Category Archives: Learning

230. Can You Learn a Language in 6 Months?

Small Donate ButtonThis episode is based on a TEDx presentation by Chris Lonsdale, who claims that any normal adult can learn a language within 6 months. Is that really possible? What method of learning does Chris propose? How does this relate to listening to Luke’s English Podcast? You can see the video of Chris Lonsdale’s talk, with a transcript below. [Download]

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Chris Lonsdale’s TEDx Talk (transcript below)

Transcript of Chris Lonsdale’s Presentation
How to learn any language in six months: Chris Lonsdale
Have you ever held a question in mind for so long that it becomes part of how you think? Maybe even part of who you are as a person? Well I’ve had a question in my mind for many, many years and that is: how can you speed up learning? Now, this is an interesting question because if you speed up learning you can spend less time at school. And if you learn really fast, you probably wouldn’t have to go to school at all. Now, when I was young, school was sort of okay but I found quite often that school got in the way of learning, so I had this question in mind: how do you learn faster? And this began when I was very, very young, when I was about eleven years old I wrote a letter to researchers in the Soviet Union, asking about hypnopaedia, this is sleep learning, where you get a tape recorder, you put it beside your bed and it turns on in the middle of the night when you’re sleeping, and you’re supposed to be learning from this. A good idea, unfortunately it doesn’t work. But, hypnopaedia did open the doors to research in other areas and we’ve had incredible discoveries about learning that began with that first question.
I went on from there to become passionate about psychology and I have been involved in psychology in many ways for the rest of my life up until this point. In 1981 I took myself to China and I decided that I was going to be native level in Chinese inside two years. Now, you need to understand that in 1981, everybody thought Chinese was really, really difficult and that a westerner could study for ten years or more and never really get very good at it. And I also went in with a different idea which was: taking all of the conclusions from psychological research up to that point and applying them to the learning process. What was really cool was that in six months I was fluent in Mandarin Chinese and took a little bit longer to get up to native. But I looked around and I saw all of these people from different countries struggling terribly with Chinese, I saw Chinese people struggling terribly to learn English and other languages, and so my question got refined down to: how can you help a normal adult learn a new language quickly, easily and effectively? Now this a really, really important question in today’s world. We have massive challenges with environment we have massive challenges with social dislocation, with wars, all sorts of things going on and if we can’t communicate we’re really going to have difficulty solving these problems. So we need to be able to speak each other’s languages, this is really, really important. The question then is how do you do that. Well, it’s actually really easy. You look around for people who can already do it, you look for situations where it’s already working and then you identify the principles and apply them. It’s called modelling and I’ve been looking at language learning and modelling language learning for about fifteen to twenty years now. And my conclusion, my observation from this is that any adult can learn a second language to fluency inside six months. Now when I say this, most people think I’m crazy, this is not possible. So let me remind everybody of the history of human progress, it’s all about expanding our limits.
In 1950 everybody believed that running one mile in four minutes was impossible and then Roger Bannister did it in 1956 and from there it’s got shorter and shorter. 100 years ago everybody believed that heavy stuff doesn’t fly. Except it does and we all know this. How does heavy stuff fly? We reorganise the material using principles that we have learned from observing nature, birds in this case. And today we’ve gone ever further, so you can fly a car. You can buy one of these for a couple hundred thousand US dollars. We now have cars in the world that can fly. And there’s a different way to fly that we’ve learned from squirrels. So all you need to do is copy what a flying squirrel does, build a suit called a wing suit and off you go, you can fly like a squirrel. Now, most people, a lot of people, I wouldn’t say everybody but a lot of people think they can’t draw. However there are some key principles, five principles that you can apply to learning to draw and you can
actually learn to draw in five days. So, if you draw like this, you learn these principles for five days and apply them and after five days you can draw something like this. Now I know this is true because that was my first drawing and after five days of applying these principles that was what I was able to do. And I looked at this and I went ‘wow,’ so that’s how I look like when I’m concentrating so intensely that my brain is exploding.
So, anybody can learn to draw in five days and in the same way, with the same logic, anybody can learn a second language in six months. How? There are five principles and seven actions. There may be a few more but these are absolutely core. And before I get into those I just want to talk about two myths, dispel two myths. The first is that you need talent. Let me tell you about Zoe. Zoe came from Australia, went to Holland, was trying to learn Dutch, struggling extremely … a great deal and finally people were saying: ‘you’re completely useless,’ ‘you’re not talented,’ ‘give up,’ ‘you’re a waste of time’ and she was very, very depressed. And then she came across these five principles, she moved to Brazil and she applied them and within six months she was fluent in Portuguese, so talent doesn’t matter. People also think that immersion in a new country is the way to learn a language. But look around Hong Kong, look at all the westerners who’ve been here for ten years, who don’t speak a word of Chinese. Look at all the Chinese living in America, Britain, Australia, Canada have been there ten, twenty year and they don’t speak any English. Immersion per se does not work. Why? Because a drowning man cannot learn to swim. When you don’t speak a language you’re like a baby and if you drop yourself into a context which is all adults talking about stuff over your head, you won’t learn.
So, what are the five principles that you need to pay attention to? First: four words, attention, meaning, relevance and memory, and these interconnect in very important ways. Especially when you’re talking about learning. Come with me on a journey through a forest. You go on a walk through a forest and you see something like this. Little marks on a tree, maybe you pay attention, maybe you don’t. You go another fifty metres and you see this. You should be paying attention. Another fifty metres, if you haven’t been paying attention, you see this. And at this point, you’re paying attention. And you’ve just learned that this is important, it’s relevant because it means this, and anything that is related, any information related to your survival is stuff that you’re going to pay attention to and therefore you’re going to remember it. If it’s related to your personal goals then you’re going to pay attention to it, if it’s relevant you’re going to remember it.
So, the first rule, the first principle for learning a language is focus on language content that is relevant to you. Which brings us to tools. We master tools by using tools and we learn tools the fastest when they are relevant to us. So let me share a story. A keyboard is a tool. Typing Chinese a certain way, there are methods for this. That’s a tool. I had a colleague many years ago who went to night school; Tuesday night, Thursday night, two hours each night, practicing at home, she spent nine months, and she did not learn to type Chinese. And one night we had a crisis. We had forty- eight hours to deliver a training manual in Chinese. And she got the job, and I can guarantee you in forty-eight hours, she learned to type Chinese because it was relevant, it was meaningful, it was important, she was using a tool to create value. So the second tool for learning a language is to use your language as a tool to communicate right from day one. As a kid does. When I first arrived in China I didn’t speak a word of Chinese, and on my second week I got to take a train ride overnight. I spent eight hours sitting in the dining care talking to one of the guards on the train, he took an interest in me for some reason, and we just chatted all night in Chinese and he was drawing pictures and making movements with his hands and facial expressions and piece by piece by piece I understood more and more. But what was really cool, was two weeks later, when people were talking Chinese around me, I was understanding some of this and I hadn’t even made any effort to learn that. What had happened, I’d absorbed it that night on the train, which brings us to the third principle. When you first understand the message, then you will acquire the language unconsciously. And this is really, really well documented now, it’s something called comprehensible input and there’s twenty or thirty years of research on this, Stephen Krashen, a leader in the field has published all sorts of these different studies and this is just from one of them. The purple bars show the scores on different tests for language. The purple people were people who had learned by grammar and formal study, the green ones are the ones who learned by comprehensible input. So, comprehension works. Comprehension is key and language learning is not about accumulating lots of knowledge. In many, many ways it’s about physiological training. A woman I know from Taiwan did great at English at school, she got A grades all the way through, went through college, A grades, went to the US and found she couldn’t understand what people were saying. And people started asking her: ‘Are you deaf?’ And she was. English deaf. Because we have filters in our brain that filter in the sounds that we are familiar with and they filter out the sounds of languages we’re not. And if you can’t hear it, you won’t understand it and if you can’t understand it, you’re not going to learn it. So you actually have to be able to hear these sounds. And there are ways to do that but it’s physiological training. Speaking takes muscle. You’ve got forty-three muscles in your face, you have to coordinate those in a way that you make sounds that other people will understand. If you’ve ever done a new sport for a couple of days, and you know how your body feels? It hurts. If your face is hurting you’re doing it right.
And the final principle is state. Psycho-physiological state. If you’re sad, angry, worried, upset, you’re not going to learn. Period. If you’re happy, relaxed, in an Alpha brain state, curious, you’re going to learn really quickly, and very specifically you need to be tolerant of ambiguity. If you’re one of those people who needs to understand 100% every word you’re hearing, you will go nuts, because you’ll be incredibly upset all the time, because you’re not perfect. If you’re comfortable with getting some, not getting some, just paying attention to what you do understand, you’re going to be fine, you’ll be relaxed and you’ll be learning quickly. So based on those five principles, what are the seven actions that you need to take?
Number one: listen a lot. I call it Brain Soaking. You put yourself in a context where you’re hearing tons and tons of a language and it doesn’t matter if you understand it or not. You’re listening to the rhythms, you’re listening to things that repeat, you’re listening to things that stand out. So, just soak your brain in this.
The second action: is that you get the meaning first, even before you get the words. You go “Well how do I do that, I don’t know the words?” Well, you understand what these different postures mean. Human communication is body language in many, many ways, so much body language. From body language you can understand a lot of communication, therefore, you’re understanding, you’re acquiring through comprehensible input. And you can also use patterns that you already know. If you’re a Chinese speaker of Mandarin and Cantonese and you go Vietnam, you will understand 60% of what they say to you in daily conversation, because Vietnamese is about 30% Mandarin, 30% Cantonese.
The third action: start mixing. You probably have never thought of this but if you’ve got ten verbs, ten nouns and ten adjectives you can say one thousand different things. Language is a creative process. What do babies do? Okay: Me. Bat(h). Now. Okay, that’s how they communicate. So start mixing, get creative, have fun with it, it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to work. And when you’re doing this you focus on the core. What does that mean? Well with every language there is high frequency content. In English, 1000 words covers 85% of anything you’re ever going to say in daily communication. 3000 words gives you 98% of anything you’re going to say in daily conversation. You got 3000 words, you’re speaking the language. The rest is icing on the cake. And when you’re just beginning with a new language start with the tool box. Week number one in your new language you say things like: ‘how do you say that?’ ‘I don’t understand,’ ‘repeat that please,’ ‘what does that mean,’ all in your target language. You’re using it as a tool, making it useful to you, it’s relevant to learn other things about the language. By week two that you should be saying things like: ‘me,’ ‘this,’ ‘you,’ ‘that,’ ‘give,’ you know, ‘hot,’ simple pronouns, simple nouns, simple verbs, simple adjectives, communicating like a baby. And by the third or fourth week, you’re getting into what I call glue words. ‘Although,’ ‘but,’ ‘therefore,’ these are logical transformers that tie bits of a language together, allowing you to make more complex meaning. At that point you’re talking. And when you’re doing that, you should get yourself a language parent. If you look at how children and parents interact, you’ll understand what this means. When a child is speaking, it’ll be using simple words, simple combinations, sometimes quite strange, sometimes very strange pronunciation and other people from outside the family don’t understand it. But the parents do. And so the kid has a safe environment, gets confidence. The parents talk to the children with body language and with simple language they know the child understands. So we have a comprehensible input environment that’s safe, we know it works otherwise none of you would speak your mother tongue. So you get yourself a language parent, who’s somebody interested in you as a person who will communicate with you essentially as an equal, but pay attention to help you understand the message. There are four rules of a language parent. Spouses by the way are not very good at this, okay? But the four rules are, first of all, they will work hard to understand what you mean even when you’re way off beat. Secondly, they will never correct your mistakes. Thirdly they will feedback their understanding of what you are saying so you can respond appropriately and get that feedback and then they will use words that you know.
The sixth thing you have to do, is copy the face. You got to get the muscles working right, so you can sound in a way that people will understand you. There’s a couple of things you do. One is that you hear how it feels, and feel how it sounds which means you have a feedback loop operating in your face, but ideally, if you can look at a native speaker and just observe how they use their face, let your unconscious mind absorb the rules, then you’re going to be able to pick it up. And if you can’t get a native speaker to look at, you can use stuff like this: [slides].
And the final idea here, the final action you need to take is something that I call “direct connect.” What does this mean? Well most people learning a second language sort of take the mother tongue words and take the target words and go over them again and again in their mind to try and remember them. Really inefficient. What you need to do is realise that everything you know is an image inside your mind, it’s feelings, if you talk about fire you can smell the smoke you can hear the crackling, you can see the flames. So what you do, is you go into that imagery and all of that memory and you come out with another pathway. So I call it ‘same box, different path.’ You come out of that pathway, you build it over time you become more and more skilled at just connecting the new sounds to those images that you already have, into that internal representation. And over time you even become naturally good at that process, that becomes unconscious.
So, there are five principles that you need to work with, seven actions, if you do any of them, you’re going to improve. And remember these are things under your control as the learner. Do them all and you’re going to be fluent in a second language in six months.
Thank you.

Comments Thread from YouTube

sorin86yt

Incredible stupid ideas. An incredible collection of sophisms. A stupid guy who has no idea about language learning. And it is supported by “studies”. Of course, you can “speak” Chinese in 10 days, but that will be “hello” and “thank you”. This video is a mockery. This moron cannot even understand the role of grammar. Grammar is not some torture that you sadistically apply to students. Grammar is the short(est)cut to make students understand how that language works: This moron doesn’t even know that there are a lot of people who can’t even speak their mother tongue properly. But “EVERYBODY” will learn a foreign language in 6 months. Will they go to their jobs in the mean time? Take care of their family matters? Sleep? Follow his advice and you’ll speak that language the way lowly-educated immigrants do.

 

 

Marcus T Anthony

Have you considered the possibility that you don’t understand the subject matter? What would happen if, instead of opposing ideas which contradict yours, you tried embracing them?

 

 

Radouane Rabei

I don’t know how or where you get the nerve to be able to say something like ‘Incredible stupid ideas’ and ‘A stupid guy who has no idea about language learning.’ when everything you say after that proves, you actually know absolutely nothing about language learning. How many languages did you have to learn other than English?

 

If it takes you 10 days to learn “hello” and “thank you” in Chinese, or any other language for that matter, that’s called a learning disability, you might wanna have that checked.

 

I learnt to speak English a while back in less than six months, but English is not the best example because it is such a practical language (you use 30% less words in general to say something in English than you would if you say it in French), I honestly think it is one of, if not the easiest language to pick up, I love it

 

Here is another genius statement

 

‘Grammar is the short(est)cut to make students understand how that language works’

 

I was perfectly fluent in French before I knew anything about French grammar, and in fact for French that would be the long(est)cut, French is a very impractical language, with ridiculous grammar rules.

 

This man in the video talks a lot of sense, if you really apply everything he says it would take the average person less than six months to speak any language pretty well, I have done it myself twice, and seen it done countless times with friends I grew up with .

 

Does this mean we should all start fires at our local libraries, and ban language classes, no of course not

 

Are you gonna be perfect in that language in six months, no, but it will be much easier for you to learn grammar after if you still really want to.

 

sorin86yt

+Marcus T Anthony Actually, no, I haven’t. I have 20+ years of experience in language tutoring. I tried some of the new stupid fast-food methods and they are what they are: deceptions. All these fast-food ways have appeared for commercial reasons. They fool potential clients that learning can be miraculously shortened, and also that any moron can learn a foreign language. This way language teaching businesses attract more clients willing to take short-cuts. There are also a lot morons exited by “revolutionary” ideas, like teenagers, and really believe that the man who will live 300 years is already born.

 

 

Jaime Benito de Valle Ruiz

For your information, Chris is almost native-like in Mandarin (I’ve heard him), so I am sure he knows a thing or two about learning a difficult foreign language well, regardless of what is trying to sell us. How about you? I guess you must have mastered dozens of languages to make your claims about how stupid these methods are, right? What he is saying overlaps a lot with the advice I’ve heard from others polyglots, so I don’t think it is as silly as you think… unless you are the indisputable king of languages, that is.

 

By the way, while I first had a placement in a language school, I saw a few students becoming reasonably fluent in other languages within 4 months, to my surprise, and a lot of them within 6 months, and I don’t mean saying hello and goodbye, but maintaining a fluent conversation for hours on topics as complex as politics or sociology, or discussing their cultural or banking problems, as well as being able to read a newspaper without effort and comfortably watching movies without subtitles. Granted, some occasional mistakes here and there sometimes, but good enough to function efficiently in a professional working environment (where they also say hello and goodbye too).

 

One last thing: almost no native speaker in any language has any conscious knowledge of their own grammar. Grammar is great for understanding how a language works, if that is what you want, but it won’t even guarantee that you’ll be able to speak or even understand the language. Grammar is to languages a bit like a book of human physiology is to playing a sport. And I know because I am a grammar freak.

 

Paul Coffey

+sorin86yt Given your 20+ years of tutoring experience, I’m curious to hear what alternative methods you would propose.  Like many of the people who have left comments here, my lived experience of getting to fluency in two new languages (Mandarin Chinese and Cantonese Chinese) matches very closely the methods that Chris is talking about.

 

For example, he talked about acquiring the language based on prior understanding (i.e. the comprehensible input approach).  Based on my experience in China, I found that watching movies in their original English, and then repeatedly watching them with the Chinese audio dubbing, was very useful to me.    Watching them in English allowed me to first understand the story, and then re-watching them in Chinese enabled me to take advantage of the comprehensible input environment.

 

Having said that, I’ve only got my own personal experience to go by.  Clearly, your own experience is somewhat at odds with what Chris is saying.  Could you share a little more about what has worked for you?

 

 

Truthseeker1961

People like ”sorin86yt” who have been deeply entrenched in their respective fields ALWAYS have knee-jerk reactions to new ideas and new methods because THEIR way is the ONLY way, and they don’t want to hear anything about it outside of their norm, and the 6 people who ”liked” his comment are staunch defenders of the status quo no matter what advances are introduced now, or anytime in the future.

 

 

sorin86yt

I kinda knew I was going to stir up such comments from delusional people. However, Youtube comments is not the right place for scientific debates.

 

Almost each minutes of this video contains something stupid. We can only try to point out some of the cheats. The most obvious one is the arbitrary duration: 6 months! Why 6 months and not 6m and 1w? Or 5m and 2w? What exactly does that person do during those 6 months? Only travelling by train in that country? Do they sleep? Do they have a job? Do they see after their family? Are they healthy?

 

Any competent language teacher will tell you that “6 months” is meaningless. The learning process is estimated by professionals in HOURS!!!! Take my intermediate-level English course. The “average” student (“average” – another approximation that kills the idea of a fixed time) will need about 80 hours of instruction with the teacher, and then about the double in individual study (homework, practice, listening etc). A rough total of 240 hours. What is that in calendar time? Nobody can foresee!! If the student happens to have a lot of time to dedicate to the foreign language, let’s say 6 hours/day, we calculate 40 days, which happens to be about 5 times faster that the moron in the video claims. :)  (Not mentioning that 240 hours mathematically equals 10 full days!). However, this doesn’t happen in real time. That “average” student has a job, a family, a hobby, (a disease maybe?), he has to sleep, to eat, to drive… Eventually, it comes down to about 6 hours/week (2 in class and 4 outside), which suggests 40 weeks (a little more than 9 months, not bad, huh?). However, that too rarely happens in real life. In a nine months’ time both the student and the teacher will have holidays, or business travels, or sick leaves… It may go up to 1 year and beyond. BUT the orientation line is always the number of hours. Not X months.

The next level of deception in this video is about the student. Who is that student? Whoever has ever taught anything knows students are of various “speeds” (because of talent (of course, talent matters hugely, morons!), previous knowledge, motivation, practice environment, how serious the student is about learning….). What is “6 months” for a student might be “3 months” for another one or “12 months” for another one (or even “never”!).

 

This video looks just like a stupid teleshopping presentation where they want to make us believe that the kitchen knife is the most spectacular invention of mankind.

 

224. Pronunciation: Verb Tenses & Connected Speech

This episode focuses on how sentences are pronounced quickly by native speakers. This is invaluable knowledge which will help you to take your listening and your pronunciation to the next level! Right-click here to download.

Small Donate ButtonThis is the episode I promised to record at the end of episode 176. In that episode I focused on the major verb tenses in English and I explained their meaning and uses. This episode is the sequel to that one, and it focuses specifically on the pronunciation of sentences containing a range of verb tenses.

You know when you hear a native speaker talking quite quickly? It sounds like all the words are joined together, or some of the words are being swallowed or something. It’s difficult to understand them, or to pick out every single word. Sometimes it’s hard to identify subtle differences between verb tenses. Well, just like in any language, English has features of connected speech which make it sound like whole sentences are just long words with all the sounds connected together. I want to help to demystify this for you. I want to help you to understand connected speech in English. It’ll help your listening comprehension, and it will improve your pronunciation too. So, let’s look at these features of fluent English pronunciation, focusing on sentences containing various verb tenses.

Here are the features of pronunciation I focus on in this episode
– Linking (consonant to consonant, consonant to vowel and vowel to vowel linking)
– Elision of sounds (some sounds are ‘elided’ or removed when consonants link together)
– Intrusive sounds (sometimes vowels are linked to other vowels with intrusive sounds like /j/ or /w/)
– Weak forms and ‘schwa’ sounds /ə/ (in unstressed syllables and unstressed words in sentences)
– Sentence stress (the rhythm of a sentence)

Here are the sentences I repeat in this episode
Listen carefully, and try to repeat them after me. Try to focus on the natural way I say the sentences, and try to notice the features of connected speech I’m highlighting. Don’t forget the meaning of the sentences. For an episode which deals with the meaning & use of these different tenses, click here to listen to episode 176.

Present simple
I teach English at a university, and I’m teaching first year students of law at the moment.

Present continuous
I’m from London, but at the moment I’m living in Paris.
I teach English at a university, and I’m teaching first year students of law at the moment.

Past simple
(for) I lived in West London for a long time.
(sequence of finished actions) My Dad was promoted and got a job in the midlands, so we moved there, and stayed for many years. I went to university in Liverpool and lived there for 4 years, and then I moved back to Warwickshire.

Past continuous
I’d finished uni and I was working in a pub, not really going anywhere.
It was while I was living in London that I came up with the idea of launching an amazing podcast for learners of English
.
I was walking down the street and this guy came up to me and started talking, but I couldn’t understand him

Used to do vs.
Get used to doing
– It used to be quite difficult, because I couldn’t speak the language but I’m getting used to it now.

Present perfect
I’ve been up the Eiffel Tower. I’ve visited Notre Dame. I’ve been to Shakespeare and Company. I’ve tried lots of delicious French wine, but I still haven’t done everything.
Today I’ve drunk a bit too much coffee so I’m pretty hyperactive. Normally I drink tea, but more recently I’ve been drinking coffee. I’ve had about 9,000 cups already today.

Present perfect continuous
I’ve been doing lots of comedy. I’ve been doing lots of gigs.
I’ve been working at the university.
I’ve been recording episodes of the podcast
I’ve hardly had time to sit down and just read my book in silence.

Past perfect
That’s when I decided to become an English teacher.
I’d finished uni and I was working in a pub, not really going anywhere.
When I first came here, I’d never visited Paris before, but my girlfriend had told me a lot about it, so I was kind of prepared.
Past perfect continuous
As well as studying at university and college, I’d also been playing in lots of bands over the past few years, but it hadn’t really worked out, so I needed to think of something else to do.

Going to / present continuous
We’re going to visit New York next month
– I might do a special report from New York
– We’re going to stay in an AirBnB apartment that we’ve found
– We’re planning the trip at the moment.
– We’re flying there in the middle of April. It’s going to be good.

Future with will (not plans, but judgements, opinions, predictions)
Who knows, maybe the LEPPERS will one day rise up.
Hopefully it’ll last. Hopefully they’ll take me on again.
England will probably win.
We probably won’t win. I imagine it will be someone like Spain or Brazil.
1st Conditional
We probably won’t get to the final, but if we do it’ll be amazing.
Who knows what I’ll be doing
Hopefully I’ll still be recording episodes of LEP

Future perfect
Hopefully, I will have done many more episodes of LEP and perhaps I will have expanded my work online in some way.
Future perfect continuous (in a 1st Conditional structure, no less!)
If I’m still doing Luke’s English Podcast , I will have been doing LEP for 15 years.

Future perfect continuous passive!
I will have been being listened to for 10 years (!!!)

221. A Cup of Tea with Corneliu Dragomirescu (Part 2)

Here’s the rest of my conversation with “The Son of the Dragon Tamer”. Right-click here to download this episode. Click here to listen to part 1.

In Part 2
– The difference “pleasshure” and “pleasure”, “bio” and “B.O.”
– The importance of ‘passion’ in France
– Jamie Oliver’s (fake?) cockney accent
– British & American English
– Corneliu’s experiences in America, his acting and his accent
– Corneliu’s learning experiences with a great teacher when he was a child
– The interesting course-book (Essential English for Foreign Students by C. E. Eckersley) which Corneliu used in his English lessons
– The myth of ‘the English gentleman’
– Depictions of Englishness in films
– Stereotypes of Romania
– Romania & Bulgaria’s entry into the EU and the media panic related to migrant workers
– Vampires, Dracula and Romania

Please leave your comments in response to this episode! We want to read your thoughts here. Thank you!
Essential English for Foreign Students by C. E. ECKERSLEY

210. A Cup of Tea with Noman Hosni

Conversation & language feedback with comedian Noman Hosni. Right-click here to download.

Small Donate ButtonHi everyone. Just before starting this episode, I would like to say a very special thank you to all of the people who have entered my competition, which is entitled “Your English Podcast”. I have received about 80 recordings in total, and very soon you’ll be able to listen to them all and then vote for your favourites. So, hold on because the special competition podcasts are coming soon. But now, let’s get started with this episode, which is number 210. Let’s go!

Hello, and welcome to LEP. How are you? I hope you’re well. Hello to all my long-term listeners, or LEPPERS as you are affectionately known. “Why is he calling them LEPPERS?” That’s “Luke’s English Podcasters” or “Luke’s English Podcast People”, or LEPPERS, if you were wondering. If you are new to this podcast, then welcome! This is a podcast specifically designed for learners of English. My name is Luke. It’s my podcast. That’s why it’s called Luke’s English Podcast. I am an English teacher & a comedian from London and with this podcast I aim to help you improve your English while also entertaining you and hopefully making you laugh a little bit in the process. I have loads of listeners from all around the world – so welcome to the community of Luke’s English Podcast people, or LEPPERS – welcome to the LEPPER community, welcome to the club! I sincerely hope you enjoy the podcast and that it helps you get a grip on your English by practising some proper authentic listening! Don’t forget to visit teacherluke.co.uk where you can get lots more information including how to download the podcast, how to find the archive of over 200 previous episodes, how to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and how to find transcripts and notes for episodes of this magical, wonderful, fantastic, exceptional, modest, and unashamedly self-promoting FREE podcast!

Today’s Guest is Noman Hosni
Sometimes I have guests on the show, and we just have a free-flowing conversation in English for your enjoyment & listening practice. Today my guest is a very funny friend of mine called Noman Hosni. Let me tell you a little bit about him. Noman was born in France but he has a multinational background. His father is from Tunisia, his mum is from Iraq, he spent much of his childhood growing up in Switzerland and these days he is spending more and more time in London where he works as a professional stand-up comedian – a lot of my guests are comedians as you may have noticed – and Noman regularly entertains audiences in French in Paris and now in English in the UK too. I think he’s a very funny guy indeed, he always entertains me when I see him performing on stage and I’m very happy to have him on the podcast in this episode. The plan is just to have a bit of a chat with Noman Hosni, but also to find out about his background, his learning English experiences and some of the funny misunderstandings he’s had when trying to speak to people in English.

Noman’s English
Now, before we go any further. Let’s talk for a moment about English. Noman is a similar case to Yacine from episode 182, if you remember him. I’ve invited Noman on the podcast in this episode even though, admittedly, his English is not ‘perfect’ because I’m just impressed by him as a learner of English and I generally just enjoy his company. I think that’s enough as a justification. I don’t really need to justify having particular guests on the show do I? No I don’t, but nevertheless here are a few things that occur to me when I think about Noman and his approach to learning English, and these are a few things that you can consider while listening to this episode:
– Noman knows that he has to learn English by actively using it to achieve something. He does this by not only performing stand-up in English but also by going out of his way to have conversations in English, even if he gets into some slightly embarrassing situations and misunderstandings sometimes – you’ll have to listen to the rest of this podcast to find out more about that. So, the point is, he doesn’t mind making a fool of himself sometimes, because he realises that the reward is a more rapid improvement in his English. He’s prepared to go out of his comfort zone in order to develop his English skills.
– He is really serious about learning English, but he approaches it with a sense of play – I mean, he’s aware of the value of just playing around in English. Sometimes just fooling around and having fun in English is a great way to break down your lack of confidence. The point is – there’s nothing to be afraid of because we’re just having fun. That’s a good attitude that you can adopt when practising your speaking I think. It allows you to open up, improvise and enjoy expressing yourself with the language.
– He’s serious about learning English, but he doesn’t take himself too seriously, and I think that really helps with his confidence.
– I think he’s really funny (although that is subjective, but I’m not alone in finding him funny – he’s a pro) even if his English is not 100% perfect. So, what that means to me is that, he’s already achieving a lot in English and he doesn’t let his mistakes hold him back. His English may not be perfect, but he is communicating successfully.

Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try to avoid making errors. Of course, you’ve got to try to iron out your mistakes to improve, and yes, Noman makes a few language errors in our conversation, as you might notice. That’s certainly not a crime or anything, and it’s all part of the learning process but I am going to correct his mistakes at the end of this podcast so that you can all learn from any errors he makes. I asked him if he minded that, and he said it was fine and that he thought it would be funny actually. Okay, so let’s embarrass Noman by correcting all his errors! No, he really doesn’t mind actually. So, if you do notice errors in Noman’s speech, don’t worry because you will hear error correction and language feedback after our conversation. Do keep listening all the way until the end because the language feedback will be really useful to listen to. You can learn from Noman’s errors. I’ll try to make sure the podcast doesn’t go on for too long so I’ll keep the language analysis brief yet insightful. So, hold tight, enjoy the interview, and stick around for the error correction, and Noman, if you’re listening – do pay attention at the end, you might learn to avoid a few common errors! And next time, you can help me with my French or even my Arabic pronunciation. OK? Alright, it’s a deal, and I’m assuming that you’ve said yes to that deal by the way. What I’m saying is, Noman, you owe me a French lesson, whether you like it or not.

So, enjoy the episode everyone – the interview, and then the language feedback afterwards. Cheers!

Noman Hosni Online
Click here for Noman’s website: http://www.noman.ch
Click here for Noman’s Instagram where he posts videos every day: http://instagram.com/nomanhosni
Click here for more of Noman’s content on Vine: https://vine.co/u/1053524188788891648

Error Correction & Language Feedback
With Noman’s permission, here are some language errors that he made in the interview, with corrections. Listen to the podcast to hear my more detailed corrections.

By the way, this might seem like a lot of errors, but if you compare it to the number of good things & correct things he said, it’s not much at all. Also, I know that many of these are just ‘slips’ rather than proper errors. I mean, Noman will kick himself when he hears some of this because he knows what’s right and wrong, but in the heat of the moment errors will just slip out. Anyway, let’s start.

1. I can smell the saliva of a lot of people. “Saliva” – sa-lee-va /sæli:væ/.
It should be sa-lai-va – /səlaɪvə/

2. What I said before is on the record. “record” – ree-cord – /ˈri:kɔ:d/.
It should be “on the re-cord” – /ˈrekɔ:d/.
/ˈrikɔ:d/ – that’s the verb. “I’m going to record another podcast”

3. He say… and I say…
He said… and I said…

4. From downstairs it don’t look so high. I see the balcony so high.
From downstairs it didn’t look so high. I saw (that) the balcony was really high.

5. You’re not in the good podcast right now.
You’re not listening to the right podcast right now. (Of course I disagree – you’re always listening to the right podcast, when you’re listening to Luke’s English Podcast)

6. “If you broke your leg, just stay down”
If you break your leg, just stay down.

7. It went good.
It went well. Although this is fine in American English (so is it wrong or right? – good question for a DEBATE)

8. One of my first gig.
One of my first gigs.

9. I was trying to put a lot of energy to remove my french accent.
I was trying to put a lot of energy into removing my french accent. To put a lot of energy into doing something.

10. I do a lot of mistakes.
I make a lot of mistakes. (That’s an ironic mistake to make)

11. I write everything and I’ve learn it to make sure there are no mistakes in my English.
I wrote everything (down) and I learned it to make sure (that) there were no mistakes in my English – That’s if he was talking about one instance in the past.

12. Don’t tell to the crowd that I’m French.
Don’t tell the crowd that I’m French.

13. He said me that, and I said, “I fail”.
He told me that and I said, “I failed”.

14. I was not raised by an English person who got an accent.
I was not raised by an English person who had an accent. “Have got” is the same as “have” but we don’t use it in the past. In the past, forget about ‘got’ for possession.

15. Some term are confusing.
Some terms are confusing.

16. There’s some term that doesn’t exist in the dictionary.
There are some terms that don’t exist in the dictionary.

17. You have to masterise all the tools.
You have to master all the tools.

18. It’s the first time I went in London to do a gig in English.
It was the first time I’d been to London to do a gig in English. (Providing background context for an event in the past – the event is the taxi conversation, the context is the line about his first time in London)

19. He seems to be not very agree with me.
He didn’t seem to agree with me. (Remember not to use ‘be’ with ‘agree’)

21. When I realise, I don’t want to correct him.
When I realised, I didn’t want to correct him. (Repeat it for muscle memory)

22. She thought I’m British. I don’t want to embarrass her.
She thought I was British. I didn’t want to embarrass her.

23. We are in Paris actually but maybe you’ll listen to this in 2 years and maybe we will not.
We’re in Paris at the moment (or currently) but maybe you’ll listen to this in 2 years and then maybe we won’t be.

24. Two years ago I can’t imagine that I have this conversation with you.
Two years ago I couldn’t have imagined that I would be having this conversation with you now.

25. I keep talking about another subject. (past)
I kept talking about another subject.
I kept changing the subject.

26. English crowd are more easy to laugh.
English audiences laugh more easily.
It’s easier to make English audiences laugh.

27. I’m agree, I’m impressed.
I agree.

28. Every time someone kill people…
Every time someone kills people…

29. I put energy on it.
I put energy into it.

30. When I speak to English person.
When I speak to English people.

31. I’m keeping push it on my accent.
I’m putting pressure on my accent.
I keep pushing my accent.

32. It was in purpose.
It was on purpose.

33. One of the only things I could remember was the warm.
One of the only things I could remember was the heat.

202. British Comedy: Monty Python & The Holy Grail

[The Constitutional Peasants Scene] Here’s another episode about Monty Python’s Flying Circus, and in this one we’re going to be covering some very interesting topics, such as medieval history, old myths legends & folklore, the British monarchy, marxism and radical politics. In terms of language we’re going to look at some old fashioned formal poetic language, some political vocabulary and also some intonation and sentence stress, and we’ll be doing all of that while understanding and hopefully enjoying a funny scene from a classic British comedy film. So, you really are getting everything in this episode (well, maybe not everything but you know what I mean). A lot of this is transcribed at teacherluke.co.uk. If you find this episode on the website you’ll also see a video, a script for that video and more information. So let’s get started. Right-click here to download this episode.

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Last time I did an episode about Monty Python we had a look at a sketch from the TV show. There are many more sketches which I hope to come back to in the future, but in this episode I’m going to focus on a scene from their first feature film, which is called “Monty Python & The Holy Grail”.

As a reminder: Do consider purchasing MP DVDs, CDs, audio & video downloads and even tickets to see live a live broadcast of their stage show. Details here: http://www.montypythonlive.com

Please remember – this is not a blog post, but an audio podcast episode. To get the full explanations and detail of this episode, you should listen to the whole podcast episode!

Monty Python & The Holy Grail
When was it made, who directed it, and all that stuff?
In 1975. It was written by all the Monty Python team but was directed by Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones. The two Terries were quite controlling & ambitious and decided they wanted to be in charge of the film, and in fact, during the production I think they agreed that the film could be directed by anyone called ‘Terry’, as an effort to keep control of the film.

What’s it about?
It’s about King Arthur’s search for the Holy Grail. It’s set in the 10th century – the middle ages, or ‘dark ages’, a time of mystery and legend! King Arthur is a legendary King of Britain. The legend of Arthur dates back to the 5th & 6th centuries and the story of Arthur has been told many times since. Historians disagree about whether Arthur really existed or not. In the stories, Arthur is said to be the magical leader who defended Britain against real and supernatural enemies. He carried a magical sword called Excalibur, which was given to him by a mysterious spirit known as The Lady of the Lake. The Lady of the Lake is an important figure in the Arthurian legend – she’s a kind of magical woman who got her powers from the wizard Merlin. She’s a bit like Galadriel in the Lord of the Rings stories. In Arthur’s story, This lady emerges from a lake, holding Excalibur and then presents it to Arthur, and in so doing chooses him as the rightful leader of the Britons. It’s hardly a democratic way to choose the executive commander of Britain, but that’s how things were done back in the 5th century!

The Grail in this story is another aspect of Arthurian legend. Apparently, this grail once carried the blood of Jesus, and was sent by Joseph to Britain where it would be protected. Perhaps this is true, perhaps this is just a myth, but the grail is still a potent symbol in British folklore, either as a connection to Jesus, or as a magical cup which can give magical powers to whoever drinks from it (it’s the same cup in the Indiana Jones movie “Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade”)

What happens in the film?
Arthur is sent on a mission by God to find the Holy Grail.
He travels around Britain, visiting castles and collecting a group of knights to help him on his quest.
It’s just an excuse to visit lots of old castles and film a bunch of medieval themed sketches.
Most of it was filmed in Scotland, and the scenery is absolutely beautiful.
It was filmed on a budget of just $400,000, which is tiny in comparison to today’s standards. The Hangover 3, for example, had a budget of $103 million!
The film was financed partly by rock stars Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and Elton John.
It’s now considered one of the funniest British comedy films of all time, and in 2005 it was used by Eric Idle as the basis for the Monty Python musical “Spamalot” which you can see in theatres in London and around the world.
There are a few classic sketches in the film, and I’d like to play one of them for you.

“Constitutional Peasants” – King Arthur Has an Argument with Some Left-Wing Peasants
Arthur is travelling the land, trying to recruit knights to join him on his quest. He visits lots of castles. In this scene, he is approaching a castle, and meets some peasants working on the land. The peasants appear to just be collecting mud & filth from the floor in a field. They’re disgusting & dirty, and yet surprisingly articulate in the language of politics (which is part of the joke). King Arthur decides to ask them for information about the owner of the castle. The peasants don’t give him any useful information. Instead he gets into an argument with one of the peasants about the constitution, monarchy, democratic government and the oppression of the masses in an absolute monarchy.

Constitutional Peasants – Video (you’ll find a script below)

What’s So Funny About This?
One of the funny things about this scene is the anachronism (I mean, the fact that different time periods are mixed up). The king is from the medieval period, but the peasants are basically modern working class people. So it mixes up people from different time periods. The scene also mixes two different speech registers and two different political ideologies as the characters represent different political systems, and we see them argue. It’s unexpected because peasants in the middle ages were unaware of Marxist ideology, and certainly wouldn’t have been intelligent or educated enough to criticise the system in such an articulate way. Arthur speaks in a poetic & medieval way, and represents the system of absolute monarchy which was in place at the time. The peasant speaks like a modern left-wing radical using ideas founded by Karl Marx in the 19th century.

It’s also a joke about conventions of movies or stories set in medieval times in which peasants are always presented as old, dirty and inarticulate servants of the king. When these peasants speak like Marxists from the modern era, it’s quite a surprising & amusing shock.

I realise that now I’ve explained this scene, you probably won’t find it that funny, because explaining humour takes all the immediate fun out of it, but so be it. If you get the humour, good for you! The main thing is: We’re learning English aren’t we, so let’s focus on understanding the scene before trying to see the funny side. This scene is very rich in vocabulary, in either a poetic medieval register, or the language of left-wing politics. Listen to it once to see if you understand it all, and then I’ll explain it all to you afterwards. If you find any of it funny, then that’s a bonus as far as I’m concerned. :)

Vocabulary & Explanations
So, in a nutshell, King Arthur wants to know who lives in the castle, and he asks a couple of peasants, but they don’t help him. Instead he gets involved in an irritating argument about the exploitation of the working classes in this medieval monarchy.

Concepts
There are a few concepts which we need to study in order to fully appreciate this scene. Let’s look at some of those concepts before listening to the scene again. These concepts relate to different constitutional frameworks – I mean, different ways in which a country can be run. We’re talking about political systems like ‘absolute monarchy’, ‘democracy’, ‘Marxism’ and ‘anarchism’.

Absolute Monarchy – in this case a king (monarch) is not elected, but gets their supreme power by divine provenance. This means that the monarch has a special agreement with god. God has chosen the monarch to be the leader of these people. Usually, this is tied to old mythical stories which involve some supernatural intervention in which the king is chosen by god. In the case of King Arthur this was when he was given a holy sword (Excalibur) by a magical & mythical woman called The Lady of the Lake. The story goes that this lady is a kind of supernatural & mythical spirit who holds magical and religious authority. In the story she walks out of a lake and presents Arthur with his magical sword, which signifies that he is the divine ruler of Britain. Most monarchies justify their existence by suggesting they have some kind of special connection to god. In this sketch, Arthur believes he is the rightful ruler of the Britons because of his divine right given by god.

Democracy – in this case, the people give executive power (decision making power) to a representative by voting for him/her. The people give this leader a ‘mandate’ – which means a responsibility to run the country. It’s the government by the people, of the people and for the people. Churchill said that democracy is not perfect, but it’s better than the alternatives. In the UK today we have a democratic monarchy, which is basically a democracy (we vote for MPs in elections) but with a monarch as head of state with almost no executive power. The Queen has very minor powers, and she doesn’t exercise them. It’s like there is an understanding between parliament and the monarchy that the monarch just lets parliament run the country. The monarch doesn’t interfere. That’s the way our country works. Some people are concerned that Prince Charles might decide to exercise his power if/when he becomes king, which could cause a constitutional crisis, but that’s another story for another time.

Marxism – this isn’t really a constitutional system, but an political ideology, or a way of understanding the way in which most industrial/post-industrial capitalist systems work. Karl Marx was a German born philosopher, economist, sociologist and historian who basically stated that the ruling classes manage to maintain control of the system by owning the means of production, and that the working classes are therefore dominated and repressed. The only way in which true equality can exist is if the people own their own land, their own factories and the means of producing goods. His ideas formed the basis of many left-wing political models including communism, and also form the basis of many criticisms of the capitalist system in general. In the UK, we sometimes associate Marxist ideologies with certain types of people. Although their views may be valid, I think most ordinary people find Marxists to be a bit extreme and even boring – banging on about politics and the class system all the time, while not necessarily doing anything about it.

Anarchism – this is the idea that there should be no leaders at all, and in fact no formalised system of government or state at all. Instead, local communities should be run by free and open groups with no leader. The idea is, that formalised governments, or power structures are essentially corrupting – that when power is given to one or several representatives, elected or not, that this ultimately will corrupt them and that this leads to inequality. So, anarchists argue that there should be no system at all, and that people should be free to govern themselves in a completely open way – without adopting any kind of political ideology or dogma. For me, in principle this sounds great, but on a practical level it sounds chaotic, confusing and impractical. Ultimately, it would be great to remove the corrupting power of government, but are we ready for it? We’d need an intelligent and activated population. Education is key. The problem, to an extent, is that many people don’t really care about these issues and instead just find political discussion boring, therefore making it very hard for true anarchy to take effect. A bit like Marxism, many people find anarchists to be either boring, confusing or somehow threatening to normal life.

Vocabulary
OK, so we’ve looked at some ideological concepts at the heart of this sketch, but we’re not finished because there’s plenty of language to deal with too. It’s complex isn’t it!? You see – British comedy is intelligent and deep, particularly Monty Python. It’s not just weird.

Here’s some vocabulary that you should know in order to understand this sketch further. Remember that Arthur speaks in old fashioned language, and Dennis the peasant speaks like a modern man with radical political opinions. Listen to the episode to hear all the bold words defined.

What knight lives in that castle over there?
– a knight is (in the Middle Ages) a man who served his sovereign or lord as a mounted soldier in armour. In this context it means a leader.
you automatically treat me like an inferior

exploiting the workers!
– exploiting means to benefit unfairly from the work of (someone), typically by overworking or underpaying them: “women are exploited in the workplace”.

hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society
-dogma = a principle or set of principles laid down by an authority as incontrovertibly true: the dogmas of faith | [ mass noun ] : “the rejection of political dogma”.

Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here.

I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
– autonomous = • having the freedom to act independently: “school governors are legally autonomous”.

You’re fooling yourself. We’re living in a dictatorship: a self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes–
– an autocracy = a system of government by one person with absolute power.

Oh, there you go bringing class into it again.

Please! Please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?

Dennis: I told you. We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,…
Arthur: Yes.
Dennis: …but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting…
Arthur: Yes, I see.
Dennis: …by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,…
Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis: …but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major–
– ratify = sign or give formal consent to (a treaty, contract, or agreement), making it officially valid. “both countries were due to ratify the treaty by the end of the year”.
– a simple majority = this candidate receives more votes than anyone else (but it doesn’t have to be more than 50% of all votes cast) e.g. if Obama, Bush & Clinton are in an election and Clinton gets 40% and Obama & Bush get 30% each, Clinton gets a simple majority. She just gets more votes than the others.
– a two-thirds majority = at least 66% of all the votes
– an absolute majority = at least 51% of all votes

Woman: Well, how did you become King, then?
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake,… [angels sing] …her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
– samite = a rich silk fabric interwoven with gold and silver threads, used for dressmaking and decoration in the Middle Ages.

Dennis: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

I mean, if I went round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!

Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I’m being repressed!
Arthur: Bloody peasant!
Dennis: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That’s what I’m on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn’t you?

What I love about this is that it’s a well written script, with different types of English and it manages to mock both the idea of a medieval monarchy, and also the irritating verbosity of political radicals. Monty Python are making fun of history & taking the piss out of everyone, while at the same time celebrating the language. Complex language, delivered at speed by colourful characters is at the heart of the humour in this sketch.

Intonation & Sentence Stress
I really enjoy the performances in this scene – particularly Michael Palin who plays Dennis the peasant. The lines are delivered with quite exaggerated and characterful intonation and sentence stress. To highlight this, I’m going to read the script of this scene, just to make it a bit clearer. You could listen to the original version again in order to, hopefully, appreciate it a bit more.

Constitutional Peasants – Script
Arthur: Old woman!
Dennis: Man!
Arthur: Man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I’m thirty-seven.
Arthur: I– what?
Dennis: I’m thirty-seven. I’m not old.
Arthur: Well, I can’t just call you ‘Man’.
Dennis: Well, you could say ‘Dennis’.
Arthur: Well, I didn’t know you were called ‘Dennis’.
Dennis: Well, you didn’t bother to find out, did you?
Arthur: I did say ‘sorry’ about the ‘old woman’, but from the behind you looked–
Dennis: What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!
Arthur: Well, I am King!
Dennis: Oh, King, eh, very nice. And how do you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there’s ever going to be any progress with the–
Woman: Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here. Oh! How d’you do?
Arthur: How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
Woman: King of the who?
Arthur: The Britons.
Woman: Who are the Britons?
Arthur: Well, we all are. We are all Britons, and I am your king.
Woman: I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Dennis: You’re fooling yourself. We’re living in a dictatorship: a self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes–
Woman: Oh, there you go bringing class into it again.
Dennis: That’s what it’s all about. If only people were aware of–
Arthur: Please! Please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
Woman: No one lives there.
Arthur: Then who is your lord?
Woman: We don’t have a lord.
Arthur: What?
Dennis: I told you. We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,…
Arthur: Yes.
Dennis: …but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting…
Arthur: Yes, I see.
Dennis: …by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,…
Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis: …but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major–
Arthur: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Woman: Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Heh.
Arthur: I am your king!
Woman: Well, I didn’t vote for you.
Arthur: You don’t vote for kings.
Woman: Well, how did you become King, then?
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake,… [angels sing] …her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
Dennis: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis: Well, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: I mean, if I went round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
Arthur: Shut up, will you? Shut up!
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I’m being repressed!
Arthur: Bloody peasant!
Dennis: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That’s what I’m on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn’t you?

200. New Competition: “Your English Podcast”

Details of a new competition for you to enter, how it feels to complete 200 episodes of the podcast, jingles, a message from Alex & Paul, and more! Right click here to download.

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Introduction
Hello! And welcome to the podcast. This is a very special episode, because it’s the 200th one! Wow, I made it to 200! Amazing! Obviously I’m delighted about that. This is the 200th anniversary of LEP, and before I tell you all about how that feels, I’d like to begin this episode by telling you about a new competition I’m launching today, which I’d love you to take part in. So first I’m going to tell you all about the competition, and then I’ll celebrate 200 episodes of LEP with you. OK, so let’s get started.

This is the 200th episode of Luke’s ENGLISH Podcast and to celebrate this momentous occasion I’ve decided to launch another LEP competition in which you can send me your audio recordings. I did a similar competition over 2 years ago, and now I’m doing another one. This one’s called “Your English Podcast”. Why? Because I’d like you to imagine you are recording 5 minutes of your own English podcast. Just record and send your 5 minutes (or less) to me, I’ll play your recordings on the podcast and then listeners can vote for their favourite. I will count all the votes and announce the winner. The prize for the winner is to be interviewed on an episode of Luke’s English Podcast.

Doesn’t that sound exciting? It should do!

I did my first competition 2 years ago and it was amazing to hear the voices of my listeners. Camila Andrade from Brazil won that one. She got a very special prize – a phrasal verb dictionary.
Since then, the podcast has gone from strength to strength and I’ve picked up new listeners, old listeners have improved their English, I’ve dealt with many more topics and events on the podcast. It’s time for us to hear what the LEPPERS have to say for themselves. This is your chance to have your voice heard on Luke’s English Podcast. And ultimately, if you win, you could become famous around the world as you are interviewed on the podcast via Skype. If you’re shy, I understand – I’m nice, I’ll make sure you’re okay, and so will the listeners – because the great thing about the LEP community is that my listeners are good people. I can’t wait to hear from you, and to give you a platform to say what you’ve got to say to the world.

The Competition in a nutshell
Record yourself talking about whatever you want for 5 minutes, send the recording to me, I’ll feature all your recordings on special episodes of the podcast, listeners can vote for their favourite and the one with the most votes gets featured on an episode of the podcast in a Skype call with me.
BUT there are some rules to make sure this competition is fair and is not impossible for me to manage in my limited time!
Please carefully observe the following rules. If you don’t follow the rules, you might be disqualified from the competition. It’s important to establish some rules because otherwise this competition could be really difficult for me to manage. So, rules are rules, and here are those rules:

Rules for the Competition
– Opening date: NOW! The competition is now open so get started!

– Closing date for entries: 31 August 2014. After that I will collect all your audio recordings and take time to prepare episodes in which I showcase your competition entries. People can then vote by leaving comments on teacherluke.co.uk. I’ll give you more information about voting later on.

– Time: You’ve got 5 minutes, maximum. You can talk for less than 5 minutes if you like, but please make sure you don’t exceed the 5 minute limit.

– What to say: You can say whatever you want! This is 5 minutes of YOUR podcast. If you like, you can imagine you have your own English podcast, called “Jose’s English Podcast” or whatever your name happens to be. If you like, you can welcome listeners to your podcast at the start by saying “Hello and welcome to Jose’s English Podcast”, and say goodbye to your listeners at the end. It’s completely up to you what you say, and how you say it. This is your English podcast.

– Name & Country: Remember to tell us your name and where you come from. This will help people to remember you and vote for you.

– Voting: I will collect all the audio files which are sent to me, and I’ll play them all in one episode (or more) of LEP, in alphabetical order by name. Listeners can then vote by leaving comments.

– Audio files: Send your audio file to podcastcomp@gmail.com only. I will only accept entries which are sent to that email address. Please do not send me competition entries on Facebook or to my Hotmail account. podcastcomp@gmail.com is the only email address I will accept.

– I’m only accepting audio files – not text entries this time.

– I’ll give you more information about voting later. For now, you can start preparing your competition entries!

So in summary:
– The competition is now open. Send your audio files (max 5 minutes) to podcastcomp@gmail.com. The closing date is 31 August 2014. After that I will upload showcase episodes of LEP and you can vote for your favourite entry. More information will follow in later episodes…

Some Bits of Advice
When recording your entry, try to make the sound quality as good as possible. Most phones and computers will allow you to record your voice pretty easily, but try to be in a quiet room in your house, away from noisy windows, washing machines or other people.

You can send me audio in a variety of file formats: wav, mp3, mp4, avi etc. I prefer mp3 as it is quicker to process.

If you want you can include a jingle, sound effects or even background music, but you’ll find this is pretty time-consuming and complicated. Ultimately, people just want to hear your voice clearly, so focus on that.

It’s normal to be a bit stressed or nervous when recording yourself. Don’t let that stop you. Try to enjoy it! Enthusiasm is a very attractive quality. LEPers are all lovely people so don’t worry – you’re among friends and I’m sure people are going to be very welcoming and enthusiastic about hearing what you have to say.

Try not to read out a script which you have prepared earlier. You can do this if you like, but I think it sounds more natural if you’re not reading from a pre-written script, and ultimately it’s better for your spoken English. Writing notes is a good idea – just write the main points you want to make, but don’t write it out word for word – just write enough to help you remember.

You should practise your speech a few times until you’re comfortable.

Try to bring your speech to life and put your personality into it if possible.

If you prefer, you can just improvise the whole thing without any practice – in fact, that might be even more exciting or engaging if you do that, but it will also be slightly more challenging too.

Ultimately, just have fun and enjoy taking part in the competition. Don’t stress too much – it should be enjoyable and a fun way to practise your spoken English. I’m sure that everyone will be fascinated to hear short messages from LEPers all around the world! Personally, I can’t wait.

If you don’t know what to say and you need inspiration, perhaps you could respond to something you’ve heard on Luke’s English Podcast, or even (as a joke) you could parody my style of talking on LEP, a bit like this (from Alex Love & Paul Langton). It’s totally up to you. I’m really looking forward to receiving your audio entries at podcastcomp@gmail.com, so get started!

And now some chat about the 200th Anniversary of Luke’s English Podcast with English Robot 3000
Why did you start LEP?
When did you start LEP?
Did you ever expect to get to this point? (200 episodes, and nearly 1.5million downloads in 9 months)
What’s your objective with LEP?
What level is the podcast for?
Are you ever going to stop LEP?
What’s your favourite thing about doing LEP?
Are you happy doing LEP?
Does it ever make you unhappy? Is there anything frustrating or even scary about doing LEP?
What do you expect from your listeners? Small Donate Button
Do you ever get any negative comments, hate mail, or trolling?
Are you rich yet? How rich are you now?
What do your friends and family think of LEP?
Has LEP helped you in your life?
How does it feel to be so famous?
How much time does it take to do an episode of LEP?
Why don’t you do more videos?
How about arranging an event so that you can meet LEPPERS?
Why don’t you have your girlfriend/fiancee on the podcast?
How’s your French?
Someone told me that you have a new job? Is it true?
Do you have anything else to say to the people of the world?

Song Lyrics
P.S. The song I sing at the end of this episode is called “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” by Eric Idle and comes from the soundtrack to the film “The Life of Brian” by Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Buy the film on iTunes here: https://itunes.apple.com/au/movie/monty-pythons-life-of-brian/id294661981

    Always Look on the Bright Side of Life – Monty Python

Am D G Em
Some things in life are bad they can really make you mad
Am D G
Other things just make you swear and curse
Am D
When you’ve chewing an life’s gristle
G Em
Don’t grumble give a whistle
Am D7
And this’ll help things turn out for the best

G Em Am D7 G Em Am D7
And always look on the bright side of life
G Em Am D7 G Em Am D7
Always look on the light side of life

Am D G Em
If life seems jolly rotten there’s something you’ve forgotten
Am D G
and that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
Am D G Em
When you’ve feeling in the dumps don’t be silly chumps
Am D7
Just purse your lips and whistle – that’s the thing

G Em Am D7 G Em Am D7
And always look on the bright side of life
G Em Am D7 G Em Am D7
Come on always look on the bright side of life

Am D G Em
For life is quite absurd and death’s the final word
Am D G
you must always face the curtain with a bow
Am D G Em
Forget about your sin – give the audience a grin
Am D7
Enjoy it – it’s your last chance anyhow.

G Em Am D7 G Em Am D7
So always look on the bright side of death
G Em Am D7 G Em Am D7
just before you draw your terminal breath

Am D G Em
Life’s a pice if shit when you look at it
Am D G
Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke it’s true
Am D
You’ll see it’s all a show
G Em
keep’em laughing as you go
Am D7
just remember that the last laugh is on you

G Em Am D7 G Em Am D7
And always look on the bright side of life
G Em Am D7 G Em Am D7
Always look on the right side of life
(Come on guys, cheer up)
A F# Bm E7 A F# Bm E7
Always look on the right side of life
A F# Bm E7 A F# Bm E7
Always look on the right side of life ….
Episode 200 podpic

185. The Trip to New York

As promised, here is a description of my holiday in The Big Apple! In this episode I tell you what I did, what I saw and what it was like for me. You can read some vocabulary in the notes (not necessarily full sentences) that I’ve added below. There’s a slideshow of photos at the bottom if you fancy looking at that.

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Ambient music in the background – Bloom app by Brian Eno
This is an experiment to see how it sounds and how it affects the episode. I put music on in the background from time to time just to give episodes another element. This might make you fall asleep! I hope not. Well, if you do fall asleep we can blame the music and not me! The music is made using an app developed by Brian Eno. It’s a really clever app that allows you to compose ambient music that slowly loops and evolves over time.

Holiday Stories
People’s holiday stories can be boring, especially if they go to the beach.
People sometimes bore you with holiday photos, or even worse a long video of their holiday.

I certainly hope that this episode holds your attention. It should, because NYC is a very vibrant and interesting place and there are lots of things to say about it. You’ll also hear me using all kinds of phrases and vocabulary during the episode – the sort of language that is used to describe a holiday or a trip, or language for describing places and experiences, although I have not formally planned to teach you any specific items of vocabulary, we’ll just see what comes up.

So, let’s start.
I went in April, and that’s about 6 weeks ago. It’s still pretty fresh in my memory.

Times Square

Times Square

Context: I’ve lived in a few cities. London, Yokohama/Tokyo, Paris, Liverpool. I’ve also visited quite a few other cities, like Berlin, Barcelona, Milan, Rome, Oslo, Ho Chi Min City and others. Each city has its own unique atmosphere, story and appeal. New York though seems to be like the king of cities. I’ve never been to Moscow, Sao Paolo, Madrid, Prague, Seoul (except the airport) or many many other places. One day I would love to go. New York sticks in my imagination as the king of cities though. Perhaps it just has the best marketing – with all the movies and so on. But overall, New York seems to be the best example of a modern metropolis – a super-city.

Also, there are different levels of experience you can have when you visit a place. If you’ve lived there all your life, you’ll know one version of it. If you are a permanent resident, but you’ve lived in other places, you’ll have a different perspective, and if you’re just visiting as a tourist you’ll have another vision. As a tourist I realise I’m just scraping the surface really. The reality of living there must be quite different. I expect it can be a tough place to live just like anywhere else. NYC is know for being quite a stressful place for its residents, with the stereotype of the impatient New Yorkers who rush around, shouting “I’m walking here!” or desperately trying to get a cab, or arguing with someone in the street. Also, New York must hold lots of secrets for the people who know it well. The best places to go, the best food joints, the shortcuts though the streets, and the little tricks that you pick up regarding how to get by in the city. For example, in London you learn fairly quickly that you’re expected to do things in a certain way. Queueing etiquette, how to book a table, areas in town that you should avoid at certain times. So, as a tourist I was just scratching the surface. But NYC has a lot to offer to everyone – either permanent residents or temporary visitors. It’s a vast, sprawling place which has many faces. It’s pretty clear by now that I loved it and I think it’s incredible.

How does New York compare to the USA as a whole.

Why New York? Why not one of the other wonderful places in the world?

The flights
The in-flight entertainment
What it’s like being on a plane for about 7 hours. What are the difficulties and what are the joys?
I pissed off a stewardess and she ignored me forever after that.
They’re not so much there to serve you, but to dictate to you what you must do. She felt like Nurse Ratchet.
“I need you to turn that off for me please”
In-flight entertainment – Walther Mitty, All Is Lost – made me cry. Why do we get more emotional when we’re in the air?
Best and worst places to sit?
Fears about landings and take-offs?
Jerry Seinfeld – Airports & Flying (Seinfeld is the king of observational comedy and this is a classic routine about airports & flying.)

Arriving in America
Views of cars from the air. Big American cars.
Immigration – long queue, quite strict staff (I need you to turn off that cell phone! – Sir! Put the cell phone away! I’m turning it off. You don’t need to turn it off, just put it in your paaackit. etc)
Made jokes with the immigration officer guy. “Is he with you?” “No” Do you have children sir. “Not as far as I know” “Now would be a weird time to find out”…
Arriving in the airport – the first thing that hit us – the smell of french fries, and ketchup. That was the first smell. We took the train – quite loud and aggressive announcements to put bags up, but we couldn’t.
People were immediately friendly and helpful.
We got off at the wrong stop and ended up in New Jersey.
Arrived in Penn station finally – in the middle of Manhattan. Classic New York. Big buildings, yellow cabs, Madison Square Garden. Lots of people.
Everything is BIG!
Buildings, cars and PEOPLE.
Some people seem to be kind of square in shape.
Some classic NYC accents – train staff, police officers, a girl who helped us buy train tickets.
Cab ride to our neighbourhood. Looking out the window at the skyscrapers.
TV in the back of the cab.
Dropped off in our neighbourhood – lower East side. Clinton Street.
Quite downmarket & a bit rough, but very cool and hip. It felt safe, and very trendy. Organic cafes serving bagels and good coffee.
It felt like 100 movies and TV shows.
We were pretty knackered when we arrived.
We unpacked and then discovered the area a bit.

Katz Deli
The first thing we did was go to a place called Katz Delicatessen, which is a famous place for several reasons. 1. It has featured in a few films, notably “When Harry Met Sally”. 2. The food is amazing, particularly the pastrami sandwich. Massive amounts, really delicious. Just what the doctor ordered.
The place was amazing. Super friendly service. Full of locals.

Brooklyn
Sesame Street vibe.
Flea market.
Buildings.
Brownstones. Stoops.
Cops taping off an area with yellow police lines. NYPD Blue?
Ate lunch on steps listening to soulful house music blaring out of a speaker in the market, while a bearded hipster mended fixie bikes and mixed-race families let their kids run around and dance to the music. It was cool and hipsterish, but really it was a good atmosphere with a community spirit.
It reminded me of London – but a massive London on steroids.
Some areas were similar. Brooklyn felt a bit like South London, or the trendy parts of East London. Soho felt exactly like Soho, but massive. Times Square was like Leicester Square/Piccadilly Circus, but much bigger. Parts of Broadway felt like Oxford Street, but, yes, much bigger.
Everything is bigger – have I already said that?
Food portions & drinks – which is convenient because you can always order the small size.
Drink bottles are about 25% bigger than back home.
We walked back from Brooklyn to Manhattan via Williamsburg, which is a super-cool area full of very trendy people and hipster shops and cafes etc. It was very sunny and hot. On the way back we stopped near the river to rest. There was a large open area with a sports field, grass, and bars with big barbecues outside. Lots of people were drinking and eating in the sun, and there was an amazing view of the Manhattan skyline across the river in front of us.
We kept walking and came across a latin bar that was playing loud Salsa music, and loads of people were drinking and dancing outside the bar. This was just on a street corner near the Williamsburg bridge. It was about 6pm. I realised how multicultural the place is. There’s a large latin community and it’s reflected int he music. In fact, New York is famous for its diverse music. There’s the afro-American thing, the latin thing, disco and hip hop, a Caribbean influence, a jazz tradition, funk & soul music and also a folk and rock music tradition. It all combines to create a pretty brilliant melting pot. One of the cool things was to listen to music coming out of people’s cars. All of it sounded good.
The street where we stayed – cars blaring out music.
Took a taxi over Williamsburg Bridge.

Skyscraper district
The cool things about skyscrapers or big buildings that are on the skyline (and Mt Fuji in Japan) is that you see them from lots of different angles in the city. You can be walking around any part of New York and you’ll catch the Empire Stage Building or the Chrysler Building from a new angle and it immediately gives that area a kind of distinction. It happens in London now too. You can see The Shard from the north, south, east and west.
We took the subway to the central part of town and just walked around with our jaws on the floor. Amazing buildings towering above us.
I expected to see Spiderman flying between the buildings or something. We made our way to the Rockefeller Plaza and took a lift way up to the top. The Top of the Rock as it’s called. There’s an amazing view from up there. You can see the entire city and all the skyscrapers. Don’t go up the Empire State because you can’t see The Empire State Building, which is one of the coolest buildings in the city.

Shopping
I bought some shoes.
“Sneakers” as they call them in the states. In NY everyone wears sneakers.
I don’t know why they call them that.
I don’t think anyone’s using them for sneaking. (Walking quietly, like a robber)
It’s not like everyone in New York is going “Shhh! You’ve got to walk quietly! This is New York! don’t make too much noise!”
In the UK we call them “trainers”. I don’t know what I’m training for. Maybe to get some better shoes.
“Sports shoes” although I’m pretty sure I won’t be doing any sport. Probably the opposite of sport – just standing around & drinking.
Customer service culture.
Everything is massive.
Big salads.
You can just buy a small anything. Small drink, small coffee, small salad.

Metropolitan Opera House
Madame Butterfly. Amazing visuals. Beautiful opera house – art deco design. Modern, but classic. Lovely open space and some chic New Yorkers in the audience. The stage is big and it was well used in the production. It was directed by Anthony Minghella – a British director who directed The English Patient, Cold Mountain etc. His films seem to tell similar stories – lovers who are separated by large distances and who live with the impossible hope of reuniting with their lovers. Madame Butterfly tells a story like this. To be honest, I wasn’t impressed by the story, and the script was pretty awful in my opinion. Maybe it’s because it’s a translation from Italian, and because it’s opera. It’s a different medium, not like cinema. Perhaps it’s not about the script, but about the visuals, and the singing. It’s probably more impressive in Italian. Anyway, I found the script and story to be pretty cheesy, and pretty stupid in fact. I don’t mean to be a philistine or anything, but let’s have a quick look at the story. It’s mainly the characters who I don’t like, I think. I fail to see the romance in it, and instead I just see people being really irresponsible. Story…

Weather
Sunny, then snowing and freezing! (It seems that the weather is pretty variable everywhere these days)
Freezing our asses off, and hiding in a meatball bar – drinking beer and eating spaghetti & meatballs while a small storm raged outside. Bliss!

Madison Square Garden & The Basketball Game
The Chicago Bulls vs The New York Knicks.
Amazing American Entertainment. The good and the bad. The food, the constant entertainment. Is it just an excuse to eat hot dogs?

Central Park
It’s like Hyde Park really, but bigger. The combination of the skyline and the greenery is very appealing. It makes you think of all kinds of Hollywood films. It also makes me think of John Lennon and Yoko Ono walking around in the late 1970s. We saw the disco dancers and roller skaters, and the other performers. It’s very crowded and full of tourists.

Other Highlights
The Comedy Cellar + Seeing Louis CK!

The Highline
Wall Street
Wholefoods Supermarkets
Getting fit from walking
Old buildings – it must get very cold
Classy restaurant in Soho

The McKittrick Hotel & “Sleep No More”
It was a surprise.
This turned out to be one of the strangest and mysterious experiences I’ve had for a long time.
The McKittrick Hotel is a 6 or 7 storey building which has been converted into a bar on one floor, and the rest of the floors have been taken over by a theatre company from London called “PunchDrunk”. They’ve converted all these rooms on all these floors (about 100 rooms) into an elaborate and interactive theatre space. Every evening a performance takes place within this space, and you as the audience can just walk around, exploring the space, investigating rooms, and there is a whole performance also going on around you. Sometimes you see performers, sometimes you follow them around from room to room observing the action from inside the space. The closest thing I could compare it to, was a computer game such as Resident Evil 2, or other suspenseful horror mystery games.
Go through the experience from the beginning – that may be the best way to explain it.
Queue up – normal restaurant or night club in New York.
When you enter – you leave your coats, and a silent woman gives you a playing card. I got number 13, and my girlfriend got a different card. Then we walked into a corridor and it was really dark. We laughed a bit at this because the illusion was beginning. We walked up stairs and into a bar, but it was like a scene from Twin Peaks. There was a girl singing a jazz tune, and people in 1920s costumes standing at the bar. The place was dark and smokey and it felt like Twin Peaks or some American noir thriller. I expected to see Jessica Rabbit at any moment. We got some drinks and waited. Every now and then a man in a tuxedo with a posh British accent would call out numbers, and groups of people would disappear out of the room…
Click here to visit the website for Sleep No More at The McKittrick Hotel.

New York Slideshow

183. Luke’s D-Day Diary (Part 1)

Join me on a trip to Normandy for the commemoration of the World War 2 D-Day landings. Podcasting on my feet, some unexpected things happened during this trip.

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Introduction
Friday 6 June this year was the 70th anniversary of the DDay landings in Normandy. My Grandad Dennis was one of the soldiers who landed on the beach that day. Along with thousands of other men he risked his life to fight the Nazis in the 2nd World War. Many of his fellow soldiers did not survive. Last Friday I went to Caen in Northern France to take part in the D-Day commemorations and to see my comedy hero Eddie Izzard performing stand-up in 3 languages. I recorded a podcast during my trip, and some unexpected things happened! Listen to the episode to join me on my adventure.
6 June 1944 – D-Day
D-Day was a very important moment in World War 2. This was when the Allies fought back against the Nazis on the Western European front. It was a key victory for the Allies, but it was also very costly, particularly for the Americans, who lost thousands of men on June 6 alone. For more information about why D-Day was so important, click here to visit the website of the Imperial War Museum in London.

Ultimately, D-Day was a success, but it came with great destruction and loss of human life. The success was due in part to the very careful planning of the Allied forces before the day, but also to the extremely tough fighting in which the Nazis were engaged in the east with the Soviets.

Why was it called D-Day? Click here to find an answer to this question on the BBC Newsround website.

My D-Day Diary
In this episode you’ll join me on my journey to Caen, a town in Normandy that was a very important location during the Normandy campaign in WW2. Caen is where most of the commemorations were taking place (or so I thought). On Friday the town was visited by lots of people including heads of state such as The Queen, Barack Obama, Francoise Hollande, Vladimir Putin and Angela Merkel. They were all very excited to learn that Luke from Luke’s English Podcast was also going to be in town ;)

I was podcasting regularly during the trip. First you hear me on the train, then walking through the streets of Caen on the way to my rented apartment room, then sitting on the steps of a church with my friend Sebastian Marx (from episode 130), then in a car with Yacine, on the street again, and finally in the train on the way home the next day. In the episode I talk about D-Day, my Grandfather’s involvement in D-Day 70 years ago, my experience of seeing Eddie Izzard’s comedy show, the dumbfounding excitement of having dinner with Eddie Izzard. All in all it was quite an emotional experience all round. I hope you enjoy the episode…

My Grandad, Dennis Hallam

Dennis is 94 this year. 70 years ago he was just 24 years old but he was an officer in the army, in charge of 35 young soldiers. It was his responsibility to lead these men off the boat, up the beach and ultimately all the way through France and deep into enemy territory. It was very brave of him, and he fought for my freedom. Without Grandad, I wouldn’t be here today and there would be no Luke’s English Podcast. Thanks Dennis.

Recently my Dad (Dennis’s son-in-law) wrote to Dennis to thank him for what he did on D-Day. Here is a copy of Dennis’s reply, typed onto a computer by my Mum (Dennis’s daughter). Some words are defined below.

Dear Rick,
Thank you for your “Thankyou” card which made me feel both proud and embarrassed – I was only one of thousands.

It was pretty hairy, and for me and many others it started long before we reached the beach. The Channel crossing was vile – I was dreadfully sick. At some point during the night it was my turn to be Duty Army Officer on the bridge and I had to climb up there being sick and miserable. So it was almost a great relief to get onto the beach, even though wet through, having had to wade ashore, and even though there were assorted bits of metal flying around. What amazes and horrifies me is to think that I was just 24 and in charge of and responsible for a platoon of 35 soldiers. If there were privileges attached to commissioned ranks – and there were, of course, I think we deserved them – a lot was asked of us.

However, it was a war that had to be fought, I think, and one simply called on one’s training and did what seemed right at any situation.

I hope the celebrations will go well and it is good to know that what we did is remembered and honoured.

Thank you again – it was very kind of you.

Yours, Dennis.

Thank you too Grandad.

Eddie Izzard
He’s a stand-up comedian from the UK. I’m a huge fan. I won’t write more about him here because I’m planning to do an episode about him soon, in which I’ll play you some of his stand-up comedy. On 6 June he put on a special show, doing 3 performances – one in German, one in English and one in French. That’s really impressive, especially considering he is learning both German and French as second (or third?) languages. I was pretty awestruck to actually meet Eddie on Friday and then sit down to dinner in his company. I still can’t believe it happened because he’s sort of a hero of mine. Listen to the podcast to hear my reactions. I was quite excited.

Here’s some video of Eddie talking about how Anglo-Saxon English evolved, including his version of how English became a non-gendered language, distinct from the gendered French which existed in England at around the same time.

Here is a video showing footage of the D-Day operation. To be honest, the video doesn’t really show us how big the operation was. It was the biggest naval armada the world had ever seen, and has ever seen since. It must have been an overwhelming sight to behold.

War Is Hell

“Some of you young men think that war is all glamour and glory,
but let me tell you, boys, it is all hell!”
-General William T. Sherman

182. Learning English with Yacine Belhousse

This episode is all about the relationship between language, successful communication, stand-up comedy and learning English! It features an interview with the one-and-only Yacine Belhousse, who is a professional stand-up comedian in his native language and now in English too. A year and a half ago, Yacine hardly spoke any English. Now he regularly performs in English and this year he is doing a 1 hour stand-up comedy show at the Edinburgh fringe festival. How does he do it? How does he deal with the challenges of learning English while also making people laugh in English too? Listen and find out!

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I’m really pleased to present every episode of Luke’s English Podcast, but this one makes me extra pleased. Why? I just think that we come to some particularly useful conclusions during this conversation, especially related to the attitude that you need to learn English effectively. I’m also pleased to present Yacine because he’s got a great attitude towards learning English and because I think he’s really funny.

Conclusions about Learning Language
In summary here are some of the key points about learning English & communication from our conversation:
– To communicate well, you must take responsibility for communicative exchanges.
– Remember when you’re talking to native speakers, you’re just talking to another human. They have no reason to judge you if you’re just trying to communicate to achieve something. In fact, native speakers have the same responsibility for successful communication as you. So don’t feel that you’re totally responsible for any communication breakdown.
– Be confident and don’t worry about making mistakes. If you do make mistakes, you can learn from them and that’s how you improve. If you’re concerned that you can’t be confident – don’t worry. Confidence is something which just happens when you try to do something. If you focus on achieving successful communication, and don’t get upset by failure – confidence will just come naturally. So, don’t worry about confidence. Just focus on trying to achieve things.
– Have an organised approach to learning – mentally store words and phrases you like in the “good things bucket”. Reject bits of communication that didn’t work in the “bad things bucket”. Perhaps revisit the “bad things bucket” to learn from the errors, but enjoy the contents of your “good things bucket” too!
– Repeat words and phrases that you’ve learned. Repeat them lots of times in order to remember them.
– Learn by doing things. Learn to speak by speaking, failing, succeeding and moving on. You have to be active. Use your English. If you don’t use it, you lose it. You’ve got to be in it to win it!
– Be positive!

Listen to the conversation to find out more.

Links
Would you like to play Yacine’s computer game? Click here to visit the game on his website.

Will you be in Edinburgh during the Fringe? You should check out Yacine’s show. Click here for information on Yacine’s Edinburgh show.

Transcript to #182. Learning English with Yacine Belhousse
The introduction to this episode is transcribed below. If you would like to write some more minutes of transcript, click here to visit the google document for this episode.

Introduction
Here is my introduction to this episode of the podcast.

“Normally I have native speakers on this podcast; British people, Americans, Australians and stuff like that. And yet, most of the people who listen to this are non-natives learning the language. I rarely have learners of English giving their voice, which is a pity because everyone has a story to tell and interesting things to share. …

So, in today’s episode I am speaking to a friend of mine called Yacine. He’s not a native speaker. In fact, until quite recently he didn’t speak English at all. By his own admission, his English is not perfect. Sometimes he can’t find the right words, he has some trouble choosing the correct verb forms or pronouncing words naturally. These are all the normal problems faced by people learning English. However, I believe Yacine is quite special and that’s why I’ve brought him onto the podcast, despite not being a native or near-native speaker of English.

But why Luke? Why are you featuring a learner of English in one of your interviews? Well, there are lots of reasons:
– I think Yacine has a really good attitude towards learning, and I want to explore that so we can pick up some good things about language learning.
– Yacine is a professional stand-up comedian in his native language but he is also now performing shows in English. In fact, this year he is doing a regular one hour show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, which is perhaps the biggest comedy festival in the world, and he regularly performs comedy with the great & legendary Eddie Izzard, who is considered by many to be one of the greatest stand-ups of his generation. Eddie Izzard is not just an inspiration to stand up comedians, he is also an inspiration to language learners all over the world, and we’ll find out more about that later. Yacine is very influenced by Eddie Izzard, and he often supports Eddie when he does shows in France.

Learning a language is a challenging thing for anyone. You know when you speak you feel shy and embarrassed sometimes because you don’t want to be judged (just like me when I go to the boulangerie). These are normal fears. But, can you imagine going on-stage in front of lots of people, Scottish, English, perhaps a bit drunk because the show is on at 9.30PM, and delivering a full one hour stand-up performance in a language you’re trying to learn?
– It must be very challenging.
– You’d need a lot of self-confidence and self-belief.
– You need to focus very carefully on how to communicate your message.
– You need to be able to deal with any possible breakdown of communication.
– You need to stop worrying about errors, and if you make errors learn from them but don’t let them make you lose confidence.
I want to know how Yacine faces these challenges, but also, for me these are the challenges faced by any learner of English, but they are multiplied by the fact that Yacine is also doing this on-stage while having to make people laugh. It’s impressive and I want to know more.

So, this is what I want to investigate in this episode:
– How he’s learning English.
– Doing comedy in French vs English.
– French audiences vs UK audiences – are they different?
– Is humour universal?
– How is good communication an essential part of comedy? How do you make a successful joke? It’s about successfully communicating an idea.

Footnote: Yacine has only been learning for a few years. He hasn’t attended any courses or lessons. He’s self-taught. My professional opinion is that he’s doing really well. His English is better than it was a year ago, and his English is certainly much better than my French!

Yacine might make errors during the episode, and that’s fine. I’ll help him or even give him corrections (“yes please” – he says). This episode is not a judgement of his English, and it’s not his comedy performance either – that happens in Edinburgh. What this is, is an investigation into his English learning experiences and the relationship between language, communication, comedy and language learning!

Click here to transcribe more of this episode using a google document.

Thanks for listening, and have a good day/evening/night!

Luke

yacine PODPIC

My interview on the All Ears English Podcast

Hi everyone,

Today I am featured as a guest on the All Ears English podcast. In the episode you can hear me talking about comedy, humour and telling jokes in English. Click the picture to listen to the episode on the All Ears English website or use this embedded player.

https://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/pdst.fm/e/chrt.fm/track/CB27B5/traffic.megaphone.fm/ALLE5073533650.mp3?updated=1648593059

Luke Episode 122-2

You might already know All Ears English. It’s a podcast produced by two American girls called Gabby & Lindsay. They’re both English teachers with lots of experience who also do a podcast for learners of English.

Recently I got a tweet from Lindsay asking if I would like to be interviewed for one of their episodes, and I was glad to accept. It’s fun to be featured on someone else’s podcast for a change. Also, it’s good to establish contact with other podcasters. It was pretty exciting to talk to the girls on Skype and find out how we have a lot of things in common even though we are from completely different countries. Because I am a comedian (as well as a teacher) they were interested in hearing my perspective on differences between British & American humour, and some of my tips on telling jokes in English. Of course, there’s a lot to say on that topic so it is something I plan to revisit fully on LEP.

Here’s a summary of my tips on how to tell jokes in English. As I said, I plan to revisit this subject fully on LEP as there is so much to say!

Luke’s advice on how to tell jokes in English:

  • Be careful about telling jokes in social situations
  • Know when it’s appropriate to tell a joke. Sometimes there might be an informal joke-telling situation with your friends. That’s a great time to try your joke.
  • Be careful about the subject of the joke. Don’t make jokes about race, age, weight, gender or sexual orientation (especially in the United States)
  • Try to tell a spontaneous joke rather than a preplanned joke. The joke is more of an attitude than a specific joke. Instead, develop an attitude that is funny and lighthearted.
  • Make sure that you know the joke well when you are telling the joke so that you don’t forget the punchline.
  • Keep it short and sweet.
  • It should sound natural.
  • Don’t laugh too much at your own joke.
    • Be prepared if your joke doesn’t work, but don’t worry about it too much.

Look out for more episodes on humour in social situations in the future!