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905. 49 Random Jokes, Explained (Dissecting the Frog)

Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You can learn from it, but the frog dies in the process. Let me tell you 49 jokes (of varying quality). How many do you understand? I will explain all the jokes. How much vocabulary can you learn in the process? Joke list, vocabulary list & vocabulary quiz below.

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Intro notes, Vocabulary, Links 👇

It’s time to do some more jokes on the podcast!

In this episode I’m going to go through a list of jokes I haven’t read before. 

I’ll read them out to you, you can try to understand the jokes. What’s funny? 

Often it’s about vocabulary double meanings or maybe little cultural references. 

Then I’ll explain them all one by one so you can fully understand anything you might have missed, including any important vocabulary.

So I’ll read the jokes out to you and then I’ll explain them.

Of course, whenever I explain jokes on this podcast I have to read out this quote. It’s not clear who first said it.

So, these jokes might die as I explain them, but at least you should learn some English from all this.

I found all these jokes on BoredPanda.com ← a website I often use to find jokes. 

It’s not clear who wrote these. They’re probably just those unauthored jokes that get shared around by people over the years.

On the website it says these are “jokes for teens”, but I think this just means that there aren’t any particularly rude jokes in here. I think they’re jokes for anyone.

I’ll read out about 10 jokes, and then I’ll go back and explain them.

Then I’ll do another 10, and so on, and we’ll keep going until we can’t take it any more.

150 Jokes For Teens To Spice Up Those Moments Of Boredom | Bored Panda

JOKE LIST 👇

  1. How do you know when you’re desperate for an answer?
    You look at the second page of Google search results.
  2. What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?Guardians of the Galaxy.
  3. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
    I don’t know, and I don’t care.
  4. Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands?
    Because they’re extinct.
  5. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger.
    Then it hit me.
  6. Are you free tomorrow?
    No, I’m expensive. Sorry.
  7. What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
    The walking debt.
  8. Why did God supposedly make men before He made women?
    Because everyone needs a rough draft.
  9. Why was the Maths book sad?
    It had too many problems.
  10. My boss told me yesterday, “You shouldn’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.”
    But when I turned up today in Ghostbusters clothes, he said I was fired.
  11. If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
    Big hands.
  12. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
    Because she’ll let it go!
  13. What should you do when no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
    Keep going until you get a reaction.
  14. What animal is the worst at hiding?
    The leopard — he’s always spotted.
  15. What has four wheels and flies?
    A garbage truck!
  16. What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
    Reali-tea.
  17. I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
  18. Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet?
    If they don’t, they’ll be lost at C.
  19. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
    Finding half a worm in your apple.
  20. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
    It’s okay. He woke up.
  21. What do you call a Minecraft meetup IRL?
    A block party.
  22. Why are spiders such know-it-alls?
    They’re always on the web.
  23. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
    Look for the fresh prints.
  24. A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
  25. Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
    He drank his coffee before it was cool.
  26. What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?
    Feyoncè.
  27. I thought I’d tell you a brilliant time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
  28. Why can’t you trust an atom?
    Because they make up everything.
  29. Can February March?
    No, but April May.
  30. A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A boy responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”
  31. I thought my neighbours were lovely people. Then they went and put a password on their wi-fi.
  32. What kind of music do balloons hate?
    Pop.
  33. What side of a turkey has the most feathers?
    The outside.
  34. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?
    An envelope.
  35. How did the bullet lose its job?
    It got fired.
  36. What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
    Ouch!
  37. Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
    Because they can’t even.
  38. What does a high school basketball player and a jury have in common?
    The Court.
  39. I think my algebra teacher is a pirate.
    All she ever wants to do is find X.
  40. How does the moon cut its hair?
    E-clipse it.
  41. Why did the selfie go to prison?
    It was framed.
  42. Which hand is better to write with?
    Neither. It’s better to write with a pencil!
  43. Were any famous men and women born on your birthday?
    No, only babies.
  44. What do you call high school kids who haven’t been able to go to school because of COVID-19?
    Quaranteens.
  45. What do you call the horse that lives next door?
    Your neigh-bour!
  46. How do you drown a hipster?
    In the mainstream.
  47. How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
    Shocked!
  48. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
    A stick.
  49. Why do bees have sticky hair?
    Because they use honey combs!

Vocabulary List

  • To be desperate for something
    She was desperate for a drink of water after running the marathon.
  • Ignorance
    His ignorance about the current political situation made the conversation difficult.
  • Apathy
    The manager was frustrated by the staff’s apathy towards improving their performance.
  • Clap your hands
    The audience began to clap their hands after the incredible performance.
  • Be extinct
    Dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.
  • It hit me
    As I was walking home, it suddenly hit me that I had forgotten my wallet at the restaurant.
  • To have debt / to be in debt
    After finishing university, he was in debt because of all the student loans.
  • To go hiking
    We decided to go hiking in the mountains this weekend to enjoy the fresh air.
  • A rough draft
    I submitted a rough draft of my essay to the teacher for feedback before finalizing it.
  • To get fired / to get sacked
    He got fired from his job for consistently arriving late.
  • To get a reaction
    The comedian made a joke, hoping to get a reaction from the audience.
  • A chemical reaction
    When you mix baking soda with vinegar, a chemical reaction occurs, producing bubbles.
  • To spot something
    I managed to spot my friend in the crowd at the concert.
  • Hard to swallow
    The news of the company’s sudden closure was hard to swallow for the employees.
  • To collect / gather dust
    That old bicycle in the garage has been collecting dust for years.
  • To be lost at sea
    The sailors were lost at sea after their navigation system broke down.
  • To be a know-it-all
    Nobody likes working with John because he acts like a know-it-all, even when he’s wrong.
  • To form an emotional bond with someone
    Over time, the foster child formed a strong emotional bond with his new family.
  • To like something before it was cool
    He prides himself on liking that band before it was cool.
  • To make something up
    She didn’t know the answer, so she made something up to avoid looking clueless.
  • Odd numbers
    Odd numbers like 3, 5, and 7 are not divisible by 2.
  • Even numbers
    Even numbers like 2, 4, and 6 can be divided by 2 without a remainder.
  • A basketball court
    They played a competitive game on the basketball court near the school.
  • A law court (judge, jury, lawyers, defendant)
    The defendant stood nervously in the law court as the jury delivered the verdict.
  • To be framed
    She was innocent, but her jealous colleague framed her to take the blame.
  • Mainstream vs alternative
    While he prefers alternative music, his brother enjoys more mainstream pop songs.
  • To comb your hair
    After getting out of the shower, she carefully combed her hair to get rid of the tangles.
  • Honeycomb
    The beekeeper harvested the honeycomb from the hive to extract the honey.

Vocabulary Quiz (answers below)

Part 1: Multiple Choice

Select the correct meaning or synonym for each word or phrase.

  1. To be desperate for something means:
    a) To have no interest in something
    b) To urgently need or want something
    c) To be indifferent to something
  2. Ignorance refers to:
    a) Lack of knowledge
    b) A strong dislike
    c) A sudden idea
  3. Apathy is:
    a) Excitement about an event
    b) Lack of interest or concern
    c) Strong feelings towards something
  4. To be extinct means:
    a) To be endangered
    b) To no longer exist
    c) To be difficult to find
  5. To get fired is the same as:
    a) To get promoted
    b) To be hired for a job
    c) To lose your job

Part 2: Fill in the Blank

Complete each sentence with the correct word or phrase from the list.

  1. When I was looking at the sign, it didn’t make sense, and then suddenly _______. (Hint: realization)
  2. I have so much ______ from university, I’ll be paying it off for years! (Hint: financial obligation)
  3. The company released a ______ of their new product for customers to test. (Hint: early version)
  4. When the ship sank, they were left ______ for days. (Hint: stranded at sea)
  5. She said it’s not true that she stole the money—she claims she’s been ______. (Hint: falsely accused)

Part 3: Matching

Match the word or phrase on the left with the correct definition on the right.

  1. To go hiking
  2. A chemical reaction
  3. To spot something
  4. A rough draft
  5. Hard to swallow

a) A physical or emotional response that’s difficult to accept
b) A first or preliminary version of something written
c) A process that occurs when substances interact to form new products
d) To walk in nature, especially in the mountains
e) To notice or recognize something

Part 4: True or False

Write True or False for each statement.

  1. To be a know-it-all means someone who shares their knowledge humbly and listens to others.
  2. Mainstream refers to ideas, attitudes, or activities that are widely accepted by the majority.
  3. Odd numbers include 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10.
  4. A law court involves judges, juries, lawyers, and defendants.
  5. To like something before it was cool means to follow trends set by others.

Part 5: Short Answer

Answer the following questions.

  1. What does it mean to “make something up”?
  2. How would you describe the difference between mainstream and alternative?
  3. Why might a basketball court and a law court have the same word, “court”?

Vocabulary Quiz Answers

Part 1: Multiple Choice

  1. To be desperate for something means:
    b) To urgently need or want something
  2. Ignorance refers to:
    a) Lack of knowledge
  3. Apathy is:
    b) Lack of interest or concern
  4. To be extinct means:
    b) To no longer exist
  5. To get fired is the same as:
    c) To lose your job

Part 2: Fill in the Blank

  1. When I was looking at the sign, it didn’t make sense, and then it hit me.
  2. I have so much debt from university, I’ll be paying it off for years!
  3. The company released a rough draft of their new product for customers to test.
  4. When the ship sank, they were left lost at sea for days.
  5. She said it’s not true that she stole the money—she claims she’s been framed.

Part 3: Matching

  1. To go hikingd) To walk in nature, especially in the mountains
  2. A chemical reactionc) A process that occurs when substances interact to form new products
  3. To spot somethinge) To notice or recognize something
  4. A rough draftb) A first or preliminary version of something written
  5. Hard to swallowa) A physical or emotional response that’s difficult to accept

Part 4: True or False

  1. False – A know-it-all is someone who pretends to know everything and often doesn’t listen to others.
  2. True – Mainstream refers to ideas or activities widely accepted by the majority.
  3. False – Odd numbers are 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, etc.
  4. True – A law court involves judges, juries, lawyers, and defendants.
  5. False – To like something before it was cool means you liked it before it became popular or trendy.

Part 5: Short Answer

  1. To make something up means to invent a story or fact, often to deceive or entertain.
  2. Mainstream refers to ideas or activities accepted by the majority, while alternative suggests something outside of the mainstream, often more niche or unconventional.
  3. A basketball court and a law court both involve a structured space where rules are followed, and some form of competition or judgment takes place.

😅 Did you enjoy this episode? 

Want to hear me explain more jokes? 

Check out these other episodes from my episode archive 👇

904. Bits & Bobs / Questions of English (Part 1)

This is the first part of a series in which I share various little things which I have collected over the years for this podcast, including questions about English, some interesting talking points and some general motivation and inspiration for your English learning journey.

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Get the PDF for part 1 👇

903. Reading from my Japanese hospital diaries (Sept 2002)

By popular demand I have chosen to publish this episode! In 2002 I ended up stuck in a Japanese hospital feeling very ill and confused. I ended up staying there for about two weeks. During my stay I wrote a diary nearly every day. In this episode I read from my diaries, share my personal experience with you and explain a few bits of vocabulary.

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902. “A Year on the Fosse” by Rick Thompson (English History & Wildlife) Dad’s New Book – Out Now

A conversation with my dad about his new book, which is about the history and wildlife of a famous Roman road which passes right through the heart of England. Expect stories from various periods of English history, plus descriptions of typical English bird life. English history and culture on Luke’s English Podcast.

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👉 GET THE BOOK ON AMAZON HERE 📖

901. Sherlock Holmes: The Adventure of The Speckled Band (Learn English with a Short Story)

Learn English with another classic Sherlock Holmes mystery story by Arthur Conan Doyle. In this episode my aim is to help you to understand and enjoy a Sherlock Holmes story. I’ll read the original text of this classic locked-room mystery to you, and will explain and summarise what is happening regularly. Just relax, listen carefully and try to enjoy this classic story. PDF available.

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Vocabulary List

Here are some words and phrases from the story “The Adventure of the Speckled Band” that Luke explains or clarifies during the episode:

  • Knock up: Holmes apologises for “knocking up” Watson, but Luke explains that this phrase had a different meaning in the Victorian era. Today, it’s a somewhat vulgar term for making someone pregnant. In the story, it just means “to wake someone up.”
  • Veiled: The lady who visits Holmes and Watson is “heavily veiled.” Luke explains this means she has a veil, a piece of fabric, covering her face.
  • Shivering: The lady is shivering, which usually means someone is cold. Luke points out she is shivering because she is terrified.
  • Pitiable state of agitation: Luke explains that this means the lady is in a very sorry state and very frightened. He further clarifies that “Haggard” means she looks exhausted, as if she has been through a horrible experience.
  • Singular: Watson calls the case “singular,” which Luke clarifies means unique.
  • The Roylotts: Luke explains that “The Roylotts” is the family name of the client’s stepfather and that they are a noble, upper class family like the one in “Downton Abbey”.
  • Stoke Moran: Luke clarifies that Stoke Moran is a fictional town.
  • Commonplace: Watson states that none of the cases he’s seen are commonplace. Luke points out that commonplace means ordinary or usual.
  • Deductive reasoning: Luke explains that deductive reasoning is a key element in Sherlock Holmes stories. Holmes looks at evidence and makes deductions (conclusions) about things that he cannot directly see.
  • Band: The title of the story refers to “The Speckled Band.” Luke points out that the word “band” has two meanings. It can refer to a group of people, like a band of musicians, or a strip of fabric, like a headband. The word “speckled” refers to a pattern of spots.
  • Estate: Luke clarifies that the word “estate” refers to the land and money owned by the family.
  • Mortgage: Luke explains that a mortgage is a type of bank loan taken out against a property.
  • Aristocratic pauper: Luke defines the term “pauper” as someone who is poor, explaining the seeming contradiction in the phrase “aristocratic pauper” is that Roylott’s father comes from a noble, upper class family, but has lost all of his money.
  • Butler: Luke describes a butler as the head servant in a house and imagines him wearing a suit, holding a tray, and serving tea.
  • Capital Sentence: When Helen Stoner says her stepfather narrowly escaped a “capital sentence,” Luke clarifies that she is referring to the death penalty.
  • Morose: Luke explains that “morose” means being in a bad mood.
  • Bequeathed: Luke clarifies that when the mother “bequeathed” her money to Royet, it means she promised to give it all to him in her will.
  • Seldom: Luke clarifies that seldom means rarely.
  • Save: Royet “seldom came out save to indulge in quarrels.” Luke explains that “save” in this context means “except.”
  • Mania: Luke explains that “mania” means extreme or violent anger.
  • Brawls: When Helen Stoner says Royet had been involved in a series of “brawls,” Luke explains that she means physical fights.
  • Gypsies: Luke explains that Gypsies are a group of traveling people and talks about the stereotypes associated with them.
  • Cheetah and Baboon: Luke clarifies the types of animals these are. A cheetah is a large, fast wild cat. A baboon is a type of monkey.
  • Grounds: Luke clarifies that Roylett’s “grounds” refers to the land surrounding his house.
  • Fortnight: Luke explains that a fortnight is a period of two weeks.
  • Impending misfortune: Helen Stoner had a “vague feeling of impending misfortune” the night her sister died. Luke explains this means she felt something bad was going to happen.
  • Gale: A “gale” is a very strong wind.
  • Hubbub: The “hubbub of the gale” refers to the loud noise of the wind and rain.
  • Horror-stricken: Luke explains that “horror-stricken” means terrified.
  • Hinges: Hinges are the metal joints on which a door swings open and closed.
  • Blanched: Luke clarifies that this means her face was white with terror.
  • Swayed to and fro: Julia was “swaying to and fro” like a drunk person, meaning her body was moving unsteadily from side to side.
  • Writhed: Julia “writhed” on the floor, meaning her body was twisting and turning as if in pain.
  • Convulsed: Luke explains that Julia’s limbs were “dreadfully convulsed,” meaning they were shaking violently and uncontrollably.
  • Fain: Julia would “fain have said” something else, meaning she wanted to say something but could not.
  • Brandy: Luke points out that brandy was seen as a solution to many problems in Victorian England and that it is a strong alcoholic drink.
  • Coroner: The coroner is the official who investigates sudden or unexplained deaths.
  • Sounded: The walls were “carefully sounded,” meaning they were checked to see if they were solid.
  • Shutters: Shutters are wooden or metal covers on the outside of windows.
  • Staples: Staples are metal fasteners.
  • Charred: The match in Julia’s hand was “charred,” meaning it had been burned.
  • Handkerchiefs: Handkerchiefs are square pieces of cloth used for wiping one’s nose or face.
  • Saxon: The Saxons were a group of people who came to England from what is now Denmark and Germany.
  • Dissolute and wasteful disposition: Helen Stoner describes four generations of her stepfather’s family as having “dissolute and wasteful dispositions,” meaning they were irresponsible with money.
  • Regency: The Regency was a period in British history from 1811 to 1820, when King George III was too ill to rule and his son, later George IV, acted as regent.
  • Squire: A squire was a country gentleman who owned land.
  • Bengal Artillery: The Bengal Artillery was a branch of the British Indian Army.
  • Half-pay major of Marines: A major is a rank in the British Army. “Half-pay” means the officer was retired and receiving half his usual salary. The Marines are a branch of the British armed forces.
  • Maiden sister: A maiden sister is a woman who has never married.
  • Harrow: Harrow is a town in northwest London.
  • Manifold wickedness: “Manifold” means “many and varied” in this context. Helen Stoner is saying she believes Holmes can see into the many different ways in which the human heart can be wicked.
  • Encompass: “To encompass” means to surround.
  • Opal Tiara: Luke describes a tiara as a piece of jewellery worn on the head, like a small crown.
  • Averted eyes: Helen Stoner says she could read from her fiance’s “soothing answers and averted eyes” that he didn’t believe her. “Averted eyes” means he was looking away from her.
  • Dog cart: A dog cart is a small cart that was pulled by a horse.
  • Leatherhead: Leatherhead is a town in Surrey, south of London.
  • Waterloo: Waterloo is a major railway station in London.
  • Frill: A frill is a decorative piece of fabric, usually gathered or pleated.
  • Cruelly used: Holmes can see that someone has been cruel to Helen Stoner.
  • Investments: Investments are assets that are purchased with the hope that they will generate income or increase in value.
  • Pittance: A pittance is a very small amount of money.
  • Dawdling: “To dawdle” means to waste time.
  • Revolver: A revolver is a type of handgun.
  • Insolence: Insolence is rude or disrespectful behaviour.
  • Confound: “To confound” means to confuse.
  • Zest: “Zest” means enthusiasm or excitement.
  • Scotland Yard: Scotland Yard is the headquarters of the London Metropolitan Police.
  • Imprudence: “Imprudence” means lack of care or good judgement.
  • Fleecy clouds: Fleecy clouds are white, fluffy clouds.
  • Shoots: Shoots are new growths on plants.
  • Moist earth: Moist means damp or slightly wet.
  • Sinister quest: A quest is a search or journey. “Sinister” means evil or threatening.
  • Trap: A trap is another term for a dog cart, or any light carriage pulled by a horse.
  • Timbered: “Timbered” means covered with trees.
  • Grove: A grove is a small group of trees.
  • Gables: Gables are the triangular upper parts of a wall at the end of a pitched roof.
  • Cluster: A cluster is a group of things close together.
  • Style: A style is a set of steps that allow people to climb over a fence or wall.
  • Footpath: A footpath is a narrow path for people to walk on.
  • Architect: An architect is a person who designs buildings.
  • Gossip: Gossip is casual conversation about other people, often involving rumour or speculation.
  • Lychen: Lychen is a type of plant that grows on rocks and trees.
  • Caved in: “Caved in” means collapsed inwards.
  • Scaffolding: Scaffolding is a temporary structure used to support workmen and materials during the construction, repair, or cleaning of a building.
  • Pending: “Pending” means “while waiting for”.
  • Alterations: Alterations are changes that are being made.
  • Suggestive: “Suggestive” means that something hints at something else.
  • Unapproachable: “Unapproachable” means impossible to reach.
  • Homely: “Homely” means simple and comfortable.
  • Gaping fireplace: A “gaping fireplace” is a large, open fireplace.
  • Chest of drawers: A chest of drawers is a piece of furniture with drawers for storing clothes or other items.
  • Counterpane: A counterpane is a bedspread.
  • Wickerwork chairs: Wickerwork is made from woven twigs or reeds.
  • Wilton carpet: Wilton carpet is a type of woven carpet.
  • Paneling: Panelling is decorative wooden boards covering a wall.
  • Worm-eaten oak: Worm-eaten means damaged by woodworm, the larvae of various beetles. Oak is a type of hardwood tree.
  • Bell rope: A bell rope is a rope that is pulled to ring a bell.
  • Tassel: A tassel is a bunch of threads or cords tied together at one end and hanging as an ornament.
  • Bell pull: A bell pull is another term for a bell rope.
  • Dummy: A dummy is a fake or imitation.
  • Ventilator: A ventilator is an opening that allows air to circulate.
  • Absurd: “Absurd” means ridiculous or illogical.
  • Communicated: “Communicated” in this sense means “connected”.
  • Inner apartment: “Inner apartment” means the next room.
  • Camp bed: A camp bed is a simple, folding bed.
  • Technical: “Technical” means relating to a particular subject or skill.
  • Iron safe: An iron safe is a strong metal box for storing valuables.
  • Saucer: A saucer is a small, shallow dish that is used for holding a cup.
  • Dog lash: A dog lash is a whip for a dog.
  • Whipcord: Whipcord is a strong, thin cord.
  • Amiable: “Amiable” means friendly.
  • Bulky: “Bulky” means large and heavy.
  • Poker: A poker is a metal rod used for stirring a fire.
  • Frock coat: A frock coat is a man’s long, double-breasted coat.
  • Gaiters: Gaiters are coverings for the lower leg, often made of leather or canvas.
  • Hunting crop: A hunting crop is a short whip used by horse riders.
  • Breadth: “Breadth” means width.
  • Seared: “Seared” means burned or scorched.
  • Bile shot eyes: Bile is a yellow-green fluid that is produced by the liver and stored in the gallbladder. Royet’s eyes are described as “bile shot,” suggesting they have a yellowish tinge.
  • Fleshless: “Fleshless” means very thin.
  • Bird of prey: A bird of prey is a bird that hunts and kills other animals for food.
  • Apparition: An apparition is a ghost or a ghostlike image of a person.
  • Scoundrel: A scoundrel is a dishonest or unprincipled person.
  • Meddler: A meddler is a person who interferes in other people’s affairs.
  • Busybody: A busybody is a person who is too interested in other people’s lives.
  • Scotland Yard Jack in office: A “Jack in office” is an official who is arrogant and self-important.
  • Chuckled heartily: “To chuckle” means to laugh quietly. “Heartily” means in a loud and enthusiastic way.
  • Draft: A draft is a current of cold air.
  • Feeble: “Feeble” means weak.
  • Avenue gate: An avenue is a wide road with trees on either side.
  • Dusk: Dusk is the time of day just before nightfall.
  • Looming: “Looming” means appearing large and threatening.
  • Lad: A lad is a boy or young man.
  • Roar: A roar is a loud, deep sound.
  • Fury: Fury is intense anger.
  • Clenched fists: Clenched fists means that the hands are closed tightly into fists.
  • Scruples: “Scruples” are feelings of doubt or hesitation about whether something is morally right.
  • Invaluable: “Invaluable” means extremely useful or important.
  • Somber errand: An errand is a short journey that is made to do something. “Somber” means serious or gloomy.
  • Breaches: Breaches are gaps or openings.
  • Laurel bushes: Laurel bushes are evergreen shrubs with dark green leaves.
  • Hideous: “Hideous” means very ugly or unpleasant to look at.
  • Distorted: “Distorted” means twisted or misshapen.
  • Writhing limbs: “Writhing limbs” means arms and legs twisting and turning.
  • Startled: “Startled” means surprised and frightened.
  • Vice: A vice is a tool with two jaws that can be tightened to hold an object firmly in place.
  • Agitation: Agitation means a state of anxiety or nervous excitement.
  • Murmured: “To murmur” means to speak quietly.
  • Affected: “Affected” in this context means “kept”.
  • Slipping off: “To slip off” means to remove something quickly and easily.
  • Noiselessly: “Noiselessly” means without making any sound.
  • Dreadful vigil: A vigil is a period of time spent keeping watch. “Dreadful” means causing fear or anxiety.
  • Drawing of a breath: “Drawing of a breath” means the sound of someone inhaling or exhaling.
  • Open eyed: “Open eyed” means not sleeping.
  • Nervous tension: “Nervous tension” means a state of anxiety or stress.
  • Nightbird: A nightbird is a bird that is active at night.
  • Catlike whine: A whine is a long, high-pitched sound made by an animal.
  • At liberty: “At liberty” means free.
  • Deep tones: “Deep tones” are low-pitched sounds.
  • Parish clock: A parish clock is a clock that is located in a church.
  • Boomed out: “Boomed out” means made a loud, resonant sound.
  • Befall: “To befall” means to happen to someone.
  • Gleam: A gleam is a faint or brief flash of light.
  • Vanished: “Vanished” means disappeared suddenly.
  • Succeeded: “Succeeded” in this context means “followed.”
  • Dark lantern: A dark lantern is a lantern with a sliding cover that can be used to conceal the light.
  • Soothing sound: A “soothing sound” is a sound that is calming or relaxing.
  • Jet of steam: A jet of steam is a stream of hot water vapour.
  • Kettle: A kettle is a metal container used for boiling water.
  • Lashed furiously: “To lash” means to hit something repeatedly. “Furiously” means with great anger or force.
  • Glare: A glare is a bright, dazzling light.
  • Weary: “Weary” means tired.
  • Savagely: “Savagely” means violently or cruelly.
  • Loathing: “Loathing” means intense dislike or disgust.
  • Ceased: “Ceased” means stopped.
  • Mingled: “Mingled” means mixed together.
  • Parsonage: A parsonage is the house provided for a parish priest.
  • Sleepers: “Sleepers” in this context are people who are sleeping.
  • Echoes: Echoes are repetitions of a sound.
  • Gasped: “To gasp” means to breathe in suddenly and sharply, especially because of surprise or pain.
  • Subtle: “Subtle” means not obvious or easy to detect.
  • Palmer and Pritchard: These were two infamous doctors in the 19th century who were convicted of murder.
  • Ruthless: “Ruthless” means showing no pity or compassion.
  • Rapidity: “Rapidity” means speed.
  • Venom: Venom is a poisonous substance secreted by animals such as snakes, spiders, and scorpions.
  • Lethal: “Lethal” means deadly.
  • Fangs: Fangs are long, sharp teeth that are used for injecting venom.
  • Summoned: “Summoned” means called.
  • Fall a victim: “To fall a victim” means to be killed or harmed by something.
  • Inspection: An inspection is a careful examination of something.
  • Dispel: “To dispel” means to eliminate or get rid of.
  • Occupant: An occupant is a person who lives in a particular place.
  • Metallic clang: A “clang” is a loud, ringing sound.
  • Hastely: “Hastely” means quickly and hurriedly.
  • Put the matter to the proof: “To put the matter to the proof” means to test a theory to see if it is true.
  • Hiss: To hiss is to make a sound like a long ‘s’.
  • Cane: A cane is a walking stick.
  • Routed its snakish temper: “To rouse” means to awaken or stir up.
  • Indirectly responsible: “Indirectly responsible” means that someone is not directly to blame for something, but their actions contributed to it happening.
  • Conscience: Someone’s conscience is their sense of right and wrong.
  • Chronological order: Chronological order is the arrangement of events in the order in which they happened.
  • Anglo-Saxon: Anglo-Saxons were a people who inhabited England from the 5th century AD.
  • Sole remaining heir: The only person who is entitled to inherit property or a title.
  • Penniless: Having no money.
  • Swamp adder: Luke explains there is no such snake in India and speculates that it may be a cobra.
  • Red Herring: A “red herring” is a clue or piece of information that is intended to be misleading or distracting.

Please note that the episode transcript does not explain all the potentially unfamiliar vocabulary in the story. Luke focuses on the words and phrases that are key to understanding the plot or the characters. He also provides explanations of some grammatical features, such as the use of the word “save” to mean “except.”

900. Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results (with Amber & Paul)

It’s a catchy title! Episode 900 is here, and what better way to celebrate than by inviting my pals Amber & Paul back onto the podcast? Amber & Paul have been regular guests on this podcast for 10 years. We usually have light-hearted and tangential conversations and these episodes are often very popular with long-term listeners. This time we talk about Episode 900 celebrations 🎉 the title of this episode 🔁 Paris Olympics 2024 🏟️ encounters with dead animals in Paris 😢 Paul’s Olympic marathon run 🏃 the dangers of sneezing 🤧 and more…

[DOWNLOAD AUDIO]

YouTube video version👇

Paul’s Olympic marathon medal 👇

899. Back on the Mic: September 2024 Ramble & Grammar Tangents

Rambling about being back after the summer break, with regular moments of grammar analysis. Includes a lot of tangents, funny moments and analysis of English tenses and complex sentence structures. PDF with transcript and notes available.

[DOWNLOAD AUDIO]

Episode PDF with transcript & notes 👇

898. How to Learn Vocabulary (and not just stare at word lists)

In April I did a Zoom workshop about how to learn vocabulary. This is the audio version of the workshop, which I recorded more recently. Learn how to notice, understand, record, remember and use new words. Don’t just stare at word lists with translations. Instead, try to find some more effective ways to expand your vocabulary.

[DOWNLOAD AUDIO]

The video of my Zoom workshop from April this year 👇

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWa52btuMyc

Presentation slides (PDF)

897. Dysfluent (Learn English with an Interactive Story)

“Dysfluent” is a piece of interactive fiction, all about communication. The story shows what it is like to live with dysfluency – a condition which makes it difficult to produce smooth, fluent speech. How does a speech impediment create challenges in someone’s life? Listen to the story, follow my choices and learn new vocabulary along the way.

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👉 Play Dysfluent online here

896. A Rambling Chat with Martin Aaron

Martin Aaron is an old friend of mine from the days when I taught English in London. In this episode we chat about being an English teacher, travelling to different countries, the status of English in other places, how native English speakers (don’t) learn languages, stories of learning French in school, and Martin’s memories of boarding school.

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Listen to Marton’s podcast 👉 https://pod.link/1742336735