Hello and welcome back to the podcast. In this episode I’m talking to my friend Alex Love. We started this conversation in the previous episode and here is part 2. In this conversation Alex is in Edinburgh in Scotland and I’m in Warwick in England. In the previous episode we talked about pub quizzes and how they’re a common part of pub culture in the UK, so in this episode I thought we would play a kind of pub quiz with each other. The only problem is that neither of us are in a pub, but that doesn’t matter – this is a podcast and you can use your imagination.
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The rules of the game are pretty simple. Alex and I have prepared 5 questions each and we take it in turns to ask each other the questions. A correct answer gains one point, an incorrect answer gains nothing. All my questions are related to the English language, and all Alex’s questions are random trick questions and much more difficult than my ones. I’m not hinting at who wins the quiz there. No, not at all. You’ll have to listen to the whole thing to find out who wins, but I should point out that Alex’s questions are not proper questions and they’re designed to make me fail, a bit like my Dad’s questions in our recent game show. But I’m not making excuses or giving away the result of the quiz. No, of course not.
As you listen I think you should try to answer the questions too. You might need to pause the recording in order to give yourself a bit of time. Alex and I both explain our thought processes while answering the questions, and you could do that too. Try pausing the recording when you hear the question and then talking out loud while you think about the answer. Then continue listening and you’ll hear Alex and me doing the same thing – talking about our thought process before giving our answer. You can compare the way you talked about your thoughts and the way we did it. That can be a good way of comparing the language you and we are using.
Either that, or just sit back, brew up a cup of tea, or continue travelling on the bus like a normal person, and just listen to the magic of another episode of this podcast, recorded, produced, edited and published by the very modest me.
Right, without any further ado, let’s start the LEP Pub Quiz.
Questions (Listen to the episode to get the answers)
Where was the lawn-mower invented? (which town)
What is the most common noun in the English language?
Which creature has the largest eyes in the world?
What is the word for when two words come together to create a new word? e.g. ‘spork’
Which mammal can go longest without water?
What is the shortest possible sentence in the English language.
How long was the 100 years war?
What is the only planet in the solar system not named after a god?
Translate this from German into English – Ich habe keine Ahnung
Name the only two words in the English language that end in the suffix -gry.
Hello listeners, this episode features another chat with Alex Love who was on the podcast recently in episodes 366 and 367. I decided I’d get Alex back on the podcast for several reasons. The first reason is because he is now in Edinburgh at the Festival and his show seems to be doing very well. In fact, so far every performance has been completely sold out and he’s making a nice profit. I’m happy to hear that and I thought we could get a little Edinburgh report and actually have a conversation without it being derailed by a poor internet connections and other distractions, and that’s what we’ve managed to do. The second reason I brought him on is to do our own LEP Pub Quiz in which we ask each other questions, and that’s what you’ll hear in part 2.
[DOWNLOAD]
I have divided this conversation into two parts again, to make it more manageable for you. In part one we talk about Alex’s show, some details about the culture of pub quizzes in the UK and we go off on several quite instructive tangents about stag and hen parties, male strippers, The Smurfs and the anatomy of giant squid, which are large sea creatures with tentacles. That sounds quite random but it’s not really. It’s actually perfectly logical and it will all become clear as you listen to the conversation, and I think there’s quite a lot to learn about British culture in this episode as you’ll see. There’s also quite a lot of vocabulary to watch out for and I will go through that in a moment.
Then in part 2 you’ll hear Alex and I playing our own pub quiz in which we ask each other various questions in order to test our general knowledge.
I expect that by the time you listen to this episode Alex’s Edinburgh show will probably be over and all his shows seem to be sold out anyway, but what the hell – I’ll mention the details of it anyway. It’s called “How to Win a Pub Quiz” and it takes place at 12 o’clock lunchtime at The Stand in rooms 5 & 6 until 14 August. Details and bookings https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/alex-love-how-to-win-a-pub-quiz
Vocab from Part 1 – Watch out for these words and expressions
I’ve made another list of words and phrases from this episode. This is language that you might not know and which you might want to learn. I’m not defining and explaining this vocabulary here, I’m just encouraging you to notice it, and hopefully making it a bit easier for you to notice it. Being mindful of language while you’re listening to this podcast is important. If you’re switched on and attentive, taking mental note of different features of English as you move through these episodes, you’re in a much better position to retain words and phrases and add them to your own active vocabulary. Also, if you’re into studying while you listen you will find all these phrases written on the page for this episode and you can then look them up in a dictionary – and you can try Oxford, Cambridge, Macmillan or Collins dictionaries online. They’re all freely available, which is nice. Now I’m going to just read out each phrase and you can try to notice them as they come up naturally in our conversation.
old habits die hard – it just goes to show that old habits die hard
the love interest – she plays the love interest in the movie
a hen-do – there was a group of girls on a hen-do sitting on the front row
a stag-do – there was a group of lads on a stag-do in the audience
a mixed bag – how was the show? It was a bit of a mixed bag to be honest
self-deprecating – we make lots of self deprecating jokes
a bit hit and miss – the show was a bit hit and miss
inconsistent – it was quite an inconsistent show
bland – it was a bit bland and boring
“I died on my arse” – he absolutely died on his arse on stage at the show last night
to slag someone off – We used to slag off the entire audience in our show
to bad-mouth someone – we bad-mouth the audience at the beginning of the show
it’s frowned upon – being brutal with a hen-do is frowned upon, you’re not supposed to do it, whereas it’s ok to insult a stag-do
a sash – there was a girl on the front row wearing a sash
the first album I ever bought – “Smurfs Go Pop” was the first album I ever bought
anthropomorphic – Smurfs are quite anthropomorphic
the gestation period – humans have a 9 month gestation period
to beat around the bush – don’t beat around the bush, just say it straight
to cast aspersions – I don’t mean to cast aspersions on Smurfette
to hear something
to hear about something
a squid / a giant squid
tentacles – they have ten tentacles, whereas Octopuses have 8 limbs
10 inches in diameter – their eyes are 10 inches in diameter
a beak = what birds have at the end of their faces – like the mouth of a bird, or a squid
your eyes are too big for your stomach
dismal = terrible
to come in third place – Paul is coming in a dismal 3rd place
So, that’s it for the vocabulary and this introduction, let’s now join the conversation I had with Alex Love yesterday afternoon, watch out for the vocabulary and see what you can learn about hen dos, stag dos, male and female strippers, the Smurfs and giant squid. There’s a bit of swearing – so you have been warned.
That’s it for part 1. Did you notice all the vocabulary I listed at the beginning?
In part 2 we do a pub quiz in which we ask each other various questions, including some questions about the English language. So, if you want to know what our questions are, and who wins, check out part 2 now!
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This episode of the podcast is all about telling anecdotes in English. Anecdotes are little stories about our experiences that we share while socialising. It’s important to have a few anecdotes of your own and to know how to tell them properly. In this episode I’m going to give you some advice for how to tell an anecdote and then you’re going to listen to some true anecdotes told by members of my family that I recorded yesterday evening during dinner.
This episode is sponsored by italki. Speaking practice is very important in developing natural, fluent English and this is now really easy to achieve because with italki you can find plenty of native speakers and teachers to talk to, you can set your own schedule and you don’t even need to leave the house – you can do all of it from your own home. If you want to practise telling your anecdotes, do it in conversation on italki. They have lots of friendly and experienced teachers who are ready to help you to learn English your way. Go to http://www.teacherluke.co.uk/talk to get started and to get a voucher worth 100ITC when you get some lessons. OK, let’s get started!
I’m at my parents’ house for a few days. My brother and I are just taking a couple of days off and spending some time here doing the usual things like enjoying the fresh air, talking to my parents and taking advantage of our mum’s cooking.
Yesterday evening we were eating dessert at the end of dinner and we started talking about anecdotes. I think I asked everyone, “Do you have any anecdotes?” I asked them to think of an anecdote they’d told before. We were about to start when I realised that it might be a good idea to record the talking, so I quickly got my audio recorder and then recorded them telling those anecdotes. Each one is about 5 minutes long.
Before we just listen to their little stories, let’s consider anecdotes and how important they are in English.
From the archives: Another episode about telling anecdotes (episode 44) https://teacherluke.co.uk/2011/10/11/telling-anecdotes/
The Collins Online Dictionary defines an anecdote as a short, usually amusing account of an incident, especially a personal or biographical one.
So, essentially anecdotes are little true stories about ourselves. We are usually the protagonists in our anecdotes, and they’re usually told in informal social situations. Sometimes there are moments in our social interactions when we just start sharing little stories about things that have happened to us in our lives. This might happen at a dinner, or when you’re generally spending some extended time with other people. Anecdotes are a really common part of the way we socialise in English. They allow us to entertain the people around us, while letting them know a bit more about us.
Both of those things are vital in my opinion. If you’re trying to build a relationship with people it’s important to both entertain them and also share some personal information with them. Entertaining the people around you is important because it just makes them feel good. If you can make people feel good, they’re much more likely to trust you, to give something to you in return and also, it’s just good to entertain people around you. It’s just fun and enjoyable to hear about people’s experiences. Also, giving away some personal information is a good way of encouraging other people to do the same thing. That’s how you build trust. For building a relationship you can do two things: ask questions and be prepared to give away details about yourself. Anecdotes help you achieve the second one in a fun way.
So, how do you tell an anecdote in English?
Tips for Telling Anecdotes
Find the right moment. Usually they take place in informal anecdote sharing sessions. Don’t just jam your story into a conversation. It should add something to the subject of the conversation. E.g. you might be sharing travelling stories, or stories about weird people you’ve met, or university stories, or dangerous experiences. That’s when it’s appropriate to add your story too. Maybe you’re talking about a particular subject and your anecdote will add something to that conversation. E.g. you might be talking about the difficulty of finding accommodation in your town, and you could tell the story of the crazy landlord you used to have. Perhaps someone has just told a story, and you’ve got one that relates to it too. All of those are good moments to introduce your anecdote. Only tell your story if it relates to the conversation you’re already having.
Keep it short! Don’t get stuck in the details too much. Focus on the impact of the story. What emotion are you attempting to elicit in people? What is the feeling you’re trying to get across? Is it frustration, fear, danger, humour? Focus on communicating a feeling and try not to let the details get in the way. You need to communicate that feeling by explaining the right events. The best anecdotes allow the listeners to discover the same feelings as you did when you felt them, so describe the events and aspects of the situation that made you feel that way. Don’t get caught up in the details. Keep it pretty short and simple. Say the word “anyway” when you get stuck in the details and want to move on to the main stuff.
Use the right narrative tenses. Usually we tell anecdotes in the past. That means you’ll be using past simple, past continuous and past perfect. Here’s a really quick and simple explanation of how you use those tenses. Past simple – this is the tense you use to explain the main actions in the principle part of the story. E.g. I saw a spaceship, I stopped my car, the spaceship flew above me, all the objects in my car started floating, I saw a bright flash of light, then I woke up lying down in the forest with a pain in my backside.” Past simple is usually used for short actions that happen one after the other. Past continuous – we use this to explain the situation at the time the main events happened. It’s for context. It sets the scene. E.g. “I was driving in my car through the countryside late one night when I saw something strange”. Also, it’s for moment by moment action, and it’s when two things happen at the same time. Past continuous is for the longer action of the two. The action starts, is interrupted by a shorter past simple action, and then may or may not continue. E.g. “I was trying to remember where I was when these guys in black suits turned up and started asking me questions.” Past perfect – this is for giving back story. Use past perfect to talk about events that happened before the main events of the story. E.g. I told the guys that I’d just been camping in the forest and that I’d got up in the night to go to the toilet and I’d lost my tent, and that’s why I was sleeping outside like that. I told them I hadn’t seen any aliens or anything like that.” Past perfect is a difficult one to notice when listening. The “had” is often contracted and can be impossible to hear. It’s possible to identify past perfect because of the use of past participles, e.g. “I’d seen it before” and “I saw it before” but when regular verbs are used it can be almost invisible. Compare “I’d finished” and “I finished”. They sound very similar. Sometimes ‘had’ is not completely contracted but pronounced using a weak form, like ‘/həd/’ e.g. “He had been there before”. It might also be part of a continuous form, like “He had been talking to someone else”.
So, there are the narrative tenses – past simple, past continuous, past perfect. Past simple is the most common one – you could probably just tell the story with that one on its own, but adding the other two will give your stories more depth and range. Think about how you use these three tenses when describing events in the past.
Tell us how you felt. That’s pretty simple. Just give us some emotional content.
Use direct speech. Don’t worry about using reported speech, just use direct quotes. E.g. “He said “What are you doing here?” and I said “I’m just camping!” and they both said “Where’s your tent?” and I said “It got stolen in the night, or I lost it, I can’t remember”. I don’t think they believed me but they told me to be careful and to go home.
Introduce your story with a quick sentence, like “I got abducted by aliens once” or “I saw a weird thing once” or “That sounds like something that happened to me once”. That’s generally a sign that you’ve got a little story to tell. However, if people aren’t really listening, don’t worry about it, this might not be the moment for your story.
When someone has just told a little story, ask a few questions or respond to it in some way. Show some appreciation of the anecdote – like, “Oh my god I can’t believe that!” or “Wow, I can’t believe that you got abducted by aliens!”
Try to make it quite entertaining! If the story doesn’t have much entertainment value, keep it extra short. You can exaggerate the story a bit, but don’t lie, that’s just deceptive. For example, don’t just make up a clearly fictional story about being abducted by aliens. Obviously, it should be very much ‘based on a true story’. Repeating anecdotes a few times is quite common. In fact, people carry anecdotes with them through their lives and repeat them again and again. You probably have a few experiences that you’ve described a few times – they’re your anecdotes. Try converting them into English, and it’s ok to practise those anecdotes a few times because you’re learning the language. Think about experiences you’ve had in your life – how would you describe them fairly quickly in conversation, focusing on the main events and how they made you feel at the time?
Show us when the story is finished. Typically we might say “That’s what happened.” or “And that’s it” or even “That’s my alien abduction story.” It’s nice if your anecdote can end with a funny line or a punchline, but that’s difficult. It might also be good to say what you learned from your experience.
Now, let’s hear my family’s anecdotes shall we? (yes)
By coincidence, all these anecdotes relate to meeting strange people and most of them involve some element of danger (in the case of the boys’ stories) or embarrassment in my Mum’s story.
Imagine you’re at the dinner table with my Mum, Dad and brother. As you listen, think about the things I’ve just mentioned, and try to notice them. You could listen to this episode a few times. Try to notice different things I mentioned about telling anecdotes. Which anecdote do you think is the best? Why is it a good one?
Here are some key points to watch out for.
Narrative tenses used – in particular, can you hear when past perfect is used? It’s only used in 3 out of the 4 stories. Watch out for past continuous to set the scene. Is that one used in every story?
When someone says “anyway” in order to avoid getting caught in the details
What is the main feeling that the person is trying to communicate? Is it danger, embarrassment, weirdness?
How does the anecdote end?
Any new vocabulary?
I’ll let you listen to the anecdotes, and then I’ll deal with some vocabulary and make any other points afterwards.
Mum’s Anecdote – Meeting the King of Tonga
(Tonga is a Polynesian kingdom of more than 170 islands, many uninhabited)
*some past perfect is used to explain what the king had been doing before mum arrived
It’s going to fall very flat = it’s going to fail to have the intended effect. E.g. if a joke falls flat, it doesn’t make anyone laugh. If a story falls flat, it is not impressive or amusing.
It’s been built up too much = We say this when people’s expectations have been raised. To ‘build something up’ means to raise people’s expectations of something. You’d say this before telling a joke if you feel like everyone’s expectations have been raised. E.g. “What’s this Russian joke? I’ve heard you talking about it a lot, so it must be amazing.” “Well, it’s been built up too much now, it’s just going to fall flat.” or “Have you seen the new Spielberg film Bridge of Spies, oh my god it is amazing!” “Don’t build it up too much!”
I was nothing to do with it = if you have nothing to do with something it means you are not involved or connected to anything at all. E.g. “Mr Thompson, I want to talk to you about the bank robbery that occurred in the town centre last year.” “Bank robbery? I had nothing to do with it officer, I promise!” or simply “There was a royal visit happening, but I had nothing to do with it. I was just there to pick up my husband.”
I was just a hanger-on = a hanger-on is someone who just hangs on. This is someone who is nothing to do with what’s happening but they just hang around. E.g. musicians often have hangers on. These are people that hang around the band even though they’re not contributing to the show at all. They’re just hanging on because it’s cool or fun to be with the band.
I was skulking in the corner = to skulk means to kind of hide or keep out of sight, often in a slightly cowardly way.
He beckoned to me = to beckon to someone is to wave someone over to you with your hand. It’s to do a motion with your hand which encourages someone to come to talk to you.
He was eyeing her up = this means to look at someone because you fancy them – to look at someone with sexual interest. E.g. the king of Tonga was eyeing up my Mum all evening.
James’ Anecdote – Hastings Story
a skate park = a place designed for skateboarding
the ramp’s in the church = a ramp is a thing for skateboarding on. It has sloped sides so skaters can go up and down on it
a hog on a spit = a hog is a pig, and a spit is a stick that goes through the pig, suspending it above a fire
we had too good a time = we had a good time – but if you want to add ‘too’ you need to say “we had too good a time” not “we had a too good time” – this works with the structure in general. “It was too big a pizza for me to eat” or “It was too long a journey to make at that time of night”
I was too drunk – not in a lairy way = to be lairy means to be aggressive and anti-social. It happens when some people get drunk. They get lairy.
I’m bigger than him, I can take him = to ‘take’ someone means beat them in a fight
We crashed out = to crash out means to fall asleep, usually quickly and often in a place where you don’t usually sleep.
I’ve painted everything in hammerite http://www.hammerite.co.uk/ = hammerite is a kind of metallic paint
He was coming round = to come round here means to wake up, or come back to consciousness
I didn’t get interfered with = to interfere with someone could mean to touch them in a sexual manner
*just past simple
Dad’s Anecdote – Hitchhiking in Italy
*all the narrative tenses used
We got a few good lifts = a lift is when someone takes you somewhere in a car. E.g. “Could you give me a lift to the station?”
This car pulled up = this is when a car stops by the side of the road (also – pull over)
He was a slightly dodgy character = dodgy means untrustworthy or suspicious
The car broke down = stopped working
They turned on him and said “What are you doing?” = to turn on someone (not turn someone on) means to suddenly start criticising or attacking someone. In this case, there were curious neighbours listening to the argument and after a while they turned on the guy – they decided that he was wrong and they started criticising him
I managed to jump in and grab the keys from the ignition = to manage to do something (this is an important verb structure) – also ‘the ignition’ is the part where you put the keys in order to start the car, e.g. “You left the keys in the ignition”
I dangled the keys over a grating / a drain = to dangle something over something is to hold something in the air so that it swings from side to side slightly. E.g. We sat on the edge of the bride with our legs dangling in the air.
Luke’s Anecdote – Liverpool Story
*Includes quite a long passage with past perfect when I described what had happened to the man before he arrived at our front door.
There was some sort of commotion going on in the hallway = a commotion means a period of noise, confusion or excitement
He ran through all the alleyways = alleyways are passages between or behind houses
On the podcast today I am in conversation with Alex Love, who you might remember from some previous episodes of this podcast. Alex is a friend of mine who I first met while doing stand-up comedy in London 7 years ago. He has featured in podcast episodes before, like the Brighton Fringe Festival podcasts (ep 104, 105 & 106), 109. The Drunk Episode and 226. On a Boat. All those episodes also featured our friends Paul Langton and Moz – both of whom have been guests on the podcast recently. [DOWNLOAD]
Recent Episodes with Moz and Paul Langton:
Moz’s episode: https://teacherluke.co.uk/2016/03/23/337-murder-mile-walks-stories-of-londons-most-infamous-shocking-murders-some-explicit-content-swearing/
Paul’s episode: https://teacherluke.co.uk/2016/05/24/349-whos-the-best-superhero-with-paul-langton/
Alex Love regularly performs stand-up comedy gigs in London and in Manchester where he now lives. At this moment he’s preparing for the Edinburgh Festival where he will be performing a one-hour show which he has written himself, called “How to Win a Pub Quiz”. The show is a mix of stand-up comedy and pub quiz trivia and it has had some good reviews at previous festivals. If you’re in Edinburgh this August you can see Alex’s show at a venue called The Stand in rooms 5 & 6 (venue 319) at 12 o’clock midday from 4 to 14 August. Bookings: https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/alex-love-how-to-win-a-pub-quiz
As well as doing comedy Alex has also done a number of different jobs in his life, including doing a paper-round, working in a call centre, and writing journalistic pieces for The Guardian newspaper.
I invited Alex onto the podcast today mainly to talk about his Edinburgh show, but in fact, the conversation mainly involves Alex and me just wittering on about nothing in particular! That’s why I’ve called this episode “Talking about Nothing with Alex Love” because although we do talk about his show a little bit, I’ve found it quite hard to put my finger on exactly what it was that we talked about for the majority of this conversation. We just seemed to be talking about nothing and I actually think that’s a really great thing and a worthwhile thing for you to listen to.
Because, in my opinion, regularly listening to unplanned and slightly rambling conversations between friends, like in this episode, is genuinely good for your English, long-term. This is, after all, the way that we communicate with friends in the real world, isn’t it? Real conversations are not scripted or planned out in advance like the recordings you hear in published English learning course books, like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MVxesy1AFI 5.22. That’s an extract from a Headway course book published by Oxford University Press, which is a very good book and everything, but the audio conversations are a bit fake sounding because they’ve been written in advance and are being used to present certain bits of language. Of course, the vast majority of conversations we have with our friends in the real world are not planned in advance and usually involve responding to little moments that come up in the conversation, changing from one topic to another and simply rambling on about stuff in general. And we build relationships with people by rambling on about stuff in general, we have fun with each other by rambling on about stuff in general and we release stress by just rambling on about stuff in general, and this is why simply rambling on about stuff in general is actually rather a wonderful thing indeed.
So, I invite you, in this episode, to listen to us rambling on about stuff in general. Your job is to try to follow the meandering flow of the conversation, take note of certain phrases or aspects of language that you hear, and generally just let the English wash over you like some kind of refreshing language shower. An English language shower. A languashower if you like, or perhaps an Englashower.
One technical detail before we start: There are some moments when the Skype connection breaks up and Alex sounds a bit like an evil robot. That happened a few times and it actually really annoyed me during the recording because it was quite disruptive to our conversation. For some reason, whenever we started talking about something serious some connection problems occurred and Alex started sounding like an Aphex Twin remix or a drunk robot or something. You’ll hear it happening sometimes in the conversation and you’ll also hear that I got a bit annoyed by it later in the conversation and I said the phrase “This is doing my head in” which means “this is really annoying me and making me angry and frustrated.” To be honest, I have managed to fix the vast majority of the technical issues in the recording because I have done *a lot* of editing, so in fact you probably won’t notice any of these technical issues and all of this explaining that I’m doing here in the introduction is probably completely unnecessary, so I’m now going to stop doing it and just move on.
I hope to have Alex back on the podcast again soon for another episode in which we do a kind of podcast pub quiz of our own, which you can take part in. That would be good, wouldn’t it? Yes of course it would. Everyone likes a pub quiz. That’s another episode for another time, perhaps while Alex is in Edinburgh and has a better internet connection.
I should also mention that there’s a little bit of swearing in this conversation. So, “there’s a little bit of swearing in this episode.” There you go, you’ve been told, and I know that the vast majority of you are now thinking – “fine, that’s absolutely fine Luke. Not a problem. In fact, good – that’s good. We fucking love swearing Luke. IN fact, swearing is sharing.” Well, I don’t know what you’re talking about but I’m glad you’re happy. I encourage you not to swear too much though OK, even if you hear it on the podcast. Do what I say, don’t do what I do. OK.
Well, right then, without any further explaining, let’s now get started, and we’re going to jump straight into the conversation mid-flow right now so this is it, off we go, it’s time to get started so let’s get down to business right away without any further hesitation or messing around or time-wasting and so here it is then, let’s start, we’re all set, you’re set, I’m set, everything’s set and ready to roll so here we go, on your marks, get set, get ready, get steady, let’s get ready to rumble… OK GO.
*Episode Begins*
By the way, what’s a “Pub Quiz”? Well, it’s a quiz that happens in a pub. Typically, pub quizzes happen in the evenings in pubs all over the country where teams of people get together to answer questions which are read out by the quiz master. It’s just a game and a good excuse to get together, have a few drinks and test your general knowledge. The winning team is usually awarded some sort of prize – typically restaurant vouchers, bottles of wine or something like that. Pub quizzes are very popular in the UK. In fact, according to Wikipedia, “a 2009 study put the number of regular weekly pub quizzes in the UK at 22,445.”
Everyone loves a pub quiz, they’re very appealing. So, Alex’s Edinburgh show is quite a clever combination of a stand-up performance and a pub quiz in which the audience have to answer various funny questions read out by Alex.
Title: Alex Love – How to Win a Pub Quiz
Venue: The Stand 5 & 6 (Venue 319) Dates: Aug 4-14 Time: 12:00 lunch time Length: 1 hour
Description from the Ed Fringe website: This highly interactive show is part stand-up, part actual pub quiz. Expand your trivia, compete against other teams, witness results. After playing to capacity crowds in 2015, this unique hour is back with more facts, prizes and niche-referenced nonsense. Reviews: ‘Alex Love is great fun’ (Scotsman). ‘It takes quite a show to create such a sense of engagement that one music question can become a full-blown sing-along, but this is the spirit of How to Win a Pub Quiz.’ (BroadwayBaby.com). ‘Such a quick brain’ (We Are Funny Project). Bookings: https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/alex-love-how-to-win-a-pub-quiz
Alex on Twitter: @thisalexlove https://twitter.com/thisalexlove
Follow me on Twitter @englishpodcast https://twitter.com/englishpodcast
Check out italki and get 100ITC at www.teacherluke.co.uk/talk
Download a free audiobook from Audible at www.audibletrial.com/teacherluke
Now, go and make a jet-pack and your dreams of flying will come true! Yes you can!
;)
Luke
End of Part 1 – ‘Outro’ – Transcript
Hello everyone – I’m interrupting the conversation here because I’ve decided to divide this episode into two parts and I thought that this dramatic moment where Alex has moved into the bathroom to find a better mobile internet signal is a suitable moment to do that. So this is the end of part 1. Part 2 should be ready for you to listen to right away – so go ahead and get stuck into it now.
OK then, so that’s it for part 1. Don’t forget to join the mailing list at teacherluke.co.uk and then you’ll get an email whenever I upload a new episode and the email will direct you straight to the page for that episode where you will find notes, transcriptions, links, videos and other details that relate to the episode.
Thanks for listening, and I’ll talk to you again in part 2.
In this episode I’m talking to Olly Richards the polyglot from England. Our conversation covers points about what accent you should learn to speak with, the importance of developing clear pronunciation and effective communication in English, using Periscope to listen to native English speakers and the physical side of learning a language. See below for a transcript to the introduction, more information and links to Olly’s work.
Olly Richards, the polyglot from England, is on the podcast again today. This is the second time I’ve spoken to him on this podcast. The first time was back in February I believe. [A bit about how to say “February”] That’s episode 332. If you haven’t heard that one, I recommend that you go into the archives, find it (or click here) and listen to it because it’ll give you some good context for this one and also it’s just really useful for English learning because it contains loads of good advice and lots of motivation.
Olly is a great guest for this podcast because he basically spends his time learning languages and helping other people to learn languages too. Olly has managed to learn lots of languages including French, Spanish, Portuguese, Japanese, Arabic and Cantonese and he learned them all in adulthood, not as a child. That’s quite an achievement and he’s managed to do it using some pretty clever strategies, techniques and routines which we can all apply to our language learning too.
Now, I’ve arranged to speak to Olly over Skype in just a few minutes so I’m just gearing myself up for the conversation now. I’m getting my Skype settings correct. Last week I saw him briefly on Periscope talking about a recent work-related trip to LA and how the trip had affected his language learning routine and it sounded very interesting so I sent him a message saying “Hi Olly, I saw you on Periscope the other day – Do you fancy coming on the podcast soon for a catch up?” and he quickly replied by saying “I’d LOVE to come back on the podcast. I could do podcasts all day long, and especially yours since it’s so much fun.” So that’s that. It’s all been set up.
We haven’t done much preparation for this beyond just setting a time for the conversation. The idea is that we’re going to just catch up on his recent news, see where the conversation takes us and ultimately share more conclusions and tips about language learning.
Oh, there’s just one last thing. Do you remember in our last conversation that Olly asked me to make a commitment about my French learning? I promised that I would practice for 10 minutes a day. Also, I seem to remember a number of you made commitments about your learning in the comments section and I wonder if you’ve kept up with them. Well, honestly – I haven’t been the greatest student because I haven’t kept my promise. Yeah, I know, I know. To be fair, I did go out and buy some self study materials which I chose very carefully and I started with the best of intentions, but I only did a few pages and then got out of the habit of doing it. So, I feel a bit bad about that and I wonder if he’s going to bring it up. I think he probably will, but let’s see. Now, my French has definitely improved recently but the rate of improvement is just not good enough and I need to pull my socks up and turn over a new leaf and adding some daily practice into my routine would definitely help. Anyway, let’s see if he brings it up.
Now though, it’s time to talk to Olly Richards the polyglot from England. Here we go.
*Conversation Starts*
We talk about…
His trip to the USA
How accents change when people travel to different places (e.g. when Brits go to the USA their accents ‘accommodate’ to the local accents a bit, and vice versa)
The relationship between accents and our identity
Accent reduction vs learning clear pronunciation
The physical side of learning a language. Is it normal to experience any physical pain when practising your speaking
The importance of engaging in conversations in English to improve your effectiveness in communication – italki is a good way to do this
Click here to check out italki – www.teacherluke.co.uk/talk
Links
Download the Periscope App here https://www.periscope.tv
aka “The Accordion Legs Episode” Listen to Amber, Paul, James Simpson and me as we play a light-hearted speaking game called “Would you rather…?” and hear about having accordions for legs, being stuck in a lift with a pair of wet dogs and living on a desert island with a mermaid (or merman). You’ll also hear the results of the interactive lying game from episode 343. There are notes and some transcriptions below. Share your comments on the page for this episode. How would you answer these ‘would you rather’ questions?
[DOWNLOAD] Groovy background music c/o Jim Thompson & www.bensound.com
Introduction Transcript
Hello and welcome back to the podcast. This one is called “Would you rather…?” and first I’d like to make a couple of disclaimers before you listen to this. What’s a disclaimer? It’s a statement that denies responsibility for something. So, right at the start of this episode I’m putting my hands up and saying – “Look, I’m just telling you there are some possibly stupid or offensive moments in this episode and now that I’ve told you, I’m not responsible for knee-jerk reactions that you might have. You’ve been told! And there it is”. So, by way of a disclaimer, here are a couple of things which I think are important to say to you before I play you this episode, so listen up!
Disclaimer #1
This episode contains quite a lot of silly nonsense – even more silly nonsense than usual. You’ll hear us talk about some ridiculous, childish and slightly disgusting things in this one. But it’s all done in the name of fun, and what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with fun? Are you saying there’s something wrong with fun? No, of course you’re not saying that, you wouldn’t say that would you? No you wouldn’t, because there is nothing wrong with fun. Harmless fun. In fact I would argue that sometimes it’s important to have fun talking complete nonsense with your mates, don’t you think? Don’t you ever talk about silly idiotic rubbish with your friends? I bet you do. It’s one of the best things in the world isn’t it? Talking stupid rubbish with your friends? Well, that’s what we’re doing in this one, and I invite you to join us and have fun with us.
If you’re a long-term listener to this podcast then you’ll know that I sometimes enjoy talking about silly non-sensical things on the podcast. But if you are new to this podcast then you should know that it’s not all just serious stuff about politics and sometimes it’s a bit silly here at podcast HQ. Alright – so that’s disclaimer 1 – you’ve been told.
Disclaimer #2: swearing
There is a lot of swearing in this episode. A lot of the classic rude words feature in this conversation. The f-bomb, the s-word and a few others. So, be warned, there’s tons of swearing in this episode. They’re not bleeped out because I know you actually would rather listen to just natural conversations in English, even when they include some swear words – in fact most of you actually want to hear the swear words. How do I know that? Because I did a poll a couple of months ago on my website. Here are the results.
Swearing Poll – Results
The question: How do you feel about swearing on the podcast?
219 Votes
Bleep the swear words . 0.5% / 1
Don’t bleep swear words. 22.8% / 50
Swearing is OK. I want to know how people really speak. 36.1% / 79
Swearing is OK. Just don’t do it ALL the time. 13.7% / 30
No swear words at all, please. (Not even bleeped ones) 0.5% / 1
You can do what you want, Luke. 26.0% / 57
So, 99% of the people who took that poll seem to be absolutely fine with swearing. There’s just one person who’s not a fan.
So, to that one person – I am sorry in advance. But, you know – here’s my disclaimer. For the rest of you – well, let’s just carry on shall we? You want real British English? Here it is.
Disclaimer #3 – The Russian Joke (sigh)
You will hear us talk about the Russian joke again, which I’m fed up with frankly. Why am I fed up with the Russian joke? Because people keep asking me to explain it, and every time I explain it someone else tells me they don’t understand it and need it to be explained again. So I need to put this to bed now. I want to say just this – the joke has nothing to do with Russian people. It’s just based on the words “Russian” (the nationality) and “rushing” (moving fast to avoid being late) They sound similar. That’s it. No deeper meaning than that. We keep laughing about this because it’s just a recurring thing – I told this joke during a stand up show and nobody in the audience laughed and I explained it – but they still didn’t laugh or understand it. So I had to explain it again. Now, every time this joke is mentioned I have to explain it again and more people don’t understand it. It’s just a running joke and Amber & Paul keep laughing about it because it’s just an embarrassing story of me telling a bad joke on stage and nobody understanding it. It’s a comedy of errors and after this episode I hope it will never be mentioned ever again.
RIGHT! That’s it. No more disclaimers!
Let me now move on to the introduction to this episode.
First you’re going to hear the results of the Interactive Lying Game. Feel the excitement!
Then we play a speaking game called “Would you rather…?” That’s a very simple game which people play with their friends just for fun. Essentially it’s about coming up with quite ridiculous and specific questions with two difficult options – “would you rather do ‘this’ or ‘this’?” – and then you ask your friends and you end up having very in-depth conversations about the answers. I’m sure you have a similar game in your first language.
There’s no winner or loser for this game, which is good news for Paul. The aim of the game is just to have some crazy discussions and enjoy the company of friends, and I invite you to join us while we play it.
I’m now going to read out all the “would you rather” questions that you’re going to hear in this episode. The reason I’m doing that is so that you have a chance to think about them and understand them before the conversation begins. That’s going to help your understanding and enjoyment of this fairly fast-moving conversation. All these questions are written on the page for this episode so you can check them out if you want to check your understanding or spelling of any words.
So, here are the questions. And remember – I’ve already warned you that some of them are pretty silly in tone, but that’s the point of the game really.
“Would you rather…?” Questions In This Episode
Would you rather: – have a proper relationship with far-right French politician Marine LePen (She’s your wife, you sleep together etc)? – or live in France with Marine Le Pen as President (but she’s not your girlfriend)? (Marine Le Pen is a right-wing French politician – she’s a bit like the French Donald Trump – not exactly, but they are both right-wing, they’re both anti-immigration, she’s quite extreme – that kind of thing)
Would you rather be stuck in a lift with… – 2 wet dogs? – 2 fat men who have bad breath? (UK: lift, US: elevator)
Would you rather… – Have accordions for legs? – Or have a huge belly button which is 10 inches long and that sways to the beat of popular music?
Would you rather – wake up completely blind? – or wake up without being able to speak your first language (English in this case)?
Would you rather – be very very fat (clinically obese)? – or have Tourette’s syndrome? (that’s a mental disorder which means that you randomly shout out very rude words in public and you can’t control it)
Would you rather – be stuck on a desert island alone? – or be stuck on a desert island with someone you really don’t like?
Would you rather – eat chocolate-flavoured poo? – or poo-flavoured chocolate?
Would you rather – live one 1,000 year life? – or ten 100 year lives?
Would you rather – be a horrible offensive person in the real world for one day? – or be a horrible offensive troll on the internet for a month?
Would you rather – go way back in time to meet your ancestors? – go way into the future to meet your grandchildren?
Would you rather live on a desert island with a beautiful man or woman who… – is half fish from the belly button up (top half fish, bottom half human)? – or is half fish from the belly button down (bottom half fish, top half human – like a mermaid)?
Let’s play this classic, stupid game, called “Would you rather…?”
The rules are simple. You’re given 2 options, and you have to decide which one you would rather have, or do – and then you have to explain why. That’s it!
This game works best when you explore the options in detail and explain your thinking. Also please feel free to ask for clarification of the questions at any point.
What? Another new episode? Slow down Luke! We can’t keep up! OK I will slow down, I promise. I am going away on holiday tomorrow and I will be quiet for a couple of weeks so I just wanted to upload another podcast before I go. While I’m away you’ll have a chance to catch up with all these new episodes. This is #344 and it’s another rambling conversation with podPALS Amber & Paul, but this time we’re joined by a fourth member of the team. Could this be The Fantastic Four that LEPster Olga mentioned in a recent comment? Only you can decide… Topics of conversation include: jingles, voice overs, the Queen’s birthday, the monarchy, Princess Diana and more…
Groovy background music c/o http://www.bensound.com
Introduction
I’m not going to spend much time on an introduction to this episode (yeah, right) except to say that in this episode you’re going to hear another a fast conversation between 4 native speakers, recorded for you to listen to.
You’ll hear the pod-pals – that’s Amber, Paul & me (The Thrilling Three or the Tangential Trio) having our weekly chat on the terrace in the sunshine. But this time we are joined by a 4th member to our team in the form of Tom Morton, a friend of ours from the stand-up comedy scene here in Paris. You might remember that Tom has been mentioned briefly on this podcast before and that we’ve established that he looks a bit like Dave Grohl the drummer from Nirvana and Tim Curry the actor from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and… that’s it! That’s all you know at the moment!
Tom
So, just to fill you in a bit – Tom is a professional actor and voice-over artist. He’s done voice-overs for TV and radio advertisements for companies like Mini, L’Oreal, Sky TV, McVities biscuits and Nintendo Wii. He’s is half English and half French and speaks both English and French like a native. “What’s Tom’s accent?”, you might be wondering. Well you’ll find out for yourself in a bit when you listen to him, but in English he speaks with received pronunciation, which is essentially that neutral accent that we associate with the BBC and the universities – no particular regional inflections although he spent lots of time in West London when he was growing up. So, he speaks a bit like me basically, but he has his own unique sound of course, as you will discover in a moment. As ever I am keen to know what you think. What do you think of Tom’s voice? Leave your comments on the website.
Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode
First you’ll hear the three of us give Tom a sort of job interview as part of his initiation onto the podcast. After a couple of minutes though, the job interview goes downhill and is abandoned. We then just mess around, letting you get to know Tom a bit, doing improvised voice-overs on a few royalty-free Apple jingles, before the conversation goes off on a number of tangents (what a surprise). And those tangents cover these things:
the complexities of explaining puns and jokes in English
doing voiceovers on adverts for the ‘megaknife’ – a knife that is so sharp it can cut through a shoe
the Queen’s birthday
what British people think of the monarchy
the death of Princess Diana
public reactions to tragedies like when a famous person dies (this was recorded just a few hours before we all learned that another celebrity had died – the American musician Prince – just another legend who died this year after Lemmy, David Bowie, George Martin and a bunch of other people including British celebrities Terry Wogan, Paul Daniels, Ronnie Corbett and Victoria Wood – you might not know who they are but they were all much loved comedians and entertainers who died this year) So – public reactions to the death of famous people
when old people say racist things, like Prince Philip or your grandparents
Amber’s son Hugo has learning a new word
getting a letter from the Queen on your 100th birthday
the drama of Paul and Luke getting attacked by flying insects (ladybirds)
Amber’s story about a woman she saw whose scarf had slipped between her bum cheeks making it look like she had a tail
the moment one of my neighbours burps very loudly in the background from another apartment (I’m pretty sure you can’t hear it)
then finally, which members of The Fantastic Four we would be – I’m Mr Fantastic (because I’m the leader I suppose), Amber is the invisible woman (because since she had a baby she’s become invisible to men), Paul is The Human Torch (because he’s on fire sitting in the sun, and because he’s so hot right now in the world of comedy), and Tom is The Thing (neither French nor English, just an amorphous blob).
It’s a real mix of both serious and light-hearted topics, and yes, I am aware that the conversation moves pretty fast and we talk over each other quite a lot – that’s just what happens when a bunch of friends get together like this. It might be a difficult episode to follow – or maybe not – maybe you’ll have absolutely no problem keeping up with this, but in any case I hope you just enjoy listening to another completely spontaneous conversation between a group of Brits who are getting a bit too much sun on their heads.
You should know that there’s some swearing in this episode – there you go, you’ve been warned.
Also, we’re not talking about the results of the interactive lying game from episode 343 yet – that’s going to come in an another episode soon.
So that’s enough introduction. I will now just let you listen to another outdoor episode of LEP featuring the The Talkative Trio with Tom Morton.
LEP JINGLE MASHUP 1
*Conversation begins*
LEP JINGLE MASHUP 2
That’s it! Check out the page for the episode. There are a few notes and a brief summary of some of the main points in that conversation, so if you didn’t understand something you can just google it or wikipedia it!
Just a reminder about italki before I say anything else. With italki you can have your own rambling conversations with native English speakers if you like, or if you prefer you can have properly structured English lessons too, and all from the convenience of your own internet connection at home, or anywhere else really. They have loads of qualified teachers to choose from, and when you buy some lessons italki will give you a voucher worth 100ITC which is a nice discount on future English lessons. To get that offer and to check out italki go to teacherluke.co.uk/talk or click an italki logo on my website.
I’m going to be on holiday for about a week and then I’ll be very busy marking student exam papers so I don’t know when I’ll be able to upload a new episode. But I’m sure it won’t be that long, and anyway I’ve given you so many new episodes lately you could probably do with a little break too – or maybe not! Maybe you’re desperate for more. Don’t forget to check out my other podcast – A Phrasal Verb a Day. There are now over 130 episodes of that. The episodes are much shorter and I get straight to the point in every single episode and just focus on teaching you a new phrasal verb every time – and you shouldn’t underestimate the importance of phrasal verbs in English. They’re a vital part of fluent, natural English. So check out teacherluke.co.uk/pv for the episode archive – some of them have videos too.
Right – enough rambling! I’m off! I’ve got lots of exam marking to do! Have a nice day or night or morning or whatever and I’ll speak to you soon. Cheers! BYE!
Photos (clockwise – left to right) Princess Diana, a ladybird, Fantastic Four logo, The Queen, Tim Curry, Dave Grohl, LEP logo.
In this episode I’m joined by podcast pals Amber & Paul and we talk about Paul’s hit youtube video about French kissing habits, his newfound success as a stand-up (he’s the hottest kid in town), some online abuse he’s had and then an anecdote about an audition that we attended recently, which involved a surprising misunderstanding about accents. There’s also a brief language focus on using relative clauses with ‘which’ to extend your sentences when speaking. Enjoy!
Transcript for the intro and outro to this episode
Intro
Hello, welcome back to the podcast. This is episode 342. First of all I’d like to say thanks if you’ve recently left comments on my website, written positive reviews on iTunes or especially if you’ve sent a donation to the podcast. I appreciate all of those things very very much indeed and I hope that you feel like you’ve invested in this podcast, even in a small way. Every little helps. So thank you very much.
In this episode I’m joined again by podcast pals Amber and Paul
If you are a brand new listener and you don’t know them then here are the basics: Essentially, they’re both from the south-east of England, I know them from the stand-up comedy scene here in Paris and they both have super-powers, yes that’s right – super-powers.
Amber is a voice-over artist, actress and tour guide. She has a little 2-year-old son called Hugo (who has featured on the podcast before, making dinosaur noises in episode 297), and Amber’s super power is that she has loveliest voice in the world. Her voice is so lovely it could melt the heart of even the toughest person – like anyone at all. Even Vladimir Putin or Batman would be reduced to a little puppy when listening to Amber’s voice, right listeners? If Amber’s voice was on Darth Vader’s iPod and he listened to her talking, he would immediately give up his devotion to the dark side and turn into an ewok or something. That’s Amber.
Paul used to work for Apple – the company, not the fruit. It would be weird if he worked for an Apple. Anyway, last year he took the brave decision to quit his job in order to focus on becoming a full-time stand-up comedian, performing both in English and in French. Paul has a weekly one-man show called #franglais which he performs every week and he also performs a two-man comedy show with me every Thursday, and that one’s called “Sorry, we’re English”. He has his own podcast, called “Becoming a Comedian”, which you can find at paultaylorcomedy.com. Paul’s super-power is his infectious laugh, which causes podcast listeners to randomly split their sides in different countries around the world, which is nice. I imagine if he had to do battle with Darth Vader, he’d just laugh in his face and Vader would turn into Jar-Jar Binks or something.
The conversation you’re going to hear in this episode was recorded the other day when we were sitting upstairs on my little terrace enjoying some sunshine. We recorded about 3 episodes-worth of stuff that day. Two in the sunshine and one indoors because after a few hours it went cloudy and then started raining, which is typical for April in this part of the world. You already heard the first part of that conversation in episode 341.
But in this conversation Amber and I talk to Paul about recent success in his stand-up career, there’s a surprise phone call from Robert Hoehn, we talk about some online abuse Paul’s received, and then Paul and I tell Amber about an audition we had for a TV show recently, which involved a bit of a misunderstanding about our British accents.
One thing I just want to let you know right now is that I’m aware that this conversation is quite quick and you might not get absolutely every single word that we say, but that’s fine because as we know, listening to native speakers at natural speed is a valuable thing for you to do even if it’s difficult to understand every little thing. Just try to fill in the blanks, tolerate the stuff you don’t understand, read between the lines and keep going. Listening several times will help, but the main thing is to relax and just enjoy spending 45 minutes in the sunshine with us.
Where were we?
Where were we in the conversation at the end of the last episode?
There was a bit of a cliffhanger of sorts. Paul was about to tell us what happened in January, and it’s something about his progress as a comedian. Let’s get an update on how it’s all going.
A bit of language analysis – Paul’s long sentence – using ‘which’
In just a moment I’m going to start playing our conversation to you and it’ll carry on from where it ended last time.
The first you’re going to hear is me saying to Paul, “Give us an update on what happened in January” and then you’ll hear Paul speaking pretty quickly, and producing perhaps the longest sentence in the history of humanity. Actually, long sentences with lots of additional clauses are pretty common in spoken English, especially in spontaneous talking. In writing I think it’s best to keep your sentences short and clear but in speaking we often find ways to extend our sentences to include new thoughts and to keep the rhythm going, particularly with words like ‘and’ or ‘but’ (simple ways) but also with relative pronouns, particularly ‘which’, which we add to nouns and even whole clauses in order to extend sentences (like I just did there – did you notice?) Check out the way Paul uses ‘which’ to extend his sentences and add ideas, adding fluency to his speech.
Here’s the first sentence you’ll hear from Paul in this episode: “Yeah, I think the last time we spoke, I don’t know if we talked about it but I was gearing up for the start of my own show, which was like an hour, my first hour-long solo show, which was starting on January 9th and I was excited (and) nervous because I’d never been on-stage for an hour (and) it was going to be cool, whatever, and then during the month of December, Robert Hoehn, who has been on the podcast previously, he runs an English comedy night and he’s, I guess, seen me do comedy for the last three years and he suggested to me that I make a video out of one of my sketches which I’d been doing on stage, which was around the French, their kissing and saying hello and it’s called La Bise, in France.”
Wow. There are a few examples of ‘which’ in there and also a ‘who’, after he mentions Robert Hoehn, who has been on the podcast previously. Also, there’s the phrase “gearing up for” which means “getting ready for”. OK. Now I’ll let you listen to that sentence in full, spoken by Paul.
One question: How many times does he say “which” and what’s the most common word that comes after it?
*Paul’s long sentence*
Answers:
He says ‘which’ four times and it’s most commonly followed by ‘was’ (3 times) and once it’s followed by ‘had been doing’.
This is often how we add information to stories. I mentioned this language point in the photo competition episode too. That’s episode 327. In Paul’s sentence, “which was” comes after a noun every time, but sometimes it comes after a clause. Question: What is the noun or clause that is followed by ‘which’ in these examples?
“He suggested that I make a video of one of my sketches which I’d been doing on stage which was around the French way of saying hello”.
Answer: Both times it’s ‘one of my sketches’
and “So, we sat on the terrace and just talked for about 2 hours, which was nice”.
Answer: it’s the whole clause ‘we sat on the terrace and just talked for about 2 hours’.
So, there was a little bit of language analysis. But that’s enough of that. I will now let you listen to the rest of the conversation properly, and enjoy another chat with podcast pals Amber & Paul, and by the way, just to let you know in advance – there is a little bit of swearing in this conversation.
*conversation starts*
Watch Paul’s Video about “La Bise”
A France24 TV news report about Paul
Outro – Transcript
We will be back, speaking more ‘crapola’ soon, because we’ll be playing the interactive lying game and that should be the next episode of this podcast.
What’s crapola? It’s just another way of saying ‘crap’ or ‘nonsense’. Crap is poo by the way. Crap is a swear word but it’s not as bad as ‘shit’. Crapola is not such a common word – it’s a variation on the word ‘crap’ and it means ‘nonsense’ or ‘stupid talking’.
Accents
Now, at the end there you heard us talking about accents. That was a slightly heated conversation and since this is my podcast I’d like to try and clarify what I was trying to say.
So, first of all we went for the audition and it was nice, but one of the producers said, “Can you speak with less of a British accent?” and we asked, “You mean you want us to use an American accent?” and she said “Not American, just less British. You know, like the way they speak in New York, because they don’t have an American accent in New York” and we were a bit stunned that doesn’t mean anything. So, first of all I think it’s not possible to have no accent. Everyone has an accent, but you might feel like your accent is the normal, standard position for the language and that every other version is an accent. Even accents which are considered to be the neutral forms are still an accent. So it doesn’t make sense to say that you don’t have an accent or that the people of a particular place don’t have an accent. If they pronounce words, using certain sounds, that’s an accent. Some accents are considered the standard forms, and in the UK and in the USA there are, broadly speaking, two standard accents. There’s Received Pronunciation in the UK, which is generally how I speak (although I have inflections from the midlands and the South East, reflecting the places where I grew up) and in the USA there’s an accent called Standard American, which is a kind of regionless accent. So maybe what the girl meant to say was, can you speak with a standard American accent, or a more trans-Atlantic accent? But then she realised that it could be taken as a bit rude, because it’s like she suggested that there was something wrong with our British accents or something. She didn’t mean any offence of course.
Another thing I often read online is the sentence, “There’s no such thing as a British accent”, which is a bit misleading. Generally people write that in response to comments on Youtube or Reddit or something when an American person has said something like “OMG I love the British accent”, or equally “OH my god the British accent sucks” or something. Then someone gets pissed off and writes a response, like “there’s no such thing as a British accent!” But that’s a bit stupid too. If an accent comes from a part of Britain, it’s a British accent. Obviously British accents exist, but the point is there is not just one British accent – there are many accents from different regions and it’s a bit short-sighted to just imagine there is only one “British accent” when in fact it’s so much more diverse than that, and I suppose that comment “There’s no such thing as a British accent” is the British person’s way of expressing annoyance or frustration over the lack of awareness of the diversity of British accents.
In the UK today we are very sensitive to accents, as Amber mentioned in the conversation. There are many many variations on the way people speak, and those variations indicate things like regional origin and social status. We shouldn’t judge people by their accents, but we do. We also are very affectionate about accents and generally very positive about regional accent variations. We love the diversity of accents in our country and generally it is considered inappropriate and snobbish to laugh at an accent or to suggest that there’s something wrong with speaking in a different way. Being snobbish about regional accents is now quite unfashionable in the UK. Regional accents are generally celebrated these days – and when you watch TV, including the BBC news, you’ll hear lots of different accents being spoken by presenters from around the country, because TV viewers appreciate the regional flavours of the different accents.
So, I suppose part of our surprise at the girl at the audition was just about her lack of awareness of accent variation, but also the slightly clumsy way she talked about the whole subject, suggesting that people in New York had no accent, or that our British way of speaking was just a regional variation of an accent that has its neutral base in Manhattan. But, I understand that identifying regional accents can be very hard when you’re not native to that language, so we didn’t take offence at the girl and it was fine, but we did find it amusing and interesting from a linguistic point of view. So, that’s that.
I must do more episodes about different regional accents on this podcast. There is just so much content to cover and it’s really important that you get a sense of the different accent variations. I have dealt with accents before a bit, but there’s so much more to do on that subject. We’ve only really scratched the surface.
Listen to Adam & Joe talking about British and American actors doing different accents, particularly Ray Winstone (UK – London) pretending to be an American in the film Fool’s Gold. 😂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIxQFUV_AcA
And this one about Leonardo DiCaprio’s Irish accent and how Hollywood helps actors perform in different accents.
This is turning into another longish episode. It happens so easily, but you heard Paul earlier talking about the ‘pause’ button. I wonder if you use that, because as I’ve said before – you don’t have to listen to these episodes in one go, you can pause and listen to the rest later. If you’re using podcasting software like an app on your phone, it will remember where you were when you paused, even if you close the app or switch off your phone or computer.
Here are some recommended apps: There’s the standard Apple Podcasts app, which is fine. I use PocketCasts which is available on iPhone and android. You can also get it on your computer. There’s Acast which is good. Also, try the Audioboom app. All of them let you listen via an internet connection (wifi or data) and the also let you download episodes onto your phone so you can listen when you’re not online. All those apps will save your position in an episode so you can listen, pause, listen again, pause, come back later and listen to more etc.
You can still just download the files from the website and put them on your mp3 player – just check if there’s a folder in your player for podcasts because if you use that folder the mp3 player will probably save your position, just like the smartphone apps do.
Amber & Paul are back on the podcast after a 4 month absence. What have they been doing? Let’s catch up with them again, and respond to some comments from listeners. This episode was recorded in the open air, up on the terrace of my flat in the April sunshine. It’s been almost exactly a year since did Episode 271: Catching up with Amber & Paul, when we sat on the terrace and chatted about TV series, ginger people and getting caught in the sun. Since then Amber & Paul have been on the podcast quite a few times, playing vocabulary & speaking games, planning a bank robbery and generally talking nonsense.
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The most recent time they were on, we played a rematch of The Lying Game. (Amber won, surprise surprise). Then we launched an interactive version of The Lying Game. We’ll be playing that later. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about – just go back into the episode archive and search for episodes with Amber & Paul.
Who are Amber & Paul? (Just in case you don’t already know)
Both are Brits living in Paris. Both perform stand up.
Amber has a lovely voice. She does voice overs, does stand-up, trained at the Gaulier school (same as Sacha Baron Cohen) loves books, radio 4 and audiobooks. Speaks French. Is a history nut. Has lived here for about 10 years. Has a baby boy who is now about 2 and a half years old.
Paul is a stand-up comedian who used to work at Apple but quit that job in order to focus on doing comedy full-time. He speaks English, French & Spanish. Previous appearances on the podcast seem to show that he doesn’t know any words in English ;) and that he always loses competitive games we play. Since his last appearance on the podcast his comedy career has taken off after one of his videos hit 1.5 million views in about a week, and now his one-man show is regularly sold out and he’s being approached by TV companies who want to produce The Paul Taylor TV Show!
Episode Contents (Here’s what you’ll hear in the episode)
Describing the context and the situation – we’re on the terrace, in the sunshine again
Amber & Paul introduce each other (for the benefit of any new listeners)
We share some comments from listeners (I read them out, we all respond)
What have you both been doing? Anything to report? This conversation will continue in the next episode…
COMMENTS FROM LISTENERS ABOUT AMBER & PAUL
Original comments can be found in the comment section for previous episodes, especially 318. Any errors have been corrected by me – you’re welcome.
Comments about the team…
Gabriel • 4 months ago
I really like the episodes with Amber and Paul :D
Brahim • 4 months ago
You make an amazing team with Amber and Paul
This is a really good episode of Luke’s English Podcast. Natural conversation among native speakers, good, engaging stories, a bit of humor and the game that listeners can also be involved trying to guess who was a liar. Please make more conversations and games on Luke’s English Podcast. It really makes a difference.
I like the new jingle. I think you should play it whenever Paul and Amber are with you ;)
Paulina
I really enjoyed this episode! Paul and Amber are awesome (I started to listen to Paul’s podcast too). The joke about Philips lightbulbs was great. I listened this episode during my way to school when I was in a bus. When I heard Paul’s laugh I couldn’t stop laughing too and lots of people in bus were staring at me but I didn’t care. Thanks Luke for changing my boring travel to university into a wonderful journey. I’ve already downloaded the second part and I can’t wait to listen to it.
I had never seen Paul, but then I don’t know how but I was on your page on facebook and saw a photo of Paul. I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but I did. And for me Paul looks definitely like Mort, an adorable goodman’s mouse lemur from “Madagascar”. http://cs608727.vk.me/v6087276… His eyes are so lovely, kind and naive.
So, you are the greatest, Luke, but you, Paul and Amber are like a great power. You remind me of “The Fantastic four”. But I think you need someone else for a complete set! ;) http://www.kinomania.ru/images…
mih • a month ago [added to the COMEDY SHOWS page]
omg, I thought Paul was black when I listened to his voice =)
On Amber & Paul’s voices (apparently most people think Amber has an amazingly lovely voice, but Paul has his fans too)…
OMG I love Amber’s voice! I could listen to her all day long!
Marinus
There is something so beautiful in Amber’s voice, Paul always makes me laugh.
Chriss Benitez • 3 months ago
I wasn’t aware of this episode till now. I will say it every time I hear Amber: “Just lovely voice”.
You’ve got a nice accent too Paul, and you do French and Spanish impressions so well. But Amber is a British girl with a lovely accent, there is no better thing on earth :/ sorry.
Dinara • 4 months ago
Paul I totally LOOOVE your voice! It’s charming)
Lê Vũ QC • 4 months ago
As a girl, I quite enjoy Paul’s voice, it sounds boyish and cute :) I’m downloading the episodes of his podcast now. #teamPaul
On Paul’s podcast…
Edelegn • 4 months ago
Absolutely loved Paul’s podcast.
Lê Vũ QC Lê Vũ QC • 4 months ago
OK I listened to the first episode and it was quite hilarious [Luke: absolutely hilarious]. I shouldn’t have been eating dinner while listening though because he talked about some gross stuff there. Very funny podcast nonetheless. :v
Michael Prior • 4 months ago
Hi y’all,
I enjoyed your rematch very much today! It’s just that I found myself thinking that you might have been a bit rude towards Amber, with referring to Paul’s comedy and blog and all. On the other hand, when Amber mentioned she’s doing stand-up as well, it didn’t seem worthwhile elaborating on that. You just let that slide… or did I miss anything? ?
Greetings
Michael from Germany Luke Thompson to Michael Prior • 4 months ago
Amber does stand up too, but she doesn’t have her own show at the moment, and also doesn’t have her own podcast either. Really, it’s fine – we’re good friends so there was no rudeness or anything. :)
From the Archives: Other Episodes featuring Amber & Paul
158 & 159. A Cup of Christmas Tea with… Paul Taylor The first time Paul Taylor has been on the podcast. Paul’s a comedian who works for Apple. We get to know Paul and talk about typical Christmas in the UK. Paul and I copy different accents in English.
161. She’s Having a BabyAn interview with Amber Minogue, pregnant with her first child, about pregnancy and childbirth.
271. Catching Up with Amber & PaulA really funny and friendly conversation with my friends Amber and Paul on a very hot and sunny day in April.
272. The Bad Haircut Situation How should you give compliments, accept compliments and give bad news politely in English? Listen to this funny discussion to hear what Amber, Paul and I think.
296. Learning Comedy is like Learning a LanguageA conversation with Paul Taylor about his experiences at the Edinburgh fringe festival, and how learning to do comedy is similar to learning to speak a foreign language.
298. The Bank Robbery (Part 1) A speaking exercise with native speakers. How will Amber, Paul and Sebastian plan the perfect bank robbery?
309. The Lying Game (Part 2) With Amber & Paul Here’s part 2 of this speaking game with Amber and Paul. Listen until the end to hear me explain how I use this game in my English classes (hello teachers).
Attacks in Paris Paul Taylor was just a few meters away from one of the shootings that took place in Paris this week. He tells me all that he saw and what happened.
310. The Words of the Year (Part 1) In all 3 of these episodes I explain and clarify a lot of what we say in these funny conversations so that you can learn, laugh and understand everything.
This episode features another natural conversation with a native English speaker. This time I’m talking to my mate Carrick, who I’ve known for about 10 years now. He is a teacher who used to work in the same school as me, back in London. We have a few things in common, like the fact that we’ve both had strange travelling experiences as English teachers, including the time when he once attended a meeting in Germany that involved not only the usual business work but also the drinking of some very rare and expensive scotch whiskies, which meant that the meeting turned into a kind of musical party with guitar and flute playing, quite a lot of whisky drinking, a late night and then, unsurprisingly, a bit of a hangover the next day. Listen to hear a few anecdotes, some authentic English conversation and more.
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All this took place in Germany as I said, so you could say that he had a “hangover in Hanover” (Hanover is a city in Germany). Although to be honest he was actually in Frankfurt not Hanover – yeah, I just wanted to use the line “a hangover in Hanover”. Yes, that was supposed to be clever and funny, but never mind. :P
Anecdotes
We also share a few other anecdotes about travelling experiences we’ve had, including the time when I ended up being invited to my Japanese doctor’s house on New Year’s Day to make a kind of traditional cake by bashing a ball of wet rice over and over again with a big wooden mallet while being laughed at by a group of small children. Does that sound familiar at all? Have you ever done that? You might have, if you’re Japanese, or if you’ve spent new year in Japan. Do you have any idea what I’m talking about? Well, keep listening to find out.
Sound Quality
Another quick thing to say now is that admittedly the sound quality during the interview is a bit poor. I recorded it over Skype because I’m in France and Carrick is in England, and Carrick wasn’t able to get to a computer with a good microphone because he was (and still is) completely stuck to his sofa with a very bad back, the poor guy. He’s got a nasty slipped disc in his back which means he can’t move. So during this conversation he was basically lying on his back, talking to me over Skype with his phone in his hand.
So, yes, I know the sound is not 100% great and it might be difficult to hear his words at times, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s actually very common these days to speak English over Skype or on conference calls – like for example if you’re in an international business meeting talking to someone who’s in another country. The sound isn’t always perfect in those situations, is it? So, I think you need to get used to hearing English in less than perfect conditions. So, Audio quality is a bit bad, but don’t give up – you’ll get used to it after a while. It’s good practice.
While You Listen
As you listen, watch out for these things: the moments when Carrick (intentionally) switches from an English accent to a Scottish accent and back again, the way he describes different types of Scotch Whisky including words to describe their tastes and where they are made. So be mindful of vocabulary and grammar that you’re hearing, but above all – just enjoy being able to listen in on this conversation between a couple of mates. You can imagine you’re in the room with me listening to the conversation on speakerphone.
Ok, that’s it for my introduction. I’ll now get out of the way and let you listen to conversation in full. I’ll speak to you again when the conversation is over.
So, that was Carrick. I really hope his back gets better soon because it must be pretty miserable for him to be just lying there all the time. I expect all of us sometimes think “Ooh, I’d love to spend 3-4 weeks lying on my back all day watching TV, high on a cocktail of prescription drugs.” (well, not everyone thinks that but you know what I mean) but when that lifestyle is forced on you as a result of an accident, it’s not that much fun is it. So, I hope Carrick gets well soon for his own sake, but also I hope he gets well soon for the sake of his wife and kids too, who might want to actually sit on that sofa and watch TV themselves at some point, and I also hope Carrick gets back on his feet soon for the sake of the kids in his school who are probably missing Mr Cameron in their classes!
More Stuff about Sound Quality (actually, it wasn’t that bad, was it?)
So, this is nearly the end of the episode. I wonder how the sound quality was for you? I expect it was a bit difficult to hear every word but you got used to it. Is that right? What’s that? It was difficult at the start but you got used to it? Ah good, I thought so. Sorry? You couldn’t understand everything – it was difficult and possibly a bit frustrating at times? Ah, sorry about that, but I think it’s good practice because your brain has to work a bit harder to guess the things you don’t understand. It’s good training. What was that you said? You’d expect the audio quality to be much higher in future please. Oh, alright, well – sorry but this is a free podcast right? So, you get what you pay for ok?
No, I agree. It would be better if the quality was always perfect, but that’s not always going to happen. Sometimes when I interview people on Skype the sound might be less than perfect, but as I said before – that’s normal in the real world, sometimes the sound quality will not be perfect when you’re using English over the phone or on a conference call. It’s good for you to get used to it.
Things to remember about learning a language (encouragement)
Just remember these things: learning a language is a long-term project and you will encounter various obstacles but you mustn’t give up. One of those obstacles might be that you can’t understand every word in an episode of Luke’s English Podcast, or in a conference call. So, even if you didn’t understand all of that. Don’t give up. I realise I’m preaching to the converted here, because if you’re listening to this it means that you listened to the whole conversation and you didn’t stop. So, well done you.
Shall I do an episode in which I explain the vocab, like in episode 335?
But really, I wonder if you’d like me to record a follow-up to this conversation in which I explain and clarify the content, like I did after the Craig Wealand interview. If you would like me to do that, let me know by leaving a comment or giving me an email at luketeacher@hotmail.com. I value your feedback.
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italki
Don’t forget to use italki to find a native speaker for conversations or a teacher for lessons. It really is a great way to push your English to higher and higher levels. Visit https://teacherluke.co.uk/talk to get started and when you make a purchase italki will give you 100 free credits which you can spend on lessons in the future.
One tip: use the “search teachers” function to find the right teacher for you, and that includes special skills like Cambridge Exam preparation and business English. https://teacherluke.co.uk/talk or click an italki logo on my website.
A couple of comments at the end, just before we finish up here.
If you’ve sent me an email recently, or ever, and I haven’t responded I am sorry. I can’t respond to them all but I do read them all I promise! I also send emails to people and don’t get responses and I know how it feels. I’m a huge fan of Greg Proops and Adam Buxton. I met Greg Proops at a book signing in Paris, shook his hand and exchanged a few words (I told him I was a comedian and he nodded sagely). I wanted to talk to him for hours, but I just said “nice one” and left. I then wrote him a long email, telling him how much I enjoyed his podcast called “The Smartest Man in the World” and I wrote a very British invitation to join me on an episode of LEP some time. I never got a reply. I also tweet comments to Adam Buxton all the time, who I am sure is an absolutely lovely person but I never get a reply or a retweet or anything, but that’s ok of course, I don’t mind, but I feel a little bit ignored, you know? Again, I don’t feel entitled to a reply or any attention at all because his part of the deal has already been done – he’s already given me hours of lovely talking on his podcast so he can’t be expected to respond to every tweet or email. Totally fine with it. So, anyway, thanks for your comments, messages, emails, tweets and so on – I appreciate your thoughts very very much.
Again, thank you to my Japanese doctor if he’s listening (I doubt it) for not only saving my skin when I was sick by taking care of me, giving me medicine and arranging for me to spend two weeks in Kinugasa hospital. I liked the video you played to me when we were both drunk on that New Year’s Day (at about 4.30pm I believe) in which you and your band were playing a live version of “Listen to the Music” by The Doobie Brothers. It was awesome.
Hello to anyone who likes whisky – I hope you enjoyed this episode.
Hello to the people of Scotland – I hope you choose to stay in the UK, but I’d understand if you choose to leave. I hope you don’t though. (I didn’t ask Carrick about Scottish Independence – maybe that can be a future episode)
Hello to a Japanese LEPster called Satomi who recently came to one of my shows here in Paris. Satomi, it was very nice to meet you and your friends after the show and I am very glad that you chose to introduce yourself to me. Give my regards to Yoshi – that’s a French guy who she was with, who called himself Yoshi, and not the cute dinosaur who is friends with Super Mario. Yes, I had a Yoshi at my show. In fact, not long ago I had a Luigi at the show too. I’m yet to have a Mario there, but let’s hope so. I wonder what it would be like to have Mario in my audience. I wonder how he would laugh. Maybe he’d go “wawawawawa” (Mario noise), or maybe if I talked for too long without making a joke he’d heckle me by saying “Letsa GO!” and I’d say – “can you stop heckling?” and he’d say “It’s MARIO time!” and I’d say, “*securty* remove this man from the room please he’s disturbing the performance”.
Hello to the lovely Argentinian couple who listen to this podcast and who also came to another one of my recent comedy shows. It was lovely to meet you too!
Let’s go back to Japan for a moment – Hello to all my Japanese listeners. I love Japan very much and I miss it a lot. Whenever I see pics of Japan on Facebook or listen to music from that I used to listen to when I was there I always think “ah 懐かしい” – “Nihon Natukashii ne!” which roughly translates as “Ah, good old Japan!” That phrase is used to express feelings of nostalgia. You know those waves of nostalgia that you feel when you remember something? You might see a photo, or perhaps smell some food that brings you right back, or you might actually go to the place and immediately feel a kind of comfort in being there. That’s exactly how I feel when I drink a really good cup of Yorkshire tea or something, like “Ah, good old Yorkshire tea”, or “Yookusha tea natsukashii da-yo ne?” So, hello Japan, I know you’re listening – “O genki desu ka?” which is a bit like saying “alright?” in English. I do plan to visit Japan with my wife – I must show her around the place a bit, I think she’d love it and I’d be able to say “natsukashii”, “heeee” and “hooooo” all the time. It would be nice to go drinking (in moderation of course) in an izakaya or something. And perhaps someone might go red in the face and fall asleep after having a couple of beers. Look after yourselves, ok!
Photos – check below to see some pics of Carrick’s funny experience at the German business meeting in Frankfurt at Deutche Bahn. If you work at Deutche Bahn – get in touch! Perhaps you know someone who was at the meeting. It’s possible. You should also find a pic of me hammering a ball of rice with a wooden mallet to make mochi, while wondering what was going on in my life! (I now realise what was going on – I was having a lot of fun indeed).
You’ll also find the names of Carrick’s favourite whiskies and the other brand name whiskies we mentioned in the episode, in case you want to check them out.
Thanks again for listening. :)
Carrick’s Top 3 Single-Malt Scotch Whiskies
1. Lagavulin
– from the island of Islay
– It’s delicious
– It’s smokey
– It’s filtered through peat
2. Macallan
– It’s from the Highlands
– It’s got a smooth, creamy texture
– It’s like very alcoholic milk (although it doesn’t look like milk of course)
3. Caol Ila
– It has a subtle flavour
– It’s like Lagavulin but more delicate
Other types of whisky
Blended scotch whisky – it’s made from a blend of different whiskies, it’s cheaper and is easy to find in supermarkets. Typical brands: Teacher’s, Bell’s, Famous Grouse, Chivas Regal.
American brands of bourbon whiskey (they’re not Carrick’s ‘bag’ = he doesn’t really like them, they’re not his cup of tea)
Jack Daniel’s, Jim Beam, Maker’s Mark.
That Japanese “best whisky in the world”
I think Carrick was talking about this one – Nikka Whisky (it doesn’t begin with a Y, unless you mean “Why?” – and the answer is – “Because it tastes so good!”) http://www.worldwhiskiesawards.com/nikka-whisky-taketsuru-pure-malt-17-years-old.13912.html
Photos
Carrick, doing his presentation about single malt whiskies
Tasting single malt whiskies
The presentation continues after some whisky has been drunk. Note that the jacket has been removed.
Let the music play! (note that the bow tie is now gone too)
You can actually see the spirit of Scotland in this picture (and I don’t mean the whiskey)
Greg Proops’ signature & message to me – “Give them the very devil” and an interesting way to write ‘E’.
Greg Proops talking at Shakespeare & Co. – an English bookshop in Paris
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Disclaimer #2: swearing
