly serial killer with a few tricks up his sleeve. Do I have the detective skills to solve the mystery and avoid certain death?

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Click here to play “Victorian Detective Interlude” on textadventures.co.uk

👉 Part 1 – The Unopened Safe

👉 Part 3 – The Missing Masaccio

802. The Unopened Safe (Learn English with a Text Adventure Story) by Peter Carlson

Let’s do another text adventure mystery story by Peter Carlson. Listen to me read the story and make choices to solve the mystery. You can read the story with me (link below) or do the game yourself later. This is the first in a series of 3 stories from Peter’s “Victorian Detective Interlude” game on textadventures.co.uk

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Click here to play Victorian Detective Interlude by Peter Carlson on textadventures.co.uk

👉 Part 2 – The Wraith

👉 Part 3 – The Missing Masaccio


A message from Luke – 2022, A Year in Podcasting

Hello website visitors! I hope you’re doing ok. Did you have a good Christmas (if you celebrate it)?

These three “Victorian Detective Interlude” episodes will be the last episodes of 2022. What a year it’s been! For me, the year started in our new apartment, and everything was a disorganised mess! I had no pod-room where I could record episodes in peace, and our apartment was so noisy that I even had to record a podcast outside in the street. I talked about it in episode 759. Then I managed to set up my new studio/office in a tiny room in a nearby building. I was quite proud of myself because I put up all the shelves (more difficult than you might think!), painted the room, fitted a desk, procured a free office chair and then carried all my books, equipment and other stuff to the room (up 6 flights of stairs, no less). I talked about all that “DIY” in episode 757. After a looooong time the room finally got electricity and an internet connection, I got a new computer (the old one was kaput) and was able to get back to normal podcasting.

Oh yes, then I changed podcast host in June and everything got incredibly complicated again, especially for premium subscribers! But thankfully we all survived all the stress and I was able to record some episodes that I am very happy with, and LEP Premium continued on Acast+ with more and more new episodes.

If you have recently subscribed to LEP Premium – www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium
The best way to use LEP Premium is to add the episodes to a normal podcast app on your phone (not the LEP App, it’s not updating any more 😢, and not Spotify because it isn’t “normal”). Read this page for some important information to help you get started https://teacherluke.co.uk/premium/how-to-add-lep-premium-to-a-podcast-app-on-your-phone-with-acast/

Luke’s English Podcast continues to be the thing I love doing, and I’m lucky to get some income from this work now. I’m happy to say that the podcast continues to go from strength to strength. This year the audio podcast hit 800 episodes, 100,000,000+ downloads in total (incredible), 100+ premium episodes, and my YouTube channel passed 400,000 subscribers (wow!). But maybe the most satisfying thing is that I have received so many messages from listeners with positive things to say about their experiences of learning English with my content.

Thank you for choosing LEP in 2022. Thank you if you left your comments on my episodes. Thank you if you sent me messages of encouragement. Thank you if you sent donations to support this project. Thank you if you signed up to LEP Premium.

I hope you have enjoyed learning English with me in 2022. Here’s to more episodes in 2023! I have lots of plans for more content on a variety of topics – some serious, some funny, but all designed to help you to get more English into your life.

Happy New Year everyone!! 🥂

Luke

Episode 803 “The Wraith” will be published tomorrow, probably!

797. Stephen from SEND7 interviews Luke about LEP

Stephen from SEND7 podcast becomes the host to interview me about how I started LEP, the ins and outs of doing this, plus some advantages and challenges for podcasting to learners of English. Video version available.

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Video Version (automatic subtitles)

Send 7 Podcast – www.send7.org

796. Language & Local British Identity with MARK STEEL

Special Guest Mark Steel joins me to discuss cultural and linguistic differences between the UK and France, plus accents in the UK and a little tour of some places in the UK that you don’t know about. Also includes a discussion of swearing and rude language in Britain. What is the R word which you should never say in a specific part of the UK? Listen on to find out. Video version available.

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Video Version (shorter, with automatic subtitles)

795. DOPPELGANGER (Learn English with a Short Story)

Learn English with another short story. In fact, this episode contains two stories. Listen until the end for the 2nd one. Repeat after me to practise your pronunciation. Learn some vocabulary & grammar in the second half of the episode, with an explanation of modal verbs of deduction in the past and present. Video version available.

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Video Version (with on-screen text)

Sign up to LEP Premium for a premium series with another story (P41)

Download the episode transcript here

Episode Transcript

Hello everyone, 

Welcome back to the podcast. How are you doing out there in podcast land? Surviving?

Here’s a new episode. It’s time to do some more English learning with a story. 

In this episode, I’m going to read another short story to you, and use it to teach you some English. 

I recommend that as well as listening to me read the story out loud to you today, that you read this story out loud too, and I will give you a chance to do that by repeating after me. 

We’ll also look at some vocabulary and grammar from the story during the episode. And if you listen until the end, I will tell you another story too. 

That’s all going to come later in the episode. If you’re watching the video version – hello. Don’t forget to like & subscribe.  

If you are listening to the audio version. Click the link in the description to visit the page for this episode where you will be able to read a transcript for the whole things. You’re welcome.

100-Word Stories

Recently I have been looking for short stories to help me teach English, the shorter the better, and I found lots of 100-word stories on several websites. A 100-word story is a story with no more than 100 words.

There are a couple of sites where you can find a lot of these. One site is called https://100wordstory.org/ and the other is https://www.fridayflashfiction.com/ 

Anyone can submit a story to these sites. The stories are then checked by the website editors and then published for everyone to read.

The only rule for the writers, is that the stories have a 100-word limit. I think the minimum is 75 words, but the maximum is 100. So, a story with no more than 100 words.

That’s quite a challenge.

The writers need to be very disciplined. They have to choose their words carefully, and as a result these stories are very minimal and manage to convey descriptions and emotions using only a few words. 

As a teacher of English, I think these stories are great because it gives us compelling and concise samples of English to work with. 

Get the book 

I want to just point out that there is a book full of these very short stories, which you could buy. 

It’s called Nothing Short of 100: Selected tales from 100 Word Story

It is a collection of stories from the https://100wordstory.org/ website. 

There’s a Kindle version or a print version. 

It is published by OUTPOST 19 and it was put together by the team behind the website, including Grant Faulkner, Lynn Mundell and Joshua Michael Stewart. 

It is available for you to purchase and I recommend it if you are looking for bite size stories to use for learning or teaching English. 

I also recommend visiting https://100wordstory.org/ and www.fridayflashfiction.com where you can find absolutely loads of stories like this with new ones arriving each week.

Today’s story

OK so let’s start with a story which I’ve selected from the Nothing Short of 100 book.

This story is called DOPPELGÄNGER 

By the way, we don’t usually use an umlaut in English →  ä  

What is a doppleganger?

A doppelganger is someone who looks exactly like someone else, but it’s creepy and scary, like a ghostly copy of someone.

I think the word has its origins in German (hence the umlaut in the title), and translates directly as “double goer”. So your doppelganger is your double, a copy of you, who looks exactly like you and who goes around, walking the earth.

In my case, that would be Luka Modric, the Croatian footballer. That’s what people say anyway, that Luka Modric is my doppelganger. 

Yes, he is my doppelganger. I’m not his doppelganger, ok? He’s my doppelganger. I was here first!

We do use the word in conversational English.

We say things like “Oh, I saw your doppelganger in the street today!” (meaning, “I saw someone who looked just like you”)
or “It’s amazing, he’s your complete doppelganger!” etc. 

I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced that. Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever seen someone who looks exactly like someone you know? Have you ever done a double take and been confused for a split second? Has anyone told you that they’d seen your doppelganger?

OK, I’m now going to read the story

Just one question 👇

  • How did the person feel at the end of the story? Why? 

Answer: She felt shocked, upset, sad, surprised and possibly heartbroken. Maybe she couldn’t believe her eyes, because she saw her lover with another woman, or she saw someone who looked exactly like her lover with another woman.

Listen to the episode to hear me summarise and explain the story.

Let me give my comments and explanations, line by line (listen to get my comments)

DOPPELGÄNGER
I almost didn’t see the you who wasn’t you.
I was walking past the outdoor tables of the French café, and just at the last second, I caught a familiar hand gesture, and looked again. 
It couldn’t have been you though, my love, because your other hand was clasping the hand of the woman opposite.
Your heads were too close.
She was laughing, that abandoned laughing you do when you’re totally in the moment, totally in love.
I walked on, heels tapping out a staccato rhythm, as I no longer wanted to look at the you who wasn’t you.

Possible interpretations

  • It was her husband/boyfriend, cheating on her, having an affair with another woman.
  • It wasn’t her husband/boyfriend. It was just someone who looked like him, but it still disturbed her because she’s terrified that he could cheat on her.
  • It was her ex, someone she is still in love with. They’re not together any more. He’s moved on, but she hasn’t.
  • It was a guy who she loves but they’re not together and she can’t bear the fact that he’s with someone else.
  • Perhaps she lost her husband (he died) and she just saw someone who reminded her of him.
  • Something else?

Language Analysis

Vocabulary & Grammar

  • The you who wasn’t you
    (Although you normally takes are/were, it is not plural, and so the relative pronoun who is singular)
  • Just at the last second
    • on time
    • in time
  • Familiar
  • A gesture
  • To catch (a look at) something (to get a glimpse of something)
  • …though
  • Clasping her hand
  • Abandoned laughing
  • To be totally in the moment
  • To walk on
  • Heels
  • Tapping
  • A staccato rhythm
  • It couldn’t have been you, my love 👇

Modal Verbs of Deduction

Present

Who is that?

I’m sure/certain it’s DaveIt must be Dave
It’s possible (that) it’s Dave-not sureIt could be DaveIt might be DaveIt may be Dave
It’s impossible (that) it’s DaveIt can’t be DaveIt couldn’t be Dave

Past

Who was that?

I’m sure/certain it was DaveIt must have been Dave
It’s possible (that) it was Dave-not sureIt could have been DaveIt might have been DaveIt may have been Dave
It’s impossible (that) it was DaveIt can’t have been DaveIt couldn’t have been Dave

Pronunciation

  • Repeat the story after me, line by line.
  • Try to say each line with no pauses between words.
  • Notice which word has the main emphasis (stress) in each line.
  • Don’t sound like a robot! 🤖

DOPPELGÄNGER

I almost didn’t see the you who wasn’t you.

I was walking past the outdoor tables of the French café,

and just at the last second,

I caught a familiar hand gesture,

and looked again.

It couldn’t have been you though, my love,

because your other hand
was clasping the hand of the woman opposite.

Your heads were too close.

She was laughing,

that abandoned laughing you do when you’re totally in the moment,

totally in love.

I walked on,

heels
tapping out a staccato rhythm,

as I no longer wanted to look
at the you 

who wasn’t you.


Do you want more of this kind of thing?

Sign up to LEP Premium www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium 

I do language analysis, vocab & grammar explanations and pronunciation practice.

There are stories and language reviews for conversations which have appeared in episodes of LEP. 

If you sign up you can add all the premium episodes to your podcast app of choice, and also get links for video versions and PDF worksheets.

www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium 

🔗 Link in the description 🔗 

How about another story?

We’re not finished yet. 

I’m going to read you another story. This one is also about a doppelganger.

I’ll just read the story to you, and then I’m going to do language work in a premium episode which is coming soon to the premium subscription. 

OK, I am trying to persuade you to sign up to my premium subscription, but I think it’s worth it, and if you do you’ll be supporting the podcast. No pressure though. 

If you don’t want to sign up or you can’t, no worries.

I’m still going to read the story to you in this free episode, now. 

I hope you enjoy it. 

I’ll quickly summarise it at the end (in case you don’t understand), but I’ll do the detailed language teaching in premium series, coming soon.

Story 2

Doppelganger, by Sue Clayton 

From → www.FridayFlashFiction.com and adapted slightly by me. 

“This book says everyone has a doppelganger, a mirror image, and if you meet yours face to face, you’ll die.”

Janice, my flatmate, closed the book, finished her tea and toast, and slammed out of the door for her A&E shift at St. Margaret’s hospital just down the road. She loved any kind of fantasy literature, always immersed in some supernatural genre book. Not my cup of tea at all. Give me a good Nordic Noir mystery anytime.

After taking a shower I went to brush my teeth. If you meet your doppelganger face to face you’ll die, my reflection in the bathroom mirror laughed as I recited the words, but they’d begun to worm their subliminal way into my subconscious, waiting to claw their way to the surface and pounce.

One day, a couple of weeks later, I headed for the front door ready to set off into town where I worked at a music store. Doppelganger, I froze as my mind hissed the insidious word. What if I saw me on the train? Or stood behind me in the line at the coffee place? What if I came into the shop to buy a record and had to serve myself? The words shot through my mind. I let go of the door handle as if I had been electrocuted, and phoned in sick.

“Do you fancy a night out at that new wine bar down the street?”
Janice bounced through the front door one afternoon, chirpy as a blue bird, her shift trauma-free for once.

“Not tonight, Janice, I’m still not feeling very good.” The image of my other self perched on a stool at the far end of the bar, possibly raising a toast, was too hard to stomach.

‘You haven’t been outside for ages, Natalie, not even for work…you’ll end up getting fired. What’s going on with you?” Janice pressed.

“I’ll meet my doppelganger and die if I go outside,” I burst into tears, knowing how ridiculous I sounded.

“You know there’s no such thing. You need to get help, Natalie. I’ve got a therapist friend who works at the hospital. I’ll fix you up an appointment.” She wrapped me in a comfort hug.

“You’re booked in for ten o’clock this morning.” Two days later Janice grabbed my arm and pulled me through the front door; I didn’t stand a chance.

“You won’t meet yourself between here and St. Margaret’s.” She smiled reassuringly and we set off down the street.

“Excuse me,” a hand tapped my shoulder as we waited to cross the busy main road. I turned around and my shriek froze the blood of everyone close by, before I stepped backwards off the footpath into the path of an articulated lorry.

“I didn’t mean to frighten her,” tears ran down the anguished face of one of the two men who’d been standing behind me. He was holding a large six-feet square mirror which they were carrying across to the framing workshop across the road. “I just wanted to ask her to step to one side.”

Summary of Story 2

The narrator, let’s call her Sue (although I realised after recording this that she’s actually called Nathalie in the story!) lives with her flatmate Janice. 

One day Janice reads a line from a scary book she’s reading. It says that if you ever meet your doppelganger, you’ll die.

Sue doesn’t usually believe that kind of thing, but the idea gets into her head and as she is leaving the house one day, she suddenly gets scared that she might meet her doppelganger, and die.

So she decides to stay at home.

In fact she keeps staying at home, every day. The idea of meeting her doppelganger has made her too terrified to leave the house.

Janice gets worried about Sue and arranges for her to meet a therapist, and assures Sue that nothing can happen to her on the way.

Sue agrees to leave the house, but at the main road someone taps her on the shoulder.

Sue turns around and sees her own reflection.

The man who tapped her on the shoulder was trying to carry a mirror across the road.

He wanted to ask her to step to one side, to make space.

But Sue turned around and saw her doppelganger – her reflection in the mirror and screamed!

Then she stepped back, into the road, and was hit by a large lorry.


That’s the end of the episode, but check out LEP Premium.

I’m going to do a premium episode all about this second doppelganger story. 

All the vocabulary (with a memory test), some grammar, some pronunciation practice.

I’ll go through the vocabulary and some grammar and I’ll do some pronunciation practice with it too, just like I did with the 100-word story.

793. Rambling Through the Streets of Paris at Night on a Bike (with a VERY SPECIAL GUEST?)

Last week a very special guest visited one of our comedy shows in Paris. I was given a ticket to the show, so I decided to record a podcast while riding through the streets on the way to the show, wondering if I might be able to interview this guest on LEP. Listen to find out what happened, and to hear some rambling and atmospheric sounds of Paris streets at night.

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791. ADJECTIVE + PREPOSITION with Amber & Paul (A+P with A&P on LEP)

Amber and Paul join me in my pod room again for a rambling discussion about everything! Includes a language point about adjective + preposition collocations. Notice the phrases and try to find examples of them in context. Video version available.

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Video Version (Automatic subtitles available)


Check out the premium series which accompanies this episode (P39 parts 1-3) 👇

Sign up to LEP Premium to get the 3-part series of episodes (audio, video, PDFs) about the language point in this episode.

  • P39 Part 1 – All about the grammar of prepositions and how they fit into sentences, including plenty of vocabulary and a quick pronunciation exercise at the end
  • P39 Part 2 – Let’s go through my list of adjective + preposition phrases from the conversation with Amber & Paul. I’ll test your memory and help you notice the target language, while clarifying some of the adjectives. Also includes discussion questions for free practise.
  • P39 Part 3 – Pronunciation, pronunciation, pronunciation, pronunciation, pronunciation. The 5 Ps. There’s a focus on weak forms of prepositions, -ed endings of adjectives and 40 sentences to repeat after me.

Sign up for LEP Premium here and then add LEP Premium episodes to an app on your phone.


Some vocabulary in the episode

Here are a few words and phrases that you will hear us saying at the start of the episode.

  • Let’s do a wager. How long do you think it’s going to be?
  • I think he’s probably written a short introduction. The problem is he gets waylaid.
  • To go down a rabbit hole.
  • There is room for random rambling and tangents. I have factored that into the exercise. That’s all been factored in
  • If I’d been left to my own devices I think I would have cracked that in about 2 minutes, but because I kept getting interrupted by you two, it took longer!
  • Zero rigour. I’m not rigorous enough.

789. 50 Random British Facts (True or False Quiz) with James [Part 2]

[Part 2 of 2] James and Luke discuss some more “facts” about the UK, but can you guess if they are true or false? Learn some interesting trivia about life in Britain, and improve your vocabulary in the process.

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Video Version with facts on the screen – Automatic Subtitles Available

Introduction Transcript

Hello listeners, and welcome back to the podcast.

This is part 2 of a two-part episode called 50 Random British Facts (True or False Quiz) with James.

This is part 2 – so if you haven’t heard part 1, go back and listen to that. It’s the previous episode.

In this one we’re going to go through the rest of the random facts about Britain which my brother and I put together earlier this year.

Just a reminder, of the way this works:

  • First, James and I will read out some more random facts about the UK
  • Some of the facts are true, and other facts are not true – they were completely made up by James and me.
  • You have to decide which facts you think are true and which ones are false
  • Then, after reading out the facts, James and I will reveal the answers and we will also discuss each fact a little bit.

Hopefully you can learn some odd and interesting bits of information about the UK, spot some useful English vocabualry, generally practise your listening skills and have a bit of fun in the process.

If you’d like to work on your pronunciation, here’s a challenge. Try reading the facts out loud, like James and I did. When you read them out, try to say them clearly and fluently, emphasising the right words, connecting parts of the sentence and adding pauses and intonation in the right places. It’s actually quite difficult but a good exercise. You can read the facts on the page for this episode on my website, or you will see them on the screen if you are watching the YouTube version. You could compare the way you say the sentences to the way James and I say them, and perhaps try to copy us, or shadow us. That could be a good way to push your English a bit further with this episode.

As I said at the beginning of the 1st part of this double episode, James and I recorded this in August 2022 and that was before the Queen died in September, and so this is a bit anachronistic as we talk about The Queen in the present tense as she was still alive and the head of state of the country at the time we recorded this. So just keep that in mind while you are listening to this I guess.

Oh and by the way, listen out for a cameo appearance by my daughter somewhere in the middle of the episode.

Now, are you ready to keep calm and carry on?

OK then, here we go with more random British facts – are they true or are they false?

Random British Facts 26 – 50 [True or False?] Listen to find out the answers

Section 3

  • 26. In 1657, England’s puritanical leader Oliver Cromwell passed a law making it illegal to serve richly flavoured food, believing it to be a pathway to sin.
  • 27. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour.
  • 28. It is illegal to put a stamp with the queen’s head on it upside down on an envelope (it’s considered treason).
  • 29. It’s customary to let out a little bit of gas when you accept something which has been offered to you. A small fart or a burp. Keep some gas in reserve for moments like this. This is why English people eat beans.
  • 30. Loch Ness is the largest body of freshwater in Britain by volume. It also keeps a temperature of 6°C all year round, not even freezing in the coldest Scottish winters.
  • 31. More than half of the London Underground network in fact runs above ground.
  • 32. There are 6 official ‘native’ languages in the UK.
  • 33. Queen Elizabeth II was born in the same room that Charles Dickens died in.
  • 34. Recent studies found that skin from British people was more resistant to water compared to that of continental people, due to higher levels of wax residue found on the skin surface.
  • 35. The Glasgow accent is so strong that people there often have trouble understanding each other when they speak.
  • 36. Taxis are obliged to carry a bale of hay in the boot, thanks to old laws regarding the feeding of horses.
  • 37. The Queen doesn’t have a passport.
  • 38. The Queen owns all the swans in the UK, and as a result it is illegal to kill or eat them.

Section 4

  • 39. The department store Harrods sold cocaine until 1916.
  • 40. The name of the UK’s flag is the Union Jack.
  • 41. The word soccer originally comes from the UK.
  • 42. There are 6 ravens which live at the Tower of London and an old royal decree from the reign of King Charles II states that if one of them leaves, the kingdom will fall.
  • 43. During the time of Henry III (mid 13th century), a live polar bear was kept in the moat at the Tower of London.
  • 44. There are more than 70 beaches in the UK.
  • 45. There are now more parakeets in London than pigeons.
  • 46. There’s a secret underground tunnel which runs directly from Buckingham Palace to Number 10 Downing Street.
  • 47. Under the Salmon Act of 1986, it is an offence to handle a salmon ‘suspiciously’.
  • 48. Until the late 70s it was common practice for doctors to recommend that pregnant women drink Guinness because the high iron content was thought to be beneficial for the pregnancy.
  • 49. Until 1968 tobacco was commonly included in a child’s packed lunch along with bread, fat drippings, and tripe.
  • 50. Until 1982 all buses and taxis were legally obliged to carry a bottle of brandy to revive any passengers taken ill during the journey.

Ending Transcript

That’s it listeners.

Thank you for listening.

Don’t forget, you can read all those facts on the page for this episode on my website. That could be a good way to just check some of the words and phrases that you heard in this episode. 

I’m sure there’s some new vocabulary in there.

Here’s a selection (just read through them)

  • Puritanical
  • Richly-flavoured
  • A pathway to sin
  • A suit of armour
  • Gas / wind / a fart
  • To keep something in reserve
  • A body of water
  • A bail of hay
  • A muzzle / to keep an animal muzzled
  • To handle something (two meanings)
  • Fat drippings
  • Tripe
  • To be taken ill
  • To revive someone

That’s just a selection. I’m not going into it all now, but you could pursue that vocabulary and research it and try to remember it and use it, or at least try to notice it again as you listen, read and generally come into contact with English.

Some of them are more frequently used than others. I don’t know how often you will talk about tripe or bails of hay in your life, but that’s the thing about pushing your vocabulary beyond the intermediate plateau. You have to go beyond the limits of the vocabulary that you come across on a daily basis and go into the more uncharted areas of English in order to open things out and expand.

Also, I explained some vocabulary at the end of part 1. I don’t know if you heard that, but I went into various words relating to laws, rules, regulations, government legislation and so on, as quite a lot of those things came up in the 50 facts. So go back and listen to the last 30 mins of part 1, if you haven’t already done so.

You see, it pays to listen to episodes all the way until the end.

788. 50 Random British Facts (True or False Quiz) with James [Part 1]

Can you guess if these “facts” about the UK are true or false? James and Luke read out the facts and then discuss them one by one. Learn some odd things about the UK, pick up some vocabulary about laws and customs, and try not to laugh on the bus.

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Video Version (with facts written on the screen) Try activating automatic subtitles

Episode Introduction

Hello everybody, before I play this episode I think I should give a kind of disclaimer about the content. I just want to say two things.

So this is an episode about Britain recorded with my brother in August, which is obviously before we all got the news that The Queen had been taken ill and had died, and we do talk about The Queen a few times during the episode, but of course she is no longer with us and now we have King Charles III.

So, firstly, the things we say about The Queen will be a bit anachronistic now as you listen to it – anachronistic, meaning belonging to the past, and a bit out of step with the present. So that’s the first thing – this was recorded when the Queen was still alive and when she was the head of state, which is now obviously no longer the case, so there are a few little anachronisms and we refer to The Queen in the present tense.

And secondly, when we do mention The Queen and a lot of other things, it’s done in a humorous way – and I’m aware that some people might find that inappropriate, but we aren’t really mocking her harshly or specifically. We copy her voice a bit and parts of the episode are just a bit silly and funny, but our intentions are decent. I don’t think we could be indicted for treason or anything like that. So, I hope you take it all in the spirit of good natured British humour, which is our intention, and let’s remember that The Queen has been praised a lot over the last week or so for her good sense of humour, so hopefully she would see the funny side (but who knows) In any case, I think it’s ok and I’ve decided to publish this. I hope you enjoy it, and actually I hope you see it as a sort of celebration of British stuff, for what it’s worth. 

Alright then, now I have said that. Let’s start the episode properly. Here we go.

— Jingle —

50 Random British Facts (True or False Quiz) with James [Part 1]

Hello listeners, welcome back to my podcast. 

Are you ready to do some more listening, to improve your English?

If the answer to that question is “Yes” then, good! Keep listening!

Here is a new episode featuring James, my older brother. This is a 2 part episode actually, and you’re listening to part 1. 

In this one you’re going to hear James and me discussing various facts about the UK, that’s the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, of course. England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

A few weeks ago, James and I came up with a list of 50 facts about British life, customs, laws, history and culture, which we could talk about on this podcast. We thought you might find it interesting.

So that’s what you’ll hear. But the thing is – some of these facts are true and some of them are not true. They’re false, completely made up, invented by James and me.

So the game is, can you guess which of these facts are true and which ones are false?

Here’s how this is going to work. 

First, you’ll hear us reading out our list of so-called facts and you can decide if you think they’re true or not

and then we will discuss each fact, we’ll reveal if they are true or not and we’ll explain some bits of language and culture along the way.

On the subject of vocabulary, two things:

  1. You will find a list of all the “facts” on the page for this episode on my website. They’re all written there for you, so you can go and read them if you like. If you hear a word and you’re not sure what it is, you can check all the sentences there. Also, I recommend trying to read those sentences out loud. All the facts – try reading them out loud. It’s quite good pronunciation practice. You can then compare your version to the the way James and I read the sentences, and perhaps you can shadow us, or repeat the sentences after us. Some of them are actually quite challenging, quite difficult to say clearly as you’ll see. That’s just something you could try doing. There are always other ways to push your English with these podcasts beyond just listening, or if you prefer not really doing any extra practice or anything you can just sit back, listen, enjoy and eat a chocolate biscuit.
  1. Some of the facts presented here are about UK laws, and you might hear a few different words to describe laws – things like this:
  • A rule
  • A law
  • Legislation
  • To Ban / to be banned
  • An act of parliament
  • Provisions in an act
  • A royal decree
  • An initiative
  • A custom / to be customary 

I’ll go through those words briefly at the end of the episode, giving you a little tiny taste of LEP Premium, with definitions, explanations and a couple of examples, just to make sure you understood the full meaning and difference between them, because lots of words like that will just pop up in this episode and you might think “Hold on, how many words for laws and rules are there? What’s the difference between a law, an act, a decree and legislation? 

If that’s you – just listen on until end of this part to hear some vocabulary explanations from me, which no doubt will just be really helpful. 

This is an audio-only episode, but if you are listening on YouTube you will see that the facts are written on the screen with a few pictures to illustrate them in most cases, which again should help you not only understand everything but also to notice vocabulary, with your eyes, and your brain.

And you can always switch on the automatic subtitles in English on YouTube, which are surprisingly accurate these days.

But now, that’s enough waffle. Let’s get started with part 1 of this, recorded at my parents’ home in England a couple of weeks ago, during the summer holidays, just after we’d eaten a large lunch with the whole family. 

OK, so, this is part 1 of 50 Random British Facts, with James. 

Let’s go.

Random British Facts 1 – 25

True or False? 👉 Listen to the episode to find out the answers.

Section 1

  1. In a recent poll by The BBC, 71% of British people said that British food was the best in the world. Examples given included curry and lasagne.
  2. 8% of British people live in London.
  3. Work meetings in the UK often commence with a short joke before people get down to business. The joke is usually printed on slips of paper or distributed in advance by email.
  4. All pubs must have a picture of the Queen displayed somewhere behind the bar.
  5. Another way to say “thanks” in the UK is to say “Ta”
  6. Big Ben is the nickname of a large clock tower in Westminster.
  7. British people drink 100,000,000 cups of tea a day.
  8. Cockfighting is illegal, but heron fighting is still commonly practiced in rural areas.
  9. During the Second World War a fake “mock up” of London was built in the Kent countryside with an intricate system of lights, to confuse German bomber pilots during nighttime air-raids.
  10. Every year on the 5th November children burn an effigy of a Catholic terrorist who once attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament during the King’s visit.
  11. Every year the Mayor of London is given a dozen oxen as part of his annual pay packet. The livestock are usually donated to a charity of the Mayor’s choice, or slaughtered.
  12. A recent excavation of the site of Shakespeare’s former home in London turned up a number of clay pipes containing the residue of cannabis resin or “hashish”.

Section 2

  1. In the UK, by law, if one man’s dog gets bitten by another man’s dog, the owner of the dog that did the biting must buy the other man a pub lunch, or something else of equivalent value.
  2. If the UK flag is flying at Buckingham Palace it means the Queen is in the building. FALSE – It’s the Royal standard.
  3. If you live to be 100 years old you will receive a personal letter from The Queen in the post.
  4. In 2020, English winemakers Langham Wine Estate of Dorset won  the International Wine & Spirit Competition Sparkling Wine Producer of the Year, which is one of the most prestigious awards a winemaker can win. They beat every top French Champagne brand in the competition.
  5. In 1976 a huge rat was discovered in the London sewer system. The police lost 2 dogs in their attempt to capture and destroy the animal.
  6. In the UK we drive on the left side of the road, but in 1987 the UK government introduced plans to switch from driving on the left to driving on the right, to bring the country in line with European standards. The initiative, which was eventually scrapped, was to be phased in over a period of 6 months, with heavy goods vehicles and buses switching first, followed by cars and then motorbikes and bicycles.
  7. It is always raining, somewhere in the UK.
  8. It is customary to buy a packet of crisps to be shared while having a drink in a pub, and the crisp packet is often ripped open in a certain way to allow everyone to take crisps from the bag. (crisps, not chips)
  9. It is customary to make tea for any tradesmen (plumbers, decorators) who visit your house.
  10. When going to the pub with friends or colleagues, it is customary to order drinks in rounds.
  11. It is illegal in the UK to be drunk in charge of a horse.
  12. It is illegal in the UK to be drunk on licensed premises (a pub).
  13. It is illegal to carry a plank of wood along a road in the city of London.

To be continued in part 2…

Ending Transcript

So, that is the end of part 1. How many did you get right?

You are keeping track of your score, right? 

It might be tricky to keep track of your score, which is fine of course. 

To be honest, I don’t expect you to do that really. But I wonder if you generally managed to guess which of those things were true and which ones were bollocks. 

Did anything surprise you? Did anything amuse you?

Let us know by leaving your comments in the comment section.

That was only the first 25 facts of course. We’re not done yet. This will all continue in part 2 when we look at facts 26-50, in the same way. I guess you can just look forward to that. It will require all your patience to do so, but I believe in you. You can do it.

Vocabulary

Now, let me go through some vocabulary, as I said I would earlier.

A lot of these facts deal with things like laws, government actions and also traditions or customs and so I thought I would just clarify some words which relate to those things. Yet again I am doing this on the free podcast as a little taste of the kind of thing you usually get in episodes of LEP Premium these days. 

The words I’m going to talk about now are:

  • A rule
  • A law
  • Legislation / to legislate
  • To ban / to be banned
  • An act of parliament
  • Provisions in an act
  • A royal decree
  • An initiative
  • A custom / customary 

Words for different types of law or government action

  • A rule (countable noun)

A rule is just something which says whether you are allowed or not allowed to do something. The difference between a rule and a law is that the word rule is more general and is used in all sorts of situations, not just by governments and the police etc. 

Schools have rules (e.g. no chewing gum in the classroom), people’s homes have rules (e.g. no mobile phones at the dinner table). 

Also, sports and games have rules, like the offside rule in football.

  • A law (countable noun)

Laws are the rules which determine wether things are legal or illegal. They are made and introduced by the government and enforced by the police and justice system.

To break a law

We also have the word “law” (opposed to “a law”) which means the whole system of rules which determine what is allowed, not allowed, what people have the right and don’t have the right to do or have.

  • Legislation (uncountable noun)

Legislation is another word for law, but it is uncountable.

Here are some sentences which basically mean the same thing:

The government created legislation banning the possession of handguns.

The government created a law (or laws) banning the possession of handguns.

So it’s the same as the word law, but we don’t say “a legislation” because it’s uncountable. Instead we would say “a piece of legislation”.

The government introduced new legislation banning the use of diesel cars in urban areas.

The government introduced a new law banning the use of diesel cars in urban areas.

Legislate is a verb 

To legislate for or against something – which means to create laws to oblige people to do things, or to prohibit certain things. 

The government in 2007 legislated against smoking in indoor public places.

  • To ban something (verb)

This means to prohibit or stop something and it’s usually used in reference to government laws which make something prohibited.

Smoking was banned in public spaces in 2007.

The government banned smoking in 2007.

Sometimes the word ban is used in situations outside the legal system, for example – 

Mobile phones are banned in the classroom.

A person can also be banned from a certain place, for example, 

Dave has been banned from the golf club for starting a fight last week.

It can be a noun or a verb.

The smoking ban. There’s a ban on smoking. 

The government banned smoking.

  • An act of parliament

An act is a specific piece of legislation which creates law.

When politicians make laws, for example in the House of Commons in London, there’s a certain process and we use different words for that legislation during the process. 

First the law is introduced by a member of parliament as a bill which is a written proposal for a law. The bill is discussed by the MPs in the House of Commons and the House of Lords and is voted on, and when that bill has been approved (including being given the Royal Assent by the Queen) it is written into law in the form of an act. 

This act defines the law. It’s kind of like a contract. Each act, which contains various laws, has a name. For example, The Treason Felony Act 1848, which makes it an offence to do any action with the intention of deposing the monarch. This makes it illegal to plan or try to remove The Queen from the throne (or in fact to remove the crown from The Queen) and this includes planning and devising things in written form, spoken form and with the use of images etc. So that’s the Treason Felony Act, which was created in 1848, which makes it against the law to try to depose the monarch.

Another example is the The Data Protection Act 2018, which controls how your personal information is used by organisations, businesses or the government. The Data Protection Act 2018 is the UK’s implementation of the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR).

And another example is the Homicide Act 1957, which makes it illegal to kill someone, or commit murder. By the way, it says 1957, but of course murder wasn’t legal before 1957, it’s just that in 1957 the law relating to murder or homicide would have been redefined somehow, and a new act was created, which contained provisions relating to all acts of homicide.

  • A provision (countable noun)

A statement within an agreement or a piece of legislation that a particular thing must happen or be done.

This is like a specific section of an act of parliament, or a specific detail in an act of parliament. You also get provisions in contracts between people.

  • A (royal) decree

A decree is an order that something must be done. A royal decree is when the king or queen orders that something must be done. These days it doesn’t happen in the UK, so royal decrees are only heard about when referring to history. 

King Edgar in 957 decreed that all settlements (towns) in England were restricted to having only one “alehouse” per settlement. This was a law to try to control the number of pubs or places selling ale across the country. The decree lasted until after the Norman conquest of England in 1066 after which more and more alehouses, inns and pubs started arriving. 

Here’s an example from The Bible, of a decree by a Roman Emperor.

The Gospel According to Luke, Chapter 2 Verse 1

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.

And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David). To be taxed with Mary, his espoused wife, being great with child.

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

And she brought forth her first-born son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

  • An initiative (countable noun)

A new plan or process to achieve something or solve a problem:

The peace initiative was welcomed by both sides.

  • A custom (countable noun)

This is a way of behaving or doing something which has existed for a long time. It’s like a tradition.

The adjective is “customary” and is often used in the phrase:
It is customary to do XXX.
It was customary to do XXX.

Examples

It is customary to bring a gift to someone’s house if you are invited to lunch or dinner.

It’s customary in Japan to remove your shoes when you enter someone’s house.

It’s customary in the UK to shake someone’s hand when you first meet them, especially in more formal contexts.

  • A crime
  • An offence

These two words 👆 are synonyms.

End of part 1. Part 2 coming soon…

781. Film Club: Monty Python & The Holy Grail (revisited ) with Antony Rotunno [LEP / Film Gold SwapCast]

Talking to Antony Rotunno about a classic British comedy film which makes fun of the legend of King Arthur (and everything else!) Originally published by Antony on his Film Gold podcast earlier this year.

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Introduction Transcript

Hello listeners, welcome back to Luke’s English Podcast!

This episode is called Film Club: Monty Python & The Holy Grail (revisited) with Antony Rotunno [LEP / Film Gold SwapCast].

I think the best way to give an introduction to this is just to explain the title. So let me do that.

I will try to keep this short, and I will probably fail.

Film Club

As you may know, from time to time I do these film club episodes in which I talk about films that I love. The idea is that I want to introduce you to films in English which I think are great, and which you might enjoy too and watching films can help with your learning of English as I have discussed before. You can watch these films in English with or without the English subtitles. I recommend doing a bit of both. Sometimes with subtitles, and sometimes without.

The idea is that you can listen to this episode and get to know the film through our comments and descriptions, then watch the film and hopefully understand and appreciate it a bit better, or just listen to this without watching the film at all if you prefer. There are a few audio clips from the film included, for educational purposes of course, so you will be able to hear some moments and scenes. 

Some of you will know the film already ← and if that is the case, congratulations – you get bonus points. If you know the film already, hopefully we will still be able to tell you something new about it, because there is a lot to say.

I hope you can get access to the film somehow. There’s always the DVD or BlueRay version if you still have a player, and at the time of recording this, I can see that Monty Python & The Holy Grail is available on Netflix, with subtitles in various languages and everything. I’ve also found the entire film on YouTube and it’s been there for 3 years, so you might be able to watch it there. I’ll include a link to that on the page for this episode, where you can also read this whole introduction transcript if you want. 

Monty Python & The Holy Grail

The film we’re talking about here is a British comedy film from 1975, by Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Just in case you don’t know, Monty Python’s Flying Circus is a group of comedians who did a TV series, some films, some stage shows and some audio albums, mostly in the 1960s and 1970s. 

The members are/were John Cleese, Graham Chapman, Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam and Eric Idle. Sadly, Graham Chapman and Terry Jones are no longer with us.

They are/were all British, except for Terry Gilliam who is originally from the USA. 

This film is a ridiculous but very clever comedy adventure story about King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. This fits in quite nicely with the recent episode with my dad about Sir Gawain and the Green Knight as I will say in a moment.

King Arthur is a mythical king from British history. We think he’s mythical, but there might have been a real King Arthur once upon a time who the myths are based on, but we’re not sure. 

But certainly there are various stories about Arthur in British culture, including legends about him searching for the Holy Grail – the cup which Jesus drank from during the Last Supper, which may or may not have found its way to the British isles at some point, and also stories of how Arthur first became King by either pulling a magic sword, called Excalibur, out of a rock, or by being given the sword by The Lady of the Lake – a magical enchantress or fairy – a supernatural woman who, in these old stories emerged from a lake to give the sword to Arthur, signifying that he had a god given right and duty to be the King and to unite the whole country. It’s sort of an origin story of the Royal Family, kind of, but also just a romantic tale which has been told again and again and again, particularly in England for many centuries. 

With this film, the Monty Python team decided to make a comedy version of the story of King Arthur’s quest to find the Holy Grail, set in medieval times.

The connection to the episode about Sir Gawain and the Green Night with my dad is that that is also a folklore story from the Arthurian legends – the set of stories associated with King Arthur and his Knights (that’s knights with a K). 

Monty Python & The Holy Grail, although a comedy, does also contain many of the same themes that are present in Sir Gawain & The Green Knight. There is honour, there is a quest into the unknown, there are games and challenges from various characters and beasts along the way, there is a temptation scene, there is an enchantress, there are duels with mysterious and deadly enemies but of course this film is a parody of all those idea – a joke version, making fun of all those tropes of medieval romantic adventures. The film is an affectionate parody of that whole story archetype. It also makes fun of plenty of other things as we will discuss.

Revisited

I am revisiting this film on the podcast with this episode (talking about it again). I say that because I did an episode about this film on the podcast in 2014. Long-term listeners should remember that. It is in the archive if you want to check it out – episode 202. 

In that one I focused on just one scene from the film, in a lot of detail, breaking down all the language bit by bit, to help you understand it all. If you haven’t heard that – let me recommend it. It should be a good addition to this episode and you will hear me fully dissecting all the language and comedy in what is probably my favourite scene in the film. We also talk about that scene a little bit in this episode.

This time though, we’re dealing with the whole film, discussing it and giving an overview of the entire thing, how it was made, what it all means (if it means anything), and what happens in the story scene by scene.

With Antony Rotunno

The other person you will hear in this episode is Antony Rotunno. You’ve heard Antony a few times on this podcast now, most recently in the episode about Meditation. Antony is an English teacher, a podcaster and a musician from England.

LEP / Film Gold Swapcast

A swapcast is when two podcasts publish the same audio recording. So, this recording was first published by Antony on his film podcast earlier this year. His film podcast is called Film Gold. He edited this episode and published it in February. Antony said I could publish it on my podcast too so here you go. 

No doubt this episode will be epically long, which I think is totally fine I must say. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – you don’t have to listen to it in one go. If you are using a podcast app on your phone you can pause any time, go and live your life for a while, and when you come back to the episode your podcast app will remember where you stopped. So, here’s a nice long episode for you to enjoy in your own time.

One note: If you are listening to this on YouTube and you want to activate the automatic subtitles, I have a suspicion that they won’t be available. I always activate the automatic subtitles on my YouTube videos, but sometimes YouTube just says “no”. I suspect that might be the case this time, which is a pity. So you might just have to survive without subtitles this time and focus on your listening skills rather than your reading skills. If it’s any consolation, my other episode about this film (ep 202) does have plenty of notes and scripts, which you will find on my website.

So in a moment LEP is going to transform into Film Gold, hosted by Antony with me as his guest. I must say thank you to Antony for doing all the editing and production work and allowing me to publish this here for my audience to enjoy. 

I would like to recommend Antony’s other podcasts to you again. He’s got three. You can find them wherever you get your podcasts.

Right then. In a moment you’re going to hear the pleasant sounds of Antony’s Film Gold intro music and then lots of sound effects, fanfares and crazy madness for a minute or two. 

If you wonder what that is, it’s the audio from the original movie trailer for Monty Python & The Holy Grail. 

As you will hear, one of the jokes in the trailer is that the person doing the voice over keeps being fired and replaced. We start with a cheesy American announcer, then we get a couple of English guys who can’t really read very well and finally the voice over is done by a person speaking what I think is Chinese (although I’m not sure exactly what variety of Chinese it is – please feel free to confirm or deny in the comment section). 

The trailer is typically crazy, and there are lots of little clips from the film and sound effects. If you’re wondering what’s going on, basically you are being transported into the madcap world of Monty Python, and then you will hear Antony’s voice and you’ll know that you are in the comfortable surroundings of the Film Gold podcast.

Right, so without any further ado, let’s stop my introduction so you can hear another introduction to this introduction to the introduction to the film of Monty Python & The Holy Grail. 


Other Links & Videos

The Camelot Song

Brave Sir Robin complete song

The Holy Grail on Location (BBC Documentary)

Rob Ager’s Holy Grail analysis videos

LEP Episodes with Rob Ager (Film analysis)

Monty Python Live at Drury Lane

Monty Python Live at The Hollywood Bowl